About the Authors: Sam Panico runs B&S Movies. R.D Francis writes for B&S Movies and can be reached on Facebook.

Tangerine Dream, a German electronic band founded in 1967 by Edgar Froese, is justifiably revered as pioneers in electronica, a musical style that incorporated conventional instruments such as electric guitars, acoustic drums and Hammond organs alongside a barrage of Minimoogs and synthesizers (others influenced by TD deploy Telharmoniums, and Theremins), along with drum machines and bass synthesizers and woodwind instruments.

At the height of their popularity during their “Virgin Years” (from Sex Pistols to space planes!), which resulted in their pre-soundtrack, U.K Top 20 albums Phaedra (1974) and Rubycon (1975), Tangerine Dream was cited as a major influence behind ‘70s new age instrumental-music, ‘80s new wave pop, and ‘90s House/EDM “electronic dance music.” Berlin, Duran Duran, The Flying Lizards, Joy Division, M, The Normal, and Spandau Ballet, The Chemical Brothers, My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, and The Prodigy—even John Carpenter (Halloween and Escape from New York), Barry De Vorzon (The Warriors), and Fred Myrow (Phantasm)—all owe their debt to the tangerine dreams of Edgar Froese. And let’s not forget the Tangerine Dream influence on Giorgio Moroder’s “I Feel Love” recorded by Donna Summer—a song widely credited as “one of the most influential records ever made,” and originating electronic dance music.

Tangerine Dream experienced numerous personnel changes over the years, with Froese as the only continuous member until his January 2015 death. The best know roster of the group (in the U.S.) was its mid-‘70s trio featuring Froese, along with Christopher Franke and Peter Baumann. The band is currently led by its longest-serving member, who joined in the band in 2005, Thorsten Quaeschning. The band recently completed their October and November 2019 “16 Steps—Random & Revision” European tour. You can read up on the latest tour and release news at their official website.

While their catalog—and their soundtrack work—is extensive, these are B&S Movies’ favorite movies backed by Tangerine Dream.

1. 1977: Sorcerer
2. 1981: Thief
3. 1983: The Keep
4. 1983: Wavelength
5. 1983: Risky Business
6. 1983: Firestarter
7. 1985: Legend
8. 1987: Three O’Clock High
9. 1987: Near Dark
10. 1988: Miracle Mile

R.D’s Reviews:

Sorcerer (1977)

Tangerine Dream’s soundtrack for Sorcerer (1977) was the Krautrocker’s first Hollywood film score and ninth album overall.

While the William Friedkin-directed film the soundtrack supported gained mixed to negative reviews on the critical front with a worldwide box office of $15 million against its $22 million budget, Tangerine Dream’s soundtrack fared better: Sorcerer reached the U.S Top 200, a domestic-retail milestone for the band. In the U.K the album went to #25 on the charts and became their third highest-charting album. The critical and sales plateaus reached by the band with their soundtrack debut so impressed Hollywood, it led to the band’s fruitful career of soundtrack work.

While Friedkin disagrees with the assessment, this second adaptation of Georges Arnaud’s French novel Le Salaire de la peur (1950) carries the majority of critical opinion that Sorcerer is not so much a Friedkin reimaging of the novel than it is a straight remake of Wages of Fear (1953), the first film based on the novel. Initially conceived as a $15 million project, the film’s Dominican Republic shoot went “Heaven’s Gate,” near doubling its budget and required the resources of two studios—Universal and Paramount—to complete it.

Both of the Arnaud-inspired films are concerned with four unfortunate outcasts of varied backgrounds from around the globe running from their individual demons. They come to work together when they find mutual employment transporting cargoes of unstable, aged stocks of “nitroglycerin sweating” dynamite across a treacherous South American jungle (see Werner Herzog’s Aguirre, the Wrath of God and Fitzcaraldo).

Today, while it is critically lauded as one of Freidkin’s finest, and an amicable follow up to his influential hit, The Exorcist (1973), it bombed at the box office as result of Universal and Paramount underestimating the potential of 20th Century Fox’s new science fiction-fantasy: George Lucas’s follow up to his own 1973 hit, American Graffiti: Star Wars.

Thief (1981)

The soundtrack to Thief is a shining example of Tangerine Dream’s musical prolificacy: while it takes a band like Guns and Roses 15 years to release a follow up album, Tangerine Dream—in the short span of five years between the years of 1977 to 1981—released six albums, with Thief serving as their second soundtrack album and fifteenth album overall. As with Sorcerer, the soundtrack became another U.K chart hit, reaching #43 and became their second album to lodge into the U.S Top 200, this time at #150, the first for any electronic-instrumental band.

Noted TV producer Michael Mann, of the worldwide U.S TV hit, Miami Vice, made his feature film debut as a writer, director and producer with his adaptation of John Seybold’s (the nom de plume of real-life jewel thief, Frank Hohimer) novel, The Home Invaders: Confession of a Cat Burglar. James Caan (The Godfather, the highly-influential Rollerball) stars as a businessman who owns a successful bar and car dealership by day; by night: he’s a professional safecracker. When he’s released from prison and tries to set his life straight, the mob pulls him back in . . . and he goes the “scorched earth” route as a final resolution to get his life back.

The film became a critical and box office hit for Mann and Caan; however, the same can’t be said for Mann’s next Tangerine Dream-backed film, The Keep.

The Keep (1983)

This Michael Mann-Tangerine Dream project is proof that not only movies can have troubled productions—so can their related soundtracks.

While Michael Mann’s follow up to Thief —also his second time working with Tangerine Dream—was released in 1983, the soundtrack was adrift in legal limbo for fourteen years. Tangerine Dream’s twenty-third soundtrack, it was their—mindboggling—fifty-eight album overall. Contrary to rumors, The Keep soundtrack was never released as a bootlegged, limited run on 12” vinyl. Also of note: Out of the sixteen tracks the band composed for the film, Michael Mann only used four.

As result of fan demand, Tangerine Dream issued their vanity press—the first “unofficial” release—of the soundtrack in a 150 CD limited run during a 1997 U.K tour. Richard Branson’s U.K-based Virgin Records planned to release the album to the public in 1998, but continuing legal issues with the film studio stopped the release. Tangerine Dream countered with their 300 CD limited run of the European-only tour-sold album, Millennium Booster (1999), which was The Keep—with a different album cover.

Michael Mann’s original, 210-minute cut of his adaptation of F. Paul Wilson’s imaginative, H.P Lovecraftian novel (1981) regarding Nazi stormtroopers colluding with a Jewish historian to kill a vampire released from the crypt of a Transylvanian fortress is, more than likely, a masterpiece of horror. Sadly, Mann was forced to cut ninety minutes out of his three-hour thirty-minute epic and give Paramount a two-hour film (shorter film, more screenings; more screenings, more box office). Obviously losing continuity and lending to confusion in the greed-driven editing process, the film failed in test screenings. Paramount’s solution: more cuts . . . and less box office.

The end result, while visually up to the high-Mann standards, was a plot-holed riddled mess that no one went to see (as result of the scathing reviews) and not even the presence of the perpetually likable Jürgen Prochnow (Operation Ganymed) and Ian McKellan (The Lord of the Rings series) can save it.

If ever a film needed a TV mini-series reboot or, better yet, a DVD restoration of its original 210-minute cut, The Keep is that movie.

Update #1: Courtesy of Mark Edward Heuck of the very cool The Projector Has Been Drinking Blogspot commenting on our “Ten Movies that Were Never Released on DVD” featurette, we’ve come to learn that . . . “While there has been speculation that Mann would like to reedit this for video, since he reedits darn near all his movies, the big issue is that the Tangerine Dream tracks used in the film are not original to the film, but repurposed from older albums, therefore they must be recleared for DVD and the label wants too much money. Since most streaming is classified as “broadcast,” the old contract that covered TV rights is what allows THE KEEP to be available to watch online while still absent on disc.”

Update #2: We’ve since taken a second look at The Keep as part of our May 2023 tribute to Roger Avery and Quentin Tarantino’s weekly podcast tribute to their days at Manhattan Beach’s Video Archives, here’s the link to their take on this Micheal Mann curio.

Wavelength (1983)

Do the members of Tangerine Dream have cots and a hot plate in the back of the recording studio? It seems they never leave. In three years they produced five more albums and punched out their fourteenth soundtrack (after The Keep).

While its aliens-making-contact-with-Earth plot was conceived prior to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, production snafus led to Wavelength being released in Steve Speilberg’s backwash. So, instead of the film being considered as somewhat of an innovator in the Kessel Run to create a Star Wars-inspired hit, it was cast as a CE3K rip-off that everyone remembers as being inept as Charles Band’s Laserblast, but is actually much better than its reputation implies.

Keenan Wynn, ironically, from Laserblast, costars alongside David Carradine’s (Deathsport) brother, Robert (Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds), and ex-The Runaways’ Cherie “Cherry Bomb” Currie (duBeat-e-o, Foxes, Rosebud Beach Hotel). The tale concerns Bobby Sinclair, a washed up California musician who meets a sexy-ditsy psychic, Iris Longarce, who begins to “hear” the childlike voices of aliens. The wayward couple decides to liberate the aliens from their government lab imprisonment.

A box-office flop, it became a hit on HBO and video store shelves, thanks to the curiosity seekers of all things Runaways.

Three O’Clock High (1987)

The creatively-inexhaustible Tangerine Dream produces their ninth soundtrack album—after Tom Cruise’s Legend (1985)—and thirty-second album overall. Caveat: While Tangerine Dream is featured on a majority of the soundtrack, additional, last-minute music needed for some scenes was completed by Sylvester Levay and is included; also featured is the film’s theme song, “Something to Remember Me By,” by Portland, Oregon-based singer/songwriter Jim Walker. (You know Levay as the writer of the mid-’70s Top 40 hits “Fly, Robin Fly” and “Get Up and Boogie” for the German disco group, Silver Convention, as well as the soundtracks for Stallone’s Cobra and the U.S TV series Airwolf.)

In the ‘90s, we were subjected to over-the-head-of-most-audiences teen-comedy inversions of Jane Austen’s works (Clueless, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, From Prada to Nada) and Shakespeare (10 Things I Hate About You, She’s the Man, Get Over It). However, in the ‘80s, Hollywood was more lowbrow: studios needed to create knock-offs of Tom Cruise’s Risky Business, so they sprayed some American Graffiti on the frames of Cary Grant’s more-familiar western classic, High Noon (1952).

In this teen-driven, black comedy update directed by noted rock video director Phil Jounou in his feature film debut (his 1999 autobiographical film, Entropy, starred blu-cigs spokesman Stephen Dorff alongside U2), a gangly, high school bookworm is intimated into a showdown at three o’clock with the school’s infamous bully.

*Be sure to surf on over to my review of the Tangerine Dream-scored and Tommy Lee Jones-starring Canadian thriller This Park is Mine.

Sam’s Reviews:

Risky Business (1983)

Written and directed by Paul Brickman, this movie dominated 1983, making a young Tom Cruise — dancing in his underwear, no less — into a legit star.

Beyond the Tangerine Dream score, the movie boasts a major scene scored by Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” as well as the aforementioned Bob Segar “Old Time Rock and Roll” tighty whitey dancing number. Plus, it has “Hungry Heart” by Bruce Springsteen, “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, some Journey, Jeff Beck, Prince, Talking Heads and Muddy Waters, too.

Cruise is Joel Goodson, a high schooler dealing with the expectations of perfection and attending Princeton. The teen movie trope of the parents away for the weekend and the parties that ensue are part of it, but so is a very real narrative of what growing up means. Rebecca De Mornay shines here as Lana, again another trope of the hooker with the heart of gold, yet outdoing the expectations that you have for how her story progresses.

Between this film and The Blues Brothers, Ray-Ban’s Wayfarer sunglasses found themselves going from waning sales to being the hottest shades ever. That popularity has really never ceased.

As for Tangerine Dream, most of their score for the film comes from their album Force Majeure, including the title song from that release making up Lana’s theme. They also based another song, “No Future (Get off the Babysitter),” on a past song called “Exit.”

Firestarter (1983)

Mark Lester has been on our site plenty of times, thanks to films like Truck Stop Women, Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw and Roller Boogie. He’d graduate to bigger Hollywood films like Commando and this Stephen King adaption, which places Charlie McGee (Drew Barrymore) and her father Andy (David Keith) against the Shop, or the government’s Department of Scientific Intelligence.

That’s because while Andy and Charlie’s mother Vicky (Heather Locklear) were in college, they earned money by getting dosed with LOT-6, a drug that gave him the ability to take over minds and her the talent of reading people’s thoughts. Their daughter can now see into the near future and start fires with a thought.

Martin Sheen and George C. Scott play the government agents trying to turn Charlie into a weapon, Art Carney and Louise Flecther play a farming couple who help our heroes and lots of people get blown up real good.

John Carpenter was the original choice to direct this, but after The Thing failed at the box office, he was replaced by Lester. This is also one of the first firsts shot in Wilmington, North Carolina, starting that town off as a major movie-making destination. It’s also where several other Stephen King adaptions were made, including Silver Bullet and Maximum Overdrive.

This would be the fifth soundtrack that Tangerine Dream would create.

Legend (1985)

This Ridley Scott movie has always stood out from his other work to me, as it’s quite literally a children’s story about the most archetypical battle between the good of Jack (Tom Cruise) and evil of the Lord of Darkness (Tim Curry). Much like how the original fairy tales were incredibly dark, this movie is filled with morbid imagery and a villain that may overwhelm viewers, making them love him more than the protagonist.

The death of the unicorn in this film is a moment that many 1980’s children will remember as quite possibly the end of said childhood.

The true star of this movie remains Curry, who is absolutely incredible (as always). He spent five and a half hours a day just to get into the makeup, which then needed a full hour of bathing to remove all the adhesive. One day, Curry grew impatient and claustrophobic, removing the makeup and some of his own skin. He was off the film for a week to recover.

Interestingly enough, the European and director’s cut of this film don’t use Tangerine Dream, but instead feature music by Jerry Goldsmith. There was also a Bryan Ferry song, “Is Your Love Strong Enough?” that features Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour and a music video for that as well.

If you look in n Meg Mucklebones’ swamp and when the unicorn is chained up, you can even stop Pazuzu from The Exorcist.

Much like many of Scott’s early efforts like Blade Runner — and several other films on this list — this movie wasn’t considered a classic when it was released. But today? Today it certainly is.

Near Dark (1987)

You never asked me, but if you did wonder, “Hey Sam, what’s your favorite vampire movie?” Near Dark would be the answer.

Caleb Colton (Adrian Pasdar) falls for a drifter named Mae (Jenny Wright, who was the lead in I, Madman, a movie I still need to get to for the site), who bites him on the neck after a night of romance. The next morning, his skin burns in he sun. There’s no ambiguity here — he’s now one of the undead and must join the family that Mae belongs to, led by Jesse Hooker (Lance Henriksen, never better), a 150-year-old Civil War veteran who may have also started the Great Chicago Fire.

There’s also Diamondback (Jenette Goldstein, Private Vasquez from Aliens) and Severen (Bill Paxton, again, never better), a psychotic madman who is probably the best character in this and a hundred other movies all added together. Then there’s Homer (Joshua John Miller, son of The Exorcist star Jason Miller and Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!‘s Susan Bernard, as well as the half-brother of another 1987 vampire movie actor, Jason Patric from The Lost Boys; he’s also Willie Challis in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch), who yearns to turn Caleb’s sister Sarah into one of the family. Tim Thomerson is also in this movie as Caleb’s dad. As always, he’s incredible.

Platinum Dunes, who remade everything at one point, discussed relensing this cowboy vampire film and I’m so pleased that it never happened. This is a movie that I return to every few years and am so pleased with how it’s held up. Actually, the movie stays pretty tight lipped about whether or not they’re even vampires, never mentioning the word and staying away from much of the traditional mythos and tropes.

Miracle Mile (1988)

Steve De Jarnatt created two apocalyptic movies that have stood the test of time, even if they’ve been somewhat forgotten: Cherry 2000 and this film. He also helped write 1983’s SCTV movie, Strange Brew, a fact which I’d always list first on my resume.

His movie Miracle Mile sat for a decade, one of the best scripts that Hollywood knew about but balked at making, as De Jarnatt refused to change the downbeat ending. It almost started with Nicholas Cage and Kurt Russell as the leads and at one point was going to be the only tale in Twilight Zone: The Movie.

Taking place in real time over a single day and night, this movie is all about Harry (Anthony Edwards, Fast Times at Ridgemont High) and Julie (Mare Winningham, St. Elmo’s Fire), a couple who meet at the La Brea Tar Pits and instantly fall in love. The only problem is that Harry picks up a payphone and learns from Chip — a scientist trying to call his father — that there are only seventy minutes until the world ends.

As Harry tells everyone in a diner about the phone call, one of the diners named Landa (Denise Crosby, Tasha Yar herself), calls a number of politicians in Washington on her wireless phone — a rare thing for 1988 to be honest — and learns that they’re all heading for the extreme Southern Hemisphere. She charters a jet to Antarctica — a place with limited rainfall — and offers to take most of the diner’s customers with her.

Within hours, Los Angeles has descended into chaos, with Harry even inadvertently causing several deaths. The end is a mixture of fulfilled promise and wasted potential and the end of everything. This isn’t a movie full of fun and joy, to be perfectly honest, but it is not free from hope.

Look for John Agar — star of several B films (Night Fright, Revenge of the Creature) and John Wayne movies — as well as Kurt Fuller, who played the sleazy promoter in the Hulk Hogan vehicle No Holds Barred, Brian Thompson (the Night Slasher from Cobra), Robert DoQui (who played Sgt. Warren Reed in RoboCop), Sam Shepherd’s wife O-Lan Jones (who was in Edward Scissorhands), Lucille Bliss (the “Girl with the Thousand Voices” who was Smurfette and Crusader Rabbot), former felon and later screenwriter Edward Bunker (he wrote Straight Time and Runaway Train), Peter Berg (who would go on to direct Friday Night Lights) and Jenette Goldstein (who would go on to appear in Aliens and Near Dark). Fred the Cook was going to be played by Eraserhead star Jack Nance, but the actor decided that he wanted to focus on his job of being a security guard instead.

Ironically, Earl Boen plays a character named Harlan, named for writer Harlan Ellison. Boen is in just about every Terminator movie, which is ironic, as Ellison sued the creators of Terminator for stealing their idea from two of his Outer Limits scripts, Soldier and Demon With a Glass Hand.

In 2017, Tangerine Dream released the version of the score that they delivered to the director. Several of the tracks on this version are simply musical effects that they created for the film. It was the twelfth movie that they did the soundtrack for.

If the payphone from this film still exists, it’s phone number would be 323-254-9411. Feel free to give that number a call.

Tangerine Dream’s Catalog:

There’s more Tangerine Dream music—not only from their soundtracks, but also from their studio albums, such as Cyclone, Exit, Force Majeure, Rubycon, and Stratosfear—to be found on their official You Tube Page provided by the Universal Music Group.

* All banners by R.D Francis. Band logo courtesy of Tangerine Dream. Text by PicFont.com. Album covers courtesy of Discogs.com. Band biography introduction by R.D Francis.

* We do our best to keep the video embeds of trailers and music for this very popular post, current. However, as you know, HMTL is stubborn and links sometimes “break,” as well as You Tube uploads come and go. So, if you see a dead embed or broken link, please let us know in the comments, below, so we can address it. Many thanks to our fellow Tangerine Dreams fans for your support and kind comments.

Slasher month has come and gone and that’s sad, to be honest. We watched more than eighty slashers over thirty one days, so that’s been quite the journey. We’ve also shared plenty of top ten slasher lists from friends and created some in-depth articles about the genre. Whether you’ve been with us from October 1 or this is the first time you’ve checking us out, thanks for being part of this.

You can always check out our full list of slasher films at Letterboxd.

• Doom Asylum
• Death Ship
• Intruder
• Calendar Girl Murders
• Bloody Birthday
• Visiting Hours
• Sleepaway Camp II
• The Initiation
• Sleepaway Camp III
• Killer Klowns from Outer Space
• Dawn of the Mummy
• Skinner
• 3 From Hell
• The Hills Have Eyes II
• Fantasies
• The Dorm That Dripped Blood
• The Prey
• Night of the Creeps
• The House on Sorority Row
• Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker
• Mardi Gras Massacre
• Death Warmed Up
• Splatter University
• Motel Hell
• A Bucket of Blood
• Maniac Cop
• Maniac Cop II
• Maniac Cop III
• Psycho Cop
• Psycho Cop Returns
• The Wax Mask
• Are You In the House Alone?
• Deadly Friend
• Blood Cult
• Killer Party
• Blue Sunshine
• Effects
• Scream
• Mortuary
• Eyes of a Stranger
• Axeman
• Appointment With Fear
• Blood Sucking Freaks
• Cannibal Girls
• Superstition
• Ice Cream Man
• Witch Story
• The Fan
• Hider In the House
• Bloody Moon
• Devil Returns
• Maniac
• Hitcher In the Dark
• Ghostkeeper
• Hide and Go Shriek
• Nightmare Beach
• Strange Behavior
• Candyman
• Open House
• Dark Ride
• Rituals
• Don’t Go Near the Park
• Deranged
• Someone’s Watching Me!
• The Case of the Hillside Strangers take 1
• The Case of the Hillside Stranglers take 2
• Silent Scream
• Massacre at Central High
• Pledge Night
• Spine
• Evil Laugh
• Pandemonium
• April Fool’s Day
• The Burning
• Phantom of Death
• Don’t Panic
• Bloody New Year
• Midnight
• Madhouse
• Hell High
• Blood Tracks
• American Gothic
• Theater of Blood
• Honeymoon Horror
• Iced

TOP TENS

• William Mendoza
• Rosalyn Forst
• Kris Erickson
• Mark Begley
• Bill Van Ryn
• Paul Andolina
• Matt Frame
• Becca Panico
• Sam Panico
• Craig Edwards
• Roger Braden
• Derek Direction
• Slasher Trash
• Jesse Berberich
• Ted Lehr
• Donald Guarisco
• Robert Freese
• Gregg Harrington
• Lana Revok

ARTICLES

• Slasher Month starts
• Slasher Remakes
• Wrestling Slashers at Wrestling With Film
• The Weapons, The Hours and The Motives of Slasher Films
• The Halloween That Never Was

This weekend, after literal months of watching slashers prepping for this October’s Slasher Month event, I started thinking about each subsequent slasher as a game of Clue. To wit: How did each person get killed? What holiday or time of year killed them? And why did they get wiped out?

Francesco Mazzei’s 1972 giallo lent this piece its title: The Weapon, The Hour, The Motive. These are central to the giallo, the deadbeat dad of the slasher genre. Whereas most giallo are refined pieces of high fashion interbred with psychosexual madness and free jazz soundtracks, the slasher has no need for high couture or dashing yet doomed leads. But the killing? The killing is much the same.

Other than the Olsen twins and the Cheech and Chong movies, this is all research.

My fascination with this subject comes from my continual reading of Blake Snyder’s Save the Cat!, which is an essential guide to the tropes and story beats of scriptwriting. Nearly all horror can be placed into the “Monster In the House” category. Within this framework, the movie is always about a powerful creature intent on destroying the cast, an enclosed community into which the beast is let loose to apply his trade and a critical third element: one of the characters — or many — must sin against the villain to cause them to gain that intent. Alien is a great example, as the greed of the corporation — which flows down the line toward even the crew — is the reason why the Xenomorph gets on board the Sulaco.

I then discovered the beats of the original Halloween. The cousin of the “Monster In the House” is the idea of the “Serial Monster,” which is an individual who is a threat to the entire cast. Unlike many movies where the cast itself is the cause of the sin — the campers of Crystal Lake, the parents of Elm Street — the sin in this film would be that the staff of Smith’s Grove underestimated both Michael’s cunning and the veracity of Loomis. Notably, that same sin motivates him through the second film — which is really just the first part continued — and even The Shape’s return in part four, where the sin becomes the hospital crew again not thinking that Michael could be a threat. Hilariously, this is the very same sin that happens all over again in the 2018 reimagining, with the addition of a doctor whose sin is wanting to be just like Meyers.

As you can tell, I obsess over movies. Instead of pushing the Saves the Cat! construct on each and every slasher, I felt that it was even more intriguing — and perhaps fun for those that don’t want to learn every piece of screenwriting — to break down the slasher form into those three vital chapters. Basically, I feel that we can tear these movies apart and discover their component reasons for being, as well as why the murders within them had to happen in three simple categories:

• THE WHAT: The weapons used, or THE WEAPONS.
• THE WHEN: The date most significant to the murders, or THE HOURS
• THE REASONS: What drove someone to kill? What is their modus operandi? How is it unique, or THE MOTIVES. Location may also play a large part in this category, as well.

And it’s by no means the final word on the subject, but it’s definitely a start.

At their most basic, slasher killers rely on the most simple of weapons. Instead of the modern pistol, they favor edged cutlery such as machetes and long knives.

For example, let’s take a look at Jason Vorhees, probably the most iconic of all slashers.

Just the basics, ma’am.

While the first film doesn’t include Jason — SPOILER WARNING FOR A FORTY-YEAR-OLD MOVIE his mother is the killer in that one — the man who would become the face of slashers started things off with a simple ice pick to the brains of former final girl Alice at the start of Friday the 13th Part 2. For the first few films of the cycle, he was content with using his trademark machete and the occasional pitchfork or spear when he felt like ripping off Mario Bava’s A Bay of Blood.

Yet by the end of the series, he was using weedwhackers, party favors, his own brute strength to tear people in half and slam sleeping bags filled with sorority sisters into scarlet oaks and finally, freezing a woman’s head in liquid nitroglycerine. Give the man a break. He was in deep space.

Jason didn’t specialize. But a killer that came a few years before him began a trend of having trademark weaponry.

Do one thing. Do it well.

If you’re going to be the star of a movie entitled The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you better be an expert at your craft. Enter one Thomas Brown Hewitt — if you’re following the remake that named him — who is better known as Leatherface.

While chainsaws would also show up in films like Motel Hell and the Evil Dead series, Leatherface would be the undisputed king of the chainsaw.

Of course, the only chainsaw movie that comes close to equaling the usage of the tool would be 1982’s Pieces, a film that somehow unites the giallo and the slasher with a tagline that promises, “It’s exactly what you think it is.” Where Tobe Hooper’s artistic vision crafted a film that’s much less explicitly gory than anyone remembers — that’s the true magic, that by suggestion the film is seen as a film awash in the red stuff when it’s anything but — Juan Piquer Simón crafted a bastard film that is pornographic in its excesses. It’s as if it’s a leering devil sitting on your shoulder, whispering “You kids wanna see something really violent?”

The bastard son of a thousand bitches. Yes, that’s what they call female dogs.

Despite holding vast powers over the Dream Dimension, Freddy Krueger is infamous for the weapon that he wears throughout every one of the A Nightmare On Elm Street films — a glove with razors on each finger that earned him the title of the Springwood Slasher.

Yet by the mid-point in the series, Freddy seems more devoted to using his near-limitless powers beyond the wall of sleep. I mean, if you had the ability to make giant hands crush people and turn teenagers into human roaches that crawl into Roach Motels®, wouldn’t you do the same? Was he just using the glove-like Guy Caballero used the wheelchair? For respect?

However, by the time Freddy finally got around to facing off with Jason, he went back to glove-based murder. Was he slowing down his game in the hopes of not making Jason look bad? Was it like the old days of pro wrestling when it was real, but people still had gentlemen’s agreements not to attack hurt body parts or damage good looking faces?

Similarly, Candyman has the ability to move in and out of even waking nightmares but has that hook so handy that he just has to use it. After all, what’s the good of saying things like, “What’s blood for if not for shedding? With my hook for a hand, I’ll split you from your groin to your gullet.” if you’re not going to follow through on your threats?

Sooner or later, it’s going to be Cameron Mitchell month.

By the time of The Toolbox Murders and Nail Gun Massacre, slashers were being named for the weapon of their killer’s choice. While some killers like The Prowler and the shears-wielding slasher in The Burning stuck to one weapon for the most part, other more inventive killers diversified.

Victor Crowley, for example, might tear your jaw the whole way back just as easily as choose to deploy a gas-powered belt sander. The killer in The Mutilator favors all manner of bladed weaponry. Just look at the film’s tagline, “By sword. By pick. By axe. Bye bye.”

Where do you even get one of these?

Some killers went the extra mile and crafted their own unique weaponry. They probably didn’t care that this would allow the police to track them better, but hey — logic has no place in a slasher movie. A great example is Slumber Party Massacre II, where The Driller Killer goes all in on the musical direction of the proceedings by crafting a guitar drill. Maybe he was influenced by Frank Zappa’s “My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama.” Or perhaps what creativity he lacked in coming up with a sobriquet was made up for with this outlandish kill toy.

For just plain weird one-off weapons, here are a few of my faves:

• Black Christmas: A crystal unicorn statue
• Leprechaun: A pogo stick
• Deadly Friend: A basketball
• A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master: A pizza pie
• Halloween H2O: An ice skate
• Silent Night, Deadly Night: Deer antlers
• Silent Night, Deadly Night 2: An umbrella
• Halloween 2: A hot tub face boiling
• Intruder: A box crusher
• You’re Next: A blender
• Happy Birthday To Me: Shish-ka-bobs

While they aren’t slashers, there are also inventive weapons in Sleepwalkers (a corn cob to the back), Tenebre (this is a giallo, not a slasher, but it has insane kills and a final death by modern art), the wine rack in Waxwork and pretty much the entire Final Destination series.

If you’re looking for where the trend of slashers being set around a certain day of the year started, look no further than Halloween. Amazingly, the movie was originally going to be called The Babysitter Murders until producer Irwin Yablans suggested basing the story around a holiday. The rest is history.

While so many slashers take place on Halloween (Trick or Treats, Trick or Treat, Night of the Demons 2, 31, Clownhouse, Babysitter Massacre, The Collection, Dark Night of the Scarecrow, The Guest, Deadly Friend (which also encompasses Thanksgiving), Terrifier, all of the Halloween sequels to name a few), other holidays have been cause for stalking and killing.

Valentine’s Day: The most well-known slashers that celebrate the Festival of Saint Valentine — which in itself is a day that looks back at a martyr who was pretty much decimated like a victim in one of these films — would be 1981’s My Bloody Valentine. Remade in 2009, it tells the tale of a mining town whose romantic dance has been cursed ever since a series of murders. But these aren’t the only slashers that take place on the holiday. There’s also:

• Lover’s Lane
• Valentine
• Holidays: Which is off the table after this, as it features just about every single bank holiday in one film
• Hospital Massacre: Also known as Be My Valentine or Else…
• Happy Death Day
• Happy Death Day 2 U

April Fool’s Day: Of course, the movie April Fool’s Day would be the go-to film for April 1 slasher watching (or the 2008 remake). But it’s not the only one! There’s also:

• Killer Party
• Slaughter High
• April Fools

Father’s Day: While only The Stepfather 3 takes place on this day that celebrates fatherhood, paternal bonds and the influence of fathers in society, you could watch either the original, the sequel or the remake. There’s also the Astron-6 movie Father’s Day, which features a man seeking to stop the serial murderer known as the Father’s Day Killer. And the Eli Roth remake of Death Game, 2015’s Knock Knock, also takes place on dad’s big day.

PS — We know that Creepshow has an entire segment called “Father’s Day,” but this is all about slashers, dear reader!

Thanksgiving: We did an entire list full of gobblerific horror films, but if you don’t feel like clicking that link, they include:

• Blood Freak
• ThanksKilling
• ThanksKilling 3 (There is no ThanksKilling 2)
• Blood Rage
• Home Sweet Home — where Jake “Body By Jake” Steinfeld is the killer!
• The remake of Boogeyman
• Kristy
• Intensity
• Thanksgiving
• The Boneyard
• Amityville: A New Generation
• Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County
• Seance
• Escape Room
• Fractured
• The Last Thanksgiving
• Derelicts

Also — Blood Harvest is all about a girl that comes home from college to find her parents gone and her friends getting killed. While it’s never explicitly stated that it’s Thanksgiving, why else would she be home from college? Also — I just want more people to watch this insane movie, which features an astounding non-performance from Tiny Tim.

Mother’s Day: Not to be obvious, but Mother’s Day and its 2010 remake are the easiest ones to watch on mom’s big day. That’s all I can think of, although I think a tender script about a developmentally challenged boy and his hysterical mother would make a lot of money and perhaps even lead to several sequels. Don’t ask why — I just have a feeling.

I mean, even the worst of us still have a special spot in our hearts for mom.

New Year’s Eve (and Day): Again, go with the obvious: New Year’s Evil is a late in the game slasher that will start your next 365 days off on the right — or wrong — foot. Then there’s 1933’s Mystery In the Wax Museum, which takes place over the year change-over and inspired plenty of waxy slashers like House of Wax and The Wax Mask.

But there are plenty more! How can we forget Jamie Lee Curtis’ third slasher film Terror Train, which starts at an ill-fated December 31st party and then takes us on a David Copperfield-riding train through the winter wonderland between 1980 and 1981? There’s also…

• 2008’s The Children
• Bloody New Year
• Antisocial
• Ghostkeeper

Saint Patrick’s Day: Despite all of the films starring a leprechaun, only the second Leprechaun films specifically takes place on this holiday (thanks for the heads up to Paul Andolina). But they aren’t the only movies willing to kiss the blarney stone. There’s also:

• Maniac Cop
• Red Clover
• Much

Easter: While this holiday celebrates the death and rebirth of Jesus Christ, its traditional elements — egg hunting and the Easter Bunny — are celebrated in the secular world too.

1983’s The Being was the first Easter-timed slasher I could think of, which befits its status as a truly strange movie. There’s also the 1999 serial killer movie Resurrection, which implicitly relies on the story of Christ to present a killer trying to make a new body for the Son of Man.

As of late, numerous films have infused the slasher spirit into the time of candy, bunnies and Holy Days. They are:

• Angel of Death
• Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottonhell
• Bunnyman
• Easter Bunny Bloodbath
• Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!
• Easter Casket
• Easter Sunday
• Kottentail
• The Night Before Easter
• On the Third Day
• Rottentail
• Serial Rabbit
• Serial Rabbit 3: Splitting Hares (Obviously following the ThanksKilling naming convention of skipping the sequel)

Christmas: Take a seat. Our Letterboxd Christmas list is awash in blood and gore. And every year, it seems like more slasher Santas appear. Certainly, we’ll miss something here, but if you have to watch any of these, our top recommendations would be:

• Black Christmas: A true classic of the slasher genre that predates even Halloween, this one is worth watching all year long. You can also check out the remake, which, of course, is getting remade again.
• Christmas Evil: You owe it to yourself to watch this film every holiday season, if only to watch John Waters’ favorite Christmas movie.
• Silent Night, Deadly Night: Santa takes on nuns in the only film of this series worth taking seriously.
• Sint: The true story of Santa is that he’s a demon named Sinterklaas who must return and kill every so many holidays.
• 3615 code Père Noël: A bizarre Home Alone before that movie was even made, where a French child and his grandfather face off with a knife-wielding maniac.

You can also watch:

• All Through the House
• Better Watch Out
• Deadly Little Christmas
• Don’t Open Till Christmas
• The Gingerdead Man
• Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust
• Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver
• Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong
• Jack Frost
• Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman
• Last Stop on the Night Train
• Santa’s Slay
• Silent Night, Bloody Night
• The other four Silent Night, Deadly Night films and the remake Silent Night
• To All a Goodnight: Directed by Last House on the Left star David Hess!

Honestly, I’ve probably missed a hundred Santa-based slashers that people are going to give me grief about. Feel free to do that in the comments below. And for even more movies ready to upset the entire family on this blessed night, may we recommend our 10 Movies That Ruin Christmas list?

BIRTHDAYS: Happy Birthday To Me, anyone? Bloody Birthday? Even Happy Death Day and Happy Death Day 2 U can be considered movies where slashings occur near a birthday.

The granddaddy of all movies where birthdays are a reason for murder? Friday the 13th. Just remember Pamela Vorhees’ great line: “You see, Jason was my son, and today is his birthday.” In case you wondered, Jason’s actual birthday is June 13, 1946.

There’s also a birthday element to the magically bonkers slasher Madhouse, AKA There Was a Little Girl that echoes plenty of the ending of the aforementioned Canuxploitation film Happy Birthday To Me. However, the surprise birthday party at the end of this film isn’t one that you’d ever want to attend.

• American Gothic: Fanny’s birthday party is a big part of this slice of homespun stalk and slash.
• The Banana Splits Movie: A birthday party gone wrong, a TV show canceled and beloved animal characters gone murderously viral.
• Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker: Billy’s seventeenth birthday is the catalyst for his aunt’s growing mania and increased willingness to kill.
• Child’s Play: Chucky is was, after all, a birthday gift for Alex.
• Drive-Thru: The demonic mascot of Hella-Burger, Horny the Clown, becomes real and hacks his way through customers. You know those people that throw fast food birthday parties for their kids? Here’s where they pay.
• Fear No Evil: On the 18th birthday of this film’s antagonist, his evil powers finally arrive, paralyzing his mother and turning his father into a drunk.
• Leprechaun 2: This one is all about the Leprechaun’s 1000th birthday.
• The Mutilator: A birthday gift — cleaning dad’s guns — goes wrong, leading to the creation of the slasher in this film.
• My Soul to Take: A serial killer comes home and stalks the seven kids who were born on the day that he died.
• My Super Psycho Sweet 16: MTV made an entire series of these movies.
• Red Velvet: A killer attends a birthday party.
• Spookies: While not really a slasher, I honestly have no idea what this movie is. That’s probably why I love it so much. It also has a birthday party that goes absolutely nowhere, which means I had to include it on this list.
• Stitches: A clown is killed at a birthday party and returns for revenge.
• Sweet Sixteen: As Melissa Morgan’s sixteenth birthday comes closer, so does more death for everyone around her.

Of course, if we were discussing birthday parties in horror films, we’d have to get into the strange annual celebrations in The Visitor, Amityville II: The Possession and — perhaps the worst birthday party of all — The Omen.

Jezebel the cat’s birthday in The Sentinel! Black and white cat! Black and white cake!

And for a bit of trivia, the top secret codename title for Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood was Birthday Bash.

Important Personal Anniversaries: As Large Marge would say in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, “On this very night, ten years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this…”

Plenty of slashers are based on anniversaries and things coming back to haunt people. The best example that I can think of is The Prowler, a movie whose titular killer waits for the anniversary of when a Dear John letter sent a WW II soldier into a pitchfork stabbing meltdown. This is different than just a holiday — this is a set day that has vast personal meaning to that person.

Yet at their heart, aren’t most slashers about a moment in time and in a certain place that the killer must protect or go back to? Why does the Shape come home on Halloween night? Why does Jason prowl the woods year after year? Why does a Prom Night always end with blood, murder and sometimes, fire (to say nothing of school-based slashers like Horror High, Return to Horror High, Graduation Day, Detention, The Loved Ones, Student Bodies, Cutting Class, Tragedy Girls…I could go on and probably will).

What are the raison d’être for these masked killing machines, these scarred men and women that can only be sated by wiping out everyone in their path? There are several reasons, reasons which may only make sense to the killers themselves.

I’ve taken the 679 slasher films — so far, we’re adding more every day — that we’ve covered so far and broken them down to some very simple motives, classified by the killer’s name. Certainly, we can’t cover them all here, but this shortlist will give you a flavor of how we can break down the motivations behind the malice.

Michael Meyers (RETURNING TO HOME, MENTAL ISSUES, POSSESSION, MURDERS BASED AROUND A CALENDAR DATE): The Shape — the man with the darkest eyes — is either a normal killer (the first movie), an unstoppable force of nature (almost all the others) or a pawn in the schemes of a cult of powerful people (the infinitely strange and somewhat fascinating sixth installment). Alternatively, he’s the guy who Buster Rhymes spin kicked, but we shall never discuss that in these parts again.

As Michael evolves across the myriad of movies and retcons in his screen career, the one thing that holds true is that he was once a normal six-year-old who was compelled to kill his teenage sister Judith. After more than a decade in Smith’s Grove Sanitarium — and despite the best efforts of Dr. Sam Loomis — he would return to his hometown of Haddonfield, Illinois to try to repeat that crime with his sister. Never mind that this wasn’t even an idea when the first film was made. That’s what makes the original so frightening — all of these weapons, hours and motives are pointless. The Shape exists merely to destroy for no reason. That’s perhaps the most frightening thing of all.

Jason Vorhees (REVENGE, PROTECTING HIS TERRITORY): While Jason’s killing spree begins as a need for revenge — both for the death of his mother and his own negligent drowning death — by the last films in the cycle, Jason is mainly a territorial slasher — much like killers in Just Before Dawn and Madman. Stay off his lawn, kids!

That said — some of Jason’s idea of protecting his land falls into killing anyone who has sex in his woods or takes any substances, whether that’s drinking or drugs, within them. You could say that this endorses a puritanical worldview, but my theory has always been that Mr. Vorhees lives in a state of suspended pre-puberty, realizing that he’ll never have a true sexual awakening or get to experience the life that these partying campers are enjoying, so he must snuff it out.

Freddy Krueger (REVENGE, SHOW OFF, I JUST LOVE TO KILL KIDS): Freddy’s original hack and slash through the Dream World began to gain revenge on the children of the parents who burned him alive for being the Springwood Slasher, ie the sin that creates this serial monster that menaces the casts of numerous films. Again, by the time the movies grew bigger and wider in scope, it seemed as if Freddy’s primary need was to gain the approval of the audience, tossing Roger Moore-like one-liners and using his dream abilities to cause all manner of increasingly ridiculous death sequences.

Leatherface (SURVIVAL, CONFUSION): Leatherface’s way of life is changing, as parts of Texas move away from the rural South and become metropolitan cities. Whereas once the meat was necessary for sustenance and even commerce — see also Farmer Vincent in Motel Hell — now this killer is slowly becoming a stranger in a strange land. Also, he’s continually at odds with his identity, using the various skin masks that he creates to show his mood to the uncaring world.

These are some of the more well-known killers in slasher films. But what if we go a little deeper and discover a character that didn’t appear in numerous films? What if they were in a proto-slasher, crafted before the genre had locked itself into rigid conventions?

Billy in Black Christmas (HATRED OF WOMEN, CHAOS): Whereas I’ve played off the misogyny inherent in slashers before, Billy’s killing is totally focused on killing women. The original remake — what a term! — may have shown us that his mother was the reason behind all of this. But the first film doesn’t have time for the why, all Billy is about is sowing chaos, from making sorority sisters disappear and sending worried fathers into the cold Canadian night to obscene phone calls that can no longer just be laughed off.

REVENGE is often the biggest motivator for a slasher villain. Mall developers destroy Eric’s home and think they kill him, but he rises from the ashes and wipes them all out in Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge. In Uncle Sam — much like Bill Lustig’s Maniac Cop films — a servant of the established order that may have taken things too far is destroyed by the very society that he has served for so long, so he must rise from his grave — nay, break right out of the coffin in the cases of Master Sergeant Sam Harper and Officer Matthew Cordell. 

I WANT YOU BACK is another intriguing slasher reason to be. For example, in the sadly neglected Bad Dreams, Harris simply wants Cynthia to have burned along with the rest of the believers in the Unity Fields cult. If he has to wipe out everyone close to her to make that happen, so be it.

There’s also the BUT I HELPED YOU trope. That’s where a hapless reject has turned to the dark side and suddenly realizes that everything has spun out of control. The best example I can think of is Sammi Curr in Trick or Treat, who returns from the dead thanks to backmasking and the occult, proving every televangelist correct. Curr helps the hero, Ragman, in his quest to defeat the bullies and get the girl, but our protagonist’s sin that releases the monster is that he relied on something much more sinister and smarter than himself to do so. For another example, Christine allows Arnie Cunningham to stand up to the nerds and win over his dream girl, Leigh. But it costs him everything to do so. It’s very similar to a pact with the devil.

I’m continually developing new slasher motives, from I HAD A MESSED UP CHILDHOOD which informs Pieces to EVERYTHING YOU KNEW WAS A LIE which translates to the fact that Santa Claus could be a killing machine, as shown to us in movies like Santa’s Slay and Sint.

There are also the motives that are in itself necessary of a spoiler warning: THE BIG BAD FAMILY SECRET and I’M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. 

Both of these motives directly unite the slasher with their Italian cousin, the giallo. The endings of giallo like Deep Red and The Bloodstained Shadow are the result of a long-withheld or forgotten family secret. Slashers that follow that formula include Happy Birthday to Me and Madhouse and even the original Prom Night.

When it comes to mistaken identity — including gender identity — look no further than Sleepaway Camp. It’s not a far jump from the mistaken theory of who the killer is at the open of The Bird With the Crystal Plumage, where surely the killer must be a man, to a movie where surely the killer can’t be a sweet and innocent girl — who perhaps may not even be a girl at all.

I’m constantly coming up with new names for these conventions and discovering that they tie together numerous genre films. For example, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS covers movies as diverse as Carrie, Fade to Black, Evilspeak and The Toxic Avenger. They invite us to empathize with their protagonists and even become complicit in their crimes as they rise up and become monsters. This is different than the REVENGE subgenre, as we actually see the sins of the true bad guys being visited upon the hero and hope that they fight back.

A close relative of this would be YOU KIDS HAVE IT COMING. In so many slashers, this is the Scooby-Doo like reason why the killer is who they are. Again, this is a reason that spoils a movie like Nightmare Beach, as well as the original Friday the 13th.

Thanks for making it through all nearly 5,000 words of this. I find this exercise endlessly fascinating and I hope you do too. If you have some weapons, hours and motives I haven’t mentioned, send them my way in the style of Clue! I’m excited to see if folks play along, so here’s an example:

If there’s one thing Hollywood can’t get enough of, it’s mining the past to try and one-up what has come before. With the resurgence of the slasher after 1996’s Scream as well as a world where teenagers riled the box office, all manner of once-dormant properties now had a new lease on life. The only difference is that now, most of the grisly carnage would be achieved via computer-aided effects.

It’s a rough assignment remaking a movie that is beloved by a fanbase. No matter what you do, someone isn’t going to be happy. If you’re too slavishly devoted to the source material, why even remake it? If you go too far from it, why would you even call it a remake? That’s when the reimagining word started getting used, as modern directors had their own spin on how to retell the mythos that we’d grow to know and love, whether it was in the theater, the drive-in or via video.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) remade as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

This was the first film produced by Platinum Dunes, who would go on to produce remakes of several other 20th-century horror films. Most of them are on the list that follows. For this remake, they brought Marcus Naspiel, a music video director, on board. Original plans would have had the story told in flashback from original actress Marilyn Burns reprising her role as Sally Hardesty and that Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel would be writing the script. None of this happened.

To his credit, Nispel was against the idea of remaking the film, saying that it was blasphemy to director of photography Daniel Pearl, who was the original cameraman for the 1974 classic and this movie. Pearl encouraged Nispel to join the project, however, as his goal was to bookend his career with the remake. The result? A glossy, gory and louder version of the first film, which does more with mood and menace than with shoving any blood into your face. A prequel,  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, would follow in 2006.

Friday the 13th (1980) remade as Friday the 13th (2009)

Naspiel directed this reimagining — there’s that word — of the first four films in the franchise. Jason would go from a hulking beast of a killer to a trap and weapon using mastermind out to wipe out a cabin full of rich kids, set to MTV tunes and quick cuts. Your mileage may vary on this one, but the fact is that it’s the second most profitable film in the entire franchise. Then again, that may be less of a sign of quality and more that people really missed seeing Jason on the silver screen.

Prom Night (1980) remade as Prom Night (2008)

This Nelson McCormick film — he also directed the 2009 remake of The Stepfather — is another reimagining of the source material. This one is all about Donna Keppel, a high school student who is pursued by the teacher who killed her entire family to get closer to her. When he’s released three years later, the horror begins all over again. Surprisingly — actually, I shouldn’t say that because slashers always end up shocking people by making good money — it debuted at #1 at the U.S. box office.

My Bloody Valentine (1981) remade as My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Patrick Lussier edited nearly every one of director Wes Craven’s later films, including Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, Vampire in Brooklyn and the Scream series. He started directing with The Prophecy 3: The Ascent before co-writing and directing Dracula 2000. He also took over the Halloween series from Rob Zombie and when the third film was canceled, then moved on to direct Drive Angry. This remake was shot all around the Pittsburgh area, in towns like Kittanning, Ford City, Bethel, Tarentum, Oakmont and Ross Township. Speaking of Pittsburgh, one of our favorite sons, Tom Atkins, shows up in this, one of the few remakes that’s compared somewhat favorably to the source material.

When A Stranger Calls (1979) remade as When A Stranger Calls (2006)

The first twenty minutes of the original — based on the urban legend of “The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs” and cribbed from Black Christmas — was so influential that Scream completely ripped it off. The remake is pretty much that twenty minutes stretched out over the film’s entire running time. It was directed by Simon West, who directed Con Air and the remake of The Mechanic.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) remade as Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

When people discuss remakes that they hate, this one always comes up on the list. It does start with an intriguing premise: Perhaps Freddy Krueger wasn’t the Springwood Slasher and the parents killed the wrong man. That storyline is instantly proven false and the film soon falls into a by the numbers remake of the original films that makes you wistful for Robert Englund. That’s the danger of remaking a movie with a character — and actor — that people love so much. After this movie caused such a backlash, Platinum Dunes never attempted another remake.

April Fool’s Day (1986) remade as April Fool’s Day (2008)

The Butcher Brothers were behind the film The Hamiltons and were given the opportunity to create this direct to video remake of this Canuxploitation slasher. That said, the original isn’t well-known to the general public and slasher fans mostly hated this reimagining — that word again — so I have no idea who this movie is really for.

Child’s Play (1988) remade as Child’s Play (2019)

Perhaps seven movies of continuity weren’t enough for Chucky’s fans, who pretty much turned away from the attempted remake in droves. Then again, negative kudos to the studios for releasing it at the same time as another killer doll film, 2019’s Annabelle Comes Home. Original creator Don Mancini has a TV series remake under development while a fan film entitled Charles is also due for release. As for me, I didn’t mind the remake, but I had no real ties to the source material.

Halloween (1978) remade as Halloween (2007)

Boy, talk about divisive. There is a camp that adores everything that Rob Zombie has ever made and feels that his take on The Shape and Haddonfield is perfectly awesome. Then there are those that were perfectly fine with the first two John Carpenter films and see any attempt at remaking them as blasphemy. It’s kind of like never discussing politics or religion, because whenever someone gushes about these films, I pretty much instantly think less of them. Except for that wacky part with the dream horse that felt like it ran straight out of The NeverEnding Story. That was kind of hilarious.

Black Christmas (1974) remade as Black X-mas (2006) and then about to be remade as Black Christmas (2019)

A wise man once sang, “Only love can break your heart.” Well, if you’re a fan of this proto-slasher piece of Canadian holiday insanity, you may disagree. The 2006 remake is the kind of glossy mid 00’s film that people say, “It’s not that bad” about. Sure, fine. But when you’re trying to remake what is perhaps one of the most note perfect slashers, you expect more. I’m refraining from commenting on this year’s upcoming remake — honestly, I desperately want to shit all over it, but I’m giving it a chance — until I see it.

Death Game (also known as The Seducers, made in 1977) was remade as Vicious and Nude (1980) and Knock Knock (2015)

Much of the principal cast and crew of the original film all participated in the remake, with Peter S. Traynor, Larry Spiegel, Sondra Locke and Colleen Camp (who also shows up in a cameo) are all credited as executive producers. Plus, director Eli Roth credited Anthony Overman and Michael Ronald Ross for their story.

As for the earlier Spanish remake, as you’d expect with a title like that, the sex scenes are a lot more explicit, as is the violence. PS — this is yet another film “based on true events” and if you’d like to argue if it’s a slasher or a home invasion story, you should probably save that for the next entry on our list.

The Last House On the Left (1972) was remade as The Last House On the Left (1972)

Pretty much the ultimate home invasion movie is Wes Craven’s debut. Well, he produced this one, which interested him as he wanted to see if a larger budget would lead to a better film. The original script was rejected because it had some supernatural elements and director Dennis Iliadis (Hardcore, Delirium) sought to avoid turning this into torture porn. It basically does what every remake does — make it louder, have sexier actors and make it gorier, if not better. Garret Dillahunt (he plays John Dorie from Fear the Walking Dead) had the hapless task of taking over the role of Krug from Davis Hess, who pretty much replayed that role in Ruggero Deodato’s The House On the Edge of the Park. Ah, the whole thing is kinda sorta a remake of The Virgin Spring anyway, right?

Maniac (1980) remade as Maniac (2012)

Elijah Wood is a big fan of grindhouse movies, so maybe we should cut him some slack. After all, the 2012 retelling was a critical darling, told from the killer’s POV nearly the entire film, putting the audience into the actual eyes of the titular maniac, Frank Zito. On the other hand, why not just make a new film inspired by the Bill Lustig movie? Why try when Joe Spinell and Tom Savini united to craft utter perfection? Oh, I get it. Alexandre Aja — the reimagining king — wrote this.

Mother’s Day (1980) remade as Mother’s Day (2010)

Call it a reimagining. Call it a loose remake. Call it a movie I haven’t watched yet because I love the original so much. Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman — who created the Saw movies and Repo! The Genetic Opera — this film stars Rebecca De Mornay as Natalie “Mother” Koffin, who has three children that she manipulates and coerces to help her get what she wants. There’s no Queenie waiting in the woods and this is more of a home invasion film.

See No Evil (1971, also known as Blind Terror) remade as See No Evil (2006)

The original may be a take on Wait Until Dark with Mia Farrow as the blind lead, but the remake — the first major film produced by WWE Films — is a straight-up slasher. It was directed by Gregory Dark, who was one half of the infamous adult video moviemaking team The Dark Brothers. Instead of frail Mia, its star is WWE wrestler Kane, who has gone on to become the mayor of Knox County, Tennessee. It was written by Dan Madigan, the man who pitched this idea to WWE owner Vince McMahon: Jon Heidenreich would be the perfect person to play a cryogenically frozen Nazi stormtrooper named Baron Von Bava. He’d be unfrozen by Paul Heyman, a manager who in real life is Jewish and whose mother survived the Holocaust. McMahon was so stunned by the idea that he walked out of his board room and didn’t return. Madigan left WWE later that year.

Long Weekend (1978) remade as Nature’s Grave (2008)

Oh Australia — the only place that could make two movies where nature itself becomes the slasher and wipes out an unhappy couple. Bonus points for the sequel getting Robert Taylor and Roger Ward in the movie, as they were both in Turkey Shoot (Taylor was Ramrod in the remake, Ward was Ritter in the original).

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) remade as Silent Night (2012)

At least the sequel had a decent cast — Malcolm McDowell (who not only took over Donald Pleasence’s role in the Halloween remakes but seemingly inherited his inability to say no to any role), Jaime King, Donal Logue, Ellen Wing (Knives Chau!), Courtney Palm (Sushi Girl) and Lisa Marie. It’s actually received pretty decent reviews but the original is so stuck in my memory, I’m not too excited to try a brand new take.

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972) remade as Silent Night, Bloody Night: The Homecoming (2013)

Adrienne King — Alice Hardy from the first two Friday the 13th movies — plays a mysterious voice in the remake of this strange movie. These same people also took another public domain movie — it’s called Night of the Living Dead, you may have heard of it — and shat all over it, releasing Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection. Starburst said of the film, ” remember that once you’ve watched the film itself you will never get back the seventy-eight minutes of your life you wasted on it.”

The House on Sorority Row (1983) remade as Sorority Row (2009)

This reimagining was shot about two miles from my house in Munhall, one block from the Carnegie Library of Homestead. The graduation scene was shot outside of Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood, where the cage scenes in Silence of the Lambs was also filmed. Instead of the girls being responsible for the death of their house mother, in this one they’re being stalked due to the death of one of their fellow sisters.

Toolbox Murders (1978) remade as The Toolbox Murders (2004)

This may be the only slasher remake that has a more well-regarded director helming the second film that the first. The sequel adds a supernatural element, as well as a killer named Coffin Baby. Again, this whole thing is weird, because the 1978 movie went all out to rip off Hooper’s Chainsaw. Here’s a little slasher trivia at least: Eugene, the character in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon who mentors the killer, is responsible for the murders in the first film and Black Christmas.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) remade as The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

If there’s one movie on this list that can compete with its inspiration — if not improve it in some measures — this would be it. Perhaps it’s because I can’t get enough of the Phantom Killer. Or perhaps it’s just because the second one is a meta-fueled exercise in brutality. Either way, it’s my pick for the best remake on this list.

The Wizard of Gore (1970) remade as The Wizard of Gore (2007)

This Herschell Gordon Lewis gutbuster was remade with Suicide Girls, Crispin Glover and Jeffrey Combs and I still haven’t seen it. Such is my allegiance to the American Godfather of Gore.

Two Thousand Maniacs! (1963) remade as 2001 Maniacs (2005)

No. Just no. Even someone with taste as bad as mine — my collection of Claudio Fragrasso films is in the double digits — won’t watch this movie. Eli Roth was involved, as well as Robert Englund and Lin Shaye. None of these things make me want to watch a single moment of this, nor its sequel 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams (even if Bill Bill Moseley and Ogre from Skinny Puppy are in it).

Psycho (1960) refilmed shot by shot as Psycho (1998)

Psycho may not be a true slasher, but it gave inspiration to so many of the films within that genre. Gus Van Sant made waves when he decided to remake the film by aping every single shot that Hitchcock had already filmed. Then again, they added in some gore and dream sequences along the way. This movie won Worst Remake and Worst Director in that year’s Golden Raspberry Awards. That said, Quentin Tarantino — and my wife — have gone on record with their love for this movie.

There’s also Psychos, which is a mashup of Alfred Hitchcock and Gus Van Sant’s films — both in black and white — that was posted on director Steven Soderbergh’s Extension 765 website.

Anthropophagous (1980) remade as Anthropophagous 2000 (1999)

I haven’t seen the remake of this film, but reviewers said that director Andreas Schnaas lacked the directorial skill of Joe D’Amato. So…you kind of see where this is going, right? At least this movie amps up the blood and gore, I guess.

Terror Train (1980) was NOT remade as Train (2008)

While this Hostel-inspired, Thora Birch-starring film was originally a remake of the Jamie Lee Curtis slasher classic, it eventually changed into its own movie about an organ harvesting train. The only thing they have in common is that there’s a train in movie.

While not a slasher, House of Wax (1953) was remade into one — House of Wax (2005)

The creators of this remake took the Vincent Price-starring classic and created a vehicle for what everyone in the nascent world of social media wanted to see most: Paris Hilton horribly murdered. There are also tons of dead animals and a decent ending as the house melts down, but it’s pretty much a skippable affair.

Did we miss any? What’s your favorite slasher remake? Do nearly all of these remakes suck or is that just me being negative? No matter what, remakes aren’t going away, with the long rumored Alice, Sweet Alice remake still being talked about, as well as a recreated Wrong Turn, a reboot of Madman, a LeBron James-led Friday the 13th reboot, the HBO Maniac Cop series that was just announced, a Chris Rock-helmed Saw and Jordan Peele’s take on Candyman. Share your thoughts in the comments.

We haven’t had a Friday the 13th movie for more than a decade. Then again, if 2009’s glossy Marcus Nispel-directed Friday the 13th reboot is any indication of the kind of films we’d be suffering through, perhaps it’s not such a bad thing that the lawsuit between Horror Inc. and the Manny Company versus Victor Miller has dragged on.

Jason’s been everywhere, from Crystal Lake to Manhattan, Elm Street and outer space. Yet there are some places that filmmakers had planned to take him that he never got to. Here are just a few of them.

Jason in an insane asylum: Ginny Field (Amy Steel) may have been the final girl in the first film, but when she opted to no return for the sequel, she was killed off right at the start of the second movie. I have no idea why they’d ask her back for this planned third take on the Jason mythos, where Jason would hunt her down as she rested in a psychiatric hospital. Seeing as how Halloween 2 had a very similar slasher in a hospital scenario just a year before, perhaps it’s a good thing that this was never made.

A bonkers take on Freddy vs. Jason: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives writer/director Tommy McLoughlin pitched an idea for this major crossover that would have never had the two characters even in the film. Instead, they would have existed solely in the heads of two mental patients. I can only imagine how upset audiences would have been with this film. McLoughlin also pitched a Cheech and Chong crossover at Crystal Lake that never happened, either.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. ?: After the success of Freddy vs. Jason — which for some reason surprised Hollywood — there were sequels planned with Ash from Evil Dead, Pinhead from Hellraiser and Michael Myers from Halloween. Seeing as how any time multiple studios work together things never happen, the fact that these movies never happened makes total sense. It’s still a shame, particularly today when so many of these licenses remain somewhat dormant.

Not Jason, Tommy: After the death of Jason in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Paramount wanted to live up to their stipulations that Jason wasn’t coming back. That’s why part 5 has Roy Burns as the killer. Seeing as how man fans loved that — not at all, thank you very much — they would have hated the planned follow-up, where Tommy Jarvis would have donned the mask and spent the entire movie hunting his girlfriend Pam.

Certainly, one of these sequels to the 2009 reboot will be made: In the months and years after this relaunch, there were all manner of planned follow-ups, including Jason killing people in the winter (which had the unwieldy title of Friday the 13th: Camp Blood – The Death of Jason Voorhees), a found footage version that would answer why Jason can’t be killed, a TV series where Jason was real and filmmakers had exploited the legend that would explore the teens that grew up there (think Riverdale with machetes, I guess). There was even a pitch that would follow Jason’s childhood and how his mental connection with his mother led to him guiding her in the first film before he came back to life to get revenge for her death.

Another reboot?: A Friday the 13th movie almost made it to the big screen on October 13, 2017. However, Paramount pulled it from the schedule and replaced it with Darren Aronofksy’s mother!, which hardly seems fair. Platinum Dunes was set to produce and Breck Eisner (Sahara and the remake of The Crazies) was scheduled to direct before the plug got pulled. Producer Brad Fuller teased in interviews that this movie would have a new origin story for Jason before later claiming that the film would be an alternate reality version of the mythos. There were even rumors that the movie would start with a sack wearing killer offing teens, only to be revealed as Jason’s father Elias Vorhees. Aaron Guzikowski (Prisoners) worked on the script, casting had been started and then…that was that. One rumor was that the movie was canceled because of the poor box office for Rings.

Even the game has canceled DLC: The Friday the 13th video game looked to mark a celebration of the movies, even if they weren’t in theaters, bringing together many of the film’s creators to make something new. IllFonic were originally working on a game called Slasher Vol. 1: Summer Camp, which was set in Camp Forest Green, before Sean Cunningham met with them and the game became an official Friday the 13th licensed product. Harry Manfredini composed new music, Tom Savini designed new kills and Kane Hodder did the motion capture for Jason. Even several of the actors in the films, like Thom Mathews (Tommy Jarvis) and Larry Zerner (Sheldon “Shelly” Finkelstein) appeared.

There were even collectible tapes in the game that added to the universe of the films. The Pamela Voorhees Tapes were written by Tom McLoughlin and the Tommy Jarvis Tapes by Adam Green (Hatchet) tie Tommy to A Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween, Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon, Hatchet and Shocker.

Sadly, the lawsuit kept constant DLC from adding to the game, including the cyborg Jason, a map for the spaceship Grendel and more kills. That said, Black Tower took over as the developers of the game and a Switch version, Friday the 13th: The Game Ultimate Slasher Edition, was released in August of 2019.

Forty years later: 2020 will be the 40th anniversary of this slasher series, with two dates on the calendar — Friday, March 13 and Friday, November 13 — perfect for a new film. Here’s hoping that it finally happens, but seeing as how nothing has started filming yet, the chances look about as good as a fat camp kid at Crystal Lake.

Did we miss anything? Get something wrong? How would you remake these films? Let us know in the comments!

Want to learn more about Friday the 13th? Check out our multi-part review of the entire series and more:

• Part 1: The first three films
• Part 2: The final chapter to Jason Lives
• Part 3: New Blood, New York and the final Friday
• Part 4: Jason X, Freddy and the reboot
• Part 5: Books, comics, TV shows and video games

We’ve also written articles on Unmasked Part 25, a quasi-sequel to the films, and various Jason characters in pro wrestling.

We’ve already covered the Section 1 video nasties that were prosecuted and the Section 2 non-prosecuted movies, but now we’re in new territory.

The section 3 video nasties couldn’t be prosecuted for obscenity but were liable to be seized and confiscated under a less obscene charge. Any video tapes seized on the Section 3 list could be destroyed after distributors or merchants forfeited them. Ah the UK, where rights be damned, right?

Here are the 82 video nasties that make up the section 3 films:

1. Schoolgirls in Chains: A mother encourages two sons to kidnap young women and chain them up in the basement, where they are subject to games that grow more and more depraved in this film directed by Don Jones (Who Killed Cock Robin?, Sweater Girls) and shot by Ron Garcia, who would go on to work on films like Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me and direct The Toy Box. You can grab this from Ronin Flix.

2. The Aftermath: A post-apocalyptic film starring its director, producer and writer, Steve Barkett, as well as his son Charles, this film is all about astornauts who return to Earth just in time to discover the end of the world. Look for Forrest J. Ackerman, Sid Haig and Lynne Margulies — yes, the girlfriend of Andy Kaufman — in this one. You can get the VCI blu ray from Diabolik DVD.

3. The Black Room: This Norman Thaddeus Vane and Elly Kenner co-directed film has Linnea Quigley in a small role. The Alamo Drafthouse noted that the film “eerily occupies the brief period in American genre films following the close of the swinging 1970s but predating the AIDS and crack/cocaine epidemics of the ’80s. From its lingering shots of hypodermic needles and blood coursing through transfusion tubes into track-scarred arms to its fascination with voyeurism, promiscuity and gratification, it’s definitely a film ahead of its time.”

4. Bloodlust: This 1977 Eurohorror film —  by way of Switzerland — is based on the macabre true story of Kuno Hofmann, the “Vampire of Nuremberg.” I’d compare it to Martin, as it aspires to be a grown up version of a fairytale. You can grab it from Mondo Macabro.

5. Blood Song: A crippled young woman — played by Donna Wilkes (Angel!) living in a coastal Oregon town is stalked by a hatchet-wielding psychopath from whom she once received a blood transfusion. Sound scary? What if I told you that that maniac was played by Frankie Avalon?

6. Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll: A Paul Naschy starred and co-written affair, this movie may be better known as House of Psychotic Women. This giallo affair is packed with the requisite blood and mayhem, as is befitting of the genre, as well as the song “Frere Jacques” played ala free jazz, which is perhaps less expected. It’s available as part of Shout! Factory’s The Paul Naschy Collection set.

7. Brutes and Savages: It’s shocking how few mondo movies made it on the video nasty lists. This one mixes authentic footage with incredibly exploitive re-enactments, including animal sacrifices, mating rituals, bizarre tribal ceremonies and even brain surgery. If that’s not enough, Riz Ortolani did the soundtrack. You can get this from Diabolik DVD.

8. Cannibal: When it comes to cannibal cinema, Ruggero Deodato pretty much cemented the genre with his 1980 release Cannibal Holocaust. This is where he cut his teeth on the human flesh eating film, bringing along Me Me Lai, Ivan Rassimov and Massimo Foschi, the Italian voice of Darth Vader. You can get the Jungle Holocaust version of this film from Ronin Flix.

9. Cannibals: Jess Franco, nearly the patron saint of video nasties, is back on the list with this cannibal grossout also known as Mondo Cannibale, Cannibal World, The Cannibals, A Woman for the Cannibals and Barbarian Goddess. It stars Al Cliver (The Beyond) and Sabrina Siani, who would go on to be in Conquest and The Throne of Fire. Franco said that he did this movie and Devil Hunter for the money and had no idea why anyone would enjoy these films, going further to say that Siani was the worst actress that he ever worked with and that her only good quality was her “delectable derrière.” You can get it from Blue Underground.

10. The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith: This critically acclaimed Australian film about an aborigine man pushed to the brink somehow ended up on a list packed with slashers and cannibals. Life’s funny like that. You can get this from Kino Lorber.

11. The Child: Part of Arrow Video’s American Horror Project Volume 2, this is one of the stranger films you’ll ever come across. It’s about a young girl who communicates with the dead in a cemetery near her home and gets them to do things for her. This is an incredibly simplistic explanation of a movie that is pure insanity. My words can’t do it justice. You must see it for yourself.

12. Christmas Evil: John Waters said of this film, “I wish I had kids. I’d make them watch it every year and if they didn’t like it, they’d be punished.” I can see why this movie ended up on this list. I’m completely in love with this strange little movie, which has one of the best endings ever. You can get it from Vinegar Syndrome, complete with a commentary track by director Lewis Jackson and Waters.

13. Communion: Better known as Alice, Sweet Alice, this is one of my favorite films of all time. I watched it absolutely destroy an entire movie theater earlier this year, which is proof that this movie has not mellowed with age. Even better, Arrow Video has finally released this on blu ray, so a whole new generation can be upset by it. I’d compare it favorably to giallo, but it’s really it’s own unique and uncategorizable movie.

14. Dawn of the Dead: George Romero’s 1978 zombie opus is quite literally the zombie film. For my money, there’s never been a better one before or since. Perhaps I’m biased, as it takes place miles from my house. But it’s combination of Tom Savini effects, Goblin synths and the input of Dario Argento — as well as equal parts social commentary and slapstick humor — make this one of my favorite films of all time. Diabolik DVD has the Umbrella Ultimate Edition and a 4K Italian box set of the film.

15. Dawn of the Mummy: Frank Agrama directed this film, The Godfather’s Friend and Queen Kong before starting Harmony Gold. Yes, the people who brought Macross, Southern Cross and Genesis Climber Mospeda to the US and turned them into Robotech. He’d later be convicted of buying and selling film rights at inflated prices and would have gone to jail if he wasn’t 82 years old. That said, he was exonerated in a 2016 appeal.

In this one, the mummies are much closer to zombies and there’s plenty of gore — nearly 90 seconds worth was cut in the UK — but I can’t find a copy of this for sale. However, it was remade as Prisoners of the Sun in 2013.

16. Strange Behavior: While this film is set in Galesburg, Illinois, it was really shot in Auckland, New Zealand. Packed with multiple killers, a Tor Johnson mask and plenty of programmed murder, it was finally released with around 27 seconds of offending footage removed. You can still grab it under its alternate title at Vinegar Syndrome, who have the out of print Severin blu ray. Or watch it on Shudder.

17. Death Weekend: Also known as The House by the Lake, the only place I’ve seen sell this for sale on DVD is the Swedish media book that came out in 2017, which Diabolik DVD had, but they’re fresh out. This American-International Pictures film caused quite the stir with how intense its violence is, but it still played UK cinemas uncut.

18. Deep Red: This Argento giallo classic never played UK theaters but was released in 1993 by Redemption with 11 seconds cut, which was footage of two dogs fighting and a live lizard impaled on a pin. Curiously, the original Italian version is 126 minutes long, but the version we got in the US removed 22 minutes’ worth of footage, including most of the graphic violence, all of the humor and romance, and a subplot about the screaming child. It has since been released uncut, with Arrow Video recently putting out an absolutely perfect edition of the film. You can also get it from Blue Underground.

19. Demented: Although never classed as an official UK video nasty — hence it being on this list — the film was one of the many movies Mary Whitehouse showed to the Conservative Party during their 1984 conference. Apex released it in 1987 with more than one minute of BBFC cuts. Perhaps even more puritanically, 20th Century Fox refused to distribute this movie because porn star Harry Reems is the male lead. It was written by Alex Rebar, who was also the star of The Incredible Melting Man and the writer of the David Hess-directed To All a Goodnight. You can grab it from Shout! Factory‘s Scream Factory collection.

20. Les Demons: Jess Franco, welcome back to the video nasty list. I mean, did you expect a movie about nuns becoming possessed by Satan and then being tortured in a dungeon to not make the cut? And hey, if it’s also totally a ripoff of Ken Russell’s The Devils, why not? You can get the Nucleus UK import of this at DIabolik DVD.

21. Don’t Answer the Phone: A Vietnam vet bodybuilding porn photographer is loose in LA, strangling young women and then using their dead bodies for his pleasure. Leonard Maltin hated this movie so much that he asked his viewers, “Don’t see this movie!” Screw him — how can you not love a film that ends with the heroine basically snarling, “Adios, creep!” You can get this from Vinegar Syndrome.

22. Eaten Alive!: Umberto Lenzi was made for the video nasty list. Never mind that this film is a remix of Jungle Holocaust, The Man from Deep River and Mountain of the Cannibal God. It demanded to be on this list just from its title. Then when you add scenes of monkeys being devoured and plenty of Jonestown influence and well, won’t someone think of the children? You know who does? Severin, who of course have released a pristine and extras filled blu ray of this.

23. Enter the Devil: No, not the amazing Italian possession film. This low budget regional thriller is also known by the title Disciples of Death and outside of the Satanic rituals and downbeat feel of the movie, I have no idea why it make it on the list. That said, it’s available from Diabolik DVD.

24. The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein: Oh Jess Franco. You just can’t stay off the video nasty list. And this messy film, one of a dozen Franco made in 1972, is filled with Frankenstein’s Monster lost between two new masters and rooms full of nude men and women who are just begging to be whipped and tortured. There’s also a blind bird woman. You can get this from Diabolik DVD.

25. The Evil: Directed by Gus Trikonis, who also brought the world Nashville Girl, this film about a potential rehab center being built by Richard Crenna that’s beset by ghosts and even Satan himself — played by Victor Buono! — was never rereleased in the UK. You can get it from Shout! Factory.

26. The Executioner: Also known as Massacre Mafia Style, this Duke Mitchell auteur effort combines The Godfather with the inordinately bloody Italian poliziotteschi genre to create a movie that is very uniquely all its own film. The real story of Duke Mitchell is even crazier, as he was the singing voice of Fred Flintstone and was in a copycat Martin and Lewis tandem with Sammy Petrillo. Together, the duo made  Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. A new blu ray is due soon of this movie from Grindhouse Releasing.

27. Final Exam: Imagine a movie with a score and scenes pretty much straight out of Halloween, along with a kid named Radish who is so fated to get killed, he should have a target on his back. Oh Lanier College — never change your rituals of tying people to trees and filling their underpants with shaving cream. You can grab this from Shout! Factory.

28. Foxy Brown: That’s right — not just horror movies end up on the video nasty list. While this Pam Grier film played UK cinemas uncut, nearly 3 minutes were cut out of it in 1987, but those bits of offending material were added back for later release. Until this movie, the women of blaxploitation were just there to support or be abused by men. Maybe that was the problem, huh? You can get this from Olive Films.

29. Friday the 13th: The poster child for slasher movies played UK cinemas uncut, but ended up on this list, as did…

30. Friday the 13th Part 2: Maybe UK censors were mad about how much this movie rips off Bava’s A Bay of Blood. I kid, I kid…by 2008, this movie was given a 15 certificate, so morals have certainly changed.

31. GBH, aka G.B.H, aka Grievous Body Harm: This British crime drama — in full bloody color — found itself a quick entry on the video nasty list with it’s tale concerning a bouncer is called in to help fight off a mob boss who is trying to take over local night clubs. The World Video 2000 imprint on the sleeve was an attempt by noted porn producer David Grant to get in on the home video horror market.

32. Graduation Day: Another slasher, another entry on the video nasty list. But this one has Michael Pataki, Christopher Geroge, Linnea Quigley and just enough creativity and style to stand out from the pack. Vinegar Syndrome spent the time and energy to fully restore this movie to a glory it probably didn’t even have when it came out in 1981!

33. Happy Birthday to Me: I think by this point, UK censors were just looking at a list of slasher movies and saying, “Check. Check. Check. Let’s get a spot of tea.” This Canadian shocker is pretty darn great, to be perfectly honest. The brutal box art probably had something to do with this one getting checked off. You can grab it — completely with awesome retro VHS packaging — from Mill Creek.

34. Headless Eyes: The director of this film, Kent Bateman, would go on to produce Teen Wolf Too, which is a fact that may some day when you obscure horror movie trivia. If you’re wondering why his name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the father of Jason Bateman, who replaced Michael J. Fox as the lead in that sequel. This one’s all about a thief who gets misidenitifed as a rapist, gets his eyeball scooped out with a tea spoon and then starts killing women and taking out their eyes in retaliation. I wonder if Umberto Lenzi shook his fist in rage at finally being ripped off instead of the opposite happening? You can get the Code Red blu ray at Diabolik DVD. PS – this was produced by Ron Sullivan, who you may know better as adult film director Henri Pachard.

35. Hell Prison (AKA Escape From Hell): Edoardo Mulargia may mainly be known for the spaghetti westerns he directed, but he was also behind this women in prison film. It stars Anthony Steffen, who was Django in Django the Bastard, which is, of course, a rip off of the original but supernatural and weird. Diabolik DVD has Hell Prison for those that want it.

36. The Hills Have Eyes: There were literally 2 seconds cut from this film that were restored, but it’s still on the category 3 list. This paean to mutants against RV vacationers and their dog still holds up today and is probably my favorite Wes Craven movie. Arrow Video put out what is probably going to be the best version ever released of this movie until they figure out a way to directly implant horror movies into our brainstems.

37. Home Sweet Home: The guy from Body By Jake as a slasher? It’s also one of the few Thanksgiving based horror movies ever — trust me, I researched a list of ten of them — which had to be utterly baffling to UK audiences, who don’t celebrate the holiday.

38. Honeymoon Horror: Harry Preston has written many things, including Everything a Teenager Wants to Know About Sex and Should and fourteen romance novels as Vanessa Cartwright, but here and now, we’re remembering him for this movie about a jilted killer with a burned face menacing the newlyweds of Honeymoon Island. PS — I shared the American versus UK box art because it’s a billion times cooler.

39. Inseminoid: If you’re going to make a movie called Inseminoid and a bunch of censors don’t get upset, you’ve really failed at your job. This was one of the first UK movies to quickly be released on CHS after its appearance in cinemas, which led to it reaching seventh place on the British video sales charts in November 1981. One of the reasons why this movie was so controversial — I mean, other than the fact that it’s a movie for people who want to see an alien impregnate a human female — is that the producers did a direct mail campaign that featured lead actress Judy Geeson screaming alongside a headline that screamed “Warning! An Horrific Alien Birth! A Violent Nightmare in Blood! Inseminoid at a Cinema Near You Soon!” Director Norman J. Warren came to regret this, saying “The problem with mail-drops is that you have no way of knowing who lives in the house, or who will see it first. It could be a pregnant woman, and old lady, or even worse, a young child. So it was not such a good idea.” Indicator/Powerhouse has just released Bloody Terror, a box set of Warren’s films, including Satan’s Slave, Prey, Bloody New Year, Terror and this film. Yet another reason to own a region-free blu ray player.

40. Invasion of the Blood Farmers: A group of druids in New York decide that the only way to bring back their queen is by enacting a blood sacrifice and putting the blood of tourists into her body. The cast and crew were paid in beer. If these two sentences don’t make you want to buy this, what are you doing on our site? Luckily, Severin has you covered.

41. The Killing Hour: Perry King, from TV’s Riptide, stars as a talk show host that teams with a New York City detective and a clairvoyant artist — who can draw the murders that she sees in her head — to track down the Handcuff Killer. Just from that box art alone, you can see how this ended up on this list. Director Armand Mastroianni went from doing movies like this and He Knows You’re Alone to directing several movies for the Hallmark Channel, which delights me to no end. You can get this from Blue Underground.

42. The Last Horror Film: This Caroline Munro/Joe Spinell film — yes, they were both in Maniac — this movie was shot at the Cannes Film Festival. Director David Winters had the kind of life that I need to write an entire article about, starting his career in New York TV and radio before acting in several musicals including West Side Story, being a choreographer for several Elvis films — including Viva Las Vegas — and shows like Shindig! and the T.A.M.I. Show, directing several TV specials including ones for Raquel Welch and The 5th Dimension, then going into theatrical films with Alice Cooper: Welcome to My Nightmare (he hired Alice’s wife Sheryl) and Linda Lovelace for President (he dated Linda after she broke up with Chuck Traynor) before helming such disparate fare as Thashin’ and Space Mutiny (to be fair, he was sick while it was being made). He also produced a movie called Deadly Dancer with Breakin’ star Shabba-Doo that I must track down. Anyways, back to The Last Horror Film. It’s yet another movie that Troma has the rights to, which upsets me to no end. Diabolik DVD has it on DVD from Troma and an all-region blu ray release from 88 Films.

43. The Last Hunter: Antonio Margheriti was the first Italian director to move away from World War II and create a movie about Vietnam. Sure, he was ripping off The Deer Hunter, but you have to start somewhere. David Warbeck (Twins of Evil), Tisa Farrow (Zombi), Tony King (who was in Cannibal Apocalypse and The Atlantis Interceptors, but now heads security for Public Enemy), Margit Newton (Zombie Creeping Flesh), John Steiner (tons of great Italian films, but of course Yor Hunter from the Future), Massimo Vanni (also known as Alex McBride, he played Big Little Man in Escape from the Bronx, Taurus in Rats: The Night of Terror and Mako in The New Barbarians) and Luciano Pigozzi (Blood and Black Lace) are all in this, an all-star Italian exploitation cast if there ever was one. Originally billed as a sequel and entitled Cacciatore 2, the only thing this movie has in common with its inspiration is Vietnam. It was also shot on the same locations as Apocalypse Now. You can get a copy from Kino Lorber.

44. The Love Butcher: Caleb and Lester are two sides of one maniac in a movie that’s just as much slasher as it is a strange 1970’s movie — you know the kind, the movies where you just throw your hands up and say, “Yeah, the 70’s.” The original director, Mike Angel, went on to write the batshit Linda Blair movie Grotesque as well as act in Werewolves On Wheels and The Black Six. His initial film was unplayable, so Don Jones (The Forest, Schoolgirls In Chains) came in to finish it off and add plenty of misogyny. Again, the 70’s. You can get this from Ronin Flix.

45. Mad Foxes: This Spanish revenge movie is all about a man getting back at the bikers who killed his wife. Sounds simple? Well, there are tons of scenes that upset UK censors, including rape, gore, castration and nunchakus. Yes, that’s right.

According to the BBFC website: “The success of Enter the Dragon, and the kung-fu genre in general, saw public concerns arise at the concurrent spread of the use of chainsticks (or nunchakus) and other martial arts weaponry among London youths. Media coverage of the issue caught the eye of Murphy’s successor as BBFC Secretary, James Ferman. In December 1979, Ferman recalled Enter The Dragon for another look in the light of these anxieties. Ferman asked the film’s distributor to remove the sight of chainsticks in the fight sequence between Bruce Lee and his attackers. The images nunchakus were also requested to be removed from the film’s trailer and its promotional posters.”

The removal of martial arts weaponry soon became standard BBFC practice with the advent of VHS bringing violent kung-fu films into the home in the early 1980s. When Enter The Dragon came out on VHS, some cuts were restored but the weaponry remained cut out, which has lasted way into the DVD and streaming eras.

That’s right — you can show guns in UK films, but not martial arts weapons. Sounds legit to me.

46. Mark of the Devil: I mean, this movie had a vomit bag giveaway when it played in the US. That’s what you get when you have a film packed with nuns being raped, Herbert Lom and Udo Keir beating on townspeople, as well as a woman’s tongue being forcibly ripped out of her mouth. Arrow Video has a great version of it.

47. Martin: After playing UK cinemas uncut, this still ended up on the video nasty list. I doubt any kids that rented it were all that jazzed about what they found. Unlike a simple slasher, this mediation on the death of Pittsburgh and the lack of real magic in the world is just plain shades of gray. It’s also one of my favorite movies of all time. It looks like a blu ray is coming soon, which is good news, as it deserves a wider audience.

48. Mansion of the Doomed: Richard Basehart slices up eyeballs to try and save the sight of his young daughter (Trish Stewart from Salvage 1) in a movie produced by Charles Band and directed by Michael Pataki. Holy shit — why am I writing this article and not watching this movie? You can get it from Full Moon.

49. Mausoleum: Playboy Playmate Bobbie Bresee plays Susan Nomed and if you don’t get that name, this movie is going to be lost on you. She’s married to Marjoe Gortner, but as she grows closer to her inheritance, she gets more unhinged and more willing to have nasty European porn sex with the disgusting gardener. Plus, LaWanda Page of TV’s Sanford and Son shows up. Maybe I haven’t sold this movie well enough. Perhaps I need to be plain: it’s fucking awesome sleaze. You can get it from Vinegar Syndrome.

50. Midnight: Written and directed by one of the creators of Night of the Living Dead, John Russo, this film is also set in Western Pennsylvania. Let me tell you something about my home state. On one side is Philly. On the other is Pittsburgh. In the middle is Pennsyltucky, a place that has more rebel flags than the Deep South. Real life maniac Lawrence Tierney and Martin star John Amplas are in this, along with effects by Tom Savini. Trust me, I wasn’t surprised by one thing in this film about Satanic cults abducting young women.

51. Naked Fist (Firecracker): This Cirio Santiago Philippines martial arts adventure has Jillian Kesner (Gary Graver’s wife, as well as the girlfriend of Fonzie on Happy Days and Cookie from Raw Force) teaming up with Darby Hinton (Malibu Express) to kick a lot of people. If you don’t think this is going to be on this site in a few days, you don’t know me.

52. The Nesting: A novelist suffers from agoraphobia and moves to a house to deal with it, except that she feels like she’s been there before and even drew pictures of it in her book, The Nesting. John Carradine, Gloria Grahame in her last role and Robin Groves, who is in both Sliver and Silver Bullet appear in this gory haunted house effort that you can get from Blue Underground.

53. The New Adventures of Snow White: Also known as Grimm’s Fairy Tales for Adults, this sex farce is part of the career downward trajectory of Rolf Thiele, who had once been a mainstream director, but increasingly found himself making lower-budget sex comedies. It’s all about Snow White (Marie Liljedahl, who was Eugenie in Eugenie…The Story of Her Journey into Perversion), Cinderella (Eva Rueber-Staier, who was General Gogol’s assistant Rublevitch in the films The Spy Who Loved Me, For Your Eyes Only and Octopussy) and Sleeping Beauty. The evil queen is played by Ingrid van Bergen, who famously shot her lover dead in 1977 and was released five years later to continue being a star. Obviously, sex and kid stories would be upsetting to anyone on the BBFC.

54. Nightbeast: This Don Dohler film is pretty much a remake of his first film, The Alien Factor. Shot for just $14,000, it has an alien on the prowl and a score by a 16-year-old J.J. Abrams. Vinegar Syndrome, which has recently re-released this film, said that it’s “a frenzy of wildly colorful and stunning animation techniques, homemade gore effects, and awkward sexual encounters.” Sounds pretty much perfect for this list. If you watch closely in Mandy, this movie is playing on the TV in a scene. And is Dohler’s The Galaxy Invader from 1985 also similar? Yep.

55. Night of the Living Dead: Even twenty-some years after its release, this Pittsburgh-shot black and white father of the modern zombie — hell, modern horror — film still had the capacity to upset the BBFC. Hail Romero forever.

56. Nightmare City: About three minutes of this movie had to be cut out in order for it to be released in the UK. I’m shocked it wasn’t more, as this movie feels like it never stops piling on the mayhem. Obviously an influence on 28 Days Later, this Umberto Lenzi-directed splatter classic is available on Shudder and an all-region UK DVD/blu ray combo from Arrow Video that you can get from Diabolik DVD. Raro Video has also released this film. Literally, every time Becca asks me what we should watch, this is the first movie I bring up.

57. Oasis of the Zombies: If that swastika at the top of the box art wasn’t enough to just dare the BBFC to ban this movie, I don’t know what else this movie had to do. Some people love this movie. Some say that it’s pure boredom, a trance-inducing piece of Jess Franco directed junk. Someday soon, I’ll review it here and tell you what I think.

58. Parasite: This Alien-influenced film is the first major role for Demi Moore. I’m not sure she has this Charles Band film on her resume, to be honest. Cherie Currie from The Runaways is in it, so at least there’s that.

59. Phantasm: Although this film now has a 15 certificate, at one point, it was upsetting enough to make it on to this list. Maybe it was the box art, which has nothing to do with the film at all. Then again, this movie is so all over the place, it totally could have something to do with it.

60. Pigs: This movie* wasn’t re-released in the UK until 2017 when 88 Films put it out. It’s a film from my favorite genre — 1970’s odd. Vinegar Syndrome has recently re-released this film, packed with extras like the alternate openings for the alternate — and perhaps even stranger — versions of this movie, Daddy’s Girl and The Strange Love Exorcist.

*Thanks to Lee Real on Facebook for pointing out that 88 Films did re-release this!

61. Prey: Somehow a remix of D. H. Lawrence’s The Fox but with a carnivorous male alien hungering after lesbians, this Norman J. Warren film is all over the map. This is one of those films where arthouse and grindhouse fight it out for dominance and then a hungry alien monster eats the results. It’s also available on the new  Indicator/Powerhouse Bloody Terror, box set.

62. Prom Night: Canada has the Queen Mother on their money, which was used to tax shelter this Leslie Nielsen and Jamie Lee Curtis-starring slasher. I’ve always been a fan of this one, but then again, I have a soft spot for disco. You can get it on blu ray from Synapse.

63. Rabid: Speaking of Canada, one wonders exactly what UK censors thought when this mean-spirited piece of Canuck madness crossed their desks. Even Christmas isn’t safe from David Cronenberg’s insane vision. You can get this on blu ray from Shout! Factory.

64. Rosemary’s Killer: You may know this movie better as The Prowler and if you’ve seen it, you know exactly why it ended up on this list. It’s a non-stop assault of some of Tom Savini’s best effects. It’s also one of my favorite slashers. You can watch it on Shudder or get it on blu ray from Blue Underground.

65. Savage Terror: This Indonesian film isn’t afraid to rip off Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust while also having Kraftwerk and the theme from Star Wars on its soundtrack. I doubt they cared about asking for forgiveness or permission. You can get this from Cult Action under its alternate title Primitif.

66. Scanners: Cronenberg makes the list again with this head bursting explosion of mental powers and corporate warfare. It’s also probably the only movie on this list — make that all the video nasty lists — to make it into the Criterion Collection. You can grab their blu ray release of this movie on Amazon.

67. Scream for Vengeance!: Even the scuzziest rape revenge films ends up on this list. It’s also the only movie of that genre that features Bob Elliot, the father of Chris Elliot. Somehow, that makes me want to suffer through this one.

68. Shogun Assassin: Taking the first twelve minutes of Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance and most of Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx, director Robert Houston (Bobby from The Hills Have Eyes) and producer David Weisman (an Andy Warhol protege who went on to be involved with Kiss of the Spider Woman) created a remix that drew the extreme ire of the BBFC, leading to this movie being banned from 1983-2000. If you ever listened to the GZA album Liquid Swords, you’ve heard the dialogue from this movie.

69. Street Killers: Helmut Berger stars in this Sergio Grieco poliziottesco, which is also known as Mad Dog Killer. Marisa Mell from Danger: Diabolik and Perversion Story is abused by a gang, which leads to a cop getting bloody revenge. You can grab this from Blue Underground.

70. Suicide Cult: Any time someone asks me to recommend something strange, this is always the movie that I bring up. That said, I have no idea why this movie made the video nasty list. And even worse, I have no clue why no label hasn’t released this on blu ray, because it’s packed with Antichrist themed biorhythm strangeness. I need something better than the bootleg that I keep loaning out.

71. Superstition: This possession film stands out from the rest of the post-Poltergeist imitators by virtue of its sheer meanness and overwhelming gore. For years, this was only available on bootlegs — I must confess to having a burned DVD-R of it in my collection — but is now available from Shout! Factory.

72. Suspiria: This played UK cinemas uncut and was eventually re-released in 1998 totally uncut. One imagines the faces going through glass and massive amounts of day glo blood were enough for this movie to gain entry on to this list, despite it being a classic. For the best version of this film, choose the Synapse blu ray release. I would not, however, describe this movie as Psycho meets The Exorcist with no holds barred.

73. Terror: Two cousins fall to a curse from one of their ancestors who was a witch in this Norman J. Warren movie that was directly influenced by the movie directly above it on this list. The director even admits that the film “doesn’t make sense, because many of the people who get killed have nothing to do with the cursed family.” There was discussion of a sequel, which would have been “a fast-moving film that, along with the horror, also involves music and dancers.” No, that’s not inspired by Suspiria either. This is also available on the Indicator/Powerhouse Bloody Terror box set.

74. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: In theory, local councils in the UK have the power to allow any cinema to show any film. They mostly follow the rules of the BBFC, but in 1998 Camden Council granted a license to show this movie, despite it being later classified as 18. You can watch this on Shudder with and without commentary from Joe Bob Briggs. I’d advise watching the former.

75. The Thing: Despite high levels of goop and gore, this movie played UK cinemas and was released on VHS in 1987 uncut. I’m certain that any kid who watched this was probably scarred for life.

76. Tombs of the Living Dead: Also known as The Mad Doctor of Blood Island, this film — which was preceded by Terror Is a Man, Brides of Blood and was followed by Beast of Blood and Beast of the Yellow Night — amped up the gore and nudity of the first two films in the series. Toss in forty-plus seconds of real animal abuse and you’re on the BBFC list. Too bad they didn’t see what happened when it played in America. A prologue was added to the film inviting viewers to drink a free packet of green blood and undergo the oath of the green blood in order to safely watch “the unnatural green-blooded ones without fear of contamination.” Severin put out The Blood Island Collection, which is now sadly out of print.

77. The Toy Box: Oh Harry Novak. Only you could produce a film where aliens conduct orgies to collect human souls to do as drugs back on their home planet. Uschi Digart also shows up and if you instantly perked up at the mention of her name, hello pervert.

78. Werewolf Woman: Rino Di Silvestro claimed that he wanted to make a serious werewolf movie. We should take the director of Deported Women of the SS Special Section at his word, right? Right. Who knew that rape causes you to become a werewolf? Italian exploitation film watchers and makers, that’s who. You can get this from Raro Video.

79. Wrong Way: This movie was unreleased in the UK until 1980 and then passed with extensive BBFC cuts of over 15 minutes, reducing the running time to less than an hour. Two girls break down in the country and are kidnapped by a gang of drug-crazed hippies and repeatedly assaulted before they run into a Satanic cult that also wants to rape them, because this movie was made in the 1970’s. Then…the film cuts away, never to reveal their fate, and turns into a totally different movie. I’ve heard that this movie has no redeeming qualities at all, but that’s never stopped me from watching a movie.

80. Xtro: Now this is a movie! Actually, it’s a whole bunch of movies rolled on up into one, then covered in blood and chunks of vomit, then unspooled all grainy and scratched up right into your mind. It’s one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, one that’s just packed with twists and turns. In fact, I’m not even sure if Tony’s dad is taken by aliens from another planet or Lovecraftian gods. This is a movie that upsets almost everyone I’ve ever shown it to. You can imagine how much I love it. Diabolik DVD has an all region blu ray for sale.

81. Zombie Holocaust: Otherwise known as Doctor Butcher M.D., this Italian zombie/cannibal is everything that every authority figure ever warned you about. It’s vile, reprehensible trash, packed with gore, ridiculous synthesizers music and mayhem. That means that this film is entertaining as hell and you should go out of your way to watch it. Severin has made that simple, as they have a great blu ray release of this film, which features the original Zombie Holocaust version and the American Doctor Butcher M.D. cut, as well as more than two hours of extras.

82. Zombie Lake: If you’re going to pick a Nazi zombie movie, by all means, pick Shock Waves. This Jean Rollin movie has an entire town, including a female basketball team, battling the undead. Jess Franco left before it started filming, so just imagine the production bad enough that Franco leaves over artistic differences instead of collecting a paycheck. You can get it from Diabolik DVD.

Think we’re done with video nasties? Not yet. There’s one more article coming that will highlight other films that were seized and other movies that caused issues in England.

Did we miss something? Were we off on a fact or a film? Don’t be shy — tell us. We love getting feedback and you’ll be credited in any future edits to this article.

Every creative force has projects that they either turn down or work hard to get made, but ultimately never make it to light. Sylvester Stallone is no different, as there have been several films — some a long time in development — that have never made it to the silver screen. I was inspired by the list on Craig Zablo’s Stallone Zone and decided to do my own research into some of these unrealized movies.

Bartholomew vs. Neff: The July 30, 1990 L.A. Times reported that “Carolco Pictures Chairman Mario Kassar announced today that John Hughes will direct Stallone and Candy in a comedy about feuding neighbors entitled Bartholomew vs. Neff. An original story by Hughes about two neighbors whose friendship disintegrates as they battle to the finish, the film is scheduled to begin production in the summer of 1991, shooting in the Chicago suburbs.”

All that exists of the film is the unproduced script and this board that announced that it would soon be filming. Stallone would move on to appear in another Carolco film, Cliffhanger. Sadly, Candy would pass away in 1994, so we’d never get to see those two stars team up.

The Executioner: This adaption of Don Pendelton’s famous paperback novel hero almost happened, with Stallone starring as Mack Bolan and either Burt Reynolds or William Friedkin directing. The June 23, 1988 issue of the Chicago Tribune reports that Friedkin was delaying the film until May of that year. Over the last few years, this movie has also been rumored to be a Bradley Cooper project. If you can’t wait to see one of Mack’s adventures, you can always watch one of The Punisher comic adaptions or The Exterminator movies, as they pretty much stole the idea whole cloth.

I realize this is from the new Rambo and not Gale Force, but it’s the only photo I could find of Sly in the rain.

Gale Force: Described as Die Hard in a hurricane, this movie was a mess from day one. Made back in the days of Hollywood big spending, the October 4, 1991 Entertainment Weekly article describes the film as the first project where “the new Hollywood austerity has finally hit Carolco.” Renny Harlin spent over $1.75 million dollars on scripts alone and had a $3 million dollar pay or play deal. The studio elected not to play; Harlin would go on to further deplete the coffers of Carolco with Cuthroat Island and Cliffhanger, which required other studios to finally get made. And hey — Joe Eszterhas made a cool half-million just for coming and writing whatever he wanted. Hollywood in the 1990’s was pretty awesome if you liked to get paid.

There are no pictures of this movie, so how about Stallone with some bodyguards?

The Bodyguard: No, not the Kevin Costner/Whitney Houston movie. This unproduced script was written by Stallone in the 1970’s and concerns a bodyguard who fails to protect a millionaire’s wife and child, so he must go after the killers for revenge.

No photos of the following film…you get the idea by now.

The Bogus Kingdom/Till Young Men Exit: Stallone told William Baer in the book Classic American Films: Conversations With the Screenwriters, “I was always the mugger, the intimidator, which actually seemed quite strange to me since I’d never perceived myself in that way. So I wrote a whole pile of scripts…trying, in every case, to create possibilities for myself as an actor.” I’ve seen both of these movies listed on several unmade Stallone ideas and they seem similar: a group of performers who are tired of being passed over kidnap several high-ranking movie execs (or Broadway producers) and use their make-up and acting skills to take over. Much like how Stallone used parts of his real life for other films, you can see him channeling exactly where he was in his life.

Fatalis: Created by Jeff Rovin, who also wrote Stallone! A Hero’s Story, this movie was optioned by Universal, according to the October 23, 1998 edition of Variety. It’s all about saber-toothed tigers — that were frozen in glaciers — coming back to life thanks to climatic shifts of El Nino and making their way to Los Angeles. Stallone would have played Jim Grand, an academic expert who love ancient weapons, yet attempts to stop their attack without making them extinct all over again.

This came from the podcast Screenplay Archaeology.

Dead Reckoning/Isobar: There’s an entire chapter in David Hughes’ Tales from Development Hell about this film, which would have been the first to team Ridley Scott with HR Giger since Alien. Written by Jim Uhls, who would go on to script Fight Club, this movie was all about what happens when “an altered form of life gets loose on a high-speed runaway underground train. The creature was a humanoid with a genetically-altered brain that was intended to be used as the hard drive in an artificial intelligence project.”

Under the working title The Train, Giger went crazy designing all manner of creatures and machinery for Scott, including “bizarre designs for trains, stations, passenger compartments — even a radical new kind of emergency exit in which passengers are ejected into a spontaneous ejaculation of soft foam.” Scott would soon leave the film and Giger would follow, using some of his sketches for Species.

Joel Silver stayed on as producer, renaming the movie Isobar, which means “a line on a map connecting positions having the same atmospheric pressure at a given time, or on average over a given period.” Uhls worked that into his script, renaming the train the Intercontinental Subterranean Oscillo-magnetic Ballistic Aerodynamic Railway.

Steven de Souza even came on board to do some rewrites, but he derided the project as “too much of a picture called It! The Terror from Beyond Space…So with ISOBAR, you had a rip-off of a rip-off.”

Dean Devlin came aboard as well as Roland Emmerich as director. Stallone and Kim Basinger were to star in the movie, too. An astonishingly high $90 million dollars was the budget for ISOBAR or Osobar in 1990 — around $177 million today — and there have been rumors as recently as 2006 that the movie could still be made, according to Den of Geek.

As for Giger, he grew obsessed with the idea of a ghost train and used it in Species, as well as bringing it into the real world, creating a home train that ran from his kitchen to backyard. Yes, really.

Poe: For nearly four decades, Stallone has wanted to make a movie all about Edgar Allan Poe. Again, yes really. “It’s a never-ending journey, and I would hate myself if I don’t continue it at least to the best of my ability and try to see it actually come to fruition,” Stallone said in an Instagram video. “To be able to go out there and say, ‘I accomplished it. It may have taken 45 or 50 years, but it’s done.” That’s what I’m working on. It’s been one of the great challenges of my life, but like Poe used to say, “I promise to take life by the throat and I shall not let go until I succeed.” Yo Poe, keeping punching.”

According to this Huffington Post article, Stallone has intended for this movie to star Robert Downey Jr. And just why does he love Poe so much? “His work was too hip for the room… but he developed the modern mystery story. He was also one of the great cryptologists; there were very few codes he couldn’t crack. He was just an extraordinary guy.”

Sinsilver: All the way back in November 1, 1976, Stallone told The New York Times that if he didn’t star in Superman or make his Poe movie that he’d do this film, about a Hassidic Jew in the Old West, and based on “a reinterpretation of the Communist Manifesto.”

Sad Blues: Stallone also wrote an unproduced script in the 1970’s about a pop singer with a life-threatening condition that requires that he eat bananas every day. And you thought Rhinestone was crazy.

There’s also a big list of films that Stallone was originally intended to star in, but ended up passing on, which includes Beverly Hills Cop, Coming Home, The Cotton Club, Frequency, Inglorious Basterds, Romancing the Stone, Superman and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.

Also of note are two cancelled Stallone toys:

These were originally intended to be 6-inch Judge Dredd figures before the film underperformed. Mattel then released them as part of their Mega Heroes line, but at a much smaller size.

In the encylcopedic G.I. Joe: Order of Battle #2, Joe fans were surprised to see a new member join the team: Rocky Balboa. Coleco had already been having some success with their cartoon tie-in line, Rambo: The Force of Freedom. Yet one issue later, this disclaimer appeared.

So what happened? According to former Hasbro product manager Kirk Bozigian, in this Mental Floss article, “The reason Rocky was dropped from the G.I. Joe line is because his agents got greedy. While we were designing and sculpting Rocky Balboa, a competing toy company, Coleco, was introducing Rambo action figures and vehicles to compete with us. The decision to drop Rocky was an easy one.”

Despite all this, Rocky’s would-be nemesis, Big Boa, did end up joining the Cobra army.

Mock-up of an unproduced Rocky G.I. Joe.

Did I miss anything? Do you know anything about Charming Charlie, another unproduced Stallone script? Or how about the never made Cobra 2? Let me know!