THANKSGIVING TERROR: ThanksKilling (2007)

This is without a doubt the dumbest — and therefore most awesome — Thanksgiving slasher I’ve seen. It starts with a topless pilgrim woman being murdered by a turkey. A turkey named Turkie who was reborn through necromacy by  Feathercloud, a Native American shaman dishonored by pilgrim Chuck Langston. Now, every five-hundred and five years, Turkie rises to kill every white man he sees.

If you see a miniature totem pole, don’t allow your dog to piss on it. That just releases undead talking and murder-loving turkeys from their dark sleep. I usually dislike movies that set out to be funny, but this is a movie that has a turkey wear Groucho glasses to sneak its way past someone who doesn’t even noticed that they are speaking with a zombie ghost turkey.

Shot during the summer break between director Jordan Downey and writer Kevin Stewart’s junior and senior year of college — Brad Schulz also wrote the script — the team went on to make The Head Hunter as well as an even wilder sequel.

This was to be called Death Turkey in countries that don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. I love that title more than I can even write here.

A turkey uses a handgun. If you need more from film, you should really just be a grumpy old man.

If you’re ready to get the holiday started right, watch this on Tubi.

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