JUNESPLOITATION: Hot Fuzz (2007)

DAY 10: Private Eyes!

Hot Fuzz isn’t just a blockbuster. It’s a masterclass in genre homage. It’s the kind of movie that feels like it was curated by a record store clerk who spent his entire teenage years alternating between Michael Bay blowouts and classic British murder mysteries. It’s loud, it’s bloody, it’s hilarious, and it’s absolute perfection.

Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is the ultimate super-cop. He’s so good, so efficient, and so damn professional that he’s making the rest of the Metropolitan Police look like a bunch of muppets. The solution? Ship him off to the sleepy, idyllic village of Sandford, Gloucestershire. The thinking is that if he’s bored to tears by paperwork and lost swans, he’ll just quit.

But Sandford isn’t just tea and crumpets. It’s a place where people keep dying in accidental ways—decapitations, gas explosions and conveniently falling masonry. Angel, paired with the bumbling, action-movie-obsessed Danny Butterman (Nick Frost), realizes something sinister is rotting beneath the village’s Village of the Year veneer.

Spoiler warning: It turns out the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance (NWA) is more of a murderous secret society than a concerned group of citizens, all obsessed with protecting their pristine town stats at any cost. It leads to one of the most glorious, over-the-top third acts in cinema history. Forget high-brow detective work; by the time the shotgun-wielding, sea-mine-toting finale kicks in, the movie transforms into the very thing it was paying tribute to.

Edgar Wright filled this thing with people we love. Keep your eyes peeled for Peter Jackson as a Father Christmas-clad slasher, Cate Blanchett as Angel’s ex, and Bill Nighy as the Chief Inspector. Just as much as the cameos are the references. Hot Fuzz is a massive love letter to Bad Boys II and Point Break, while the NWA constantly saying they’re doing things for the greater good makes them seem straight out of The Wicker Man

But it’s a real action movie, too! Simon Pegg and Nick Frost didn’t just phone it in. They trained with real firearms instructors and studied police procedures to ensure the action sequences looked legit, even when they were shooting while jumping through the air.

In a world of bloated, humorless action movies, Hot Fuzz stands tall. It understands that you can mock a genre’s tropes while simultaneously honoring them. It also has one of the grossest things I’ve seen, as Timothy Dalton falls face-first toward a miniature church steeple.

With references to A Fistful of DollarsThe French ConnectionMcQDeath WishThe Omen and Lost Highway, as well as a starring role for the video collections of director Edgar Wright, his brother Oscar and his friend Joe Cornish, this movie is a total joy of cinema for me. I’ve watched it more times than I can count and always come back for more.

RUBY MAX ENTERTAINMENT/MVD BLU-RAY RELEASE: Badland (2007)

Badland drops us right into the wreckage of Jerry Rice’s life. He’s a guy who made it out of Fallujah only to find himself trapped in a different kind of war back home. Between a soul-crushing job at a gas station and a marriage that’s hitting the rocks, it doesn’t take much for the pressure to blow. Following a false accusation that acts as the final spark, Jerry snaps, leaving his old life in literal ruins and taking his young daughter, Celina, on the lam.

They’re ghosts in the machine, drifting through the desolate American heartland, living in squats and motels while the news brands Jerry a monster. Celina, who has a chillingly innocent way of chatting with God like He’s a buddy sitting at the breakfast table, renames herself Rose and tries to find a normal life in the fading town of Fineman. But you can’t outrun the past. When they cross paths with Max, a local sheriff who’s also a veteran, the walls start closing in. It’s a collision course between two men who understand the same darkness.

Badland feels like the cinematic equivalent of a bruised rib. It’s bleak, it’s quiet, and it captures that specific, suffocating feeling of being an outsider in your own country. It eschews the typical action-hero-on-the-run tropes for something much more uncomfortable: a character study of a man who has lost his compass. The cinematography emphasizes the decay of small-town America, making every abandoned farmhouse and lonely highway feel like a tomb.

The way Celina/Rose handles the trauma, almost filtering it through her conversations with the Divine, adds a haunting, ethereal layer to what would otherwise be a straightforward crime thriller. It’s deeply unsettling to hear a child talk about such heavy topics with a terrifying, calm clarity.

This isn’t a popcorn movie. It’s a slow-burning tragedy about the cycles of violence we bring back from the desert and the impossible choices we make when we think we’re protecting the people we love. It’s a rough ride, but it stays with you long after the credits roll.

The Ruby Max Entertainment/MVD release includes extras such as a commentary by director Francesco Lucente and cinematographer Carlo Varini, interviews with Jamie Draven and Joe Morton, an electronic press kit, makeup VFX, a music press kit, auditions, deleted scenes and the soundtrack on CD. You can get it from MVD.

UNEARTHED FILMS BLU-RAY RELEASE: 100 Tears (2007)

If you’ve spent any time digging through the bargain bins of independent horror, you know that clown movies are usually a dime a dozen. Most of them rely on a scary mask and some greasepaint to do the heavy lifting. But every once in a while, a movie comes along that decides to swap the greasepaint for five-gallon buckets of stage blood.

Enter Marcus Koch’s 2007 splatter-fest, 100 Tears.

Gurdy (Jack Amos) was just an average, introverted circus clown until a false accusation of rape led to a brutal beating by the circus strongman. Gurdy didn’t take the turn the other cheek approach; instead, he took the strangle everyone and start a cross-country massacre way. 

Fast forward, and Gurdy is now the Teardrop Killer, an urban legend following the circus from town to town, leaving behind a trail of bodies and a signature teardrop drawn in blood. When two reporters, Mark Webb (Joe Davison, who also wrote the script) and Jennifer Stevenson (Georgia Chris), start sniffing around the trail of bodies, they find themselves trapped in a warehouse of horrors.

But this isn’t just akill-the-intrudersflick. Gurdy finds his long-lost daughter, Christine (Raine Brown), and instead of a heartwarming reunion, they decide to make mass murder a family business.

If you know Marcus Koch, you know he’s an effects wizard first and a director second. The budget here was a mere $75,000, but every cent is on the screen in the form of viscera. We’re talking giant meat cleavers, decapitations, and a halfway house massacre that sets the tone early: this movie wants to make you lose your lunch.

100 Tears is the definition of a cult film. It’s rough around the edges, the acting can betheatrical(it is a circus movie, after all), and the plot logic occasionally takes a back seat to the next practical effect.

Extras include two commentaries—one with director Marcus Koch and a second with Koch and Stephen Biro; an interview with Koch; a making-of; behind-the-scenes; outtakes; Koch’s childhood shorts; and a trailer. You can get this from MVD.

LIGHTYEAR BLU-RAY RELEASE: Randy and the Mob (2007)

Most people know Ray McKinnon as the tortured preacher from Deadwood or the guy who created Rectify. Most people know Walton Goggins as one of the most electric character actors of his generation. But before they were icons of the new Prestige TV era, they were two guys from the South making some of the weirdest, most soulful, and downright funniest indie cinema of the early 2000s under their Ginny Mule Pictures banner.

Randy Pearson (Ray McKinnon) is a good ol’ boy who is perpetually one bad decision away from total disaster. This time, he’s stepped into it deep by borrowing money from the Mob. When the bill comes due, and the Italians come knocking in rural Georgia, Randy has to turn to the only people left who haven’t completely written him off.

This leads to McKinnon pulling double duty, playing both the hapless Randy and his estranged, gay twin brother, Cecil. It’s a performance that could have devolved into a cheap caricature in lesser hands, but McKinnon gives it a surprising amount of heart.

But let’s be real: the movie belongs to Walton Goggins as Tino Armani. Imagine a modern-day prophet who obsesses over high fashion, cooks high-end Italian meals in the middle of the woods and has a supernatural knack for making money appear and disappear. Goggins plays Tino with a flamboyant, mysterious energy that feels like he stepped out of a Fellini film and got lost in a Cracker Barrel. Throw in the late, great Lisa Blount (Prince of Darkness) as Randy’s long-suffering wife, and you’ve got a mafia comedy that is way more interested in character quirks than hits and heists.

There’s even an uncredited Burt Reynolds in this.

This special edition release also includes the Academy Award-winning The Accountant and a making-of feature. You can order this from MVD.

APRIL MOVIE THON DAY 15: The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007)

April 15: TV to Movies — Let’s decry the lack of originality in Hollywood. But first, let’s write about a movie that started as a TV show.

The 2007 prequel The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning is a curious artifact of the mid-2000s direct-to-video boom, arriving just two years after the big-budget Johnny Knoxville/Seann William Scott theatrical film. While the 2005 version felt like a glossy Hollywood blockbuster, The Beginning leans hard into the “teen sex comedy” trope that defined the post-American Pie era (which also got its own endless series of direct-to-video sequels).

When mischievous teenage cousins Bo (Jonathan Bennett, Mean Girls and so many holiday movies) and Luke Duke (Randy Wayne, Hellraiser: Judgment) are put in the care of their Uncle Jesse (Willis Nelson) to work on his farm. But they soon learn that their uncle makes the best moonshine anywhere, and Boss Hogg (Christopher McDonald) plans to close down their family farm. Along with Cooter (Joel David Moore, Norm from the Avatar series) and their cousin Daisy (April Scott), they’ll save the day.

Directed by Robert Berlinger, whose career is mostly in TV, and written by Shane Morris (one of the writers of Frozen), this gets in everyone you want from the series, like Roscoe (Harland Williams), Enos (Adam Shulman), Lulu Hogg (Sherilynn Fenn) and even Gary Cole taking over for Waylon Jennings as the Balladeer. Originally airing on ABC Family, there were also R-rated and unrated versions.

Common Sense Media adds, “Parents need to know that this comedy has all the raunch of the American Pie movies and all the sexism of There’s Something About Mary. It encourages girls to base their worth on how they look and to use their appearance to manipulate men. It may also lead teen boys to drive recklessly. The film also says that General Robert E. Lee, who led the South in the Civil War, was “the greatest general,” which may disturb families of color. The film shows teens drinking and implies that teens have sex.”

Somehow, this has a Drive-By Truckers song on the soundtrack.

Otherwise, this is not my Dukes of Hazzard, which is probably so problematic now I shouldn’t have written that. I didn’t like that Daisy went from a nerd to a woman who learned that only through her beauty could she get what she wanted.

If you expect nothing from a direct-to-video and cable prequel/sequel to a failed reboot, you will be rewarded in abundance.

You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK BLU RAY RELEASE: The King of Queens (1998-2007)

Premiering on CBS on September 21, 1998, The King of Queens was one of those shows that always seemed to be on. I had never watched it, and all I knew about Kevin James was that he was Mick Foley’s high school wrestling teammate. But when I showed the box set on our weekly “What Came In the Mail” segment on the Drive-In Asylum Double Feature, people were excited and told me that I needed to watch it soon.

It’s a simple set-up. Doug (Kevin James) and Carrie Heffernan (Leah Remini) are pretty much The Honeymooners, a middle-class couple living in Queens, except that her father Arthur (Jerry Stiller) has lost his latest, much younger wife and burned his house down, so now he has to live with them. That’s all there is to it, as it’s about them, their weird friend, and Doug’s schemes to get ahead.

There’s Doug’s straight man, Deacon Palmer (Victor Williams), nerdy mommy’s boy Spencer “Spence” Olchin (Patton Oswalt), cousin Daniel Heffernan (Gary Valentine), dog walker Holly Shumpert (Nicole Sullivan) and even Lou Ferrigno, playing himself. Plus, as you know, I love crossovers; there are four with Everyone Loves Raymond.

The leads are fun, everyone knows their role, and this feels like the kind of show you can just put on and veg out to. I love sitcoms and feel like they’re kind of lost art, so it was fun getting into this for a few episodes. I didn’t like the last season, where Doug and Carrie split, but I could see myself watching more of it.

What fascinates me is that when James started his second show, Kevin Can Wait, his wife, Donna Gable, was portrayed by Erinn Hayes. Yet in the second season, she died off camera and was replaced by Vanessa Cellucci (played by Leah Remini), Kevin’s former rival from the police who becomes his partner in life and at a security company, Monkey Fist Security. Donna’s death is off-handedly mentioned by someone saying, “Ye, it’s been over a year since she died.”

This is where it gets meta.

On the AMC TV show Kevin Can F**k Himself, Allison McRoberts (Annie Murphy) has a man-child of a husband, Kevin (Eric Petersen), who sees life as a sitcom while hers is a drama. Kevin becomes so horrible to her that she begins to plan his death. When people find out, she fakes her passing, and he soon gets another girlfriend who looks and acts exactly like Allison.

She’s played by Erinn Hayes.

I’ve always wondered how we got the beautiful, capable wife and immature husband dynamic ingrained in us and how many relationships it has harmed. It makes me think about how I behave. Then again, as I write this, I am in a basement surrounded by movies and action figures. Hmm.

Mill Creek has released every episode in one gigantic box set. It has extras such as James doing commentary on the pilot with show creator Michael Weithorn; a laughs montage; behind the scenes; a writers featurette; a salute to the fans and the 200th episode celebration. You can get it from Deep Discount.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2007)

In the video game Elf Bowling, the elves of Santa’s Workshop are on strike so Santa abuses them by using them as bowling pins as they yell, “Is that all the balls you got, Santa?” The perfect game to adapt into a kid movie! I mean, just look at this fact about the game: It became an internet sensation in 1999 when people originally thought it was a computer virus.

This movie even gets the sequel in, where Dingle Kringle — Santa’s brother — hooks up with Mrs. Claus as they all go to a tropical island and meet the Moai statues of Easter Island. There were eight of these games, including Elf Bowling – Bocce Style and Elf Bowling 6: Air Biscuits, in which the elves could fly by way of flatulence.

So…this movie. Take it away, Wikipedia.

“The film was panned by critics for its writing, animation, directing, humor, plot, musical numbers, voice acting, characterizations and for having little to nothing to do with the premise of the game.”

Santa Claus (Joe Alaskey, who voiced many of the Looney Tunes and Droopy the Dog) started in life as a pirate captain. He redeemed himself somewhat by taking took toys from the rich and giving them to orphanages. He battles his half-brother Dingle Kringle (Tom Kenny, yes, Sponge Bob) and like Holmes and Moriarty, they’ve both taken off the board. But you know, instead of the Reichenbach Falls, they get frozen into blocks of ice. Lex the elf sees them and thinking like the Eskimos did to Sub-Mariner, the elves start to worship Santa as some kind of god who will fulfill a prophecy of leadership, at which points he starts bowling with them once he’s thawed out.

Unlike the game, the elves in this love being smashed by a bowling ball. Dingle takes them to Fiji and Santa has to rescue everyone. The Moai also show up, despite Fiji being 4,600 miles from Easter Island. This is topped by dialogue that is quite intelligent, such as “I have a teensy question for you…who pooped in the peanut barrel?”

At least Tom Kenny got his wife Jill Talley (Karen the Computer Wife on Sponge Bob) a job as Mrs. Claus. He would later say that hen he got a call to do the project, he’d never heard of the recording location, which led to him driving around LA and ending up in a bad neighborhood where the recording took place inside a rundown apartment building.

A U.S./Fiji/South Korea co-production directed by Dave Kim with Rex Piano as co-director, this had animated outsourced to South Korea with the editing happening inside a Simi Valley house owned by Kim’s mother. Kim was so hands on that he did the motion capture for the dance scenes.

The credits tell you that Elf Bowling 2: The Great Halloween Pumpkin Heist is coming. Somehow, the world was not ready for that and it was cancelled.

I warn you: this is the kind of CGI that makes strike and spare animation at a bowling alley look like Katsuhiro Otomo by comparison. There are theories the world ended in the 2000s and we’re just the residual memories of dead souls, floating through a lifeless galaxy. This movie is a real argument for the truth of that presumption.

You can watch this on YouTube.

ARROW BLU RAY RELEASE: J-Horror Rising: Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007)

This is based on the Japanese urban legend known as Kuchisake-onna. She was a woman who missed her samurai husband while he was away at war and began to sleep with other men. When he returned and learned of how she was stepping beyond the bounds of their marriage, he sliced her face. She came back from the dead as an onryo who covered her face and appeared to people, asking if she was beautiful. If they answered no, they died. If they said yes, she removed her mask and asked again. Now, if they say no, they will die. If they say yes? They will be given a face like hers.

This legend dates back to Japan’s Edo period but came back in the late 1970s, when rumors of her reappearance led to children needing to be walked home by parents from school.

In this movie, rumors of Kuchisake-onna have spread through a small town. School teacher Noboru Matsuzaki (Haruhiko Kato) hears a voice asking “Am I pretty?” while students begin to disappear. One of the students, Mika (Rie Kuwana) doesn’t want to go home to her abusive mother (Chiharu Kawai). The teacher she tells this to, Kyoko Yamashita (Eriko Sato) has lost her daughter to her ex-husband. She hesitates in dealing with Mika and the girls runs away, meeting Kuchisake-onna.

Noboru and Kyoko start to look for the missing children and learn that Kuchisake-onna can possess other women. That’s when Noboru reveals that a woman in a photograph who may be the evil demon is actually his mother Taeko Matsuzaki. She used to abuse him until one day she disappeared. Later, she came to him and asked him to kill her. He slit his mother’s mouth and stabbed her, then dressed her body up in a coat and mask, and hid it in the closet. He thought that would stop the demon but it has only led to decades of possession and torment for women and children.

Directed by Kōji Shiraishi, who wrote the movie with Naoyuki Yokota, this followed his movie Noroi: The Curse.

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman is one of the films on Arrow’s new J-Horror Rising set. It has extras including commentary by Japanese folklore expert Zack Davisson, a new interview with director Koji Shiraishi, a video essay by Japanese horror specialist Lindsay Nelson and an image gallery.

You can buy it from MVD.

ARROW VIDEO 4K ULTRA HD AND BLU RAY RELEASE: The Invasion (2007)

Warner Brothers hired David Kajganich to write they wanted to be a straight-forward remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but Kajganich changed the script to reflect contemporary times. I believe that each generation gets the body snatchers that it deserves, from the Cold War McCarthy menace of the 1950s, the end of the world gloom of the 1970s Invasion of the Body Snatchers and the gory yet doomed 1990s Body Snatchers.

The explanation for the aliens in this version is very scientific. A space Shuttle crash lets loose a fungus that is scattered across the country. It infects people and when they go to sleep, it reprograms them. CDC director Tucker Kaufman (Jeremy Northam) is the first to be changed and his ex-wife Carol Bennell (Nicole Kidman) notices that he has become someone else. One of her patients, Wendy Lenk (Veronica Cartwright), says the very same thing.

This film is way ahead of the conspiracy theories of today, as Kaufman uses a flu vaccine to further spread the alien contagion throughout the world. I’m shocked more Twitter — sorry, X, I forgot — users haven’t been screaming about how this movie was the government telling us what they were going to do.

Carol and Dr. Ben Driscoll (Daniel Craig) attend a dinner party where they witness the transformation of a human into an alien. By now, they’ve been doing research with Dr. Stephen Galeano (Jeffrey Wright) that shows that anyone who has had acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM) is immune from the aliens. Thanks to movie logic, this includes Carol’s son Oliver (Jackson Bond).

Carol is eventually infected but this also brings in a bit of Elm Street as you must stay awake or you will be an alien. Luckily, she remains alert and her son is the key to fixing things, even if the society that the human race returns to is violent and emotional, unlike the perfectly ordered world that the aliens promise.

Originally directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel as a nearly effects free invasion movie, the studio was unhappy and asked for The Wachowskis to rewrite and reshoot some of the movie. After a year of the movie not progressing any further, James McTeigue was hired to shoot action scenes. During these, Kidman was injured and broke her ribs. That said, she made $17 million off this.

Remember when I said that each generation gets the bodysnatchers it deserves? This one is very 2007. I can’t remember much of that time and it seemed that everything was being remade as a faster and less soulless version of what came before. It’s a great looking film, it has pleasant leads and it tries to be about the forces that rule the world. Yet it comes after three versions of Jack Finney’s story The Body Snatchers that each had a point of view about the world and how it needed to change. This one ends with no horrifying conclusion, just the pod people waking up as if they were in a dream. Compare that to the horrific closes of the 1970s and 1990s takes.

The Arrow Video release of The Invasion has so many extras, including audio commentary by film critics Andrea Subisati and Alexandra West, co-hosts of The Faculty of Horror podcast; visual essays by film scholars Alexandra Heller Nicholas and Josh Nelson; archival features from the 2007 release; a trailer; an image gallery; an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing by film critics William Bibbiani and Sally Christie; a reversible sleeve with original and newly commissioned artwork by Tommy Pocket and a double-sided fold out poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Tommy Pocket.

You can order this movie on UHD or blu ray from MVD.

ARROW 4K UHD RELEASE: Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

Inspired by Season’s Greetings, an animated short created by Trick ‘r Treat writer and director Michael Dougherty, this film tells the story of the night of Halloween in Warren Valley, Ohio. It’s nonlinear the way it all plays out (think Pulp Fiction) and several of the stories cross over. They all have one thing in common — Sam, a little trick or treater dressed in pajamas and a burlap sack for a mask. If anyone goes against the rules of the holiday, he’s there to ensure they pay for it.

I love the look of Sam. For the first part of the movie, I was sure he was just a little trick or treater who was left behind by his friends and was witnessing everything going on. Once you realize what he’s doing, you start rooting for the little guy.

From a couple who take down their decorations too soon to an obese boy who can’t stop smashing pumpkins, everyone gets their reward. There’s also the school principal and potential serial killer Steven Wilkins, the elderly recluse Mr. Kreeg (the always great Brian Cox), a gang of kids trying to frighten Rhonda with the Halloween School Bus Massacre urban legend and a group of four girls out to party (including Anna Paquin as a shy virgin). Each of their tales will all be intertwined, complete with murder, gore, werewolves, zombies and finally, Sam’s secret face.

This feels like the great lost 1980’s horror movie and I loved every single minute of it. They’ve been teasing a sequel for a few years and now I can’t wait for everyone to get their act together. Writer/director Michael Dougherty was also behind the film Krampus.

The Arrow Video limited edition Trick ‘r Treat release has a brand new 4K restoration by Arrow Films, approved by writer-director Michael Dougherty.

Extras include brand new audio commentary with writer-director Michael Dougherty moderated by James A. Janisse & Chelsea Rebecca from Dead Meat Podcast; an archival audio commentary by Michael Dougherty, conceptual artist Breehn Burns, storyboard artist Simeon Wilkins and composer Douglas Pipes; interviews with actor Quinn Lord, production designer Mark Freeborn, director of photography Glen MacPherson, costume designer Trish Keating and creature designer Patrick Tatopoulos; Mark Freeborn Remembers Bill Terezakis, a new tribute to the late make-up effects designer; archival features and interviews; Season’s Greetings, a short film from 1996 directed by Michael Dougherty with optional director commentary; school bus VFX comparison; deleted and alternate scenes with optional commentary by director Michael Dougherty; FEARnet promos; a Sam O’ Lantern; a storyboard and conceptual artwork gallery; behind the scenes gallery; a comic book set in the Trick ‘r Treat universe and a trailer.

It’s all inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Sara Deck and has a double-sided foldout poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Sara Deck, six postcard-sized artcards and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Becky Darke and Heather Wixson.

You can get this from MVD.