JUNESPLOITATION: Knowing (2009)

DAY 11: Disasters!

Is the Alex Proyas who directed this and Gods of Egypt the same guy who made The Crow and Dark City?

Because wow.

If you read the critics, they said things like ‘absurd,’ ‘messy,’ and ‘overly serious.’ But once I saw Nicholas Cage dodging a train and screaming at — spoilers! — aliens, well…this was for me.

It’s not good. But it’s for me.

Knowing is a mixtape from a maniac of every major disaster possible, leading up to an extinction-level solar flare. Plane crash? Got it. A prophetic time capsule in an elementary school that sages dates, death tolls and the exact coordinates of major disasters like the Oklahoma City bombing, September 11 and Hurricane Katrina? Sure, why not? It’s very America first in that way. And along the way, Cage and his family — his wife died in the first event — are there for so many end-of-the-world moments.

Rose Byrne is Diana, the daughter of Lucinda (Lara Robinson, who also plays daughter Abby), who made those prophecies. At some point, Cage thinks — yes, I will only refer to him as his name and not his character’s name — thinks he can stop the end of the world. 

I can only imagine that Proyas had a Road to Damascus moment, because this feels like a religious film, bringing in Matthäus Merian’s engraving of Ezekiel’s vision of a UFO, along with whispering alien angels who like to steal SUVs. 

Speaking of those critics — I’m not one, I’m just a dude who watches too many movies — hated the pivot from sci-fi thriller to cosmic, angel-infused religious allegory. I love how hard it swings for the fences. It goes from “MIT Professor solves a riddle” to “Interstellar Arks and White Trees of Life” in about 20 minutes. It’s bold, it’s bananas, and it doesn’t give a fuck what you think. It’s like Proyas saw Signs and said, “I can raise you a twist, M. Night.”

Most people will tell you it’s a failure because the science is absolute bunk.

Look, if you’re coming to a movie where Nicolas Cage spends two hours deciphering numbers on a closet door to figure out when the world is going to end, and you’re expecting a lecture from Neil deGrasse Tyson, you’re barking up the wrong tree. 

Proyas said at a press conference for the film, “The science was important.” I wanted to make the movie credible. So, of course, we researched as much as we could and tried to give it as much authenticity as we could.”

Well, let’s just say the real-world scientists didn’t exactly hand out a gold star.

The critics were waiting with their calculators and textbooks, and they had a field day. Ian O’Neill over at Discovery News pointed out the obvious: those solar flares aren’t exactly going to turn our cities into charcoal. That’s just not how physics works, folks. Then you’ve got Erin McCarthy of Popular Mechanics, who called the movie out for mixing up actual science with straight-up numerology. She rightly noted that the film confuses mathematical modeling—the stuff that actually runs our world—with mystical, occult-style number crunching.

The IMDb goofs page for this is, as you’d expect, packed.

Maybe they also reacted to the tone shifts, which are violent mood swings. It’s grim, it’s moody, and it features one of the most hilariously nihilistic endings in modern cinema as — spoiler — everyone dies right after Cage makes up with his angry old father. 

Then the kids ride those space arks to a place where the Tree of Life lives. 

The end.

Who the hell came up with this idea?

The road to the screen is often messier than the movies themselves. Back in 2001, novelist Ryne Douglas Pearson walked into a room with producers Todd Black and Jason Blumenthal. His pitch was a total hook: imagine a 1950s time capsule being opened, only to reveal a list of every major disaster that’s happened since, and it ends with the cryptic “EE,” standing for “Everyone Else.” 

Naturally, the majors got their hands on it first. It was set up at Columbia Pictures, and for a minute there, it was a hot potato. You had guys like Rod Lurie and Donnie Darko’s Richard Kelly attached to direct. Can you imagine a Richard Kelly version of this? Southland Tales follow-up? Please, Mandala Effect, activate.

Writers Stiles White and Juliet Snowden were to take a crack at the script before Proyas came on. He was hooked because the script wasn’t just a disaster flick; it was a character study about how knowing your own end date would absolutely wreck your life.

But guess what? As wild and critically hated as this was, it made $80 million on a $50 million budget. Guess who liked it? Roger Ebert. He gave it four out of four stars and proclaimed, “Knowing is among the best science-fiction films I’ve seen—frightening, suspenseful, intelligent and, when it needs to be, rather awesome.”

In short: Cage gets apophenia, starts seeing patterns in everything, it rips off a lot of Childhood’s Endyells stuff like “I’m not saying that 81 people are going to die tomorrow, okay? I’m just trying to understand why this is saying they will!” and it ends with him answering his dad like this:

Rev. Koestler: This isn’t the end, son.

John Koestler: I know.

If he had said knowing instead of know, I might have suddenly run into the streets of my small city and screamed, “KNOWING!” as if Pee-Wee had said the secret word.

Proyas hasn’t made a movie — outside of shorts — since Gods of Egypt, but he has said he’s making his own version of R.U.R., which would be interesting after I, Robot. I’m lining up for the first day because he has the insane energy I want. 

I also understand why normal people would absolutely hate this.

Two hundred solar flares out of five.

You can watch this on Tubi.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Preacherman Meets Widderwoman (1973)

After the original film, Preacherman raked in a cool $5 million. Albert T. Viola brought back the character of Amos Huxley, a backwoods con man posing as a man of the cloth, to stir up more trouble. In this installment, our hero finds his match in five-time widow Alzena Suggs (Marian Brown). It’s classic grindhouse structure: take a guy who thinks he’s the smartest person in the room, throw him into a situation where he’s totally out of his depth and watch the sparks fly. 

So yeah, this starts right where the last one ends, asuxley (Viola), fresh off a motel getaway with the mysterious lady in red, runs from the police. Soon, he falls for the widderwoman of the title, a woman who has married and buried five. She’s rich, attractive and has a hot daughter, Willie Mae (Jeramie Rain), who steals watermelons for a living. Don’t tell Vince Majestyk.

Unlike the original, this one was based on two plays by Chet McIntyre: Poor Rudolph and Feather and the Bell. You have to wonder—were there really stage plays dedicated to the Preacherman back then, or did they just shoehorn him into these plots? 

While the original got a second wind thanks to Troma’s 1983 theatrical re-release, Widderwoman got stuck with a PG rating and seemed to vanish outside the Southern drive-in circuit. It is, without a doubt, the most North Carolinian movie you’ll find, a regional curio packed with hillbilly caricatures and humor that only a drive-in crowd could love. And by that, I mean me.

Viola plays Amos Huxley with a level of demented conviction so true that you’d swear this guy was a real snake-oil salesman, not a Brooklyn-born playwright. He even goes so far as to decline an onscreen credit, billing the role asAmos Huxley…as himself.Despite this being a vanity production, he’s actually pretty generous with screen time. Jeramie Rain is a standout as the no-nonsense Willie Mae—a role that fits right in alongside her turn as Sadie in Last House on the Left. Interestingly, she used the pseudonymSue Davishere, which is a bit of a mystery since she used her real name in films she reportedly loathed.

And then there’s the mystery of Rebecca Payson (who plays Armanda). Some think that she’s actually Deborah Loomis, who was in Blood Bath and Hercules in New York. The scandal sheets tried to track Loomis down when Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor, hoping for dirt, but she was untraceable. If the New York Post couldn’t find her, what chance do I have? 

Viola would go on to write one more movie, The Night They Robbed Big Bertha’s

You can watch this on YouTube.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: The Pink Garter Gang (1971)

Directed by one-and-done director Jimmy Murphy, who co-wrote it with The Killers screenwriter Ray Chavez Vegas, The iInk Garter Gang is, as the poster tells us, all about Billy Boy and his five girl gang and they’re wired for action! They rob for kicks, fortune and thrills!

Some of the ads also say, “These hot pants chicks mean trouble!” and “SEE the 140 M.P.H. getaway… wildest chase ever filmed!”

It’s got ten watches on Letterboxd and I had to pay $12 for a copy from DVD Lady, so allow me to take you through it.

You’ve got Mick Mehas (The Girls from Thunder Strip, Hell’s Chosen Few, The Cycle Savages), Saxon Chase, Bruce Kimball (Drive-In Massacre, Fangs), Deborah Darnell (one of Count Yorga‘s vampire women), Tanye Morgan (Targets) and Ann Martell heading up the cast, but the real “wait, is that…?” moment comes when you see Paul Gleason on the screen. Yeah, the same guy who played Vernon, the nightmare principal in The Breakfast Club, is in here. So is Keith Carradine as a surfer.

We do at least start with a girl in a mini-dress with a pink garter. Don’t get used to her. She isn’t around long. But there is a guy with a gang of five women, just as the sales copy promised us. And we do get a biker gang, which includes Roach, Bongos (who doesn’t play them), their leader Splinter (who isn’t a mutant rat) and Kimball, who brags of never taking a bath.

This is less biker movie and more people hanging out in wood-paneled dives and going to the beach. And the pink garter does show up, around twenty minutes in, while a song that sounds like a ripoff of “The Candy Man Can” plays over and over.

This gang wears black track suits, kind of like they’re a thrash band in the 1980s more than bikers. This also has one of the best narrative shifts I’ve ever seen, where a dying cop says, “I have a daughter. I mean, I had a daughter,” as we cut to a bunch of hippies smoking thai sticks while bikers gather around a concert for the band Rain Forest that probably is going to be more Altamont than Woodstock. The cop’s daughter is getting double teamed by Splinter and his gang, as they laugh about it by way of ADR. “They were the ones that picked her up and turned her on,” says the stoic lawman. “I couldn’t prove it, but I know it was them.”

Once we see the cops start chasing that silver Corvette of our heroes and police start crashing and dying, it’s only a matter of time before this all ends like so many early 70s films. Biker films, especially. Easy Rider set the bar. As Adam in Werewolves On Wheels said, “We all know how we’re gonna die, baby… we’re gonna crash and burn!”

But no! At the end, after some gunfights and chases, Billy Boy just leaves and an angry matronly lady just walks off as his boat sails off to the sound of that “Candy Man” bootleg. One of the girls waves goodbye just in time to fake me out again.

Spoiler: Billy Boy’s boat — well, it’s an insert stock shot probably from another movie — blows up real good.

In Warped and Faded, Lars Nilsen said, “Without a doubt, the rarest biker movie we ever played. There were dozens of these things making a constant circuit through the U.S. Late in the cycle, the occasional token new film like The Pink Garter Gang was popped into a “Cycle Carnival” triple or quadriple feature alongside classics like Devil’s Angels and Hell’s Angels On Wheels. People never seemed to get tired of watching scuzzy scooter trash behaving inappropriately, and from all indications, this is a chip off the oold engine block. Expect blasting fuzz guitars, endless scenes of bikers riding through square towns, hair-pulling cat fights, a lot of beer drinking, smooching and — in all likelihood — a biker named Mouse, Speed or Acid.”

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Poor Pretty Eddie (1975)

I rarely watch a movie that gets on the very verge of upsetting me. Poor Pretty Eddie is that rare film that pushed me pretty far and made me feel somewhat upset while watching, which ended up making me keep going and enjoy the end results. It’s not an easy watch, but it’s amazing that this movie even exists.

Most of the makers of this film were employed in the adult film industry, with Poor Pretty Eddie representing their chance to go straight. Backing came from Michael Thevis, the notorious Atlanta-based “King of Pornography,” who owned a record company named GRC, a chain of sex shops and a company that manufactured peep show booths. In fact, the rock band Flood recorded the soundtrack for the martial arts movie Blood of the Dragon in his Sound Pit Studio on Atlanta’s Simpson Street, which also saw country singer Moe Bandy, dance sensation Loleatta Holloway and country songwriter and the author of the three million record selling “Chevy Van” Sammy Johns — as well as R&B acts like Ripple, the Rhodes Kids, King Hannibal and Sam Dees — all record there. He also published a series of pornographic novels that were written by Ed Wood under the name Donna D. Dildo.

Producing a legit movie allowed Thevis to launder money that he had made through shadier dealings, which brought the FBI in. Shortly after the film was released, he was jailed on a variety of charges and then escaped prison in 1978, ending up on the FBI’s most-wanted list. He had already put a contract out on the life of the man who had given the police all the info they needed to put him away. While on the lam, he tracked down that man — Roger Dean Underhill — and killed him and another associate. He bragged about it in prison, and fellow prisoners ratted him out.

In 1980, Michael Thevis, the so-called “Scarface of Porn,” who once owned nearly half of the industry and made $100 million a year ($311 million today when adjusted for inflation), was sentenced to spend 28 years to life in the Oak Park Heights Correctional Facility, an underground penitentiary outside of Minneapolis and eventually the United States Penitentiary in Atlanta. His palatial home was eventually sold to Whitney Houston. In 2013, he died of heart and respiratory failure. This Daily Beast article on his life is required reading.

Poor Pretty Eddie was written by B. W. Sandefur, who is mostly known for his TV writing and producing. In fact, he was behind one of the oddest series of the early 1980’s, NBC’s Cliffhangers, which featured three different stories that all began in the middle. Stop Susan WilliamsThe Secret Empire and The Curse of Dracula were all eventually released theatrically in Europe — with extra material added.

Loosely based on Jean Genet’s play The Balcony and directed by David Worth (Kickboxer) and Richard Robinson (whose films include Is There Sex After Marriage and Adultery for Fun & Profit ), this film is shocking even today.

The Turner Classic Movies article on the film hits it right on the head. They describe Eddie as such: “A sleazy exploitation thriller with artistic pretensions, the film manages to be offensive, crude and inept in equal measure while still succeeding as a compulsive viewing experience for connoisseurs of fringe cinema who think they’ve seen everything.”

We start at the University of Georgia, where Liz Wetherly (Leslie Uggams, who older readers will know from Roots and younger ones will know from the Deadpool movies) is performing the national anthem. There’s a cut to her car driving down a country road, and we hear her say, “Look, I have two weeks before my next concert. Now I’m going to get in my car and drive until I find a nice, quiet hole to crawl into.”

Be careful what you wish for.

After his car breaks down, Liz rents a cabin for the night — so she thinks — while the gigantic handyman Keno (Ted Cassidy, who was Lurch on The Addams Family, as well as the second actor to play Bigfoot on The Six-Million Dollar Man after Andre the Giant. He was also the narrator for The Incredible Hulk and provided the voices for Godzilla, Frankenstein Jr., The Thing, Moltar, Metallus, Black Manta and Brainiac for various Hanna-Barbera cartoons.)

Somehow, she ends up stuck for days thanks to the machinations of Eddie (Michael Christian, TV’s Peyton Place), a lothario who has already ensnared motel owner Bertha (Shelley Winters, who was in so many movies where she ran a house of ill repute, at least in my imagination, as well as the killer mother of an alien child in a role that doesn’t add up in another astonishingly bonkers Atlanta-based movie, The Visitor). Strangely enough, in the filmed version of the aforementioned Genet play, Winter played nearly the same role. Yet here, she plays it as a once gorgeous showgirl stuck remembering the past through the haze of alcohol, trying in vain to hold on to her man. Of note, Winters was paid in cash for her role and nearly died when her private plane almost crashed upon landing in Atlanta.

Not only does Eddie want Liz for carnal reasons, but he also thinks she can help him in his career as a country singer. He spends much of the film dressed in Elvis jumpsuits and warbling his way through ballads. And oh yeah — he eventually assaults our heroine and then subjects her to further torture, like forcing her to please a traveling salesman and eating Keno’s dog.

Liz finally gets the courage to turn in Eddie, which leads to Sheriff Orville (Slim Pickens!)  asking her, “Did he bite ya on the tittie?” and making her submit to a public trial in a crowded VFW/bar as locals gasp that a black woman is in their midst. Drunken proprietor Floyd (Dub Taylor, a cowboy star and former Clemson Tide football player, who is in all manner of redneck films like Thunderbolt and Lightfoot…tick…tick…tick…, Evel KnievelGatorCreature from Black LakeThe Great Smokey Roadblock and Moonshine County Express) then conducts a trial in front of an assembled crowd of drunken locals, many of whom appear disturbingly disturbed, that ends with Liz stripped nude and crying.

The film’s montage sequences are some of the most disturbing I’ve sat through, including Eddie assaulting Liz to the sounds of a country love song intercut with two dogs humping, as well as a scene where she takes photos of him near a waterfall, imagining her camera is a shotgun and that he is covered in blood and gore.

It all climaxes with a wedding where Eddie and Liz are to be wed, which ends in a slow-motion Sam Peckinpah-style gun battle as Keno blasts his way in for revenge over his dog, and everyone gets caught in the crossfire. The film ends with Liz, her life ruined and not enhanced by this escape from her busy life, raising a shotgun to murder Bertha.

Also known as Black Vengeance, The Victim, Heartbreak Motel and Redneck County Rape, the film played drive-ins and grindhouses for nearly a decade. The Heartbreak Motel version features plenty of differences, as Eddie narrates the movie and action scenes have been cut out and replaced with lengthy soliloquies that don’t appear in any other version of the film. Instead of ending with the gun battle, Heartbreak Motel closes with Eddie leaving Georgia for Nashville and a recording contract. There are fewer scenes of Eddie attacking Liz, but, strangely enough, there is one where Eddie and Bertha make, umm, third input love to the haunting strains of a bluegrass ballad.

To say that critics — especially in Atlanta — disliked this film is an understatement.

The 1970s were packed with films that you are kind of, sort of horror movies, yet feature no supernatural elements. They just made you feel like you needed to take an entire day’s worth of showers to clean off the scum after watching them. This is one hell of an addition to those movies. It’s not for everyone, but for those who want to see how low exploitation can go, it’s ready to attack your sensibilities.

You can watch this on Tubi.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Polk County Pot Plane (1977)

In August of 1975, a bizarre chapter in Polk County, Georgia history was written.

A large cargo plane loaded with marijuana crash-landed, and no one could figure out how to remove it. More than four decades later, the incident remains one of the strangest and most memorable events in the county’s history.

What followed that summer night involved a hijacked cargo aircraft, an international drug-smuggling operation and a chain of events that thrust quiet Polk County into the center of a story that seemed more suited to a Hollywood crime thriller than rural Georgia. Yet for the residents who witnessed it, the Pot Plane incident was very real.

The New York Times reported on it, saying “In normal times, Seals W. Swafford, the sheriff of Rolk County up in the North Georgia hills just across the Alabama state line, spends most of his time worrying about how to oversee 313 square miles of territory with just two deputies to serve papers and keep cars moving on the two highways into and out of town.

“Our main problem in Polk County is traffic,” says the 46‐year‐old sheriff, a taciturn but amiable man. “A grave problem. Then we get this airplane. . .”

“This airplane” is a red, white and blue, 93‐foot, four-engine DC‐4 cargo plane that rests incongruously at the end of a rutted, stump‐lined field on the top of a nearby mountain in the middle of nowhere.

The plane landed on the night of Aug. 3 with a cargo of marijuana, and now no one knows quite how to get it out. Meanwhile, it has become something of a tourist attraction.”

Former Army pilot Robert G. Eby was arrested, along with four co-defendants, as the pilot for the Douglas C-54 Skymaster in a field that had been cut into a dense wooded area. This strip’s lights? A string of 100-watt lightbulbs. The operation was part of a much larger drug-smuggling network that had transported thousands of pounds of marijuana and hashish from Colombia into the United States using surplus military aircraft. Although police seized part of the shipment and linked the plane to a massive trafficking operation, prosecutors were unable to prove Eby was the pilot.

The case ultimately fell to pieces due to insufficient admissible evidence. Not even any sticks and stones? Well, whatever, as the abandoned plane remained stranded on the mountain and became a local curiosity after authorities struggled to figure out how to remove it.

According to Secret Handshake Cinema, that’s where James West Jr. comes in. He was an ex-Marine who became a maverick politician, passing a law that allowed women to conceal carry guns in their purses and flying into work every day via helicopter.

He bought the plane, the mountain and access to all of the men who pulled off this crime — all to make this movie.

If you’ve ever sat around wondering what would happen if two guys who looked like they’d been auditioning for a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie position since 1973 were handed a script about the Dixie Mafia and a plane affectionately dubbed Big Bird, then stop what you’re doing. You’ve found your movie.

The film introduces us to Oosh (Don Watson) and Doosh (Bobby Watson). These guys aren’t actors; they are forces of nature. With full beards, wild hair and thick Southern drawls that make Boomhauer from King of the Hill sound like he’s practicing for a Shakespearean monologue, the Watson brothers are the beating heart of this flick. They don’t have careers in this movie; they just exist. They smoke, they drink, they drive too fast, and they work for the local drug kingpins.

Oosh and Doosh, who help pilot Big Bird, a DC-4 cargo plane, onto a makeshift mountaintop airstrip in rural Georgia. After unloading a shipment of marijuana into an RV, they are immediately pursued by local law enforcement in a chaotic series of crashes involving police cars, a bulldozer and their own battered vehicle. The pair is eventually arrested and jailed after the shipment is lost and their escape attempt fails.

Rather than eliminate them for botching the operation, a group of local crime bosses decides to break Oosh and Doosh out of jail and send them on another smuggling run. The duo is dramatically rescued from a prison rooftop by helicopter and soon finds themselves involved in more over-the-top adventures, including a massive tractor-trailer chase that destroys police cruisers and culminates in a semi-truck smashing through a house. After accumulating a large debt to their criminal employers, Oosh and Doosh rob an armored car in an attempt to make things right, leading to a shootout, more casualties and yet another high-speed pursuit.

That climactic scene where our heroes break out of jail via a helicopter, dangling for their dear lives hundreds of feet above a small Georgia town? That’s not a green screen. That’s not a stunt double. That is Don and Bobby Watson holding on for dear life.

The film’s climax recreates the real-life landing of the famous pot plane on Treat Mountain. As a local radio announcer reports that the aircraft will be auctioned off, Big Jim himself pilots Big Bird back into the spotlight, taking off from the mountaintop runway and soaring into the sky. The movie ends by celebrating the legendary airplane and the local folklore surrounding its exploits, using a string of car crashes, stunts and chases to transform a true Georgia drug-smuggling incident into a good-ol’-boy action-adventure.

Beyond acting in the movie, Big Jim also directed and produced it.  The script came from Jim Clarke. This was the only film from both, but they had support from cameraman Allen Facemire (who shot hicksploitation classics like Cockfighter and Moonrunners before being the DP for Under the Rainbow), editor Angelo Ross (whose work on Smoky and the Bandit had to come in handy here; he also edited Who Killed Teddy Bear?The Cross and the SwitchbladeMr. No LegsKing Frat and the paintball slasher Masterblaster), producer Robert W. McClure (Hot Summer In Barefoot CountyTrucker’s Woman), cameraman William D. Barber (who also shot camera on Empire of the AntsCat PeopleFace/OffRsh Hour and so many more movies) and cameraman Jerry Crowder (DP on UFO: Target Earth and J.C.),

Re-released by Paragon Video as In Hot Pursuit, this movie is a fixture on Mill Creek sets.

PS: This post on House of Schlock is where some of the images came from and is packed with info, including the fact that this movie was shown on television as part of the late-night Movie Greats series and a rumor that High Times publisher Tom Forcade was involved with this movie. This is soon disproved in the comments, as an anonymous poster writes, “He never owned the rights to distribute the movie or to put it on tape. The movie appeared on VHS shortly after James I. West, Jr., handed over a copy to Tom’s people during negotiations.”

You can watch this on YouTube.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Point Blank (1967)

Yeah, Lee Marvin might be the coolest person to ever live.

And Point Blank?

This film has more swagger in its first five minutes than most modern action movies have all put together.

Marvin was in London filming The Dirty Dozen, but already had his sights set on his next move: an adaptation of Donald Westlake’s hard-boiled pulp classic, The Hunter. He sits down with director John Boorman to go over the script, and they reach the same conclusion almost immediately: it’s absolute trash.

But that character, Walker? That cold, unkillable force of nature? That was pure gold.

So, Marvin does what only Lee Marvin could get away with. He calls a meeting with the big brass at the studio, the producers, his agent, and Boorman. He walks into that room like he owns the place—because, let’s be honest, he did—and lays down the law. He asks if he has script approval. They nod yes. He asks if he has approval over the principal cast. They nod yes again.

Then, he said, “I defer all those approvals to John.”

Just like that, Boorman—a guy fresh off the boat and doing his very first Hollywood feature—is handed the keys to the kingdom. He had final cut, complete creative control and the total backing of the biggest tough guy in the business. That’s how you get a movie as uncompromising and weird as Point Blank

After being betrayed and left for dead by his partner on the abandoned rock of Alcatraz, Walker (Marvin) returns to Los Angeles like a ghost haunting his own life. He’s not just looking for his $93,000; he’s looking for something, anything and heaven help anyone who stands in his way.

This isn’t your grandfather’s detective story. Boorman used avant-garde techniques, fractured timelines and bold color palettes to create an atmosphere of existential torpor.

The story starts on Alcatraz. Walker and his buddy Mal Reese (John Vernon; Marvin didn’t think Vernon was strong enough to contend with him. Marvin then punched him in the stomach during a fight scene, causing the actor to yell that he was an actor, not a fighter.) pull off a massive heist, but Reese is a snake. He puts a few slugs in Walker, makes off with the loot and steals Walker’s wife, Lynne (Sharon Acker), for good measure.

Walker should be dead. Maybe he is — we’ll get to that.

Walker tracks Reese to a heavily guarded apartment, using Reese’s own lover, Chris (Angie Dickinson), as his inside woman. The scene where Reese goes over the balcony while clinging to a bedsheet? It’s pure, beautiful chaos. Walker then hits the high-level guys — Carter (Lloyd Bochner), Brewster (Carroll O’Connor) and the mysterious Fairfax (Keenan Wynn) —one by one. Every time he gets close to the money, it slips through his fingers, replaced by more violence.

The genius of the plot isn’t in the heist; it’s in the surreality. Walker’s confrontation with Chris at Brewster’s house is bizarre. One minute, she’s slapping him, taunting him through a speaker system, hitting him with a pool cue and then—boom—they’re in bed. It doesn’t make sense in a standard movie, but in this movie’s world, it’s the only thing that does.

And that ending? Walker hides in the dark, watching the hierarchy of The Organization cannibalize itself while the money just sits there on the ground. He doesn’t even take it. He just stands there, a phantom who’s done his job and has nowhere left to go.

Is Walker a man, a ghost or a manifestation of post-WWII trauma? Boorman keeps his cards close to his chest, and honestly, that’s what makes the movie work.

On the commentary track for this, Boorman said that another adaptation, Payback, was so poorly made that Mel Gibson must have used the original script he and Marvin had thrown away. Boorman was joined by Steven Soderbergh for that commentary, who said that Point Blank was “a film that I’ve stolen from so many times.”

Back to being cool. There are just some actors — and therefore, the characters they play — so effortlessly and effusively cool that we can’t believe they’re alive. Like Clint in High Plains Drifter and Pale Rider, that’s the only explanation our geeky and awkward minds can offer up as to why Marvin’s Walker can walk the same world as us.

JUNESPLOITATION: Hot Fuzz (2007)

DAY 10: Private Eyes!

Hot Fuzz isn’t just a blockbuster. It’s a masterclass in genre homage. It’s the kind of movie that feels like it was curated by a record store clerk who spent his entire teenage years alternating between Michael Bay blowouts and classic British murder mysteries. It’s loud, it’s bloody, it’s hilarious, and it’s absolute perfection.

Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is the ultimate super-cop. He’s so good, so efficient, and so damn professional that he’s making the rest of the Metropolitan Police look like a bunch of muppets. The solution? Ship him off to the sleepy, idyllic village of Sandford, Gloucestershire. The thinking is that if he’s bored to tears by paperwork and lost swans, he’ll just quit.

But Sandford isn’t just tea and crumpets. It’s a place where people keep dying in accidental ways—decapitations, gas explosions and conveniently falling masonry. Angel, paired with the bumbling, action-movie-obsessed Danny Butterman (Nick Frost), realizes something sinister is rotting beneath the village’s Village of the Year veneer.

Spoiler warning: It turns out the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance (NWA) is more of a murderous secret society than a concerned group of citizens, all obsessed with protecting their pristine town stats at any cost. It leads to one of the most glorious, over-the-top third acts in cinema history. Forget high-brow detective work; by the time the shotgun-wielding, sea-mine-toting finale kicks in, the movie transforms into the very thing it was paying tribute to.

Edgar Wright filled this thing with people we love. Keep your eyes peeled for Peter Jackson as a Father Christmas-clad slasher, Cate Blanchett as Angel’s ex, and Bill Nighy as the Chief Inspector. Just as much as the cameos are the references. Hot Fuzz is a massive love letter to Bad Boys II and Point Break, while the NWA constantly saying they’re doing things for the greater good makes them seem straight out of The Wicker Man

But it’s a real action movie, too! Simon Pegg and Nick Frost didn’t just phone it in. They trained with real firearms instructors and studied police procedures to ensure the action sequences looked legit, even when they were shooting while jumping through the air.

In a world of bloated, humorless action movies, Hot Fuzz stands tall. It understands that you can mock a genre’s tropes while simultaneously honoring them. It also has one of the grossest things I’ve seen, as Timothy Dalton falls face-first toward a miniature church steeple.

With references to A Fistful of DollarsThe French ConnectionMcQDeath WishThe Omen and Lost Highway, as well as a starring role for the video collections of director Edgar Wright, his brother Oscar and his friend Joe Cornish, this movie is a total joy of cinema for me. I’ve watched it more times than I can count and always come back for more.

JUNESPLOITATION: The Wages of Fear (1953)

DAY 9. Thrillers!

Forget your standard-issue action movies where the hero waltzes through gunfire with a quippy one-liner. Henri-Georges Clouzot’s The Wages of Fear is the cinematic equivalent of a panic attack stretched across two and a half hours. It makes modern thrillers look like Sunday afternoon cartoons.

We find our quartet of heroes — if you can call them that — rotting away in Las Piedras, a South American backwater that serves as a collective drain for the world’s losers. There’s Mario (Yves Montand), a sarcastic Corsican playboy; Jo (Charles Vanel), a washed-up Parisian gangster whose tough-guy veneer is paper-thin; Bimba (Peter van Eyck), a stoic German haunted by the death of his father in a concentration camp and Luigi (Folco Lulli), an Italian cook who has just received a death sentence in the form of a lung condition.

They are trapped, broke and desperate. When a massive fire erupts at a Southern Oil Company well, the corporation — which effectively owns the town and treats the locals like disposable biological hardware — offers $2,000 to anyone willing to drive two trucks loaded with unstable nitroglycerin over 500 kilometers of terrain that would terrify a mountain goat.

We don’t just watch the suspense. We’re passengers. The middle hour is a relentless, pulse-pounding crawl through a series of impossible obstacles, such as a stretch of road so poorly maintained it creates rhythmic vibrations guaranteed to trigger a detonation, a wooden platform that requires driving backward and a boulder blocking the path that requires a precision-timed blast, leading to the harrowing demise of Luigi and Bimba.

The dynamic between Jo and Mario is the film’s psychological core. As the trip progresses, Jo’s legendary gangster grit dissolves into pathetic cowardice, forcing Mario to reconcile his hero-worship of the older man with the reality that Jo is a liability, not a leader.

Everything about this production screams cinematic nightmare, which only adds to the grit on screen. Filming was paused for seven months due to financing issues. When it resumed, torrential rains hit, flooding the set and keeping the cast and crew trapped in a Nîmes hotel for over a month. Then, Clouzot broke his ankle, several dozen local Romani extras went on strike, and the pyrotechnics used for the oil fire sequence nearly turned the actual shooting location into a massive wildfire.

The legendary Jean Gabin famously turned down the role of Jo, fearing that playing a coward would ruin his image as a screen idol. We also almost missed out on Montand; both Gérard Philipe and Serge Reggiani were considered for the role of Mario. The role of Linda, Mario’s devoted and tragic lover, is played by Véra Clouzot, the director’s own wife, adding an intimate, mournful layer to the film’s cynical conclusion.

The film’s ending is the ultimate universe-is-laughing-at-you punchline. After surviving the literal impossible, the triumph is rendered utterly hollow by a moment of reckless, post-traumatic hubris. It’s a gut-punch that cements the film’s status as a bleak, existential work of art.

The Wages of Fear brought Clouzot international fame, winning both the Golden Bear and the Palme d’Or at the 1953 Berlin and Cannes Film Festivals, respectively. Its success allowed him to direct another film that has lived on past the director, Les Diaboliques.

If this all sounds familiar, well, it’s been remade several times, and its influence hasn’t always been called out. Violent Road AKA Hell’s Highway was directed by Howard W. Koch (GhostThe Odd Couple) and stars Brian Keith; a 2024 French Netflix remake and even an episode of MacGyver,Hellfire,in which MacGyver is thrust into an emergency when an oil well erupts into an uncontrollable fire, and he must traverse rugged terrain to retrieve volatile, aged dynamite from a remote mine.

The best-known remake is, of course, William Friedkin’s Sorcerer, which is more faithful to Georges Arnaud’s novel. Is it any happier? Let’s ask Friedkin:I wasn’t prepared for my success or failure. I felt … buffeted by fate without any control over destiny. That’s one of the themes of Sorcerer. No matter how much you struggle, you get blown up.

You can watch this on Tubi.

JUNESPLOITATION: Kung Fu Zombie (1981)

DAY 8: Zombies!

Pang (Billy Chong), a skilled martial artist, lands a local thug, Lu Dai, in jail after foiling a robbery. Upon his release, a vengeful Lu Dai hires a bumbling Taoist priest named Wu Lung to animate a small army of zombies to take down Pang.

Lu Dai is killed by his own trap, and his ghost haunts the priest, demanding to be resurrected. The priest attempts to put Lu Dai’s spirit into the corpse of a recently deceased serial killer, Kwan Wei Long. Because the killer is so evil, he returns as a powerful, free-willed vampire.

After Pang’s father — the man who trained him brutally all of his life to be a killing machine — dies, the priest tries to use his body to host Lu Dai’s spirit. The ritual is interrupted, resulting in the thug and the father sharing control of the body, forcing Pang to battle his own father’s reanimated corpse while also fighting the vampire.

You may dislike this for being incredibly cheap and for its erratic subtitle translations, such as calling corpses “salted fish.” Not me. I loved it.

Chong (born Chuang Chen Li) had an extensive career in both Hong Kong and Indonesia. Some of his other notable martial arts films include Jade ClawA Hard Way to DieKung Fu ExecutionerA Fistful of Talons and Kung Fu Beyond the Grave. Later in his career, he became a major household name in Indonesia, where he wrote, directed, and starred in several popular television series, including Deru Debu and Sapu Jagad.

Why do I love it? It has the balls to rip off Morricone’s Exorcist II: The Heretic score, has someone kick a man’s head clean off his body, and a vampire bad guy who not only comes out to the Bond theme but also has hands on fire. How did they do that effect? They set a man’s hands on fire, that’s how.

Oh yeah — director Shan Hua also made Portrait In CrystalBloody ParrotDynamo and Inframan. He knew what he was doing.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Murder, She Wrote S4 E4: Old Habits Die Hard (1987)

Jessica visits a convent to see a former sorority sister and winds up searching for a nun’s killer.

Season 4, Episode 4: Old Habits Die Hard (October 11, 1987)

Jessica arrives at a convent to visit an old college friend who is now a nun. As you’d expect, they soon discover that the convent’s unofficial record keeper has killed herself. At her friend’s request, Jessica promises to figure out how this death is connected to a young woman who sought refuge at the convent years ago, her dying father and the city’s mayor and his wife.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Eileen Brennan (Marian Simpson): You know her as Captain Lewis in Private Benjamin and Mrs. Peacock in Clue. Perhaps you always know her for her uncredited turn in The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking.

Cindy Fisher (Nancy Bates): Best known as Rebecca Miller on The Waltons, but she scored her permanent genre pass by starring in the 1982 killer-computer exploitation classic The Hideous Sun Demon reimagining, Hideous Sun Demon: The Special Edition and the sci-fi horror flick The Outing (aka The Lamp).

Clu Gulager (Ray Carter): A literal god of genre cinema. When he wasn’t playing Burt in The Return of the Living Dead, he was getting his face split open in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, battling subterranean monsters in Tremors or starring in the absolute masterpiece of 80s neon-slasher sleaze, The Initiation.

Evelyn Keyes (Sister Emily): Golden Age royalty who played Suellen O’Hara in Gone with the Wind. But she cemented her place in our hearts decades later as Mrs. Gordon in Larry Cohen’s A Return to Salem’s Lot.

Mark Keyloun (Mike Phelps): Best known for playing physical roles in 80s dramas like Mike’s Murder and Sudden Impact. He also popped up in the cult favorite TV movie The Midnight Hour, which is basically the ultimate 80s Halloween party captured on film.

Ed Nelson (Mayor Albert Simpson): The ultimate B-movie workhorse. He was the lead in Roger Corman’s A Bucket of Blood, battled giant leeches in Attack of the Giant Leeches and popped up in The Brain Eaters. If a movie had rubber monsters or cheap corn syrup in the 1950s, Ed was usually there trying to shoot it.

Scott Paulin (Dr. Marshall): He was Deke Slayton in The Right Stuff, but comic book geeks know him as the villainous Red Skull in Albert Pyun’s wonderfully unhinged 1990 Captain America. He also brought the creepiness to the 80s psychological horror-thriller The Unholy.

Jane Powell (Rev. Mother Claire): A massive MGM musical star from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. She was mostly way above the movies we like, but she did step into the world of TV-terror for the mystery-horror movie The Letters.

Robert Prosky (Bishop Patrick Shea): An incredible character actor from Thief, Mrs. Doubtfire and Broadcast News. Horror freaks know him best as Will Darnell, the cranky garage owner who gets crushed to death by a possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury in John Carpenter’s Christine.

Audrey Totter (Sister Paul): A legendary film noir femme fatale from The Set-Up and High Wall. She spent her later years doing TV, but she did her time in the psychological thriller trenches with William Castle’s The Chunky and The Carpetbaggers.

Sherri Stoner (Sarah Martino): She was the literal physical animation model for Ariel in The Little Mermaid and Belle in Beauty and the Beast. But before she became Disney royalty, she was in Reform School Girls.

Wendy Brainard (Amy): A steady 80s TV face seen on Family Ties. Her major contribution to cult was playing one of the teenagers in The Midnight Hour.

Fay DeWitt (Sister Mary-Margaret): A comedy legend from the theater scene who later popped up on Mork & Mindy. She also lent her comedic timing to the weirdo 1970s sex comedy The Great Sex War.

Carol Swarbrick (Sister Margaret-Marie): A regular procedural guest star who showed up in The Jeffersons and Matlock.

M’el Dowd (Sister Margaret-Mary): A Broadway powerhouse who played Guenevere in Camelot. Genre fans know her as the classy but sinister presence in the psychological thriller The Wrong Man and the oddball 70s drama The Third Cry.

Hunter Mackenzie Austin (Sister Anne): Credited here as Caroline Gilshian. She mostly did high-octane 80s television guest spots, appearing in The A-Team and Riptide.

Len Felber (Garden Party Guest): Keep your eyes peeled for Len in the background. He is a legendary uncredited Hollywood background staple who has put on a tuxedo for everything from Die Hard to Ghostbusters.

Linda Harmon (Nun): An uncredited background sister who also popped up doing vocal work and background scenes across a dozen 80s sitcoms.

What happens?

Jessica takes a break from the mean streets of Cabot Cove to visit her old Kappa Delta sorority sister, Claire, who has traded college mixers for a habit, now serving as the Reverend Mother at the Immaculate Heart Convent. Where is this convent, you ask? Well, the script says Bergen Falls, Louisiana, which doesn’t exist. The character’s name-drop Shreveport, Blanchard and Grand Bayou, pinning it to the northwest corner of the state. But then the Mother Superior complains about having the scrawniest tomatoes east of the Mississippi, which means the writers completely forgot how geography works, or they accidentally set the episode in a tiny, swampy slice of southeastern Louisiana. Either way, it was actually filmed at the Ramona Convent Secondary School in Alhambra, California, which was tragically wrecked by the Whittier Narrows earthquake just ten days before this episode aired.

Naturally, because J.B.  is a walking harbinger of doom, she barely gets her bags unpacked before a young novice named Sarah (Sherri Stoner, the actual physical model for Disney’s Ariel!) finds elderly Sister Emily dead in her room. Novice Sarah didn’t just get the calling. She’s hiding from a pathologically obsessed ex-boyfriend who stalks the perimeter daily and even stole her Celtic cross.

She’s safe, or as safe as someone on Murder She Wrote can be. The convent locks down tighter than a maximum-security prison from 6:00 PM until morning. No one could get in. Or could they? Jessica spots the psycho boyfriend wearing Sarah’s stolen cross and realizes there’s a secret, unmapped entrance into the cloister. Jessica and the local Bishop walk in on Dr. Marshall aggressively tossing Sister Emily’s filing cabinet. Turns out he’s not a ghoul; he just knew her raised pill dosage couldn’t have killed her and was looking for the bottle to prove it wasn’t a suicide.

The twist? Enter the local political machine. Mayor Albert Simpson and his high-speed, mile-a-minute-talking wife, Marian, get involved. She seems more invested in her husband’s career than he is. But the second a sleazy private eye starts snooping around, asking about a mysterious girl named Linda Stone, Marian completely shuts up. It turns out Linda Stone had a son she claimed was fathered by a soldier killed in Vietnam. Well, that kid was actually the product of a secret affair with the mayor 15 years ago. Sister Emily knew the truth and knew where the mother was hiding. If that gets out, Simpson’s political future is headed for the garbage disposal.

Who did it?

When the cops try to write it off as a tragic suicide, Jessica knows that the water pitcher in Sister Emily’s room was completely full. If the poor nun had swallowed a fatal dose of Metholityl (side effects include sudden-onset 80s hair expansion, fictional organ failure, swelling of the perenium, wimple lust, knee pain, throat pain and pain), she would have needed a glass of water to wash it down. Sister Emily didn’t drink a thing. She was held down and given a lethal injection.

The killer? Marian Simpson murdered to keep her husband’s skeleton in the closet. She slipped into the convent, injected the ailing nun, stole a photo of the illegitimate child’s mother to destroy the evidence and then stole an extra nun’s habit to disguise herself and sneak back out through the locked gates.

Who made it?

Welcome back, director John Llewellyn Moxey. This episode was written by Chris Manheim, who worked on Xena: Warrior Princess.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No. If this episode were a few seasons later, she’d be in the habit.

Was it any good?

Yes, even if, in the end, we have no idea what happened to anyone else.

Any trivia?

Eileen Brennan and Clu Gulager were in The Last Picture Show together.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Bishop Shea, we couldn’t have done it without your blessing.

Bishop Patrick Shea: Well, yes, that, that’s true, isn’t it? Oh. There’s one more thing that you can do for me before you go.

Jessica Fletcher: Oh, what’s that?

Bishop Patrick Shea: Try to impress on your dear old friend here the obligation of obedience. She is a troublemaker, you know.

Jessica Fletcher: I’m afraid that is your problem. And a delightful one you’re going to have to deal with for a long, long time.

What’s next?

A business tyrant’s sudden death puts Jessica on the trail of several of his suspicious company executives. Richard Jaekel! Joanne Pettet! Nancy Dussault!