EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s movie is brought to you by Steve Shinners, who subscribed at the Big B&S’er tier.

Would you like me to write about the movies of your choice? It’s simple!

1. Visit Ko-Fi.
2. Join as a monthly member for just $1. That makes you a Little B&S’er.
3. As a Medium B&S’er at just $3 a month, if you pick a movie or a director, I’ll write about them for you. In fact, I’ll do one for each month you subscribe and even dedicate the post to you.
4. For $5 a month, you basically get some major power. As a Big B&S’er, I’ll write an entire week on any subject you’d like. Every month, if you’d like.

Steve asked me to get to this movie and described it this way: “It’s everything that was bad about Australian movies from that period. Characters turned up to 11, and accents that were what a private school boy thought “real” Australiana sounded like. The fact that the lead thought he was going to be a global superstar makes it all the more perplexing.”

World famous hair metal impresario and eco-warrior Black Alice (Rob Hartley, who was also in a short that inspired this movie called Knightmare (co-directed by Yahoo Serious!), using the name Black Alice; that’s also the name of the band, which had Hartley on vocals, Jamie Page playing guitar, Vince Linardi on bass and Joe Demasi playing the drums. They released the album Endangered Species before breaking up, but reformed for this movie with Andy Cichon on bass, Scott Johnson on drums, Paul Radcliffe on keyboards and guitar, and Hartley and Page. They have been imprisoned in a stasis hologram by the dictatorial leaders of OCEANA, a corporate entity that now owns Australia. 

After the death of a lover, Black Alice is trapped in endless slumber until Alice is accidentally freed 113 years later. He finds a wasteland where Sydney was vaporized after the peace ferry he was supposed to be on collided with the nuclear sub. Now, he must travel backward in time to fix everything. He is aided by two barbarian warriors, X and J, and a sentient motorcycle called The Shine. He has only 10 hours before his physical body decomposes into smegma.

You may hate every minute of this, but it’s a movie where nearly everyone is wearing face paint. One that starts with a cover of Thunderclap Newman’s “Something In The Air” and ends up being a musical. I have an absurd weakness for the late 80s world of post-apocalyptic visions, kind of like Road Warrior by way of Italy by way of Rinse Dream. It doesn’t hurt that Black Alice sounds like Bowie by way of sleazy late 80s glam metal. Just imagine if bands like D.A.D., Zodiac Mindwarp or the Dogs D’Amour got to make a film of their own! Throw in some ancient CGI, sword and sorcery moments and attractive women in lab coats, and you have a movie!

Director and writer Gary Keady co-produced Black Alice’s Endangered Species album with Steve James (not the action film actor), and it was originally released in the UK before coming out in Australia. According to the Encyclopedia of Australian Rock and Pop, the band indulged in “…the world of sword and sorcery with tracks like ‘Blade of Slaughter,” “In the Hall of the Ancient Kings” and “Man of Metal” (an ode to bushranger Ned Kelly).

Keady even wrote a review of the film on IMDb: “I’m probably biased as I wrote and directed the film. It had its moments. It was a hard film to make. I had to rewrite the original script only six weeks prior to principal photography due to budgetary changes. In a lot of ways the film paid the price for being a first in Australia. It was the first film to be shot employing digital live sync sound and thus pathed the way for others. Sons of Steel was shot at night, at times a mile or more underground Sydney in World War II bunkers (Gen. McArthur’s). It was a tough eight week shoot and in retrospect an difficult task for a first time director. I’m proud of what we tried to do with as little funding as we had. We put a lot of quality up on the screen. Those who I was fortunate enough to work with gave the film a first class look and me first class experience. Some find the story hard to follow, and that would be because so much of it wasn’t shot because of bad scheduling, and plenty ended up on the edit floor for one reason or another. I’m sure that’s generally taken as a directors excuse for a flawed film, perhaps so, but then again maybe I’m right. I did live through the experience of not only writing it a number of times but raising the finance, writing much of the music, directing it and selling it around the world. And for that experience I am eternally thankful.. I hope I can improve with the next picture, and I hope those who see Sons of Steel are entertained enough to appreciate it and perhaps look out for my next film.”

This is a cult movie without a cult, and I’d like to change that! Sure, it doesn’t really have a likeable lead character, but when has that ever stopped us before? Virtually every character looks like they’re auditioning for a glam metal band or a Mad Max reboot, including the corporate drones. It also has a lizard monster named The Freak, with the biggest lizard cock you’ve ever seen. Sure, the acting isn’t all that great, but there’s so much fog that Lucio Fulci was like, “Ha bisogno di tutta questa nebbia?”

You can get this from Vinegar Syndrome or watch it on YouTube.

DMX broke through in the late ’90s with hits like Ruff Ryders’ Anthem, and It’s Dark & Hell Is Hot and had one of the most recognizable voices in hip hop. In this TMZ on Tubi doc, Harvey Levin, Charles Latibeaudiere and Towanda Robinson discuss the impact of his music and persona on pop culture and how his death in 2023 continues to impact fans. 

“All I know is pain, all I feel is rain

How can I maintain with that shit on my brain?”

So much of DMS’s raps are in my brain years after he said them. He was a conflicted person, someone who couldn’t escape drugs but who would help people. There’s a great story in this about him helping clean at a restaurant long after he became a big star. 

DMX’s life was a series of intense highs and lows, a struggle he wore on his sleeve. He rose from a brutal upbringing in a New York that felt like a war zone at the time, enduring hardships that Harvey Levin describes as beyond words. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

TMZ is always there, ready for celebrities to screw up and then have the video for their site and TV show. In this special, they’re taking that content all over again to re-embarass people and make even more money.

Starting with Michael Richards at The Laugh Factory, this goes through the what and why of some of Hollywood’s wildest moments that were captured on video. Remember Jay-Z, Beyonce and her sister Solange fighting in an elevator? Or a German Shepherd in distress while filming a scene for A Dog’s Purpose? 

Then we have Justin Bieber pissing in a bucket, getting upset about not getting a model helicopter and all the things he did when he was being a teenager. Reese Witherspoon is getting busted for a DUI. Britney Spears getting bumped by a basketball player.

This, like all the Tubi TMZ specials, is just people sitting on a couch and talking down on the very people who they get paid to be the parasites of. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

I love that TMZ is getting paid by Tubi just for having its crew sit on a couch and talk about celebrities. This time, it’s Arianna Grande, who took her four-octave vocal range from Broadway to two Nickedolian series before becoming a huge music star with songs like “Thank U, Next” and “Bang Bang.” Today, she’s in movies like Wicked and is one of the biggest music artists of all time with estimated sales of over 90 million records.

Anyone shocked by her dating history should just listen to one of the songs I mentioned above, “Thank U, Next,” in which she sings “Thought I’d end up with Sean/ But he wasn’t a match/ Wrote some songs about Ricky/ Now I listen and laugh/ Even almost got married/ And for Pete, I’m so thankful/ Wish I could say “Thank you” to Malcolm/ ‘Cause he was an angel,” which references boyfriends Big Sean, Ricky Alvarez, Pete Davidson and Mac Miller.

Grande can’t even get on her TikTok without causing controversy. Just this weekend, she was online with a face mask, and fans started to post that she’s had plastic surgery and was changing her appearance. 

Anyways — I hate everyone at TMZ because I get the feeling they think they’re kingmakers. The way the staff sits around eating snacks while deciding if a celebrity’s marriage is on the rocks feels intentionally designed to make the viewer feel like they’re part of an in-crowd. I guess they should do a special Tubi episode about how Epstein wrote that “Harvey Levin, who runs TMZ, is a good friend.”

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed by Shaun Silva (who also directed Jason Aldean’s video for “Try That In a Small Town”) and written by Travis J. Opgenorth, this stars Zack Roerig as lawman John Dorsey, who is about to lose not only his job but his wife to his deputy, Danny Raise (Britton Webb). Against his will, he teams with U.S. Marshall Butch Hayden (Billy Zane) to hold outlaw Emily Rusk (Cara Jade Myers) hostage. A battle of wills ensues as Emily turns the posse on themselves, but as her marauding husband Kyle (Scott Adkins!) and his gang get closer, Emily and John realize they will need each other to survive.

Hayden and Rusk have already had a shootout at a motel, and the body count is piling up. Hayden is even using Big Buck’s (Trace Adkins) biker gang as part of his militia. Beyond Adkins, the inclusion of Yelawolf and Struggle Jennings (grandson of Waylon Jennings) gives the film a distinct outlaw-country texture that complements the Southern Gothic vibe of the motel shootouts and biker militias.

Nearly a Western, this has all the twists and turns you’d expect and maybe a few you won’t. While the marketing pushes the action, the meat of the story is the Stockholm Syndrome-adjacent dynamic between Zack Roerig and Cara Jade Myers as the lines of morality blur because the hero is essentially a man who has already lost his dignity at home. By the time the gang closes in, the film shifts from a chase movie into a siege film, reminiscent of Assault on Precinct 13 or 3:10 to Yuma.

Scott Adkins is widely considered one of the best modern martial arts stars (the Boyka series, John Wick 4), so seeing him as a marauding husband is interesting. He has only one fight scene, which is strange and may not be the best use of him. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

Match is directed by Danishka Esterhazy, who remade Slumber Party Massacre. It’s all about Paola (Humberly González), whose first date with a man she met online takes place inside a terrifying house and involves a way-too-long tea with his mother, ending with her knocked out and tied up. What’s next?

Lucille (Diane Simpson) lives in a suburban home that’s really a prison for multiple people, including her deformed son Henry, whom Paolo thinks she’s been talking to the entire time. Instead, she’s been chatting with Lucille, who is looking for the perfect woman to mate with her beloved boy.

All along, Paola’s sister, Maria (Shaeane Jimenez), has been telling her there are so many red flags. When her sister doesn’t return in time to see their father before his surgery, she starts to worry. That brings her to the same house of horrors, where another date.

The reveal that Lucille has been catfishing as her son Henry adds a layer of psychological voyeurism. It’s not just a kidnapping; it’s a mother’s twisted attempt at curating a bloodline. Diane Simpson’s performance as Lucille is genuinely unsettling, oscillating between a doting mother and a predatory architect of a human breeding program.

Written by Al and Jon Kaplan (Zombeavers, Lowlifes), this has two scenes that are guaranteed to blow your mind. In one, Lucille explains sex to Henry while jerking off her son and another where Paolo stops Henry from assaulting her by, well, snapping a mousetrap on his meat. I’ve never seen that before!

What motivates Lucille to create this twisted breeding program for her son? How does Paola’s sister, Maria, react when she discovers the truth about what happened to her? What consequences will Paola face after her harrowing experience in Lucille’s home? So many questions. Don’t pass this one up just because it’s a low-budget Tubi original. There’s something good here.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Remember how wild Adopted was? I mean, it ended up with ten-year-old Dylan (Jayden Aguirre) facing a literal firing squad of cops. I’m so excited that Chris Stokes is back with a sequel, because that movie earned one.

Dylan starts the movie inside a mental health facility. But he soon escapes and finds his way inside the home of another family, a place where he can be so sweet until the time when he loses it, yet again, and threatens everyone’s life.

Directed by Chris Stokes and written by Marques Houston, who returns as Detective Dante Miller, this finds the Andrews family — Ava (Princess Love Norwood), Caleb (Don Benjamin) and Mason (Preston Best) — repeating the pattern of Dylan: at first, he’s so full of love. By the end, he’s shotgunning blasting your favorite aunt. They’re just getting over the loss of a son, and now, they’ve let a total wildman into their home.

While many sequels try to reinvent the wheel, Chris Stokes and Marques Houston know exactly what their audience wants: high-stakes melodrama and a child who embodies true evil. Aguirre plays Dylan with a terrifying on/off switch. One moment, he’s the healing balm for a mother’s broken heart; the next, he’s a tactical mastermind wielding a shotgun with the efficiency of a seasoned action star.

Look, this is almost the same movie as the first, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t watch the third.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Director and writer Jem Garrard has made R.L. Stine’s Pumpkinhead, the Invasive movies and Slay for Tubi. All of these movies are in the upper tier of originals made for the streamer, so when I see their names above the credits, I know I’m about to watch something unique.

Nova (N’kone Mametja) is the anchor of a scuzzy, fluorescent-lit diner that seems to be held together by grease and broken dreams. It’s the kind of 2 A.M. haunt where the coffee is burnt, and the hope is non-existent. The tension ramps up when Nova becomes convinced that the silent, unassuming man at Table 5 isn’t just a late-night regular. He’s the serial killer currently dominating the local news cycles.

The evidence is mounting: a suspicious car, a body-shaped bundle in the backseat, and a demeanor that screams predator. But Garrard pivots from a standard slasher into something much more cynical. Once Nova’s co-workers catch wind of the massive bounty on the killer’s head, the diner transforms into a pressure cooker. To these wage slaves, the man at table 5 isn’t a threat to be feared; he’s a winning lottery ticket wrapped in a blood-stained jacket.

Shot in South Africa, this feels like it could be anywhere in America, a lonely place where no one cares about anyone. There’s no future, and that lack of future could end a lot sooner than anyone believes. I really enjoyed the downtrodden nature of this, as well as the constant twists.

You can almost smell the stale cigarettes and floor cleaner. Garrard balances this grim reality with a relentless series of twists that force the audience to constantly re-evaluate who the real villain is: the man with the dead body, or the “normal” people willing to do anything to escape their poverty. As with their other films, Garrard has made something special here.

You can watch this on Tubi.