April 28: Nightmare USA — Celebrate Stephen Thrower’s book by picking a movie from it. Here’s all of them in a list.

I’ve been super into John Hayes’ films lately. Jailbait Babysitter, The Hang-Up, Rue McClanahan’s debut film Hollywood After Dark, End of the World, Garden of the Dead, Grave of the Vampire, the Tales from the Dark Side episode “The Madness Room,” Dream No Evil…speaking of that last film, in which a woman grows up in an orphanage dreaming of the day her father will return, forever living outside the other children around her, only leaving to be a faith healer in a circus…well, it’s incredible. Sure, there’s no budget, but it has such a strange vision, powered by Hayes’ issues with his own childhood.

Six years later, he made this movie, one of the few times — if only — that the same director made an R-rated film and then remade it as an adult movie, using the name Howard Perkins.

Rosemary (Sharon Thrope, Sodom and Gomorrah: The Last Seven Days) is a teacher trapped in a cycle of sexual repression and father-fixation that would make Freud scribble notebooks full of findings. She never knew her father, grew up in an orphanage and barely cares about her boyfriend John (John Leslie, born in East Liverpool, Ohio and one of the Golden Age of porn’s most recognizable stars). They emerge from a theater showing Let’s Do It Again and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and while he has sex on his mind, as all men do, she couldn’t care less.

She’s leaving for three years to be a teacher and tells him blandly, “I’ve got to say goodbye to my father tonight.” Their lovemaking is barely that. It’s perfunctory. He soon departs and turns to a sex worker named Unis (Leslie Bovee) to fulfill his needs. This must be a regular thing, because he’s given her many of Rosemary’s outfits so that he can do what he really wants to do to his virginal girlfriend and can’t bring himself to unleash. He worships her from behind while calling Rosemary’s name. Once he finishes, he throws his money at her, leaving her unfulfilled and complaining about her back.

She tries to find her father in the flophouse where he lives. Instead, she runs into Mick (Ken Scudder, Thundercrack!) and Kate (Monique Cardin), who assault her at knifepoint. She runs away, only to return three years later, as her father has died and she wants to reconnect with Mick.

Rosemary goes to the funeral home along with John, who is now a police officer, to identify the body, bringing along her students Tracy (Candida Royalle, who pretty much created feminist adult) and Marsh (Melba Bruce, Alex de Renzy’s Femmes de Sade).

She muses, “It was such a nightmare to be a child. Now I’m the adult. Sex is always so degrading, so unclean. I’ll teach my girls all the good things. To be pure in mind and body.”

These girls are part of a cult that worships sex and soon end up making it with the funeral director (John Seeman), who has a small apartment filled with horror movie posters (Dracula, Frankenstein, King Kong, The Black Cat). As Rosemary and John watch — and they chant about eternal wombs — she finally finds an erotic stirring, and she allows him to dry hump her before going back to Mick, whose rough ways finally get her off. He gets a job, stops drinking and treats her right. Guess what? She hates it. He responds by nearly strangling her to death before John tries to save her life. He gets knocked out, and Mick leaves, promising that the next time he sees her, he’s going to kill her. No wonder she takes sapphic solace in the dual arms of her students.

Rosemary stares at herself for long stretches in the mirror and hears the voice of her father, begging her to not bury him because he’s still alive. During the funeral, fog appears everywhere, a demon emerges, the music gets discordant, and everyone in her life — John is now in a relationship with the woman who sexually replaced her, Unis — makes love to her as Rosemary screams, “Daddy! Take me away from this place!” The end is just pure sadness, as she’ll never escape, as the smoke and strange voices engulf her utterly.

This is not an adult Rosemary’s Baby, despite the title and horrible poster. It’s even weirder and better than that. In Nightmare U.S.A., Stephen Thrower wrote that this is “…a brutal sex drama that stands as one of his (Hayes) most disturbing films, with strong echoes of the family trauma theme that incessantly colored his career.” A lot of that is because Hayes was raised by an alcoholic uncle and an ancient grandmother, while his sister Dolores was sent to a convent, emerging only to have multiple children and descend into fanatic religious behavior. 

If Dream No Evil was a melancholic, circus-tent meditation on a missing father, then this film is the pitch-black, grimy realization that some things are better left buried.

You can watch this on CultPix.

April 8: Zoo Lover’s Day — You know what that means. Animal attack films!

Mai (Sombat Metanee) was once on the side of the law but is now a mercenary and the leader of a gang that uses rampaging elephants to get their way. But when his pregnant wife Shu (Aranya Namwong) is taken by an even more evil criminal (keep in mind they have stolen her back and forth throughout this movie), he must work with corrupt cop Ching Ming (Yodchai Meksuwan) to rescue her.

This is kind of a Western. While most Westerns give you horse chases, this movie gives you elephants flipping cars like they’re made of cardboard and stomping goons into the dirt. In the most did I really just see that moment of the film, one unlucky stuntman gets slapped across the face with — and there’s no polite way to put this — elephant cock. It’s the kind of practical effect you just don’t get in Hollywood.

I usually associate huts exploding with the Filipino action boom of the 80s, but Thailand was light-years ahead in the blowing up grass-roofed real estate department, if this movie is to be believed. 

The version floating around on Tubi is dubbed by a single voice actor who sounds like he’s reading a grocery list while recovering from a mild sedative. He provides the voices for the hero, the villain and possibly the elephants. He was likely dubbing five other features that afternoon and had a bus to catch, so we have to cut him some slack.

Also known as Rumbling the Elephant and Kill for the Truth, this has proved what I have always believed. Elephants make everything better. Whether they are being used as tactical assault vehicles, just hanging out in the background of a shootout or just standing still while a man runs face-first into their veiny pricks, they bring a dignity to the screen that the human actors just can’t match.

You can watch this on Tubi.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adam Hursey is a pharmacist specializing in health informatics by day, but his true passion is cinema. His current favorite films are Back to the Future, Stop Making Sense, and In the Mood for Love. He has written articles for Film East and The Physical Media Advocate, primarily examining older films through the lens of contemporary perspectives. He is usually found on Letterboxd, where he mainly writes about horror and exploitation films. You can follow him on Letterboxd or Instagram at ashursey. His April Movie Thon list is here.

April 5: Easter Sunday — Watch something religious.

Faith should be strong enough to withstand doubt, perhaps even strengthened by it. There is a theological belief I’ve heard many times in Christian sermons–”The Bible said it. That settles it”. This definitive statement leaves no room for mistranslations or potential bias as the Scriptures were compiled by human men. While they might be divinely inspired, there should be room for questioning.

Biblical scholar Hugh J. Schonfield took his doubts public in 1965 with his book The Passover Plot. After researching non-biblical historical documents, as well as the Gospels, Schonfield reached the conclusion that Jesus was not the Messiah and instead had determined that he should self-manifest himself as the Son of God in order to be elevated to the status of king during a time when Rome occupied Israel.

Jesus had the lineage as a Son of David (his bloodline could be traced back to the former king of Israel, and it had been prophesied that the Messiah would come from his descendants). Israel was experiencing a time of great persecution by Rome. The people were looking for someone who would conquer the Romans and restore sovereignty to the nation. Why couldn’t it be Him?

According to Schonfield, Jesus shrewdly planned the details of His crucifixion. Knowing that His body would need to be removed from the cross prior to the Sabbath, He only needed to survive a few hours. He also conspired to have a medication given to Him while on the cross to slow his heart rate enough to appear dead to the Romans. Unfortunately, the plan backfired when Jesus’ side was pierced with a spear by a Roman soldier (as was common practice during a crucifixion to ensure the person had indeed perished). Jesus died from that wound and would not be able to assert His place as king while on Earth. 

Ten years prior, Greek author Nikos Kazantzakis wrote his own controversial novel, The Last Temptation of Christ. While not basing his story on historical documents, Kazantzakis instead hypothesises Christ’s final temptation–coming down off of the cross and living life as a mortal man. Jesus experiences a normal life, but one that would be ultimately meaningless. He rejects this final temptation and fulfills God’s plan of salvation for humanity.

As one might expect, both of these novels and the films on which they are based became magnets for controversy. The Last Temptation of Christ might be more famous due to being relatively more recent as well as the presence of Martin Scorsese as director. But the cinematic version of The Passover Plot experienced its own boycotts and outrage. Singer Pat Boone went as far as purchasing airtime on syndicated television stations to convince people not to watch The Passover Plot. Did he watch the film before calling for a boycott? The answer to that question is not clear.

I cannot imagine that he actually watched the film and was terribly offended by what transpired. Unfortunately, The Passover Plot is a pretty bland retelling the last days of Christ. Nothing new is really offered despite the promise of blasphemy. We have seen it all before. John baptized Christ in the River Jordan. The Pharisees and Sadducees disturbed by the cult of personality that formed around Christ. Pontius Pilate (here played by a surprisingly subdued Donald Pleasence) complaining about his inability to not offend the Jewish citizens he governs. The brutality of the crucifixion. In fact, if you blink, you might miss the whole conspiracy angle. It is not made clear until the very end, and even then, it is a light vague. 

Honestly, the entire production is brought down by Jesus himself, played by Zalman King, an actor I typically find void of charisma. If nothing else, Jesus has to be charismatic in order to attract followers (although there is also a surprising lack of followers shown here–it is typically just Jesus and his disciples. In the Gospels, Jesus is always surrounded by an ever growing crowd of people clamoring for at least a glimpse if not a full out miracle). If you have ever watched Blue Sunshine, you know that King has an intense stare that comprises around 90 percent of his acting chops. Not much else. Maybe he was holding back, saving all of his, how shall I say, vitality for Red Shoe Diaries.

I’m happy to report that The Passover Plot did not rattle my faith. It did not challenge it either though. And that lukewarm result might be the worst outcome. By being neither hot nor cold, the film quickly becomes forgettable. I haven’t watched The Last Temptation of Christ in maybe 20 or 25 years, but scenes from that film are indelibly etched into my mind. My faith was strengthened by the knowing that Jesus could have let that cup pass by him and led an ordinary life. There is nothing in The Passover Plot (at least the cinematic version) that gives me anything with which to grapple, which might be the ultimate unforgivable sin.