Man, those Polonia boys are always getting in trouble. This time, John, Mark and their friend Todd Michael Smith start with the strangeness of Hallucinations and then decide there’s no way to go but all the way as they direct, write, star and survive this assault.

So yeah, the simple breakdown would be something like Alan and Joseph (Mark and John Polonia) plan on spending the summer with their Aunt Lacey, but soon run into Jeremy (Smith), one of the workers on her farm who just might be killing people.

Except that, well, Aunt Lacey is ready to take the virginity of either of her nephews, Jeremy isn’t just killing but keeping body parts and oh yeah, that scene where John craps out a full knife and screams in bloody underwear from Hallucinations comes back to destroy minds.

What can you say about a movie that begins with a man axe hacking a body to pieces, except for a hand that he uses it, well, give himself the ultimate stranger? Or when it comes out that the body of their uncle is in the house and their aunt still has sex with him? Or a fisting scene that ends with a killer forcing his victim to eat feces, all while Casio synth plaintively blasts?

This is amongst the most offensive and in your face SOV films I’ve ever seen — I haven’t even mentioned the golden shower or oral sex with a severed head scene, but you know, not everyone is ready nor should they need to be — and it’s amazing that the Polonias were teens making this and that Mark is still making movies today. This feels like the kind of movie that you need to watch with a room of people and see how many make it to the end.

Tim Ritter might not be the best person for your female friends to date but we’re not trying to fix him up with someone. We’re watching SOV. For that, he’s the right person, as Killing Spree builds on the same plot I’ve seen in several of his movies — man is either getting cucked or has fears that his wife is sleeping around — and he loses it and kills everyone he knows.

Tom Russo is that man, an airplane mechanic working non-stop to keep a nice house for his wife Leeza. He’s sure that she’s cheating on him — he’s read her diary — so he starts killing anyone who she has written about, starrting with his friend Ben and a punk girl whose head he cuts off and uses as a weapon to murder his former buddy.

Anyone in Leeza’s notebook dies, like the electrican who gets chopped off by a machete ceiling fan and the lawn guy who gets buried up to his neck and mowed.

The truth? Leeza has been writing for a romance magazine to earn money so Tom doesn’t have to work so hard. But now, Maniac-like, all the victims are coming back from the dead and begin to shout at Tom to kill his wife so they can rest.

Shot on 16mm instead of camcorder — yes, I know, it’s another SOV that doesn’t live up to the format — this movie has an old ladyt’s face get hammer-based surgery and the line “You screw my wife, I screwdrive your head!”

Also: The lead actor’s name is Asbestos Felt.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Here’s another take on this movie. 

Doug (Mark Williams) is a wedding videographer — did he teach the Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers? — who keeps dreaming of making a horror movie. When he meets Rails (Al Darago, who co-directed and co-wrote this with Doug Ulrich, who one assumes is the inspiration for the character in this movie), the lead singer of a shock rock metal band, he finds a kindred spirit who can help him make the movie he’s been fantasizing about. Unfortunately, Rails is also a killer and using the movie to create grisly murder scenes that begin to fascinate Doug and make him complicit in the crimes.

People get dynamite in their mouths, bodies are hung up and chainsawed in half and heads roll. If you like erotic knife torture, I think this was made for you. Once you watch a few of these scenes, you’ll figure out why this movie was also named Snuff Kill. There are plenty of stabbings in this with a variety of implements and despite its low budget SOV origins, it all looks pretty good. In fact, the grainy and grimy nature of this format adds to the overall feel.

Ulrich and Durango also made Scary Tales, Darkest Soul and 7 Sins of the Vampire together and all of those are pretty fun, too. I kind of love that Rails’ band looks all grim and kvlt, then sounds like more of a 60s psychedelic band than the SUNN O))) you expect them to be playing what with all those robes. There’s also a band on the soundtrack called Thee Enigma Jar. The other band is called Surefire and yes, that’s Doug and Al’s band.

SRS put this out on DVD a few years ago and I just love that this has been upgraded for today.

Chuck (Andy Nichols, one of the doctors in Nightdreams and Max Melodramatic from Cafe Flesh) and Buck (Louie Bonanno, who was in Chuck Vincent’s Slammer Girls and also appeared along with Nichols in Dark’s In Search of… the Perfect 10) leave their women behind and go to a new wave whorehouse — in case you’re wondering about that term, stick around — called Madame Mondo’s Zombie Palace, where they try and find the perfect zombie women and just end up tied to the wall in tutus.

Before they get turned into women, their better halves — Sue (Michelle Bauer, who has been in everything from uncredited roles in Get Crazy and Tomboy to Roller Blade, Nightmare Sisters, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Evil Toons and so many more great films; as Pia Snow she was also an adult actress and is also in Cafe Flesh) and Lulu (Connie Woods, The Forbidden Dance) — have to come and save them from Madame Mondo and her assistant Igor (Cynthia Clegg).

The zombie women include adult star Blondi (who also worked as Blondi Bee; she shows up in the KISS eXposed video as their personal envelope licker), Teri Lynn Peake (Penthouse Pet of the Month for October 1987), Ashley Elstad, Violet Lickness and Lisa Devine.

If this feels like a late 80s adult feature, well, that’s no accident. Director and producer Jon Valentine is actually Gregory Dark! Writer Veronica Cinq-Mars was really Anthony R. Lovett, who was also Antonio Passolini, the director of some late 80s sequels to classic adult films like — you guessed it — Cafe Flesh, The Devil In Miss Jones and even Dark’s New Wave Hookers. He also used the name Johnny Jump-Up to write Dark’s White Bunbusters, Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout Black Chicks, Deep Inside Vanesse del Rio, The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning and The Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage. He was also the head of production for VCA Pictures, which pretty much ruled adult in the 80s. He’s also the Anthony “Tex” Lovett that wrote Faces of Death rip-off Inhumanities II: Modern Atrocities and Gesichter des Todes V, which was sold in Germany as the fifth Faces of Death and has scenes taken directly from the former film as well as Death Faces IV. There was a Gorgon Video-released Faces of Death 5 in the U.S., but it’s just clips from the other four movies. The German one, though, lists Countess Victoria Bloodhart as a director (who is also credited with a fourth installment of Mondo Cane which is just more recycled clips and stolen footage from Nick Bougas’ Death Scenes and, yes, Inhumanities II: Modern Atrocities which was directed by Wesley P. Emerson, the director of nearly every Deep Inside 80s adult compilation). Ah,man — Lovett also wrote most of Michael Ninn’s stuff too.

Most amazingly, Gesichter des Todes V also has footage taken from Stelvio Masi, who as Max Steel was the director of Hell’s Heroes, Taxi Killer, Arabella: Black Angel and probably the movie those Germans ripped off to make their fake sequel, Savage World Today. Of course, he also made tons of awesome Italian crime movies like Convoy Busters, Magnum Cop and Highway Racer.

That was a tangent, huh?

Anyways! Gregory Dark! The man who reinvented porn in the 80s and brought a sense of punk energy to what had become a very staid video formula made this and it’s a lot like all of his movies of the era minus the sexual gymnastics. He’d go on to pretty much also own the adult thriller section of your video store, as well as Showtime and Cinemax after midnight on Friday and Saturday nights. And oh yeah, directed a few hundred music videos before reinventing himself again and making mainstream movies.

There you go. Greg Dark stealing a Romero title and trying to make a mainstream softcore movie with the same sensibilities as his porn work. Thanks for listening.