B-MOVIE BLAST: My Tutor (1983)

Bobby Chrystal (Matt Lattanzi, who was in Xanadu where he met his one-time wife Olivia Newton-John) might never graduate high school thanks to his poor French scores. But this being a 1983 movie, all he cares about is losing his virginity, just like his buddies Billy and Jack (a practically all hormone Crispin Hellion Glover).

To help him improve his French, Mr. Chrystal (Invasion of the Body Snatchers star Kevin McCarthy) hires Terry Green (Caren Kaye, who played Jason Bateman’s mom on the one season NBC sitcom It’s Your Move) to teach his son. Well, she sure does, starting with him perving her while she skinny dips in their pool and ending with the predictable motion of the oryctérope.

Of course, dad wanted Terry all for himself and tells his son that she only was there to teach him, with a $10,000 bonus if he passes. He calls her a prostitute, because that’s what being a young incel is all about, before realizing that she taught him so much. Now, he has the ability to ask out his crush Bonnie.

Katt Shea, who would go on to direct both Stripped to Kill movies, as well as Poison Ivy and The Rage: Carrie 2, is in this as a mud wrestler. So are Shelley Taylor Morgan (Malibu Express), Jewel Shepherd (Zapped!Hollywood Hot Tubs 2: Educating Crystal), Jacqueline Jacobs (who is in pretty much every Crown International winner like Malibu BeachThe Van, The Beach Girls, Weekend PassThe Patriot and Hunk) and Kitten Natividad (Night Patrol, Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens). If I have to explain to you why any of these women appeared in this movie, you haven’t watched enough 1980’s teen sex comedies.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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