Directed and written by John Harrison (Tales from the Darkside: The Movie) from a story by Ron Goulart, “Printer’s Devil” proves that if you own a small business in Tales from the Darkside, a supernatural entity is definitely going to show up to offer you a deal that ends with you screaming into the void.

Junior P. Harmon (Larry Manetti, taking a break from Magnum P.I.) is a hack writer whose career is deader than a Sunday matinee in a blizzard. He’s staring down the barrel of total failure until he meets Alex Kellaway (Charles Knapp), a creepy old man who looks like he smells of mothballs and brimstone. Kellaway offers him the ultimate ghostwriting deal: Junior gets the fame, the money, and the top of the bestseller list, provided he follows a very specific, very bloody set of instructions.

The catch? Kellaway’s muse doesn’t run on coffee; it runs on organic sacrifices. Junior starts small, knocking off pets to keep the hits coming, and soon he’s the toast of the town, moving in with his high-powered editor, Brenda Hardcastle (Nita Talbot). But the “Printer’s Devil” is a greedy editor, and soon the blood tax goes up. Before Junior can say Pulitzer, he realizes that when you sign a contract with a supernatural entity in a Darkside episode, the fine print is usually written in your own hemoglobin.

The episode even features a deep-cut Easter egg for the die-hards: the song playing on the radio is by Justine Bancroft, the character Lisa Bonet played in “The Satanic Piano.”

Someone is found dead after the engagement party for the offspring of two estranged comics.

Season 3, Episode 18: No Laughing Murder (March 15, 1987)

Welcome to Cooperville, New York. Jessica is in town to visit the Hiawatha Lodge, which is owned by the widower of Jessica’s dear, departed college pal. He’s a retired stand-up comic, and his daughter is set to walk down the aisle with the son of his former comedy partner, who’s now a bitter arch-nemesis.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Murray and Mack, the former comedy duo in this, are Buddy Hackett as Murray Gruen and Steve Lawrence as Mack Howard. 

Corrie Gruen, Murray’s daughter, is played by Beth Windsor, while her fiancé, Kip Howard, is played by George Clooney.

George Furth is played by Farley Pressman in one of his three roles on the show.

David Knell plays Police Chief Wylie B. Ledbetter.

Sheree North plays Norma Lewis. You might know her as Kramer’s mother.

Arte Johnson from Laugh-In is Phil Rinker.

Pat Crowley plays Trudy Howard.

In smaller roles, Pat Delany is Ms. Kline, Alice Nunn (Large Marge!) is Henrietta, Richardson Morse is Dr. Worth, Daniel Chodos is Al, Paul Ganus is a P.A., Ron Cey is a musician, 

What happens?

At a wedding bash that feels more like a wake, Mac (half of the comedy duo Murray and Mack) gets a knife in the back. He pulls through because you can’t kill a comic that easily. He’s probably died on stage a thousand times. The real tragedy? Phil, their agent, is found swinging from a rope in the storeroom.

The local law is represented by Wiley, a rookie cop who looks like he’s still waiting for his first shave. He knows he’s outclassed, so he leans on Jessica like a crutch. Our girl J.B. takes one look at the scene and realizes this wasn’t a suicide. It was a cold-blooded hit.

Phil had found the discrepancies in the books, so he had to be killed.

Who did it?

The investment advisor. It’s always the guy with the ledger. He was skimming the duo’s accounts to fund a lifestyle their jokes couldn’t actually afford.

Who made it?

This was directed by Walter Grauman and written by Tom Sawyer, one of the 20+ episodes he wrote. 

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No, and I am beyond enraged.

Was it any good?

It’s decent, even if it feels like every detective show has a comedy partner murder.

Any trivia?

Mack and Murray do an Abbott and Costello routine from Rio Rita.

While we’re discussing fighting comedic teams, Buddy Hackett played Bud Abbott in Bud and Lou. 

Give me a reasonable quote:

Murray Gruen: Well, actually, I am here. And, Mack, I gotta be here in this town. You see, I met this… I met this broad here in the town, and… Sh-She kinda expects me… to take her on a honeymoon.

Norma Lewis: Honeymoon? Honeymoon?

Trudy Howard: Oh! That’s great!

Norma Lewis: A honeymoon!

What’s next?

Grady Fletcher is in big trouble again when his boss is found dead and he is the main suspect.

Archie Fenton (Robert Knepper, Cards of Death and T-Bag on Prison Break) thinks he’s scored the real estate deal of the century: a swanky, high-tech room in the St. George Apartments for $200 a month. The catch? The landlady, Madame Angler (Marie Windsor, who was in everything from Commando Squad and Salem’s Lot to Chamber of Horrors, Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy and Cat-Women of the Moon), has some weird house rules. No nails in the walls, no microwaves and most importantly, he has to provide organic garbage with no bags.

That’s because the building is alive. And it’s quite sensitive. When Archie nails a picture to the wall, the building bleeds. When he tries to feed the disposal unit a bag of chemicals and broken glass, his domicile gets a nasty case of indigestion.

Archie figures out that the previous tenant, Helen (Patricia Pelham), didn’t move out. She was the main course. Madame Angler and her dragon-jacket-wearing goons, Al and Mac (Ben Frank and Robert Sutton), explain that the building needs to be respected. Archie tries to fight back, but this ends with a giant reptilian tongue slithering out of the disposal chute to drag him into the building’s digestive tract.

This was directed by John Strysik (who also wrote several episodes) and written by Harvey Jacobs and Michael McDowell from a story by Adam K. Jacobs.

Get it? There’s a dragon in a building called the St. George.

Jessica investigates when an artist is murdered and his prized painting is missing.

Season 3, Episode 17: Simon Says, Color Me Dead (March 1, 1987)

Simon Thane is a celebrated artist living in Cabot Cove. For the last several years, Thane has jealously guarded his favorite painting, which he has never allowed to be seen publicly. Jessica becomes involved in the story when Thane is murdered and his prized painting stolen, leading our heroine to conclude that the mysterious work of art may contain a clue as to the killer’s identity.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

As always, Tom Bosley as Sheriff Amos Tupper and William Windom as Dr. Seth Hazlitt are here.

Diane Baker (The Haunted, The Old Man Who Cried Wolf) is Eleanor Thane.

Comedian Foster Brooks plays Simon Thane.

Ann Dusenberry, Tina from Jaws 2, is Carol Selby.

Leonard Frey is Felix Casslaw.

Tess Harper (Tender Mercies) is Irene Rutledge.

Steve Inwood (Cruising) is Cash Logan.

Dick Sargent (Bewitched) is George Selby.

Chris Hebert (Invaders from Mars) is Tommy Rutledge.

In smaller roles, Phillip Clark is Deputy Collins and Daryl Lynn Wood is Martha Sommers.

What happens?

Simon and Eleanor Thane have been staying in Cabot Cove, but haven’t even tried to spend time with J.B. She’s busy being, well, Jessica. Ever the mediator, she steps in when Martha Sommers accuses young Tommy Rutledge of bike theft. Jessica’s solution is to gift Tommy a bike once owned by her late husband, Frank. This highlights her maternal warmth, contrasting sharply with the cold, pretentious salon hosted by the Thanes later that evening, which they at least remember to invite her to.

Yes, Simon Thane isn’t just a celebrated artist. He’s a man who thrives on being the smartest and most elusive person in the room. Living in Cabot Cove for the quiet atmosphere, he has spent his final years obsessively guarding a secret masterpiece.

Man, the guest list is a powder keg. Felix Casslaw is a gallery owner smelling a massive payday; Carol and George Selby seem to have a deep, albeit strained connection to Simon and Eleanor, Simon’s wife, who has spent years in the shadow of his genius and his moods.

Hours after everyone leaves, young Tommy wakes up to a bloody Irene who tells him to go back to bed. Everyone else wakes up to a dead Simon and a missing painting. Irene swears she didn’t kill him, but Amos is convinced that it’s a crime of passion, remarking that “Just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s not fire in the hearth.”

Is he projecting his cop boner onto his favorite mystery writer?

Now, Carol believes that Cabot Cove should have a Simon Thane exhibition and it seems like everyone wants to get richer off his death. Irene claims that before Eleanor went to bed, she went to see Simon to get the money he owed her, but he was already dead. Somehow, in the middle of all of this, we learn that Irene isn’t Tommy’s real mom. An awful lot happens in Cabot Cove.

Anyway, we got a dead artist, and this is why Simon and Eleanor were not talking to J.N. Simon had to die to learn that lesson.

Who did it?

Jessica realizes that the painting wasn’t stolen just for its monetary value. It was stolen because it was a confession in oil. The painting revealed Simon’s true obsession with Carol Selby, but it also captured a truth about their relationship that Carol couldn’t allow to become public. Simon was in love with her; she just would cock tease him by letting him paint her, but the truth is that she never loved him.

Who made it?

Kevin G. Cremin, who was an assistant director on several other episodes, directed. It was written Robert E. Swanson, one of 87 episodes he told the story of.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No. I say it’s high time we get that.

Was it any good?

Haven’t we already had another artist die on this show? Yes. Many more will die before we’re done.

Any trivia?

Diane Baker and Steve Inwood would be in three more episodes as different characters.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they started seeing quite a lot of each other. How about some more coffee, Amos? And I will tell you something else to put into your amnesia file.

What’s next?

Jessica investigates when an artist is murdered, and his prized painting is missing.

Directed by Tinma Ranon, who wrote the script based on a story by Barbara Paul, this is about Andrea Caldwell (Carolyn Seymour), a high-strung theater director with a short fuse and zero patience for her lazy maintenance man, Otto (Lou Cutell, Amazing Larry!). After she berates the poor guy and tosses away his magazine, she and her missing lead actor Syd (John Cedar, who wrote and produced The Manitou!) are sucked into a surreal, low-budget dreamscape where Otto is the boss and they’re the help.

Andrea eventually figures that out and decides that the only way to beat a dreamer is to out-dream him. I mean, only a ninja can kill a ninja. She pops some reds to hijack the fantasy, but wakes up in the dream of Joe D’Amico (Dawson Mays), a stagehand Otto was also  keeping captive. The tragedy isn’t just that she fails to take over; it’s the layering of the dreams. In a precursor to films like Inception, she escapes one man’s nightmare only to fall into the subconscious of another person she mistreated.

Can someone get Ken Lauber on the phone? The score in this one sounds a lot like the music from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

What a weird episode.

Jessica visits her old friend, private investigator Harry McGraw (Jerry Orbach), in Boston, who has become entangled in the high-stakes world of boxing.

Season 3, Episode 16: Death Takes a Dive (February 22, 1987)

Thanks to her latest run-in with Harry McGraw, Jessica discovers that she is now the manager of a down-on-his-luck prizefighter who is looking to retire following his next fight. And while getting a crash course on her new endeavor, she has her hands full trying to clear Harry in the murder of a shady fight promoter.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury and Jerry Orbach?

Doc Penrose? That’s John Amos from Good Times.

Ernest Borgnine plays Cosmo Ponzini. You may know him from From Here to Eternity. I know him from Super Fuzz.

LeVar Burton plays a newsman named Dave Robinson. You may not recognize him without his  Star Trek: The Next Generation goggles.

Bradford Dillman is Dennis McConnell. Wow — that dude battled eco-horror in the 70s like no one else.

The law in this is Lt. Casey, played by Ray Girardin.

Holy Adam West, Batman! Adam West is in this as Wade Talmadge.

Caren Kaye is playing Lois Ames, Michael McGrady plays Sean Shaleen, Lynn Moody is Pam Collins, Harold Sylvester is Blaster Boyle, Bill Capizzi is a doorman, Richard Balin is a commentator, Marcia Moran is a waitress, Richard Bravo is Sanchez, and Jeff Langton is a boxer.

What happens?

Jessica Fletcher heads to the mean streets of Boston to visit her favorite sentient trench coat, private investigator Harry McGraw. Naturally, Harry is chin-deep in gambling debts and managed to get himself wrangled into the high-stakes, low-morals world of professional boxing. He’s got a sure thing in a heavyweight named Blaster Boyle, but he needs J.B. to bankroll the training. Jessica, ever the softie for a rogue with a Brooklyn accent, cuts the check only to find herself acting as the official manager when Harry gets framed for the murder of Wade Talmage, a fight promoter who was about 10% human and 90% slime.

The suspect pool is deeper than a spit bucket. You’ve got a sportswriter out for vengeance because Talmage ruined his father, a fighter named Sean Shaleen, who doesn’t realize he’s being played and a mistress done wrong.

Oh yeah. The sure thing heavyweight, Blaster Boyle, isn’t just a fighter; he’s a gentle giant with a glass jaw and a heart of gold, making the stakes feel personal. Jessica isn’t just protecting Harry’s freedom; she’s protecting Blaster from being sold out by the vultures circling the ring.

Who did it?

Boxer Sean Shaleen. He was tired of being a pawn in Talmage’s games and decided a shotgun blast was better than taking a dive.

Who made it?

It was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

She does do a training montage. Also, I fully believe that Harry McGraw has gotten up in her guts and had more than a few bowls of Cabot Cove Clam Chowder, if you know what I’m saying, and I know you do.

Was it any good?

It was pretty good!

Any trivia?

This extended episode served as a backdoor pilot for Harry McGraw’s own short-lived spin-off series, The Law & Harry McGraw.

John Amos and LeVar Burton both played Kunta Kinte in Roots.

Harry McGraw is supposed to be 47. Now I feel old.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Harry McGraw: I know. But I sold them something even better. The inside story of a tough, resourceful private eye who single-handedly broke open one of the largest murder cases of the decade.

Jessica Fletcher: Single-handedly?

Harry McGraw: So I exaggerated a little. What’s a little white lie between friends?

What’s next?

Jessica investigates when an artist is murdered, and his prized painting is missing.

Amateur astrologist Englebert Ames (Anthony Heald, Silence of the Lambs) can’t wait for Halley’s Comet, but his wife Charlene (Kate McGregor-Stewart) couldn’t care less. She’s more interested in going to a fancy event with her parents, but he knows this is the last chance he’ll have to see the famous space event. The tension between Englebert and Charlene serves as a satirical look at suburban misery. While Charlene is obsessed with the social status of her parents’ party, Englebert’s obsession is literal escapism.

Then, Lara Burns (Sarah Rush) comes into his room, right out of the telescope, and claims that she disappeared when she and her fiancé watched the comet in 1910. She’s been riding it with Sir Edmund Halley and, of course, she falls for Englebert. By the end, Charlene and Halley (Fritz Weaver) are back on the comet, and our hero has found his love.

Who knew Halley’s Comet wasn’t just a ball of ice and dust; it’s a cosmic cruise ship. The idea that Sir Edmund Halley is still alive, riding his own discovery through the vacuum of space, adds a charming, almost Victorian-sci-fi layer to the story. The ending of this one is rare: the protagonist isn’t punished but rewarded with a literal soulmate from another century, while his overbearing wife finds her own match in the stern historical figure of Halley.

This was directed by Warner Shook, who appears in Creepshow, Knightriders, and Dawn of the Dead; he also directed “Grandma’s Last Wish” in season 1 and “Deliver Us from Goodness” in season 3, as well as two episodes of Monsters. It was written by Harvey Jacobs and Jule Selbo.

While not the most frightening episode, this may be one of the weirder ones. Unlike the grim irony of most episodes, “Comet Watch” leans heavily into romantic screwball comedy and magical realism. It’s often cited alongside episodes like “The Geezenstacks” as examples of the show’s willingness to experiment with tone beyond pure horror.

A sensationalist TV presenter is killed, and suspicion falls on one of the clients whose products he maligned.

Season 3, Episode 15: The Bottom Line Is Murder (February 15, 1987)

J.B. is on the road to Denver, Colorado, to visit her old friend Jayne, whom she hasn’t seen in 7 years, and to give an interview at a station where her friend’s husband works. Despite being a widower of a certain age who continually has people die all around her, Jessica stays busy. Of course, as soon as she gets there, someone dies.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury?

Adrienne Barbeau is Lynette Bryant. If anyone ever says a bad word about her, you can legally kick them. Look it up.

Jessica’s old friend, Dr. Jayne Honig, is Judith Chapman, who plays Gloria Simmons on The Young and the Restless. 

The law around here, Lt. Lou Flannigan, is Barry Corbin. The warden from Stir Crazy!

Pat Klous is Clare Henley.

Robert F. Lyons, from Avenging Angel, is Steve Honig.

Rod McCary is Kenneth Chambers. He was also in Stir Crazy, as well as Night of the Demons 2.

Joe Santos, Dennis Becker from The Rockford Files, is Joe Rinaldi.

Robert Warren is played by Morgan Stevens.

Celebrity trash collector Bert Tanaka? Oh my! George Takei!

In smaller roles, Brian Matthews is Ryan Monroe, Paul Tompkins and Robert Buckingham are reporters, William Ian Gamble is a security guard, and Mark C. Phelan is a cop.

What happens?

Kenneth Chambers is the TV newsman behind the hot news program The Bottom Line. So hot that it’s made at an independent Denver station, but whatever. He’s a total jerk, which, as we all know in the world of Murder, She Wrote, means that he will be the person who dies.

Anyway, Jayne is driving Jessica to the station and casually mentions that her husband Steve is super stressed and that she’s stopped being a career woman to help take care of him. If you guessed that he’s the producer that Kenneth yelled at, you’re right. They meet station manager Robert Warren, who remarks that he’d sure like Jayne to leave her husband — and his best friend — for him. That’s how people talked in 1987. So when you take your work sexual harassment digital test, that is also why.

Also: Robert was once one of Jayne’s patients, as she was once a therapist. 

Also also: When they are all at dinner, Steve leaves to go work late, and Robert cockblocks him after he leaves, saying that he worked late on the same night but was there alone.

Then George Takei’s character finds Kenneth dead, and if this were made in 2026, he would look right at the camera, Fulci zooms right in on him, and he would say, “Oh my!” Kenneth has been shot, and would you look at that, Steve has a gun in the back of his car. It’s not as if everybody didn’t want to kill this guy, but this being J.B.’s world, of course the husband of her best friend is the suspect.

There was just a mob guy who makes teddy bears that threatened everyone on the show’s life, and no one suspects him.

Jessica and junkman George Takei work together to spring a trap for the real killer.

Who did it?

Robert Warren, who didn’t want to kill the TV host, but really wanted Steve dead because he really wasn’t joking about being in lust with Jayne.

Who made it?

This is the first episode directed by Anthony Pullen Shaw, who is Angela Lansbury’s son. It was written by Steven Long Mitchell and Craig W. Van Sickle.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No. I am getting enraged.

Was it any good?

It’s fine. 

Any trivia?

This is the second time Adrienne Barbeau was on the show. 

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: I don’t know how you spotted me, but you certainly had me pegged. I am a writer. Crime is my beat. Murder my specialty.

What’s next?

John Amos! Ernest Borgnine! LeVar Burton! Adam West! Jessica visits her old friend, private investigator Harry McGraw, in Boston, who has become embroiled in the high-stakes game of boxing.

Biff (Greg Mullavey, Mary Hartman’s husband) doesn’t get kids. His new wife, Helen (Beth McDonald), has a son, Timmy (Seth Green!), who keeps claiming he has monsters all around him.

Instead of being toughened up and not believing in these supernatural frights, as Biff wants, Timmy decides to make peace with those things that go bump in the night, which include a boogeyman in the closet, an octopus under the bed and a witch in the bathroom. Biff wants to make a man out of Timmy through verbal abuse and threats of physical violence. Ironically, his cruelty works, just not the way he intended. Timmy does toughen up. In fact, he becomes so cold and calculating that he manages to domesticate literal demons.

By the end, when Biff and Timmy are left alone, the drunken stepfather threatens to paddle our hero. Instead, the monsters follow Timmy’s orders. Sure, Biff died of heart complications, yet we know the actual culprit. But then, we must wonder: are these scary things real or just how Timmy deals with abuse? Or maybe that’s what Biff deserves for killing Ernie, his stepson’s pet potato bug. If the monsters are a coping mechanism, Timmy is essentially “weaponizing” his trauma. The heart attack Biff suffers is a convenient medical cover-up for a child’s revenge.

The most chilling part of the ending isn’t Biff’s death. It’s the fact that the monsters are now afraid of Timmy. This suggests that to survive a monster like Biff, Timmy had to become something even more terrifying. He didn’t just reclaim his space. Now, he has become the new landlord of the dark.

James Steven Sadwith, who directed and wrote this, would go on to make the Elvis and Sinatra TV mini-series.