Tag Archives: 1981

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: The Other Hell (1981)

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If you think you’ve seen it all because you sat through The Devils or owned a bootleg of Killer Nun, Bruno Mattei is here to grab your rosary beads and yank you straight into the abyss. The Other Hell (originally L’altro inferno) isn’t just a movie; it’s a 90-minute assault on every Sunday School lesson you ever endured.

Get ready for a movie overflowing with blasphemy, shot at the Convento di Santa Priscilla in Rome (once owned by FIAT but now by the Secret Service). Then again, the print that Severin used for the Blu-ray was found behind a false wall in a Bologna nunnery! I sum up this movie with these three words: Not fucking around.

Written by Claudio Fragasso (Rats: The Night of Terror) and directed by Bruno Mattei (Seven Magnificent Gladiators, Robowar), this is a pull-no-punches nunsploitation shockfest. You think mother! was bad?  Then you are by no means ready for this one. A baby gets boiled alive, and that’s the very least of the shocks in store. And if you’re Catholic, well, get ready to go to confession.

Boasting a Goblin score stolen from Beyond the Darkness (actually from their albums Roller and Il fantastico viaggio del bagarozzo Mark; Fragasso said they had the band in the movie “as they were fashionable and asked them to write music for the film, but they asked for a lot of money, leading to the production to use stock music with a few modifications.” Mattei claimed that he was friends with their publisher, Carlo Bixio, who gave him the music he wanted.

The plot kicks off with Sister Cristina getting lost in the catacombs — never a good move in an Italian movie — where she finds Sister Assunta (Paola Montenero, Sylvie from A Bay of Blood) in a morgue laboratory. Assunta is busy embalming corpses and casually dropping lore about nuns fornicating with Satan and the mysterious murder of the previous Mother Superior, Sister Florence. Before you can say “Hail Mary,” Assunta goes into a supernatural trance, murders Cristina and then drops dead herself.

Mother Vincenza (Franca Stoppi, who was also in Beyond the Darkness) tries to play it off as an accident to Father Inardo (Andrea Aureli), but the gig is up when Sister Rosaria (Susanna Forgione) starts spraying blood from her mouth during communion and develops a case of terminal stigmata.

Enter Father Valerio (Carlo De Mejo, who survived City of the Living Dead only to end up here). He’s a scientific priest sent to investigate, but he spends most of his time clashing with Vincenza, who runs the convent like a fascist boot camp.

It turns out the convent’s basement isn’t just for storing communion wine. It’s housing Elisa (Francesca Carmeno), Vincenza’s illegitimate, horribly disfigured daughter, who was tossed into boiling water at birth by the former Mother Superior. Elisa didn’t die, though; she just developed Carrie-esque telekinetic powers, like making people strangle themselves with their own rosaries.

By the time we get to the finale, Vincenza has dropped the act, admitted she made a pact with the Devil and claimed Elisa is the literal daughter of Satan. It all ends in the morgue with resurrected corpses, psychic battles, and Father Valerio losing his mind. The final kicker? The Bishop shows up to investigate the earthquake and gets a face full of rotting nun corpse falling out of a coffin.

Oh yeah — between priests being set on fire and a nun’s severed head in the sacristy, this movie is every nightmare you had in CCD class. When Mother Vincenza yells, “The genitals are the door to evil! The vagina, the uterus, the womb; the labyrinth that leads to hell; the devil’s tools!” you’ll either cheer or recoil in terror, depending on whether or not you ever sat through a five-hour Good Friday mass.

Seriously. This movie tested even my resolve of how far is too far. Which is just another way to tell you that I loved it.

This was shot at the same time as The True Story of the Nun of Monza with most of the same cast and crew. Fragasso says that he shot The Other Hell downstairs and Mattei shot the other upstairs, helping each other as needed. As for Mattei, he would always say that Fragrasso was just an assistant director. They did the same two movies for the price of one on Women’s Prison Massacre and Violence In a Women’s Prison, as well as Scalps and White Apache.

Mattei was interviewed by European Trash Cinema and said, “Let’s say that he has influenced almost everyone. For example, L’altro Inferno/The Other Hell utilized Argento’s concepts, but wasn’t an absolute copy of Inferno, the title was dictated by the distributor. He makes movies wilh lots of blood, I’m not adverse to it but in some countries, like Germany, gory movies aren’t distributed.”

While it premiered in Italy in 1981, it didn’t reach American theaters until 1984, where it was renamed Guardian of Hell. It was unleashed on VHS by Vestron Video, finding its true home in the wood-paneled basements of horror nerds who wanted something a little more European.

I can’t believe that you could have walked into a multiplex and watched this.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: The One-Armed Executioner (1981)

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Interpol agent Ramon Ortega (Franco Guerrero) and his new blonde American children’s book author wife Ann (Jody Kay, Death Screams) are back in the Philippines after a honeymoon in San Francisco. Within minutes, the drug dealer that our hero is after — Edwards (Christopher Mitchum) — has sent his men to kill Ann and has had his arm chopped off. And in case you’re wondering if the drug dealer is evil, he has an evil Axis symbol on the side of his boat.

Edwards doesn’t just want Ortega dead; he wants him broken. After the brutal hit on the beach that leaves Ann dead and Ortega’s arm severed by a machete, Edwards leaves him alive as a living warning. Ortega spirals into depression and drinking, just trying to live out the rest of his life in pain, when a new master named Wo Chen appears and teaches him how to fight with one hand and how to do gun fu, if you will, in which they have a gigantic training device with numbers. The master calls out the targets, and Ortega improves with each shot.

You feel for Ortega, as he found the right kind of woman, the one who sleeps with baby dolls and has sex in the shower with her shower cap on, the height of eroticism. But seriously, he really does hit rock bottom, but this film pulls him up and gives him the chance to get revenge.

Ortega eventually fits his stump with a specialized prosthetic that allows him to steady his aim, effectively turning his entire body into a tripod for his .45 caliber vengeance. The showdown moves from the slums of Manila to Edwards’ fortified compound. Ortega has to dismantle a small army of mercenaries using a combination of one-handed reloading techniques and raw, unadulterated 80s rage.

This movie is an absolute blast from start to finish, delivering the kind of weirdness and magical action that could only come from the Philippines and a master director like Bobby A. Suarez, who also directed American Commandos, The Bionic Boy, Cleopatra Wong and Warriors of the Apocalypse.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CULTPIX MONTH: Bumpy (1981)

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Look, we’ve all been there. You’re out in the woods, the sun is shining, you’re filling your pail with strawberries, and suddenly you realize you’ve wandered too far into the green abyss. For siblings Kusti and Iti, a simple foraging trip turns into a folk-horror nightmare when they stumble into the clutches of the Forest Mother, an evil hag with a penchant for child labor and a complete lack of hygiene.

Coming out of the Soviet-era Estonian studio Tallinnfilm, Bumpy (originally Nukitsamees) is based on the 1920 story by Oskar Luts. But don’t let the fairytale label fool you. This is one of those Eastern Bloc productions that feels like it was fueled by unpasteurized milk and ancient superstitions.

The hag forces the kids into a life of grimy servitude, but the real heart of the film is her son, Bumpy. He’s a shy, soot-covered little creature with literal horns growing out of his head. While his family is busy being quintessential forest-dwelling creeps, Bumpy forms a bond with Iti. It’s the kind of beauty and the beast friendship that can only happen when both parties are terrified of the same matriarch.

When the opportunity for a jailbreak arises, Kusti and Iti don’t just run for the hills. They take the little horned weirdo with them. The third act is essentially a fish-out-of-water story, but the water is a civilized village and the fish is a boy who thinks bath is a four-letter word.

Oh, it is? OK.

Bumpy’s horns and the general grime of the hag’s hut are peak 80s practical effects. There’s a tactile, earthy quality to the sets that makes you want to wash your hands after watching. All with a vibe that balances the thin line between a charming children’s adventure and the kind of movie that gave an entire generation of Estonian kids a permanent fear of the woods.

Director Helle Karis was a master of the musical-fantasy genre in Estonia. She didn’t just make movies; she built worlds that felt like they existed ten minutes behind a secret door in your backyard. It’s weird, it’s rhythmic, and it’s deeply rooted in the idea that family isn’t about whose horns you share, but who helps you escape the forest. If you’ve exhausted your supply of Grimm’s tales and need something with a bit more Estonian grit, this is your strawberry jam.

You can watch this on Cultpix.

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama 2026 Primer: Evilspeak (1981)

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April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on April 24 and 25, 2026. Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included). You can buy tickets at the show, but get there early and learn more here.

The features for Friday, April 24 are Prince of Darkness, Popcorn, Fade to Black and Evilspeak.

Saturday, April 25 has Halloween 4, Halloween 5, A Bay of Blood and Funeral Home.

Post-Carrie, we’ve seen so many films where people turn to the Devil to help them fit in or fight back against bullies. But let’s face it — when you dress up Carrie White or Sissy Spacek or Chloë Grace Moretz, they end up being attractive. But Clint Howard? There’s really no dressing up, Clint.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the man and his many, many contributions to film (Balok from the Star Trek TV series, Carnosaur, Apollo 13, Rock ‘n Roll High School, and so much more). But you can totally see how he fits his role as Stanley Coopersmith in this movie.

Evilspeak starts in the past, where Satanist Father Esteban (Richard Moll, who ends up in these reviews a lot, thanks to films like The Nightmare Never Ends and The Dungeonmaster) and his followers are exiled from Spain and denied the grace of God, unless they renounce Satan and his evil ways. We wouldn’t have a movie if they gave in, right?

Fast forward to the 80’s. Stanley Coopersmith is an orphan, a poor kid who has been allowed into a military school alongside the children of some of the nation’s richest and most powerful people. Everybody — including the teachers — pretty much uses Stanley like a punching bag. While cleaning the church cellar, he finds Father Esteban’s room, which is filled with black magic books and a diary. Stanley uses his 1981 computer skills to translate the book and learn more about Esteban. My words will not translate how great Stanley’s Apple II’s computing power is.

The next morning, Stanley’s classmates tie up his clothes and unplug his alarm clock, which leads him to be punished. As he cleans the stables, the school secretary finds Esteban’s diary. As she plays with the jewels on the cover, pigs attack Stanley. He returns to his room to find all of his belongings destroyed and his book gone.

Sick of running out of computer time, Stanley steals a computer and sets it up in the basement. He’s only missing a few ingredients — human blood and a consecrated host.

That evening, the cook takes pity on Stanley and gives him Fred, a puppy. Seriously, this is the only person in the entire film who treats our hero with an ounce of respect, unlike Coach Collins in Carrie, who tries throughout the film to treat her well.

Stanley gets the Eucharist he needs and notices Esteban’s portrait. As he begins the ritual, students in masks and robes attack him. Stanley’s woes are compounded when the caretaker accuses him of being a thief and attacks him. He yells for help, and the computer starts up, revealing a pentagram. Suddenly, the caretaker’s head is spun around, killing him. As he hides the body in the catacombs, Stanley finds decapitated skeletons and Father Esteban’s crypt.

The secretary tries to pry the jewels out of the black magic book, but bleeds all over it. As she takes a shower, demonic boars attack and eat her. This scene is gratuitous as fuck. It is also incredibly awesome because the movie is just about to stop torturing Stanley and go off the rails.

Stanley gets attacked by his soccer team, who tell him that if he tries to play in the big game, they’ll kill Fred the dog. After seeing him get beaten, the principal kicks him off the team. And it gets worse. As the team goes out drinking, they break into his hidden room and kill his dog.

At this point, I was screaming at the screen for Stanley to do something. It was as if he was listening. He steals another piece of communion and kills a teacher who follows him in by throwing him into a spiked wheel. The ritual begins, and Father Esteban takes control of Stanley’s body, taking up a sword and attacking the church service above.

What follows is a near orgy of destruction. A nail from the Crucifix goes right into the brain of a priest. Wild demon boars emerge while Stanley levitates above them and starts chopping off everyone’s heads in gory, bloody geysers. The lead bully runs, only to meet the zombie caretaker, who rips out his heart. Then, Stanley burns the church to the ground.

I’m not understating this — this is literally five or six minutes of pure Satanic revenge porn. Everyone who did anything to Stanley for the past running time of the film gets it good. It was enough to get this film classified as a “video nasty” in the UK, and there were even more gore scenes, but they have supposedly been lost forever after the MPAA cuts. The final UK release had none of the Black Mass text and none of the gore at the end — what a loss!

If the film ended here, it would be the best movie ever. But no, producer Sylvio Tabet was a devout Christian. That’s why he added a Khalil Gibran quote in the prologue and ended the film with a caption that states that only Stanley survived the attack, but went catatonic and is in Sunnydale Asylum. That said, Stanley’s face shows up on the computer in the basement and promises, “I will return.”

I discovered a great article that discusses just how Evilspeak was allowed to be shot in a Catholic church. Another urban legend of the film is that upon refurbishing part of the church, an aged priest saw the “new church” and dropped to his knees to thank God. I hope he never saw the film, one that Anton LaVey believed explained the Satanic faith (it appears on the approved films list of the Church of Satan’s website and Magus Peter H. Gilmore, High Priest of the COS, stated that the film is Satanic because it depicts “a fellow who is treated unjustly gets revenge on his cruel tormentors. But of course, there are some nifty jabs at Christian hypocrisy along the way…”).

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Lunch Wagon (1981)

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What was in the water in the late 70s and early 80s that we got so many movies about attractive women upsetting the balance of power in the food truck, gas station and restaurant industries? See: Swap Meet, Starhops, The Car Hops, Gas Pump Girls….

Directed by Ernest Pintoff (the director of Jaguar Lives!) and written by Marshall Harvey, Terrie Frankel and Leon Phillips, this has three ladies — Marcy (Pamela Jean Bryant, Don’t Answer the Phone), Shannon (Rosanne Katon, The Swinging Cheerleaders) and Diedre (Candy Moore) — working at Andy’s (George Memmoli) gas station. He’s a peeper, he’s a creep, and soon they inherit a food truck from Dick Van Patten, uncredited as Bernie Simmons, but he’s probably there to see his kids, Nels and James, who were in the cast. They rename it Love Bites, and hijinks ensue.

This has horrible stand-up and the Missing Persons (who are also U.S. Drag on the soundtrack, which has “Mental Hopscotch” and “I Like Boys”) showing up throughout. Rose Marie from Dick Van Dyke? She’s here, too. So is Louisa Moritz, who was Myra in Death Race 2000, Carmela in The Last American Virgin, Chi Chi in Hot Chili and Bubbles in Chained Heat. 

In honor of the film’s opening, Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley proclaimed September 11, 1981, to be Lunch Wagon Day, which included a parade of eighty lunch wagons. But it was more than just trucks; it was a full-scale Hollywood event. Starting at Hollywood and La Brea, the parade featured the Hollywood High School cheerleaders, stuntmen, the film’s star  and even Playboy Bunnies riding in a Mercedes 450 SL, handing out t-shirts. 

The gimmicks didn’t stop there. During the premiere, promoters reportedly gave out Smell-O-Vision cards to crowds waiting in line.

Also known as Come and Get It, this fits into a very specific window where independent producers realized that scrappy women vs. the system was a goldmine. It takes the male-dominated, grease-stained environment, adds a trio of charismatic leads and lets them outsmart everyone while upbeat synth-pop plays. I’m not sad for the time I spent watching.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CULT EPICS BLU RAY RELEASE: School In the Crosshairs (1981)

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Released months before lead Hiroko Yakushimaru’s Sailor Suit and Machine Gun, Nobuhiko Obayashi’s first groundbreaking teenage idol picture is a dazzling mix of special effects and blue-screen artifice, much like the film most know him for, House. Yuka (Yakushimaru) is a schoolgirl who discovers that she has psychic powers, just in time for the freethinkers of her school to come under attack by fascist mind-controlled Venusian kids led by the icy, telepathic Michiru. They enforce a New Order under the guise of academic excellence and discipline that may be the start of the planet going all bodysnatchers. 

It should come as no surprise, given who made this, that this movie goes all candy-coated, what with animation and art intruding into our reality whenever they want to. This was adapted from a novel by Taku Myamura, and it has no problems putting its emotions and politics right in the open. But this isn’t an art film; it’s a crowd-pleaser starring a woman who would become one of Japan’s biggest idols quite shortly.

The film is aggressive in its use of blue-screen composites that don’t strive for realism. Instead, they create a paper doll aesthetic where Hiroko Yakushimaru feels like she’s drifting through a living manga. Expect synthesized skies, hand-drawn lightning crackling over school hallways and dream sequences that bleed into the real world without warning. It’s a film where the background is just as likely to start moving as the actors.

Speaking of the house, in Koji’s home, check out the framed photograph of Yôko Minamida, the actress who played the aunt.

The Cult Epics Blu-ray of this film has a 2K transfer and restoration, and extras like audio commentary by film critic Max Robinson, a visual essay by Phillip Jeffries, an Obayashi poster gallery, trailers, a new slipcase art design by Sam Smith, a reversible sleeve with original Japanese poster art and a repro 24-page Japanese booklet. You can get it from MVD.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Kill Squad (1981)

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After a home invasion leaves Joseph Lawrence (Jeff Risk) paralyzed from the waist down and his wife sexually assaulted and dead, he reaches out to Larry (Jean Glaudé) to bring together their old army team, the Kill Squad: Tommy (Gary Fung), Arthur (Marc Sabin), K.C. (Jerry Johnson), Pete (Francisco Ramírez) and Alan (Bill Cambra). Once, they were prisoners of war, and Joseph earned their undying devotion by distracting the Vietcong by, well, standing on a landmine.

The man behind the attack is Dutch (Cameron Mitchell), but as the team tracks him down, a sniper keeps killing them as if this were a slasher movie and not a revengeomatic. Finally, Larry tracks down Dutch, who dies by accident, which is the very definition of anticlimactic.

It would be, except that — no spoilers needed for something you’ll figure out from the beginning of the film — Joseph explains that he resents the squad for the loss of his leg in Vietnam and faked his paralysis. In fact, he’s the one who paid for men to rape and kill his wife, all so he could get he rmoney and then kill the squad who left him behind.

Then Larry kicks Jeff right into an axe.

You really need to see the intros for each squad member. Tommy is working as a gardener and when that guy refuses to pay him and calls him a slur, he destroys the man in front of a pool party. K.C. is now a pimp with two girls, Salt and Pepper and no, not the rap trio. Pete is a mechanic. Alan is a bad businessman who is just about to lose everything as he does research on bugs, but mainly has sex with all the women in the office. Then, they do fancy weapon katas to show Joseph that they still got it.

Director and writer Patrick G. Donahue also made They Call Me Macho Woman!, Parole Violators, Ground Rules (a modern movie that nevertheless has a post-apocalyptic motorcycle game; this stars Frank Stallone and Richard Lynch and why haven’t I watched this?) and as G. Padon made the adult film Passion Prcession and the poster for that film is in this movie.

The best part? Or worse? The three Vietncong characters are in the credits as Vietnam Dude,” “Another Vietname Dude” and “Yet Another Vietnam Dude.” 

Also known as Patrick G. Donahue’s Kill Squad, because of course it should be.

You can watch this on YouTube.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Kill and Kill Again (1981)

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Kill and Kill Again is a sequel to the film Kill or Be Killed and tells another adventure of Steve Chase (James Ryan), a secret agent martial artist who has been hired by Kandy Kane (Anneline Kriel, whose life should be a movie, between having singer Richard Loring writing the song “Sweet Anneline” about her, followed by nude photos she took for his friend Roy Hilligenn being leaked — in 1977 — as well as being present when boyfriend Henke Pistorius — father of Oscar Pistorius, the legless South African athlete who would shoot and kill his girlfriend — shot himself while cleaning his pistol, as well as a singer and Playboy South Africa cover girl, as well as Miss South Africa 1974 and was later crowned Miss World 1974) to find her father Dr. Horatio Kane (John Ramsbottom), a scientist who has learned how to control minds while trying to turn potatoes into an energy source.

Yes, if you thought Kill and Kill Again would be normal, oh no. Oh no.

The government gives Steve $5 million dollars to pick his own team of super agents, which includes former martial arts champion Gypsy Billy (Norman Robinson), the mystic mystery man who only answers to The Fly (Stan Schmidt, a South African master of Shotokan karate), the goofball Hot Dog (Bill Flynn) who when we first meet him is challenging men to stand in a room while he shoots bullets at them and the former pro wrestler and now construction worker gorilla (Ken Gampu, King Solomon’s Mines).

They’re sent to stop Wellington Forsyth III, a billionaire who has now become Marduk (Michael Mayer), who has taken over the town of Ironville and is looking to create an army of warriors to take over the world. He has wanted Steve to come to challenge his champion, The Optimus (Eddie Dori), an unstoppable fighter.

Yes, in the world of South African martial arts, white men are the greatest fighters in the world.

In the commentary track for this movie, James Ryan said that the third film would have been called Most Dangerous Man and had him appear opposite Sharon Stone. However, FVI went out of business and he headed back to South Africa.

This comes from the same director, Ivan Hall, and was written by John Crowther, who also wrote The Evil That Men Do, Missing In Action and Hands of Steel.

You can watch this on Tubi.

ARROW VIDEO 4K UHD AND BLU-RAY RELEASE: Excalibur (1981)

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Shot entirely on location in Ireland, mainly employing Irish actors and crew, Excalibur was an essential film for the Irish filmmaking industry and helped start the careers of Liam Neeson, Patrick Stewart, Gabriel Byrne and Ciarán Hinds.

It was also known as the Boorman Family Project, as several members of director Jonathan Boorman’s family appear: his daughter Katrine Boorman as Igrayne (Arthur’s mother), his daughter Telsche as the Lady of the Lake, and his son Charley as Mordred as a boy. It was shot a mile from his home, so he was able to stay home for the entire shoot.

Boorman has wanted to make the movie since 1969, yet United Artists saw the three-hour script as too costly and instead offered him The Lord of the Rings, which he did not make but did develop. He ended up using some of the work that went into that adaptation here and was potentially inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

He’d worked with Rospo Pallenberg on that canceled film (as well as Exorcist II: The Heretic and The Emerald Forest; Pallenberg would also direct Cutting Class), so he worked with him here to bring Malory’s Morte d’Arthur to theaters. Boorman said that his film was about “the coming of Christian man and the disappearance of the old religions, which are represented by Merlin. The forces of superstition and magic are swallowed up into the unconscious.”

I love Roger Ebert’s review of this movie, in which he said that the film was both a wondrous vision and a mess, “a record of the comings and goings of arbitrary, inconsistent, shadowy figures who are not heroes but simply giants run amok. Still, it’s wonderful to look at.”

It’s beyond gorgeous, actually, a movie that combines shocking gore with artistic flourishes, like the three ladies in white who attend Arthur to Avalon at the close. Boorman was also smart enough to cast Nicol Williamson as Merlin and Helen Mirren as Morgana Le Fay, two actors who had had a conflict when they acted together in Macbeth. He felt that tension would be seen on screen, and it certainly is. That said, Mirren claimed that the two became friends while making Excalibur.

It rained every single day of the shoot, which added to the film’s foggy look. It had many issues, as the first fight scene had to be filmed three times. It was filmed at night, and the exposure meter was broken, leaving two scenes underexposed.

Boorman’s career is pretty great. Sure, there are the big movies like Deliverance, but I love that he shoots for the fences and makes off-the-wall stuff like Zardoz and Exorcist II: The Heretic. Here’s to less playing it safe for directors, even if the misses turn out to be spectacular losses. I don’t think that can happen in entertainment anymore.

My initial exposure to this film came from Mad Magazine. Often as a kid, we wouldn’t see an R-rated movie until it was on HBO, so many of the films I’ve had to find as an adult were first seen through the eyes of Mad’s Usual Gang of Idiots. This time, Don Martin did the movie adaption. I’m happy to share a few panels with you thanks to Jesse Hamm on Twitter.

The Arrow Video 4K UHD and Blu-Ray release of Excalibur — buy it at the MVD links — has so much. It all begins with a brand-new 4K restoration from the original 35mm negative by Arrow Films, presented in its original aspect ratio of 1.66:1 for the first time on home video. You get both the theatrical and TV cuts, as well as extras like two new audio commentaries: one by Brian Hoyle, author of The Cinema of John Boorman, and the other by filmmaker David Kittredge, director of Boorman and the Devil. There’s also an archival audio commentary by director John Boorman. Plus, there’s The Making of Excalibur: Myth into Movie, a never before released 48-minute documentary directed by Neil Jordan during the production of Excalibur; new interviews with Boorman, Charley Boorman, creative associate Neil Jordan, production designer Anthony Pratt and 2nd unit director Peter MacDonald; Anam Cara, a new featurette on the working friendship of John Boorman and co-writer Rospo Pallenberg featuring a newly filmed interview with Pallenberg; Divided Nature, a brand new featurette by film historians Howard S. Berger and Kevin Marr; trailers; an imkage gallery and Excalibur: Behind the Movie, a 50-minute retrospective documentary in which cast and crew look back on the making of the film. It’s all inside a reversible sleeve featuring two original artwork options, along with a collector’s perfect-bound booklet containing writing by Charlie Brigden, K.A. Laity, Kimberly Lindbergs, Josh Nelson, Philip Kemp, John Reppion, Icy Sedgwick and Jez Winship, a double-sided fold-out poster featuring two original artwork options and six postcard-sized reproduction art cards.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Final Exam (1981)

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You remember that interview where Vanilla Ice tried to explain why he didn’t steal Queen/David Bowie’s “Under Pressure?”

I’d like to hear whoever did the music for this movie to explain how they added a “da na na” to the theme from Halloween. Then again, there’s plenty more that this movie owes to that film.

A killer with a kitchen knife is on the prowl, killing off college kids. And he’s on the way to Lanier College during finals.

Meanwhile, a fraternity stages a mass shooting to help their members pass a chemistry test. How does this plan work? Who comes up with such a plan?

While students prepare for the end of the year, the killer is hiding among them. We have Courtney, who is the Final Girl, of course. Her roommate is Lisa, who is all into the hot professor. Well, not really hot. He’s a professor, though.

For some reason, all of the pledges can’t dare anyone. But Gary is in love with Janet and pins her, so he gets punished by being tied up to a tree, his underwear filled with ice and then sprayed with shaving cream. What? Where did this ritual come from? Who goes through with this? Even the rest of the town, like the security guard, follow these rules. What is the deal with this school?

Well, he’s tied up and the killer gets him. Then it gets his girlfriend, too. While that’s going on, Wildman, a frat guy, is looking for pain pills when he gets killed by a Universal weight machine. His friend Mark tries to find him and he gets killed.

Then we have Radish, who isn’t gay in the movie but would totally be a proud out character if this was made after 1981. He’s constantly looking for killers and has a great poster collection of old films. All his knowledge of murder doesn’t help, as he’s instantly killed.

Lisa tries to model for her boyfriend in the nude, but she gets killed, too. And now we’re down to one and the killer even catches an arrow and stabs the coach with it when he tries to save Courtney. But then he falls into a hole and she stabs him to death. That’s it. That’s the fight he puts up.

Written and directed by Jimmy Huston (My Best Friend Is a Vampire), this is pretty much Halloween with a killer who was too lazy to get a mask (he was also the fight coordinator for the film).

That said, I wasn’t bored, I laughed out loud at many of the things that Radish did and said, and I enjoyed the arrow catching scene. You’ll be filled with questions. Like, how much chaffing did the short shorts of the 80’s cause?