SLASHER MONTH: Lover’s Lane (1999)

In the wake of Scream, nearly every meta slasher wanted to have something to do with urban legends. This one is about The Hook and take great pains to show us how the original story happened, how a cop got cucked and how a man was blamed for the crimes.

Years later, when the kids are all grown up, The Hook comes back and starts slashing his way through all of them. They don’t need much help, because one of them, Chloe, gets so upset about getting dumped that she tries to drown her boyfriend in front of the entire school.

Look, when I was a kid I had seen so many of these movies that I pretty much was afraid of ever going to a lover’s lane. I mean, it happened, but nearly every time, the cops were the ones that busted us. By some strange coincidence, the two times that happened I was fully clothed and my date was nude and, well, one of those times was in the parking lot for a school for mentally challenged kids and the cop pulled me out of the back seat and walked me around the side and with a tear in his eye said, “I just feel bad for these kids that they can’t do anything and here you are fornicating.”

I was not killed with a hook.

Anyways, Anna Farris made her debut in this movie, which I figure she leaves off her credits. Richard Sanders, who was Les Nessman, plays a therapist. And this was shot in Seattle, which is not a place that I can think of that has had many slashers. It was supposed to be filmed at Mount Si High School in Snoqualmie, but because there had already been a triple murder at the high school, they backed out.

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