Gamera 3: The Revenge of Iris (1999)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: An American living in London, Jennifer Upton is a freelance writer for International publishers Story Terrace and others. In addition, she has a blog where she frequently writes about horror and sci-fi called Womanycom.

In the mid-1990s, Japan’s Daiei (later Kadokawa) films resurrected their 1960s competitor to Toho’s Godzilla series, Gamera. A giant flying turtle-like creature nicknamed “the friend to all children.” 1995’s Gamera: Guardian of the Universe was a considerably more adult film than its predecessors and was a hit with adults and youngsters alike, prompting the sequels Gamera: The Advent of Legion in 1996 and Gamera 3: The Awakening of Iris in 1999 – all written and directed by the very talented Shusuke Kaneko. The first two films in the trilogy are very good. This movie is great. It’s not just a monster movie, it’s an art picture. It’s the Kaiju film that set a new standard in Japanese production for the genre, by which all others that came after we would measure it. 

In the first two installments of the trilogy, Gamera derives his strength through his psychic link with a young teenage girl named Asagi played by Ayako Fujitani and fights off other invading monsters – including the giant bird-like reptilian Gyaos who preys on people like mice – not just a friend to children but as an ancient guardian of humanity.  In this third installment, Gamera is a much darker deity. The people of Japan are sick of dealing with the destruction and unintended casualties from all our hero’s battles. Our new heroine, 13-year-old Ayana (Ai Maeda) holds him personally responsible for the accidental death of her family (including her beloved cat Iris) three years earlier, during a fight with Gyaos. Rather than see him as a saviour, she wants him dead. When she finds a large mysterious egg in a cave, she nurtures the ancient being and names it Iris. The theme of blossoming feminine maturity emerging in parallel with supernatural abilities is overt. As Asagi did in the first two films with Gamera, Ayana  – a dark and brooding girl on the brink of womanhood – psychically bonds with the new entity who absorbs her malice for Gamera fully.  The monster Iris grows into maturity simultaneously with Ayana and when she enters adolescence, attacks Gamera viciously. 

At the film’s climax, physically absorbs Ayana’s entire body in a marvelous sequence of soft dissolves. The soundtrack cuts a single heartbeat as Ayana rests in the fetal position inside Iris in an amniotic-like fluid. The amazingly hypnotic scene that concludes with the mortally wounded Gamera rising to rescue her by ripping into Iris’s womb. He gets his right arm blown off in the process, proving once and for all to Ayana that he is the benevolent kaiju we’ve all come to know and love. Seeing the error of her ways, Ayana thanks Gammy in a quiet moment as emotionally effective as any interactions Fay Wray had with King Kong. Just then, a massive flock of Gyaos approaches the city. His strength depleted, our weary hero marches off to fight for mankind – probably for the last time. Fortunately for us, Gamera isn’t the first or last of his kind as evidenced by the ancient Gamera skeleton graveyard found at the bottom of the sea at the start of the film. He is one is a long line of guardian deities. Sadly, this would be the final time Kaneko would helm a Gamera movie but he explored the ideas of kaiju as Japan’s “old ones” further in 2001 with Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Daikaijû soukougeki, which was also very good. 

    

Gamera 3 uses both the tried-and-true Suitmation/miniature model methods of classic Kaiju special effects in combination with ‘90s CGI to admirable results. Although few and far between, every action sequence is thrilling. No matter. The plot and characters are interesting. The film’s only deficiency lies in an underdeveloped sub-plot involving a mystical doomsday cult that worships Iris and attempts unsuccessfully to take control of her from Ayana. 

When the credits to this film rolled at the American premiere at the Egyptian Theatre in Los Angeles in 1999, the audience awarded Kaneko-san with a 5-minute standing ovation. When the lights came up, he stood up a few rows in front of me, turned toward the audience and bowed, his face filled with emotion. Many people think Japanese giant monster movies are silly. If any film can change that viewpoint, it’s this one. 

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Co-written, directed and produced by Roman Polanski, this film –loosely based upon Arturo Pérez-Reverte’s The Club Dumas — returns its creator to something familiar: no, not being a scumbag who should rot in prison when he’s not being abused by every prisoner. No, I meant the devil.

Polanski approached the subject skeptically, saying, “I don’t believe in the occult. I don’t believe. Period.” Good thing, as there’s a good chance if the afterworld does exist, he’s going to spend a good portion ablaze.

Dean Corso (Johnny Depp) makes his career conning people out of selling him valuable books and then making a profit by reselling them to rich collectors.

One of those collectors is Boris Balkan (Frank Langella), who has recently acquired a copy of The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows by 17th-century author Aristide Torchia. One of only three copies in print, supposedly the writer cribbed the text from Satan himself and was burnt at the stake. Balkan thinks only one copy is the actual book, so he sends out Corso to verify the other two editions.

Everyone the book has been near has fallen to some cruel fates. Andrew Telfer killed himself after selling Corso the book and now his wife (Lena Olin) wants it back, even if she must seduce Corso. And oh yeah, there are different engravings in every book.

By the end, there are rituals, dudes getting set on fire, multiple murders, Johnny Depp having sex with a mysterious girl in front of a castle, the Whore of Babylon and the Ninth Gate being crossed. Honestly, reading it in these words makes the story sound way more exciting than it is, instead of the movie I watched crawl across my screen.

To top it all off, Artisan Entertainment sued Polanski for taking more than $1 million from the budget, as he kept the refunds of France’s value-added tax instead of giving them to the completion bond company. which would be the guarantee that Artisan had a completed film. Wonderful.

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Sleepy Hollow started with Kevin Yagher originally directing Andrew Kevin Walker’s script as a low-budget slasher film. He didn’t get along with Paramount, so he was demoted to prosthetic makeup and Tim Burton was brought in to direct.

Ichabod Crane is played by Johnny Depp. Much like how his role in From Hell, he’s attempting to bring modern science into policework while still knowing about the magic that exists in the world. His romantic partner is Christina Ricci as Katrina Van Tasse, who didn’t enjoy how one-dimensional her character was.

Sleepy Hollow has been the scene of numerous decapitations, which gets Crane sent from New York City to investigate. The truth involves a mercenary soldier (Christopher Walken with Ray Park doing the heavy lifting), an evil stepmother (Miranda Richardson), a witch (also Miranda Richardson) and a pact with the devil himself.

This film is filled with stars from horror movies and the films of Burton. Christopher Lee is a burgomaster. Richard Griffiths plays the town’s magistrate. Sir Michael John Gambon plays Katrina’s father. Real life pedo Jeffrey Jones plays the town’s religious leader. Martin Landau shows up in an uncredited role and Lisa Marie plays Ichabod’s mother, who was killed for practicing witchcraft. Michael Gough, who was in Burton’s Batman films, came out of retirement just to be in this movie. Oh yeah — and Casper Van Dien from Starship Troopers.

The movie looks like a combination of a Hammer film and a Mexico horror movie with Mario Bava joining in. There are tons of forced perspective and limited effects shots, as Mars Attacks! was criticized for its dependence on them.

Because the film was shot with such a blue cast, all of the blood was made the brightest of orange to show up on film. And everything — so it could be controlled — was shot on a soundstage.

While nowhere near the majesty of its Hammer and Bava inspirations, this is a great film. I just recently returned to it and was pleasantly surprised by how well its aged.

Desecration (1999)

Whereas I usually bemoan so many of the low budget efforts that we come across as of late, a lack of funds doesn’t necessarily mean a bad movie when you’re blessed with a wealth of intelligence and inspiration. Such is the case with writer and director Dante Tomaselli’s 1999 effort Desecration, which began its life as a 1994 short film.

Danny Lopes plays Bobby — he would go on to star in several more films for the creator —  a troubled boy who has lost his mother and has been raised by his overly protective and extremely Catholic grandmother. After an accident with a remote control airplane causes a nun’s death, Bobby’s life becomes a true nightmare, both in waking reality and in dreamlike states that attack the viewer when you are least prepared for their onslaught.

We’ve interviewed Dante before, whose cousin is director Alfred Sole, the creator of Alice, Sweet Alice. Much like that film — while becoming an original work all its own — the feeling of dread that one may feel inside a house of worship comes home to roost. I can almost smell the sweet odor of incense and hear the clanging chain of the censer as the priest makes the procession to the altar. And I can remember the sheer worry I felt when one elder priest would bark into a crackling microphone, chastising us all for believing that the Communist menace was dead, as late as 1992.

Desecration is the rare film that can make a gold balloon or an outdoor Christmas decoration lighting up more ominous than a hundred jump scare packed big budget Hollywood film. It’s terrors feel like they come from a real place, from true nightmares, from worries that you have while kneeling and praying for salvation.

You can get the Code Red blu ray of this film from Diabolik DVD or from Kino Lorber. The special edition also comes with the short version of Desecration, a 13 track Witches album and commentary by Tomaselli.

DISCLAIMER: This film was sent to us directly by Dante Tomaselli. That has no impact on this review.

Idle Hands (1999)

My friend and fellow Drive-In Asylum contributor James C. Greening suggested this late 90’s comedy horror film a few weeks back and I hope he likes this! If you want to relive the end of the last century — and listen to lots of pop punk — I figure this is the movie for you.

After Anton Tobias’ (Devon Sawa, Final Destination and Stan in the Eminem video) parents (Fred Willard and Connie Ray) are killed on Halloween, things only get worse. His hand has become possessed, gaining the voice of Robert Englund and the handwork of magician Christopher Hart, who also played Thing in The Addams Family.

Anton’s hand goes on to kill his best friends Pnub (Elden Henson, who played Foggy in Daredevil and was in The MIght Ducks) and Mick (Seth Green) and turn them into zombies. The hand also allows him to finally get closer to next door neighbor Molly (Jessica Alba), a girl he’s been pining over forever.

Then there’s Debi LeCure (Vivica A. Fox), a druid priestess who has been hunting for the spirit in Anton’s hand as it kills people all over the country. Now that his hand is severed, it’s on the loose and attacking people at a school dance. Will Anton survive? Will his hand? Will his new girl? And why would his friends give up on going to heaven? I can tell you that answer: smoking weed.

This film was delayed after Columbine when all teen movies were being monitored. Plus, an elaborate swimming pool sequence with a wall of hands and hell hole was the original way the film would end, but it didn’t work with the rest of the movie’s tone. This further delayed the movie by several months.

Idle Hands has some cool location trivia for horror movie buffs. It was filmed in the same neighborhood as the original Halloween and the high school gym where the dance is filmed was also used in the movie version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Jawbreaker.

Music fans — well, if you like 1990’s kinda punk — will be happy to see The Offspring show up, as well as former Blink-182 guitarist and current UFO researcher Tom DeLonge.

Idle Hands is already in motion before the film even begins and just careens its way through its tale. It’s a pretty goofy little movie that I’d never seen before and probably wouldn’t have if it wasn’t suggested as part of our second horror comedy week. Perhaps if I were a teenager in the late 90’s I would have enjoyed it a bit more. It’s not bad by any means though.

BASTARD PUPS OF JAWS: Deep Blue Sea (1999)

A lot of people talk down on Renny Harlin. But with his films — PrisonA Nightmare on Elm Street part 4: The Dream MasterDie Hard 2 and more — you know exactly what you’re getting. A popcorn movie with no brain ready to entertain you until you can’t take it any more.

Witness his take on shark movies. He gets what works and then makes the movie fly so it doesn’t feel like even half of its 1 hour, 45-minute length. This is lean, mean and ready to bite.

Shot in the same tanks that James Cameron used for Titanic, the idea of this movie is absolutely ridiculous. In a deep sea facility, a team of scientists is using mako sharks to reactivate dead brain cells within patients with Alzheimer’s disease. One of those sharks has already escaped and attacked a boat full of partying teens, so the company behind it all sends Russell Franklin (Samuel Jackson) to investigate.

Doctors Susan McAlester and Jim Whitlock (Saffron Burrows and Stellan Skarsgård) prove their research to Franklin by removing protein complexes from the brain of their biggest shark. Bad idea — one shark is all it takes to mess everything up. It eats up Whitlock’s arm and as he’s being evacuated, inclement weather fouls up everything. His stretcher goes into the shark pen and as one of the sharks grabs it, it pulls the helicopter into the tower, killing anyone who could get the word out that things have gone wrong.

Susan, Russell, shark wrangler Carter Blake (Thomas Jane), marine biologist Janice Higgins and engineer Tom Scoggins (Michael Rapaport) then watch a shark use that very same stretcher to smash its way into the lab, flooding the entire base. Susan then confesses that she and Jim had genetically engineered the brain size of the sharks, which let them harvest more protein. It also made them smarter and deadlier. This is why this movie is wonderful; dumb lapses in science and logic that are glossed over so that more people can be devoured by sharks.

Meanwhile, cook Sherman “Preacher” Dudley (LL Cool J) may have lost his parrot to a shark and almost got cooked in an oven, but he knows the shark’s natural movie predator: explosions. He blows one shark up real good and goes to find the rest of the crew.

When we find the crew, they’re arguing and Russell gives a speech about how everyone has to work together. In any other movie, this is where people would pull it through. Here, a shark emerges and decimates the executive. It’s a moment that will make you stand up on your couch and scream your head off in glee.

What I love about this one is that no one is safe. The people you expect to survive — and the ones you don’t — get killed horribly. If you love watching sharks eat people, good news. This one has it all.

There are a lot of cues to Jaws here: the license plate they find in a shark’s mouth is the same as that movie. And the ways the three sharks are killed — blown up, electrocuted and incinerated — exactly play back the way the shark is killed in Jaws, Jaws 2 and Jaws 3D.

You should totally check this one out. I was actually surprised by how much I loved it. That’s after more than twenty shark movies in a few weeks, so that’s really saying something.

PS: The song LL Cool J does in this film, “Deepest Blue (Shark Fin)” is absolutely insipid. I love it. Do yourself a favor and look up the lyrics.

Dead or Alive (1999)

I have a great plan for anyone that doesn’t want to gain weight over the holidays. Just watch Dead or Alive while you attempt to eat. There’s a chance you may actually lose weight. A lot of weight, depending on how strong your stomach is.

If I were to describe the plot of this film, it’d be this: Ryuichi (Riki Takeuchi, veteran of tons of Japanese mafia films and also King RIKI in the beyond insane Japanese wrestling promotion HUSTLE) and his triad gang are battling for control of the Shinjuku quarter against the Yakuza, with Detective Jojima (Show Aikawa) playing every side against one another, all while he has to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for his daughter’s surgery and deal with his wife cheating on him.

The tagline for this film, however, lists exactly what this is all about. WARNING: This motion picture contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences.

There are literally seven minutes removed for the R rated cut and just discussing what is in those lost minutes would guarantee that this review wouldn’t pass Amazon or IMDB standards.

But man — the first five minutes of this film are completely unhinged. It starts with a band counting off and blasts you into a heavy blast of guitar and a woman diving off a building to her death. Excess upon excess builds, between bathroom dalliances filled with violence and blood, a thirty-foot long line of coke, strippers gyrating, clowns throwing knives at naked people, motorcycles, guns, more strippers and arterial sprays of blood.

There’s also a kiddie pool filled with feces used as a killing device and an ending that literally blows up the entire world. Honestly, you may have to stop watching movies for awhile after this one to detox.

Director Takashi Miike makes little to no sense in any of his films, with none of his films ever having anything in common with one another. They’re hyper-visual blasts of brutality and violence. And trust me — they’re not for everyone. There’s plenty of scenes in this film that will turn the stomach of just about any filmgoer. There’s something here to upset everybody.

We should assume that Alejandro Jodorowsky knows all there is to know about making incomprehensibly bonkers cinema. In a Fortean Times interview, he said, “Takashi Miike, for me, is some kind of genius in some moments, and very terrible in other moments – it’s terrible! But in some moments he is incredible! I don’t admire Miike Takashi completely, but I admire a piece of Takashi Miike.”

There are two sequels with the only constant being Aikawa and Takeuchi in the title roles. All three are up on Shudder and you can watch the first film with and without commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.

Before The Haunting at Hill House: The Haunting (1999)

This version of The Haunting of Hill House went through several ideations and creative hands, starting with Wes Craven, who ultimately decided to make Scream instead. Steven Spielberg, this film’s executive producer, had talked to Stephen King that 1963’s The Haunting was a great starting point and that the Winchester Mystery House would be a great setting. However, the two had creative differences, with King ultimately leaving and creating Rose Red, his take on the story. 

Jan de Bont, who was the cinematographer on the Tippi Hedren project Roar (which we absolutely must get into soon), Cujo and Die Hard, as well as the director of Speed and Twister, is the director of the final product, which was a troubled shoot that had cinematographer Caleb Deschanel (father of Emily and Zooey) leave one week into filming.

Exterior shots and the billiard room scenes use Harlaxton Manor — the house from The Ruling Class — as Hill House, while the interiors were filmed in a dome-shaped hangar in Long Beach, California that once housed Howard Hughes’ gigantic Spruce Goose.

Eleanor “Nell” Vance (Lili Taylor, The Conjuring) has just lost her home after caring for her invalid mother for more than a decade. She gets a call from Dr. David Marrow (Liam Neeson), who is conducting a study of insomniacs at Hill House, which will include Luke Sanderson (Owen Wilson), Theodora (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and two of Marrow’s research assistants.

When they arrive at the foreboding house, they meet its caretakers, the Dudleys (Bruce Dern and theater actress Marian Seldes), who lock everyone into the mansion. Unknown to everyone involved, Dr. Marrow’s doesn’t intend to study insomnia, but instead how the body reacts to fear. He plans on slowly exposing everyone to increasing amounts of terror.

That’s when Dr. Marrow tells the story of Hill House, a place built by Hugh Crain, who built it for his wife and children, who all died at birth. Crain’s wife killed herself before the house was finished and the tycoon became a recluse. One of the assistants doesn’t believe this story and she’s instantly injured, taking Marrow’s two helpers out of the equation as they leave for the hospital.

Before you know it, statues are coming to life, words are being written in blood and statues are trying to drown people. Turns out that Crain used orphans for child labor and would torture and kill them in his home before burning their bodies. He also had a second wife and Eleanor is a relative of the family who feels that she has to stay in the house to keep the children safe forever.

Keep in mind — this isn’t a remake of the Robert Wise film, as the production company didn’t get the rights and weren’t allowed to replicate any of the shots from the original. Instead, they had to start from scratch.

My biggest issue with this film is that has no real idea of what kind of movie it wants to be. Is it a Disney style movie like The Haunted Mansion? Or is a gory shocker? Because if you want to see Owen Wilson get beheaded, well, good news. This is the movie for you. This is a CGI dependent affair and what was cutting edge in 1999 looks dated today, unlike the 1963 film which is timeless.

STEPHEN KING WEEK: The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Originally titled The Curse, this film, based on the real-life Spur Posse case, sat in development hell for two years. One can only wish that it had remained there. How did we as a people allow this movie to happen? If only social media had been around to shame this film into nothingness back then!

The original story was so close to Carrie that the producers decided to go for it and the film finally went into production in 1998 under the title Carrie 2: Say You’re Sorry. However, just a few weeks into production, director Robert Mandel (School Ties, F/X) quit over creative difference and Katt Shea (Stripped to KillPoison Ivy, Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase) stepped in with less than a week to prepare and two weeks’ worth of unusable footage.

Did you like Hackers? Well, if you did, good news. The writer of that movie, Rafael Moreu, also wrote this. Chances are, however, that you disliked that movie. Most people do.

Man, where to start? Well, how about in the past, where Barbara Lang paints a red paint barrier throughout her house to protect her daughter Rachel from Satan? There’s a nice transition here where we go from the young girl holding her puppy to the teen version holding an older version of Walter the dog.

Rachel hates her foster parents (the dad is John Doe from X! and A Matter of Degrees) and only has one friend, Lisa (a pre-American Pie and American Beauty, if only by a few months, Mena Suvari). On the bus, Lisa shares that she just gave up her virginity to Eric (Zachery Ty Bryan of TV’s Home Improvement), a football player.

The truth? It’s all an elaborate game where players get points for sleeping with different girls. Eric rejects her and Lisa dives off the roof of the school, igniting Rachel’s telekinetic powers.

That’s when we meet Sue Snell (Amy Irving, who asked Brian De Palma for his blessing), the only person who came back from the original. She’s now a school counselor and she and Sheriff Kelton are trying to figure out why so many girls have come to her in tears. Never mind that one of them just did a perfect dive off the garden club’s roof.

Meanwhile, Walter the dog gets hit by a car and Jesse, the nice football player takes her to the animal hospital. Becca assures me that Jason London and his twin brother, Jesse, were once a big deal. All I know is that he was in Dazed and Confused.

The football players learn that Rachel figured out the game and alerted the police, so they try and intimidate her. Her powers nearly kill them before her foster parents arrive.

Sue Snell drops the bomb on Rachel soon after. Her father, Ralph White, also was the father of Carrie White, who burned down the school that Sue attended and killed 70 people thanks to her powers. Rachel refuses to believe that they are half-sisters, even after a visit to the burned down school. This is probably where the planned Sissy Spacek cameo would have gone, but she did not want to be in the film. She did allow her old footage to be used, however. There was even a version shot of this scene where Rachel kicked the metal bucket that dropped onto Carrie’s head, but thankfully smarter heads won out.

So Jesse falls in love with Rachel, despite popular girl Tracy being all butthurt about it. Oh yeah — I forgot that American Pie alumnus Eddie Kaye Thomas shows up, too.

The players get out of jail free thanks to the status of their parents. But they want revenge, so they decide to humiliate Rachel. They secretly tape Rachel and Jesse making love and play it at a big party that they’ve invited Rachel to. The players also reveal their sex game and make her believe that Jesse never really loved her.

As they all scream and yell at her (one of them even yells, “They’re all going to laugh at you,” which one imagines they would only know from an Adam Sandler routine), she finally unleashes her power and kills nearly everyone. This is the one great scene in the film, as her shitty tattoo (which looks like the fakest tattoo in the history of the fake tattoo game) becomes vines that descend down her arm.

Sue has somehow stolen Barbara from the mental institution to try and save Rachel, but it causes her death (shades of Miss Collins in the original). Even spear guns and a flare gun can’t stop her. Finally, her mother tells her that she is possessed by Satan and wants nothing to do with her and Rachel begs to die.

Tracy comes into the house and Rachel kills her with absolutely no mercy. As the videotape of Jesse and Rachel plays, she makes him explain. He screams that he loves her but she doesn’t believe it until she hears the same tone on the video. The ceiling collapses on her and he stays by her side to kiss, but she pushes him away as she dies.

A year later, while in his college dorm with her dog (he must have one of those great football player deals that allow you to have a pet on campus and yes, I get the silliness of me being bothered by this when I’ve just watched an entire movie about psychic powers), Rachel appears to him in a dream before she shatters. And yes, that’s the dumbest ending I’ve seen in some time.

This movie is a complete piece of 1990’s shit. It’s all shot with that crushed black/blue filter, everything on the soundtrack sounds like Fear Factory and it makes you realize a time and place where horrible sequels like this and An American Werewolf in Paris were considered good ideas. This would have been better if it were a movie that stood on its own so that I could have ended this article with something like, well, it’s no Carrie. Instead, it shoves that fact into your face from the very first frame.

If you’d like to suffer through this for yourself, Amazon Prime and Hulu have you covered. Man. I hope Stephen King got more than his traditional $1 advance for this.

Wild Zero (1999)

Wild Zero is not a movie. It is an experience, an in your face, melt your brain piece of pure crazy. The kind that makes my wife say, “Do we really own this?”

Yes. We do. I’m going to buy it again just to have it twice.

Ace is our hero, Guitar Wolf’s biggest fan. After he saves the band from a tense standoff with The Captain, an evil music executive, he becomes blood brothers with Guitar Wolf himself (the other members are Bass Wolf and Drum Wolf) and receives a signal whistle for whenever he is in trouble.

Guitar Wolf is so great that flames come out of their mic stands and they blast the crowd with lightning when they play. They sound like fuzz and noise and menace. They are everything perfect about rock and roll.

On his journey to the next Guitar Wolf show, Ace meets Tobio, a Thai stranger on the run. He saves her from a robbery then leaves, but on the road he encounters zombies. Realizing that he’s in love — and inspired by the spirit of Guitar Wolf — he goes back to save her.

There’s a lot of other shit that happens. The Captain comes back to fight Guitar Wolf with a grenade launcher (which Guitar Wolf shrugs off, only pausing to tune his guitar). There are zombie fights galore. Many, many heads explode. A naked military girl kills zombies from her shower. Oh yeah — and Ace finds out that Tobio is really a guy, a fact that this movie celebrates. Yes — instead of making jokes, the spirit of Guitar Wolf tells Ace that “Love has no borders, nationalities or genders! DO IT!” Keep in mind this movie was made nearly twenty years ago, so this is pretty amazing.

Everyone finds love. Ace and Tobio find it. Two kids find it even after becoming zombies. Guitar Wolf and his bandmates find it for rock, roll and beer.

Oh yeah and Guitar Wolf plays Link Wray’s “Rumble,” then takes the headstock off his guitar and cuts a UFO in half.

I can’t say anything else. If that sentence doesn’t make you watch this movie, you are dead to me.