RADIANCE FILMS BLU-RAY RELEASE: Agitator (2001)

If you’re a fan of the kind of cinema that feels like a pressurized steam pipe about to burst, Takashi Miike is your dude. While most directors would be happy finishing one masterpiece in a lifetime, Miike dropped Ichi the Killer, Visitor Q and The Happiness of the Katakuris all in the same year as this movie, a yakuza epic that trades the cartoonish gore of Ichi for a dense, Shakespearean power struggle drenched in sweat and cigarette smoke.

It all kicks off when a yakuza member, played by Miike himself, decides to violently assault a hostess on rival turf. He gets whacked for his trouble, and just like that, the match is dropped into a pool of gasoline. This isn’t just a street fight; it’s a catalyst for a full-scale gang war, as every faction in the city scrambles for a piece of the pie.

Written by Shigenori Takechi (Graveyard of Honor), Agitator isn’t just a shoot-’em-up. It’s a dual-layered look at how the mob actually works: You’ve got the senior figures like Mr. Kaito (played by Hiroki Matsukata, The Rapacious Jailbreaker) doing the backroom maneuvering. These guys treat human lives like chess pieces, playing a slow game of political redistribution. Then you have the low-level soldiers and street-level mobsters who actually have to bleed for the decisions made in those air-conditioned offices. The movie builds toward an inevitable collision where the suits and the tracksuits finally clash in a messy, tragic finale.

For the longest time, we only had the theatrical cut. But Miike doesn’t do brief. This release finally brings the two-part, 200-minute extended version out of the shadows of Japanese VHS obscurity. It’s a sprawling, epic deep dive into the yakuza underworld that demands you sit down, shut up, and watch the world burn.

As one character says, “If life is shit, then why shouldn’t the two of us smash into it as hard as we can?” Any movie that ends with two men driving a stick of dynamite into a building is one I love.

The Radiance Films Blu-ray of Agitator has a high-definition digital transfer of theatrical version and a standard definition transfer of 200 minute extended version of this movie, presented in its original two-part form; a newly filmed interview with Takashi Miike; audio commentary by Tom Mes; a trailer; a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Time Tomorrow and a limited edition booklet featuring new writing by Tom Mes. You can get it from MVD.

VISUAL VENGEANCE BLU RAY RELEASE: Date With a Vampire/Blood Craving (2001, 2002)

Date With a Vampire (2001): If you spent any time wandering the aisles of a mom-and-pop video store, you know the vibe of SOV (shot-on-video) movies, produced during a time when digital cameras were making everyone with a tripod think they were the next Jean Rollina, and many of them are!

Date with a Vampire mixes softcore erotica with horror. Directed by Jeffrey Arsenault, written by Kevin J. Lindenmuth and featuring an appearance by cult East Coast horror actor Joe Zaso, this is Violet (Lori Thomas), a vampire who brings men home for both pleasure and someone to drink.

We follow Violet (Lori Thomas), a vampire who operates with a very specific business model: bring guys home, give them a little hospitality and then turn them into a liquid lunch. It’s a simple life, really.

Enter Chuck (Robin Macklin). Violet gives him a love bite so potent it triggers a psychotropic hallucination involving a sapphic encounter with Rebecca (Cynthia Polakovich). Poor Rebecca doesn’t last long, though. She ends up as a snack for a basement-dwelling creature played by East Coast indie legend Joe Zaso (5 Dead on the Crimson Canvas).

Somehow, this film’s hour-long runtime still seems much longer. Perhaps that could be the fault of a movie all in one or two rooms, with long dialogue and multiple extended softcore scenes. That said, I would have totally rented this in 2001 if my local store had a better selection than what we got. And I applaud the lo-fi feel of this!

Blood Craving (2002): Director and writer Jeffrey Arsenault kind of owned the SOV-era erotic vampire shelf, if there was one in your video store, if not through sheer force of will than through how many of these movies he made: Crimson NightsCrimson KissesCrimson DesiresVampire Playmates 2, Date With a Vampire and this film.

Originally a sequel to his movie Night Owl, this has a short run time. The most jarring and, frankly, delightful part of the experience is that a massive chunk of that runtime is dedicated to an interview with the legendary Caroline Munro. Yes, that Caroline Munro, the Bond girl and Hammer Horror icon. Finding her in the middle of a grainy, ultra-low-budget SOV vampire flick is like finding a vintage Bordeaux inside a juice box. Consider me shocked, pleased and slightly confused as to how she ended up here, but I’m certainly not complaining.

Inspired by Joe D’Amato’s Emanuelle and Françoise, this stars Tiffany Helland as Jillian, who is really great in it. As I said at the top of this, some filmmakers in this era may have aspired to Jean Rollin-style movies. This one gets close, and with a bit more story, it could overtake the lead film in the Visual Vengeance set, Date With a Vampire.

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This Visual Veneance release features an SD master from original tape elements, commentary with director Jeffrey Arsenault; interviews with Arsenault, Kevin J. Lindenmuth, Cynthia Polakovich and Joe Zaso; location videos; an image gallery; an original trailer; commentary and interview on Blood Craving with Jeffrey Arsenault; an After Midnight Entertainment: trailer reel; Visual Vengeance trailers; a reversible sleeve featuring new Blood Craving art; a folded mini-poster and a limited edition O-Card by Rick Melton. Get it from MVD.

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2025: THIR13EN Ghosts (2001)

Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year, they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which works to save the lives of cats and dogs across America, giving pets second chances and providing them with happy homes.

Today’s theme: Haunted House

A remake of William Castle’s 13 Ghosts, I have a soft spot in my heart for this movie, despite it being a big-budget horror movie made in the last twenty years. It all starts with ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham) and his assistant Dennis Rafkin (Matthew Lillard) trying to capture a ghost in a junkyard. Nearly everyone is killed, but the ghost is taken. 

Cyrus’ nephew Arthur (Tony Shalhoub) is told he has inherited his uncle’s mansion, so he moves there with his kids, Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth) and Bobby (Alec Roberts), and their nanny, Maggie (Rah Digga). As lawyer Ben Moss (JR Bourne) explains the home, Dennis has snuck in as a repairman. The family explores the house, which is filled with transparent walls inscribed with Latin spells. As Moss tries to steal some money, he breaks a wall and is soon killed; one of the ghosts is released, and all of them represent something Arthur sought to harness: the Black Zodiac.

At the same time, Kalina Oretzia (Embeth Davidtz) has snuck in to free the ghosts, one of whom, the Withered Lover, is Arthur’s late wife Jean (Kathryn Anderson). The house is a machine powered by the captive ghosts, allowing the owner to see the past, present, and future. However, a thirteenth ghost — which comes from a sacrifice motivated by pure love — can shut the house down. Arthur believes that he must become that ghost to save his children.

The truth is, the thirteenth ghost will actually activate the machine and Cyrus is alive. He and Kalina are lovers and plan to use his home and the Ocularis Infernum to become incredibly rich. The Black Zodiac that powers the machine are:

  • The First Born Son, a boy named Billy Michaels (Mikhael Speidel), who loves cowboys and Indians. He was killed by an arrow shot at his head by another young boy.

  • The Torso is a gambler named Jimmy Gambino (Daniel Wesley). He was killed by gangsters, wrapped in plastic and dumped in the ocean.

  • The Bound Woman is Susan LeGrow (Laura Mennell), a cheerleader who cheated on her quarterback boyfriend on prom night and was strangled.

  • The Withered Lover, as mentioned above, is Arthur’s wife Jean, who died in a house fire.

  • The Torn Prince is Royce Clayton (Craig Olejnik), a baseball player who died in a drag race.

  • The Angry Princess, Dana Newman (Shawna Loyer), constantly tried to improve her looks through plastic surgery. She tried to operate on her own face and then committed suicide. She’s the ghost that emerges and kills Moss.

  • The Pilgrimess is Isabella Smith (Xantha Radley), a victim of the Salem witch trials who was starved to death.

  • Harold and Margaret Shelburne (C. Ernst Harth and Laurie Soper) are the Great Child and the Dire Mother. Margaret was a circus dwarf who was assaulted by the tall man in the freak show; Harold was the result. After she was killed, he murdered most of the sideshow.

  • The Hammer is George Markley (Herbert Duncanson), a black blacksmith whose family was killed when he was accused of stealing from a white man. He took his hammer and killed the men who killed them, before he was caught and killed by having railroad spikes hammered into his body.

  • The Jackal is Ryan Kuhn (Shayne Wyler), a sex predator who died in a sanitarium fire.

  • The Juggernaut is Horace Mahoney (John DeSantis), a serial killer who is the most dangerous of all the ghosts.

Arthur was supposed to become the 13th ghost, The Broken Heart, and activate the machine designed by the devil and powered by the dead. Is there even a final ghost? Hmm…maybe you should watch the movie.

There’s an exciting plan to create a TV series that will delve deeper into the stories of all the ghosts. As a fan, I can’t wait for this to happen.

Directed by Steve Beck (Ghost Ship) and written by Neal Marshall Stevens and Richard D’Ovidio, this movie deserved a better reception than it initially received. If only we knew how much worse horror movies would get, we might have appreciated this more.

ARROW VIDEO 4K UHD RELEASE: Swordfish (2001)

Master hacker Stanley Jobson (Hugh Jackman) was busted by the FBI for infecting their Carnivore program with a computer virus. He can’t even look at a computer ever again. He can’t see his ex-wife Melissa (Drea de Matteo) or daughter Holly (Camryn Grimes) because of a restraining order.

Then, Gabriel Shear (John Travolta) offers him $10 million for one last hacking job.

Ginger Knowles (Halle Berry), who gets him into this, may be a DEA agent. Gabriel could be the boss of Black Cell, a secret organization created by J. Edgar Hoover to battle terrorists. Or he could be dead and the Gabriel we’ve met is someone else.

It could be both, to tell the truth, because Gabriel loves misdirection.

With support from Don Cheadle, Sam Shepard and Vinnie Jones, this starts with a 135 camera-filmed explosion that has CGI elements. It starts strong and keeps moving, a film that really got Jackman and Berry noticed by audiences.

The Arrow Video release of this movie has commentary by director Dominic Sena, interviews with composer Paul Oakenfold and production designer Jeff Mann, the promotional HBO First Look: Swordfish, another feature on the effects, a music video, conversations with the actors, two alternate endings and a theatrical trailer. It comes inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Tommy Pocket. The sleeve includes a double-sided fold-out poster and an illustrated collector’s booklet. The booklet features new writing on the film by Priscilla Page and an article from American Cinematographer about the film’s opening sequence. You can order Swordfish from MVD.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Super Troopers (2001)

Aug 4-10  Stoner Comedy Week: I don’t gas reefer anymore, but I love it when people in movies do!

For a fifty-mile stretch of the highways surrounding Spurbury, Vermont, Captain John O’Hagen (Brian Cox), Lieutenant Arcot Ramathorn (Jay Chandrasekhar), “Rabbit” Roto (Erik Stolhanske), “Mac” Womack (Steve Lemme), Rodney “Rod” Farva (Kevin Heffernan) and Carl Foster (Paul Soter) are the law. Mainly, their power is used for pranks and shenanigans (“Hey Farva, what’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy stuff on the wall and the mozzarella sticks?”) until a Winnebago with a dead body and tons of drugs is found. The local cops get there first and won’t share the investigation. Maybe now is a good time for the troopers to actually be police officers.

Made by the comedy team Broken Lizard, Super Troopers was inspired by road trips to weddings by Steve Lemme and Jay Chandrasekhar, who were frequently high. They were also frequently getting pulled over by cops, who could have screwed with them had they only known how out of their minds the two were.

This brings back the hijinks ensue form. All you need to know is the basic outline, and you can come in at any moment for this quotable film. You either love it or you think it’s immature, but who cares? For example, I say lines from this scene all the time:

Dimpus Burger Guy: Double baco cheeseburger. It’s for a cop.

Farva: What the hell’s that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. Don’t spit in that cop’s burger.

Or this scene…

Captain O’Hagan: There was a time when we’d take a guy like you in the back and beat you with a hose. Now you’ve got your God-damned unions.

Farva: Cap’n… you know I’m not a pro-union guy.

Or this…

Farva: Gimme a litre o’ cola.

Dimpus Burger Guy: What?

Farva: A litre o’ cola.

Thorny: Just order a large, Farva.

Farva: I don’t want a large Farva. I want a goddamn litre o’ cola.

Obviously, I have seen this film too many times to be objective.

Also: Brian Cox is the best Hannibal Lecter.

Chattanooga Film Festival 2025 Red Eye #6: Southlander (2001)

Originally titled Recycler, after the Los Angeles magazine of the same name, this has a keyboard player named Chance (Rory Cochrane) getting to tour with dub-pop band Future Pigeon and their lead singer Rocket (Beth Orton), as long as he finds his signature sound. It exists in a Molotron keyboard which gets stolen the night before the tour, which leads Chance and Ross Angeles (Ross Harris) through Los Angeles in a search to get it back.

With appearances by Beck, Hank 3, Jennifer Herrema from Royal Trux, Gregg Henry from Body Double, skateboard legend Mark Gonzales, Laura Prepon in her first role, former pro wrestler Joshua Ben-Gurion, that dog drummer Tony Maxwell, Elliot Smith and even Robosaurus, this was directed by Steve Hanft, who wrote it with Rossie Harris and Bob Stephenson. He directed Beck’s video for “Loser,” as well as Kill the Moonlight, another film about someone named Chance with a dream.

If you like ramshackle journeys through dark nights of the soul, well, good news. This is a good one to watch, if only to see Elliot Smith drive a bus.

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles, as well as updating my Letterboxd list of watched films.

CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL 2025: Inertia: Re-Making The Crow (2001)/James O’Barr’s The Crow (1998)

Inertia: Re-Making The Crow (2001): Directed by David Ullman along with Matt Jackson, who in their teen years decided to take an obsession over the film The Crow and recreate it with a version closer to James O’Barr’s original graphic novel. Shot on video and in black and white, this took four years and drove Ullman’s family insane.

The original pitch for this doc was wide in its scope: “I’d like Inertia to be both an examination of how we created our movie and an exploration of the comic from which it came. Using behind-the-scenes footage, photographs, and interviews, the documentary will illustrate the process by which two 14-year-olds successfully adapted a comic of such breadth, texture, and intensity; the challenges their limited resources presented; and the creativity used to overcome them, ultimately showing how passion can overcome adversity.

Additionally, an underlying study of O’Barr’s piece and a character study of the young filmmaker for whom this project became an obsession should be included. The picture should play like Hearts of Darkness meets Looking For Richard.”

The original documentary was attacked for copyright reasons, but over the years, it has played several film festivals and is more than just about the comic book or the movie. It’s about how two young men from Ohio matured as artists and made something together that would inform the rest of their lives.

You can get this movie on VHS from Lunchmeat VHS.

James O’Barr’s The Cro(1998): Created by David Ullman and Matt Jackson over four years, throughout their high school years, this is what SOV is all about: obsessive devotion. When their friends didn’t show up, when their family didn’t understand, they kept making this movie.

On Ullman’s site, he has this quote: “There’s this aura to the book. When you look at it, you feel something. There is blood on the page, and you can sense that. It’s very affecting. I think they captured that beautifully in the Miramax film, and it was our intention at first to make a hybrid of the existing movie and the comic book. But the more serious we became about the project in general, the more we wanted to really delve into the book, explore its themes and characters, create something more of our own.”

Both star in the film, with Ullman as Eric Draven and Jackson as Top Dollar. The sets were in the family bedroom. Over four years, they learned how to take a comic book, transform it into a script and storyboard, and then create art from it.

I get it. I saw The Crow so many times in the theater, I listened to the soundtrack over and over, and there are even Halloween party photos somewhere of me as a chubby Crow, carrying my guitar and a gun. 1994 was a big time for this movie. Here’s to two filmmakers who pushed for this and made it a reality on a budget that’s so much less than Hollywood would ever attempt.

You can watch this on YouTube thanks to Lunchmeat VHS.

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles, and updating my Letterboxd list of watched films.

JUNESPLOITATION: Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

June 18: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Rock and Roll!

This movie is so much better than it has any right to be. The third movie in a series of air disaster movies with a Hot Topic aesthetic should not be this good.

Slade Craven (John Mann, lead singer of Spirit of the West) is the Marilyn Manson of this universe, set to play his final concert on a TransContinental Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Toronto that will be covered by Z-Web-TV, who has sent cameraman Ethan (Ben Derrick) and reporter Erica Black (Monika Schnarre, who of course we all know from Waxwork II: Lost In Time).

FBI agent Kate Hayden (Gabrielle Anwar) has been trying to arrest computer hacker Nick Watts (Craig Sheffer, Cabal from Nightbreed) and finally tracks him down, just in time for Craven to get replaced by Satanic superfan Simon Flanders, who wants to crash this plane into Stull, Kansas. FBI agents Frank Garner (Joe Mantegna, predating his FBI agent role on Criminal Minds) and Dave Barrett (Mike Dopud) come on board just in time for Satanic agents to blow up a control tower, killing an FAA agent (Brad Loree, who was Michael Myers in Halloween: Resurrection).

When fans see through Simon’s disguise, he reveals that Erika — and co-pilot MacIntosh (Rutger Hauer) — are both part of the plan to crash the plane. Why Stull, Kansas? According to Wikipedia, “Since the 1970s, the town has become infamous due to an apocryphal legend that claims the nearby Stull Cemetery is possessed by demonic forces.” The film even brings up the unproven story that Pope John Paul II refused to fly over the city because of how Satanic it is.

Craven ends up saving the day and with the help of the hacker — and a copy of Flight Simulator — he lands the plane. The hacker is supposed to be arrested, but we’re left with the idea that he’s about to have kinky sex with the FBI agent.

The funniest part is when Temu Marilyn Manson has to land the plane. He takes off his evil necklace and starts to pray to God. This is after a long scene where he gets checked by the TSA and has to show off every evil piece of jewelry he has.

The last movie released by Trimark, this was directed by Jorge Montesi — it has the look of TV shows, like his work on Total Recall 2070Relic HunterJake 2.0Mutant XHighlanderForever Knight and the TV movies Omen IV: The Awakening and the remake of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? — and written by Wade Ferley.

Do we not know that Craig Sheffer was in the last movie in this series in a different role? Is this prescient as it pertains to 9/11? Do I like the drugs even if they don’t like me?

You can watch this on Tubi.

ARROW VIDEO UHD RELEASE: Jason X (2001)

In 2010 — 9 years in the future from when this was made, 15 years in the past from when this was written! — Jason is captured by the U.S. government but can’t be killed, so government scientist Rowan LaFontaine decides to place the killer in suspended animation. Of course, a bunch of soldiers screws the whole thing up and Jason kills everyone in his path before he stabs Rowan and freezing both of them.

445 years later, Earth is ruined, so everyone moves to Earth 2. So why not send some students back to the old Earth on a field trip? Why not send their Professor and an android, too? While exploring the Crystal Lake facility where Jason was experimented on? And why not put the still frozen bodies of Jason and Rowan on the Grendel, their ship? Nothing bad can happen, right?

Well, it turns out that Jason is dead and his body could be worth plenty. The Professor calls his money man, Dieter Perez (Robert A. Silverman, who has been in five Cronenberg* movies and the two episodes of Friday the 13th: The Series that he directed, too), and they discuss how Jason’s body could be worth something to collectors. Luckily — or maybe not — they bring Rowan back to life.

Of course, kids keep having sex around Jason, which brings the maniac back to life. He wipes out nearly everyone on the ship, including all the soldiers on board. He even takes out an entire space station!

The teens upgrade their android, KM-14, which wipes out Jason. Or so everyone thinks — a medical station brings him back as Uber Jason, filled with cybernetics so powerful that he can punch the android’s head off. Not even a holographic simulation or a shuttle crash can slow him down! It takes flying him through re-entry and burning him up to take him out.

That said — two teens see his mask land on Earth 2, so he could always return. He can come back, right?

This was written by Todd Farmer (Drive Angry, the remake of My Bloody Valentine) and directed by James Isaac (House 3). I have a real weakness for this film as it goes places none of the others did. It’s the Abbott and Costello school of running out of ideas and doing something completely off the wall. It’s been a punchline forever, but you owe it to yourself to watch it again!

*Cronenberg shows up in a cameo as Dr. Wimmer, too!

The Arrow Video UHD release of Jason X has an introduction to the film by Kane Hodder, three audio commentaries (film historians Michael Felsher and Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton; writer Todd Farmer and author Peter Bracke; director Jim Isaac, writer Todd Farmer and producer Noel Cunningham), an interview with Harry Manfredini, a making of, archival interviews with Farmer and actor Kristi Angus, archival docs on the history of the character and the making of the movie, cast and crew interviews, behind the scenes footage, an electronic press kit, trailers and TV commercials and stills, behind the scenes and poster galleries, all inside a reversible sleeve featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin with a double-sided foldout poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Gary Pullin and an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by Matt Donato and JA Kerswell. You can get it from MVD.

MILL CREEK BLU RAY RELEASE: The King of Queens (1998-2007)

Premiering on CBS on September 21, 1998, The King of Queens was one of those shows that always seemed to be on. I had never watched it, and all I knew about Kevin James was that he was Mick Foley’s high school wrestling teammate. But when I showed the box set on our weekly “What Came In the Mail” segment on the Drive-In Asylum Double Feature, people were excited and told me that I needed to watch it soon.

It’s a simple set-up. Doug (Kevin James) and Carrie Heffernan (Leah Remini) are pretty much The Honeymooners, a middle-class couple living in Queens, except that her father Arthur (Jerry Stiller) has lost his latest, much younger wife and burned his house down, so now he has to live with them. That’s all there is to it, as it’s about them, their weird friend, and Doug’s schemes to get ahead.

There’s Doug’s straight man, Deacon Palmer (Victor Williams), nerdy mommy’s boy Spencer “Spence” Olchin (Patton Oswalt), cousin Daniel Heffernan (Gary Valentine), dog walker Holly Shumpert (Nicole Sullivan) and even Lou Ferrigno, playing himself. Plus, as you know, I love crossovers; there are four with Everyone Loves Raymond.

The leads are fun, everyone knows their role, and this feels like the kind of show you can just put on and veg out to. I love sitcoms and feel like they’re kind of lost art, so it was fun getting into this for a few episodes. I didn’t like the last season, where Doug and Carrie split, but I could see myself watching more of it.

What fascinates me is that when James started his second show, Kevin Can Wait, his wife, Donna Gable, was portrayed by Erinn Hayes. Yet in the second season, she died off camera and was replaced by Vanessa Cellucci (played by Leah Remini), Kevin’s former rival from the police who becomes his partner in life and at a security company, Monkey Fist Security. Donna’s death is off-handedly mentioned by someone saying, “Ye, it’s been over a year since she died.”

This is where it gets meta.

On the AMC TV show Kevin Can F**k Himself, Allison McRoberts (Annie Murphy) has a man-child of a husband, Kevin (Eric Petersen), who sees life as a sitcom while hers is a drama. Kevin becomes so horrible to her that she begins to plan his death. When people find out, she fakes her passing, and he soon gets another girlfriend who looks and acts exactly like Allison.

She’s played by Erinn Hayes.

I’ve always wondered how we got the beautiful, capable wife and immature husband dynamic ingrained in us and how many relationships it has harmed. It makes me think about how I behave. Then again, as I write this, I am in a basement surrounded by movies and action figures. Hmm.

Mill Creek has released every episode in one gigantic box set. It has extras such as James doing commentary on the pilot with show creator Michael Weithorn; a laughs montage; behind the scenes; a writers featurette; a salute to the fans and the 200th episode celebration. You can get it from Deep Discount.