Have we ever mentioned how much we love Cirio H. Santiago?

Oh yeah. We have.

If you watch that quick clip of this movie and don’t fall in love with this movie, there’s no hope for you.

Firecracker, also known as Naked Fist, is everything you want in a mindless action movie.

Did you like seeing Cookie (Jillian Kesner) kick ass in Raw Force? Of course you did.

Did you love watching Cody Abilene (Darby Hinton) make love to the ladies and being sauve in Malibu Express? You know you did.

What if we put them both in the same movie, had them fight a lot and then throw in a love making scene where they use scissors to cut one another’s clothes off?

And what if it was gory and had dinner theater that featured martial arts battles to the death?

Kesner is Susanne, a karate instructor who travels to the Philippines — where life is cheap — looking for her missing sister. That’s when she meets the mustache that she must ride on the face of Chuck, played by Hinton. This movie has enough sexual tension to burn down the internet, intercut with all manner of ridiculous fisticuffs.

People get impaled. People get killed with snakes. People act sleazy. People eat dinner while other people fight to the death.

Some movies, you wonder, can it live up to the poster? Firecracker is the kind of movie where you wonder, “Can the poster be good enough for how awesome this movie is?”

You can watch this on Tubi.