Back in 1957, evil aliens from the mind of Ed Wood initiated a plan to conquer the Earth with a fighting force created from the reanimated dead.
In 1970, Toho Studios brought us Yog – Monster from Space (aka Space Amoeba), a tale about Jupiter-based amoeba-like extraterrestrials who transform an octopus (well, its little cousin, a cuttlefish) into a giant kaiju to conquer the Earth.
In 1977, Ed Hunt — in conjunction with Hal Roach Studios — gave us bonkers underwater aliens sporting some nifty Gumby-space pajamas with Starship Invasions.
And in 2020, Mark Polonia — with a special effects assist from Brett Piper — brings us aliens who devise a plan to conquer the Earth with . . . sentient, telepathic sharks.
Yes, you heard me right. Jaws In Space. (All due respect to The Asylum and Syfy unleashing their “sharks in space” romp with 2015’s Sharknado 3: Oh, Hell No!, of course.) But please, don’t sue Polonia Studios, Mr. Spielberg. Mark is just trying to make a living doing what he loves: providing us with ’50s-cum-’60s retro-monster and sci-fi romps.*
Images from the one-sheets may not appear in the actual film.
As with any Polonia production — or Brett Piper, for that matter — the familiar cast of friends is here, with Titus and Natalie Himmelberger, Jennie Russo, Jeff Kirkendall, and Steve Diasparra starring in a $30,000 tale about hostile aliens crash landing in the ocean, using their telepathic abilities to control sharks and protect an ancient alien bounty down below.
Leading the charge against the aquatic-bound invasion is Kay Radtke (Jennie Russo), who just so happens to return to town to take over her late father’s alien abduction support group. Helping Kay are Sloan (Jeff Kirkendall from The Ghost of Camp Blood) and director Mark Polonia as two fisherman-turned-treasure hunters (the aka “Quint and “Hooper”), and Alan Cason (Titus Himmelberger, Outpost Earth) as the “Sheriff Brody” of the proceedings.
It’s all bought to you from the twisted pen of John Oak Dalton, who also brought you Mark Polonia’s Jurassic Prey, Amityville Death House, and Amityville Island** — and if you’ve seen Amityville Island, then you’ll recognize the CGI sharks from that film, here. (Waste not, want not!) My only complaint: Why didn’t you guys pull a “Yog” and bring in Pee Wee from Queen Crab to help the sharks take over the Earth?
But it’s not too late! Since the defeated aliens left us with intelligent sharks — that now warn “they hate us” and “they rule the oceans” — we wait for the Polonia-Piper rip of Planet of the Apes, only with sharks. And, considering they made two Apes rip offs — Empire of the Apes and Revolt of the Empire of the Apes . . . we wait with chum-bated breath . . . and hope Pee Wee shows up to turn us humans into a surf n’ turf platter-to-go.
You can find Mark Polonia’s 56th directing effort on all of the usual streaming platforms via Wild Eye Releasing. You can keep up to date with the latest from Wild Eye on You Tube and Facebook. And don’t forget to find Wild Eye’s library of films as free-with-ads streams on Tubi TV.
* You need more retro-romps? Then be sure to check out our “Drive-In Friday” homage to Brett Piper.
** Check out our full list of ALL of the Amityville films — including official sequels and sidequels, remakes and ripoffs — with our “Exploring: Amityville” featurette. If a film has a word after “Amityville” in the title, we’ve seen it.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Moviesand publishes on Medium.
A toast! Let’s raise those waxed cups n’ strawed A&W Root Beers to Harry “Tampa” Hurwitz and his return to the big screen with Robert De Niro starring in the remake of Harry’s 1982 feature, The Comeback Trail.
Prior to his tenure as a screenwriter, director and producer, the New York born and raised Hurwitz worked as a professor of film and drawing at several New York institutions, including a prestigious tenure at New York University.
That’s what I get for hiring a high school kid to do the sign. Eh, you get what you $5.00-buck-an-hour pay for, right? Know your “rose” suffixes, kid.
He made his debut as a filmmaker with 1970’s critically-acclaimed The Projectionist — a film noted as the acting debut for a then unknown comedian named Rodney Dangerfield — in a tale about a lonely projectionist (Chuck McCann) who imagines himself in the films he shows. Hurwitz also translated his life-long love of Charlie Chaplin in the 1972 sophomore effort, The Eternal Tramp.
While his films would see distribution with major studios, such as MGM/United Artists (Safari 3000), and major-independents, such as Almi Pictures, a division of Carolco (The Rosebud Beach Hotel), and Compass International (Nocturna), Hurwitz produced and directed 12 pictures, 9 of which he wrote, independently.
His resume features two films produced with a pre-Empire Studios Charles Band: the late ’70s sexploitation pieces Fairy Tales and Auditions. Hurwitz also wrote and directed 1972’s Richard, a social parody on President Richard M. Nixon. He re-teamed with his lifelong friend Chuck McCann in 1982’s The Comeback Trail, a somewhat semi-autobiographical tale about two independent film executives against-the-odds in producing a western with a washed-up cowboy star.
“Rose” BLANK And the $50 response is . . . “Is a Rose” The$150 response is . . . “Wood” And the $500 response . . . “Bud”
What the hell? Napoleon Solo? Well, it was either Match Game . . . or do a film with Harry. Oh, shite . . . say it ain’t so, Solo! The “comeback trail” isn’t paved with Harry Hurwitz films, Mr. Vaughn. Just ask Christopher Lee. . . .
Repeating the semi-documentary cinéma vérité style of 1978’s Auditions, Hurwitz also concocted 1989’s That’s Adequate; a Spinal Tapish tale about a troubled film studio that features an eclectic cast of comedians with Sinbad, Richard Lewis, and Rick Overton alongside a starbound Bruce Willis, Maureen “Marsha Brady” McCormick as a Space Princess, Robert Vaughn as Adolf Hitler (which is “funny” to fringe movie fans, when we remember Vaughn starred in 1978’s The Lucifer Complex), Susan “Laurie Partridge” Dey as a Southern Belle, and Robert Downey, Jr. as Albert Einstein. (Seriously: the film is that crazy.)
Harry’s most significant screen credit was working as one of the five screenwriters on a tale about the 1939 production of The Wizard of Oz, the 1981 Chevy Chase-starring Under the Rainbow for Warner Bros.-Orion Pictures. And we can’t forget Harry dipping his toes in the Blaxploitation pool as a producer with 1983’s The Big Score starring Richard Roundtree and the late John Saxon*.
Harry “Tampa” Hurwitz passed away on September 21, 1995, at the young age of 57 from heart failure while awaiting a heart transplant at the U.C.L.A Medical Center. This Drive-In Friday is for you, Harry. May your films live on for a new generation of video fringe enthusiasts. And they do!
In the ultimate show of respect to Harry’s imagination, on November 13, 2020**, the remake of The Comeback Trail, starring the Oscar acting elite of Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Tommy Lee Jones, was realized by writer-director George Gallo of Bad Boys fame.
Way to go, Harry!
Now, Mr. Gallo . . . about that Safari 3000 remake. . . .
What do you get when you go into business with a noted Las Vegas belly dancer who appeared on TV’s The Beverly Hillbillies . . . then cast Lily Munster, a B-Movie Dracula, and a couple of on-their-way-down ’70s disco stars — and negotiate a deal with MCA Records to release a disco-flavored soundtrack double album to promote the movie?
You get a Harry Tampa box-office boondoggle with John Carradine making back dick jokes. Can Countess Dracula turn her gay singer crush, straight? Do we care?
And to think the Compass International — a studio that had a worldwide hit on their hands with their debut release, John Carpenter’s Halloween — backed this vampire hookers romp. But they also made Roller Boogie, Tourist Trap, Blood Beach, and Hell Night . . . so you know where this disco Dracula romp is heading. Flushing is required.
What do you get when you go into business with United Artists and convince them a Smokey and the Bandit ripoff set on the African tundra will work?
You get a Harry Tampa box-office boondoggle with Christopher Lee frolicking with baboons and the guy who voiced the CP3O knockoff in Luigi Cozzi’s Starcrash. Does the fact that David Carradine is behind the wheel giving us some serious Death Race 2000 and Cannonball vibes save this VHSflotsam? No. And we wished ol’ Dave got off a couple of his dad’s bad dick jokes from Nocturna to compensate for the fact that Stockard Channing’s comedic timing makes the monkeys look good.
Intermission! With the stars of our next feature on tonight’s program! Let the tight pants and smoke wash over you!
What do you get when you contractually flim-flam cinema’s requisite Count, an ex-Runaway, a B-Movie apoc anti-hero, a washed up Tom Hanks TV sidekick, and wardrobe left overs from Glen Larson’s crap-ass Buck Rogers remake for TV?
You get a Harry Tampa ripoff of Bob Clark’s Porky‘s set in a South Beach Miami hotel. Do the adult film actresses working as topless bell hops for Madam Bobbi Flekman from Spinal Tap’s management team seducing Paco Querak from Hands of Steel save it? Do the cut-rate AOR-synth soundtrack ditties from Cherie Currie save it? No. And we wished Christopher Lee stuck to his original plan of torching the joint for the insurance money.
Movie 4: Fleshtone(1994)
What do you get when Harry Tampa answers paid cable’s call for “after hours” erotic thriller programming fodder for the wee-lads who can’t get dates on Saturday nights?
You get the bassist from the bane of our New Wave existence — Spandau Ballet — as a struggling painter twisting down a soft-core film noir spiral in this final, bitter sweet Harry “Tampa” Hurwitz’s effort completed a year before his death.
Truth be told, Martin Kemp, who been in the acting game in the U.K. since the ’70s before finding fame as a MTV favorite, is pretty decent here (he was in Sugar Town with John Doe and Michael Des Barres) as the noir schlub who can’t stay away from dangerous women who enjoy erotic sex games. And it’s nice to see Tim Thomerson (yep, the one and only Jack Deth from Trancers) on top of the marquee in this who-killed-her potboiler.
Do the adult film actresses that Harry likes to cast for that extra titillation-inspiration and lesbian sex scenes helping? Does the fact that the singularly-named Daniella also starred in Anal Maidens 3 and Assy 2 exciting you? How about those exotic Jo-Berg, South Africa locations?
Eh, a little . . . but in reality, this is probably the best of Harry’s films, courtesy of Kemp and Thomerson giving the material some class, and ’80s U.S. TV actress Lise Cutter isn’t so bad, but she’s not leaving the direct-to-video realms any time soon.
Yes! You Tube comes through in the clutch! You can enjoy Harry’s final film on You Tube. You can watch the other films on tonight’s program via the links in those reviews.
* We honored the career of the late John Saxon with our “Exploring: John Saxon” featurette.
**The Comeback Trail premiered at the 43rd Mill Valley Film Festival on October 12, 2020. It was initially scheduled to be theatrically released in the United States on November 13, 2020. However, due to the affects of COVID on theaters, Cloudburst Entertainment has pushed the release date to sometime in 2021.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Moviesand publishes on Medium.
“Barry Mahon is magic. And madness, too.” — Sam Panico, Chief Cook, Bottle Washer, and Master of Vodka Ceremonies
There’s nothing like Russia launching Sputnik, the Earth’s first orbiting artifical satellite, to instill some good ol’ fashioned paranoid propaganda and convoluted espionage conspiracies placed in a melodramatic sci-fi setting to fuel the destructive spread of McCarthyism across America. Sadly, the proceedings are so Ed Woodian in their documentary-styled cheapness and hackneyed dialog that everyone laughed — and probably became “Red Sympathizers” as result.
A male-female team of U.S. secret agents infiltrate the U.S.S.R. as result of British Intelligence (Oy! Is this another “Steele dossier” to bite our arses, mates?) uncovering a Russian plot to bomb America — via intel gathered by Sputnik. The agents fail in their mission to sabotage the attack. They’re killed.
Due to our defective-cum-inaffective counter defense system (Where’s General Jack Berringer?! Flush the bombers!), Manhattan is hit and three million are killed. And since the Russians are cold-hearted war mongers who starve their citizens to fund the military, the peace-loving welfare state of America can’t launch an effective counterstrike.
We all die. Thanks for nothing, Joshua.
Seriously. That’s the movie. And it comes courtesy of . . . Exploit Productions! Seriously. That’s the name of the production company that stitched together this “exploitative” stock footage and voice over extravaganza.
God Bless you, Barry Mahon, we bow to ye. For you gave us The Wonderful Land of Oz and Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, along with a baker’s dozen of shorts with the word “Nude” in the title, and a rockin’ tale about a ghostly pirate haunting acid-rockers Iron Butterfly at Pirate’s World in Dania Beach, Florida, known as Musical Mutiny.
And we’re thankful this public domain clunker of clunkers is only 64 minutes long. But it was 64 minutes too long for actor John McKay, who made this his fourth and final film. His co-star, Monica Davis, pressed on for a few more years, closing out her career with the bootleggers vs. sheriff vs. local gangsters Drive-In romp The Road Hustlers (1968) — which needs to be put on the B&S About Movies shortlist for a review.
And while you’re at it, General Beringer . . . oh, never mind.
For the discriminating, Barry Mahon completest only, this one is on You Tube and preserved it all of its muddy, digital glory courtesy of Mill Creek’s Sci-Fi Invasion box set.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
“Gee, ain’t science great?!” — Bill collector Rocky O’Neil
Forrest Gump had a box of chocolates. For the movie hound staff of B&S About Movies, we have Mill Creek boxes of DVDs where you never know what you’re going to get. Well, you do know what your going to get: pure programming insanity. Who in their right mind would collate the adventures of Paco Querak in Hands of Steel (which is also available on ‘the Creek’s Pure Terror box set) into the same box set as this Columbia Pictures “who done it” starring former silent screen star Mary Astor, who worked her way up to a forever-remembered role as Brigid O’Shaughnessy alongside Bogey in The Maltese Falcon (1941) (de rigueur viewing for any movie hound reading this). Oh, and she won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress that same year for her portrayal of concert pianist Sandra Kovak in (a film that no one remembers) The Great Lie (1941).
Again. Ex-B movie actress-cum-Oscar winner Mary Astor and Joe D’Amoto’s go-to actor George Eastman . . . on the same box set. Pure insanity. Why? Because, outside of the plot backdrop of the “new” technology of television, this isn’t even a sci-fi movie: it’s a Columbia B-movie comedy starring Lyle Talbot, who excelled at . . . B-movie comedies and romantic thrillers (and later co-starred on ’50s TV’s Ozzie & Harriet).
Hey, wait a minute . . . you sure this isn’t a repack of Murdered by Television starring Bela Lugosi? Nope. That was released a year earlier, in 1936. Remember all of those post-WarGames movies in the ’80s obsessed with the “new” technology of home computers? Then all of those “net” movies in the early ’90s? Well, it that was like that in during the Industrial Revolution of the 1930s — with Hollywood obsessed with television as plot fodder.
Anyway, the always dependable Talbot is Fred Dennis, a broke inventor dogged by Rocky O’Neil (Nat Pendleton), a kind-hearted, mobster-backed bill collector. Hey, gang! Fred’s finally done it: his TV camera and TV monitor (a television set) works! His trusted romantic sidekick is Astor’s Barbara “Bobby” Blake (well, the “hot babe with a guy’s name” screenwriting trope had to start somewhere), blessed with a knack for advertising and promotion; she’s going sell Fred’s invention and they’ll be rich. Corporate intrigue — as we oft say around here — ensues, as gangsters, competing scientists, and electronics companies vie for the invention, with Talbot, Astor, and Pendleton — along with everyone’s favorite Lucille Ball clone, Joyce Compton (in that always annoying pillbox hat) — keeping one step ahead of the lighthearted mayhem.
The twist to this oldie: it’s actually pretty good. And you can watch it on You Tube.
The script by Lee Loeb and Harold Buchman (whose resumes stretch from the early ’30s into the mid-70s across TV and film) is well-written from a technological standpoint (there’s no slapstick-crazy Doc Browns pushing junk science flux capacitors) and the acting isn’t that bad. If you’re a Nat Pendleton and Joyce Compton completest — and need a fix of Bela — you can catch them together in the MacGuffin-strewn noir Scared to Death (1947), which, as it turns out, Mill Creek featured on their Pure Terror box set (recapped here). (Oh, and if you’re interested: we covered all of the films in their Chilling Classics set; recapped here.)
What would we do without Mill Creek box sets supplying us with movies? I don’t even want to think of a Mill Creekless world. Do you? But still . . . this movie encased in a box with artwork featuring a futuristic city under destruction by space ships . . . and Dorothy Statten’s name . . . is pure insanity. And we love it.
Now, let me get to work on my new Lifetime-oriented screenplay: Trapped by Phone App.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
You know how we root for the self-made filmmaker at B&S About Movies, with backyard guys like Andy Milligan and Don Dohler. (Without their 16-to-35mm drive-in romps, there’d be no SOV ’80s*, so I always lump them into that brick and mortar store era, especially when the first time most seen Dohler’s work — or Milligan’s for that matter — was on home video.) So while stuffy Leonard Maltin-styled critics catalog their filmpedia scoffs at Dohler’s “gripping sci-fi terror from beyond,” we, the staff of B&S About Movies appreciate Dohler’s debut film for what it is: a fun retro-romp from the ’50s “Golden Age of Horror.”
Considering Dohler began as an underground magazine publisher in the early ’60s at the age of 15 with the Mad Magazine-inspired WILD and the mid-60s filmmaking magazine Cinemagic (that was bought out by Starlog in 1979), his transitioning into producing his own films was a logical, natural progression.
Upon first watching the opening scene of two people in car in a remote, rural area being attacked by an alien creature, it’s obvious George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead is a sign post in Dohler’s creation. However, with only $3,500 to spend, Dohler couldn’t afford to shoot in graveyards and create zombie hoards: so he gave us a tale inspired by ’50s sci-fi films, such as The Thing from Another World.
If you’ve seen — or read our previous reviews for Dohler’s third and fourth films (the zombie-slasher hybrid Fiend from 1980 was his second) — Nightbeast and The Galaxy Invader, you know that an insect-esque monster is on the loose in “Perry Hill” (natch). The mayhem is triggered when a (character expositional) spaceship containing specimens for an intergalactic zoo crashes on Earth and lets loose its galactic menagerie: an Inferbyce (the aforementioned insect alien), a Zagatile (a giant furry beast with funky legs) and a Lemmoid (a ghostly like lizard that sucks energy from other creatures).
Baltimore’s’ favorite alien is back in the 2001 sequel.
And I ask you: Did Speilberg watch this? I wonder, because we have a local sheriff besieged by the backwood (in lieu of sandy Amity Island) town mayor to find what’s causing the killings (not a shark) and to “keep a lid on it” because it’ll jeopardize the nearby construction of a multimillion-dollar amusement park that’ll boost the local economy.
The reference to Romero’s zombie classic — and our calling out a minor influence of Jack H. Harris’s Equinox — isn’t a critical misnomer (especially when you watch the ending and recall Duane Jones’s sad fate in Romero’s tale). While this Dohler debut received a widespread theatrical released in the post-Alien/Star Wars/Close Encounters of the Third Kind marketplace in May 1978, The Alien Factor was completed in 1972 — and had a slight, regional drive-in release around the Baltimore area in 1976.
For a film shot for under $4,000 bucks with local talent, a limited crew, backyard without-permit locales, and admittedly pretty decent process shots and practical in-camera effect, this — as with any Dohler flick — is worth the watch. You can watch The Alien Factor on You Tube and enjoy it as part of the Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion Box Set.
And did you know there’s a rock ‘n’ roll connection to this Dohler bit o’ nostalgia? Yep! Be sure to check out Sam’s take as he reviewed the film for the 24th “At the Gig” day of the 2020 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge.
* Click through to our SOV tag to populate our ever-growing list of shot-on-video movies.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Movies.
“Point taken. But this was shot in Spain with native actors, so I doubt there’s any connection to an American sitcom.”
“Well, in Season 8: Episode 21: “The Muffin Tops” Newman does a parody of Harvey Keitel’s The Cleaner from Pulp Fiction, as he helps Elaine get rid of the errant muffin tops from the bakery she opened.
“Review the damn movie, R.D.”
When the home video boom hit in the ’80, West Hollywood-based Chicago Teleproductions decided to get out of the TV business and into the film business as Cine Tel Films, which still exists to this day.
One of their first acquisitions was this Spain-produced sci-fi adventure that owes it’s life more to Superman ’78 (with dashes of Close Encounters of the Third Kind and a soupçon E.T.) than Star Wars, as was the case with most of the ’80’s star junk that was coming out of Italy and Spain, such as the Richard “Jaws” Keil and Barbara Bach-starring The Humanoid and Luigi Cozzi’s Star Crash. And as with those two precursors, Star Knight (aka El caballero del dragón, aka The Knight of the Dragon), thanks to Cine Tel Films, ended up at my local duplex in 1986, back in the days when you’d get a new Euro-space oddity once a week.
Of course, not all of those Star Wars droppings starred Harvey Keitel (Saturn 3) and Klaus Kinksi (Creature). And before there was an Eric Roberts, there was a Fernando Rey, who, across his 150-plus credits, went from international acclaim through his ’60s works with surrealist director Luis Buñuel (Simon of the Desert) and domestic stardom with William Friedkin’s The French Connection — to this.
And what is it? Well, it’s a Lois Lane loves Superman romance with a love-struck Lex Luthor.
Keitel is Klever, the kingdom’s top knight who aspires for full knighthood; Kinski is Boetius, the faithful alchemist who aspires for the secrets to turn lead into gold; and Rey is the king’s nefarious court priest, who believes Alba is possessed by the Devil (and probably wants to “Mark of the Devil” it out of her).
Of course, Kinski’s off his usual nut, drawing incantation-scawled pentagrams on the floor and “praying for an angel to come” to bestow him the secrets to turn lead into gold. And his prayer is answered — in the form of an an “adult”-starring film vehicle for Spanish musician and ex-teen idol Miguel Bosé (a huge star throughout Italy, Spain, Southern Europe and Latin America) as “The Star Knight,” aka, the speechless IX.
Of course, as is the case with all ancient astronauts of the Erich von Daniken variety, the Ezekielian space ship is a “dragon from the sky” that lives in the lake and whisked away Princess Alba, along with an assortment of goats and chickens, because, well XI’s on a long, lone mission to catalog the galaxy’s flora and fauna. And the citizen’s refuse to pay their taxes until the “dragon” is slain. And Keitel’s “straight out of Brooklyn” knight is dispatched to kill the dragon, restore order, and collect those taxes.
But since XI has been without female companionship for some time, he finds an unspoken love with Alba. So Keitel and Rey plot to “kill the devil” so Keitel can win back Alba’s heart. Kinski, meanwhile, is the good guy this time (?), who protects XI and assures love conquers all.
Unlike the utterly inept (but loved) Escape from Galaxy 3, the other Ezekielian ancient astronaut romp on this Mill Creek set, Star Knight has excellent production values in its sets and costuming (especially XI’s Kryptonian spaceship interiors and space suit) and the acting from the mostly Spanish they’re-somebody-over-there-and-nobody-to-us-here-to-us-yanks cast is above par.
You have two choices to watch Star Knight on You Tube HERE and HERE. Of course, you can also own it as part of the Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion Box Set. And yes . . . this is so awesome, that Sam stepped in with a second take because, well, you just can’t talk about a Klaus Kinski film, once. Especially with Harvey Keitel as a co-star.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
From Terminal City Ricochet with Jello Biafra to Beverly Hills, 90210 with Luke Perry? From the science fiction/horror musical Big Meat Eater featuring the soft-shoe of “Baghdad Boogie” to the historical drama Samuel Lount? Drag racing through the eyes of David Cronenberg? Children’s programming?
Welcome to the eclectic career of Phil Savath.
Phil Savath, born December 28, 1946, was an American-born Canadian film and television writer and producer. He was most noted as a two-time Genie Award nominee for Best Screenplay, with nominations for Original Screenplay at the 4th Genie Awards in 1983 for Big Meat Eater and Adapted Screenplay at the 10th Genie Awards in 1989 for The Outside Chance of Maximilian Glick. (The Genies are the Academy of Canadian Cinema and Television’s equivalent of the Oscars.)
Savath started his career in television in the late ‘70s as the co-creator and star of the CBC Television children’s comedy series Homemade TV and Range Ryder and the Calgary Kid, and then made his theatrical debut with David Cronenberg’s Fast Company.
Fans of FOX-TV’s Beverly Hills, 90210 know him for the dozen episodes he wrote for that post-Brat Back series, as well as the oft-aired HBO favorite, The Outside Chance of Maximilian Glick, which was turned into a short-lived TV series, Max Glick. He also wrote the Canadian hockey drama Net Worth (1995) and developed the Canadian TV series African Skies (1992) about a bi-racial teen friendship in post-Apartheid South Africa. As a producer, before his death in 2004, he produced the late ‘90s series These Arms of Mine, along with the TV Movies White Lies, Little Criminals, and Liar, Liar: Between Father and Daughter.
The influence of this Phil Savath-penned script on the career of David Cronenberg can’t be denied.
The first of Cronenberg’s feature films for which Cronenberg did not originate the screenplay, he was hired by the producers to direct. It was on Fast Company that Cronenberg developed long-time working relationships with cinematographer Mark Irwin, art director Carol Spier, sound editor Bryan Day, and film editor Ronald Sanders — each worked on Cronenberg’s later films. Actor Nicholas Campbell, who plays William Smith’s young protégé, also went on to appear in Cronenberg’s The Brood, The Dead Zone, and Naked Lunch. Sadly, Fast Company also serves as final release for Claudia Jennings (‘Gator Bait), who died in a car wreck several months after this drag racing drama’s release.
Take one part Ed Wood’s Plan Nine from Outer Space, one part Paul Bartel’s Eating Raoul, and one part Richard O’Brien’s The Rocky Horror Picture Show and vigorously shake in your “intentionally bad cult films” tumbler, and serve: We’ve got a mad butcher, a murdered mayor, and aliens who reanimate the mayor to assist in the harvesting of a rare, radioactive fuel deposit beneath the butcher shop. Oh, and there’s song and dance numbers (which you can enjoy during our intermission).
And those Great White Northeners “got it,” since Phil Savath and his co-writers Laurence Keane and Chris Windsor received Canada’s Oscar equivalent — a Genie Awards’ nod — for Best Original Screenplay in 1983. While Windsor never made another film, Keane and Savath continued onward and upward . . . and what could Phil possibly write as a follow-up feature? It’s not what you’d think.
Intermission! Courtesy of the Phil Savath-penned “Baghdad Boogie.”
Back to the show!
Movie 3: Samuel Lount (1985)
The man who gave us Big Meat Eater . . . wrote this? He did.
A historical drama set during the Upper Canada Rebellion of 1837, the film stars very familiar Canadian TV and film character actor R. H. Thomson (I remember him from the cable-played Escape from Iran: The Canadian Caper and The Terry Fox Story, as well as lots of American TV series) as Samuel Lount, an organizer of the rebellion who was ultimately convicted of treason and executed in 1838.
Receiving a limited theatrical run before debuting on Canadian television, it made its U.S debut on HBO and Showtime. While not winning any awards, it received five 7th Genie Awards’ nods for Best Actor, Best Cinematography, Best Costuming, Best Editing, and Best Sound Editing.
Yes, this powerful, fact-based drama is — in fact — from the pen of the man who gave us a film backed by a soundtrack performed by Alternative Tentancles bands. Yes, that’s right. Phil Savath worked with Jello Biafra. But Phil wrote “Baghdad Boogie” and incorporated “Heat Seeking Missile,” a song that would give Spinal Tap pause, into a movie — so what’s really shocking you at this point?
So, Phil did a pretty good job with the sci-fi horror parody Big Meat Eater, so he took a crack at parodying the post-apoc sci-fi craze of the ’80s with this dystopian-political intrique romp. It’s the story of a media entrepreneur who weasels his way into the mayorship of Terminal City and manipulates the populace through television, with their ensuing addictions to consumerism lining his pockets.
Oh, and the good mayor’s Chief Social Peace Enforcement Officer? Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys.
Yeah, it’s a must watch.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes for B&S About Movies.
From the Editor’s Desk: Severin Films strikes again as they pull another lost and forgotten Mill Creeker out of obscurity. On On April 25th, 2023, Severin releases the Worldwide Blu-ray premiere of Juan Piquer Simón’s Extra Terrestrial Visitors. The 4K restoration includes the U.S. debut of a long-form documentary on Simón’s career. You can learn more about the release at Severin.
As an added bonus: Also released on the same day is a 4K restoration Blu-ray of Antonio Margheriti’s Alien rip, Alien from the Abyss. You can learn more about the release at Severin.
Granted, there are not as many E.T, the Extra-Terrestrial rips as there are Alien and Star Wars rips (here) . . . but I still think (Sam?) we can squeeze an “E.T. Rip-Offs Week” or, at the very least, an “E.T Top Ten Rips” list, you know, like our two “Alien Rip-Offs” list (here and here). Speaking of which . . . is that a monkey’s face on the cover? Is this ripping off Roland Emmerich’s Making Contact, which itself is an E.T. rip, that had a possessed toy monkey in its frames (if I am remembering my movies correctly)?
Warning. It ain’t no friggin’ money. What is it?
Let’s pop in that Mill Creek disc and find out!
If you’ve hung out at B&S About Movies for any period of time, you know that Juan Piquer Simón, aka J.P Simon (but he’s Jack Grey, here; he hated the end product), is a pretty big deal around here, courtesy of his two huge, Drive-In and duplex “hits,” later to become VHS-rental horror de rigueur: Pieces (1982) and Slugs (1988). Our love runs so deep that Bill Van Ryn and Sam Panico paired up Slugs with Squirm for a “Drive-In Asylum Double Feature Night.” (Yes, we know Simón did an Alien rip — well, The Abyss rip, that itself is an Alien rip, aka The Rift (1990) — that took a while; we finally did it!)
But sandwiched between his Carpenter-slasher ’80s rip and his big bug movie, he made . . . well, it looks like Los nuevos extraterrestres, aka The New Aliens, started out as an Alien rip-off about an asteroid and a freak lightning storm depositing a dozen alien eggs in the woods, you know, like a Luigi Cozzi movie (Contamination). Then some guy by the name of Steven Spielberg went and made a movie about a kid and his lost alien friend. And you know how film producers are. You’re passé, Ridley Scott. Hello, Mr. Spielberg.
When art departments give up. . . .
At first, this looks like a Godfrey Ho cut-and-paste job of three unfinished films:
First, we have a trio of bumbling wild life poachers scaling trees for rare eggs in the woods, so it seems we’re getting another Don Dohler alien-in-the-woods cheapfest, ala Galaxy Invader or Night Beast.
But wait . . . we have a Z-grade, new wave band recording in the studio and it’s not working out . . . time to hop into the RV and head out to a remote cabin to cut new tunes . . . and become alien hors d’oeuvre, ala Carpenter with a Dohler-alien pinch-slashing for Jason Vorhees.
But wait . . . then there’s Tommy: an annoying Spanish kid (in a bad dub, natch; this was a French-Spain co-production with thespians from both countries mixing it up) in a Spielbergian-Americanized, product-placement bedroom nightmare (Boston Red Sox and Bruins pennants) with a zoo menagerie in his room (a rabbit, gerbil, hamster, kitten), stuck in a remote cabin with his grumpy uncle and domineering aunt. And all the poor kid wants is a friend to play jigsaw puzzles and Simon — again — it’s all about the product placement. (And holy set design déjà vu, Batman: Is that the same bedroom Timmy had in Pieces? Yep.)
So, the poachers, who want rare eggs, smash the alien eggs (?) . . . and let slip the Sid and Marty Kroft alien of war. Seriously. Remember the monkey crack? Well, it ain’t no friggin’ monkey: it’s an aardvark-bear hybrid that, the first thing I thought of was Snork from the ’70s American, daytime TV series The Banana Splits. (Where’s Sigmund and the Rest of the Sea Monsters?) And Snork is on the warpath. And is it the mom? Or brother? Or sister? No matter: Sigmund wants its child/sibling back.
Meanwhile, back at the cabin: Tommy found the last egg and hatched a new friend: Trumpy. No, it’s not a political statement by the filmmakers: it’s because of the aliens trunk. And that baby alien grows into a teen alien overnight, as it sucks up a collection of Kellogg’s cereals and Planters Peanuts (and, I think a jar of Jiff). Again, product placement.
Meanwhile, in the back in the woods: Snork, aka Big Trumpy, killed one of the new wavers. And the band is on the run (sorry, Mr. McCartney) to . . . the cabin where Tommy lives. Oh, and did we mention Tommy’s uncle is one of the poachers? And nice Trumpy, who, of course, has mad ESP skills and makes clothes and shoes from the closet put on a floor show, with musical accompaniment courtesy of Milton Bradley’s Simon, suffers from a case mistaken identity — as a murderer — that threatens the newly formed friendship of Tommy and Trumpy. And Trumpy doesn’t want to go. But Tommy leaves Trumpy — who parents/siblings are all dead, thanks to the stupid Earthlings — in the woods: alone.
It’s actually a sad ending. Here’s a kids that loves animals and takes care of pets. And he abandons the best pet ever — in the woods. Wait. It’s not sad. It’s sick. What the frack, Juan? What’s the “statement” made here? When something becomes a pain-in-the-ass, you dump it? Don’t give friends the benefit of the doubt?
As if this Alien-E.T. clone wasn’t enough of a mess: Film Ventures International also stuck this on the VHS shelves as Pod People and cut in footage from Dohler’s Galaxy Invader (never saw that version myself). In some quarters, FVI said, “the hell with it” and marketed it as a sequel: E.T. – The Second Coming.
You can watch Extra Terrestrial Visitors on You Tube or own it as part of the Mill Creek Box Set.
Editor’s Desk, May 2023: Once again . . . we were simply crossing off another Mill Creeker from another Mill Creek box set, just because we love Mill Creek. And as with another lost, fellow Mill Creeker, UFO: Target Earth, as well as with the equally VHS-forgotten Delirium and Calamity of Snakes, Top Line is receiving its own hard-media restoration, this time from the folks at Cauldron Films coming in August 2023 — intel on that release, to follow.
So, yeah, here’s what we had to say back in November 2020 during our annual Mill Creek box set unpacking extravaganza.
We can blame this Italian hodgepodge waste bucket of influences — shot and theatrically released under the title of Alien Terminator, becoming Top Line for video — on George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for giving us their joint jungle-sci-fi Indiana Jones adventures. Oh, and James Cameron for The Terminator. And once you toss in a dash of John Carpenter’s They Live, a soupçon Ron Howard’s Cocoon, and a pinch of Robert Zemeckis’s Romancing the Stone, you’ll know why we don’t revere the resume of Ted Archer, aka Nello Rossati, with the same vigor we give his fellow Italians Lewis Coates, aka Luigi Cozzi, and Al Bradley, aka Alfonso Brescia, in the digitized pages of B&S About Movies.
Warning: Scene on the VHS sleeve may vary from the actual movie.
I mean, you know how gaga for giallo and poliziotteschi genre films we are in this neck of the Allegheny wilds . . . and we never reviewed La gatta in calore, aka The Cat in Heat (1972; the worst of the Argento imitators), and I figli non si toccano!, aka Don’t Touch the Children (1978; the clunkiest of the Death Wish–Magnum Force clones). So what does that tell you?
It tells you that this isn’t a tribute to the science fiction B-movies of the 1950s — like the Lucas-Spielbergian film it’s thieving: it tells you this is an insult to the science fiction B-movies of the 1950s it is thieving. For it is a celluloid larceny that would give Glen “Larceny” Larson pause.
Just because we can. And the fact that Sergio Martino can’t sue us because Hands of Steelwas, itself, a ripoff.
It tells you that not even the very cool Franco Nero (of the superb giallo The Fifth Chord and equally cool spaghetti western Keoma) and the always reliable George Kennedy (who was obviously on hard times, considering he did this and the possessed cat-on-a-boat romp Uninvitedin the same year) can’t save this jungle-sci-fi adventure. It tells you that not even the plastic cyborgs, the rubbery-gooey extraterrestrials, and awfully-dubbed Nazis can save it. (Okay, we’ll give Rossati-Archer bonus points for the somewhat decent cyborg and the alien make-ups. Ah, but he loses them for dubbing George Kennedy with one of the worst faux-German accents, aka accidents, in cinematic history.)
What balls! The story comes comes back at ya’ a third time in 1989’s Cy-Warrior starring Henry Silva in place of Franco Nero, who was in place of John Saxonback in 1986 with Hands of Steel.
And what is a “top line” and what does a “top line” have to do with the movie? (Damned if I know. My attention span was FUBAR’d by the proceedings and I was too lazy to rewind to find out.) Why ditch the more exploitative Alien Terminator? Best guess: Blame it on the always-changing-their-minds producers: “We want Alien . . . wait, we want The Terminator . . . wait, turn the lead into an Indian Jones-type character. And dupe renters into thinking they’re getting a romantic, Bogey and Becall adventure, so ditch the aliens and cyborgs. Hey, can we have him runaround barefoot like Bruce Willis?
Argh!!!!
Franco Nero plays Angelo: a washed-up writer living in Cartagena, Colombia, whose search for conquistador gold leads him to a mountain cave where he uncovers a 15th century Spanish galleon inside the hull of a UFO. (Okay, it’s not a bad set, actually; but the VHS-to-digital prints of the film that circulate are so muddy, the “majesty,” if any, is lost.) Yes. You heard me right: a galleon inside a UFO, inside a cave, behind fake rock “door,” inside mountain, in the middle of the Colombian jungle.
And you thought Ruggero Deodato’s Raiders of Atlantis was an “epic adventure beyond that rivals Rambo* and Mad Max**.” Think again. And you thought Michele Massimo Tarantini bait-and-switched you with the no-actual-dinosaurs-appear-in-this-movie Massacre in Dinosaur Valley. That’s right. Think again — provided this movie didn’t already compromise your cerebral cortex.
Yep. Massacre Ninja is another Godfrey “Oh, no” Ho rip off joint — comes complete with typo.
So how did Angie-boy end up here? Cue the bitchy ex-wife-who’s-also-my-publisher-boss trope (Octopussy-era bond girl Mary Stavin, who didn’t fare any better in the inept radio-slasher Open House). Then cue the Aztec dagger Angie discovers that he can sell and save his ass. And cue the bodies that start dropping like flies because Angie found the dagger. (Or was it the cave: don’t care.) And George Kennedy as the troped (blink-and-miss), cackling Nazi antiques dealer after him because of the dagger. And the KGB that are after the Nazis, who are after Angie, because they want the dagger. And the aliens . . . who send in a cyborg (Rodrigo Obregon of a bunch of Andy Sidaris movies?!) adorned with curly hair, an unbuttoned David Hasselhoff red shirt, and a hunk of plastic stuck on his face that comes complete with a whirring eyeball).
Watch out for the bull!!!
Oh, and speaking of James Bond: Nero hooks up with his own Kate Capshaw in Deborah Barrymore, aka Deborah Moore, aka Roger Moore’s daughter (who actually made it into the Oscar-winning Chaplin . . . but also did Warriors of the Apocalypse for Manila-flick purveyor Bobby A. Suarez of They Call Her . . . Cleopatra Wong fame). Oh, and how deep is the rip-offness of it all: Nero looses his shoes John McClane-style in the jungle as he runs from the bad guys so, you know, you think that you’re watching a Die Hard clone because the Romancing the Stone cover gag didn’t work.
Oh, how did Franco Nero get into this mess?
Never mind. This friggin’ mess is one of those analog gems that makes us bow before the VHS-to-digital altars of Mill Creek Entertainment. So take off your shoes, strap on a popcorn bag, and watch this one on You Tube. Ah, the caveat: The print is pretty washed out and I have a feeling the Mill Creek version may not be much better. But that’s how it goes in the wilds of the lawless, analog public domains. For not every movie deserves a 4K Blu restoration . . . but it deserves to be packed amid 50 other lost water-bobbers to enjoy.
Doh!
Flash forward to August 2023 . . . as Cauldron Films restores and reissues Top Line as part of their new three-Blu-ray reissues bundle with the fellow Italian ditties Off Balance and The Last Match.
This new version of Top Line — a 2k restoration from the orginal negative — is limited to 1500 copies. Extras include interviews with actor Franco Nero and filmmaker Eugenio Ercolani, a featurette on the alien theories of the film by parapolitics researcher Robert Skvarla, an audio commentary by film historian Eric Zaldivar, as well as audio interviews from cast members Deborah Moore and Robert Redcross, and insights on Italian cult films with Italian acting warehorses Brett Halsey and Richard Harrison (Three Men on Fire). There’s also a booklet, a double-sided poster, and a high quality slipcase with artwork by Ghanaian artist Farika — yes, the one behind those crazy-ass overseas VHS tapes we love — courtesy of Deadly Prey Gallery. If you’re not familiar with the art form: this post from Not So Innocents Abroad will get you started.
Yep! We reviewed all three films from the Calderon reissue to get you up to speed.
Spaghetti Western Alert: Franco Nero reteamed with director Nello Rossati in the 1986 “comeback” Western, the critical and commercial bomb Django Strikes Again. We reviewed that, and about two-dozen others (including Nero’s 1966 turn in Django), during our “Spaghetti Westerns Week” that ran from Sunday, August 16, to Saturday, August 22.
Movie Theme Drink Alert: Hey, Sam! I can mix drinks based on movies, too! I give you the Top Line Terminator:
1 ounce coconut rum
1 ounce vodka
1/2 ounce blue curacao
1/2 cup pineapple juice
The blue curacao, when mixed with the other liquids, will turn green — like an alien. Enjoy!
Such a bargain for those who can’t drop the coin on the Cauldron reissue.
Before his best known, first studio-backed film, The Gate, and its sequel, The Gate 2: The Trespassers . . . long before he passed up the chance to direct A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master . . . before I, Madman . . . long before he started churning out the mockbuster hoards of Ice Spiders, Mega Snake, and Destruction: Los Angeles for the SyFy Channel . . . before he got into the Hallmark Christmas movie business alongside our equally beloved Fred Ray Olen and David DeCoteau, Hungarian-born Tibor Takács shot this failed Canadian TV series pilot programmer in 1978. Courtesy of the Star Wars-infused sci-fi market, it was shook loose from the analog dustbins onto home video shelves in 1982. Criminally allowed to fall into the public domain, this well-written and produced production (on a budget, natch) turned up as a track selection (aka The Tomorrow Man) on numerous bargain-basement DVD compilations.
Primarily known as a talent manager, studio producer and engineer, this CBC telefilm-pilot was Takács’s first professional feature film project, after his self-produced feature film debut, Metal Messiah (1978), a long-form rock opera/video which starred two bands from his stable: Kickback and the Cardboard Brains. (We’ve wanted to review Metal Messiah since forever, but have been unable to locate a copy. And yes, we’ve had I, Madman (1989; with Jenny Wright!) on our shortlist of must-reviews since our 2017 review of The Gate. We’ll get to it, one day . . . what the hell . . . courtesy of our annual October 2020 “Slasher Month,” Sam reviewed it, finally!
As you read this review, please take into consideration my crazed fandom for Patrick McGoohan’s surreal psychological drama The Prisoner, concerned with the imprisonment of an intelligence agent, of which this Orwellian-influenced tale reminds — only with the resourceful, low-budget production designs of PBS-TV’s 1980 production of Ursula K. Le Guin’s 1971 novel A Lathe of Heaven. (Again, take into consideration of my fandom of that PBS adaptation igniting my sense of nostalgia for Takács’s dystopian tale.) And speaking of PBS-TV, one will also have a sense of Tom Baker-era Dr. Who déjà vu in the production designs (especially in the prison’s Cylon/Cybermen-styled sentries) and its cast of Shakespearian-skilled thespians.
Since Takács knows we are, at the very least, familiar with the dystopian tales of Aldous Huxley with Brave New World and more importantly, George Orwell’s 1984, 984: Prisoner of the Future dispenses with long-winded set ups in establishing how The Movement came into power and gets right into it: how affluent businessman Tom Weston became “984” by way of his entries in a ratty diary from the walls of his prison cell, which triggers a series of flashbacks to the mind games played by Warden Dr. Fontaine (the steely-excellent Don Francks (his work dates back to ’60s TV’s The Man From Uncle), his interrogator.
Don’t let the fact that this Canadian TV tale fell into, it seems, public domain territory due to a lack of legal due diligence on the part of the CBC, deter you from watching. This is a quality work by Tibor Takács that rises above the usual public domain or still legal, yet forgotten, odds ‘n’ sods from the VHS-era finding a new, digital home on these DVD box sets that brings the ol’ ’80s video store shelves to the abode.
You can watch 984: Prisoner of the Future on You Tube or own it as part of the “Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion Box Set.” You Tube also offers the trailer. Be sure to join us as we examine Tibor’s career and films with our “Drive-In Friday” featurette.
Our thanks to the digital librarians of Wikipedia for referencing this review as part of the “List of Dystopian Films” page.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
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