FUCKED UP FUTURES PART 2: Warriors of the Wasteland (1984)

After 1990: The Bronx Warriors, director Enzo G. Castellari created this film, originally entitled The New Barbarians. The title change reflects the name New Line Cinema would use when they released the film in the United States. This movie checks off nearly every box when it comes to what it'll take to get me to love a… Continue reading FUCKED UP FUTURES PART 2: Warriors of the Wasteland (1984)

CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

At one point in this movie, Santa Claus gets shoved down by Billy, our hero, and he yells, "What the hell is wrong with that kid?" And I yelled in defense, "Santa raped his mom, you fucking asshole!" Merry Christmas, everyone, it's time to descend into the absolute nadir of scummy movies and watch something… Continue reading CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Gremlins (1984)

If I haven't mentioned it before, I love Joe Dante's films. They're all unique and all somehow straddle the line between being mainstream pieces of cinema and anarchic bites against the very hand that feeds them. Gremlins is a great example. On the surface, it's a cute film for the kids, complete with a cute… Continue reading CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Gremlins (1984)

CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

A guy in a Santa suit has sex with a woman in a filthy alley before they're both killed by a man in a grinning see-through mask. Another Santa has his head impaled by a spear while his daughter watches. And yet another has his face grilled while roasted chestnuts on an open fire. Scotland Yard… Continue reading CHRISTMAS CINEMA: Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

FULCI WEEK: Murder Rock (1984)

Lucio Fulci wanted to make a giallo. But then Flashdance happened and the producers knew Keith Emerson (yes, the Keith Emerson from Emerson Lake and Palmer) and the result was...Murder Rock! Or Murder-Rock: Dancing Death! Or Slashdance! Or The Demon Is Loose! We start at the Arts for the Living Center in New York, where Candice (Olga Karlatos, the… Continue reading FULCI WEEK: Murder Rock (1984)

‘Revenge of the Nerds’ is a Rape Liturgy

I normally write for blog called Grindhouse theology, which deals almost exclusively with 'the intersection of Christian faith and horror Cinema'. On paper, Revenge of the Nerds is a comedy, which means I'm outside my comfort zone. It is a comedy, I guess, maybe in the Twilight Zone, or some other dystopian nightmare world where affluent young men… Continue reading ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ is a Rape Liturgy

NO FALSE METAL MOVIES WEEK: Rocktober Blood (1984)

I could have been the best, I could have had it made. Because of you and all the rest I wound up in a grave. In my dying day, revenge I swore I'd take. Now your time is running out! Let's kill for killing's sake! 1984's Rocktober Blood starts with Billy "Eye" Harper singing "I'm Back" while… Continue reading NO FALSE METAL MOVIES WEEK: Rocktober Blood (1984)

The Dungeonmaster (1984)

Let's face it. I love portmanteau movies. From Tales from the Crypt to Asylum, The House that Dripped Blood and The Monster Club, a good part of our DVD collection is devoted to these films (mostly of the Amicus variety). 1984' The Dungeonmaster attempts to be both a narrative and portmanteau all at the same time -- to sometimes uneven results.… Continue reading The Dungeonmaster (1984)