Night Patrol (1984)

If you learn anything today, know that Linda Blair and Murray Langston, AKA The Unknown Comic, made two movies together: the romantic comedy Up Your Alley and this film, which takes Police Academy to an even filthier and more ridiculous level. Seriously: there's no way this movie could have been made in 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuRn8_Jpais Jackie Kong directed… Continue reading Night Patrol (1984)

They’re Playing with Fire (1984)

Hikmet Avedis was the director of 1974's The Teacher. Howard Avedis is the director of this film (as well as Mortuary). They're similar films. And the same person. So there you go. This movie is all about Jay (Eric Brown, Private Lessons), who gets caught up in a film noir-like murder mystery. And see, you thought that this… Continue reading They’re Playing with Fire (1984)

The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

According to David Carradine's book Spirit of Shaolin, he called out Roger Corman before shooting began on this film, telling him that this was just a ripoff of Akira Kurosawa's 1961 samurai epic Yojimbo. Corman replied, "Yes, it is rather like Yojimbo." Carradine then said, "It's not like Yojimbo. It is Yojimbo." That's when the Corman… Continue reading The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

Blood Theater (1984)

If you're looking for unique deaths, Blood Theater has them. Fried by a popcorn machine, electrocuted by a film projector, smoke inhalation from burning film and various stabbings ensure that the Beverly Warner Theater -- where Xanadu was filmed -- is awash in the blood. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCiZJWRgTQ8 The only good reason to watch this one is Mary Woronov, who plays Miss Blackwell, who… Continue reading Blood Theater (1984)

J’ai rencontré le Père Noël (1984)

Simon isn't going to have a good Christmas. He's bullied by his fellow classmates and the janitor, who throws spackle at his face. Oh yeah -- his parents have also been kidnapped in Africa and the French government isn't going to negotiate with the people who did the deed. Yep, it's enough to make you take your friend Élodie and sneak… Continue reading J’ai rencontré le Père Noël (1984)