MILL CREEK DVD RELEASE: Through the Decades: 1980s Collection: The New Kids (1985)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie originally appeared on the site on December 12, 2018 when Mill Creek released it as part of their retro VHS box line. 

Have you ever said to yourself, “I’d like to watch a super young James Spader with weird looking bleach blonde hair menace a super young looking Lori Loughlin to the point that I worry for her safety?” If so, you’re a maniac. But hey, you’re on our site, so we have to be nice and tell you that this movie exists. It’s Sean Cunningham’s (Friday the 13th) 1985 opus, The New Kids.

No offense to our friends from Horror and Sons, but Florida is the most frightening state in the nation. Just ask Abby (Loughlin, years before she became Aunt Becky or a convicted felon) and Loren McWilliams (Shannon Presby, who quit acting soon after this movie and became a lawyer). Their parents (Tom Atkins is their military hero dad!) have been killed in an accident and they’ve moved to Glenby, a small town that seems way more like hell — and not the happiest place — on Earth. Their Uncle Charlie (Eddie Jones, C.H.U.D.Q the Winged Serpent and Johnathan Kent on TV’s Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) and Aunt Fay (who did American voices for Gamera the Invincible and Godzilla vs. Hedorah) take them in, getting them to help them operate a gas station and amusement park, which is based on Santa Claus. If you’re willing to accept this entire paragraph and still say, “I’d watch that movie,” congratulations. You’re as goofy as me.

The kids do pretty well in their new life, with Loren instantly hitting it off with Karen, the vivacious daughter of the local sheriff. And Abby starts seeing Mark, who is played by Eric Stoltz, who also made Mask and lasted five weeks as Marty McFly in Back to the Future the same year that this movie was made.

What gives us the dramatic reason for watching this movie? Eddie Dutra (Spader) and his gang suddenly intrude and remind us that Flordia may be the home of Disney, but it’s also the nexus for American death metal. These boys just randomly do coke and make bets as to who will have nonconsensual sex with Abby first.

Dutra and his gang gradually grow more and more vicious, keying cars and even throwing Abby’s beloved pet rabbit’s bloody corpse at her while she attempts to take a shower — a scene that reminds you that Cunningham may be working for a major studio here, but he has roots in exploitation.

Finally, there’s a showdown at the amusement park that the kids call home, with Dutra covering Abby in lighter fluid and throwing lit matches at her (!) while his gang holds her down and fights over who gets to molest her.

It all ends with the bad guys attacked by dogs, thrown from the Ferris wheel, electrocuted and beheaded by bumper cars, and finally, Dutra lit ablaze by a gas pump that he has turned into a flamethrower. No, I don’t think that gas pumps work that way, either.

Becca woke up and came downstairs to watch some of my late night viewing of The New Kids and said, “This is one of those movies where they just show you stuff that happens to people and it’s all horrible. In fact, this movie is horrible. Who would even like this kind of movie?”

This is when my wife learned that I’m the kind of person who would like this kind of movie, which confirmed my theory: no one can be that good at being a lunatic without being a lunatic. There’s some dark stuff in Spader’s closet, right? Well, according to this Movie Web article, every year Spader and Stoltz get together to watch The New Kids together.

The Mill Creek Through the Decades: 1980s Collection has a ton of great movies at an affordable price. It also has Like Father, Like Son, Vice Versa, Little Nikita, Roxanne, PunchlineWho’s Harry Crumb?Blue ThunderSuspect and Band of the Hand. You can get this set from Deep Discount.

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama Primer: Re-Animator (1985)

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on April 29 and 30, 2022.

This Back to the 80s Weekend is going to be amazing!

The features for Friday, April 29 are Halloween 2Terror TrainMidnight and Effects.

Saturday, April 30 has Evil Dead 2Re-AnimatorDr. Butcher MD and Zombie 3.

Admission is still only $10 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $10 per person.

You can buy tickets at the show or use these links:

There is also a limited edition shirt available at the event.

Herbert West is amazing from the moment he walks into this movie. That’s all due to Jeffrey Combs, who owns every movie I’ve ever seen him in, like Castle Freak and The Frighteners.

Back when he was at the University of Zurich Institute of Medicine, he brought his dead professor, Dr. Hans Gruber (yes, the same name as Die Hard) back to life. However, the dose was too big and there were horrible side effects, he had to kill him, yelling, “I gave him life!”

He’s figured out a formula that can re-animate the dead and now he needs bodies that he can get thanks to his medical classmate Dan (Bruce Abbott, Bad Dreams). Of course, nothing is going to end up going well for anyone.

That’s because Dr. Carl Hill (David Gale) is in love with Dan’s girl, who is played by the always amazing and forever young Barbara Crampton (who is also incredibly great in Castle FreakChopping MallChannel Zero: The Dream DoorWe Are Still Here and more).

Miskatonic University is not ready for the sheer amount of gore and shenanigans that West is about to let loose. And when Rufus, Dan’s cat, is killed, well, why not bring him back to life and leave a note to explain?

You should totally buy this from https://cavitycolors.com/products/cat-dead-patch

As a result of this experiment, West and Dan get banned from the school, so they start breaking into morgues and injecting corpses with glowing liquid. Soon, the dead are violently rising to life and one of them ends up killing Megan’s dad, Dr. Halsey. So of course, they have to bring him back from the dead.

Dr. Hill ends up learning that our heroes — such as it is — have brought the dead back to life and he tries to take the formula. West will have none of that and lops off the evil scientist’s head with a shovel, then brings his head and body back from the dead.

Bad idea number, well, I’ve lost track. That’s because for some reason, the undead Dr. Hill can control the other zombies and now, he’s taken Megan for his own. If you think it’s disgusting that a zombie body places his own head in a pan between a naked woman’s legs so that he can go down on her, perhaps you should skip this.

Seriously: when David Gale’s wife first saw this scene, she stormed out shouting “David, how could you?!” They divorced soon after. For what it’s worth, Gale said that he felt “spiritually bereft” after filming the scene.

The film ends with West fighting Hill’s zombie intestines and Dan trying to bring Megan back from the dead. If you’re thinking sequel, so was everyone else, thanks to the 1990 follow-up, Bride of Re-Animator and 2003’s Beyond Re-Animator.

This whole movie is the result of a party conversation. Director Stuart Gordon was complaining that he’d seen too many Dracula and not enough Frankenstein movies, so someone asked if he had read the H.P. Lovecraft story that this movie was eventually based on. He hadn’t, he did and the rest is history. Bloody, bloody history.

The art for this article comes from MegaPlay Media on Deviant Art.

APRIL MOVIE THON DAY 7: The Peanut Butter Solution (1985)

There are 24 movies in the Canadian series Tales for All and man, are they all this weird? Originally known as Michael’s Fright, this is a movie that Skippy paid to be in, which is wild, because dude, Canadian kids movies are more frightening than American horror.

Michael Baskin is an 11-year-old boy in a crisis. His mother is in Australia taking care of her father’s estate and I’d like to think that she’s in Next of Kin. His father is barely able to take care of Michael and his sister Susan, who has taken to wearing her mother’s robe and role, which seems pretty much like the kind of behavior that CPS would question.

When Michael learns that an abandoned house has burned down — I’d like to think it’s the house from Cathy’s Curse — he explores it and encounters the ghosts of homeless people who died in the fire, which is the plot of, again, a horror movie anywhere else but Canada, where it’s a plot point in a movie — and I can’t stress this enough — made expressly for kids. The ghosts give him “The Fright” and he loses all his hair. Those same ghosts feel bad and give him the cure of the title, which he takes too far against their advice and starts growing way too much hair.

To hammer home that this is not for kids, his friend Connie uses the peanut butter solution all over his pre-pubes to show his friends that he’s gone through juvenescence, except that he grows Sunset Strip hair metal pubic hair.

Then, a teacher named The Signor knocks out and drugs Michael and kidnaps 500 children to make paintbrushes out of his ever-growing hair. Is that enough? What about Celine Dion singing two songs?

Producer Rock Demers has said when he and director Michael Rubbo began the film, their goal was to create a “gentle, frightening film.” He felt the theme was “If something frightens you, find out why. In most cases you’ll discover it wasn’t so frightening after all.”

Did he see the movie that he made? This was a bedtime story that Rubbo used to tell his children! And as this was Rubbo’s first non-documentary film, Czech surreal director Vojtech Jasný mentored him, so maybe that explains something.

You can get this from Severin Kids.

APRIL MOVIE THON APRIL 7: The Dirt Bike Kid (1985)

If you were a kid that grew up in Ellwood City, you were looking to rent one of three movies that were the hottest of childhood commodities: RadThrashin’ and The Dirt Bike Kid.

Who doesn’t want to watch Peter Billingsley go one on one with Stuart Pankin over a magical dirt bike? Having this movie for the night was a near mythic power trip and I still wonder, why didn’t the video store get another copy? Did they not care about the children?

Billingsley — wearing the exact same pair of glasses that he wore as Ralphie in A Christmas Story — is Jack Simmons, Pankin is the town’s banker Mr. Hodgkins and Jack’s mom Janet is played by Anne Bloom, making this a Not Necessarily the News reunion for her, Pankin,  Danny Breen (who plays Flaherty) and director Hoite C. Caston, who also made thirty-two episodes of that HBO comedy series. But isn’t the real star the 1985 Yamaha YZ80 that Jack buys for $50 that is filled with occult energy?

The idea for this came from Julie Corman and she has the same carny instincts as her husband, knowing that young kids would need something to rent along with their parents and older brothers and sisters. She made this for $800,000 and it moved 100,000 tapes, back in the day when rental copies cost ninety bucks. Never doubt a Corman when it comes to making money.

APRIL MOVIE THON DAY 6: Police Story (1985)

Jackie Chan came to America in the 80s and made The Big BrawlCannonball RunCannonball Run II and The Protector, none of which made him a star here and all of which disappointed him, particularly the last film. Police Squad is the movie that he wanted to make, a film based around stunts that Chan and his stunt team dreamed of doing and a story that united these moments together.

Jackie is Sergeant “Kevin” Chan Ka-Kui, who arrested a drug lord before getting charged with murder. The effort it takes to clear his name is the united story for all of the mayhem, as well as Ka-Kui protecting the drug dealer’s secretary Salina Fong (Brigitte Lin) before she testifies against him, all while his girlfriend May (Maggie Cheung) deals with her jealousy before helping him solve the case.

The end of the movie, which takes place in a glass-filled shopping mall, is filled with some of the most ill-advised stunts of Chan and his team’s careers. At one point, Chan slides down a pole from several stories up. One of Chan’s stuntmen gave him a hug and a Buddhist prayer paper, which he put in his trousers, and then he slid down that light-covered pole and recieved second-degree burns on his hands, a back injury and a dislocated pelvis. There are no wires, there was no practice take, just Chan giving his all to entertain audiences.

In 1990, Miramax wanted to give Jackie another chance in America and wanted to combine this movie and its sequel, the somehow even wilder Police Story 2, as one movie. Chan rejected them.

Five years later, he would finally become a star here with Rumble In the Bronx.

MILL CREEK BLU RAY RELEASE: Magnum PI (1980-1988)

Magnum P.I. was a constant in my life through a tumultuous time, starting when I was just 8 and ending when I was 16, seeing me through the most chaotic years of young life. Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV’s (Tom Selleck) adventures in Hawaii were a center, a Thursday night oasis — Wednesday from series 7 onward — that always knew would be there.

Magnum lives in the guest house of an opulent 200-acre beachfront estate known as Robin’s Nest. At some point, he provided services for its owner, world-famous novelist Robin Masters (voiced by Orson Welles for all but the final time when Red Crandell spoke for the character) and he’s been allowed full run of the estate and use of the author’s Ferrari 308 GTB/GTS in exchange for some nebulous security detail. In between, he takes on cases that rarely pay and often put his life in danger.

His archnemisis is Jonathan Quayle Higgins III (John Hillerman). Like Magnum, he’s also ex-army, but he’s by the book while our hero is laid back. He’s in charge of Robin’s estate, patrolling it with his twin Doberman, Zeus and Apollo. The relationship grows and changes as the series progresses, going from antagonistic to near friendship by the close, as well as the suspicion that Higgins is Robin Masters.

Magnum has a near-perfect storytelling engine as it has the perfect setting (all manner of people come to Hawaii for vacation or to escape), the perfect characters (Magnum can be just as much a film noir hero as he can be a military man or a romantic leading man; he’s a comedic figure without losing his coolness) and the perfect job (being a detective is a reliable TV profession for this reason). Add in his friends Theodore “T.C.” Calvin (Roger E. Mosley) — whose Island Hoppers helicopter can take Magnum anywhere — and Orville Wilbur Richard “Rick” Wright (Larry Manetti), whose King Kamehameha Club can be the origin for all manner of intrigue — and you can see why this series ran for so many years.

While T.C. and Rick are former Marines and Magnum is a former Navy SEAL — all served in Vietnam — none of them are shell-shocked zombies. They’re normal human beings who deal with their war experiences in their own way, which was a refreshing change for audiences — especially veterans — when the show started.

Magnum was such a big show that even other big shows crossed over with it, establishing a CBS detective show universe. In the episode “Ki’is Don’t Lie,” Magnum works with Simon & Simon to recover a cursed artifact, a mystery which had its conclusion in their show with the episode “Emeralds Are Not a Girl’s Best Friend.” Yet most famously, in “Novel Connection,” novelist Jessica Fletcher came to Hawaii — along with Jessica Walter and Dorothy Loudon — and then solved the case on her show, Murder, She Wrote, in the episode “Magnum on Ice.”

Speaking of guest stars, all manner of genre favorites appeared on this show, including Jenny Agutter, Talia Balsam, Ernest Borgnine, Candy Clark, Samantha Eggar, Robert Forster, Pat Hingle, Mako, Patrick Macness, Cameron Mitchell, Vic Morrow, John Saxon and many more.

Another reason why this show is so beloved is due to Selleck. He told producers, “I’m tired of playing what I look like.” His suggestion? He remembered having fun with James Garner on The Rockford Files and suggested making Magnum more of blue collar guy. This made him more identifiable with men, not just women.

One of the things that struck me as I caught up on the series was that the theme is different at the start! The original theme was written by Ian Freebairn-Smith and only lasted eleven episodes before being replaced with the iconic Mike Post and Pete Carpenter song that I hum all of the time.

At the end of the seventh season, Magnum died in a shoot out. I can’t even explain how upset everyone was. The letters page in TV Guide was aghast. Imagine if Twitter existed in the late 80s! Luckily, he came back for one shorter season.

Series creator Donald P. Bellisario — who created this show with Glen A. Larson — was born in North Charleroi, PA. I can probably see his house from mine. After fifteen years in advertising, he went to Hollywood, where he worked on the series Black Sheep Squadron and Battlestar Galactica before creating series like Tales of the Golden MonkeyAirwolfQuantum LeapJAG and NCIS. He was joined by writers like Richard Yalem (who made Delirium), Reuben A. Leder (A*P*E*Badlands 2005), Jay Huguely (Jason Goes to Hell), Andrew Schneider (the “Stop Susan Williams” and “Ther Secret Empire” chapters of Cliffhangers!), Stephen A. Miller (My Bloody Valentine), J. Miyoko Hensley (who wrote the Remo Williams: The Prophecy pilot) and even notorious celebrity fixer and detective Anthony Pellicano, as well as directors like David Hemmings (yes, from Deep Red), John Llewellyn Moxey, Jackie Cooper and Robert Loggia, amongst so many others.

The Mill Creek blu ray box set of Magnum P.I. has all 158 episodes of the show, as well as new interviews with composer Mike Post, writer/producer Chris Abbott, author C. Courtney Joyner on the sixty year career of director Virgil Vogel and actress/writer Deborah Pratt (who was the voice of the narrator and Ziggy on Quantum Leap). Plus, you also get two Tom Selleck guest star roles on The Rockford Files, featurettes on The Great 80’s TV Flashback and Inside the Ultimate Crime Crossover (Magnum P.I. and Murder, She Wrote) and audio commentary on three season 8 episodes.

Much like how Magnum was a calming part of my young life, having this set on my shelf during these turbulent times is just as warm of a feeling. Get this set and let the 80s wash over you like the beaches of Waikiki.

You can get this set from Deep Discount.

APRIL MOVIE THON DAY 2: Porky’s III (1985)

James Komack is best known for producing The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, Chico and the Man and Welcome Back, Kotter. To be honest, him making the third in this series is a thankless job, as Bob Clark didn’t return. He could have just been quiet about coming on board, but he told the Los Angeles Times that when Clark made the last movie that he “failed to understand their own formula. Porky’s touched on reality, it presented a cross-section of adolescent sex life during a certain time frame. Bob apparently tried to elevate his big success and use it to portray a message. But the original was not a film about humanity; it was a film, pure and simple, about teen-age sex. The sequel, a whitewash of the original, didn’t play.”

As for Clark, he was interested but also busy directing Rhinestone. He wanted the time to think of a new story, but the producers hired Ziggy Steinberg to write the screenplay, which Clark hated. He was so upset that he refused to have anything to do with this movie.

During the semi-final basketball game, the cheerleaders promise the team an orgy if they win. This did not happen in the 50s. And so the film begins, bringing back Porky (Chuck Mitchell) and most of the cast — Nancy Parsons, who played Ms. Balbricker had lost a lot of weight since the first movie and only came back if she got a percentage of the profits — and has a new character in Porky’s daughter Blossom, who is in love with Meat.

As bad as the movie is, the soundtrack makes up for it. Dave Edmunds brought together Jeff Beck, George Harrison, Willie Nelson, Carl Perkins, The Crawling King Snakes (Robert Plant and Phil Collins) and The Fabulous Thunderbirds to create music that is way better than this movie could ever hope to deserve.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH: Otello (1985)

If you haven’t realized it by now, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus wanted Cannon to mean more than action movies. That’s why they made a deal with opera star Plácido Domingo to make a movie of one of his operas. They wanted to make Verdi’s Il trovatore but he felt that Otello was the right one to film, as it was his signature role.

Domingo had worked with Franco Zeffirelli (whose career goes from the highs of Romeo and Juliet and Taming of the Shrew to, well, The Champ and Endless Love) on Cavalleria Rusticana and Pagliacci. As they were working on Tosca as a stage production, they taked about collaborating again.

As shooting was to begin, there was a massive earthquake in Mexico City. While born in Madrid, he grew up there and left his career to help with the rescue efforts. He also performed at several benefit concerts to raise funds for the victims and released an album of one of the events for charity. His work was so important to the people of Mexico City that tehre’s a statue in his honor, sculpted by Alejandra Zúñiga, and made from keys donated by people.

Zeffirelli said that the tenor used his hard work in this film to help forget the traumatic sights in Mexico of the injured and dead, several of whom were his family members.

Otello follows the original score of Arrigo Boito’s opera with some changes, such as cutting some sections short. It also allows for the medium of film to expand on what would normally happen on stage. The soundtrack, however, has the full opera.

Unlike many Cannon movies, this was well-reviewed. It was named Best Foreign Film of 1986 by the U.S. National Board of Review of Motion Pictures and played the 1986 Cannes Film Festival. It was Zeffirelli’s favorite movie that he made to the point that he felt that he could never make another film this good.

CANNON MONTH: Runaway Train (1985)

It’s easy to forget that at one time, before the controversies of paternity and politics, Jon Voight was considered one of, if not the, greatest actors in the world. The same can be said for Eric Roberts in the era before he was in a movie every single week. Runaway Train is a reminder that just how powerful both men can be.

It’s also a remembrance that Cannon wasn’t just the studio of ninjas and Norris. The script came from director Djordje Milicevic, Paul Zindel and Edward Bunker and it was based on an original screenplay by Akira Kurosawa (who worked on it with Hideo Oguni and Ryūzō Kikushima). That’s a real pedigree for any movie, much less one that was produced by Golan and Globus.

Kurosawa had read an article in Life magazine about a runaway train and worked up his original script, which he intended to make in 1966 for Embassy Pictures in America, but the money kept falling through and he moved on to make Tora! Tora! Tora!

Fifteen years later, the Nippon Herald company owned that script and decided to get it made. They asked Francis Ford Coppola to recommend a director and he suggested Andrei Konchalovsky.

Konchalovsky had made Maria’s Lovers already for Cannon (he’d also make Duet for One and Shy People for Golan and Globus) and he was able to get the studio on board, as well as Voight, who had aided him in receiving his first U.S. work visa.

The result? A Cannon film nominated for three Oscars: Best Film Editing, Best Supporting Actor for Roberts and Best Actor for Voight.

Oscar “Manny” Manheim (Voight) is a hero to the men of Alaska’s Stonehaven Maximum Security Prison. He’s almost escaped numerous times and a three-year bid in solitary hasn’t dulled his edge or need to be free. After a court order gets him back in general population, he’s targeted by the warden (John P. Ryan, who is also in Cannon’s Avenging ForceDeath Wish 4: The Crackdown and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection). There’s an incredible scene set during a boxing match — look for a young Danny Trejo* — when another prisoner tries to stab Manheim under orders. Even as he’s knifed and sliced through his hand, Manheim is a feral animal, walking through the gunfire of the guards and demanding that his would-be killer keep coming after him.

All of this means that his next escape plan needs to happen now. He works with Buck McGeehy (Roberts) to scale the wall, run through the snow, swim across a frozen river and take a train across the country to freedom. If only it were that simple.

What follows is a train — and Manny — out of control, roaring into the snow-strewn world with the cry of a feral beast, challenging man, nature, machine and fate as the convict would rather choose the victory of death than the defeat of being held within prison walls. I was struck by the final shot as he stands atop the ruined lead engine, arms outstretched and howling at destiny.

Rebecca De Mornay is also great in this as Sara, one of the few crew members on the train and an example of humanity in the midst of all this rage.

Runaway Train is probably the best film that ever came out of Cannon, if not the most successful at the box office. It never lets up and makes you believe and care about its leads unlike any movie I’ve seen in years. I can only imagine how excited Golan and Globus were to be, if only fleetingly, the producers of a movie that people took seriously.

*Trejo was the Narcotics Anonymous sponsor of one of the production assistants on this movie. He was visiting that person when he was offered a job as an extra. Edward Bunker, who wrote Straight Time and Animal Factory — as well as this film — had been in San Quentin with Trejo and got him hired as Roberts’ boxing coach. Konchalovskiy was so impressed with Trejo that he gave him his role. Trejo would later say that he was amazed to earn $320 a day, more than any crime had ever made him.

CANNON MONTH: Fool for Love (1985)

Fool for Love got its start as a play written by American Sam Shepard as part of his Family Trilogy, which is really five plays. The others are Curse of the Starving Class, Buried ChildTrue West and A Lie of the Mind. Originally, Kathy Bates and Ed Harris were the May and Eddie, who are played in this film by Shepherd and Kim Basinger.

This is yet another bid for artistic importance for Cannon, who not only got a screenplay and lead role out of Shepard, but Robert Altman as director.

Set in Shepard’s beloved American Southwest and expanding the play’s smaller cast and setting with more characters and an entire motel complex — the crew used the other rooms for production — we discover May, who is hiding out in said hotel when her old flame Eddie shows up. They’ve been through make-up and break-up more times than we can probably count and she refuses him at every turn, claiming to have moved on with Martin (Randy Quaid).

Meanwhile, the Old Man (Harry Dean Stanton) acts as the story’s Greek chorus, telling each of the main characters the information they desire. It turns out that he had two families in one town, which led to our leads being siblings without knowing it. After becoming lovers, Eddie’s mother shot herself. Eddie has started to become his father, sleeping around without considering the emotions that are destroyed in his wake, such as The Countess (Deborah McNaughton), a revolving carrying love who keeps coming back to enact her revenge.

Cannon somehow released this film the same year as Missing in Action 2: The BeginningRappin’ and American Ninja, which speaks to the sheer volume — and all over the place insanity — of what the studio released. Not many other studios released movies meant for Cannes as it also unleashed films born for the drive-in.

You can watch this on Tubi.