Deadly Twins (1985)

Also known as Double ExposureDeadly TriggerShutter and Femme FatalesDeadly Twins is somehow a starring video for the Landers sisters. They’re not twins — Audrey is two years older than Judy — but you’re forgiven if you believed they were.

Born in Philadelphia, Audrey was noticed first and recorded a country record for Epic Records before moving to Los Angeles and appearing on eighty-plus episodes of Dallas. Judy moved to LA and showed up in movies like HellholeStewardess School and Dr. Alien.

The two made plenty of appearances together on The Love Boat and two movies produced by their mother Ruth, Circus Island and Ghost Writer. They also were on the cover of the January 1983 Playboy and did not appear nude inside.

In this movie, they play Polly and Ruth Madison, twin sisters who are booked to do a singing appearance in Germany — their last one because Ruth is with child — but they end up getting assaulted. Ruth loses the baby, her boyfriend Warner dies when he drives too quickly to the hospital and they go on the kind of endless chase that reminds one of children playing with Hot Wheels and refusing to come inside for dinner.

I have a theory that directors Joe Oaks and Joe Berger were super fans of the Landers and wanted to try and win them over by claiming to be big filmmakers. When they all got together, the two Joes got super shy and sitcom style had to back up their lies by actually making the movie. They didn’t win the ladies but they did leave behind a movie that I’ve watched more than once and several times with other people, all of whom are usually incredulous and say things like, “Why did you make me watch this?” and “Are these drag queens?”

Bill made this amazing trailer for this movie which is pretty much the best thing ever.

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