Tubi picks 32

I took a break to recharge and see when Tubi would add some new films and wow — it’s literally overflowing with some great picks if I do say so myself. Enjoy!

1. Alice or the Last Escapade: TUBI LINK

Claude Chabrol directing a French surrealistic retelling of Alice in Wonderland with Sylvia Kristel in the lead. Why are you not watching this now?

2. Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!: TUBI LINK

or and rocker Neil Stuart (co-writer Matt Farley) has returned to the small New England city of Rivertown that he left in disgrace after growing obsessed by a riverbeast. His fiancee is marrying someone else. His enemy, reporter Sparky Watts, is still hounding him to no end. And maybe his new student, the daughter of a noted pro athlete Frank Stone, has way too many questions. But this time, he just might turn his life around. And you know, prove that the creek-living creature is an actual thing DO NOT MISS THIS MOVIE.

3. Valerie and Her Week of Wonders: TUBI LINK

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders is based on the 1935 Vítezslav Nezval novel. Much like that work, this movie is a work of surrealism and one of the films that I can best point to being part of a genre I’ve been referring to as “dark childhood” films, which I’ve come to represent as movies that use the supernatural to explain the pains of oncoming adulthood. Do not miss the opportunity to watch this.

4. Reform School Girls: TUBI LINK

Wendi O. Williams and Sybil Danning in the same movie? What else does one need?

5. The Canyons: TUBI LINK

The Canyons feels so unlike every other movie out there, nearly feeling like the most high budget adult movie while also coming off like a cheap direct to streaming movie with some level of star power.

6. Creature from Black Lake: TUBI LINK

If you’re up for seeing college students try and get laid while eating burgers and hunting Bigfoot, then this is probably the exact movie you’re looking for.

7. Tough Guys Don’t Dance: TUBI LINK

This is a movie about, by and for cocaine; a film in which the term imbroglio is said; where everyone is so sexed up that you can almost smell the Pine-sol scent of an adult book store’s neon flashing into the cold and foggy niht beckoning couples that are ready to decimate their lives for momentary and fleeting glimpses of the kind of orgasms they read about in letters to Penthouse; where women say things like, “Well, honey, I am a witch” and throw seance parties. Again, this is a must watch.

8. Martin: TUBI LINK

I don’t know how Martin got on Tubi and I don’t even care what the print looks like. The fact that this once nearly impossible to find movie is available for free whenever you want to see it is proof that life can sometimes be OK.

9. Maniac Cop: TUBI LINK

I just watched this at the drive-in and I don’t really know if I can love a movie any more than this.

10. Rolling Thunder: TUBI LINK

Tubi is the mom and pop video store of streaming services. The good news? Rolling Thunder is always in.

Tubi picks 31

After a break, I’m back with more picks to watch on Tubi.

1. Tropic of Cancer: TUBI LINK

I don’t even know what category this movie goes into. Mondo voodoo giallo sex film? It does have Anita Strindberg in it, which is enough to get me to watch.

2. The Barbarians: TUBI LINK

Director Ruggero Deodato brings together Richard Lynch, twin muscleheads called the Barbarian Brothers, George Eastman and Michael Berryman and the results are everything you dreamed that they would be.

3. Alone In the T-Shirt Zone: TUBI LINK

Writer/director/t-shirt designer/sound man and probably everything else Mike B. Anderson went from creating this to working on The Simpsons. None of that will prepare you for this movie as it’s one of the weirdest teen sex comedies — is it a comedy? — I have ever watched.

4. Curfew: TUBI LINK

If you’re looking for a movie where Kyle Richards causes one murderous brother to murder the other with a drill, well, here it is.

5. The Initiation: TUBI LINK

A mall-based slasher with Daphne Zuniga, Clu Gulager, Vera Miles and a great ending.

6. Who Saw Her Die?: TUBI LINK

If you see one movie where a father has sex instead of watching his daughter and spends the rest of the movie hunting her killing through the canals of Venice, you should probably watch Don’t Look Now. In fact, you may not even realize there’s another movie with the same plot. Actually, there is and to be honest, it’s really good. And believe it or not, this movie came out a year before Roeg’s.

7. The People Under the Stairs: TUBI LINK

Wes Craven would say that this movie was closer to The Hills Have Eyes than any film he’d done in a while, telling Fangoria that it was “a raw film with no dreams in it whatsoever. It’s an extraordinary, real situation involving an awful family that shouldn’t exist, but unfortunately, often does.” I mean, that’s kind of poetic, huh?

8. Drop Dead Fred: TUBI LINK

We live in an amazing world where a movie once impossible to find can now be streamed anywhere and any time.

9. Southland Tales: TUBI LINK

Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko, a film that had a cult that is still obsessed with it, and then followed that movie with Southland Tales, which has, well, probably me still trying to figure it out. I love this movie nonetheless.

10. The Blood Spattered Bride: TUBI LINK

This movie may be like The Vampire Lovers and Daughters of Darkness, but those movies don’t have their protagonist’s sexual awakening come complete with remembering that her husband uses her for sex whenever he wants it without pleasure for her, so she blows another man’s balls clean off with a shotgun.

Tubi picks 30

Tubi keeps adding movies and I feel like it’s my duty to find the strange and weird, then tell you why you should watch it.

1. Skinned Deep: TUBI LINK

You know the movie that Rob Zombie keeps trying to make? This is it but so much better. And weirder.

2. Satan’s Storybook: TUBI LINK

This shot on video anthology may make no sense, but it has Grady Bradner, the writer of The Howling, as a clown and Ginger Lynn as a ninja fighting Satan, who looks like Danzig after a visit to the Spirit Store.

3. Disconnected: TUBI LINK

Shot in Waterbury, Connecticut and featuring a soundtrack with XTC, The Excerpts (the band Jon Brion started in), Haysi Fantayzee and Hunters & Collectors, there really isn’t a slasher — there isn’t a movie — like this.

4. American Nightmare: TUBI LINK

Glenn once said, “Hot cherry on Friday night, when the sun goes down my spine. I put an axe in my baby’s head, I’m gonna end up doing time. She looks so good in red. American nightmare running scared.” This was made in Canada, though.

5. Necromancer: TUBI LINK

A demonic I Spit On Your Grave directed by Dusty Nelson, who made Effects, and written by William T. Naud, who directed Island of Blood/Whodunit. That’s two awesome reasons to watch this. Here’s two more: Elizabeth Kaitan and Russ Tamblyn.

Check out the interview I did with Dusty before you watch it!

6. Blood and Lace: TUBI LINK

A movie where a teenage girl, whose prostitute mother was killed with a hammer, moves into an orphanage where people repeatedly get their hands cut off that’s rated PG. Also Vic Tayback.

7. Dark Tower: TUBI LINK

Released in the U.S. as The Curse V and as Demons 7: The Inferno in Japan, this movie has Jenny Agutter in some of the most ridiculously unrevealing lingerie ever seen in a movie and was directed by Freddie Francis, who replaced Ken Wiederhorn (Shock Waves).

8. Poor Pretty Eddie: TUBI LINK

There is something in here to offend everyone. Seriously, this movie is horrifying. I’ve watched it around five times.

9. Identikit: TUBI LINK 

Liz Taylor loses her mind and just may be in a giallo. Man, I love this movie.

10. A White Dress for Marialé: TUBI LINK

This made me reconsider Romano Scavolini and see him as much better than a hack who made Nightmares in a Damaged Brain.

What do you recommend?

Tubi picks 29

Tubi picks are back. There’s so much on this streaming channel and it’s my duty to tell you the weird stuff.

1. Rondo and Bob: TUBI LINK

A wonderful documentary about Robert A. Burns and his connection to Rondo Hatton and what he did for filmmaking.

2. Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I have the Key: TUBI LINK

Has a movie ever had a better title and then more than was better than the title?

3. Meridian: TUBI LINK

Consider this Full Moon After Dark. Sexy monsters, people.

4. Spellcaster: TUBI LINK

Adam Ant and Bunty Bailey running around in Charles Band’s castle. What else do you want?

5. Magic Spot: TUBI LINK

A wonderful documentary about Robert A. Burns and his connection to Rondo Hatton and what he did Most time travel movies upset me because they set up a logic and then step all over that logic. In Magic Spot, Farley and Charles Roxburgh have created a movie that works on whatever level you want to watch it: as a Motern Media fan, as a lover of indie film, as someone looking for a romantic comedy, as a time travel story and so on. It’s also got some of the best songs I’ve heard in their movies.

6. El Escapulario: TUBI LINK

This movie looks beyond gorgeous, even as it shows scenes of condemned and hung men swinging after their deaths. Somehow uniting multiple genre and countries of cinema, as well as being folk horror by way of Mexican Catholicism, this movie finds death everywhere and still finds a reason to smile (and by frightened at the same time).

7. Vacation of Terror: TUBI LINK

This movie has it all. Bleeding walls, refrigerators teeming with rats and no small amount of snakes and spiders. It also has Julio, the affable teen who hopes to save the family and the babysitter that he is in love with.

8. The AGFA Horror Trailer Show: TUBI LINK

Unleashed from the dungeon of the American Genre Film Archive (AGFA), this is a compilation of some of the wildest, most insane trailers they could find. Trust me, I have so many trailer compilations and this one even surprised me with some of its entries.

9. Libido: TUBI LINK

When he was just a boy, Christian (Giancarlo Gianni, Black Belly of the Tarantula) watched his father kill a woman and then himself. Now he’s come back to the house where it all happened along with his wife Helene. The only others there are Paul (Luciano Pigozzi, who we all know was Pag in Yor Hunter from the Future) and his wife Brigitte (writer and direct Ernesto Gastaldi’s wife Mara Meryl). Also probably where Argento got the doll in Deep Red from.

10. 13 Tracks to Frighten Agatha Black: TUBI LINK

A stunning mix of giallo and early 70s regional horror influences combined with the horror of Halloween sound effects records to document a young woman perhaps losing her sanity.

Tubi picks 28 (Holiday Heck)

Looking for something to watch with your family over this week of seasonal fun? You came to the wrong place. These Tubi Christmas movies are for Yuletide yahoos only.

1. Don’t Open Till Christmas: TUBI LINK

Absolute filth, horrible filmmaking, bad acting, a story that makes no sense and a top billed Caroline Munro who is in this for about forty seconds. I watch this every season.

2. Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker: TUBI LINK

The best or the strangest of the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, this movie is just insane. A Pinocchio movie about evil gifts and bad marriages? Yes. Oh yes.

3. Santa Claus: TUBI LINK

A magical Mexican reimagining of Christmas or a movie made by a crazy Rene Cardonna who had no idea of the story of Santa? Tell me, please.

4. I Believe In Santa Claus: TUBI LINK

This is my favorite holiday movie and I know the words to all of the songs. You’re going to hate it.

5. The Magic Christmas Tree: TUBI LINK

Much like The Wizard of Oz, The Magic Christmas Tree thinks that reality is in black and white while dreams are in color. Both films have a witch. Both movies have wishes. But only one of them had a budget. And only one of them is a classic beloved by families for generations.

6. Silent Night, Bloody Night: TUBI LINK

Do you want a holiday movie that starts with a man on fire dying in the snow? You got it.

7. Tales from the Crypt: TUBI LINK

Christmas can’t start until Joan Collins is dead. Oh poor Joan.

8. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny: TUBI LINK

No movie has ever hurt my head more. Seriously, this movie is all the drugs at once.


Created by the trio of Franck Khalfoun, Alexandre Aja and Grégory Levasseur — who also worked together on the 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes —  P2 is about working through the holidays, struggling for meaning and losing yourself in your work identity. It’s also about a lone girl trying to survive being kidnapped in the underground garage that gives the movie its title.

10. Saving Christmas: TUBI LINK

This was not a movie made for me. I also don’t think it was made for Christians. I think it was made for Kirk, his family and close multiethnic friends. Things just got out of hand and it ended up being released in theaters and they had to go along with it.

Happy holidays. I hope these movies find you in health and happiness.

Tubi picks 27

A little late, but here are some movies to watch on Tubi:

1. Zombie Death House: TUBI LINK

Zombies. The mob. And directed by John Saxon. Ah, Tubi you give so much.

2. Play Dead: TUBI LINK

Yvonne Decarlo plays Hester, a wealthy heiress who was jilted years ago when her boyfriend married her sister. Now, she’s out to not only get them, but their children too. And she has a 200-pound Rottweiler ready to make it happen.

3. Dressed to Kill: TUBI LINK

American giallo. Dressed to Kill is DePalma at the top of his power.

4. Tammy and the T-Rex: TUBI LINK

Don’t spoil this if you haven’t seen it. Go in cold and get ready to lose your brain.

5. Boardinghouse: TUBI LINK

The first horror film in history to be shot on video, Boardinghouse is…well…there really isn’t anything else like Boardinghouse. Somehow, this movie seems at once ten minutes and ten hours long, taking you on a journey into — man, I have no idea how we got here ot where we’ve been, but we really went somewhere.

6. Beyond the Seventh Door: TUBI LINK

What if Indiana Jones was in a movie made by David Lynch with little to no budget, shot like a TV movie and with a virtual unknown in the lead instead of Harrison Ford. Now, ingest as many drugs as you can find in your home. There — you have a small idea of what this movie is like.

7. Shanty Tramp: TUBI LINK

A small-town Southern white prostitute has to decide between her lust for a black man and a sleazy revival-tent preacher.

8. Freddy Got Fingered: TUBI LINK

How many movies are you going to see where the lead cuts open roadkill to get inside it as if it were a tauntaun or delivers a baby by twirling it over his head?

9. Howl from Beyond the Fog: TUBI LINK

Inspired by Ray Bradbury’s “The Fog Horn,” which was also made as The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, this movie features a creature called Nebula, which was designed by Keizo Murase, who has sculpted everything from VaranMothraMatangoGameraYongary and numerous appearances of Godzilla. He’s still working, getting ready to direct a movie called Brush of the God about a magical brush that can save reality. It’s the first movie he’s ever directed and he’s had the idea ever since he worked on The MIghty Peking Man.

10. RoboCop 3: TUBI LINK

RoboCop 3 presents an astounding and completely science fiction conceit: a robot police officer built by a corporation decides to stop serving the interests of law, order and the establishment and throws in with a bunch of homeless multicultural people. Read this line and get it: RoboCop gets shot by a bunch of white supremacist cops, realizes ACAB, gets a jetpack and fights robot ninjas. Obviously, this movie is amazing.

Tubi picks 26: Albert Pyun

The world lost someone who truly loved film this week. Albert Pyun started his career getting to work in Japanese film thanks to actor Toshiro Mifune and worked on a TV series with him, which allowed him to study with Akira Kurosawa’s Director of Photography Takao Saito. After working in advertising, Pyun made it to Los Angeles where he started to direct films. Sure, he made direct to video and genre films, but even when his movies were made on the absolute cheap, there was a genius to each of them.

I’ll be going deeper into his films in the future but until then, here are a few of the many Albert Pyun movies on Tubi:

1. Cyborg: TUBI LINK

A post-apocalyptic JCVD movie where every character is named for a guitar, made on the abandoned sets of the never-made sequel to Masters of the Universe. Another day at the office for Pyun.

2. The Sword and the Sorcerer: TUBI LINK

Pyun’s first film — and his highest box office as well — has Richard Lynch, Richard Moll, Lee Horsely, Simon MacCorkingdale and a triple-bladed sword. It’s even better than it sounds.

3. Nemesis: TUBI LINK

Pyun once said, “”I have really no interest in cyborgs. And I’ve never really had any interest in post-apocalyptic stories or settings. It just seemed that those situations presented a way for me to make movies with very little money, and to explore ideas that I really wanted to explore…”

But yeah, he made a lot of movies about cyborgs.

4. Arcade: TUBI LINK

It’s like Full Moon wanted a Tron of their own and didn’t think Disney would sue. Well, they did. The movie is still pretty fun and has a wild cast and an early story by David Goyer.

5. Dollman: TUBI LINK

Tim Thomerson is so awesome that he got two different Full Moon characters: Jack Deth and Brick Bardo, who is also known as Dollman. Pyun was so good at comic book-style movies that eventually, he’d get to make one of his own: Captain America.

6. Vicious Lips: TUBI LINK

The Vicious Lips are trying to become the biggest rock band in the galaxy. Made up of Bree Synn (Gina Calabrese, The Dungeonmaster), Wynzi Krodo (Linda Kerridge, Marilyn from Fade to Black!) and Mandaa UUeu (Shayne Farris, who was also in Down Twisted with Kerridge), they’ve just lost their lead singer Ace to, well, death and need to get to a gig across the universe. It’s not perfect but it has a great idea behind it.

7. Journey to the Center of the Earth: TUBI LINK

An absolute mess that was saved by Pyun, who made this movie with zero budget and somehow turned out something. I’m not saying that it’s good, but it is something. I wonder how Pyun got Emo Philips to even be in this.

8. Dangerously Close: TUBI LINK

I love this movie. It’s so odd because the town where it takes place is perfect and yet has more fog than any place in California other than the Sunset Strip. It’s my favorite movie Pyun did and more people need to see it.

9. Bloodmatch: TUBI LINK

Only Pyun could turn a kung fu direct to video film into a noir whodunnit. And here it is.

10. Omega Doom: TUBI LINK

This description should tell you why you need to see this: “In a future Earth where robots rule, a bad robot whose hard drive was destroyed tries to stop a droid civil war in order to find a stash of weapons.” Also: Rutger Hauer and Shannon Whirry are in it.

TUBI picks 25

Better late than never, I guess, when it comes to this week’s Tubi picks.

You can catch up with all of the past weeks on this Letterboxd list.

1.  Midnight: TUBI LINK

Lynn Redgrave is Elvira in a movie made by the director of The Black Room in a murder mystery that has Frank Gorshin and Wolfman Jack.

2. Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters: TUBI LINK

Little Red Riding Hood (Maria Gracia) and Tom Thumb (Cesáreo Quezadas, also known as Pulgarcito) aren’t content to live out the fairy tales that we know them from (or in Tom Thumb’s case, being a member of P.T. Barnum’s circus). No, they seek out and battle the La Reina Bruja — the Queen Witch — who has an army full of monsters. This movie is going to destroy you.

3. Delirium: TUBI LINK

A vet is hired by right-wingers to clean up the streets from crooks and homeless people, but when he starts killing everyone, things get out of hand in this video nasty.

4. The Theater Bizarre: TUBI LINK

A co-production between Severin Films and Metaluna Productions, each director was given the same budget, schedule and narrative directive. Other than that, they were given free rein to create their own story. The results may not be even, but you can tell that this was made by filmmakers who understand that a horror anthology can be a very powerful movie.

5. Santa Claus: TUBI LINK

This movie has so many insane ideas, it’s difficult to summarize them. From learning that demons primarily eat hot coals to the fact that every child that works for Santa must wear a racist costume that denotes their country of origin (all Japanese children wear kimonos, all Americans are cowboys), this is a movie brimming with barely concealed menace. Watch it immediately.

6. Kristy: TUBI LINK

Thanksgiving may be over but this slasher is so good you can watch it any time of the year.

7. A Cat In the Brain: TUBI LINK

Lucio Fulci has made too many movies and has lost his mind, using the effects of the movies he lent his name to illustrate his psychosis. At the January 1996 Fangoria Horror Convention in New York City, he would appear on crutches with a bandaged foot, two months before death, and proclaim that Wes Craven stole this idea. You go, ranting crazy maestro.

8. The Living Dead Girl: TUBI LINK

Jess Franco presents a story of love, blood drinking, setting photographers on fire and mildew-ridden castles, all set in a world where everyone — even you — is on drugs.

9. Godmonster of Indian Flats: TUBI LINK

Frederic Hobbs was an artist who went from the traditional to a whole way of presenting art, creating parade sculptures that took art from the museum to the people. That’s when he figured it out — to get the people to see something as art, you should hide it in a film. He made this movie, Roseland and Alabama’s Ghost; I can definitely say each of those movies are fucking insane.

10. Nightbeast: TUBI LINK

At the same time John Waters was making people puke on one side of Baltimore, Don Doehler was doing the same. One made strange comedies; the other made low budget science fiction and horror. Both loved film. Get into this one!



What’s on Tubi? A lot. Let’s find what’s good this week.

1.  Curse of the Crimson Altar: TUBI LINK

Barbara Steele leads wild orgies of death and psychedelic mayhem.  I mean, is there anything else worth your time in this world? This is everything.

2. The Astro-Zombies: TUBI LINK

“With just a touch of my burning handI’m gonna live my life to destroy your worldPrime directive, exterminate The whole fuckin’ race”

Tura Satana means more to me than 90% of this world. If she asked me to become a zombie controlled by a flashlight, I’d buy her the batteries.

3. The Black Belly of the Tarantula: TUBI LINK

A mysterious killer is killing women who were involved with a blackmail scheme, using a needle to paralyze them before he slices their stomachs open, the same way a tarantula kills a wasp. Yes, this is the roughest of giallo, but along the way, you have Barbara Bach, Claudine Auger and the goddess on this mudball who is Barbara Bouchet. Also a Morricone score.

4. Toys Are Not for Children: TUBI LINK

For a movie with no hardcore sex, this movie is the filthiest and most perverted non-porn sex movie I’ve seen. It’s not for everyone so be warned but man, it goes there, stays there and laughs at you for following it.

5. FirewalkerTUBI LINK

This movie can’t even decide if its treasure is Mayan, Aztec Egyptian or Apache. So what? It’s J. Lee Thompson directing Chuck Norris and really what else is there that’s better in life?

6. Cannibal Apocalypse: TUBI LINK

John Saxon loses his mind, starts eating people and then it really gets dark. Sheer madness, blood and Italian mayhem.

7. Opera: TUBI LINK

I would argue that Argento pretty much finished his great run of movies here, a film that is literally nonstop cool shots over a story that you can follow and really, who cares? This movie is astounding, including the auteur shooting he ex-wife directly through the head, at least on celluloid.

8. Blind Fury: TUBI LINK

This is probably the most fun movie I’ve seen this year. I have no clue why I waited so long to watch it. Don’t make the same mistake as me.

9. Return to Savage Beach: TUBI LINK

The last Andy Sidaris movie, this is a dream, a film shot on a beach but mostly in office complexes that somehow finds a way into your heart. In a perfect world, there would be like fifteen more of these movies and that still wouldn’t be enough.

10. Night of the Seagulls: TUBI LINK

Every seven years, the Templars come back and a virgin is given to them. The outsiders who have just moved here? They should have stayed home. The Blind Dead move slow, have their own doom theme song and are my favorite Eurohorror monsters.

TUBI PICKS 23 – Bronson Week!

Born November 3, 1921, in Ehrenfeld, PA, Charles Bronson is the action star and tough guy that every wish they were wishes they were. While he didn’t become a big star until he was nearly fifty years old, he did so through hard work and becoming a name outside of Hollywood. This week, allow Tubi to introduce you to some of his best work.

1.  Death Wish 2TUBI LINK

2. Death Wish 3: TUBI LINK

3. Death Wish 4: TUBI LINK

Seriously, each of these movies is great in their own way, but the third one is everything that I love about action movies. You can get the full Death Wish download in this long article.

4. Chato’s Land: TUBI LINK

Michael Winner and Bronson made some wild movies together. Here, they’re just getting started.

5. Violent City: TUBI LINK

Man, this is a mean movie. A dark, brutal and nihilistic movie. And man, it’s great.

6. Breakheart Pass: TUBI LINK

The end of this movie? One of the best fight scenes I’ve ever seen. The whole film is awesome, too.

7. The Evil That Men Do: TUBI LINK

As Bronson’s Cannon work went on, it got stranger and I’m there for all of it. This has an incredible close too.

8. The Stone Killer: TUBI LINK

Bronson and Winner. That’s all I really need to say, right?

9. Kinjite: Forbidden SubjectsTUBI LINK

When reviewing the movie, the Los Angeles Times said, “If you think you might be offended by it, don’t go. You will be.”

10. The MechanicTUBI LINK

The Mechanic is so stressed out that he passes out at times; such are the issues of being the best killer in the world. I’m a copywriter and it happens to me, so I get it.