Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

Tammy’s a popular high school cheerleader whose new boyfriend, Michael, might be the love of her life.

You are a movie viewer that can’t believe that Denise Richards and Paul Walker are in a 1990’s straight to video comedy that for some reason has near-insane levels of gore and blood.

If only Tammy’s jealous ex-boyfriend Billy didn’t kidnap Michael and throw him in a wildlife preserve, where he’s mauled by a lion and then has his brain implanted into a robotic T-Rex.

Yes, this is all true. Of course, if you rented this in the 1990’s, it was rated PG-13. Now, thanks to Vinegar Syndrome, we have the original vision of this film, which is…ridiculous to say the least.

Co-writer and director Stewart Raffill (The Ice Pirates, The Philadelphia Experiment, Mac and Me, Mannequin 2: Mannequin On the Move) described how this movie got made to the Bristol Bad Film Club by explaining that he went into business with a South American theater owner who had an animatronic T-Rex bound for a Texas park. “The eyes worked. The arms moved. The head moved. He had it for two weeks before it was going to be shipped to Texas and he came to me and said, “We can make a movie with it!” I said, “What’s the story?” and he said, “I don’t have a story, but we have to start filming within the month!” and so I wrote the story in a week.”

The film starts with Michael (Walker) and Billy getting into a fight where they won’t stop squeezing one another’s scrotums. In fact, this movie has more balls-related attacks than any other movie I’ve seen in some time.

Terry Kiser, the titular Bernie of Weekend at Bernie’s plays Dr. Gunther Wachenstein, who messily takes the brain of Michael and places it into that robotic dinosaur. He then flips out and goes wild, searching for the bullies that put him in this horrible situation. Oh yeah — John Franklin (Isaac from Children of the Corn) is Michael’s uncle who doesn’t care at all about what’s happening.

Efren Ramirez — Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite — shows up as a pizza boy and George “Buck” Flower is in this as well.

What you’re watching this for is to see Paul Walker’s soul inside a barely moving dino that messily dispatches of his tormentors. I have no idea who the audience is for this movie, but I count myself amongst it.

Once you realize that it comes from the man who brought you a child getting shot in the original cut of Mac and Me, it all makes sense. Also knowing that Raffill did the second Mannequin film makes the stereotypical ways of Tammy’s gay friend Byron Black make at least some modicum of sense, too.

You have to love a movie that misspells the lead character’s name — when she’s the title of the movie — as Tanny in the credits.

Ready to see something you may not be ready for? You can catch this on Shudder or go all out and get the blu ray from the awesome people at Vinegar Syndrome.

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