Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)

Oh Ted Post. You made Beneath the Planet of the Apes. You directed Magnum Force. On TV, you were in the director’s chair for episodes of Gunsmoke, Perry Mason, Wagon Train, Rawhide, The Twilight Zone, Combat!, Columbo, 178 episodes of Peyton Place and the TV movie that launched Cagney and Lacey.

You made The Baby.

If that alone didn’t make us adore you, you also brought together four grand dames — Helen Hayes, Myrna Loy, Mildred Natwick and Sylvia Sidney — and gave us some hagsploitation fun on free TV. These four silver-haired troublemakers invent a woman for the new world of computer dating and jazz up their meet-ups by discussing the fictional world that their invented modern girl lives in.

Of course, their fictional girl has raised the ire or a serial killer named Mal, played by Vince Edwards. Yes, the very same man who was once the kindly Ben Casey. Now he’s figured out that our plucky foursome is behind his mystery woman and all the gin fizzes and old fashioneds won’t save them.

A year after this movie aired (original air date: November 9, 1971) NBC brought back Hayes and Natwick as The Snoop Sisters, a two-hour television film about two aged sisters who write mysteries as well as solve crimes.

This is based on a novel by Doris Miles Disney, whose book Family Skeleton became the 1950 movie Stella.

You can watch the movie on YouTube.

One thought on “Do Not Fold, Spindle or Mutilate (1971)

  1. Oh, my God! I remember watching this when I was just 13! A little gay kid who loved old movies and old lady movie stars. Thank you for bringing this back! It was NOT easy to be me back then and films like this were a big help, let me tell you!

    Liked by 1 person

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