April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama Primer: Chopping Mall (1986)

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on April 28 and 29, 2022.

The features for Friday, April 28 are Silent Night, Deadly NightChopping MallSlumber Party Massacre 2 and Sorority House Massacre.

Saturday, April 29 has ManiacManiac CopThe Toolbox Murders and Silent Madness.

Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $15 per person. You can buy tickets at the show or use these links:

Chopping Mall (1986): If you’re not from Pittsburgh, let me tell you about Century 3 Mall. At one point, it was the biggest, most modern mall in the area, dug into a former slag heap with 50 plus tons of concrete poured to ensure its three levels would stand. It had everything — Wicks ‘n’ Sticks, a food court, a cutlery store that sold throwing stars, a store called Heaven that had Japanese comic books and punk rock posters — even Richard Simmons showed up to precariously dangle from the third floor of the mall as everyone sweated to the oldies.

It was a magical time to be alive, but if you go to Century 3 Mall today, all that remains are 30 some odd stores from the heights that the mall had once reached —  five department stores and over 200 stores and services. It’s a sad blight today, with rainwater collecting in buckets all over the place, stained carpets and shuttered storefronts.

A sad Easter Bunny sits in what once was a bustling shopping center.

I tell you all of this to tell you that at one time, before the internet and social media, we went to the mall. My childhood mall was called Beaver Valley Mall and I remember our priest once yelling in a sermon that more kids thought BVM meant the mall than the name of our church — Purification Blessed Virgin Mary. This is also the same priest who told the story of the movie Alive once a month or so, with no meaning at the end, only discussing how they loved God, prayed and had to eat one another. This tale would always begin with, “The story is told…”

But I digress.

Chopping Mall is the second movie Jim Wynorski directed after The Lost Empire. Mentored by Roger Corman, it’s a cheap and quick little picture that still has moments of great entertainment quality. Kind of like a shopping mall.

Park Plaza Mall has had some theft issues, so they install the security team of the future: three robots programmed to take out thieves with tasers and tranquilizers. Of course, nothing could go wrong, right?

Rick (Russell Todd, Friday the 13th Part 2), Linda, Greg, Suzie (Barbara Crampton, We Are Still Here), Mike, Leslie, Ferdy and Allison (Kelli Maroney, Night of the Comet) have all stayed late after work and are partying in one of the furniture stores in the mall. These kids are super comfy with one another, because they’re basically soft swinging as they have sex on beds and couches right next to one another. Only Ferdy and Allison, the geeky kids, refuse to copulate.

Meanwhile, a lightning storm strikes the mall and reprograms the robots, which kill a technician (Gerrit Graham, Phantom of the ParadiseTerrorvision) and a janitor (Dick Miller, playing a character named Walter Paisley, a name he also used in A Bucket of BloodThe HowlingTwilight Zone: The Movie and Shake, Rattle and Rock!). Mike and Leslie are killed almost instantly, with her head blown to bits while the others all arm themselves with weapons to try and kill the robots.

Like Shakespeare, everyone dies…except for Ferdy and Allison. You’ll thrill to robots with treads rolling all over a mall, shooting lasers, beeping and booping and being like mini-RoboCops.

If the mall looks familiar, it’s because Commando, InnerspacePhantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge and Fast Times at Ridgemont High were also shot at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. It’s even mentioned in the song Valley Girl by Moon Unit Zappa! The exteriors in the movie are the Beverly Central Shopping Centre, where Scenes from a Mall was set (and Eraserhead was shot on the industrial wasteland that existed before the mall was built).

My favorite part of the entire movie is when the Blanks (Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov) show up, reprising their roles from Eating Raoul! It’s totally unexpected and such a weird left turn. It’s not like they’re well-known characters, but any time Bartel and Woronov — two of my favorites — show up in a film, I’m excited.

While this film was originally known as Killbots, that title failed at the box office and the movie was re-released months later with its new title, one suggested by a janitor!

Here’s a drink to go with this movie that comes from the mall:

Killer OJ (Orange Julius)

  • 2 oz. whipped or vanilla vodka
  • 1/2 oz. triple sec
  • 2/3 cup orange juice
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
  1. Mix all the ingredients in a shaker with ice.
  2. Shake it like you’re in a furniture bed surrounded by your friends, then pour over ice and enjoy.

APRIL MOVIE THON 2: Tubi Original: Riding With Sugar (2020)

April 24: Do You Like Tubi Originals? — I do. You should find one and write about it. Here’s a list to help.

Directed and written by Sunu Gonera, this is the story of Joshua (Charles Mnene) who dreams of a better life and tries to get there through BMX racing until his knee is destroyed. For some time, he lives in a shelter run by Mambo (Hakeem Kae-Kazim) before learning that it’s all a very Oliver Twist situation. He also falls for Olivia (Simona Brown), a dancer from a world of wealth that he has never known.

Made in Cape Town, South Africa, Riding With Sugar looks beautiful and has a story with plenty of heart, too. The idea that even a fellow refugee and a man who was once a professor in their home country of Zimbabwe could use Joshua makes this quite emotional. I really loved seeing a part of the world that is not well-represented in film and the use of color in this brings even more drama and power to an already strongly written and realized movie. It seems like it’s going to just be a crime movie from the way that it looks from the poster and description, but this film is about more than that.

You can watch this on Tubi.

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama Primer: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

April Ghouls Drive-In Monster-Rama is back at The Riverside Drive-In Theatre in Vandergrift, PA on April 28 and 29, 2022.

The features for Friday, April 28 are Silent Night, Deadly NightChopping MallSlumber Party Massacre 2 and Sorority House Massacre.

Saturday, April 29 has ManiacManiac CopThe Toolbox Murders and Silent Madness.

Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $15 per person. You can buy tickets at the show or use these links:

Silent Night, Deadly Nigh(1984): At one point in this movie, Santa Claus gets shoved down by Billy, our hero, and he yells, “What the hell is wrong with that kid?” And I yelled in defense, “Santa raped his mom, you fucking asshole!”

Merry Christmas, everyone, it’s time to descend into the absolute nadir of scummy movies and watch something that parents were right to worry about their kids watching.

Christmas 1971. Billy Chapman and his family go to see his grandfather in a nursing home. The silent, senile old man just sits there, but when Billy’s parents walk away, he tells him that he should be afraid when Santa comes, because he knows that Billy hasn’t been a good boy. On the way back, Billy’s parents slow down so he can see Santa walk along the road. Billy is already freaked out, but then Santa shoots Billy’s dad before raping and killing his mother — all while Billy and his infant brother Ricky watch.

Christmas 1974. Billy and Ricky celebrate in an orphanage. Well, there’s not much to celebrate. There’s non-stop punishment from Mother Superior and only Sister Margaret and Ricky are there to help Billy. Every holiday, our hero goes insane, drawing pictures of Santa killing his family and punching people dressed like Santa.

Christmas 1984. Sister Margaret gets Billy a job at a toy store, where things seem to be looking up. Billy even gets a love interest, Pamela, who he has wet dreams about that are interrupted by visions of Santa killing his family. Alright, I lied. Nothing is looking up, because Billy’s boss has a new job for him: he has to be Santa for Christmas Eve.

There’s a scene where Billy tells a young girl on his lap that he’s going to punish her — while two moms look on approvingly — that is total insanity. Sister Margaret calls while this is happening to see how Billy is doing, only to learn that he’s doing the one job he never should be doing.

There’s a party in the store and Billy leaves on the Santa suit. The owner tells Billy to keep on drinking and he’ll think he really is Santa Claus. Pamela leaves with Andy, the employee that always gives Andy a hard time. As Billy follows, he sees them making out, but soon Andy starts to rape his love interest. Billy responds in the way that any rational human being would: he hangs Andy with Christmas lights and stabs Pamela while describing how punishment is good.

Billy has followed his boss’ advice: time to do what Santa does on Christmas Eve. Billy’s version of Santa? His job is to kill. Billy lives up to that job description by killing his boss with a hammer and the store manager with a bow and arrow. Seriously, this movie has gone off the rails. Even scenes where people sing carols take on menace and dread.

Billy can’t stop his rampage now. He kills a young couple just for having sex, impaling the girl on a deer’s antlers and throwing the guy out the window. Talk about reindeer games! He then wakes up a little girl in the house and keeps asking her if she was naughty or nice. When she answers nice, he gives her a knife!

Don’t be a bully harassing sled riders in Billy’s neighborhood either, because he’ll chop your head right off.

Sister Margaret turns to the police, who rush to the orphanage. One of the cops screws up on arrival and kills a cop dressed as Santa right in front of a kid. Santa lives matter! He pays for his naughtiness by getting axed by Billy, who makes his way into the building to  confront Mother Superior. She taunts Billy, telling him she doesn’t believe in Santa. Billy goes to kill her and is shot by a cop. Sister Margaret is sad that Billy is dead and tenderly touches his face. Yep, a nun is sad that a serial killing Santa Claus has been stopped from killing another nun. Such is this movie.

Billy dies, but not before telling the kids “You’re safe now, Santa Claus is gone.” Ricky, his brother, looks at Mother Superior and says one word: naughty.

Ricky would return in Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 and Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out!  There were also two unconnected sequels, Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation and Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker, as well as 2012 remake, Silent Night.

Originally, this film was released by Tri-Star Pictures. But people weren’t ready for it. Maybe they’re never ready for it. Parents groups demanded that the film be removed from theaters and the ad campaign, which ran during family-friendly shows, scared the seasonal shit out of plenty of kids.

People even protested the film, standing outside and singing Christmas carols. This movie was the Crispus Attucks in the War on Christmas!

Silent Night, Deadly Night was later re-released by Aquarius Films, who obviously gave zero fucks. They’re the folks who re-released Cannibal Ferox with the amazing title Make Them Die Slowly and transformed Zombie Holocaust into Doctor Butcher, M.D.

Critics were…unkind to say the least. Gene Siskel read the names of the crew on At the Movies with Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert to shame them and the LA Times claimed the film was one of the worst of all time. Leonard Maltin also gave the film zero stars. Oh yeah? Bah humbug!

Silent Night, Deadly Night came from Charles Sellier, who also was responsible for TV’s The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, which was based on a book he wrote. According to Wikipedia, “Sellier was born as a Cajun Catholic, later converting to Mormonism and then to evangelical Christianity.” What is a Cajun Catholic?!?

Maybe this is why — other than this film — Sellier was known for creating family-friendly movies and shows with Christian themes, like In Search of Noah’s Ark and In Search of Historic Jesus. To be fair, he also produced some ridiculous conspiracy stuff like Chariots of the GodsBeyond and Back and 1980’s Hangar 18 (another TV commercial that gave me nightmares), as well as various apocalyptic, Da Vinci Code and far-right Christianity documentaries.

Sellier was a believer in market research and the master of four-walling, a practice where he rented out theaters and kept the profits for himself. This enabled him to, in the words of his IMDB bio, gain “the distinction of having more pictures in the Top 50 independent grossers than any other independent producer in the 1970s.” He also produced The Boogens! Man, I wish Charles Sellier was still alive so I could find out how he came to make a movie as blissfully batshit as this one!

Needless to say, I loved this movie. It’s a gutter crawling piece of pure garbage, perfect for my holiday season (or a night at the drive-in). I savored it by literally screaming my throat raw whilst dancing around my living room in pure holiday celebration!

APRIL MOVIE THON 2: Tubi Original: The Secrets of Christmas Revealed! (2021)

April 24: Do You Like Tubi Originals? — I do. You should find one and write about it. Here’s a list to help.

If you’ve watched any basic cable conspiracy or paranormal shows, you’re going to love this. It breaks down how Santa does everything he does as if it’s discussing the way the pyramids were built or how the Loch Ness Monster gets around.

From a Santa Zoom call with Santas all over the globe to a Mattel designer discussing how the toy company has a secret deal with the North Pole and an appearance by comic book artist Dean Haspiel, this may go on a bit too long, but when it works, it works. If you love Krampus, there’s plenty here about not just how they work together but what great friends they are.

Shout out to the Letterboxd reviewer who said, “So this movie is neoliberal propaganda.” Then, they went into how this movie is trying to normalize that by taking over Santa instead of just making him evil. I’m not sure if they’re kidding.

I watched this in April. That does not seem to be the time to watch anything cute about Christmas, but that’s the kind of writing I put out there, right?

You can watch this on Tubi.

APRIL MOVIE THON 2: Tubi Original: Queen of Cocaine (2023)

April 24: Do You Like Tubi Originals? — I do. You should find one and write about it. Here’s a list to help.

Griselda Blanco Restrepo was known as the Black Widow. She was a member of the Medellín Cartel and moved into power within the dangerous New York City cocaine game in the 1970s and her sons soon moved into the business. She fled to Columbia when nearly caught and then moved to Miami, where she was part of some of the most violent crime in the history of our country. In fact, she may be responsible for more murders than several serial killers put together.

Directed by Victoria Duley (Tubi originals Sins of the Father: The Green River Killer and Suburban Nightmare: The Mendenze Brothers; he also produced Gone Before Her Time: Brittany MurphyScariest Monsters In AmericaKilling Diana and several more Tubi originals) and writer Chip Selby (Branded & Brainwashed: Inside Nxivm), this has a lot of info in it, including an appearance by one of Blanco’s sons who was nearly killed by one of her commands. I’ve seen a lot of people complain that the narrator sounds like a voice from TikTok and not what you would expect from a bloody tale of the drug dealer who got Pablo Escobar started, but that’s what they decided on.

If you haven’t seen Cocaine Cowboys or any of the many documentaries about Miami’s drug scene, this would be a good start.

You can watch this on Tubi.

What’s On Shudder: May 2023

Here’s what’s playing on Shudder this month and next. Click on any title with a hyperlink to see our review.

May 1: High TensionInsideLividMartyrs

May 8: Darker than the NightPoison for the Faeries

May 12: Huesera: The Bone Woman: Valeria, a young woman expecting her first child, becomes cursed by a sinister entity. Plunged into a terrifying and dangerous world, a group of witches emerges as her only hope for safety and salvation, but not without grave risk.

May 15: The BabadookThe Devil’s Doorway

May 19: Consecration: After the suspicious death of her brother, a priest, Grace (Malone) goes to the Mount Saviour Convent in Scotland to find out what really happened with the help of Father Romero (Huston). But she soon comes to distrust the account of the Church as she uncovers murder, sacrilege, and a disturbing truth about her own shadowy past that brings long-buried trauma to the surface.

May 22: In Their Skin

May 26: Influencer: While struggling on a solo backpacking trip in Thailand, social media influencer Madison meets CW, who travels with ease and shows her a more uninhibited way of living. But CW’s interest in her takes a darker turn.

There are three Last Drive-In episodes coming:

May 5: Cinco de Mayo!

May 12: Mama’s Day!

May 19: Dysfunctional Family Jubilee!

There are also three episodes of Slasher and the Fangoria Chainsaw Awards.

Don’t have Shudder? Plans start at under $5 a month and you can get the first week free when you visit Shudder.

10TH ANNUAL OLD SCHOOL KUNG FU FEST: The Grand Passion (1970)

Lu Xiao-Ling (Polly Shan-kuan) and her brother Lu Liu (Pai Ying) are young rebels and part of the Southern Song Dynasty. Tasked with moving a document that will allow two allied armies to finally come together to defeat the despised Jin army that has occupied China, this film is about the clandestine meetings and secret paths that the two will undertake to save their homeland. Also, Lu Xiao-Ling has the wildest martial arts weapon ever: she can throw coins with deadly efficiency.

This week, I’ve touched on how it took King Hu years and years to make A Touch of Zen. In fact, it took so much time that assistant director Tu Chung-hsun made A City Called Dragon while the cast and crew was waiting. But it also took so long that Yang Shih-Ching also took the cast and crew to make this movie.  And when you have fights between Polly aand Pai Ying against Lung Fei, Shan Mao, Chang Yi kwai and Chen Shi Wei, well, the results won’t be boring.

Want to see it for yourself?

You can watch The Grand Passion Friday, April 28 at 7:15 PM

in Theater 1 at Metrograph and Subway Cinema in New York City. It’s part of the 10th Old School Kung Fu Fest: Sword Fighting Heroes Edition from April 21-30, 2023!

Tickets are on sale right here!

SALEM HORROR FEST: The Fog (1981)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This was originally on the site on April 21, 2018The Fog also played this weekend at Salem HorrorFest. You can still get a weekend pass for weekend one or weekend two. Single tickets are also available. Here’s the program of what’s playing.

As the town of Antonio Bay is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary, the stroke of midnight brings chaos. It all starts with an old sailor (John Houseman, in a scene shot after the initial filming was done to add more of an overall scary feel) freaking some kids out with the tale of the Elizabeth Dane. At the same time, Father Malone (Hal Holbrook, adding some star power) drunkenly finds his grandfather’s diary from a century ago, when the founders of the town deliberately sank and plundered a ship full of lepers in order to build the town and the church.

Things get even crazier when a fog rolls in, bringing back the ghost of the Elizabeth Dane and its crew members, who kill the entire ship full of men. And then there’s Nick Castle (Tom Atkins!), who finds a young hitchhiker named Elizabeth Solley (Jamie Lee Curtis!). And oh yeah, DJ Stevie Wayne (Adrienne Barbeau!) is given a piece of the Elizabeth Dane by her son. The entire town flips out overnight, with windows breaking, car alarms going off and dogs barking at the sea.

It doesn’t get any better the next day. The driftwood that Stevie was given mysteriously changes words from DANE to 6 MUST DIE and leaks all over her equipment, making a tape player read part of “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.”  Nick and Elizabeth seek out his missing fishermen friend and find the body of Nick Baxter with his eyes torn out. It gets worse. The corpse gets off a table and tries to attack her before carving out the number 3. And Kathy Williams (Jamie Lee’s mom Janet Leigh!) chooses to ignore the priest’s warnings that everyone is doomed while worrying about her husband being lost at sea.

Local weatherman Dan (Charles Cyphers from Halloween) has been flirting with Stevie the whole time, but he gets attacked by the fog in a scene that feels like it was lit by Mario Bava. And the fog rolls toward her and her home, where Nick saves her son at the last minute. Finally, the crew of the Elizabeth Dane comes into the town’s church, seeking the gold cross made from their stolen riches. Blake (special effects master Rob Bottin), their leader, grabs it as the crew disappears.

At the end, the priest wonders why they didn’t take him when they promised to kill six. He doesn’t wonder long as the fog rolls back in and he’s beheaded.

This was the first movie Carpenter would direct after Halloween and was inspired by The Trollenberg Terror, a movie where monsters hid in the cloud. It also had a real-life moment that spurred it forward — when promoting Assault on Precinct 13 with his then-girlfriend, producer Debra Hill, Carpenter noticed a strange fog move quickly past Stonehenge.

This was part one of Carpenter’s two-picture deal with AVCO-Embassy (Escape from New York would be the next movie) and was a low budget film with a $1 million dollar budget. That said, Carpenter and Dean Cundey shot it in the anamorphic 2.35:1 format, so it looks amazing. The scenery b-roll that plays as the fog grows closer looks otherworldly and anywhere but California. It’s gorgeous.

After viewing the rough cut, Carpenter felt that the film was terrible and didn’t work. He added the campfire scene at the beginning and several new scenes while reshooting others to be more horror and gore-filled. The budget only went up $100,000, but nearly one-third of the film was reshot.

The Fog is packed with references to other films. Charles Cyphers’ character is named for screenwriter Dan O’Bannon, who made Dark Star with Carpenter. Tom Atkins’ character, Nick Castle, is named for the actor who played Michael Myers in Halloween (he’d later co-write Escape from New York and direct The Last Starfighter), the babysitter’s name is taken from Richard Kobritz, the producer of Carpenter’s TV movie Someone’s Watching Me! And George “Buck” Flower plays Tommy Wallace, named for Carpenter’s art director and the future director of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch and the original It TV movie.

There’s more! John Houseman’s character is named after horror writer Arthur Machen, an Arkham Reef is mentioned as a shoutout to Lovecraft and the town’s coroner is Dr. Phibes. Bodega Bay, the setting of The Birds, is also mentioned.

There’s some great acting in here, particularly the speech Atkins gives about his father almost dying on the ocean. And Barbeau is great as she channels famous New York City DJ Alison Steele, The Nightbird. And Carpenter is in the film as the assistant Bennett who is named after a friend from USC, Bennett Tramer. If that name sounds familiar, Carpenter also used it for Laurie Strode’s potential love interest (and victim of mistaken identity in Halloween 2) Ben Tramer in Halloween. Even Stevie’s car is a reference to another film Carpenter loves: it’s a Volkswagen Thing (her last line, “Look for the fog,” echoes the last line in that movie’s “Watch the skies”).

At one point, John Carpenter mentioned creating an anthology series for TV that would have The Fog create supernatural events in other cities before connective ties to the original film would be shown. Sadly, this series never happened and in 2005, a remake was produced. The less said about that, the better.

EXPLORING: The movies that shaped The Misfits

Born in Lodi, New Jersey, The Misfits are a horror punk band that were originally around from only 1977 to 1982 — in their original incarnation — before years of legal battles and new lineups finally gave way to a series of reunions that began in 2016.

This article will, for the most part, concentrate of the music that came out of the classic 77-82 era and the lineup of vocalist, songwriter and occasional keyboardist Glenn Danzig; bassist Jerry Only; guitarist Doyle (well, Franché Coma and Bobby Steele were also around for a good chunk of this time) and a rotating cast of drummers that rivals Spinal Tap for frequency of members quitting, if not outright dying through misadventure.

Even the name of the band is a movie reference, as the last movie that a doomed Marilyn Monroe would make — Monroe and the end of the 60s Camelot are referred to in songs like “Who Killed Marilyn?” and “Bullet” — The Misfits, which is also the last film of Clark Gable.

Not all songs by the band are references to films — “She” has lyrics referring to Patty Hearst that shout “She walked out with empty arms, machine gun in her hand/She is good and she is bad, no one understands/She walked in silence, never spoke a word/She’s got a rich daddy, she’s her daddy’s girl” — but by and large, no band ever referred to more movies, much less genre movies, than The Misfits.

The Misfits mainly released singles for the start of their career, only releasing full albums late in their career before the original lineup split up in October 1983. As such, this list is in order of the singles and then EPs and albums. Feel free to correct any errors that show up.

Seeing as how we already covered “Cough/Cool” backed with “She,” let’s get into the “Bullet” 7-inch.

Bullet (1978): The first release from Glenn’s label Plan 9, which yes, is a reference to Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space, “Bullet” may be my current favorite Misfits song, but that changes nearly every day.

Plan 9 was a needed name change, as their label was originally called Blank Records. Months after the release of “Cough/Cool,” Mercury Records issued a Pere Ubu record on their own Blank Records label. unaware that a legally smart beyond his years Danzig held the trademark. They offered him thirty hours of studio time in exchange for the rights to the name, which he accepted and used the time to work toward tracks for the proposed Static Age album, which would not come out in its entirety until 1996.

“We Are 138” is another song that no one in the band can agree with Danzig on. Only and Steele mention that Danzig used to draw these androids with 138 on their foreheads and included these pictures in fan club materials. If anyone asked what it meant, it was supposed to be some secret that meant nothing. Or it was a reference to the movie THX-1138. As for Glenn, he said, “They didn’t write it and they don’t know what the fuck it’s about. It’s about violence.”

“Attitude” is straight-up rock and roll, getting covered years later by Guns ‘N Roses, while “Hollywood Babylon” is way too close to Kenneth Anger’s book title of the same name.

Horror Business (1979): “Horror Business”, “Teenagers from Mars” and “Children in Heat” appear on this 7-inch (well, 25 early copies have “Horror Business” on both sides) and there are plenty of movie references within. It’s also the first appearance of the band’s mascot, which was taken from the 1946 movie serial The Crimson Ghost. The back cover also has the band’s images along with Lon Chaney from The Phantom of the Opera.

“Horror Business” might be about Sid Vicious killing former girlfriend Nancy Spungen. On the evening of February 1, 1979, a small group of Vicious’s friends — including Jerry Only — celebrated him making bail. At the party, a detoxed Vicious was given heroin and overdosed that night and found by his mother the next morning. Only helped Beverley collect Vicious’s belongings and invited her to attend a Misfits recording session — at one point the band was to back him up on a solo record and one wonders how Glenn would have dealt with that — and one of the songs they recorded while they were there was this one, a song which has the lyrics “You don’t go in the bathroom with me” — Spungen was killed in a bathroom — and “I’ll stick a knife right in you.” That said, Glenn shouting “PSYCHO ’78!” might just be his way of saying that this is a song about Psycho and not anything in the news.

There are also tons of strange sounds and voices all over this track. Instead of paying to re-record it, the band claimed it was recorded in a haunted house. The Misfits had all sorts of urban legends written about them, such as how Ian MacKaye once said that he heard that the entire band were crippled and scarred maniacs who could only be released once a year to perform and always on Halloween (this makes some sense, as Bobby Steele had a minor case of spina bifida as a child, which forced him to wear a steel leg brace and walk with a cane).

“Teenagers from Mars” is obviously named after the 1959 science fiction movie Teenagers from Outer Space. “Children In Heat” isn’t about any movie, which is surprising.

Night of the Living Dead (1979): Obviously, The Misfits loved George Romero’s film and even used the logo from the movie. Glenn also includes a reference to his reading material in the lyrics “You think you’re a zombie, you think it’s a scene/from some monster magazine.”

“Where Eagles Dare” takes its name from the 1968 war movie and “Rat Fink” is the only cover the original Misfits lineup recorded. It’s originally an Allan Sherman song and yet is still credited to Danzig, who recorded “The Hunter” on Danzig 1 and took a writing credit, even though it was written by Steve Cropper, Donald “Duck” Dunn, Al Jackson Jr., Booker T. Jones and Carl Wells and originally performed by Albert King.

Beware (1980): First released in January 1980, this EP combined the Misfits’ previously released singles “Bullet” and “Horror Business” and was meant to be brought by the band to the UK for their abortive tour with The Damned. It also has the first release of “Last Caress,” a song whose lyrics are so rough that Only wouldn’t even perform it live after Danzig left.

3 Hits from Hell (1981): While “London Dungeon” is about Glenn and Bobby getting jailed after a fight with skinheads on The Damned tour, while “Horror Hotel” is the Americanized name of City of the Dead. Many claim that “Ghoul’s Night Out” is a reference to Ed Wood’s Night of the Ghouls, that movie was not released until 1984. Maybe Glenn was referring to reports of the film being made, but more likely people just saw an Ed Wood movie had a title close to this song and just assumed that it was based on that movie.

Halloween (1981): The first Misfits release to take the font from Famous Monsters of Filmland, “Halloween” has two versions of the song, “Halloween” and “Halloween II.” This has nothing to do with the John Carpenter movies, but instead Glenn’s memories of the holiday — “This day anything goes / Burning bodies hanging from poles / I remember Halloween” — while the other version is in Latin and says, “Ancient formulas of exorcisms and excommunications / that witches and those made wolves believe / I maim now the demon clothed in wolfskin / Having to hide in the hollow of a tree / I believe that they so can be changed.” Danzig’s next band, Samhain, would cover this song, if you can cover yourself.

Walk Among Us (1982): The first Misfits release I bought — on cassettete — Walk Among Us is the record that changed my life. How can someone turn wearing a Captain Harlock shirt and using the art from The Angry Red Planet and Earth vs. the Flying Saucers into a career? Well, The Misfits were doing it.

It was the first full-length album to be released by the band, even if it was the third to be recorded after Static Age and 12 Hits from Hell. Recorded between June 1981 and January 1982 in studio — other than “Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?” which was a live track.

“I Turned into a Martian” seems to reference the theme of so many movies of the 50s, like I Married a Martian or the Ray Bradbury story “Dark They Were And Golden Eyed.”

“All Hell Breaks Loose” references one of my favorite Hammer movies, Twins of Evil, and has one of the best Misfits lyrics: “I send my murdergram / To all these monster kids / It comes right back to me and it’s / Signed in there parents’ blood.”

“Vampira” is all about Maila Nurmi, the KABC-TV horror hostess who also appears in Plan 9 From Outer Space. “Hey! Black dress moves in a blue movie / Graverobbers from outer space / Well, your pulmonary trembles in your outstretched arm / Tremble so wicked! Two-inch nails! Micro waist! With a pale white feline face / Inclination eyebrows to there.” pretty much tells you that this is all about the horror icon.

How happy do you think Glenn was in these photos?

The Damned also released “Plan 9, Channel 7” and Vampira herself released two seven-inches with the band Satan’s Cheerleaders, “I Am Damned” and “Genocide Utopia.”

Astro Zombies” is based on the Tura Satana and John Carradine-starring film, and has equally evocative words in it: “With just a touch of my burning hand / I’m gonna live my life to destroy your world / Prime directive, exterminate  / The whole fuckin’ race.”

“Violent World” either comes from a magazine that used to show death scene photos, but “Skulls” comes right from Glenn’s brain, a singalong song about murder and loving every minute of it.

Glenn may have taken “Braineaters” from The Brain Eater, as the idea that zombies eat brains did not arrive until Return of the Living Dead in 1985. It is the only music video the band ever did and was given to their friends.

Evilive (1982): In just 13 minutes, the band tears through “20 Eyes,” “Night of the Living Dead,” “Astro Zombies,” “Horror Business” and “London Dungeon” from a December 17, 1981 show at The Ritz in New York City and “All Hell Breaks Loose” and “We Are 138” from a November 20, 1981 performance at On Broadway in San Francisco.

In case you wondered, the album art is based on the poster for the 1957 movie The Undead.

Earth A.D./Wolfs Blood (1983): By 1983, Danzig was aleady planning his next band, the slowed down goth darkness that is Samhain, with the songs “Bloodfeast” (which could reference either the 1963 Herschell Gordown Lewis Blood Feast or the alternate title for Silent Night Bloody Night) and “Death Comes Ripping” meant for that band.

What emerges is less of the singalong sound of the band and more of a move to a hardcore sound. “Earth A.D.” slams out of the start of the album — is the reference to every horror movie adding an AD in the late 60s and early 70s, like Dracula A.D. 1972 and Daleks – Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D. — and even has the lyric “you bet you’re life because the hills have eyes.”

“Queen Wasp” could have come from the movie Queen Wasp or The Wasp Woman, while “Devilock” is a reference to the band’s haircuts.  “Green Hell” is a reference to either The Monster from Green Hell or the film Green Hell. That song and “Last Caress” were the gateway for a lot of new fans, as Metallica covered them on their The $5.98 E.P. – Garage Days Re-Revisited. The Misfits got tons of new fans from the band, as they often wore their shirts on stage.

“Wolfs Blood,”  “Demonomania” and “Hellhound” may be horror in theme, but don’t reference any movies.

Die! Die! My Darling! (1984): Released seven months after the band broke up, this single contains the song “ie! Die! My Darling!,” which takes its title from the Hammer movie Fanatic, which took on that title when released in the U.S. The front cover is a complete ripoff of Chamber of Chills #19 — ask Glenn where he got the Danzig skull someday — and it has a great Pushead back cover. There’s also the lyric, “Your future’s in an oblong box,” which one assumes refers to The Oblong Box.

“We Bite” is a straight-up angry horror punk song, while “Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?” is a direct reference to the poster for the 1966 Amicus movie The Psychopath. 

Legacy of Brutality (1985): This compilation album  contains overdubbed mixes of previously unreleased songs, mainly from the January–February 1978 Static Age sessions.

“Static Age” doesn’t have any references, but “TV Casualty” is filled with references to 70s syndicated TV, including “i wish they’d put prince namor on the tube” (the 1966 Sub-Mariner animated show) and samples of NYC Channel 11 playing Star Trek and Channel 5’s repeat of I Love Lucy.

“Hybrid Moments” may be amongst the band’s finest songs, yet I can’t find any references, nor in “Spinal Remains,” “Come Back,” “Some Kinda Hate,”” Theme for a Jackal,” “Angelfuck” or “American Nightmare,” as by the time Glenn fully embraced Samhain, there was no more time for singing about 50s monster kid movies.

Then — yearrs of litigation over who owned the band’s name, Danzig playing in Samhain and his own self-named band, Doyle and Jerry — taking on the name Mocavious Kryst — playing in a band called Kryst the Conquerer with Yngwie Malmsteen singer Jeff Scott Soto and attempting to release music that was the opposite of the “Satanic, evil and possibly damaging to impressionable youths” songs of Samhain and Danzig. Once Jerry and Doyle reached an out of court settlement with Glenn, they became The Misfits and redid these songs.

The revised Misfits line-up of Jerry, Doyle, Dr. Chud and Michale Graves went the opposite direction of Glenn’s Lucifugian left hand path and released this album, which references American PsychoThe Abominable Dr. PhibesThis Island EarthThe Crimson GhostDay of the DeadThe HauntingMars AttacksPoltergeist, the Outer Limits episode “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” and Hell Night, while a music video for “Dig Up Her Bones” that had clips from Bride of Frankenstein, which the band wrote about in “Hate the Living, Love the Dead.”

The difference with the new line-up was that while classic Misfits songs had references, these songs were outright completely based on movies. trying to follow the success of what Glenn once wrote about. Then again, he never had the budget to get Famous Monsters cover artist Basil Gogos to paint the album cover.

I Wanna Be a New York Ranger (1998): A hidden fact about the original band is that while Glenn is a short — and later muscular — comic book fan, Jerry and Doyle were football stars in their high school who loved Van Halen. As such, there’s no way that Danzig would have approved of their sports song “I Wanna Be a NY Ranger,” which they released as a single written by John Cafiero, who directed the music videos for “American Psycho” and “Dig Up Her Bones.” It’s basically the song “Airborne Ranger” and was intended for The Ramones, who broke up before they would perform it. Graves is not on the single version; that’s Cafiero singing. This song is also 1:38 long, which I’m still laughing about.

Famous Monsters (1999): The last album with this line-up,  Famous Monsters keeps going for the easy reference game by directly calling out the Forrest Ackerman magazine. Songs include “Kong at the Gates”  and “Kong Unleashed,” (King Kong and the entrance music for WCW wrestler Vampiro, who The Misfits used to come to the ring with; the band even wrestled a few matches) “The Forbidden Zone,” (Planet of the Apes) “Lost in Space,” (you tell me, right?) “Crawling Eye,” (based on The Trollenberg Terror) “Pumpkin Head,” (were they even trying?), “Die Monster Die” (Die Monster Die), “Them,” (Them!), “Helena” and “Helena 2,” (Boxing Helena) and “Devil Doll” (Devil Doll).

The song “Scream” was written in a parking lot in Seattle while the Misfits were on tour, as the band had learned that director Wes Craven was interested in using Misfits songs for his film Wishmaster. Instead, they wrote this for Scream 2 and it was not used. It does have a music video directed by George Romero, though! Romero was in Toronto filming Bruiser and needed a band to perform during the film’s final murder scene. The Misfits agreed to perform in the film and to record two songs for the soundtrack — “Fiend Without a Face” and “Bruiser” — if Romero directed their video. In the liner notes for Cuts from the Crypt, Only states, “It was an even trade, we shook hands and the deal was done. Business complications soon followed and I became very unhappy with my record label and my publishing company.” Of the stuff that the late Misfits line-up did, this video is probably the most fun, as it has them as zombies in a video directed by, you know, the king of zombie movies.

There’s also the Psycho in the Wax Museum EP, an Evilive 2 album with this line-up that has Graves performing some Danzig-era songs, and Cuts from the Crypt, which has different versions and unreleased songs like the aforementioned soundtrack songs from Bruiser.

Following Project 1950, the first Misfits album with Jerry singing, there would be another Misfits line-up, this time featuring Dez Cadena and Eric “Chupacabra” Arce.

Devil’s Rain! (2013): In 2009, The Misfits released a song called “Land of the Dead” which had the line-up of Jerry, Dez and former Misfits drummer Robo. The two songs from that release — which also has cover art by Marvel Zombies artist Arthur Suydam — were “Land of the Dead” and “Twilight of the Dead” and yes, they both reference Romero’s Land of the Dead.

Those songs also appear on this album with songs that namecheck The Devil’s Rain!The Black HoleThe Mummy’s HandGhost of Frankenstein and Dark Shadows, while “Vivid Red” is inspired by Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Only’s son, Jerry Caiafa II — also billed as Jerry Other — is also on the album.

Where The Misfits were once a band that scared the hell out of people, now they were happy goofballs out to put on a show. I mean, could you see Glenn singing “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” “Monster Mash” or “The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati?”

Friday the 13th (2016): Jerry Only, Jerry Other and Eric “Chupacabra” Arce put out this slasher influenced album on Misfits Records with songs about Friday the 13thA Nightmare On Elm Street and Mad Monster Party.

All is well that ends well, though, as there’s now a classic Misfits line-up of Danzig, Only, Doyle, the best drummer ever Dave Lombardo and guitarist Acey Slade that are playing live shows, but never seemingly recording anything new.

In 2016, Doyle told Rolling Stone, “Eventually Doyle’s got to write a new album; I’ve got to write a new album; Glenn’s got to write a new album. Why don’t we work together and make the greatest album ever? Now we’ve got different elements. We’ve got Doyle playing more of a metal kind of thing. We’ve got Dave, who we’re trying to figure out what the fuck he’s doing. And Glenn’s got his own thing. And Acey (Slade, second guitar) fills in good, too. And I’ve got the band where it is today. So it’s a matter of re-molding and using all the different elements that I’ve got.”

The band has also appeared in the following movies: Animal RoomBig Money Hustlas, Campfire Stories and Bruiser, while Glenn appeared in The Prophecy II and directed Death Rider and Verotika.

Thanks for reading through this. Obviously, I love The Misfits and their appreciation for movies made me seek out stuff I may have never seen. Are there any references I missed?

References:

Wikipedia: The Misfits.

Song Meanings: The Misfits.

Letterboxd. Songs inspired by The Misfits.

Misfits Central. Song and name information.

Perfect Sound Forever. The Misfits Guide to Film.

Revision 1:

I forgot that there was a track “Mephisto Waltz” on Collection 2. It’s based on the movie The Mephisto Waltz and may have Samhain/Danzig bassist Eerie Von playing on it.

And oh yeah…

Static Age (recorded 1978, released in 1996): This has Return of the Fly, which is basically Glenn saying the credits of the movie. Really. “Return of the Fly, Return of the Fly/With Vincent Price/Helen Delambre, Helen Delambre/François, François/Cecile, Cecile.” This album was on The Misfits Box Set but a lot of it was also in Legacy of Brutality.

APRIL MOVIE THON 2: Dogs of Hell (1983)

April 23: Regional Horror — A regional horror movie. Here’s a list if you need an idea.

I’m so obsessed and delighted by the movies of Earl Owensby, who produced 18 movies with his own studio, including the Elvis death cash-in starring his last girlfriend Ginger Alden Living Legend: The King of Rock and Roll, Christian slasher — yes, really — Day of Judgement, the anthology with a doubled up title Tales of the Third Dimension in 3-D and religious retribution movie Dark Sunday. Man, he even made Lady Gray, a movie with David Allen Coe as the star. He even loaned out his studio to other films, like The Order of the Black Eagle and The Abyss. He also had that Cannon idea down before they did: his E.O. Studios’ success was due to never spending more than a million dollars on a movie and never signing a distribution deal that made him less than eight million in profit.

Owensby made movies in Shelby, North Carolina and they played drive-ins in towns just like it. He knew his audience and what they wanted. And for this, well, they wanted 3-D dogs.

Also known as Rottweiler 3-D, this was the first of six movies from E.O. Studios that required special glasses to watch. The others — in case you’re like me and want to watch all of them — are Hot Heir, Chain GangHyperspaceHit the Road Running and Tales of the Third Dimension in 3-D.

Director Worth Keeter also made several movies for Owensby — how many times can I say Tales of the Third Dimension in 3-D in this — and went on to direct episodes of Power Rangers and Silk Stalkings. And the aforementioned The Order of the Black Eagle plus Sybil Danning in L.A. Bounty. Writer Thom McIntyre directed, well, you guessed it, Tales of the Third Dimension in 3-D, and wrote several of Owensby’s other movies under names like Lynelle Grey and Grey Lynellee.

Up at Fort Bragg, the military is trying to replace soldiers with dogs. As you can imagine, things get out of control. This is a welcome event, as the town of Lake Lure isn’t the most exciting place to be. Owensby plays the sheriff; the town has a vibrant mud wrestling scene; somehow fashion models show up there and get torn to pieces in the woods in 3-D by the dogs.

Released months after Cujo — that’s how you do it! — this has a dog’s head blow up real good, an effect created by Fred Olen Ray. I mean, the dogs are driven insane by the military-industrial complex, but I do hate to see dogs be the victims in movies.

I have no idea why Earl Owensby’s movies aren’t more available. Let’s make that happen, boutique labels.

You can download this from the Internet Archive.