EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie was watched as part of Salem Horror Fest. You can still get a weekend pass for weekend two. Single tickets are also available. Here’s the program of what’s playing.
Juraj Herz is most often associated with the Czechoslovak New Wave and his 1969 film The Cremator. A Holocaust survivor who had sixty of his family die in the camps, he was a self-taught director who gravitated toward horror while also keeping his eye toward fairy tales. He commented once that dark humor was a form of expression and he believed that even serious films should be laughed at.
Based on Alexander Grin’s Jessie and Morgiana, this film explores the hatred between two sisters, Klara and Viktoria, both played by Iva Janžurová. Yes, their father may have given all of his fortune to Klara, but Viktoria is left with a small castle of her own. But the final push toward the overwhelming resentment Viktoria feels is when her sister falls for the man she loves, Lieutenant Marek.
That’s when she begins to work alongside Otylie, a gypsy sorceress, to create a poison that no one will ever discover has killed her sister. As Klara grows ill, Otylie takes advantage and begins to blackmail Viktoria, who responds by literally casting her into the sea.
And while Klara is always clad in white and seemingly the damsel in distress, her sister is forever in black but worse, unable to escape not only the guilt and shame, but even the ghost of Otylie who will never leave her even in death.
So who is Morgiana? Why, she’s the cat. A cat so essential that she has her own point of view shots throughout the film.
The write-up for this film promises that the poison given to Klara open her mind to “kaleidoscopic hallucinations” and that is, if anything, less hyperbole than it should be. This movie practically explodes and delivers a cosmic freakout filled with ancient Tarot cards, distorted lenses and a deluge of only the fanciest of clothes (the hat budget on this movie had to be excessive), the most extravagant of makeup and filled with sonic fury, delivered by Lubos Fiser, who also composed the music for Valerie and Her Week of Wonders.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie was watched as part of Salem Horror Fest. You can still get a weekend pass for weekend two. Single tickets are also available. Here’s the program of what’s playing.
Deváté srdce is about a student named Martin who has volunteered to seek out the cure for Princess Adriana, who has been knocked down and out by a mysterious illness. But the truth is that it’s no sickness. Instead, the magician Andlobrandini has enchanted her as part of his plan which involves creating a magic potion to return his youth from the blood of nine children’s hearts.
Directed by Juraj Herz, who wrote the story with Josef Hanzlík, everything in this feels handmade, down to the poster by surrealist painter, writer and ceramicist Eva Švankmajerová. This was shot at the same time as Herz’s Beauty and the Beast in an attempt to save on costs and is a fairy tale created in modern times that in no way feels unlike the tales we were told at bedtime.
By literally capturing the young hearts of the young men who have come to save Adrianna, Andlobrandini seeks to take their vitality and become hale and hearty anew. Unlike them, Martin has no love for the princess. Instead, the Grand Duke (Premysi Koci) allows him to take on this mission instead of sending him and the street circus people he has fallen in with to jail, most especially Toncka (Anna Malova), the daughter of a puppeteer.
Joined by the Grand Duke’s jester (František Filipovský) and wearing a cloak of invisibility, the two men go across the River Styx to the Grand Duke’s former alchemist’s — yes, Andlobrandini — dark and foreboding castle, a place filled with corpses, innumerable candles, a swinging sun and danger around every turn. It’s gorgeous and perhaps the greatest love within this film is for the art of moviemaking itself.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie was watched as part of Salem Horror Fest. You can still get a weekend pass for weekend two. Single tickets are also available. Here’s the program of what’s playing.
Dan (Max Woertendyke) and Jen (Dana Berger) are in the type of relationship where you start to wonder what it would be like without the other person. He’s embarrassed her yet again and as she runs to clear her head, he tries to follow her. The only problem? It feels like they keep going around again and again, around the same path, going through the same motions, the paranormal version of what it’s like to be with each other.
They’re not alone, as the trail around the pond has others who are trapped and doomed to wander in circles as well. Can they escape?
Based on director and writer Dane Elcar’s short film The Pond, this is a dark story that progressively gets grimmer. Some couples are like that, endlessly going through the motion, one trying to stay ahead of the other, both realizing that they are locked into this endlessly repeating unreality.
If you think your relationship is bad, imagine being forced to stay within the same time and place as your partner in a never stopping loop.
This film is big on ideas and low on budget, but when is that a problem?
Two decades after a tragedy with her sister, Šarlota — pronounced Charlotta — comes back to her remote mountain hometown in Slovakia to claim an inheritance left by her dead mother. Yet when she gets there, her mother’s house has burned to the ground. Staying in her former neighbor’s abandoned cabin — rumored to have been a witch’s house — Šarlota remembers the misogyny, patriarchy and superstition that she had left. As she approaches a herbalist named Mira, the locals believe Šarlota must also be a witch.
A deserved winner of the Best Picture in the Cineasti del Presente Competition at the Locarno Film Festival, director Tereza Nvotová has made a movie that looks absolutely gorgeous and from another world. The witch sabbath scene in this is incredibly evocative and blew me away.
We live in a world that fears what it does not understand and seeks to hold back things of beauty and passion. These issues exist from big cities to small towns and everywhere in between; things are sliding back into a world where women no longer even have autonomy over their own bodies. Nightsiren presents a place where the power within women is challenged by old beliefs and an even older guard.
I saw this as part of the Calgary Underground Film Festival, which for twenty years has been dedicated to elevating Calgary’s cultural landscape with the best in international independent cinema. Recently, CUFF was named one of the Best Horror Festivals in the World, 2022 by Dread Central, and one of the World’s 50 Best Genre Festivals and one of 50 Film Festivals Worth the Entry Fee in 2021 by MovieMaker Magazine. CUFF continues to attract audiences with its programming of films that engage audiences and defy convention.
It’s running from now until April 30 and you can see the entire schedule here.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie was watched as part of Salem Horror Fest. You can still get a weekend pass for weekend two. Single tickets are also available. Here’s the program of what’s playing.
Based on true events — when has a movie ever lied to you, this one claims that something much like this happened in 1997 in a Brisbane, Australia recording studio — Bliss of Evil is about the band Prom Night as they practice at Elephant Studios. It’s a family-owned studio, with Uncle Michael (Wayne Bassett) as the boss and Isla (Sharnee Tones) as the recording engineer.
She’s also the girlfriend of the band’s leader Nic (Shanay De Marco). The band has a new guitarist named Lee (Jordan Schulte) as well as bassist Roy (Brendan R Burman-Bellenger) and drummer Rhea (Emily Rowbottom). Hey — they even have a groupie named Courtney (Chenaya Aston).
Things seem to be going fine. But then, why are they in a horror movie, right?
Then Lee kicks this movie into horror business by asking to play the band’s song “Bliss of Evil.” This causes Isla to freak out and undergo a panic attack, but she tells everyone that she can handle it. Obviously, there’s some trauma behind the music.
Enter Bloodface (Corrie Hinschen).
Directed by Josh Morris, who wrote it with Connie Hinschen, this is a movie long on both style and substance. Everything seems filled with dread from the very open, as we see the studio and everything in it covered in blood. We know something horrible is going to happen. We don’t know what, but that worry permeates every second.
Soon, everyone is locked inside with that killer. He just might be the dead guitarist of Prom Night — and the reason why Isla is so filled with nerves and trauma — and maybe, just maybe, this night of bloody horror means something to Isla more than it all seems.
I liked that the kills stay off-screen and that Morris made something pretty stylish for the budget and two weeks or less of shooting time. It’s definitely different than your typical by the numbers slasher.
April 24: Do You Like Tubi Originals? — I do. You should find one and write about it. Here’s a list to help.
I feel like I’ve watched everything there is to watch about Keith Raniere and Nvixm, yet here’s another documentary about how a self-help multi-level marketing company suddenly started branding women, destroying lives and getting involved in human trafficking.
If you’ve seen as many of these as I have had to sit through — I adore my wife but my life is mostly Dateline and 48 Hours day in, day out — then you will know that somehow, really attractive women somehow fell for Keith and wanted to have him neg them and teach them the joys of volleyball. Hollywood actress women. Normal women. Business women. A lot of women.
That wasn’t enough for Keith, who should have realized he was doing pretty good, and he still wanted more, liek scamming the Dalai Lama and to have women brand his initials on their hips.
Keith even said, “I’ve had people killed because of my beliefs” and several of his ex-girlfriends have disappeared, died from being shot in the head or cancer that was later found to perhaps be poisoning.
If you’ve seen The Vow and all the other shows, you’ll learn the same information here. But aren’t we all true crime maniacs by now? If you have more of that sweet sleaze reality narcotic high, well, here it is.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This was posted on January 16, 2023 but I want to call attention to the new mass market, non-slipcase release of this movie. You can get it from MVD.
Maurizio Merli is, for me, the face of poliziotteschi, taking on a similar role as Clint Eastwood as a judge, jury and executioner of criminals that lives by his own strict code and must follow it, no matter how much it destroys his life. Whether he’s Commissario Betti in Violent Rome, Violent Naples and Special Cop in Action or Inspector Leonardo Tanzi in The Tough Ones and The Cynic, The Rat and The Fist or out of the badge roles in Mannaja and Highway Racer, Merli comes across as a man of action and principle.
In Convoy Busters, he plays Inspector Olmi, a rough cop who uses brutish methods to discover who killed a young girl with a professional-looking slash to the throat and dumped her in the river. His case leads him to the highest chambers of the corrupt Rome government, which outs him in the crosshairs of those officials, organized crime and the media. An attempt to take him out leads to the death of an innocent bystander, which is enough for the powers that be to send him away to a small fishing town and out of their lives.
Olmi, of course, can’t shut off his need to be a cop and soon discovers that there’s a smuggling operation going down right in his new home. That’s when the real title of this movie — Un Poliziotto Scomodo (An Uncontrolled Cop) — makes more sense, but one assumes that Convoy was a big deal in 1978 and if it got more people to see this movie, then that’s the name in foreign markets.
There’s a great brawl in a bar, a helicopter chase and plenty of great scenery between the two halves of this story, which nearly feel like they give you two films. The beginning, as the girl is taken from the water, feels almost giallo.
The Cauldron Films blu ray of Convoy Busters features a 2K restoration from the original camera negative with both English and Italian audio options as well as new featurettes like Maurizio Merli: A Lethal Hunter of Subtle Variation with tough-guy film expert Mike Malloy and interviews with Maurizio Matteo Merli and Danilo Massi, who also has a Stelvio Massi video tribute. Archival extras include the alternate Convoy Busters, interviews with journalist Eolo Capacci, Ruggero Deodato, Enzo G Castellari , Maurizio Matteo and Enio Girolami, plus an image gallery, trailer and a poster, all inside a gorgeous slipcase with artwork by Haunt Love. Get it from MVD.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This was originally on the site on December 27, 2022. It’s back because Cauldron has re-released — this is the mass market version without slipcase — an absolutely stunning version of it on blu ray featuring a 2K restoration from the negative, both English and Italian audio options, CD soundtrack with music from Bruno Nicolai, and brand new extras including an interview with Master Katsutoshi Mikuriya, a visual essay by film historian Eric Zaldivar, commentary with film historian Mike Hauss from The Spaghetti Western Digest, a trailer, poster and high-quality slipcase. You get buy it from MVD.
According to the Spaghetti Western Database, lead actor Chen Lee may have been a Japanese karate instructor, but according to director Mario Caiano (Eye In the Labyrinth), he worked in a laundry, not in a dojo, and was picked because he looked like a young Dustin Hoffman. Some think his real name was Mioshini Hayakawa, which is Japanese, not Chinese. That said, if that being racist — not knowing the difference between two countries nearly 1,900 miles away from one another — then this movie is not for you.
Seriously, nearly every race gets denigrated in this movie audibly and physically. Luckily, Shanghai Joe ends up killing every single offender.
Shanghai — or Chin Hao — has come to this country and instead of finding whatever it is he’s looking for — he has tattoos much like Kwai Chang Caine — he’s found that aforementioned racism and a love interest in Cristina (Carla Romanelli, Fenomenal and the Treasure of Tutankamen, The Lonely Lady).
Our hero’s skills as a fighting man make their way to cattle rancher Stanley Spencer (Piero Lulli, Kill, Baby…Kill!), who is really enslaving Mexicans to do his work. That means that the bad guys decide to kill him, but none of them can get it done.
Spencer ends up hiring four different killers, much like video game bosses, to do his work for him. There’s Tricky the Gambler (Giacomo Rossi Stuart, The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave), Pedro the Cannibal (Robert Hundar, Sabata), Buryin’ Sam (Gordon Mitchell, who improvised and sang the song “Chin-Chin Chinaman” while carrying a shovel to try to kill Shanghai) and Scalper Jack (an astonishing Klaus Kinski, who is obsessed with hair and you genuinely fear for the life of Romanelli in their scene).
Finally, Mikuja, the only person who has the same martial arts technique and tattoo as our hero, is hired to kill him. Their battle may not be a fight on the order of a Shaw Brothers technical battle, but it’s still fun.
This movie is incredibly strange, because every time I thought it was going to be normal, it would go from slapstick to our hero plucking out a bad guy’s eye and blood spraying all over the place. It’s closer to a horror film set in the West with martial arts than a straight-up Italian Western, but it’s better for that difference.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This was originally on the site on September 12, 2021 and has been reposted as Radiance Films has released it on blu ray. The limited special edition of 2,000 copies has a 2K restoration of the film from the original negative, presented in the original 1.33:1 and an alternate 1.85:1 widescreen presentation, as well as newly filmed interviews with academic and Italian cinema expert Richard Dyer and academic and screenwriter Giacomo Scarpelli; archival interviews with cinematographer Luciano Tovoli and Jean-Louis Trintignant; a trailer; a reversible sleeve featuring designs based on original posters and a limited edition 24-page booklet featuring new writing on the film by Mariangela Sansone and a reprint of an archival piece on the film. You can get it from MVD.
“The police have the victim, the weapon and the suspect. What they don’t have is the Sunday Woman.” You know that a movie is high class when Marcello Mastroianni plays the investigator and it’s based on a book that’s listed as one of the first examples of modern Italian crime novels.
Commissioner Santamaria (Mastroianni) is on the case of Garrone, an architect who was playing an intellectual game of murder within a series of letters to his friend Massimo Campi (Jean-Louis Trintignant). While investigating, Satanamaria falls for one of the suspects, Anna Carla Dosio. Can we blame him when she’s played by Jacqueline Bisset?
It seems that Garrone has been killed for his blackmailing, but now that Campi’s boyfriend Lello has also been killed — amongst others — the plot is thickening.
Luigi Comencini is usually the director of more high brow things than we cover here. But hey — there’s a Morricone soundtrack to tether us to the tenuous connections to the giallo genre that we hold so dear. I guess I shouldn’t say too high brow, as after all the main victim is murdered with a stone penis, so there’s that.
Admission is still only $15 per person each night (children 12 and under free with adult) and overnight camping is available (breakfast included) for an additional $15 per person. You can buy tickets at the show or use these links:
Chopping Mall (1986): If you’re not from Pittsburgh, let me tell you about Century 3 Mall. At one point, it was the biggest, most modern mall in the area, dug into a former slag heap with 50 plus tons of concrete poured to ensure its three levels would stand. It had everything — Wicks ‘n’ Sticks, a food court, a cutlery store that sold throwing stars, a store called Heaven that had Japanese comic books and punk rock posters — even Richard Simmons showed up to precariously dangle from the third floor of the mall as everyone sweated to the oldies.
It was a magical time to be alive, but if you go to Century 3 Mall today, all that remains are 30 some odd stores from the heights that the mall had once reached — five department stores and over 200 stores and services. It’s a sad blight today, with rainwater collecting in buckets all over the place, stained carpets and shuttered storefronts.
A sad Easter Bunny sits in what once was a bustling shopping center.
I tell you all of this to tell you that at one time, before the internet and social media, we went to the mall. My childhood mall was called Beaver Valley Mall and I remember our priest once yelling in a sermon that more kids thought BVM meant the mall than the name of our church — Purification Blessed Virgin Mary. This is also the same priest who told the story of the movie Alive once a month or so, with no meaning at the end, only discussing how they loved God, prayed and had to eat one another. This tale would always begin with, “The story is told…”
But I digress.
Chopping Mall is the second movie Jim Wynorski directed after The Lost Empire. Mentored by Roger Corman, it’s a cheap and quick little picture that still has moments of great entertainment quality. Kind of like a shopping mall.
Park Plaza Mall has had some theft issues, so they install the security team of the future: three robots programmed to take out thieves with tasers and tranquilizers. Of course, nothing could go wrong, right?
Rick (Russell Todd, Friday the 13th Part 2), Linda, Greg, Suzie (Barbara Crampton, We Are Still Here), Mike, Leslie, Ferdy and Allison (Kelli Maroney, Night of the Comet) have all stayed late after work and are partying in one of the furniture stores in the mall. These kids are super comfy with one another, because they’re basically soft swinging as they have sex on beds and couches right next to one another. Only Ferdy and Allison, the geeky kids, refuse to copulate.
Meanwhile, a lightning storm strikes the mall and reprograms the robots, which kill a technician (Gerrit Graham, Phantom of the Paradise, Terrorvision) and a janitor (Dick Miller, playing a character named Walter Paisley, a name he also used in A Bucket of Blood, The Howling, Twilight Zone: The Movie and Shake, Rattle and Rock!). Mike and Leslie are killed almost instantly, with her head blown to bits while the others all arm themselves with weapons to try and kill the robots.
Like Shakespeare, everyone dies…except for Ferdy and Allison. You’ll thrill to robots with treads rolling all over a mall, shooting lasers, beeping and booping and being like mini-RoboCops.
If the mall looks familiar, it’s because Commando, Innerspace, Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge and Fast Times at Ridgemont Highwere also shot at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. It’s even mentioned in the song Valley Girl by Moon Unit Zappa! The exteriors in the movie are the Beverly Central Shopping Centre, where Scenes from a Mall was set (and Eraserhead was shot on the industrial wasteland that existed before the mall was built).
My favorite part of the entire movie is when the Blanks (Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov) show up, reprising their roles from Eating Raoul! It’s totally unexpected and such a weird left turn. It’s not like they’re well-known characters, but any time Bartel and Woronov — two of my favorites — show up in a film, I’m excited.
While this film was originally known as Killbots, that title failed at the box office and the movie was re-released months later with its new title, one suggested by a janitor!
Here’s a drink to go with this movie that comes from the mall:
Killer OJ (Orange Julius)
2 oz. whipped or vanilla vodka
1/2 oz. triple sec
2/3 cup orange juice
1/3 cup milk
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
Mix all the ingredients in a shaker with ice.
Shake it like you’re in a furniture bed surrounded by your friends, then pour over ice and enjoy.
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