This movie failed at the box office and nearly ruined the career of John Carpenter. Think of that as you watch it. But did it really fail? It made nearly $20 million on a $15 million budget, but audiences must have expected more. Studios certainly did.

Was it because E.T. came out at the same time, as well as so many other science fiction and fantasy films? Did the recession make people not want to watch something so nihilistic? Did the sheer level of gore turn people off? Were people upset that he remade a film some considered a classic*?

After one market research screening, Carpenter asked the audience what they thought. One answered, “Well what happened in the very end? Which one was the Thing…?” When Carpenter said that the answer was up to their imagination, the response was, “Oh, God. I hate that.”

How could audiences respond to a movie that did not spoon feed them any of the story beats? That doesn’t have a single character to root for or get behind? That is influenced by Lovecraft — as our the other Apocalypse Trilogy installments Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness — in that ordinary people face off with supernatural horror that they are doomed to be destroyed by, which isn’t really what mainstream America wants from a popcorn film?

Yeah, it could be all of those things. Or perhaps, the world was not ready for it. But watching the end of this film, as everyone sits around wondering who has a disease that they can barely understand and know will eventually impact them, yeah. I think the world of 2020 is ready for it.

I wonder what it’s like to watch this movie when it screens every year at the Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station. I bet it feels pretty real there, too.

In an interview with the AV Club, Carpenter said, “If The Thing had been a hit, my career would have been different. I wouldn’t have had to make the choices that I made. But I needed a job. I’m not saying I hate the movies I did. I loved making Christine and Starman and Big Trouble in Little China, all those films. But my career would have been different.”

As it was, Carpenter was reluctant to make the film** and nearly quit before it ever started filming. A lifelong fan of Howard Hawks***, he felt that his version of the story — both are based on Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell Jr. — was unbeatable. But as he re-read the original story — spurred on by co-producer Stuart Cohen — he saw how he could make a movie with a vision for his time, just as Hawks had thirty years ago.

Beyond Carpenter, so many talents make this film work. Of course, there are the actors on screen, like Kurt Russell, Keith David, T.K. Carter, Wilfred Brimley, David Clennon and Richard Dysart. But there’s also the astounding production design and storyboards from Man-Thing artist Mike Ploog and Mentor Huebner, which were so detailed that several of the shots from this look like carbon copies of their sketches. There’s Dean Cundy working to make every shot look amazing — this is his first major studio movie with Carpenter. Want it to get even better? Sure, Carpenter could have done the score, but he got Ennio Morricone****. And finally, the Rob Bottin-lef effects team were pushed to the brink of exhaustion — Bottin was only 21 years old and ended up going to the hospital for  exhaustion, double pneumonia and a bleeding ulcer after working for an entire year on the film, sleeping on set — but the work they created will never be duplicated and puts any CGI efforts to remake this film to shame. Carpenter thought that having someone in a suit — like Alien — cheapened the film. He wanted something more. Well, he got it. In the last battle with the Thing, fifty different artists are operating the monster.

We’re lucky that this movie exists. I saw it at the drive-in this year and it felt like it could have been made today. It was too imaginative, too nihilistic and too good for most people, even nearly forty years later.

*One of the reviews that upset Carpenter the most came from the co-director of the original, Christian Nyby, said, “If you want blood, go to the slaughterhouse. All in all, it’s a terrific commercial for J&B Scotch.”

**Originally, Universal was going with Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel as the team for this movie, but were unhappy with their take. John Landis was also considered, but the film was really greenlit when Alien was such a big deal in 1979.

***How big of a fan is Carpenter? You can see scenes of The Thing from Another World during Halloween.

****Morricone’s score for this film was nominated for a Razzie, while his score for The Hateful Eight — which has some unused music from this film in it — won him his only Best Original Score Oscar.

Jess Franco wrote, directed, produced, acted and scored approximately 173 feature films and I have been cursed to watch all of them. This one, he made for French producer Marius Lesoeur and its also known as L’Abîme des Morts-Vivants* (The Abyss of the Living Dead).

I kid, actually. Sometimes, I kind of like what Franco does. This would be one of those times, when he somehow lulls you into a fuzzed out haze, helped by a bad looking print, as you wait and wait and watch and hope and dream of the moment when the zombies that guard some Nazi gold will emerge and kill the treasure hunters.

Tubi has a print that looks like a VHS that has been rented thousands of times, which makes this so much better of a viewing experience than a pristine version would be.

*It’s also known as Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies, El Desierto de los Zombies, The Grave of the Living Dead, The Treasure of the Living Dead and for having a Spanish version called La Tumba de los Muertos Vivientes that is blessed with Line Romay as the Nazi doctor’s wife.

Known in Italy as Sangraal, la spada di fuoco (Sangraal, the Sword of Fire), this is the first of two barbarian movies that Michele Massimo Tarantini made. For a director better known for his commedia sexy all’italiana films, this is pretty decent. By that, I mean that you have to have an affinity for Italian sword and sorcery. If you haven’t figured out that I do, well, now you do.

This also has the alternate name, Barbarian Master, which is a very metal movie name.

Sangraal (Pietro Torrisi, who started his career in peblum movies like The Ten Gladiators and ended it in sword and sorcery movies like Gunan, King of the Barbarians) is Sangraal, whose father’s kingdom has been decimated by the evil warlord Nantuk (Mario Novelli, Warriors of the Year 2072, Amok Train, Eyes Behind the Stars). He leads his people to a new land which is ruled by Belem (Luciano Rossi, whose career hits all of the Italian trends, from westerns like Django to the Eurospy Killer 77, Alive or Dead to giallo sich as Death Carries a Cane and Death Smiles at a Murderer and poliziotteschi, war films and exploitation in Salon Kitty).

Nantuk has become a king, yet the Goddess of Fire and Death* (Xiomara Rodriguez) demands more. Sangraal must die or Nantuk will lose everything. So he does what any madman usually does and crucifies our hero — hello, Conan the Barbarian — and forcing him to watch everyone in the village be killed**, including the Goddess personally murdering his wife. He’s saved by the archer Li Wo Twan (Haruhiko Yamanouchi, the only actor I know who has been in both Joe D’Amato and Wes Anderson movies) and Belem’s daughter Ati (Yvonne Fraschetti, Demons 2).

This movie actually has something to say about love, loss and grief, as a wizard tells Sangraal that he must give up on the memory of his dead wife and keep on living if he wants to defeat Nantuk, who is devoted to killing him. Then again, as you deal with these issues in your life, I doubt you will ever battle an evil king. That said, perhaps you’ll find something in this to help you.

You have to give it to the servants of Nantuk. When Sangraal challenges our antagonist to a duel to the death by the traditional rules — with no interference — they refuse to help, even when their leader demands they kill our hero. And then, they just let Ati go at the end.

This movie has taught me that goddesses can be killed, if you have a magic crystal crossbow.

Also — and perhaps most importantly — Sabrina Siani (who is pretty much the queen of these movies, thanks to appearances in The Throne of Fire, Ator the Fighting Eagle and, most importantly, her turn as Ocron in Conquest) is in this as the Goddess of Gold and Life.

This is why I watch movies, to be battered into happiness by Italian barbarians battling half-naked and fully naked evil beings.

You can get this from Revok.

*If you’re watching this and wonder, “Have I seen this village get destroyed before?” You’re right. It’s the exact same footage that is in The Throne of Fire.

I don’t know what was in the water, because the frenzy of 1979’s Mad Max inspired imitators all over the world, from the Italian westerns with cars to the Filipino tricycle driving blasts of strangeness and, yes, this Japanese punk rock epic. This is one of the most frenetic and just plain loud movies I’ve ever seen, which made me fall in love with it right from the very first frame.

Whether its characters are rocking the stage, partying, fighting, getting wasted, hunting down a killer or battling any authority figure they can find, this is a film of noise, fury and high energy. It unites bikers, workers and punk as one to fight the Yakuza, which leads to the Battle Police shutting everything down.

Burst City has a soundtrack from all three of the major punk cities in Japan. The Stalin was from Tokyo, Machizo Machida was from Kansai, and The Roosters and the Rockers were from Kyushu. The cast and crew bonded by living on the post-apocalyptic set when they weren’t shooting, like some end of the world squatters.

Shot on filthy 16 mm film, this movie stops and starts, changes speeds and amplifies the strangeness throughout. Director Gakuryū Ishii is often cited as being a major influence on Japan’s cyberpunk culture with movies like Gojoe: Spirit War Chronicle and Electric Dragon 80.000 V, as well as music videos for The Roosters and Einstürzende Neubauten.

If you look closely, you can spot Japanese pro wrestling heel king Umanosuke Ueda, a bleach blonde heel who also shows up on Takeshi’s Castle. He’s one of the yakuza henchmen. If you’re a fan of New Japan Pro Wrestling’s Evil, you are watching the modern version of his character, which also inspired Mr. Gannosuke, Tatsutoshi Goto and Toru Yano.

This is 115 minutes of punk bands screaming*, motorcycles, fistfights, cops getting shotgun blasted and astounding fashion choices. It’s non-stop imagery and sound. In my dreams of punk rock 1982 Tokyo, I imagine that everyone dressed and acted exactly like this film, racing dekotora trucks and chugging sake right out of the microwavable containers when they aren’t plugging holes in their amps so they get even more distortion out of them.

The Arrow Video re-release of this has a 1080p hi-def presentation, which is kind of awesome because this is one of the grainiest movies I’ve ever seen. It also has new audio commentary by Japanese film expert Tom Mes, a 56-minute interview with the director and a 27-minute discussion of the film with filmmaker Yoshiharu Tezuka on jishu eiga (self-made movies).

This is one weird trip that you should totally take. You can get this from Arrow Video. Grab a helmet or something to restrain yourself, because this movie feels like it could give you whiplash.

*Becca: “Is this movie just an hour of Japanese people screaming?”

“Violence beyond reason. Victims beyond help.”

This section 2 video nasty was directed by Don Gronquist, who also wrote Stark Raving Mad and directed The Devil’s Keep, and has a cast of Portland, Oregon kids who never made another film. It was remade in 2017 in the UK, which surprised me because I usually keep on slasher reboots.

Even though this movie is barely 80 minutes, it still feels like nothing happens for a good stretch of time. That’s because, well, nothing does. There’s a lot of talking and sleeping, punctuated by moments of murder. Oh yeah, you can also spot the clapboard numerous times here, so don’t expect a technical masterpiece.

It does have a killer that — SPOILER WARNING — is a man posing as a woman, an early example of gender repression. Yet he still sees himself as a man, but a man who must wipe out all of the weak females that he finds. Don’t look for answers or political correctness here — this is a grimy slasher made in 19 nights way back in 1982. I’ve just never seen a movie before where — SPOILER AGAIN FOR A MOVIE MADE 38 YEARS AGO — the final girl gets eviscerated while the killer laments just how hard it is to be a woman.

You can watch this on YouTube.