America 3000 (1986)

David Engelbach wrote Over the TopDeath Wish 2 and two episodes of the TV shows Lottery and MacGyver. He also wrote the 1984 TV movie Goldie and the Bears, which starred Hulk Hogan. He’s only directed one film — the Cannon Films produced America 3000 — and you’re about to learn all about it.

“Nine hundred years after the Great Nuke. The world man created, he destroyed. Out of the darkness and ignorance of the radioactive rubble emerged a new order…and the world was woggos.”

After a nuclear war in the year 1992 — surprise! — mankind has gone back to the Stone Age and is ruled by Amazon women who keep men as wild animals to be used for labor and sex.

Two young guys, Korvis (Chuck Wagner, who was on TV’s Automan and is in The Sisterhood; he went on to be a theater actor and was a ringmaster for the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus) and Gruss run away and find the weapons-filled bunker of the President of the United States of America.

Laurene Landon (who was in the commercials in The Stuff), Galyn Gorg (Angie, the nuke addicted bad girl of RoboCop 2), the first Isreali mime Shaike Ophir, black belt Karen Sheperd (The Enforcer from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) and a monster named Aargh the Awful — who is a Bigfoot with a boombox — all show up.

With that kind of description, it should be much better than it is. I’m sad to tell you that it drags and that it seems like only Australians, Italians and Filipinos can make proper post-apocalyptic movies.

1 thought on “America 3000 (1986)”

  1. I have crossed paths with the “film” so many times. Waay to many. More than I care to. It was on the rack of every video store I’ve been in. It’s turned up at garage sales, Goodwills, even pawn shops with racks of VHS tapes, HBO, Antenna TV, UHF-TV, the old USA Network, argh!!!! And WTF, here it is back again to haunt me with a B&S review!

    I FF’d this thing … ONCE … back in the day. I classify it as a very bad attempt at a post-apoc satire that wasn’t worth the muscle strain on my thumb to FF it. As awful as Space Mutiny? Yes!

    Like

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