Krull (1983)
Krull should have been a blockbuster. But seriously, it’s a mess. A glorious mess. It’s like the craziest game of Dungeons & Dragons you ever played, filled with info about magic and strange lands. It has the most awesome weapon ever seen in probably any movie ever, the Glaive. It has monsters that look amazing. But […]
Ator 2: The Blade Master (1982)
Joe D’Amato wanted to make a prehistoric movie like Quest for Fire called Adamo ed Eva that read a lot like 1983’s Adam and Eve vs. The Cannibals. However, once he called in Miles O’Keefe to be in the movie, the actor said that he couldn’t be in the film due to moral and religious reasons. One wonders […]
Barbarian Queen 2: The Empress Strikes Back (1990)
Lana Clarkson is back, but this sequel to Barbarian Queen is one in title only, as it’s a completely different story. Here, she played Althalia, who goes from being a princess to leading peasants and an army of female fighters against Arkaris. That said, this is a Roger Corman produced film, so prepare for plenty of women […]
Barbarian Queen (1985)
After co-starring in the first Deathstalker film, Lana Clarkson would return to star in this Roger Corman produced schlockfest. Sadly, despite comedic turns in films like Fast Times at Ridgemont High (she’s Vincent Schiavelli’s wife in a quick scene) and Amazon Women on the Moon (I really need to get to that movie soon), as well as other action films Vice […]
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Before Aquaman, Jason Momoa was almost another franchise star with this 2011 reimagining of Conan. Directed by Marcus Naspiel (who was also behind the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th) and narrated by Morgan Freeman, it failed at the box office and had mostly negative reviews. That’s never stopped us from loving a movie before, so […]
The Norseman (1978)
Look, I can hear you laughing. An 11th-century Viking prince — played by Lee Majors of all people — sets sails for North America to find his missing father, who has been captured by Native Americans. Yes, it’s ridiculous. But it’s also directed by Charles B. Pierce, who brought us The Town That Dreaded Sundown, The Bootleggers, and […]
The Barbarians (1987)
Ruggero Deodato brings together Richard Lynch, twin muscleheads called the Barbarian Brothers, George Eastman and Michael Berryman and the results are everything you dreamed that they would be. Within the first ten minutes of this film, I had already screamed from my couch in pure glee, so happy to be alive and watching an Italian […]
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
You know what they say. If you can’t get John Milius, grab the dude who directed Mandingo, Soylent Green and the Neil Diamond remake version of The Jazz Singer, Richard Fleischer. That’s exactly what Dino and Raffaella De Laurentiis did here. It makes sense, though, as Fleischer had also directed The Vikings, one of the films that had inspired Milius as […]
Deathstalker II (1987)
John Terlesky replaces Rick Hill as the Deathstalker and he doesn’t really have the look that Boris Vallejo envisions on the box art for this one. And because Jim Wynorski is directing, you know you’re going to get exactly what you expect out of a sword and sorcery Roger Corman movie: breasts, boobs, bazooms and a […]
Deathstalker (1983)
My wife thinks that the only reason they made sword and sorcery movies was to basically make porn. She doesn’t realize that in 1983 the porn industry was in its VHS heydey, with films finally showing up in video stores. And that the internet didn’t exist, so for teenage boys that wanted to see some […]
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