Sam, the Bossman, gave this a Compass International release a run through back in November 2018, just because, well, we are obsessed with Compass flicks as much as Crown’s crap o’ reels. When this film was included on Mill Creek’s Sci-Fi Invasion set, Dustin Fallon from Horror and Sons came on board for his take on the film in November 2020.

Sigh. But Mill Creek has to “go green” and recycle. So I now have the job of doing a third take for their Excellent Eighties box set. The joy. But it’s not so bad. Again, this is a Compass International flick directed by John “Bud” Cardos and produced by Charles Band. Compass was the distributor for John Carpenter’s Halloween in 1978, and producer Charles Band’s Tourist Trap in 1979, in case you didn’t know.

This is movie is not even close to being as good as either of those films. But John “Bud” Cardos is still the man.

Look at that short — but hit-packed director’s resume: Kingdom of the Spiders. The Dark. Mutant. Gor II: Outlaw of Gor. Well, they’re “hits” for the B&S About Movies lover in your life. Then there’s Bud’s cable and VHS potboilers starring Ernest Borginine, Robert Vaughn, Oliver Reed, and Herbert Lom — in the same movie: Skeleton Coast (1988). Then there’s Act of Piracy (1988) with Gary Busey and Ray Sharkey. Then there’s Bud’s acting resume with Al Adamson and the films Hells Angels on Wheels (1967), Psych-Out (1968), The Road Hustlers (1968), The Savage Seven (1968), Killers Three (1968), Blood of Dracula’s Castle (1969), Satan’s Sadists (1969), Five Bloody Graves (1969), and Hell’s Bloody Devils (1970).

After entering the annals of Bikerdom with his third acting gig in Hells Angels on Wheels (he had support roles in 1965’s Deadwood ’76 and Run Home, Slow), and paying attention on all of those Al Adamson sets and Roger Corman AIP productions, Bud Cardos transitioned behind the lens for the blaxploitation-spaghetti western with The Red, White, and the Blue, aka Soul Soldier (1970).

Then he hooked up with Charles Band. And you thought Compass International’s Catholicism Aliens was nutso. Now we’ve got a hippy-dippy Eco-friendly film about aliens and solar power. It’s Laserblast and End of the World rolled into one . . . uh, a film that exists. Yeah, David Schmoeller (the director of Tourist Trap and the Puppet Master franchise) and Ted Nicolaou (Terrorvision and the Subspecies franchise) are on board to help out, so all is well.

Well, not really. Let the extraterrestrial shenanigans, begin.

Jim Davis, who probably expected his stardom on TV’s nighttime drama Dallas to net him better film roles, stars as Grant, the patriarch of the Williams family. He’s moved them lock, stock and barrel to the desert to get away from it all. Grant’s wife, Ana, is Dorothy Malone, who won a Best Supporting Actress for Written on the Wind . . . then was so hard up, she had to take a Corman car flick, The Fast and the Furious. Their son is Chris Mitchum, who probably sees this as a career high point — after the like of The Serpent Warriors. Then there’s his Ed Wood School of Awful Acting wife Beth, and their equally annoying kids, Steve and Jenny — who we wished ended up as xenomorph vittles in the first act to “wrap them” and get them the fuck off the set because they’re interfering with the Jim Danforth and Dave Allen SFX that we came for in the first place.

So . . . back to the plot:

The world is enthralled by an expositional, deep space, triple-super supernova.

Said supernova opens a black hole.

Aliens and UFOs — of all shapes and sizes — and stop-motion lizards — all of it stocked out of other Band boondoggles, such as Laserblast and End of the World, show up. But some of it is new — again, Jim Danforth and Dave Allen made them. So, all is well (not really).

There’s “atmospheric interference” and “electrical storms” and the car won’t star to get the Williams family out of there.

Then, we go into our “Night of the Living Dead” phase as everyone hides in the barn. Only with aliens and not zombies.

The family is “beamed up” to a UFO. They time travel to the future. They’re going to live in a domed city on some alien world because “time ended” back on Earth. Or something.

Yeah, you can order it from Full Moon, which issued it as Blu-ray in 2019. But why buy the cow when we found the milk for free, over on You Tube.

About the Author: You can read the music and film reviews of R.D Francis on Medium and learn more about his work on Facebook.

Leave it to Mill Creek — with their B-Movie Blast set — to carry the entire, two-film career of director Lawrence Bassoff on one disc. And Hunk also reappears on their Excellent Eighties set, which we’re also unpacking this month . . . but not with Weekend Pass, again? Is not Weekend Pass, also from the ’80s, “excellent” as well? What gives, Mill Creek? As you can see, we took it upon ourselves to review Hunk, not only once, but twice, with two different takes, as we love this movie. Now, that’s not to say that Hunk — as well as Weekend Pass — isn’t a bitch to sit through, because they will make you want to Red Ryder your eyes out.

We also made an effort to find the WORST artwork used for the film. It’s pure 10th grade art class. Again, get the BB gun: for it’s a celluloid Christmas. Oh, guess who got his start as a background extra in this: Brad Pitt. True story.

Did you see Bedazzled (1967) with Peter Cooke as the devil and Dudley Moore as the dope who accepts the ‘Bubs seven wishes for his soul? More likely: Did you see the Elizabeth Hurley and Brendan Fraser’s 2000 remake? Well, it is that same old Faustian tale, only with comedian-actor James Coco in the Cooke role. And only the budget is so low, the production could only afford one wish. And that “wish,” if the poster didn’t give it away, is to be a “hunk.”

Not only is this review a round-up of Lawrence Bassoff’s career, but actor Steve Levitt’s as well, as we also reviewed his work role in Last Resort. Sure, Levitt did other things, more than two things — mostly TV series, which we don’t review — but unless Mill Creek boxes those “other things” up, we probably won’t review those films. Hey, the dude is serviceable and was Tiger Blood tryin’, but after 10 years in the biz, he just wasn’t winning. He bailed on the biz after his first starring role-TV series The Boys (1988) failed, and the TV movie Danger Team (1991), which was series pilot, didn’t go to series. Again, Mill Creek, hook us up with Danger Team to give us a Steve Levitt trifecta for the site.

So . . . Levitt is Bradley Brinkman, a computer programming geek whose fiancee ditched him for her aerobics instructor — and I feel for Bradley: My “dumping” experience was by a woman who pursued me . . . then traded up . . . when our mutual friend hit the family inheritance jackpot. Why be with an up-and-coming radio jock who used to draw floor plans for a living when you can live in a two-story mansion on the Palm Beach-skirting Intercoastal? They’re divorced thes days, but she cleaned up (which was her scam, I believe) and financed her to-Los Angeles relocation. She was ga-ga for Hollywood, even when we dated.

But I digress, again.

So Bradley is losing his mind over finishing a computer program, so he drops the ol’ “I’d sell my soul to finish this” trope. He comes to move next door to Chachka (Cynthia Szigeti, a member of the influential The Grounding comedy troupe). At least she’s sweet on him, but the rest of the upscale greedy professional types hate him because Cha is sweet on him. But there’s another “hottie” on the way.

Coco’s devil dispatches O’Rourke (Deborah Shelton, a Miss USA 1970 and runner-up to Miss Universe that year; she was on Dallas and in Bloodtide, as well as DePalma’s Body Double) to finish the computer program for Bradley — and gives him a new, hunky body for the some. So, actually, he gets “two” wishes. Ugh, don’t over think the plot.

And, with that . . . that’s a wrap on Steve Levitt. Call John Allen Nelson (the Deathstalker from Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell and Dave in Killer Klowns from Outer Space), as Hunk Golden: the ultimate martial arts he-man that can bed any woman he wants. Remember Den, the John Candy-voiced geek in Heavy Metal that the Loc-Nar geek-to-hunked? It’s like that. Only Den, like Hunk Golden, won’t end up in hell.

PLOT TWIST!

Does anyone remember Rebecca Bush, who played Florence Henderson in Growing Up Brady? Well, she’s really actress Deborah Shelton, aka O’Reilly, aka Dr. Sunny Graves, the head shrink that Brad’s been seeing. Huh, people “become” other “people” in this movie. Was all of this identity-switching in the original script or did actors quit and creative scripting filled out the story? Who knows. (What a f’ing mess this is, but we will plow forward.)

PLOT TWIST!

Now, we are time traveling, as Bradley-Hunk meets Ivan the Terrible, Jack the Ripper and Benito Mussolini, as his job is to recruit “demons” for hell, which are in short supply. And something about Coco-Devil wanting to start WW III. (What a f’ing mess this is, but we will plow onward.)

PLOT TWIST!

Bradley-Hunk becomes a nation celebrity when he saves Garrison Gaylord, a national, but drunken, television host (Robert Morse, who you know as Bertram Cooper on Mad Men) from being hit by a car — with his brute strength. Like the Hulk. Only he’s not green and he’s Hunk. And O’Brien who is Dr. Graves, who is the devil’s agent, is really a 10th Century princess who sold her sold to avoid an arranged marriage. (What a f’ing mess this is, but we will plow forward.)

Does the presence of Avery Schreiber, aka Dr. Cornelius Butt from Galaxina (also on the B-Movie Blast set), as well as Airport ’79 and Silent Scream, help? Does the presence of Hilary Shepherd, who was in the band American Girls and appeared in Weekend Pass, Scanner Cop, Radioactive Dreams and Theodore Rex, help?

Nope.

If you’re a B&S About Movies geeker of the obscure actor variety, you’ll see Melanie Vincz (The Lost Empire), Page Mosely (Edge of the Axe), John Barrett (Gymkata and Steel Dawn) and Andrea Patrick, who plays a mermaid here; she was a beauty queen that was married to Fabian Forte — and you know we show the Fabian film love ’round ‘ere.

If only Fabian starred in this as the Devil. No, we’d never wish that devilish punishment on Fabian. Don’t believe us? Punish yourself on You Tube — Brad is called out at the 17:25 mark in the upload. So there’s that click bait incentive.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.