Over this month, we’ve talked about the controversy over Thunderball, with Ian Fleming not crediting Kevin McClory, which led to a copyright case and Ron Productions settling on a deal to use the novel as well as the Blofeld and SPECTRE intellectual property.

By the mid 1970’s, McClory wanted to remake the movie as Warhead and had Connery interested in coming back as Bond. This led to another lawsuit, as Eon thought that the results of the lawsuit allowed for the usage of elements of the story, but not Bond himself.

Another version of the movie was in development as James Bond of the Secret Service, with Jack Schwartzman coming on board as a producer and adding writer Lorenzo Semple, Jr. Connery asked Diamonds Are Forever writer Tom Mankiewicz to join the project, but he felt that wouldn’t be right due to his respect for Albert R. Broccoli.

After Connery had finished Diamonds Are Forever, he pledged that he would “never” play Bond again. His wife Micheline suggested the title and by the end of another lawsuit in 1983, this movie was finally about to get made.

Many of the Eon-produced Bond trademarks couldn’t be in this movie, such as the gun barrel sequence, the theme and even a pre-credit sequence.

In the post-Star Wars world that Moonraker attempted to navigate for Bond, this film embraces the Lucas team, with director Irvin Kershner (The Empire Strikes Back) and much of the Raiders of the Lost Ark crew, including first assistant director David Tomblin, director of photography Douglas Slocombe, second unit director Mickey Moore and production designers Philip Harrison and Stephen Grimes, coming on board.

Bond fails a routine training mission and is sent by M to get in better shape. While at a health spa, he watches as Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera, Condorman) beats a patient into oblivion and battles an assassin.

That beaten man — Bond is dealing with BDSM here — is Captain Jack Petachi, an Air Force pilot whose eye has been altered so that it is the same as the President of the United States. He’s played by Gavan O’Herlihy of Death Wish 3. He and Fatima are working for SPECTRE and its main boss, Blofeld, played here by Max Von Sydow.

Soon, he’s battling SPECTRE agent Maximillian Largo, seducing his mistress Domino (Kim Basinger) and, as always, saving the world all over again.

Former pro wrestler Pat Roach is in this as a henchman. Most people will recognize him from his roles as the giant bald Nazi mechanic Indiana Jones battles outside a Flying Wing in Raiders of the Lost Ark, as well as the Man-Ape in Conan the Destroyer and General Kael in Willow.

Bernie Casey is a welcome sight as Felix Leiter and Rowan Atkinson makes his screen debut as one of Bond’s assistants. Plus, a pre-fame Steven Seagal was the movie’s martial arts instructor. He broke Sean Connery’s wrist during training, a fact that the actor didn’t learn until nearly a decade later.

The end, where Bond winks at the camera, is fun. However, Connery and Roger Moore had an idea for an ending where they would bump into one another in the street and Moore would say, “Never say never again!”

Years after this, McClory announced plans to make another remake starring Timothy Dalton called Warhead 2000 AD, but it never was made. Sony acquired his rights and announced that since they held the rights to his material and Casino Royale that they would make their own Bond movies. As you can imagine, this led to another lawsuit.

After McClory’s death, MGM acquired the rights to his intellectual property, as well as both this movie and Casino Royale, meaning that finally Blodfeld could come back to the Bond storyline, as he did in Spectre.

Italy and Spain combine to create this sequel to Super Seven Calling Cairo, written and directed by Umberto Lenzi using the name Hubert Humphry.

It brings back Roger Browne as Martin Stevens, Agent Super Seven. Emma Danieli from Spies Strike Silently, Daniele Vargas (Electra One from, well, Electra One), Marino Mase (Tenebre), Yoko Tani (The Secret of Dr. Mabuse), Sal Borgese (Super Fuzz), Tullio Altamura (A Black Veil for Lisa) and Attilio Dottesio (Death Smiles at a Murderer) all show up too.

Yoko Tani is honestly the only reason to watch this. Her life sounds pretty interesting by comparison, so let’s talk about that. Her Japanese parents worked at the Japanese embassy in Paris, with the actress conceived en route via ship and born in Paris, which is where she got her first name, which means “ocean child.”

After two years of time in France, her family moved back to Japan. She’d return in 1950 to attend a Catholic girls school for two years before she began dancing in cabarets, becoming famous for her sexy geisha dance. This got her the attention of director Marcel Carne, which is how she met her first husband Roland Lesaffre.

Between spy and sword and sandal films, she was in two films for Toho and is also in the Dean Martin movie Who’s Been Sleeping in My Bed? She continued dancing until late into the 1970s before remarrying to a wealthy French industrialist. Their shared grave has the phrase “Always together” on it.

As for Lenzi, he’d follow this movie with Kriminal and his last spy film Last Man to Kill. Along with a few war films, he’d begin making the giallo that so many in the U.S. know him for, like So Sweet…So Perverse, Orgasmo, A Quiet Place to Kill, Seven Blood Stained Orchids, Eyeball and Spasmo, as well as incredibly out there — and much beloved to me — films like Nightmare City, Ironmaster, Ghosthouse and Nightmare Beach.

You can watch this on YouTube:

Is The Rock a spy movie?

SAS Captain John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery) is Bond.

He was captured in 1962 for stealing the microfilm with all of Hoover’s secrets, escaped in 1963 in time for the events of Dr. No to finish and was recaptured by the U.S. government after the events of 1971’s Diamonds Are Forever. He claims that he was trained by the best in the world and even says a Bond-like line from Diamonds: “Of course you are.”

This theory doesn’t take into account 1983’s Never Say Never Again, but you know how it goes — film theory doesn’t have to be foolproof.

Rogue U.S. Force Recon Marines, led by disenchanted Brigadier General Frank Hummel (Ed Harris) and his second-in-command Major Tom Baxter (David Morse) have stolen VX gas-armed M55 rockets and are holding San Francisco hostage unless the families of the men he commended are paid the $100 million that the government has stolen from them.

With such an opening — They make their base on Alcatraz! Nicolas Cage is a bomb expert who loves The Beatles! Sean Connery once escaped Alcatraz! — is a Michael Bay movie made. Well, if you’re going to watch a mindless action film, go with the best I always say.

The beauty of the film? Small roles played by beloved actors. William Forsythe, Michael Biehn and Tony Todd all show up here. The dialogue sparkles — Tarantino did an uncredited rewrite on the script. I wonder if the needle to the heart and Mexican standoff came from him.

I kind of love movies where the bad guys are conflicted, the good guys are unsure and the bullets fly. This one delivers all that and more.

Remember when we went to war in Iraq over chemical weapons? There have been reports that this movie is why, as an MI6 agent was using the film as the basis for his reports from the country. Yes, this really happened.

Bay had a sequel idea, where Goodspeed would be chased by the government to get the microfilm back and he must ask Mason for his help. I really wish that movie had been made.

There’s a scene where Goodspeed tells the guards to remove Mason’s handcuffs and Cage has a crazy line reading — one of many in the movie — and he claims that his way of saying the words came from an Elvis Presley story he had recently told Connery involving girls in white panties wrestling chimpanzees. “Sometimes these ideas come from strange places,” said the California Kinski.

Never change, you magnificent maniac.

And what in the hell is this about? “Nic Cage Bitch” is our Nicolas Cage blowout written by Paul Andolina of Wrestling with Film. It’s a must read for all fans of the Cage, so check it out and learn about some Cage films you may have missed, such as A Score to Settle, Between Worlds, Kill Chain, Outcast, Rage, and Seeking Justice.

Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda!) owns the soul of Johnny Blaze, who gave it willingly to cure his father’s cancer. Of course, his dad dies the very next day in a stunt. Blaze becomes a famous stunt rider but the devil still owns his soul, no matter what he does. However — the illegitimate son of Satan named Blackheart and his quest for a thousand corrupt souls my give the stuntman an escape.

Ghost Rider was a character that was big in the 70’s and 90’s for Marvel. This film comes from Mark Steven Johnson, who also created Daredevil (and wrote the two Grumpy Old Men films).

I really like the casting of this film, with Wes Bentley as Blackheart, Eva Mendes as Johnny’s lost love Roxanne, Sam Elliot as a past Ghost Rider who is now the Caretaker, Donal Logue has a nice small role and even a young Rebel Wilson shows up.

Nicholas Cage is, of course, perfect for the role. He already had a Ghost Rider tattoo before the movie even started, as he’s such a comic book fan. After all, he took his stage name from Luke Cage and named his son Kal-El after Superman.

Sergio Grieco must have been bored making the Agent 077 movies, because he went absolutely insane putting this film together. This is a mix of the craziest parts of the fumetti neri and Eurospy films, never completely serious yet never getting so campy that you lose interest. It’s absolute fun and worth watching to take your mind off our increasingly crazier world.

We start in China, where Argoman is about to be executed. Instead, he uses his mental powers to make the firing squad kill one another. Yes, Argoman has no respect for human life and even less for where he makes his money. He takes a jeweled box as payment from the Russians. Another job got him the Mona Lisa that is in his secret base.

Argoman is suspected of stealing London’s crown jewels. But there are bigger things on his mind, like who should he sleep with: Samantha or Regina (Dominique Boschero, All the Colors of the Dark). His manservant Chandra (Eduardo Fajardo, Lisa and the Devil) has really big worries: any time that Argoman gets his banana peeled, he loses his powers for six hours.

It turns out that Regina is really Jenabell, Queen of the World, a super villainess that Argoman can track through his special radioactive cigarettes. Yes, just plain lung cancer wasn’t enough for our hero.

All manner of hijinks ensue, including cloned world leaders plummeting to their deaths, glowing lipstick and Argoman murdering every clone of Regina that comes his way before blowing up her plane and taking the crown jewels for himself.

Jenabell gets major credit here for outfits that progressively get weirder, intricate hats that totally complete her ensembles and for having the most archaic robot I’ve seen in a Eurospy film.

This movie is completely off the rails from the very first minute of screen time. Jess Franco is an acquired taste, but here, he’s tasting like the finest of wine, as jazzy beats play over Eurospy action. This was his first film working with composer Bruno Nicolai and it all works like magic.

Ray Danton plays Lucky, who is very much a gentleman thief. You’ll recognize him from playing Sandokan in two films, as well as spy appearances in Special Agent Super Dragon, Code Name: Jaguar and the abortive Derek Flint TV pilot, Our Man Flint: Dead on Target.

Rosalba Neri is also in this, who has quite the Eurospy resume, appearing in Superseven Calls on Cairo, Two Mafiosi Against Goldfinger, Password: Kill Agent Gordon and OSS 117 – Double Agent. Horror fans would know her better as the titular Lady Frankenstein and as the wife in the giallo Amuck!

Patty Shephard, who is in this movie for only the briefest of moments, would go on to become a Spanish horror queen. She’s in two of my favorites, Slugs and Edge of the Axe, as well as Nachy’s The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman.

Keep an eye out of Teresa Gimpera (Hannah, Queen of the Vampires) and Bebe Loncar (Some Girls Do).

There’s some plot about counterfeiting here, but really it’s an excuse for Lucky to run around and romance women. Quite literally, the movie ends the way it does because, as our hero says, “We ran out of money.”

This movie is a blast. Do yourself a favor and hunt it down.

I kind of love that Barb Wire has basically the same story as Casablanca — Roger Ebert pointed that out — yet Ingrid Bergman didn’t show off her nipples on stage at Rick’s before the credits even started to roll.

This movie was made in one of the many races to get comic books on screen. This was based on a Dark Horse comic that honestly, not many people knew about. That doesn’t keep it from being a great idea for a movie, but this film is…well…it’s a glorious mess.

Barb Wire (Pamela Anderson) owns the Hammerhead, a nightclub in Steel Harbor. As part of “the last free city” in a United States ravaged by another civil war, she tries to keep men from hitting on her when he isn’t working as a bounty hunter.

Is it horrible? Yeah, it’s pretty bad. It is, however, not the worst movie that Victoria Rowell was ever in. After all, she made her debut in Leonard Part 6.

I’m of the mind that if a movie has Udo Keir and Steve Railsback in it, it can’t be all horrible. This movie tests that theory, but it still holds. Throw in Clint Howard and things aren’t all bad.

Director David Hogan — who spent most of his directing on music videos — was brought in to replace Adam Rifkin (Detroit Rock City).

Yes, 1996. A time when Pam Anderson was a big enough star to open a fim and every comic book became a movie. It was a wonderful time.

Ray Chase is pretty much cosplaying Harry Tasker, as he’s an agent so secret even his son doesn’t know. When he brings home a laser gun, Eve (Lesley Anne-Downe) and her henchmen kidnap him. Now, his son must rescue his dad and avoid deception from double agents.

James Wong (Lo Pan!) and Richard Moll (nearly every 80’s movie) are in the way, along with many, many, many henchpeople.

So you know what you’re getting into here, director John Murlowski was also in charge of Amityville: A New Generation, Santa With Muscles, Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish and Killer Contractor. It was written by Rory Johnson, who wrote another of my favorite junk movies, Prey of the Jaguar.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Forced out of retirement, the original James Bond (David Niven) battles Dr. Noah and SMERSH. Living up to the film’s tagline “Casino Royale is too much… for one James Bond!”, this movie ha six others pretending to be 007, including baccarat player Evelyn Tremble (Peter Sellers); millionaire spy Vesper Lynd (first Bond girl Ursula Andress), Bond’s secretary Miss Moneypenny (giallo queen Barbara Bouchet), Bond’s daughter with Mata Hari, Mata Bond (Joanna Pettet) and British agents Coop (Terence Cooper) and The Detainer (Daliah Lavi).

If this sounds like a mess, so is the film, which has direction by Ken Hughes (Night School, Sextette), John Huston (The Treasure of the Sierra Madre), Joseph McGrath (The Magic Christian), Robert Parrish (The Fire Down Below), Val Guest (Where the Spies Are) and Richard Talmadge.

Woody Allen, Peter Sellers, Val Guest, Ben Hecht, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, and Billy Wilder all wrote parts of the movie, with Southern writing Sellers dialogue so he would look better than Allen and Orson Welles.

Orson Welles finally appears in a Bond fim as Le Chiffre, who is SMERSH’s financial agent. He’s been embezzling and hopes to gamble back his way into the money he needs to repay the evil spy organization. William Holden shows up as the CIA agent Ransome, George Raft plays himself (he’s also playing Scarface, which is pretty much himself), Charles Boyer is Legrande, John Huston is M, Jacqueline Bisset is Miss Goodthighs, Pete O’Toole and so many more people show up.

Speaking of Bisset, she was surprised when filming her first scene with Sellers, as he fired a gun directly in her face without warning. Though the gun was only loaded with blanks, her face was coveredin burning gunpowder and her face started to bleed.

“First I thought I had been actually shot and then when I realized it had been a blank, I thought I’d been blinded. My face looked like a shower spout of pinpricks leaking blood,” said Bisset. “I was panicked whenever I had a scene with Peter Sellers. To get shot in your first scene with a big star, that is a nightmare.”

This is Anjelica Huston’s first film role, as she was Deborah Kerr’s hands.It’s also the first movie for Dave Prowse as Frankenstein’s Monster, a role he would play in The Horror of Frankenstein and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell. He would go on to play, of course, Darth Vader.

Casino Royale has so many actors who either appeared in a Bond movie or would go on to be in one: Ursula Andress (Dr. No), Vladek Sheybal (From Russia with Love), Burt Kwouk (Goldfinger, You Only Live Twice),  Jeanne Roland (You Only Live Twice), Angela Scoular (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service), Caroline Munro (The Spy Who Loved Me), Milton Reid (Dr. No, The Spy Who Loved Me), John Hollis (For Your Eyes Only), Jack Gwillim (Thunderball), John Wells (For Your Eyes Only) and Hal Galili (Goldfinger). Plus, Nikki Van der Zyl, who dubbed so many of the Bond Girls, does so here. She’s uncredited, just as she was in the official films.

There was plenty of drama on set between Sellers and Welles, as the British comedian really wanted to play Bond straight and hated the comedy angle. He was also upset that Princess Margaret paid more attention to Welles than himself when she visited the set.

As a result, Sellers disappeared for days or weeks at a time, refused to appear in his scenes with Welles and left the movie before all of his scenes had been shot. The end of the movie had to be rewritten without him in it.

To top off all of Sellers other behavior, he also punched out his friend, director Joseph McGrath, who told him to settle down.

Burt Bacharach contributed the song “The Look of Love,” sung by Dusty Springfield, to this movie. If you ever wondered why Austin Powers loved Bacharach so much, there’s your answer.

This is the only movie where Bond dies. Let’s hope no other film follows suit.