Fit to Kill (1993)

L.E.T.H.A.L. agents Donna and Nicole are back, doing what they do best — wearing swimwear and getting into hot tubs. No, I’m being silly. What they do best is spy action and here, they’re protecting Mr. Chang, a wealthy Asian businessman, and keeping his rare diamond out of the hands of a jewel thief.

Increasingly, the plot of Andy Sidaris movies are becoming McGuffin laden adventures that the G.I. Joe team would undertake, but the Joes never got Lady Jaye, Scarlett, The Baroness and Zarana to strip down to their thongs. Such is the wonder and genius of Mr. Sidaris’ oeuvre.

If you’re wondering, “Will bumbling agents attempt to use remote control weapons to kill our heroines?” Good news. The answer is yes. Their names are Evel and Kenevil this time.

You may also ask, “Do my favorites come back?” Sure they do. Everyone from Skip, Ava, Edy, Shane, Lucas and Bruce are here. None of the guys can shoot a gun to save their lives, even seven movies down the road.

Kane (R.J. Moore, son of James Bond’s Roger) is back, as he’s just one of the bad guys out to steal that massive diamond, which was liberated from Russia at the end of World War II. Rodrigo Obregon also comes back as yet another bad guy, but at least he has Julie Strain as Blu Steele, a new and dangerous villain for the ladies to battle.

Then you may ask, “Is she going to be a good guy in the next movie?” You’ve seen too many Andy Sidaris movies. Go outside and get in the sun for a bit.

This was meant to be the end to the series and it is Dona Speir’s seventh and final time appearing in one of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies movies. But come on. The saga must continue.

I recently read on Twitter that the women of Andy Sidaris movies have more backstory than Black Widow in the Marvel Universe movies. That’s kind of sad, really. Who knew that a director who mainly liked to show silicone-enhanced breasts would be more woke than people making multiplex pleasing films twenty plus years later?

Well, this one ends with a hot tub party instead of an after the credits reveal. That’s the world of Andy Sidaris, protecting the world, saving giant diamonds and having heaving mammaries pop into your face every ten seconds.

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