Seven (1979)

Andy Sidaris’ second non-documentary movie is all about what happens when seven gangsters take over Hawaii, leading the FBI to bring ex-agent turned killer Drew Savano (William Smith, Invasion of the Bee GirlsManiac Cop), who has hired seven of the best killers in the world to take out the trash. They become Sevano’s Seven – the Playmate, the Black Belt, the Dragster, the Cowboy, the Comic, the Professor and the Indian. And death is their way of life!

PS — It’s essentially Hard Ticket to Hawaii, made eight years before Andy would make that movie and then essentially make it better over and then make it better again and again.

Lenny Montana (the former pro wrestler and legitimate mobster who played Luca Brasi in The Godfather) is The Big Kahuna, the mob boss who has taken over the island. He also has Martin Kove, the evil karate instructor from The Karate Kid on board as his bodyguard.

These are amongst the prettiest women that Sidaris ever had one of his casts — original Vampirella model Barbara Leigh and three-time Playboy covergirl Susan Kiger (she’s also in H.O.T.S.) — yet it’s also the least sex he’s ever had in one of his films. Plus, bellydancer Little Egypt shows up. I realize the incongruity of a burlesque dancer showing up in a movie that’s not as sexy as his other films. If you’re a Sidaris fan, you’ll understand.

It’s also one of the last movies that American International Pictures would release before being rebranded as Filways Pictures before they put out Brian DePalma’s Dressed to Kill.

As stated before, this movie forms the basis for nearly every one of Sidaris’ later films. The character of The Professor would reappear again in Picasso Trigger, but that time, he wouldn’t try to bring a blow-up doll into an airport.

There are plenty of great deaths here. Mob bosses get thrown out windows, blown up real good with bombs in their crotches, via hand-glider hand grenade, covered with gasoline and shot with a flare gun, as well as at least two deaths by rocket launcher. For me, it ranks really high on my list of Andy’s films.

This movie was unreleased on home video until 2018, when Kino Lorber finally put it out on blu ray. If you’re doing the whole Sidaris week with us, don’t miss out! Seven is tons of fun. I mean, when you say that it’s going to make killing into an art form, it better be!

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