Hasta el Viento Tiene Miedo (1967)

Translated as Even the Wind Is Afraid, this Carlos Enrique Taboada-directed horror film touches on the gothic and predates a very similar feeling film, Suspiria, by nearly a decade.

It’s all about Claudia, a student who investigates a tower that keeps showing up in her nightmares, where she sees the hung body of a student who killed herself years before and whose ghost has been haunting the teachers.

It turns out that the ghost is real and it is Andrea, a girl who had asked to leave the school to see her dying mother before it was too late. When Bernarda (the principal of the school) refused, Andrea hung herself inside the tower. Now, Andrea will not rest until everyone pays. And for some reason, she’s picked Claudia to help.

This movie was remade as The Wind of Fear in 2007, with Alicia Bonet (who played Claudia) playing her mother.

That said, I’d recommend you check out the original, which was incredibly entertaining. It really does have that feeling of isolation and worry that the teen years engender, with plenty of gothic mood as well. You can see its influence on del Toro’s The Devil’s Backbone, particularly in that movie’s setting.

El Planeta De Las Mujeres Invasoras (1967)

Behold pure magic! You may have noticed that I have a weakness for movies where planetary races of female overlords descend on our little mudball and wipe humans out left and right. This is one of the best examples I’ve ever seen of the genre ever and has suddenly leaped to the top of the list.

What else should I expect from Alfredo B. Crevenna, the director of The Fury of the Karate Experts, one of the most out-there films ever, a movie that somehow combines Santo, kung fu mysticism, aliens, the Coral Castle and Atlantis?

After walking into a flying saucer-looking ride at a carnival, a group of humans is soon light speeding their way through space, the prisoners of a planet of women looking for a new home. Beyond the nuclear family being menaced, we also have a boxer who is in over his head with the mob, his girl and the gang of thugs out to make him pay.

Soon, they’re being experimented on by the evil queen Adastrea and helped by her twin Alburnia. There’s a legend on their planet that twins would arrive, with one serving a dark god and the other a being of light. They’re both played by Lorena Velazquez, whose acting career continues to this day. She’s as close to a scream queen as this era would produce, with roles in The Ship of MonstersMacabre Legends of the ColonyShe-Wolves of the Ring and, in perhaps her best-known horror role, she was Thorina, queen of the vampires in Santo contra Las Mujeres Vampiros. She’s beyond fabulous in this, threatening the lives of children in one scene and sweet and tender in the next.

Speaking of children, the space women have a plot to take human lungs — the younger the better — and use them to make their own ability to breathe our air.

If you’re looking for more movies like this, you can always pick Catwomen of the Moon, Fire Maidens from Outer SpaceAbbott and Costello Go to Mars, Missile to the Moon, Amazon Women on the Moon or Queen of Outer Space.

One of the space women, Eritrea, is played by Maura Monti, who would play a similar role in Santo vs. the Martian Invasion, released the very same year. She’s also The Batwoman, which we covered last week.

This movie packs plenty of poignant moments and hilarious dialogue inside it, so much so that you’re unsure if you’re watching a drama or a comedy at points. The sets are astounding works of pop art, the aliens’ costumes leave little to the imagination and the bad guys are as bad as you can get. All movies should aspire to do so much with so little.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Mondo Hollywood (1967)

Robert Cohen also made Inside Red China, Inside East Germany, Committee on Un-American Activities and Inside Castro’s Cuba. This movie was sold as starring Jayne Mansfield, who had just died, even though she’s only in it for a moment. I love how each person narrates their own scenes in the film, setting up who they are as we explore Hollywood from 1965 to 1967.

We start with hippie vegan Gypsy Boots and stripper Jennie Lee doing a Watusi dance before meeting S&H Green Stamp — points for anyone that remembers those — Lewis Beach Marvin III, who lived in a $10 a month garage while owning a mountain retreat in Malibu.

We also get to meet doomed hairstylist Jay Sebring, Ram Dass, Bobby Jameson (whose protests and suicide attempts became more of his story than his music), surfers, fashion designers, actresses, transexuals, child fashion models, Bobby Beausoleil and more.

This doesn’t get as scumtastic as most mondo. Your mileage, therefore, may vary.

Mondo Teeno (1967)

“Across the country, every Friday and Saturday night, they gather in the temples to perform ceremonial dances to a rhythm that seems to reach back in time. It’s called the beat.”

That’s how Mondo Teeno, also known as Teenage Rebellion, begins. Paired with Mondo Mod on drive-in screens across the country in 1967, it gave the non-big city kids the low down on what was going on on the Sunset Strip, in Paris and on Carnaby Street with the real British mods. Go-go dancing? Yep. Bikers? You bet. Surfing? Totally.

Burt Topper — yes, the director of The Strangler — has the voiceover here, reminding us just how strange it all is with these young folks protesting, selling their bodies, doing LSD and having wild beatnik shindigs. How shocking — gay people in Italy! Prostitutes in England! Yet today, this all seems positively quaint.

The music, however, is amazing. The soundtrack was produced by Mike Curb, who had a band called The Mike Curb Congregation, which had a song called “Burning Bridges” that was in the Clint Eastwood film Kelly’s Heroes. He also ran MGM Records, where he dropped 18 artists for their drug use, including The Velvet Underground and The Mothers of Invention, which is ironic as Frank Zappa often spoke out against drug use. The whole battle came to a head when his biggest artist, Eric Burdon, asked to be let go of his contract so he could keep doing drugs. He stayed.

Eventually, Ronald Reagan inspired Curb to serve the public. In 1979, he became the lieutenant governor of California for Jerry Brown’s second term before switching from Democrat to Republican, becoming the national co-chairman for Reagan’s 1980 campaign. Unlike many modern right wingers, Curb Curb has been a leading conservative supporter of gay rights and worked with Harvey Milk.

He also wrote an album with Hank Williams Jr., has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, is in the Nashville Musicians Hall of Fame and has been added to the West Coast Stock Car Hall of Fame. Check out these wild tunes:

The British scenes were directed by an uncredited Richard Lester (Superman II and III, as well as The Knack… and How to Get It and Help!), but the main film came from Eriprando Visconti and Norman T. Herman, who only would direct one other movie, Tokyo After Dark. That said, he did produce Bloody MamaRolling ThunderBlacula and Frogs.

Mondo Mod (1967)

As A.P. Stootsberry, Peter Perry Jr. made The Notorious CleopatraThe Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet and The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill. He used his real name to make this and Honeymoon of Terror.

This movie explores the Sunset Strip in 1966, which is everything from bars like the Pandora’s Box, Gazzarri’s, the Whisky A Go-Go and the Fifth Estate to learning about karate, surfing, pot, protests and go-karts.

This movie stars “The Youth of the World,” which seems to be every kid alive in 1966, but trust me, it’s a select crew here.

It’s all narrated by Humble Harve Miller, who was a huge star at Los Angeles’ KHJ-AM, the same station that “The Real Deal” Don Steele was at. However, in 1971, Harve had a major tiff with his wife that ended with him shooting and killing her. He was able to get his charges lowered to second-degree murder, claiming that in a fight over the gun, she was accidentally shot.

He spent three years in jail, teaching other inmates how to succeed in radio and recording books for the blind. When he got out, he went right back on the air. At the height of his career, one in four people in LA was listening to him and he has a 21.4 share, a number no one will ever get ever again.

The cinematographers of this movie, Lazlo Kovans and Vilmos Szigmond, would go on to make some pretty influential films like Easy Rider and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

You can watch this on YouTube:

Mission Stardust (1967)

Known in Italy as 4…3…2…1…Morte, this Primo Zeglio-directed science fiction movie is based on the German book series Perry Rhodan by K.H. Scheer and Walter Ernsting.

Looking for radioactive material that can be more powerful than uranium, Major Perry Rhodan (Lang Jeffries, The JunkmanSpies Strike Silently) leads the four-man crew of the Stardust on a moon mission. There, he attempts to help Commander Thora (Essy Persson, Cry of the Banshee) save a scientist named Crest (John Karlsen, The Church). Of course, there’s a traitor, a crime lord, some robots and plenty of shenanigans.

You can watch it for yourself on YouTube:

Santo vs. the Martian Invasion (1967)

Santo has battled everyone from his fellow wrestlers to zombies, vampires, vampire women, the King of Crime, evil wax figures, a Hotel of Death, the Strangler, the Ghost of the Strangler and Satanic Power at this point. So yes, it was time to put Martians into the camel clutch.

Santo battles Wolf Ruvinskis, who also played Neutron, and who was also a luchador. He also goes up against Maura Monti, who played The Batwoman. Yes, Martian women have come here and they’re ready to take all our masked wrestlers.

The Martians have Astral Eyes on the top of their heads, which allow them to disintegrate human beings. Luckily, they can’t last long in our atmosphere. And even their most comely interstellar lasses can’t seduce El Enmascarado de Plata.

There’s also a bad guy named Hercules who unmasks Santo, played by Spanish wrestler Benny Galant, who for some reason acted as a Frenchman while in Mexico. Santo pulls a Mil Mascaras years before that was a thing and has another mask underneath, screwing over that red planet rudo. Hurricane Ramirez — a wrestler who started as a movie character before becoming the real thing played by Eduardo Bonada — is in this, if you’re interested in 1960’s luchadors.

I mean, Mexican wrestlers fight aliens. Life can be perfect, if you allow it to be.

Goldface, the Fantastic Superman (1967)

Bitto Albertini may be better known for Black Emanuelle and his two bonkers mondo efforts, Safari Rally and Naked and Cruel or his giallo Human Cobras or his other two Emanuelle films — Black Emanuelle 2 and Yellow Emanuelle. You may also know him for his sequel to Starcrash (Escape from Galaxy 3) or his Shanghai Joe sequel (Return of Shanghai Joe) or his three Three Fantastic Supermen sequels (Three Supermen in Tokyo, Three Supermen in the Jungle and Supermen Against the Orient). Basically, I’m here to tell you that he’s known for everything but this Eurospy/lucha libre effort.

I’m here to change all that.

This movie has everything you want: a villain named the Cobra who has relationship issues. A hero named Goldface who also has 99 problems and Pamela — his girl — is all of them. And tons of Caracas, Venezuela’s finest pro wrestlers, who have lengthy battles that take up much of this movie’s screentime.

This is the kind of movie that I sit on the couch and scream at the TV until my wife tells me that I have to start settling down.

The Cobra is destroying industry all over Venezuela and asks for just $2 million dollars to settle down. That seems like a paltry sum. Maybe that’s why Number 2, who seems like his girlfriend, has so many issues with him. When the good guys attack ala Thunderball at the end, he wants to run away. She basically has to goad him into giving his soldiers a speech to get them fired up. She’s the kind of girlfriend that gets you into fistfights with numerous people at bars because someone disrespected her. Except, you know, these aren’t drunken hijinks, this is an entire army led by a masked wrestler with a cape and a submachine gun.

The Cobra has great clothes, like a long-length kimono that covers part of his face. Maybe he wears that to hide him talking under his breath at Number 2 when she makes him do things that he doesn’t want to. If you were dealing with her — she’s played by Evi Marandi from Bava’s Planet of the Vampires — you’d probably do anything she asks too.

The Cobra only rises every thousand years. He’ll be sure to tell you that many, many times in this movie. But hey — are you surprised that The Cobra ends up being one of the very industrialists that he’s trying to scam? He just isn’t sure of his idealogy, but what bad guy is?

Goldface doesn’t have it so easy either. He’s in love with Pamela — who the Cobra keeps trying to kill — but she doesn’t love his scientist alter ego Doctor Vilar. She’s only into that sweet, sweet Goldface. I mean, scientist or pro wrestler? I know where I stand on this longstanding argument. Well, then again, Goldface is pretty much sleeping with every single woman that he gets close to, so his problems aren’t really problems. Even his assistants in his lab are attractive ladies always down for some…experiments.

Our hero is played by Espartaco Santoni, who was in Lisa and the DevilDeath Will Have Your Eyes and The Feast of Satan. He had a lot in common with Goldface, as he was married eight times — actresses Teresa Velázquez (The Killer Must Kill Again), Marujita Díaz and Carmen Cervera (the Ted Mikels-written Missile X: The Neutron Bomb Incident) were three of his ex’s — and romantically linked to Ursula Andress, Princess Caroline of Monaco and Danger: Diabolik godess Marisa Mell. After his acting career ended, he ran disco pubs in Spain.

Goldface has a sidekick named Kotar — yes, just like Lothar in The Phantom — who dresses like an African tribesman, bugs his eyes out, speaks gibberish and loves peanuts. Yes, it’s as racist as 1967 was. And Albertini would make plenty more movies that define problematic to today’s eyes. Anyways, Kotar is played by Cuban actor Mario Lotario, who was also in a lot of Venezuelan movies and TV shows.

The end of this movie is astounding, because it isn’t Goldface who ends up taking out the bad guy. No, he falls out of a helicopter and the military forces — anonymous men who are unmasked and not trying to be superheroes — are the ones who kill The Cobra, not long after Number 2 is shot by Pamela. It’s kind of depressing.

The true ending is when Pamela does a run-in to Goldface’s big match — his one-footed dropkicks suck — and pins him to win his heart. She also looks way trashier and hotter than she does in the rest of the movie, kind of like when Ms. Elizabeth joined the NWO. Bravo to all concerned.

Death On the Run (1967)

Jason (Ty Hardin, Berserk) is a thief being taken back to Greece to do some jail time. However, he escapes and is forced to steal a tooth out of a dead man’s mouth to get a piece of microfilm. This leads to him being chased by everyone, including Michael Rennie (Klaatu from The Day the Eath Stood Still), Gordon Mitchell (Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks), the cops and two gangs.

His only help? His best friend Pizza and a dancer named Greta. You can do worse than to spend 90 minutes or so with a Sergio Corbucci-directed Eurospy film, even if this one’s a bit more serious than most of the fare that I enjoy.

You can watch it on YouTube:

The Cobra (1967)

Mario Sequi made The Tramplers, a spaghetti western with Charles Band’s father Albert before this Eurospy film, which is all about Captain Kelly (Dana Andrews, who shows up in plenty of other spy films like Bang You’re Dead, Spy In Your Eye, The Satan Bug and Innocent Bystanders).

Peter Martell from Franco’s Killer Barbys vs. Dracula and Death Walks at Midnight is in this, as is George Eastman, who we all know is the patron saint of B&S About Movies. Elisa Montes from Franco’s 99 Women and Anita Ekberg also show up. Ekberg is best known for La Dolce Vita, but she also shows up in Killer Nun and S*H*E*, as well as the Bob Dylan song “I Shall Be Free.” Dylan sang, “Well, my telephone rang, it would not stop / It’s President Kennedy calling me up / He said, “My friend, Bob What do we need to make the country grow?” / I said, “My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot, Anita Ekberg, Sophia Loren.” / Country’ll grow.”

You can watch this on YouTube: