THE CHATTANOOGA FILM FESTIVAL ANNOUNCES SECOND HALF OF VIRTUAL LINEUP!

Posted on June 3, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

UPDATE: There are three new things to add to this list!

CFF SALUTES UP ALL NIGHT AND RHONDA SHEAR
From 1989 to 1998, if you were a fan of genre cinema, you knew where to turn every Friday and Saturday night. USA Up All Night was home to curated cult and horror cinema, and it introduced legions of cinephiles to weird and wonderful worlds they had no idea existed (or maybe they did know, and their parents forbid them to look!). It also brought the classic concept of the movie host into a whole new era and regularly featured skits, comedy, and killer special guests (THE RAMONES!!!).

Initially hosted by the late great Gilbert Gottfried, Up All Night kicked things into high gear in 1991 when the tenure of its best known and most beloved host, Rhonda Shear, began. Rhonda had a background in everything from modeling to comedy. Her quick wit and unforgettable enunciation of the show’s name (even now, we’re sure you’re hearing it in your head!) made the show a cult hit for an entire generation of cinephiles.

A badass to this very day, Rhonda is now a best-selling author and a wildly successful entrepreneur known worldwide for her, inclusive of all body types, Rhonda Shear Intimates products, and her ongoing charity work with the American Cancer Society. From her tenure on Up All Night to her appearances everywhere, from Spaceballs to Full House, you’re not going to want to miss this one, folks. Join CFF as we salute Rhonda and have a fascinating career spanning chat with one of the true queens of genre cinema.

THE SNAKE GIRL AND THE SILVER-HAIRED WITCH: This movie feels like it was dreamed into existence. When a girl named Sayuri is reunited with her family after years in an orphanage, she’s plagued with phantasmagorical visions involving a fanged demon, wild monsters, and murder by snakes. And it only gets weirder from there. Directed by Noriaki Yuasa (the co-creator of the Gamera series) and adapted from the work of manga pioneer Kazuo Umezu, The Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Witch is a stylish, theremin-fueled gothic nightmare that’s easily the most traumatizing movie ever aimed at a kids audience. Salvador Dali would be proud.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m excited about this upcoming festival and wanted to pass on what’s playing there. Look for reviews of as many of these movies as I can do! You can learn more at the official site.

As the Chattanooga Film Festival (CFF) dates of June 23rd – 28th draw near, festival organizers are excited to announce the second and final wave of programming, consisting of 20 additional features, six blocks of short films, and a selection of events that can be described as magical because there is magic happening—literally.

Highlighting the second half of CFF’s feature film lineup is a trio of world premieres. Leading the pack is CFF 2022’s Opening Night Film THE LEECH, from filmmaker and CFF alumni Eric Pennycoff. Pennycoff follows up his debut feature SADISTIC INTENTIONS with another wild piece of cinema ready-made for CFF’s audience and starring genre favorites Jeremy Gardner and Graham Skipper.

Also making its world premiere debut is filmmaker Alana Purcell’s charming comedy/drama TRUE BELIEVER. In the film, which won over the genre-hardened hearts of the festival’s entire programming team, siblings discover family secrets at a quirky cabin in the desert.

In the festival’s Closing Night slot is the world premiere of Greg Swinson and Ryan Thiessen’s lean and mean thriller NIGHT SHIFT, leaving CFF’s 2022 attendees with their blood pumping and eyeballs ready for whatever the talented duo of directors makes next.

Previously, the festival held multiple secret screenings, but there’s only one—by design—this year. This Secret Screening will allow CFF 2022 VIP Badgeholders to be some of the first to experience one of the year’s sure-fire home runs for genre film fans. So steeped in mystery and majesty is this year’s secret screening that the festival has begun releasing a series of codes and clues surrounding the screening. Film fans can email their guesses to secrets@chattfilmfest.org. The first lucky fan to guess the screening will win a badge to attend CFF 2023.

As usual, CFF’s shorts blocks are a veritable smorgasbord of quality short cinema sure to impress and occasionally bewilder. These shorts blocks are being presided over by fan favorites and CFF alumni Andre Gower and Ryan Lambert of THE MONSTER SQUAD. The shorts lineup for 2022 includes more than 70 short films, comprising six feature-length blocks packed with new work from returning filmmakers Izzy Lee, Chris McInroy, and Beck Kitsis.

Rounding out this year’s live events are A MAGICAL ASS EVENING of, well, magic with filmmaker of the previously announced CFF 2022 selection BREATHING HAPPY and world-class magician Shane Brady; Eric Pennycoff, Jeremy Gardner, and Graham Skipper presenting a LIVE COMMENTARY TRACK recording along with other members of the cast and crew of THE LEECH!; Plus CFF will be welcoming filmmaker and film historians Stephen Scarlata (JODOROWSKY’S DUNE) and Josh Miller (SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1 and 2) for a special live episode of their acclaimed podcast THE BEST MOVIES NEVER MADE.

CFF badge holders can attend nightly watch parties on the festival’s round-the-clock insanity that is the Discord Server. A schedule of events will be released closer to the festival, along with details on certain films that will only be open to badge holders without individual tickets available. Individual tickets for applicable feature films and the shorts blocks will be available 48 hours before the festival starts on June 23rd. VIP badges are available now at chattfilmfest.org.

FEATURE FILMS

A PURE PLACE (Director: Nikias Chryssos | 2021 | 91 mins | Drama/Folk-Horror | Germany/Greece | German/Greek): Award-winning director Nikias Chryssos (DER BUNKER) follows up on his success with the story of a young and feverish boy named Paul who must challenge the obsessive community that surrounds him in order to free his sister from the nefarious conspirations of the cult leader, Fust.

CRYO (Director: Barrett Burgin | 2022 | 118 mins | Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller | United States | English): Trapped in an underground facility, five scientists wake from cryogenic sleep with no memory of who they are or how long they’ve been asleep. They soon make a shocking realization: a killer is hunting them down there, and may even be hiding among them.

GIVING BIRTH TO A BUTTERFLY (Director: Theodore Schaefer | 2021 | 77 mins | Arthouse/Drama | United States | English): After having her identity stolen, a woman, and her son’s pregnant girlfriend, bond together on a surreal journey as they attempt to track down the perpetrators.

MAKE POPULAR MOVIES (Director: Bryan Connolly | 2022 | 74 mins | Comedy | United States | English): A self-important filmmaker aspires to change cinema. An actress and actor languishing in commercial hell gets cast. Through this journey they find fame and emotional destruction. Hooray for Hollywood! A slapstick absurdist film about how people create and view movies in the 21st Century.

MOTHER MIDNIGHT (Director: Mike Beech | 2022 | 96 mins | Drama | South Korea | Korean): Twenty-something Jiwon attempts to deal with the loss of her mother and her father’s worsening drinking. Faced with a violent neighbor threatening the family, and complicated love life, she accepts the aid of a local shaman.

MYSTERY SPOT (Director: Mel House | 2020 | 111 mins | Drama/Horror | United States | English): A number of lost souls find refuge in a small motel in the middle of nowhere, its only distinguishing characteristic being the ruins of an old Mystery Spot—a long-dead roadside attraction with strange metaphysical powers. Nathan and Rachel find solace in one another, both attempting to escape dark pasts that seem to be using the Mystery Spot to go from being painful shadows of their lives to very real entities of the present. Everyone at the Mystery Spot will be affected by its unique properties, but only some will survive its reality-shattering implications.

NIGHT SHIFT – World Premiere – Closing Night Film (Directors: Greg Swinson, Ryan Thiessen | 2022 | 98 mins | Thriller | United States | English): After a break-in occurs during her first night on the job, the lone night shift janitor must fight to survive when she becomes the target of the masked intruders.

PHANTOM PROJECT (Director Roberto Doveris | 2022 | 97 mins | Arthouse/LGBT | Chile | Spanish): In filmmaker Roberto Doveris’s heartwarming LGBTQ+ Chilean comedy, we follow Pablo, a young actor who dreams of starring in a movie, but to pay the bills, he has to work as a simulated patient in medical schools and bizarre alternative therapy sessions.

SECRET SCREENING (Director XXXXX | 2022 | ?? min | REDACTED | United States | English | REDACTED): Though the CFF Secret Screening has long been a sacred tradition of our festival, this year’s truly takes the cake. We’re so excited about this one we’ve decided to shroud it even more in mysterious ass mystery than our past secret screenings. Yeah, we know there was that one time we made y’all join a cult before we started the movie, but it was obviously totally worth it! We’ve already begun dropping cryptic hints and badly rhyming clues for eagled-eyed festival attendees, and we’ve set up the email address secrets@chattfilmfest.org if you’d like to venture a guess as to what this year’s secret screening is. The first person to email us with a correct answer will get a free VIP badge to CFF 2023. This screening is open to VIP Badge Holders only

SELF PORTRAIT (Director: Joële Walinga | 2021 | 68 mins | Experimental | Canada): A portrait of humanity as captured by its surveillance cameras.

THE ATTACHMENT DIARIES (Director: Valentín Javier Diment | 2021 | 102 mins | Erotic Thriller | Argentina | Spanish): Two troubled women on the edge see their lives intertwined when they embark on a vicious crusade of revenge, fueled by shifting passions and haunting secrets.

THE LEECH – World Premiere – Opening Night Film (Director: Eric Pennycoff | 2022 | 82 mins | Comedy/Horror | United States | English): A devout priest welcomes a struggling couple into his house at Christmas time. What begins as a simple act of kindness quickly becomes the ultimate test of faith once the sanctity of his home is jeopardized.

THE UNSETTLING (Director: Harry Owens | 2021 | 93 mins | Drama/Horror/Mystery | United States | English): Abena and Kwame are struggling to recover from a devastating tragedy. They travel to Los Angeles for a vacation that they hope will help them find their way back to one another. Instead, during an awkward dinner with estranged friends, Vivian and Anthony, Abena is increasingly terrorized by an evil possessing the house. As her terror grows, it ultimately engulfs all four with horrifying consequences.

WOLKA – North American Premiere (Director: Árni Ólafur Ásgeirsson | 2021 | 100 mins | Drama | Iceland/Poland | Polish): Anna gets paroled from a Polish prison after fifteen years behind bars. Once free, Anna has but one goal – to find a woman whose name is Dorota.

ZERIA (Director: Harry Cleven | 2021 | 61 mins | Animation/Sci-Fi | Belgium | French): Gaspard is the last man on Earth. Zeria, his grandson, is the first human to be born on Mars. Gaspard tells him about his life, his fears, his loves… in the hope Zeria will come to see him before he dies… Zeria would be the first human being to return to Earth without having ever known it…

SHORTS

CFF Salutes Your Shorts Short Film Showcase Vol 9.

54 MILES TO HOME, dir. Claire Haughey (USA); AM I THE TUB?, dir. Laura Shepard (USA); BREAK ANY SPELL, dir. Anton Jøsef (Canada); CRUISE, dir. Sam Rudykoff (Canada); DIRTBAG, dir. Karsten Runquist (USA); REKLAW, dir. Polaris Banks (USA); THE DROWNED, dir. Adam Park (UK); URSULA, dir. Hannah Heller (USA); WILD CARD, dir. Tipper Newton (USA)

Dangerous Visions Vol. 1 Horror and Genre Shorts Showcase

7 MINUTES IN HELL, dir. Shane Spiegel, Justin Reager (USA); BOX, dir. Jonathan Maxwell Shander (USA); COMMUNITY SERVICE, dir. Grayson Tyler Johnson (USA); LIVIN’ AFTER MIDNIGHT, dir. Tom von Dohlen (USA); MUNKIE, dir. Steven Chow (New Zealand); OFF LIMITS, dir. Megan Gorman (USA); SLEEP, dir. Alexandra Pechman (USA); SMILE, dir. Joanna Tsanis (Canada); STREAMER STALKER, dir. Gaelan Draper (USA); SUCKER, dir. Alix Austin (UK); SWOLE GHOST, dir, Tim Troemner (USA); THE SWEET SPOT, dir. Evan Enderle (USA); TRASH LIFE, dir. Jeffrey Owens, Dillon Vaughn (USA); THE WOODSMAN, dir. Kyle Kuchta (USA); WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHERS?, dir. Douglas Wicker (USA)

Dangerous Visions Vol. 2 Horror and Genre Shorts Showcase

BALL LIGHTNING, dir. Gavin M. DuBois (USA); DESTINATION: MOON, dir. Nathaniel JW Hendricks (USA); EXO SAPIEN, dir. James C. Williamson (South Africa); FOUND, dir. Jean Grant (USA); INCH THICK, KNEE DEEP, dir. Anatasha Blakely (USA); LOVE YOU, MAMA, dir. Alexandra Magistro (Canada); RED IS THE COLOR OF BEAUTY, dir. Beck Kitsis (USA); SPECTER OF WEEPING HILL, dir. Matthew Barber, Nathaniel Barber (USA); THE ANGST, dir. L. Gustavo Cooper (USA); THREE WAYS TO DINE WELL, dir. Alison Peirse (UK); VISITORS, dir. Kenichi Ugana (Japan); VOYEUR(S), dir. Arthur Delaire, Edouard de Luze (France); WEEE WOOO, dir. Charlie McWade (USA)

School House Block Student Film Showcase

BROKEN HEARTS, dir. Alessandra Lichtenfeld (USA); CYCLES, dir. Jakey Lutsko (USA); DARKSIDE, dir. Spencer Zimmerman (Canada); NAHRANI, dir. Simon Pfister (Germany); SKELETONS, dir. Steven Hedrick (USA); SPLIT ENDS, dir. Cookie Estés (USA); THE ROTTING OF CASEY CULPEPPER, dir. Daniel Slottje (USA); UNDERDOGS, dir. Alex Astrella (USA); WHY IS IT SO WARM ON CHRISTMAS, dir. CHOI Woo Gene (Republic of Korea); WISH YOU WERE HERE, dir. John Otteson (UK)

The Tennessee Entertainment Commission Presents the CFF 2022 Tennessee and Regional Filmmaker Showcase

DAYS COUNTED, dir. Chandler Gibson (USA); IN THE BALANCE, dir. Ryan Gentle, Austin Quarles (USA); ROGER MUST DIE, dir. Allison Shrum (USA); SHAPES – VARIATION III, dir. Matt Eslinger (USA); SOPHIE IN FURBYLAND, dir. Pacey Hansen (USA); THE DEVIL WILL RUN, dir. Noah Glenn (USA); THE MONSTER INSIDE, dir. Ashley Hammelman (USA)

WTF (Watch These Films) Strange and Magical Short Film Showcase

A NEW DAY (BROUGHT TO YOU BY HORIZON RESEARCH SYSTEMS), dir. Nate Southard (USA); ARGUS, dir. Ethan Barrett (USA); BIRDWATCHING, dir. Samantha Soule (USA); BUDDYMOVIE, dir. Ryan McGlade (USA); COHERENCE, dir. Patrick Scopick (Canada); CUBED ROW, dir. Gonzalo Nosal (USA); EVERY TIME WE MEET FOR ICE CREAM YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FACE EXPLODES, dir. Anthony Cousins (USA); FLOATERS DOT COM, dir. Stephen Girard (USA); GUTS, dir. Chris McInroy (USA); HELL HOLE, dir. Gregory Shultz (USA); HIGH HORSE, dir. Addie Doyle, Lee Hurst (USA); KHARON, dir. Casey T. Malone (USA); MEAT FRIEND, dir. Izzy Lee (USA); PRETTY PICKLE, dir. Jim Vendiola (USA); TAKE HIM DOWN, dir. Joe Raasch (Canada); THE BLOOD OF DINOSAURS, dir. Joseph Badon (USA); WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL, dir. Megan Duffy (USA)

EVENTS

THE LEECH – Live Commentary Track

Help celebrate CFF 2022’s opening night film as we join THE LEECH’s writer/director/producer Eric Pennycoff along with the film’s stars Jeremy Gardner, Graham Skipper, Taylor Zaudtke, and Rigo Garay for a cocktails (or mocktails!) encouraged live commentary track that will provide fun and fascinating insights into one of our wildest 2022 offerings.

CFF Presents: A Magical Ass Evening with Shane Brady

Not only is Shane Brady a talented actor/writer/director, he’s also one of the most gifted magicians working today. Though his magic skills are on full display in his new film BREATHING HAPPY, making its world premiere at this year’s fest, Shane has a hell of a lot more tricks up his sleeve (sorry, we couldn’t resist). Along with his lovely assistant—acting CFF Mayor David Lawson Jr.—Shane has graciously offered to regale CFF 2022 VIP Badge Holders with some of his signature magical badassery.

The Best Films Never Made Podcast

CFF is pleased to welcome filmmakers and film historians Stephen Scarlata (JODOROWSKY’S DUNE) and Josh Miller (SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1 and 2) for a special live episode of their acclaimed podcast in which the duo explores the most legendary movies NEVER made. Laugh and learn about the weird and wild world of cinema that almost was!

The Return of the Monster Squad

Our ride-or-die homies for life, Andre Gower and Ryan Lambert, stars of earth’s finest film, THE MONSTER SQUAD, make their triumphant return to CFF. They’ll be acting as hosts for our Dangerous Visions and WTF Shorts blocks and leading Q&A sessions with this year’s attending filmmakers. This year’s CFF shorts RULE so we hope you’re ready to ROCK UNTIL YOU DROP.

THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER, Double Feature w/ Live Cast & Crew Dispatches

We’ve got your Saturday night all planned out for you: Join us on the official CFF 2022 Discord Server for a Double Feature Picture Show of the wildest order; we’ll be watching filmmaker Jay Burleson’s THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER PART V! Immediately followed by THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER PART I (trust us, this is the order in which you want to experience them). Throughout the watch party we’ll be getting live dispatches and updates from the cast and crew’s private screening, and we honestly can’t wait to share in celebrating this fantastic pair of films with you.

There are also these movies announced in wave 1:

1000 DREAMS
BITCH ASS
BREATHING HAPPY
CHICKEN HOUSE
DAWN BREAKS BEHIND THE EYES
GATEWAY
HONEYCOMB
INTERFACE
LANDLOCKED
MIKE MIGNOLA: DRAWING MONSTERS
ONE ROAD TO QUARTZSITE
THE HISTORY OF METAL AND HORROR
THE ONES YOU DIDN’T BURN
THE OUTWATERS
THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER PART 1
THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER PART V
THRILLING BLOODY SWORD
TIMEKEEPERS OF ETERNITY
WULVER’S STANE

Tales from the Dark Side pilot: “Trick or Treat”

Posted on June 3, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But…there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit…a dark side.”

Back in the mid-80s, the success of Creepshow led to the thought of making a continuing TV series. The problem was that Warner Bros. owned part of that film, so Laurel Entertainment just changed the name and avoided the comic book look of the movie while basically making a weekly live-action E.C. Comic-themed TV show, something HBO wouldn’t even consider until 1989.

Syndicated weekly by Tribune Broadcasting, with most stations airing it after midnight — it aired at the witching hour on Sundays and sometimes even later, keeping me awake and frightened before middle school — it played throughout the 80s and is now owned by CBS Television Distribution.

There are some great episodes of this show, with episodes based on stories by Stephen King, Frederik Pohl, Harlan Ellison, Clive Barker and Robert Bloch. And because it was executive produced by George A. Romero, Richard P. Rubinstein and Jerry Golod, it attracted some great talent. And yes, like most anthologies, there are some real stinkers. There are also some great episodes as well and hey — they’re only 20 minutes each, so you aren’t wasting much time.

This pilot episode aired on the very appropriate date of October 29, 1983 and tells the story of shopkeeper Gideon Hackles (Bernard Hughes, Grandpa from The Lost Boys), who puts the town through his Halloween fun. All year long everyone runs up huge debts buying his supplies and on October 31, their children try to pay those debts by finding the IOUs hidden in his house of horrors, always disappointing their parents.

Hackles hates the town he lives in, hates the people and has one night of joy, a night of abusing children. He’s turned generations into slaves to his general store and also ones that are left with nightmares of the scares that live within his home. One child has been coached by his father all year long, only to fail. But one other has promised himself that he will free his family from the crushing yoke of owing, owing, owing. I get it. Trust me, I get it. I’d go into any number of haunted homes to try and get out from under all that we owe.

Written by Franco Amurri (the Italian director of Flashback and Monkey Trouble, as well as the writer of the Jodie Foster-directed episode “Do Not Open This Box” which was part of the Stephen King’s Golden Tales VHS release that collected all of that author’s stories on this show) and Romero, this episode is directed by Bob Balaban, the director of My Boyfriend’s Back and an actor you may remember as Dr. Theodore W. Millbank, III in Best In Show, Jonathan Steinbloom in A Mighty Wind and Lloyd Miller in Waiting for Guffman.

The pilot was a big ratings hit and the show was on the air. Future episodes may not have had this one’s budget or quality, but the fact that we had a weekly horror show to watch was a big deal back in the early 80s. And hey — Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie is the movie that Creepshow 3 should be.

Stay tuned — now that Circle of Fear/Ghost Story is done, I’ll be watching a new episode every week. Would you like to cover one? Just let me know!

Unhuman (2022)

Posted on June 3, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

Just like Torn Hearts, Unhuman is a movie from Blumhouse Television that I enjoyed way more than their theatrical releases. Seven misfit students — there’s one for every cliche, but stay tuned — must join forces when their field trip is tested by an Emergency Broadcast System warning of a chemical incident and, you guessed it, the living dead.

Director and co-writer Marcus Dunstan is probably best known for his work on The Collection and The Collector, as well as writing Feast, several Saw movies and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. He’s joined by Patrick Melton, who he wrote those films, as well as Piranha 3DD and the upcoming The Collected with.

Brianne Tju from the remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer is the lead in this, along with Drew Schneid from the modern Halloween movies, Uriah Shelton from Freaky, Benjamin Wadsworth from TV’s Deadly Class, Ali Gallo, Joshua Mikel from The Walking Dead, Peter Giles (who will be The Collector in the upcoming The Collected) and several other young actors to fill out the school bus full of potential victims.

Billed as a “Blumhouse After-School Special,” this movie has a twist that shifts the story midway through, something that some critics haven’t seemed to enjoy. As for me, I approached this movie as not “what can the Saw creative do” and more a fun summer TV movie that I could enjoy without thinking about the world outside my door.

Don’t go in expecting Nightmare City or Day of the Dead. Do expect goofy, neon and smoke-filled bubble gum fun. I doubt you’ll learn a lesson, but is that why you watched after-school specials anyway?

Unhuman is now streaming from Blumhouse Television and EPIX.

Junesploitation 2022: Zui hou nu (1979)

Posted on June 3, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

June 3: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is martial arts! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

Chi-Hwa Chen directed Jackie Chan in some of his earliest successes, like Half a Loaf of Kung Fu and Police Story. For this movie, he enters the fantastic and tells us the legend of Ming Ling Shur (Kam Fung-ling), a girl raised by apes and in the world of Hong Kong martial arts cinema, that means that she also has a fighting style based on the monkey that allows her to oufight nearly anyone.

Sadly, she falls for the wrong man, the prince (Chen Sing) that she serves as the guard for. He’s just using her to become emperor, but she wants love, so she gets a makeover — some have called this She’s All That mixed with Wolf Devil Woman and you know, yes as many times as I can say yes — and loses most of her powers. That means that she needs to relearn all of her martial arts abilities in time to battle a killer (Lo Lieh) and prove that the prince was the one behind the scheme to steal the crown.

Better titled The Ape Girl, we can consider Ming Ling Shut the Iron Monkey in fighting style and trickster ability. Despite being only a feral girl, she also somehow has a taile, yet the film never explains where she came from. You just accept these things and enjoy things like the opening where she does monkey style kung-fu intercut with a chimpanzee.

Luckily, even when our heroine becomes a gorgeous human, she retains her tail and remembers that everyone shunned her when she was more simian in appearance. Her master didn’t want her to become human, as he knew she’d have her heart broken, and there’s a lesson there for all of us.

So how does she make the great change? Her master’s wife puts her in a barrel for three days and pours special chemicals on her that make her transform into a woman with a tail. It’s pretty astounding.

Not many movies have flying monkey women who can choke men out with their prenhensile tails, so you should take this one and hold it close to your heart.

You can watch this on Tubi. The print is battered into oblivion and sometimes, that makes a movie that much better.

GET READY TO GET BLOODY THIS SATURDAY ON THE DIA DOUBLE FEATURE!

Posted on June 3, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

Get ready to join Bill and me on the Groovy Doom Facebook and YouTube pages at 8 PM this Saturday for two insane movies!

Up first — Cemetery of Terror which is on Tubi. If you want to read more about this movie, you can get Drive-In Asylum #19 at the etsy store.

Every week, we discuss the movie, take a look at a film’s ad campaign and even make a cocktail to go with it. Here’s the first one! Drink responsibly.

Devlon’s Axe

1 oz. tequila
1 oz. Malibu rum
3 oz. pineapple juice
3/4 oz. simple syrup
3/4 oz. lemon juice
Dash of pepper
Dash of hot sauce

Pour tequila, rum, pineapple juice, simple syrup and lemon juice in a shaker with ice and throttle like you’re an undead killer attacking a teenager who brought you back from the grave.
Pour into a glass, then if you’re brave, sprinkle some pepper and hot sauce on top.

The second movie is Blood Mania which is on YouTube.

Here’s the drink for the second film.

Bloody Poppers

2 oz. vodka
2 oz. triple sec
2 oz. cranberry juice
2 oz. orange juice
1 tbsp. grenadine syrup
Sparkling water

Shake all ingredients other than the sparkling water in a shaker with ice.
Pour into a glass and float sparkling water to taste over your drink.

See you on Saturday!

The Master Ninja 2 (1984)

Posted on June 2, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

The second movie of The Master — it’s really episodes 3 and 4 of the show — is probably best known for airing on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yet for those alive in 1984 who loved all things ninja, the idea that we could see Sho Kosugi on NBC once a week was a big deal.

The first part, taken from the episode called “State of the Union,” has McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) and Keller (Timothy Van Patten) dealing with union issues. This may point to my issues as a kid with this series. I had no interest in the human world of this show. I wanted ninja fights. If you read this site on any basis, you will realize this has not changed.

So if you want to see a ninja help Crystal Bernard from Wings then this would be the movie for you to watch.

This section is directed by Alan Meyerson, who also directed Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach and Private Lessons. The script was from staff writer Susan Woolen.

Woolen would also write the script for “Hostages,” directed by Ray Austin, which has our ninja master and his young student save a senator’s daughter. Randi Brooks (Cherry from TerrorVision), George Lazenby and David McCallum show up as this turns into an espionage film when again, all we want is ninja on ninja.

Of course, I wanted to be Sho Kosugi as a kid.

I still do as an old man.

The Master Ninja (1984)

Posted on June 2, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

There was no one more important in middle school than Sho Kosugi. In retrospect, we should have worshipped him even more, because without him bringing the weapons and skills to Cannon’s Enter the Ninja, we would not have the ninja elements that have been used in everything from G.I. Joe to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, video games and a million Godfrey Ho movies.

You can’t imagine the literal madness when the idea that Sho would be on TV every single week became common knowledge.

From January 20 to August 31, 1984, NBC aired thirteen episodes of the adventures of John Peter McAllister (Lee Van Cleef). Let me just quote the narration at the beginning of each episode: “John Peter McAllister, the only Occidental American to achieve the martial arts discipline of a ninja. Once part of a secret sect he wanted to leave, but was marked for death by his fellow ninjas. He’s searching for a daughter he didn’t know he had; pursued by Okasa, once the Master’s student, now sworn to kill him. That Master found a new student. That’s me, Max Keller. But we knew Okasa would be behind us, in the shadows, ready to strike again.”

Max Keller may have been the unexciting Timothy Van Patten but the evil Okasa? That’s Sho Kosugi. Actually, Sho also was Van Cleef’s fight double, the series’ fight choreographer, ninja technical advisor and stunt coordinator.

While the show was cancelled in less than a year, seven movies were made out of the episodes. In the U.S., they had the simple title of The Master Ninja, but in Europe they got rad names like Ninja – The Shadows Kill and The Ninja Man.

The first film is episodes one and two of the series. In the first, Peter meets Max and together they help the Trumbulls (Claude Atkins and Demi Moore) save their airport from the sheer evil that is Clu Gullagher. And if you wondered, does Gene LeBell show up, you have seen more than enough American kung fu movies. This was directed by Robert Clouse, who certainly understood how to shoot martial arts thanks to being the director of Enter the Dragon, Game of Death, Golden Needles, Battle Creek Brawl, Gymkata and Deadly Eyes (actually, that was has chihuahuas dressed as killer rats). It was written by series creator Michael Sloan, who also created The Equalizer and wrote for the reboot of Kung Fu in the 90s.

The second part, “Out-of-Time-Step” finds the Master and Max helping a dance club as he searches for his daughter. Lori Lethin (Bloody Birthday), Brian Tochi (Takashi from Revenge of the Nerds; more to the point of ninjitsu the voice of Leonardo the ninja turtle) and Swamp Thing Dick Durock all are on hand. This portion was from director Ray Austin, who directed the 80s returns of the Man from U.N.C.L.E. and the Six Million Dollar Man and written by Susan Woolen, who acted in both of those reboots.

Isn’t it strange that in order for western audiences to accept ninjas that we needed Italian western heroes to ease the transition, with Franco Nero battling Kosugi in Enter the Ninja and Lee Van Cleef here? Did no one want to see Jack Palance wear those cool ninja shoes?

Ninja Night Thunder Fox (1988)

Posted on June 2, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

Brad and Bonnie may share a detective agency but as soon as you realize that Godfrey Ho directed this, the sooner you’ll come to accept that Brad (Marko Ritchie) and Bonnie (Hsu Ying-Chu) are from two different movies that are only connected by the telephone, the same way that Chrissy Snow could keep talking to Janet Wood and Jack Tripper despite the contract negotiations of Suzanne Sommers.

How do we know we’re in America when we’re watching Brad speak to Bonnie by staring at her photo as if this is a late 80s Facetime? The Coca-Cola cans everywhere, of course.

After that call, Brad takes a call from a girl named Pam who wants to hire him to take her case before she’s killed by this movie’s big bad, Decker (Mike Abbott), who has bad guys in his employ from yet another movie, Tiger and Ringo. He’s running a modeling school that hooks girls on drugs and then into white slavery and somehow does this by uniting multiple films into one strange and branching narrative.

So what does the modeling school teach?

Aerobics.

Will Bonnie go there?

Of course.

She’s from a movie called Lover and Killer and she’s awesome.

Meanwhile, we keep cutting back to Brad, who somehow becomes a red ninja because suddenly someone remembered that this was a ninja movie and then it all ends with a gunfight.

Huh?

This is also known as Ninja Phantom Heroes. There are moments where you have no idea what is going to happen next or even where the story is and the confusion feels like when drugs work. When the high isn’t scary and you’re doing what Huxley said about the doors of perception and you’re just feeling that life makes sense because this ninja madness makes no sense whatsoever.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Posted on June 2, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

If you owned a Korean film called The Uninvited Guest Of The Star Ferry, it probably wouldn’t sell in the west. But what if you shot new footage of Supreme Ninja having his three greatest warriors — Ninja Masters Tamashi, Baron and Harry MacQueen (Richard Harrison) — celebrate the second decade of his power by assembling the Golden Ninja Warrior and making him impervious from swords, well, then you’d be able to sell that.

Godfrey Ho. Genius or madman? Maybe both?

Two years after the three ninjas took each part of the statue to keep their master from becoming too strong, Karada has killed the ninja Tamashi and Baron and Harry have been manipulated into battling one another. Will Supreme Ninja take the statue and reign forever?

So yes, that’s the basic plot. What I have not captured — I really don’t know if I can — is just how lunatic this movie gets, constantly introducing new characters and ideas and rarely following up on them, like if someone introduced Jack Kirby to manga and then slipped him some amphetamines. I also am writing this under the influence of COVID-19 and the way my brain has been going from lucid to foggy to sleep to pain to being exhausted in a matter of seconds feels exactly like this movie but in a way better way than not being able to breathe and needing to sanitize my hands every ten seconds.

Richard Harrison is a hero. I mean, yes, his career probably was ruined by Godfrey Ho repeatedly re-editing him into movies. I wish there was a way I could send him some cash by Paypal to make up for that because in this movie he wears a camouflage ninja suit and talks on a Garfield phone and honestly, I’ve never seen Robert Deniro do that.

There’s also a scene where one ninja can shoot fire out of his hands and another shoots ice and you know, that’s no CGI, it’s two dudes putting their lives on the line to entertain you thirty some years in the digital future. Also: sex scenes that refine the word gratuitous.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Ninja Warriors from Beyond (1987)

Posted on June 2, 2022 by bandsaboutmovies

Also known as Ninja Death Squad, this comes from Godfrey Ho, who created at least a hundred movies from ten movies or so the legend goes. All with ninjas. Sometimes he would shoot new footage of ninja fights and throw them into other films. Sometimes, you have no idea if what you are watching is new, old, a movie he made or something he stole and this can all happen within the same thirty seconds of footage.

Starting at Shaw Brothers as an assistant director to Chang Cheh, Ho eventually become the person behind an array of movies that have interchangeable titles and reused Richard Harrison so many times that he ruined that actor’s career.

He’s also a man of mystery — his multiple names number as many as Bruno Mattei, the director he most closely resembles — and his company with Tomas Tang may be a misnomer because he very well could be Tomas Tang. Regardless, IFD purchased tons of movies from numerous Asian-speaking countries for clearance prices and discovered that if Sho Kosugi wasn’t going to make twenty movies a year, they — or he! — certainly could.

According to Den of Geek, Lai had a falling out with Tang, who formed his own company, Filmark. Yet both companies — despite reports of a rivalry — used Godfrey Ho as a director and many of the same actors, so it was as if two companies were made to sell twice as much product.

Supposedly, Tang died in a fire. Ho would keep on making movies, particularly ones with Cynthia Rothrock.

Anyways…

This movie is edited at least in part from a film called Maestro Bandido. So some of this is about a gang of ninjas that specialize in killing for governments, all before they’re figured out and a special agent hunts them down. These ninjas all doing the best stuff, like turning flowers into bombs and summoning snakes, so their powers are beyond what you assume ninjas can do.

The bad guys are all in black. The good guy in white. And the leader is purple. That’s about the only things in this movie that you have to guide you. The rest, well, you’ll figure it all out.

You can watch this on Tubi.

B&S About Movies

B&S About Movies is owned and operated by Sam Panico. He is the sole proprietor and chief writer. All others are guest contributors.

Monthly Archives: June 2022

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GET READY TO GET BLOODY THIS SATURDAY ON THE DIA DOUBLE FEATURE!

The Master Ninja 2 (1984)

The Master Ninja (1984)

Ninja Night Thunder Fox (1988)

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Ninja Warriors from Beyond (1987)