April 4: World Rat Day — Celebrate this holiday by writing about a movie with a rat in it.

World Rat Day is observed every April 4 to honor the friendly, loyal, and intelligent nature of rats as pets and companions. While most “fancy rats” are known for their social bonds and ability to learn complex tricks, Hollywood usually prefers to cast them as the ultimate harbinger of doom.

If you’re looking to celebrate the loyal and intelligent side of these rodents, Rats (also known by the far more subtle title Killer Rats) is arguably the worst possible choice. 

Brookedale is a decaying architectural nightmare. Formerly a prison, it now functions as a high-security rehab facility for the rich and famous. It sits atop a labyrinth of ancient, stench-filled sewers, the kind of place where you’d expect to find a health code violation, not a miracle cure.

Samantha (Sara Downing) has gone undercover there, hoping to break a story about celebrity drug addicts. There’s just one person in charge, Dr. William Winslow (Ron Perlman), and he loves rats. Just digs them. Even has a pet rat. As a result of his experiments, the rats can all communicate telepathically, and there’s one big rat that rules them all. 

What does that have to do with treating addiction? Look, I didn’t write this movie. Jace Anderson, Boaz Davidson, Brian Irving and Adam Gierasch did. Yes, the writers of Mother of Tears joined up with the director of both Lemon Popsicle and The Last American Virgin to write this. Maybe that explains how a character gets the name Johnny Falls.

This was directed by Tibor Takács, who made The Gate and I, Madman, so we should forgive him for any of his direct-to-streaming and SyFy movies.

How you spend World Rat Day is your own decision to make. For me, I spent it watching Ron Perlman whisper to rodents while a giant animatronic rat terrorized a psychiatric ward.

Also: One time as a kid, I totally had a rat climb up the sewer and into a toilet that I was sitting on while everyone else watched Evel Knievel wipe out in Las Vegas. My grandfather stabbed it with a giant gold serving fork that my parents got for their wedding and had never used before.

You can watch this on Tubi.