The Glove (1979)

Sam Kellog (Sam’s favorite actor ever, John Saxon) was a cop, but now he’s a bounty hunter. Working for Bill Schwartz (Keenan Wynn, LaserblastThe Devil’s Rain!), a bail bondsman, he brings in lowlifes for low money. His biggest frustration is that his ex-wife is going to cut off visits with his daughter over missed alimony. Then he gets the chance to earn $20,000 from his old boss, Lt. Kruger.

The mark? Victor Hale (Rosey Grier, former football player, needlepoint expert and the man who subdued Sirhan Sirhan), an ex-con who is suspected in the murder of his former prison guards. While he was in the joint, they used a five-pound, leather and steel riot glove to brutalize him. Now, someone — probably him — is using it for revenge.

The movie switches between Kellog and Hale. Kellog’s life is a mess while Hale is beloved by the people who live in the section 8 housing alongside him. He’s a jazz musician and has found his place in life, even if he is killing all those old guards.

Finally, our protagonists battle one another, with Hale even giving Kellog the glove to use. Their fight is a draw and they both collapse. Hale then rises and helps the bounty hunter to his feet, only to be shot by Kruger, who says that the bounty was for bringing in the man dead, not alive. Hale’s neighbors surround the evil cop and murder him.

The result? Kellog gets the bounty anyway and spends the day with his daughter.

This movie also features Joanna Cassidy (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), Joan Blondell (The PhynxThe Blue Veil), Jack Carter (Alligator), Aldo Ray (Evils of the Night) and Michael Pataki (who is in probably more movies than anyone else we love other than Joh Saxon — witness Remo Williams: The Adventure BeginsHalloween 4The Return of Michael MyersGraduation DayDead and BuriedPink AngelsThe BabyAirport ’77 and many more).

It’s not a great movie, but it does have some great posters. And sometimes, that’s all you need to watch it.

GRANDSON OF MADE FOR TV MOVIE WEEK: The Stranger Within (1990)

1974. Grove’s Mill, Minnesota. Widow Mare Blackburn’s (Kate Jackson, Charlie’s Angels) loses her 3-year old son and never sees him again. And that’s just how this movie starts!

For sixteen years, Mare has blamed herself for the loss. But now, she’s finally found love again with Dan (Chris Sarandon, Fright Night), who has moved to Minneapolis after the suicide of his son.

Then, her son (Rick Shroeder, Silver Spoons) shows back up. At first, she doesn’t believe that it can be him. But he quickly gains her trust, as he knows plenty of things only her son could know.

Mare is pregnant again and not sure she wants to have the child. And Dan still isn’t sure that Mark is her son. After all, Mark claims to be from Emerald City, Idaho. That town does not exist.

Mark falls off the house and Dan saves his life. They talk and Mark shows him a birthmark that matches up to his baby photos. But Mark starts being a creep, telling Mark about the baby and knowing about his son’s suicide. He has no idea how to keep a secret, despite having so many of them himself.

Everything goes wrong when Mark shoves Dan into the water while ice fishing, then cuts all the power and phone cords to the house. He even shuts down in Mare’s car, trapping her in the house.

Yet when a cop comes, Mare has to finally listen to reason and learns that even if this man is not her son — a fact she’d be fine with — he’s also a dangerous maniac. He attacks the cop with a hammer and then tells her that it’s her fault that his life is so bad.

There’s a moment here where Mark says that there were other kids — there have certainly been other mothers that he’s killed — and it’s chilling, because he may have known Mare’s son. There are no easy answers. And luckily, the cop’s father shows up to save the day.

This TV movie — which originally aired on November 27, 1990 — was directed by Tom Holland, who also brought us Fright Night and Child’s Play. This is a tight movie, packed with drama and well worth seeking out. However, like most TV movies, you’re stuck looking on the grey market or YouTube.

PS – This is the first movie I’ve ever watched where Chris Sarandon’s character didn’t sell everyone out or prove to be untrustworthy. I still will never, ever fall for him in anything he does.

EVEN MORE FUCKED UP FUTURES: Empire of Ash (1988)

I’m going to tell you right now that this movie’s poster is like the metric system that Canada — this post-apocalyptic flick’s country of origin — uses. Whatever you plan on rating the film, double that and add thirty. That’s how much better the poster is than the actual thing you’re about to watch.

You should also know that one year after this movie was made, the filmmakers re-released it as a sequel to itself with new art and a new title, Empire of Ash II. It is, however, the same movie. This is the kind of absolute bullshit that makes me love movies and confounds me as I attempt to organize my collection.

Let me see if I can explain this properly: There are a bunch of bad guys called LARD (Leukocytes Acquisitors for Remission of Disease) who are killing everyone under the orders of a preacher. They also like to steal blood. There’s also an evil girl who dances in her leotard while staring intently at the camera.

There’s also a bad guy that has a rocket launcher hat. Yes, a rocket shoots off from his head, which seems to be the kind of dumb shit that even Cobra Commander would frown upon.

If the idea of chubby bikers shooting computers in Canada dressed up as New Idaho while post-apocalyptic vehicles meander about while hair metal plays makes you as happy as it does me, let me say that this movie is for you. It makes 1990: The Bronx Warriors look like a multi-million dollar movie, however. This is as low budget as it gets without a camcorder. But hey — we’re here to see people dress up in shoulder pads and shoot one another, not talk about how much movies cost.

You can grab this at Cult Action, which seems like some kind of scheme invented to take most of my paycheck. That site has way too many movies that I want.

An interview with the creators of Hitler Lives!

We watched and wrote about Hitler Lives! earlier this week and were excited when the creators agreed to answer our questions about this intriguing film.

B&S About Movies: Tell us who you are, your background and why you decided to make this project.

Stuart Roswell: My name is Stuart Rowsell, I am Creative Director of Bloodhound FX, a Sydney based special effects props manufacturing studio. I am also the Director of Hitler Lives!, which I like to describe as a deranged doom metal snuff film about Hitler’s private hell with puppets!!

My background is the visual arts. After completing a Bachelor of Arts in sculpture at university, I decided to follow up my obsession with special effects and start my own business in the Sydney film industry – which led to working as a Puppet Maker on many commercials and working as a Creature Technician on many feature films. Ultimately I decided that, with my film experience and a crew of good drinking mates, that we could all make a crazy little feature film ourselves, our own Eraserhead styled horror film…

Paul Hovey: I’m Paul Hovey. I started work as a labourer when I was 12, decided IT would be an easier way to make money when I was 16 so started my first business. I have worked in IT ostensibly since then with a Hotrod Workshop thrown in the middle. I now consult on enterprise strategy but when I met Stoo I was more delivery focused, thought – yeah sure, Hitler Lives!, interesting idea, happy to provide some guidance around project management etc. to people lined up for producer and so forth roles – when it came time for the rubber to hit the road – they vanished and Stoo and I had to decide, OK, screw them. Let’s make this film ourselves. I laid out what I expected of the end product – something that would pass iTunes store QC (the highest bar of all the streaming services) and we rolled up our sleeves and got started. Many talkers have come and gone over the life of the project leaving Stoo and I to teach ourselves their roles which I think ultimately delivered something as true to Stoo’s artistic vision as was practical, which was always my goal.

B&S: Have you had any backlash in regards to it being a Hitler movie?

SR: There are always those politically correct totalitarians who think history should be forgotten and people like Hitler should never be discussed – but we live in an age where world wars are a thing of the past and researching them and all the odd anomalies and mysteries that occurred within them is a fascination. Hitler lives! has only had a few harsh judgments – most people appreciate low-budget films for what they are, the film we made was only meant as a Trash Exploitation film, a surreal insight into the demented mind of Hitler, still living as a zombie-like creature in a bunker …  It was never made to offend anyone or cause controversy.

PH: Ergh, idiot comments from Millennial SJW types – Oh, I’ll read the name of the film and make a judgment – then post something trite.

Them “Why are you glorifying Hitler?”

Me – “Have you even watched the film?”

Them – Crickets – they’ve done their virtue signaling, patted themselves on the back and moved on.

Nothing serious, just annoying – but you have to have a thick skin to exist on the internet. Particularly if your movie is called Hitler Lives!

B&S: How did you compile all of the research that you had? Was there a certain book or piece of research that meant more to the project than others?

SR: Paul and I are conspiracy theorists – we are obsessed with what we are ‘not told’ in our history. Hitler’s escape from the Bunker and the hidden history of Nazi technologies, advanced 30 years ahead of any other nation at the time, was the real inspiration, especially Die Glocke…

PH: Yeah, what he said, I am fascinated by the breadcrumbs of the stories about Die Glocke and the mountain complex it was supposedly built in, Project Riese, 9km of tunnels, 20,000 strong labor force moving in and out every day – and not making munitions or planes – What were they doing?!? What was the henge for?!?

B&S: The effects are pretty amazing. Were there any challenges with them?

SR: We had no budget for high end animatronic creatures or complicated prosthetics – mostly due to the ‘theme’ of the film – so the budget was essentially zero. No one was going to help us with funding on a Hitler horror film!!! So we had to do the best we could with what we had and as with all low-budget films, the biggest challenge is making a $1 dollar prop look like $1000 dollar prop!!! If you have a collaborative process with a Producer like Paul, who helped with overall computer support, editing, and all the technical problems that come with cutting industry filmmaking corners – anyone can make their own movie.

PH: Ha, yes what he said – I took the filmmaking rulebook and in a lot of places said – well that seems unnecessarily expensive or convoluted and came up with a better way, for a “Monitor screen” which in film world costs $10,000 for a Kodak colour matched 8 inch screen that bolts onto a fancy camera rig, I replaced it with a spare 24 inch monitor I had and a wireless HDMI setup, it cost less than $100 and – same result – the monitor is for checking framing – not colour checks, to me that was just film industry wankery. Stoo knew the colour look he wanted and we knew the lenses/camera/lighting we had delivered that.

B&S: How did you find the actors for the film?

SR: I have been friends with Morte, Jay Katz and Rev Kriss Hades for many years and we had worked together on various commercials, short films and art projects. So for the feature film, I just needed to get them all in one place and make it happen – which was my Producer, Paul’s, own private hell!

PH: Yes, My patience was tested and more than once Stoo may have stopped me putting a head into a wall or going and kicking someone’s door down, throwing them in a van and delivering them to the studio…

B&S: So much of the movie is about the music that plays. How did you decide on the tone and what music would be in it?

SR: The soundtrack was a collaboration process, mostly between myself and Rev Kriss Hades. As we edited the film we discussed the various music and chose the songs that really struck a cord with the visuals.

PH: I may have blackmailed Kris into action as after 5 years of promises and no delivery I knocked out the entire soundtrack from samples in a weekend, when he saw what was done without him – Boom – He swung into action and pulled through in the end to produce something cool and creepy. Kris is a “Miracle at the last mile” kind of person though – it’s his trademark – getting him to work to a schedule is nigh on impossible though.

B&S: What movies influence you? Directors? If you had to choose a favorite film, what would it be?

SR: Personally I really enjoy the older classic movies, Universal Horror, Hammer Horror, 70’s Grindhouse Film, Exploitation Film, Extreme Trash Film, Horror and Mystery Film. Directors I admire are those who do amazing work on low-budgets; Whale, Corman, Bava, Fulci, Deodato, Argento, D’Amato, Romero, Hooper, Raimi, Carpenter, Craven, Lynch, Barker, Cronenberg, Miike etc … the megabudget films I will probably only watch once! Choosing a favorite film is virtually impossible as I have so many – if I had to choose one, it would probably be Frankenstein (1931).

PH: Carpenter is definitely my standout hero – followed by Lynch. Carpenter is a great storyteller and Lynch’s ability to create tension is unrivaled. Look out for prop choice and position in any lynch scene – they are all awkwardly mismatched or positioned – not overtly, just enough to make something in your head squirm – early Twin Peaks has some great examples. Like Stoo there is a long list and picking a favorite film is difficult but They Live is a real standout film for me.

B&S: Could you foresee a sequel to this? Or do you have a new project in mind?

SR: Making feature films with no budget is such an uphill battle, that I could never imagine revisiting this deranged bunker territory again …. a new Horror project is definitely in the works …

PH: Sequel, no. There’s definitely more meat on the bone story wise but there are other stories to tell. In the horror genre, I’d like to go back to the good old days on the 70’s and 80’s – Busty camper running through the woods, oh no, her shirt has fallen open as she trips (damned weak ankles!) now her boobs are flopping all over the place – and – Oh no, the killer is upon her! Entertainment that’s a little bit naughty, jump in your seat a few times scary but not in an over the top Saw kind of way, a lot silly but entertains you for 90 minutes. I do have a motor racing film project in mind, but the stars have to align (gap in my schedule) to focus on bringing that to life.

B&S: Thanks so much!

SR: Thank you Becca and Sam for your appreciation of our demented little film … Cheers.

PH: Ditto, really appreciate the time you took to watch, review and share your views, not many people catch the references in the film, it was so nice to see they resonated with you and you “Get it”

Don’t forget to check out the official site and get your own copy of Hitler Lives!

SPECIAL REPORT: Our trip to Scarecrow Video in Seattle!

All hail Scarecrow Video! On our trip to Seattle, I had only one request: to see this monument to movies in person. Nothing could prepare me for the experience.

How can a place like this stay in business? Simple. It’s status as a non-profit archive, which exists to bring people and film together.

For more than 28 years, Scarecrow’s devoted caretakers have slowly built the largest independently owned video and physical media library in the country, currently boasting over 130,000 titles. Plus, they offer help to the local film scene and unlike so many physical media places that have stayed alive, like comic book shops and record stores, they’re staffed by some of the friendliest people I’ve met.

But enough of me talking! Take a look at the amazing video footage they were kind enough to let me shoot. My mind is still blown as I’ve never been to a video store with a Sergio Martino or Bigfoot section before. Keep your eyes peeled at the end of video as I caught Becca in the TV murder shows room as she nearly broke down in tears at how much they had that she wanted to watch.

EVEN MORE FUCKED UP FUTURES: Soylent Green (1973)

As we were rewatching this film last week, Becca said, “It always seems so hot in this movie, everyone is sweating all the time.” And I replied, “Yeah. We’re kind of living in it now.” Yep, other than turning people into food and my stairwells being filled with sleeping people, the world of Soylent Green feels like its getting closer every single day.

Was Charlton Heston the poster boy of the apocalypse? Between this, Planet of the Apes and The Omega Man, Chuck was in a ton of end of the war films. This is based on Harry Harrison’s book Make Room, Make Room. Harrison’s writing may seem like slam bang science fiction action, but it hides in its heart plenty of satire and a marked disdain for violence and the military.

Heston plays NYPD detective Frank Thorn, who lives with his elderly police analyst Solomon Roth, played by Edward G. Robinson in his final role. I can barely watch him in this movie without being moved to tears, as he died from bladder cancer 12 days after filming ended. Heston said, “He knew while we were shooting, though we did not, that he was terminally ill. He never missed an hour of work, nor was late to a call. He never was less than the consummate professional he had been all his life. I’m still haunted, though, by the knowledge that the very last scene he played in the picture, which he knew was the last day’s acting he would ever do, was his death scene. I know why I was so overwhelmingly moved playing it with him.” That scene decimates me every single time that I watch it, as Solomon realizes that his time, a time that remembers the past (he’s one of the few alive who can read from old books) is now gone. As he lies in state as part of the euthanasia process, Thorn tries in vain to stop him but is soon mesmerized by the footage of extinct animals and a once green world.

Outside of Sol, everyone in this film is corrupt. Thorn and his fellow cops steal everything they can from the murder scenes that they investigate when they aren’t being riot cops, using bulldozers to lift people and throw them in the air. He even takes advantage of murder victim William R. Simonson’s (Joseph Cotten!) live-in lover, Shiri (some women in the future are allowed to be concubines and live in luxury; Thorn refers to her as furniture). And Chuck Connors shows up as Simonson’s bodyguard.

This film frightens me because so much of it is prophetic. The Twin Towers are gone in this future. The things that Sol says to Thorn, like “Ocean’s dying, plankton’s dying” are happening as well. This movie is nearly fifty years old and predicts the greenhouse effect that so many people don’t want to see is happening.

Director Richard Fleischer would go on to have a career of ups and downs. The son of animator Max Fleischer, he’d also direct Amityville 3-DRed SonjaConan the DestroyerFantastic VoyageMadingo20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and the horrific Neal Diamond vehicle, The Jazz Singer. That’s probably the most all over the place directorial credits ever.

Channel Zero: No-End House (2017)

The most basic way for me to describe the second season of Channel Zero is this sentence: a group of friends visits a haunted house only to find themselves wondering if it’s a tourist attraction or something much more. However, like all of the Channel Zero, the story only starts there.

Based on the Creepypasta story No End House, this season is all about Margot Sleator, who is mourning the loss of her father (John Carroll Lynch, one of my favorite character actors) to suicide. She’s dropped out of life and drawn away from her best friend Jules. That night, while drinking at a bar, they learn of the infamous No-End House, a haunt that randomly shows up in a new place every year, targeting people through viral ads. Their friend J.D. seems to know all the answers, but he’s easily shown up.

The house itself is all black, foreboding and just standing in the street daring people to enter. The goal: conquer all six rooms. We see the results as numerous people exit the building in tears or vomiting. Whatever is inside is the real deal. And as Margot finds herself falling for Seth — and discovering that perhaps her father isn’t as dead as she believed — everyone begins to realize that leaving the house may not be all that easy.

The part that keeps coming back to me in this season is that the house literally eats memories out of your head. Once they’re gone, you don’t remember them and the house slowly devours every single thing in your head before disposing of you. Then, the house just moves on — another town, another country.

While a completely different story, this season continues a lot of the themes of the first: childhood’s loss, the fears that come with growing up, the tests that young friendships must endure as they move toward adulthood and dream sequences that are ready to disquiet you through their imagery and gore.

I’m so excited that more people are discovering this show thanks to Shudder, where season two debuts today. We’ve been buying the DVD box sets as soon as they come out and watching all six episodes in two nights, much like the hungry ghosts within this ominous black home.

EVEN MORE FUCKED UP FUTURES: 2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

This movie starts with a long battle after the end of the world, bringing you in before there’s even any story. Who even cares if there’s a story? People are getting killed left and right!

We have 5 heroes here — who would assume are the Texas Gladiators. They are Nisus (Al Cliver, EndgameWarriors of the Year 2072), Catch Dog (Daniel Stephen, War Bus which is a totally different movie than War Bus Commando), Jab (Harrison Mueller, She), Red Wolfe (Hal Yamanouchi, Rat Eater King from 2019: After the Fall of New York) and Halakron (Peter Hooten, the original Dr. Strange!).

They have to save this monastery, but they just sit and watch as more people get attacked and a priest even gets crucified. What are they waiting for? And then Catch Dog tries to rape one of the survivors! You guys are the heroes? Well, at least they kick him out after that.

That girl ends up being Maida (Sabrina Siani, Oncron from Conquest!), who hooks up with Nisus. Years later, they’re all settled down, the rest of the guys have gone their own way and Catch Dog has started an evil gang. Just like your friends from college.

Of course, Catch Dog’s gang attacks the town where Nisus lives with his family. Surprisingly, they fight back the invaders, but then a vaguely Nazi army attacks and defeats our hero, shooting him across the forehead. Then the army kills and rapes everyone and everything, taking the town apart.

The leader of this army, Black One (Donald O’Brien, Dr. Butcher M.D. himself!) tells everyone that he’s in charge. They then take Nisus and force him to watch his wife get raped. This movie has more violent sex than — oh, Joe D’Amato and George Eastman directed it? Yeah. It figures.

So what happens with our hero? He attacks one of the guys and gets shot a hundred times and dies. Is that the end of the movie? Nope.

Our old friends Halakron and Jab find Maida, who has been sold to a gambler, and Halakron wins her in a game of Russian Roulette. They all get busted for a bar fight, where they get tortured in salt mines. Luckily, Red Wolfe comes to save them.

Catch Dog’s gang attacks, but our heroes fake their deaths. They also meet up with a gang of Native Americans. Jab has to defeat one of them in battle to get them to join with our heroes. Of course, he wins. He’s Jab, bro.

Maida gets to kill Catch Dog, but Jab doesn’t make it. He dies in his friend’s arms because this is an Italian movie and even the heroes can die. Luckily, Halakron gets to kill Black One with a hatchet. So there’s that.

Halkron, Red Wolfe and the Native Americans win the day, save everyone and then ride off into the sunset, because post-apocalyptic Italian movies are just spaghetti westerns with shoulder pads.

There are better post-apocalyptic films than this. But there are worse ones, too. It’s a hard one to get, but luckily Cult Action can help you.

SPECIAL REPORT: My trip to the home of Twilight

“In the state of Washington, under a near constant cover of clouds and rain, there’s a small town named Forks. Population, 3,120 people. This is where I’m moving.” That’s what Bella Swan said when her mother hooked up with a minor league baseball pitcher and she ended up going across the country to live with her dad. As Bella prepared to move in, she felt only despair and a marked lack of joy. I completely understand how she felt and I was only traveling by car and ferry to see the town that the Twilight books and movies were based in.

Here’s something I learned as I was researching my trip — after I took it, mind you. While Twilight and its sequels are set in the town, not a single scene was filmed there. Nope, most of the movies were filmed in Oregon and some parts of Washington. Not in Forks. Zillow.com even called the Forks Chamber of Commerce to verify this and learned that yes, not one scene was shot in the town.

That’s probably because the location is very remote. And Washington state doesn’t make it easy for people to film there, with no tax breaks or incentives, which is why the filmmakers mostly shot in Oregon, Vancouver and Louisiana.

But Sam, tell us about Forks.

You got it.

Forks is located in Clallam County in the Olympic Peninsula and was incorporated on August 28, 1945. It’s a small town — around 3,500 people — and gets its name because it is quite literally near the forks in the Quillayute, Bogachiel, Calawah, and Sol Duc rivers.

Prior to what the internet told me was the town’s boom in tourism — more of that later — most people in the town are employed by the two jails and from sport fishing.

So you may wonder, how did I find myself on a ferry bound for the home of Edward, Bella and Jacob? Well, I love my wife. And I indulge her. And her aunt had suggested this. And soon, we’d be enjoying “27 minutes of our lives that we’d never get back,” to quote Becca.

First off, the Forks High School looks nothing like the place where Edward saved Bella from that car, nor where they were lab partners. No, instead it’s a small school filled with teens that scowl instead of glow. After all, Twilight’s author Stephenie Meyer never visited Forks when writing any of the books.

Across the street, we noticed Leppell’s Flowers & Gifts, which was run by a nice-seeming older couple. As they were working on the concrete in front, we had to head around the back and go through an alley and a hidden door to find the store that some call Twilight Central. That’s when we noticed this tour bus!

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We didn’t look into the tour and after spending just a bit of time looking at the scrapbook supplies, we bid the store farewell. Perhaps it’s just as well, as this amazing Yelp review did the store no favors.

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We drove through the town some more, saw Bella’s truck (which probably wasn’t the one used in the movie), went in two more Twilight themed gift shops and then headed out of town to Thriftway/Forks Outfitters. For being in the midst of some of the greatest coffee in the world, we had the best coffee drinks of our entire trip at their cafe! And get this — a Twilight menu! That’s how you do business!

They had used Twilight movies and an actual rental store within this general store that seems to answer every need of the folks in Forks. Even better, their deli offers some choices for the discriminating Twilight fan, made of course with high quality Kretschmar deli meats and cheeses:

Why doesn’t Jacob get a panini? Where is Bella’s BLT? I have so many questions and once you’re in Forks, you never get any answers.

At least Becca got this lighter, which will keep her smoking for years after she has planned to quit:

On the way out of town and back to the ferry, an overall three-hour-plus trip, we stopped to get gas and caffeine. That’s when I met Forks, WA local favorite Barry, who had on no shirt and a jacket as he careened around the store, screaming at people that he was about to go to the casino (One Eyed Jacks?) and do some drugs. After that, he followed an employee outside who was about to cry and told her he was sorry about her sister, but some people have it coming. Barry seemed like a real pip.

Goodbye, Forks! Thank you for showing us the place that inspired a movie that no one has really cared about since 2012. I kid — most of the people in town seemed genuinely nice and totally not about to kill us as we wandered their theme stores, ala Captain Spaulding from House of 1000 Corpses.

Want to learn more about Forks? Sure you do! Check out their official site!

BONUS: Listen to Sam bitch up a storm about watching Twilight on a past episode of our podcast: