SEVERIN BLU RAY RELEASE: Scala!!! shorts disc one (1968. 1971, 1978, 1984, 1986, 1989, 1991)

On the bonus discs of Severin’s new Scala!!! Or, the Incredibly Strange Rise and Fall of the World’s Wildest Cinema and How It Influenced a Mixed-up Generation of Weirdos and Misfits release, you’ll find examples of several shorts that played at the theater. You can buy this from Severin.

Divide and Rule – Never! (1978): Made for and by young people, this forty-minute or so film looks at race and how it is viewed in school, at work and by the law. There are also some historic sequences of British imperialism and a discussion of how Germany got to the point that it was pre-World War II, plus plenty of punk rock and reggae. This has many sides represented, from Black and Asian immigrants to ex-National Front members.

Divide and Rule — Never! was distributed by The Other Cinema, a non-profit-making, independent film distribution company in London.

Sadly, so much of this movie — made 45 years ago — are just as relevant today in America. This is movie that doesn’t shy away from incendiary material, but that’s what makes it so powerful. In addition to the interviews, it has some interesting animation and a soundtrack with Steel Pulse, TRB, X-Ray Specs and The Clash.

Dead Cat (1989): Directed and written by Davis Lewis, this has Genesis P-Orridge in the cast and a soundtrack by Psychic TV, which has been released as Kondole/Dead Cat.

A boy (Nick Patrick) has a cat that dies and his grief deposits him into a psychosexual nightmare, including a medicine man (Derek Jarman) and several unhoused people (P-Orridge, Andrew Tiernan).

This was shown at only a few theaters the year it was release — including Scala Cinema — before fading away and almost being lost before Lewis found it. In the program for this film, Scala said “The torture that occurs at the transition of sexuality.” If you liked videos for bands liek Skinny Puppy and Nine Inch Nails, this feels like the inspiration.

The Mark of Lilith (1986): Directed by Bruna Fionda, Polly Gladwin and Zachary Nataf as a project at The London College of Printing, this is all about Zena (Pamela Lofton), who is researching monstrous women. She meets Lillia (Susan Franklyn) a vampire, at a horror movie and the two start a relationship. 

Liliana, trapped with an abusive male partner by the name of Luke (Jeremy Peters) who is what vampires probably would be, scavengers who feed on the weak, dreams of movies in which she is the victim of just such a vampire. She’s often fed on human beings, but has been careful not to be caught or make a mess, unlike her partner. As for Zena, she’s been studying how female gods were once worshipped but now only appear in horror fiction as monstrous creatures.

So much of this movie is as right on now as when it was made, like the speech that Zena gives when Liliana tracks her down: “Have you noticed that horror can be the most progressive popular genre? It brings up everything that our society represses, how the oppressed are turned into a source of fear and anxiety. The horror genre dramatizes the repressed as “the other” in the figure of the monster and normal life is threatened by the monster, by the return of the repressed consciously perceived as ugly, terrible, obscene.”

Her argument is that we can subvert the very notions of horror, making the monsters into heroes that destroy the rules that hold us down.

However, this being a student film, it’s very overly earnest and instead of working these ideas into the narrative as subtext, they take over the entire movie. If you’re willing to overlook this, it’s a pretty fascinating effort.

Relax (1991):  Steve (Philip Rosch) lives with his lover Ned (Grant Oatley), but as he starts to engage in a more domestic relationship, he starts to worry about all of the partners he’s had. After all, the AIDS crisis is happening and he’s never been tested. Ned tells him to relax, but there’s no way that he can.

The wait for the test is just five days but it may as well be forever. This also makes a tie between sex and death, as Steve strips for both Ned and his doctor. And in the middle of this endless period of limbo, he dreams of death and fights with Ned, who just smiles and keeps telling him to relax. But how could anyone during the time of AIDS?

I remember my first blood test and the doctor lecturing me after he gave it, telling me that I should have been a virgin until I married and whatever happened, I brought it on myself. The funny thing was, I had been a virgin, I thought I was getting married and I had no knowledge that my fiance was unfaithful to a level you only see in films. That night, my parents came to visit, leaving their small town to come to the big city and my mother asked, “What is that bandage on your arm?” I could have lied, but I told her it was for a blood test, and I dealt with yet someone else upset with me. My problems were miniscule in the face of the recriminations that gay people had to deal with, a time of Silence=Death, a place seemingly forgotten today other than by the ones who fought the war.

Directed and written by Chris Newby, this is a stark reminder of that time.

Boobs a Lot (1968): Directed by Aggy Read, this is quite simple: many shots of female breasts, all set to The Fugs’ song of the same name. Banned in Australia, this has around three thousand sets of mammaries all in three minutes, the male gaze presented over and over and, yes, over again until it goes past just being sophomoric and becomes mesmerizing in the way that breasts are when you’re starting puberty. I’m ascribing artistic meaning to this but really, at the end of the day, it’s just a lot of sweater meat. Fun bags. Cans, dirty pillows, babylons, what have you. My wife is always amazed at how many dumb names I can come up with for anatomy and I blame years of John Waters and reading Hustler as a kid and yeah, I’m not as proud of the latter than the former. That said, there are a lot of headlights in this one.

Kama Sutra Rides Again (1971): Stanley (Bob Godfrey, who also directed and write this) and Ethel are a married couple looking to keep their love life interesting, so they have been trying out new positions. Things start somewhat simple, but by the end, Ethel is being dropped through trap doors and out of an airplane onto her husband. A trapeze love making attempt ends in injury, leading Ethel to chase Stanley while all wrapped up.

Stanley Kubrick personally selected this film to play before A Clockwork Orange in theaters in the UK. I wonder if this played at Scala before the screening that shut down the theater. More than just a dirty cartoon, this was nominated for an Oscar. Despite being about lovemaking, it’s all rather innocent and remains funny years after it was made.

Coping With Cupid (1991): Directed and co-written by former Slits guitarist Viv Albertine, this finds three blonde alien women — played by Yolande Brener, Fiona Dennison and Melissa Milo — who have come to Earth to learn what love is, under the command of Captain Trulove (the voice of Lorelei King). They meet a man named Peter (Sean Pertwee), who hasn’t found anyone, as well as interview people on the street to try and learn exactly how one person can become enamored of another.

Richard Jobson from Skids and Don Letts from Big Audio Dynamite appear, as does feminist sexologist Shere Hite, at least on a TV set. I love that the three aliens are the ideal of male perfection yet they are lonely, trying to figure out what it takes to make the heart beat. It’s kind of like so many other films that I adore where space women try to understand men, a genre that really needs a better title. See Cat-Women of the Moon, Missile to the Moon, Queen of Outer Space, Fire Maidens from Outer SpaceAmazon Women On the Moon, Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, El Planeta De Las Mujeres Invasoras and Uçan Daireler Istanbulda.

On Guard (1984): Sydney: Four women — Diana (Jan Cornall), Amelia (Liddy Clark),  Adrienne (Kerry Dwyer) and Georgia (Mystery Carnage) — juggle their lives, careers and even families to destroy the research of the company Utero, who are creating new ways of reproductive engineering. Or, as the sales material says, “Not only are the protagonists politically active women, but the frank depiction of their sexual and emotional lives and the complexity of their domestic responsibilities add new dimensions to the thriller format. The film also raises as a central issue the ethical debate over biotechnology as a potential threat to women and their rights to self-determination.”

One of the women loses the diary that has all of the information on their mission, which leads to everyone getting tense over what they’re about to do. Directed by Susan Lambert, who wrote it with Sarah Gibson, this allows the women to be heroes and not someone to be saved. I like that the advertising promised that this was “A Girls’ Own Adventure” and a heist film, hiding the fact that it has plenty of big ideas inside it.

Today, in vitro fertilisation (IVF) is an accepted way of having children, yet here, it’s presented as something that will take away one of the primary roles of women. Juxtapose that with IVF being one of the women-centric voting topics of the last U.S. election.

2024 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 27: Annihilator (1986)

27. MAN & MACHINE: When one interacts with the other, both are forever changed.

Originally airing on NBC on April 7, 1986, Annihilator was an unsold pilot for a TV series that would never be made.

Robert Armour (Mark Lindsay Chapman, Arcane from Swamp Thing the TV series) is dating Angela (Catherine Mary Stewart), another reporter. But when she returns from a girls only Hawaiian vacation with her friend Cindy (Lisa Blount), she’s not the same. That’s because their flight was taken by aliens and they’ve been replaced by killer androids who will destroy the human race.

Director Michael Chapman directed The Clan of the Cave Bear the same year this was released and shot The Last DetailTaxi DriverInvasion of the Body SnatchersHardcoreRaging BullThe Lost BoysGhostbusters II and so many more films. So this looks way better than it should. It was written by the father and son team of Roderick and Bruce Taylor, who also created the series Otherworld and Super Force. Roderick wrote Gator and Bruce, well, he wrote Elves so he’s good in my mind. More than good.

Oh yeah: These aliens — known as Dynamatars — are also super Satanic.

So anyways, Robert ends up killing Angela after she murders their dog and then comes after him. He rams her with a Jeep and then goes on the run from both the alien androids and the police, setting this up like The Fugitive versus Terminator with a bit of The Invaders.

We also get Nicole Eggert as a teenage robot killer, Geoffrey Lewis as her plot explaining professor father, an appearance by Earl Boen to really hammer that Terminator Home Edition point home, Brion James as a biker and the hints of an alien leader in the shadows who carries around some kind of spell book.

Somehow, this had the budget to have “Ashes to Ashes” by David Bowie play repeatedly, no complaints.

With a cast full of scream queens I had crushes on, a weird Miami Vice-like music video way of shooting the show and a conspiracy plot, I wish this had become a series. It would have lasted 11 of 12 episodes with the last one only airing in Europe as a TV movie edited together from several of the stories.

You can watch this on YouTube.

UNSUNG HORRORS HORROR GIVES BACK 2024: The Seventh Curse (1986)

Each October, the Unsung Horrors podcast does a month of themed movies. This year they will once again be setting up a fundraiser to benefit Best Friends, which is working to save the lives of cats and dogs all across America, giving pets second chances and happy homes.

Today’s theme: The Sweetest Taboo

In the book The Sweetest Taboo An Unapologetic Guide to Child Kills In Film, author Erica Shultz says that this movie doesn’t just have dead children, but “100 of them being smashed in a hydraulic press so their blood can be used to awaken a demon.”

So if you’re charged with writing about a movie with kid kills, this would be the one to go for.

Lam Ngai Kai also made Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, so you know that he has no problem with blowing your mind and making you kind of excited with all the non-stop gore.

Based on Ni Kuang’s series of novels Dr. Yuen — Ni Kuang also narrates this and make an appearance — this has Dr. Yuen Chen-hsieh (Chin Siu-ho) rescuing a girl named Bachu (Chui Sau-lai) from being sacrificed by the Worm Tribe. However, he has Seven Curses which she heals him from for one year, but they cause his legs to bleed and when all seven curses happen, he will die. So he goes back to Thailand to battle the cult of worms and their leader Sorcerer Aquala (Elvis Tsui) one more time.

He’s joined by reporter Tsui Hung (Maggie Cheung), Black Dragon (Dick Wei) and his friend Wisely (Chow-Yun Fat) on this adventure. In the books this comes from, Wisely is the hero and Dr. Yuen the sidekick, but there’s so much happening in this movie that you don’t have to concern yourself with that.

Imagine a movie that starts with Dr. Yuen in the middle of a SWAT assault then turns into an Indiana Jones movie, but if Indiana Jones had karate, tons of nudity, skeleton fights, way over the top gore and even a flying monster baby. Also a giant stone god, an Alien end boss, a coven of devil worshippers, lighting out of Bava and Chow Yun-Fat blowing a demon up real good twice with a rocket launcher.

I don’t know that there’s another movie that’s quite as strange or as good as this. Writing about it makes me want to watch it all over again.

You can watch this on Tubi.

2024 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 5: From Beyond (1986)

5. BROKEN BONES: Snap, crackle, “stop… is it sticking out?”

Dr. Edward Pretorius (Ted Sorel) has created the Resonator, which allows him to see beyond reality. You know, like the title. When Dr. Crawford Tillinghast (Jeffrey Combs) activates it, he sees all sorts of monsters floating around him, including one that bites him. Pretorious, instead of never turning it on again, goes wild and turns it up to 11. Crawford runs, Pretorious loses his head and Crawford is arrested for his murder by Detective Bubba Brownless (Ken Foree).

Dr. Katherine McMichaels (Barbara Crampton) treats him in a mental ward and discovers that his pineal gland has become enlarged. Interested by the machine, she, Crawford and Bubba go back to the lab and attempt to rebuild the machine. When they get it turned on, a nude and floating Pretorius appears, surrounded by monsters and slimy tentacles. Almost everyone barely makes it out alive.

Even after that, Katherine thinks the machine can help people who have schizophrenia and brain damage, so she turns it back on and Pretorius tries to drag her back into his new realm. Gigantic bees eat Bubba and Crawford has his pineal gland emerge from his forehead. Now, everyone thinks Katherine is insane and she’s saved from shock treatment by a brain and eye hungry Crawford, as the two escape and take a bomb back to the house.

The end of this movie upset me so much, as she launches herself out of a window to escape the blast and  her leg breaks into pieces before yelling, “They ate him!”

Shot in Italy at the Dinocitta Studios that were bought by Empire, this was made at the same time as Dolls, another movie by director Stuart Gordon. Between four effects teams and a nearly all Italian crew, they got a lot out of this movie’s low budget. I watched this so many times on cable, always covering my eyes, and even today it still has enough gross moments to make me question watching it.

I love that Barbara Crampton sold her leather BDSM outfit from this movie at a yard sale.

CANNON MONTH 3: Nothing In Common (1986)

EDITOR’S NOTE: For the last two days of Cannon Month, I’m going to cover movies that weren’t produced by Cannon but which were distributed by them on one of their various home video labels including Cannon / MGM/UA Home Video, HBO/Cannon Video, Cannon Video, Cannon / Guild Home Video, Cannon / Rank Video, Cannon Screen Entertainment Limited, Cannon Classics, Cannon / Warner Home Video, Cannon/VMP, Cannon Screen Entertainment, Scotia/Cannon, Cannon International, Cannon/ ECV, Cannon / Showtime, Cannon / United Film, Cannon / Isabod, Cannon / Mayco and so many more.

Nothing In Common is responsible for what I do for a living.

I won tickets to see this movie from a trivia contest on WKST radio in New Castle, PA. As I sat in the theater, I was amazed by the office that David Basner (Tom Hanks) worked in as ad guy. There were markers everywhere, everyone was stressed but having so much fun and people were playing guitars at their desks. Surely advertising was the most fun job ever!

Almost three decades later I can tell you that none of this is true.

David’s parents Max and Lorraine (Jackie Gleason and Eva Marie Saint) have finally split up. David’s just broken up with his girlfriend Donna (Bess Armstrong). And what’s even worse, his dad has lost his job. And at the same time, he’s pitching Colonial Airlines and dating the owner Andrew Woolridge’s (Barry Corbin) daughter Cheryl (Sela Ward).

You can imagine that 14-year-old me was amazed that normal looking guys could dare Sela Ward if they were funny and worked in advertising.

Max has been a horrible husband, father and even caretaker of himself. His diabetes is out of control, leading me to a lifelong fear of losing my feet after watching this. But David comes through for him, even though his father doesn’t deserve it. Oh Garry Marshall, you got me.

This is the movie that took Tom Hanks from funny guy to someone who could be in dramatic movies. Sadly, Gleason would be dead just a year after this film. He’s pretty fearless in it, playing someone who we should have no sympathy for whatsoever. He made this while he was deathly sick with colon cancer, liver cancer, thromboses hemorrhoids, diabetes and phlebitis.

Writers Rick Podell and Michael Preminger would write the TV movie Gleason which starred Grad Garrett as The Great One.

And hey — it has Thompson Twins playing “Nothing In Common” which was their first release as a duo.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Star Slammer (1986)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Also known as Prison Ship, Adventures of Taura, Part 1, Starslammer: The Escape and Prison Ship Star Slammer, this Fred Olen Ray-directed film was shot over a few days in a converted grocery store. Some reports say that this was tacked on to the shooting of Biohazard, which thanks to Matty at The Schlock Pit, I know is untrue. I do now know that uniforms came from Galaxy of Terror and other costumes came from Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn

Fred Olen Ray has been namking LEED certified green films since 1986.

Don’t believe me? He saved even more money by using scenes from Battle Beyond the Stars and Dark Star, which at least was somewhat authorized as this movie shares a producer, Jack H. Harris, with that John Carpenter early effort.

Captain Bantor (Ross Hagen), the Sovereign (Lindy Sykes) and the Inquisitor (Aldo Ray) have all come to the planet Arous to stop an uprising, which causes them to cross paths with a mine owner named Taura (Sandy Brooke). She’s had a good relationship with the citizens of this planet, unlike Bantor and his people. When he tries to forcibly take her mine, she fights back and soon disintegrates his hand.

This movie isn’t called Space Mine, you know? So she’s soon taken to Warden Exene’s (Marya Gant) Vehemence, where Taura must constantly battle for her life, yet soon wins over most of the other prisoners and makes a friend in Mike (Susan Stokey). Bantor returns, now insane, and tries to make the prison into a zombie army, which means that Taura has to fight him again.

When a catfight breaks out during a meal, the guards call in the monster from The Deadly Spawn, which is a very frugal and well-received choice. This is broken down into chapters — like Jailbreak 3000 — which I really wish were their own movies and that this had a long and storied history of films. A sequel called Chain Gang Planet was planned. I wish it had been made.

It also has an amazing bad girl named Muffy, of all things, played by Dawn Wildsmith, who was in all manner of wonderful films like The Phantom Empire and Evils of the Night. When we first meet her, she’s torturing a prisoner with leeches — “Daddy, not the bore worms!” — and then takes a bite out of the leeches! Plus she has an eyepatch!

I want to live in this future, a place where John Carradine shows up as a hologram judge, Jack H. Harris’ voice comes out of intercoms, Ray plays a small robot, his son shows up in at least three parts, all of the women have thongs on and yes, that is Bobbie Bresee in a brief scene. There are people who have given this poor reviews and they are sad folks, those you should never party with because they’d stare at you while you smoke a joint and shake their heads.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Pigeon Shrine FrightFest UK 2024: The Hitcher (1986)

When I first saw The Hitcher, I was probably 14 years old and saw it as a straight-ahead story of violence on the highway. I probably cheered at the end when Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) blew a hole into John Ryder (Rutger Hauer). But age and the miles wear on every man and now when I watch it, it does more than make me raise my fist in the air and shout. It makes me ruminate on the journeys life has taken me and how I’d rather be launched through a window and blasted down a hillside than live a slow, tedious and quiet death.

Halsey starts the film with the kind of confidence that someone at the end of their teens has. He picks up Ryder, who immediately confides to him that he’s killed someone else. But he says something else. Something we don’t expect. “I want you to stop me.”

That’s the whole point of this film. Ryder will transform Halsey into the empty man he is, whether through attrition or forcing him to blast him into oblivion. This road only goes one way.

What does it take to get Halsey to realize this isn’t a nightmare, but reality? Of course, it’s easy to think that this could all be a dream, in the same way that long stretches of drives with no one speaking seem to be visions that last and last. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m still driving and every moment up until here, up until this realization, is just me imagining my life and any moment now, I’m going to wake up with my fiancee asleep next to me.

For our hero, it takes seeing trucks plow into truck stops, station wagons filled with the blood of all American families and the typical movie love interest torn in half by two semis.

Halsey is stripped of his identity, not just because his license and keys — let’s face, the manhood of most red-blooded boys — have been taken away. Everything he may have believed was true — the goodness of giving someone a ride when they need it, that love can conquer fear, even that the role models and lawmakers that society sets up can protect us against one lone man who isn’t just unafraid to die but willingly chases it — is a lie.

Not even suicide can save our hero.

So who is at fault for all the crimes that come out of this spree? If Halsey just shot Ryder in the truck, while Nash (Jennifer Jason Lee, looking like the gorgeous girl who surely will survive all of this madness, right?) is tied between it and another, life would be different.

Look, when a killer says, “I want you to stop me,” you listen.

Eric Red wrote this story while traveling across America, wondering about the lyrics to The Doors “Riders On the Storm.” Pretty simple, really: “If ya give this man a ride, sweet memory will die. Killer on the road, yeah.”

Critics hated it. Both Siskel and Ebert gave it zero out of four stars, with Ebert even decrying the film by saying, “I could see that the film was meant as an allegory, not a documentary. But on its own terms, this movie is diseased and corrupt. I would have admired it more if it had found the courage to acknowledge the real relationship it was portraying between Howell and Rutger, but no: It prefers to disguise itself as a violent thriller, and on that level it is reprehensible.”

Whatever.

The end of this film, as Halsey stands against the sunset and smokes as we process what has just happened just attacks the viewer. The credits just stand there as we feel no celebration or victory. Maybe not even relief, because while it seems like this is over, there’s no way it is over.

The fact that this movie spawned a sequel and a Michael Bay remake are two things that I have added to the many things that I have tried to forget so that I can keep on living my life*. Kind of like how director Robert Harmon makes the Jesse Stone TV movies for Tom Selleck now instead of getting to create more movies like this (that said, I’ve heard good things about They, a movie he did with Wes Craven and I kind of don’t mind his Van Damme film Nowhere to Run). Red would move on to write a few other films that break the mold and are on my list of favorite films: Near Dark and Blue Steel.

The last thing that this movie makes me feel is loss. Rutger Hauer is such an essential part of my film nerd stable of actors, someone who always makes a movie way better than it seems like it will be just by his presence. Nighthawks is so intense because of him. Films like Wanted Dead or AliveThe Blood of Heroesand Buffy the Vampire Slayer (with Hauer getting to finally play the vampire lord that Anne Rice, who always wanted him as Lestat, saw him in) are actually great because of Hauer. And Blade Runner means nothing without him as Roy Batty.

Hauer astounded the stunt people in this movie, pulling off the car stunts by himself. And he also intimidated Howell, scaring him even when they weren’t acting. He even knocked out a tooth when he flew through the windshield himself. There is no one who could have played this character quite so well and stayed with me so long after the film was over.**

*The fact that René Cardona III made a Mexican version of this called Sendero Mortal does give me the energy to keep on living.  I’d also like to recommend the absolutely insane Umberto Lenzi in America  Hitcher In the Dark, which makes me wish that more Italian directors made their own versions of The Hitcher.

**Hauer said in his autobiography, All Those Moments, that Elliott “was so scary when he came in to audition that Edward S. Feldman was afraid to go out to his car afterward.”

I watched The Hitcher at Pigeon Share FrightFest. It’s the UK’s best, brightest, and largest independent international thriller, fantasy, and horror film festival and has three major events each year in London and Glasgow. Learn more at the official site.

CBS LATE MOVIE: Eye of the Tiger (1986)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Eye of the Tiger was on the CBS Late Movie on May 5, 1989.

Imagine Con Air where instead of Cameron Poe finally getting home on a plane filled with killers, he served out his prison sentence and came back home to killers.

Instead of Nicholas Cage, Gary Busey is the hero, Buck Matthews, newly home to his wife Christie (Denise Galik) and daughter Jennifer (Judith Barsi, who was Thea Brody in Jaws: The Revenge and sadly was killed by her father at a way too young age).

His hometown is being ruled by that gang of killers I mentioned, a post-apocalyptic gang of motorcyclists led by Blade (William Smith). On his first night back at work on a construction site, Buck stops the bikers from assaulting a nurse named Dawn (Kimberlin Brown). To pay him back for his good deed, Blade and his gang follow him home, beat him into oblivion, kill his wife and send his daughter into a near-catatonic state.

Would the cops help? Not the sheriff (Seymour Cassel), who probably set Buck up for his first prison bid and threatens another. His friend Deputy J.B. Deveraux (Yaphet Kotto) wants to help, but the police department is corrupt. Buck calls in a favor from a Miami drug dealer he saved in prison, Jamie (Jorge Gil) and gets an armored truck that shoots missiles.

This movie was in the same script package as Rolling Vengeance, so once you know that, you’ll get it.

As you can imagine, Buck kills every single member of the gang that he can, as well as force feeding Blade a mountain full of cocaine, which is a wild death for a final boss. As for the sheriff, he blows up real good in Buck’s truck. The rest of the cops come through and J.B. drops bombs on the bikers from his biplane while blasting James Brown’s “Gravity.”

That’s because this movie may seem like a Cannon film but it was produced by Scotti Brothers.

Yes, the record label that released albums by Leif Garrett, David Hallyday, Felony, “Weird Al” Yankovic and Survivor.

Now it’s starting to make sense, right?

Right?

They may want you to think that Eye of the Tiger was based on the song by Survivor, but that was just a gimmick. Yes, that song was also in Rocky III and was used by Hulk Hogan before he took “Real American” from Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo.

This film actually started as a spec script called Midnight Vengeance, written by Michael Thomas Montgomery as part of an “Action Package” with the aforementioned Rolling Vengeance and a third unproduced script. He didn’t have an agent but instead sent posters and cold-called a hundred companies to make these movies. As the owners of Survivor’s record label, the Scotti Brothers owned “Eye of the Tiger” and thought that would make a good title for an action movie.

This is the kind of movie where bikers kill a woman and then come and ride their bikes around her funeral, which causes Busey to decapitate one of them with a wire across the road, then goes to the hospital and lubricates a stick of TNT, shoves it up a biker’s ass and lights the fuse while interrogating him. The bikers respond — well, Buck did cut the head off Blade’s brother — by digging up his wife and dragging her coffin all over the front yard like Big Bossman at the funeral of Al Snow’s dad.

If you like the song that this takes its name from, good news. You’re going to hear it a lot.

This movie is pretty good. It’s no Stone Cold, but what movie is? But for a late 80s non-Cannon revenge movie made by a record company — they also released Eddie and the Cruisers II, Lady Beware, In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro, He’s My Girl, The Iron Triangle, The Resurrected, Stealing Heaven and Death of a Soldier — it’s pretty solid. I mean, Gary Busey flips out on an entire town while they’re trying to play bingo.

Oh man! How can I forget? This was directed by Richard C. Sarafian. Yes, the same guy who made Vanishing Point!

You can watch this on Tubi.

CBS LATE MOVIE MONTH: Armed and Dangerous (1986)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Armed and Dangerous was on the CBS Late Movie on October 27, 1989.

Mark Lester can do a buddy cop movie. But a comedy? A movie that starts with John Candy’s character sent up the river and Eugene Levy as the worst lawyer ever throwing himself on the mercy of a judge — Stacy Keach Sr.! — to keep the mob from killing him, with Candy in a Bill Murray role instead of the likable everyman?

If anyone can handle it, it’s Lester.

With no job prospects, Dooley and Kane (Candy and Levy) apply for work at Guard Dog Security, run by Captain Clarence O’Connell (Kenneth McMillan, Cat’s Eye) and supervised by Maggie Cavanaugh (an impish and delightful Meg Ryan).

Their first night on the job, some goons take advantage of them when lead guard Bruno makes our heroes take a break. He’s Tiny Lister, better known as Zeus from No Holds Barred and Deebo in the Friday movies.

This launches them on a quest to see who has set them up — again in Candy’s case — you get plenty of great casting to help the story move, a hallmark of Lester’s work. There’s Robert Loggia as corrupt union head Michael Carlino, Brion James and Johnathan Banks (both strangely with full heads of hair) as his goons, James Tolkan (Strickland from Back to the Future), Don Stroud (Stunts), Steve Railsback (Turkey Shoot) pretty much playing the same character as he did as Manson in Helter Skelter, Tony Burton (Duke from Rocky), Teagan Clive (yes, Bimbo Cop from Vice Academy 2 and The Alienator), Tito Puente, Judy Landers (Dr. Alien!), Christine Dupree (who was one of the models for the aborted video game Tattoo Assassins) and even a blink and you’ll miss him appearance by David Hess as a gunman.

You may watch this and say, “Robert Loggia has a nice, if familiar house.” That’s because Jed Clampett used to live there. The Sport Pit, the gym that gets messed up in the film, is also in the same strip mall that D-Fens shot up the phone booth in Falling Down.

By all accounts, this movie sounded like a mess to make. Originally written by Harold Ramis as a vehicle for Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi, it was resurrected by producer Brian Grazer.

Candy and Tom Hanks were cast, but Hanks dropped out, and Candy recommended Eugene Levy. Of all people, John Carpenter was initially attached to direct.

Ramis disliked the final film, saying: “It was not good. I tried to take my name off it. I took my name off in one place.” That said, he’s credited as a screenwriter, despite his demands.

As for Grazer, Lester demanded that John Candy call Meg Ryan a bitch in a scene. Candy refused, Lester walks and Grazer had to finish directing for the day. Keep in mind, this is an alleged story.

It’s an alright movie that moves fast enough. It doesn’t feel like Lester’s other films, but that may be because of studio pressures. I had difficulty locating a copy and the one I did find had Russian actors speaking over the English soundtrack, even reading out loud the credits. I think it made this a much better film.

88 FILMS BLU RAY RELEASE: Royal Warriors (1986)

Directed by David Chung and written by Kan-Cheung Tsang, the second film in the In the Line of Duty series finds officer Michelle Yip (Michelle Yeoh) coming back to Hong Kong from a trip to Japan. Highjackers attempt to take the plane, but she stops them along with a security guard named Michael Wong (Michael Wong) and Interpol agent Peter Yamamoto (Hiroyuki Sanada). The bad news? Well, now they’re being targeted by the other members of the same mob family for revenge.

This movie blows away any action movie made yesterday or today, featuring an incredible nightclub assault, so much glass being broken I was wondering if it was sponsored by PPG, Michael’s family being wiped out by a car bomb, chase scenes that make you retroactively worry for the safety of everyone involved and an ending where Yip drives a futuristic tank into a trap laid by the big bad with him holding the body of her boyfriend on a crane.

In the Line of Duty 2 is filled with non-stop mayhem and violence, a downbeat tone and Yeoh embracing the opportunity to be the lead.

This was originally released by 88 Films in their In the Line of Duty box set, along with 1985’s Yes, Madam!, 1988’s In the Line of Duty 3 and 1989’s In the Line of Duty 4.

Now you can get the individual release. Extras include the audio being available in Cantonese and two different English versions. There are also new subtitles, commentary by Hong Kong film expert Frank Djeng, missing inserts, trailers and English trailers. You can get it from MVD.