There are five Ricky Lau-directed Mr. Vampire movies — Mr. Vampire. Mr. Vampire II, Mr. Vampire III, Mr. Vampire IV and Mr. Vampire 1992 (the only direct sequel) followed by several connected movies by other directors, such as Billy Chan and Leung Chung’s New Mr. Vampire (these first six movies will be the ones that we’ll be covering), Lam Ching-ying’s Vampire vs Vampire and Magic Cop (AKA Mr. Vampire 5), Chan’s Crazy Safari (also known as The Gods Must Be Crazy II), Andrew Lau’s The Ultimate Vampire, Wilson Tong’s The Musical Vampire, Wu Ma’s Exorcist Master, Wellson Chin’s The Era of Vampires and Juno Mak’s tribute to this series, Rigor Mortis. There are also two TV series: Vampire Expert and My Date with a Vampire.

All of these movies have the Chinese vampire in common. Called the jiangshi, these hopping corpses of Chinese folklore are as much zombies as they are vampires. They first appeared in Hong Kong cinema in Sammo Hung’s Encounters of the Spooky Kind.

Mr. Vampire (1985)

Master Kau (Lam Ching-ying) is pretty much Dr. Strange by way of Taoist priesthood, as he keeps control over the spirits and vampires of China from his large home, which is protected by many talismans and amulets, staffed by his students Man-Choi (Ricky Hui) and Chau-sang (Chin Siu-ho).

Master Yam hires Kau to move the burial site of his father to ensure prosperity for his family. However, the body looks near perfect, showing that it may be a vampire. Taking it home, Kau instructs his students to write all over the coffin with enchanted ink. They forget to do the bottom of the coffin, which means that the vampire escapes and murders his rich son, turning him into a jiangshi.

Wai (Billy Lau) is a policeman who is sure that Kau is responsible (he also has a grudge because a girl (Moon Lee) he likes has eyes for Kau), so he arrests him even as the vampire begins killing others. Kau’s students are tested by a vampire’s boat and also a seductive spirit, but when Master Yam becomes a fully vampiric demon, only the help of another Taoist priest named Four-Eyes (Anthony Chan) can save the day.

Based on stories producer Hung heard from his mother, this movie nearly tripled its budget at the box office. Just a warning — not just Italian movies have real animal violence. There’s a moment where a real snake is sliced apart instead of a fake one due to budget. The snake was used to make soup, but there’s no report on whether the chicken whose throat was cut on screen was used as stock after.

Golden Harvest tried to make an American version — Demon Hunters — with Yuen Wah playing Master Kau and American actors Jack Scalia and Michele Phillips (taking over from Tonya Roberts) were in Hong Kong to film scenes, but the movie was stopped after just a few weeks.

Mr. Vampire 2 (1986)

This film is more about a vampire family than continuing the story of the first movie, despite being directed by Ricky Lau and bringing back female star Moon Lee and Lam Ching-ying.

Archaeologist Kwok Tun-Wong (Chung Fat) and his students have found not just one jiangshi but a mother, father and their son, all kept still because of the magical talismans on their foreheads. Intending to sell the boy on the black market — who would want a child hopping vampire is a question we may not be able to answer — the talismans are removed and Dr. Lam Ching-ying (yes, Lam Ching-ying used his real name for the role), his potential son-in-law Yen (Yuen Biao) and his daughter Gigi (Lee) must stop the plague of the vampires.

Mr. Vampire 3 (1987)

Uncle Ming (Richard Ng) isn’t a great Tao priest like Uncle Nine (Lam Ching-ying), but like an HK version of The Frighteners, he has help from two ghosts. Big and Small Pai. He comes to a small town where supernatural bandits are ruling the night, all led by the evil — I mean, with a name like this, she should be malificent — Devil Lady (Wong Yuk Waan).

This movie has a first for me — evil spirits trapped in wine jars and then friend in hot oil. This is definitely closer to the spirit of the original film, which made fans pretty happy. Also, a witch with a skull inside her hair and a Sammo Hung cameo as a waiter!

If you’re used to the pace of American movies, you may want to drink plenty of Red Bull or Bang before starting this one.

Mr. Vampire 4 (1988)

Four-eyed Taoist (Anthony Chan) and Buddhist Master Yat-yau (Wu Ma) are neighbors, but engaged in a sort of humorous war of words, pranks and ideologies with each other. As a convoy passes their homes — including a vampire that is soon hit with lightning and becomes super powerful — they must put aside their dislike and work together.

You may miss Lam Ching Ying, who for the first time isn’t the lead in a Mr. Vampire sequel. There’s nearly an hour, however, where the two leads try to destroy one another with not a hopping bloodsucker in sight. So while the stereotypical gay character isn’t fun at all, there’s still the knowledge you’ll gain, like eating garlic to defeat a curse.

Mr. Vampire 1992 (1992)

After three sequels, it’s finally time to make an actual sequel to Mr. Vampire, with Master Kau (Lam Ching-ying), Man-choi (Ricky Hui) and Chau-sang (Chin Siu-ho) all coming back.   What a wild story they’ve been brought back for, as the soul of an aborted fetus lives within a statue before seeking to take over the fetus that is growing within Mai Kei-lin (Wuki Kwan), the one-time love of Master Kau.

There’s also The General (Billy Lau), Mai Kei-lin’s husband, who is bit by his vampire father and seeks to escape his curse with the help of Kau.

Also — this is a comedy.

What’s most amazing — to me — is that I found my copy of this in my small Western Pennsylvania hometown, in the literal sticks, an all-region DVD that I can only assume came from a foreign exchange student at one of the local small colleges, as there were several other similar films. $1 later and my movie room has hopping vampires on the shelves.

New Mr. Vampire (1987)

Don’t confuse this New Mr Vampire with Mr. Vampire 1992. This installment was directed by Billy Chan and has Chung Fat and Huang Ha as rival brothers Master Chin and Master Wu, with Chin Siu-ho (playing Hsiao Hau Chien) and Lu Fang (known as Tai-Fa) as their disciples.

This is my least favorite of the jiangshi movies I’ve seen, except for the fact that the filmmakers seem intent on making John Carpenter pay for taking so many Hong Kong movie mythos for Big Trouble in Little China by outright stealing music from Halloween and Escape from New York.

Are you willing to take a journey into the world of Chinese vampires? Let us know what you find. Remember, if you get bit, just take a bath in rice milk, then grind down their fangs or drink their blood to heal yourself.

Well, it had to end sometime. Two weeks (the last one was during the first week of August) and 48 films. Sure, there’s oh so much more Vietnam war raging in the South Pacific — and just as many jungle-based sci-fi off-shoots, such as Reb Brown starring in Bruno Mattei’s Robowar. But we just can’t, anymore. From here on out, you’re on your own to discover the rest of the Sylvester Stallone-to-Arnold Schwarzenegger-to-Chuck Norris ’80s war rips. And lets not forget the ones with Ron Marchini and Michael Dudikoff.

Okay, so right off the bamboo shoot: we want to know who wrote this logline: “Superb action set during the Vietnam War. The prologue shows a French army convoy being ambushed by the Vietcong in 1950.”

What’s wrong with this logline: the use of the word “superb” in a Jim Goldman, aka Jun Gallardo movie.

Okay, so there’s second unit and Assistant AD Rod Davis, aka Davies, aka we’ve never been able to track down if he’s an actual American expatriate or a South Asian doing the Americanization waltz on the lens as well as working the Brother typewriter. Paul Vance, aka Paul Van, however, is a real American who — as with our “star,” here, Gordon Mitchell — never “made it” in the U.S. film industry, but Vance forged a nice career northwest of Down Under with an acting resume of 20 films (starting with W Is War in 1983 and ending with Jungle Rats in 1988). We also have to mentioned that, in addition to co-writing Commando Invasion, Rod Davis also gave us this week’s Slash Exterminator (go back to Monday at 12 noon, folks; were writing ahead, here), and the we-love-it-so-much SFX Retaliator, among his five Filipino writing credits.

Then there’s our real “star,” the lead of these proceedings: American expatiate Micheal James, who was in eight of these jungle romps, including Mad Dog II and Rescue Team (both 1985; yep, reviewed this week and we’re writing ahead, so use that “search box”) for our Jim Goldman, and Searchers Of The Voodoo Mountain, aka Warriors of the Apocalyspe (1985), for Bobby A. Suarez. Michael James actually made a decent war film alongside David Carradine, Mako, and Steve James (a frequent Micheal Dudikoff sideman) in P.O.W: The Escape (1986). (I know: how “decent” is a down-and-out David Carradine Chuck Norris-wannabe knockoff?)

Okay, so since we already went deep with Gordon Mitchell — as well as with his frequent acting partner, Richard Harrison (I wish he was here; he’s not) — in our review of their joint, Neapolitan effort, on Three Men on Fire, let’s blow this one up!

Ol’ Gordo is good-to-bad guy General MacMoreland (he’s barely here and probably from another film, entirely) with Paul Vance picking up a co-starring credit as Lt. Frank Terryl, and Ken Wantanbe — from the 1985 martial arts classic Nine Deaths of the Ninja and the writer behind that same year’s Ron Marchini-starrer, Ninja Warriors! — as our evil General Diap. Hey, there’s Jim Gaines — who blew out 60-plus of these films since 1974, but we remember him best as Reb Brown’s sidekick Sonny “Blood” Peel in the previously mentioned Robowar — as Lt. Frank’s sidekick, Sgt. Morgan. Everyone else: they are somebodies that we think are nobodies because they all have bogus, “Americanized” names like “John Crocker,” “David Scott,” and “Bobby Clinton.” As is par for the Filipino jungle course: not only are the actors, stock (defacto “starring” in some cases as result of their cut-in from other pictures): all that sfx-slaughtering war footage is stocked as well.

So, not only is the U.S. in the jungle, so are the French, whose 1950-era army convoy rife with millions in art and diamonds is ambushed. The booty is stolen.

Meanwhile, 15 years later: We have an American commando unit doing what they do best: kill Asian commies as they track down that booty to VC General Diap’s (Watanabe) underground bunker. The men turn on Captain Brady, the head of the unit who — not again, how many of these flick have this subplot: he makes his scratch stealing diamonds from the locals. Why? Well, we weren’t there to stop Communism. We are there for the diamonds. Brady’s men plan to kill him and take the loot — then Diap and his men show up and killing them all. The exaction unit finally arrives and finds ol’ Cap Brady alive: with a gaggle of dead bodies around him and a fistful of sparkly rocks.

To stop his court martial, Brady is allow to return to “Vietnam” for five days track to down Diap, bring him to justice, and save his own skin in the process. In the jungle, Brady soon realizes U.S. General MacMoreland is in kahoots with Diap, that’s he’s been double and tripled-crossed, and the French military is on his tail to retrieve the stolen loot. And I swear I’ve seen this same plot in another movie we’ve reviewed during these two weeks?

Flash forward four months later . . .

Shite! I did. I just watched the same movie, twice — months part — I just reviewed Commando Invasion, again (it posed back on Monday). Oh, Dear Lord. Okay, well, let me go watch and review the film that I meant to review: Jun Gallardo’s Invasion Cambodia. Oh, man. I can’t. But I have to. Ugh! Just . . . one . . . more. I can do it! You just gotta believe!

See what I mean? Arrrrrgh! NO MORE PHILIPPINE WAR FLICKS! I’m losing my mind. The celluloid coffers are closed. Find the rest on your own. And watch this one on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Ol’ Uncle Cirio, he of the one hundred directing credits beginning in 1955 and ending in 2014. Hey, wait a minute . . . we lost Cirio H. Santiago in 2008. As it turns out: Cirio’s final film was Bloodfist 2050 (2005) — the ninth film in the Bloodfist series, if you’re keeping track of such things. Water Wars began shooting prior to Cirio’s death, but his then ill health resulted in his stepping down from the production. Roger Corman flew in (the great) Jim Wynorski to complete the film, which was released in 2014.

Ah, but this is our second “Philippines War Week” tribute (did you play with us back in August) and as much as Uncle Cirio loved to rehash Mad Max’s road warrior’in over and over again (Stryker, Wheels of Fire, Dune Warriors, and Raiders of the Sun — all of which were edited into Water Wars, natch), the king of Philippines junk cinema loved making copies of Rambo (Eye of the Eagle, Final Mission, Kill Zone, Firehawk*, Nam Angels — and don’t be surprised if you see those film each interchanging their footage into each other — and here).

For The Devastator, Roger Corman loosened the purse strings and allowed Cirio to shoot outside of the Philippines in Los Angeles. Also known as Kings Ransom and Force Commando, as well as The Destructors and The Destroyers in other quarters, ex-Canadian Football League running back Rick Hill (Deathstalker, Wheels of Fire) and director Katt Shea (Stripped to Kill, Poison Ivy, The Rage: Carrie 2; she also scripted The Patriot and starred in Barbarian Queen) co-star in this warsploitation tale about Deacon Porter, an ex-Special Forces officer out to avenge the death of his old commanding officer.

When Porter arrives in the small town of Kings Ransom, he discovers his commander died at the hands of marijuana farmers who control the town. To that end, he reunites his old squad — of Santiago stock players (so footage can be pinched from other films with some sense of continuity) with Bill McLaughlin (Silk), Terrence O’Hara (Naked Vengeance), and Jack S. Daniels (Wheels of Fire). Katt O’Shea is the local gas station grease monkey, aka the hot ‘n’ ass kickin’ local tomboy, that takes up their cause.

Now, if you know your Cirio like we hope you do, you’ll say, “Hey, this sure feels a lot like Final Mission* from 1984?” Have you not been following along? Did you not hang out with us during our first “Philippines War Week”? Have you not watched Cirio’s post-apoc movies at all? Of course it is — and does — as it’s all about the recycling.

But it doesn’t matter. The scripts may be been-there-done-that dopey, rife with dumb characters spewing bad dialog who talk a little bit too much and slow down the action, but when the action hits — as with any Cirio flick, even when recycled — you get your monies worth.

So, if you need a film with a faux-Rambo cuttin’ loose in the woods of North California taking down pot growers in a rejected First Blood sequel, this is the film to see. And, you’ll notice — if you know your Cirio like we hope you do — he never, ever lets those three-wheeled apoc trikes go to waste. Oh, and Corman never lets the stock footage destruction of the likes Avalanche go to waste, either. Or wherever that dam footage came from. For you know Cirio didn’t shoot that for the film.

MGM/UA picked up a bunch of Corman’s Concorde stuff, which includes a lot of the Cirio H. Santiago canons, so this one is easy to find on disc. But, you know us: we found you a freebie on You Tube. You can also sample the trailer.

* One, if not all, of those films will be reviewed this week. We think. We’ve lost track at this point as all of the movies are bleeding into one, never-ending nightmare. So use the search box, you tamad anák sa labás.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

“Very funny. You should be on the Johnny Carson show.”
— Dialog as only the Philippine film industry can dub

Teddy Page in the director’s chair. Philippines War flick mainstay Jim Gaines penning the script that he also stars in. And Gaines brings along pals Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance . . . in a Silver Star Film Company Production.

Load the tape. Let’s roll the stock music and jittery n’ wobbly opening titles and get to the explosions.

Well, unlike the last couple of films PWFs we’ve watched this week, at least this one has opening titles and credits all of the actors. But you are probably wondering who in the hell Robert Mason is. Well, Mason is another of those expatiated American actors who appeared in all of our beloved Philippine war and post-apoc flicks throughout the ’80s.

Mason is also an actor that achieved a level of Michael Sopkiw-ness in my VHS spoolin’ heart.

While Sopkiw bailed after four — better made, natch — Italian ditties (2019: After the Fall of New York being the pinnacle, IMO), Mason kept it going in these Philippine patch jobs for 30 starring roles, beginning with Willy Milan in the apoc-epic Mad Warrior. If there’s a made-in-the-Philippines actioner with the word “Commando,” “Vengeance,” “Warrior,” “Blood,” or “Thunder” in the title: Robert Mason was in it. The B&S About Movies elusivie Warriors of the Apocalypse by Bobby A. Suarez (with Roger Moore’s daughter Deborah Barrymore, aka Deborah Moore!): Robert Mason was there. A ripoff of Oliver Stone’s Platoon with Assault Platoon (1990): Robert Mason was there. Need a solid actor to prop up Sam “Flash Gordon” Jones in a Mad Max rip: Robert Mason is there in Driving Force.

So, we are in 1982 Cambodia and already, we’re in a firefight-for-no-reason with a helicopter and a tank, so there’s more money spent on this than most Philippine Rambo rips. We think. It could be stocked-out from another film. But whatever the hell this fight is about, we do know from the conveniently dropped voice over that “Operation Green Hornet” failed and left 600 dead. And one of those two soldiers stranded for enemy capture is “Wild Weasel” and he is lost. Or “Wild Weasel” is a MacGuffin of some sort.

Why an unarmed civilian passenger copter flew into a war zone for an extraction is not a question we should be asking. We should also not be asking why all of expositional dialog is spewed in only wide shots with no close ups: for we know that is to cover the fact that is a patch job from a couple of left over Southeast Asian films from the ’70s doin’ the Viet Cong Two-Step in the Rambo ’80s. At least we think it’s a patch job. With these films you just don’t know: there’s stock footage and there’s shot linking material and none it matches well and none of it makes sense. But there’s all of those cheap-to-make exploding huts and bamboo and palm-thatched roofed guard towers blowing up that we expected. Even thought might be from another film. Like that errant tank. And helicopter.

Oh, my god. Budget! There’s a machine gun-packin’ river patrol boat? A gun battle with a Cambodian Junk. Oh, my god! They blew up the gun boat? And Mason is in the footage? Wow! Actually real footage was shot?! And, what . . . that’s it? So much for waiting for one hour for that excitement. Well, back to the mismatched office footage with white guys in wrinkled military fatigues man-bitchin’ about stuff that probably has to do with greed because in these films us Americans are never about the democracy but the green we don’t want the Russians to have. Fuck the poor Cambodians, aka the Philippine “ahiiiyaaaah” extras, because to quote Gordon Gekko: “Greed is Good.”

So, through the shot-through-cheese cloth cinematography and more babbling about a “common enemy” of the Kampuchean people, we come to learn that “Wild Weasel” — since we never actually seen the jet or the crash — is a new, top secret jet with an advanced rocket system. And U.S. Air Force Pilot Captain Ted Wilson (Robert Mason) was shot down by the KGB (the KGB and CIA are always at it in these films). Or the KGB sabotaged the jet; again, we never seen the jet or the KGB baddies or an airstrip. And now our Captain is behind enemy lines. And amid all of this is Paul Vance’s Colonel organizing a rescue mission. Not so much for God. Or country. Or the men. But for the plane, boss. The plane. We know this because a couple of dopey white guys bicker over “Wild Weasel” and money and drop “Johnny Carson” jokes at the 30-minute mark.

“Hey, this sounds a lot like that Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman-starring plane-shot-down-rescue flick Behind Enemy Lines, only without the Carson jibe,” you ponder.

Nope. This was made 15 years earlier . . . in the Year of our Sly n’ Arnie. Oh, and just so you know the era we are in: keep your eyes open for those ubiquitous Ronald Reagan pictures on the desks and walls. But that may be stock from another film. Or maybe those set designers for Silver Star thought the Reagan pics tricked us into thinking we are in the States and not in Manila that’s masquerading as Cambodia in a film that is also masquerading as a third installment of the “Commander” series. What was Commander I and II, you ask us. Again, this is a Philippine war movie with no plot and no characterization and all so interchangeable and you need not ask why.

Just enjoy the War Without End on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.