Directed by David DeCoteau and written by Benjamin Carr and David Schmoeller, fan love for the puppets brought them back five years after Puppet Master 5 was supposed to end all of this. Most of the story takes place at The House of Marvels, a museum run by Dr. Magrew (George Peck) and his daughter Jane (Emily Harrison), who soon meet a gas station employee named Robert Winsley (Josh Green) who is a sculptor. As he works on a puppet for the doctor, he starts having nightmares that he is turning into wood. He also nearly kills a man who attacks Jane and the Magrew explains that they all have a violent side.
By the end of the movie, the puppets have turned on the doctor and come to the side of Robert, particularly when the young artist’s soul is placed into the puppet he created, Tank. He then blows the head off the doctor while his daughter watches. So yeah — revenge is sweet when you’re small.
Sure, most of the puppet animation is just recycled from the other movies. And yeah, this is pretty much the same movie as Sssssss. Yet I think you have to appreciate that level of exploitation balls, you know? It’s nearly Italian.
14. A Horror Film About Insects (No Bigger Than Humans)
Directed by Terence H. Winkless and written by Robert King — and based on the novel by Eli Cantor — The Nest has a great poster going for it. I stared at it in the video store for the longest time and now, decades later, I’ve finally watched it.
Sheriff Frank Luz (Richard Tarbell) has a lot to deal with. Dead dogs are showing up all over town. Books are falling to pieces. And his ex-girlfriend Elizabeth Johnson (Lisa Langlois,Happy Birthday to Me, Deadly Eyes) is back.
I dated a bug scientist — an entomologist — for a few months and I always told her that her experiments would lead to situations like this. She thought I was stupid and she was right, but I know that Dr. Morgan Hubbard (Terri Treas) is behind all of this, experimenting on cockroaches until they get cat sized and who needs that? How was that supposed to help?
This movie has human cockroaches and a cat cockroach, because it wants to make you puke. I mean, well done, you know?
Also: the studio this was made in dealt with cockroach infestations for years.
14. THE RUBY ANNI-VHS-ARY: Watch something that came out in 1982. #onlyonVHS!
Based on the novel by James Hardiman and directed by Kevin Connor (From Beyond the Grave), this movie starts with a samurai committing murder-suicide when he catches his wife with another man. The house, as you can pick up from the title, is haunted and that’s the nightmare world that the Fletchers — Ted (Edward Albert), Laura (Susan George) and Amy (Amy Barrett) — end up living at.
The spirits of the house possess Laura and she ends up having an affair with Ted’s friend Alex (Doug McClure), which seems like the kind of excuse guys use to get away with getting caught. Seriously, a samurai and the dead spirits of his wife and her secret lover made me do it. They also turned into spider crabs and pushed our little girl out of a tree! Why don’t you believe me?
Connor related a story about one of the lovemaking scenes in this movie: “The interesting story about this is that the producers wanted a more graphic sex scene, which wasn’t in the script. So Edward Albert and Susan George agreed to do it on their terms which was that Susan would wear her panties because of an experience she had had on Straw Dogs where somebody at the lab (allegedly) had copied some of the revealing out-takes from her nude scenes – so she certainly wasn’t going to let that happen again. You can imagine how difficult it was to shoot a nude scene with both your leads wearing underwear, but it worked out very well.”
Between ninjas and ghost samurai, Susan George’s early 80s really were something.
Armand Mastroianni directed The Clairvoyant, The Supernaturals and He Knows You’re Alone, so he has to have some understanding of horror. Sadly, this is another funny — so they say — episode. David Gerrold wrote plenty of TV — maybe we can’t blame Louis Haber, one of the credited writers, who didn’t — so one wonders why an episode where the entire plot is summed up as politicians are clowns ever made it to air.
Dick Shawn is Bo Gumbs, a politician drinks whiskey, dancing with a maid and talks about politics with the bellboy. Then, as he sends his clothes to the laundry, surprise, he ends up having clown shoes.
Remember when George Romero was once the guy who had nuanced commentary in his films and then suddenly his later movies felt like the most obvious messages ever? I worry that he was compromised by this show, which often takes the easiest way to 22 minutes of syndicated storytelling.
SLASH Filmfestival is Austria’s largest event dedicated to fantastic cinema. Founded in 2010, it quickly grew in size and scope, attracting close to 15.000 visitors over its 11-day run. Each year’s program is comprised of 50+ Austrian, European or international premieres of highlights from the field of fantastic cinema, ranging from crowd-pleasers to hot docs, from fiercely independent films to heritage revivals.
FANTASTIC SHORTS COMPETITION – CHAPTER I: “Being true to yourself can be tricky, especially if the powers that be love telling you how you should act. With the disruptive wave of a Q-tip that could be a magic wand, SLASH conjures fresh and feral perspectives in which young girls and women quickly grow wise to the fact that they don’t need anyone to figure themselves out. Join us for a walk on the wild side where supportive sisterhood, secret covens and pack hunting are all on the spectrum of self-reliance that fuels the fire of self-empowerment. Enter the feminocentric space of these wickedly modern works and experience a rite of passage in which reconnecting with one’s roots triggers an ancestral rebirth that transcends limitations and expectations. As roaring women reclaim the dinosauric ferocity of their voices and nourish their bodies—with nonconforming warts and unplucked feathers!—however they see fit, men will learn the consequences of not zipping their lips. Marakachi…”
Huella (2021): Directed and written by Gabriela Ortega, this gorgeous short has Daniela (Shakila Barrera) escaping from the drudgery of her work-from-home customer service agent job when the ghost of her grandmother (Denise Blasor) who makes her consider if the fleeting moments of dancing she does upon her rooftop are enough.
Generally, ghosts come to us in films to shock or attempt to hurt us. Not so here, in a movie whose name means “fingerprint.” Ghosts can hopefully shock us from our set lives and help us change the path of our lives. This movie only has fourteen minutes and yet does so much with them.
Spell on You (2021): Salomé is ten years old and has a wart on her nose. This — and the way her father treats her — leads to her being disgusted by her own reflection. At night, she spies on her parents through the keyhole. And there’s weirdness all around her. I was surprised — I should have studied that English title as this was originally called La Verrue which means the wart and doesn’t spell it out — to discover that Salomé is destined to be a witch and escape the pain of her childhood, the ways that her father treats her — shoving her from his embrace and screaming that she’s infectious with her wart — and embracing who she is truly meant to be. Director Sarah Lasry has created a gorgeous looking film that stands between our real world and the world of the occult.
Blood Rites (2021): Directed by Helena Coan and written by Polly Stenham (The Neon Demon) based on the story by Daisy Johnson from her book Fen Stories, this is all about Arabella (Ellis George), Rose (Mirren Mack) and Great (Ella-Rae Smith), three vampiric women losing control as they hide in a house in the English Fens. This seems like a first version of a longer and more complex film, but for what exists now, it’s really well made and has some moments of true horror as you watch these young women feed. All three leads are quite talented and really embody their roles.
The novel that this was based on never explains if the girls are vampires, cannibals or just insane; hanging out a pub called the Fox and Hound, luring men back to their home to surround and devour. Johnson sets up the women quite starkly: “When we were younger we learnt men the way other people learnt languages or the violin. We cared only for what they wanted so much it ruined them. Men could pretend they were otherwise, could enact the illusion of self-control, but we knew the running stress of their minds.”
This is quick, dark and makes you want to drink more.
Fledge (2021): Directed by Tom Kouris and Hani Dombe, who also wrote this movie, Fledge is all about a young girl who is part of the Russian immigration to Israel in the 90’s named Elina. As she tries to fit into her new country, meet friends and overcome her mother leaving her behind, she also starts to grow feathers, painfully plucking them from her body every day before anyone else can see her. Created in a stop-motion animation style, Fledge has a unique look and a good story to tell as well. It really struck me with its art direction and how its unreal look and concept created genuine characters and authentic emotions.
Chicks (2022): Geena Marie Hernandez directed and wrote this tale of a “girly, cotton-candy colored slumber party” that transforms into an occult ritual when Polly (Nikole Davis) is invited to join the popular upper echelon of high school royalty for a sleepover. Yet Lizzie (Jena Brooks), Kelly (Maddie Moore) and Jazz (Lilliana Simms) have plans for her and honestly, I could see the witch elements rolling in but I had no idea where this was going, nor did I get the pun of the title until the end of the film. I’ll let you go in as blind as I was, but man, this looks great, like a pink candy nightmare and the end is wonderful. Well done.
The Coupon (2021): Wendy (director Laura Seay) gave her husband (writer Micah Cohen) a silly coupon book for his birthday, including a get one oral favor free offer. You never cash in these coupons. But when he runs over a man (Adam J. Harrington) and doesn’t want to report it to insurance, he ends up giving him all the money in his wallet, as well as the coupon and a ride to the hospital. Now, the coupon has come back to be collected.
This is a movie that takes a simple idea and delivers it flawlessly. I had a blast with this one, as even though you can see the punchline coming, it’s still so well told.
The Vienna Chainsaw Massacre is a shot on video movie that has a restaurant on Rennbahnweg as its location and stars a group of altar boys and has a Ministry soundtrack that wasn’t paid for and runs sixteen minutes and recreates the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Leatherface dancing and spinning with his chainsaw except these kids did this in public and people are just walking around and not even wondering why a killing machine is running a chainsaw.
Director, writer and star Martin Nechvatal made a sequel with the incredible title Horror Maniacs: I Want to See Pigblood! and is still filming stuff, often making docs about other films in addition to his own movies. He has also put on a stage play — that has been filmed — called The Maneater – Anthropophagus and yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.
I have to tell you, kids making their own gore films with Ministry playing as chainsaws tear through flesh should be a whole run of movies and not just this one. But yeah, this one is pretty fun.
This week, instead of Tubi picks, here are some of my favorite channels to watch on YouTube.
Found Footage Festival: Champions of VHS since 2004, Joe and Nick from the Found Footage Festival resurrect old VHS footage from thrift stores and garage sales and serve it up in a live touring comedy show and a weekly live show, VCR Party, every Tuesday at 9pm ET. They also have a Saturday Morning Cartoons show and also Midnight Rental, which is hosted by late night horror hostess Lenora, who currently co-hosts The Big Bad B-Movie Show on The CW in Cleveland. Midnight Rental takes viewers on a tour of tapes that are of lesser known and lesser loved movies who never quite found their footing, but still deserve their 5 (15 would still be too generous) minutes of fame.
I’ve been a huge fan of the Found Footage Festival for years and want more people to discover them. Some of my favorite videos are below:
Good Bad Flicks: Cecil Trachenburg loves movies and loves talking about them. I love his channel, where he’s steadily increased his skills at making videos that really break down cinema.
What Makes This Song Stink: Pat Finnerty is a musician who has strived to remain musically moral, not selling out and wondering whether or not he can still get a hot tub out of his career. His videos are, without a doubt, the best thing on the Internet, filled with a love of music even if he hates the song. His weekly podcast has been great as well, rarely even discussing the song and instead wanting to truly get to know his guests. His Weezer, Train and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–rBP8_QuwILenny Kravitz breakdowns are just astounding. I also have him to blame for introducing me to the song “Fancy Like,” which I hate beyond the boundaries of hate.
The Made-for-Television Movie: Here’s the mission statement from the channel: Our Mission: To post all 6 seasons of The ABC Movie of the Week anthology. The ground-breaking series aired from 1969 to 1976, catapulting the fledgling network to high ratings. Too many television movies have been forgotten. Most are out of print, or not available on DVD. Many have not been seen since they were first aired. Now after 50 years, audiences are rediscovering television movies, as interest brings them out of obscurity. Join us as we create an archive of made-for-television movies.
Vintage Toilets Pittsburgh: There are actually two vintage Pittsburgh toilet channels, the other one called PottiesInPittsburgh. I have no idea what would motivate someone to get into this many places — some are some places where they had to get some kind of sneak in help — and film toilets. A fetish? Definitely an obsession. He’s up to almost 5,000 toilets.
Wu Tang Collection: From the mountains of China, to the streets of New York, The Wu Tang Collection brings the best, rarest, and finest in Asian Action Cinema, Martial Arts and beyond.
This week on the Drive-In Asylum double feature, we’ve got Brad Hogue and Richard Glenn Schmidt of Doomed Moviethon to discuss two TV terrors, Don’t Go To Sleep from 1982 and Bad Ronald released in 1974. Get ready to watch them both on Saturday at 8 PM EST on the Groovy Doom Facebook and YouTube pages.
13. A Horror Film That Takes Place at a Fair, Carnival or Amusement Park.
Leonard Kirtman mostly directed adult, churning out titles like The Seduction of Cindy, Up Desiree Lane and Confessions of a Candy Striper, often using the name Leon Gucci. This is one of the few movies he made without penetration yet it has all the feel of a New York City-made porn from 1970.
Shot in Coney Island — I would not be surprised if there were no permits and no one had any idea they were even filming — this movie revolves around the people who are killed after winning a teddy bear at the booth of Tom (Earle Edgerton) and his hunchback-heaving assistant Gimpy (John Harris, the stage name for Burt Young!).
There’s a district attorney called Dan (Martin Barolsky) who gets called down to investigate, but he’s so dumb that he brings his fiancee Laura (Judith Resnick) along to the carnival and man, defund the slasher police.
No set dialogue. Scuzzy looking footage. Gore from the Herschell Gordon Lewis school of pause on the guts. A great moment where a tunnel of love ends with a screaming survivor and a headless blood spraying victim. So much repetition. Sound effects out of nowhere. Folk music. Cool jazz. A drunken sailor. Bad relationships. Death is everywhere.
They called this the Final Chapter but come on. When has that ever been the case when a movie gets that tagged on?
Sutekh is a demon from hell out to destroy all of the puppets, new hero Rick (Gordon Currie) is in jail for the murders of the researchers from Puppet Master 4 and Dr. Jennings (Ian Ogilvy), the new director of the Artificial Intelligence research project, just wants Toulon’s secret.
Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunneler, Torch, Six Shooter and Decapitron are the heroes this time. It’s funny to see characters that once killed humans saving them, but nearly all horror characters are doomed to become good guys at some point.
The same team that made the last film — which was shot back to back with this one — are back on hand, like director Jeff Burr and writer Charles Band (who had some assistance from Steven E. Carr, Todd Henschell, Keith S. Payson, Jo Duffy and Douglas Aarniokoski). The cost-cutting is still here, as the music comes from Meridian and Robot Wars. The crew also had all of their paychecks bounce on the same day and walked out together.
I wonder how Clu Gulager felt about all of this when he did his cameo.
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