Monthly Archives: November 2020

Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion: Top Line (1988)

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Editor’s Desk, May 2023: Once again . . . we were simply crossing off another Mill Creeker from another Mill Creek box set, just because we love Mill Creek. And as with another lost, fellow Mill Creeker, UFO: Target Earth, as well as with the equally VHS-forgotten Delirium and Calamity of Snakes, Top Line is receiving its own hard-media restoration, this time from the folks at Cauldron Films coming in August 2023 — intel on that release, to follow.

So, yeah, here’s what we had to say back in November 2020 during our annual Mill Creek box set unpacking extravaganza.

We can blame this Italian hodgepodge waste bucket of influences — shot and theatrically released under the title of Alien Terminator, becoming Top Line for video — on George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for giving us their joint jungle-sci-fi Indiana Jones adventures. Oh, and James Cameron for The Terminator. And once you toss in a dash of John Carpenter’s They Live, a soupçon Ron Howard’s Cocoon, and a pinch of Robert Zemeckis’s Romancing the Stone, you’ll know why we don’t revere the resume of Ted Archer, aka Nello Rossati, with the same vigor we give his fellow Italians Lewis Coates, aka Luigi Cozzi, and Al Bradley, aka Alfonso Brescia, in the digitized pages of B&S About Movies.

Warning: Scene on the VHS sleeve may vary from the actual movie.

I mean, you know how gaga for giallo and poliziotteschi genre films we are in this neck of the Allegheny wilds . . . and we never reviewed La gatta in calore, aka The Cat in Heat (1972; the worst of the Argento imitators), and I figli non si toccano!, aka Don’t Touch the Children (1978; the clunkiest of the Death Wish–Magnum Force clones). So what does that tell you?

It tells you that this isn’t a tribute to the science fiction B-movies of the 1950s — like the Lucas-Spielbergian film it’s thieving: it tells you this is an insult to the science fiction B-movies of the 1950s it is thieving. For it is a celluloid larceny that would give Glen “Larceny” Larson pause.

Just because we can. And the fact that Sergio Martino can’t sue us because Hands of Steel was, itself, a ripoff.

It tells you that not even the very cool Franco Nero (of the superb giallo The Fifth Chord and equally cool spaghetti western Keoma) and the always reliable George Kennedy (who was obviously on hard times, considering he did this and the possessed cat-on-a-boat romp Uninvited in the same year) can’t save this jungle-sci-fi adventure. It tells you that not even the plastic cyborgs, the rubbery-gooey extraterrestrials, and awfully-dubbed Nazis can save it. (Okay, we’ll give Rossati-Archer bonus points for the somewhat decent cyborg and the alien make-ups. Ah, but he loses them for dubbing George Kennedy with one of the worst faux-German accents, aka accidents, in cinematic history.)

What balls! The story comes comes back at ya’ a third time in 1989’s Cy-Warrior starring Henry Silva in place of Franco Nero, who was in place of John Saxon back in 1986 with Hands of Steel.

And what is a “top line” and what does a “top line” have to do with the movie? (Damned if I know. My attention span was FUBAR’d by the proceedings and I was too lazy to rewind to find out.) Why ditch the more exploitative Alien Terminator? Best guess: Blame it on the always-changing-their-minds producers: “We want Alien . . . wait, we want The Terminator . . . wait, turn the lead into an Indian Jones-type character. And dupe renters into thinking they’re getting a romantic, Bogey and Becall adventure, so ditch the aliens and cyborgs. Hey, can we have him runaround barefoot like Bruce Willis?

Argh!!!!

Franco Nero plays Angelo: a washed-up writer living in Cartagena, Colombia, whose search for conquistador gold leads him to a mountain cave where he uncovers a 15th century Spanish galleon inside the hull of a UFO. (Okay, it’s not a bad set, actually; but the VHS-to-digital prints of the film that circulate are so muddy, the “majesty,” if any, is lost.) Yes. You heard me right: a galleon inside a UFO, inside a cave, behind fake rock “door,” inside mountain, in the middle of the Colombian jungle.

And you thought Ruggero Deodato’s Raiders of Atlantis was an “epic adventure beyond that rivals Rambo* and Mad Max**.” Think again. And you thought Michele Massimo Tarantini bait-and-switched you with the no-actual-dinosaurs-appear-in-this-movie Massacre in Dinosaur Valley. That’s right. Think again — provided this movie didn’t already compromise your cerebral cortex.

Yep. Massacre Ninja is another Godfrey “Oh, no” Ho rip off joint — comes complete with typo.

So how did Angie-boy end up here? Cue the bitchy ex-wife-who’s-also-my-publisher-boss trope (Octopussy-era bond girl Mary Stavin, who didn’t fare any better in the inept radio-slasher Open House). Then cue the Aztec dagger Angie discovers that he can sell and save his ass. And cue the bodies that start dropping like flies because Angie found the dagger. (Or was it the cave: don’t care.) And George Kennedy as the troped (blink-and-miss), cackling Nazi antiques dealer after him because of the dagger. And the KGB that are after the Nazis, who are after Angie, because they want the dagger. And the aliens . . . who send in a cyborg (Rodrigo Obregon of a bunch of Andy Sidaris movies?!) adorned with curly hair, an unbuttoned David Hasselhoff red shirt, and a hunk of plastic stuck on his face that comes complete with a whirring eyeball).

Watch out for the bull!!!

Oh, and speaking of James Bond: Nero hooks up with his own Kate Capshaw in Deborah Barrymore, aka Deborah Moore, aka Roger Moore’s daughter (who actually made it into the Oscar-winning Chaplin . . . but also did Warriors of the Apocalypse for Manila-flick purveyor Bobby A. Suarez of They Call Her . . . Cleopatra Wong fame). Oh, and how deep is the rip-offness of it all: Nero looses his shoes John McClane-style in the jungle as he runs from the bad guys so, you know, you think that you’re watching a Die Hard clone because the Romancing the Stone cover gag didn’t work.

Oh, how did Franco Nero get into this mess?

Never mind. This friggin’ mess is one of those analog gems that makes us bow before the VHS-to-digital altars of Mill Creek Entertainment. So take off your shoes, strap on a popcorn bag, and watch this one on You Tube. Ah, the caveat: The print is pretty washed out and I have a feeling the Mill Creek version may not be much better. But that’s how it goes in the wilds of the lawless, analog public domains. For not every movie deserves a 4K Blu restoration . . . but it deserves to be packed amid 50 other lost water-bobbers to enjoy.

Doh!

Flash forward to August 2023 . . . as Cauldron Films restores and reissues Top Line as part of their new three-Blu-ray reissues bundle with the fellow Italian ditties Off Balance and The Last Match.

This new version of Top Line — a 2k restoration from the orginal negative — is limited to 1500 copies. Extras include interviews with actor Franco Nero and filmmaker Eugenio Ercolani, a featurette on the alien theories of the film by parapolitics researcher Robert Skvarla, an audio commentary by film historian Eric Zaldivar, as well as audio interviews from cast members Deborah Moore and Robert Redcross, and insights on Italian cult films with Italian acting warehorses Brett Halsey and Richard Harrison (Three Men on Fire). There’s also a booklet, a double-sided poster, and a high quality slipcase with artwork by Ghanaian artist Farika — yes, the one behind those crazy-ass overseas VHS tapes we love — courtesy of Deadly Prey Gallery. If you’re not familiar with the art form: this post from Not So Innocents Abroad will get you started.

You can get more information on the reissue at Caulderon Films. Our thanks to Cinema Arcana and The Disc-Connected for the Facebook heads up!

Yep! We reviewed all three films from the Calderon reissue to get you up to speed.

Spaghetti Western Alert: Franco Nero reteamed with director Nello Rossati in the 1986 “comeback” Western, the critical and commercial bomb Django Strikes Again. We reviewed that, and about two-dozen others (including Nero’s 1966 turn in Django), during our “Spaghetti Westerns Week” that ran from Sunday, August 16, to Saturday, August 22.

Movie Theme Drink Alert: Hey, Sam! I can mix drinks based on movies, too! I give you the Top Line Terminator:

  • 1 ounce coconut rum
  • 1 ounce vodka
  • 1/2 ounce blue curacao
  • 1/2 cup pineapple juice

The blue curacao, when mixed with the other liquids, will turn green — like an alien. Enjoy!

Such a bargain for those who can’t drop the coin on the Cauldron reissue.

* Check out our “Sylvester Stallone” week of reviews.

** Check out our two-part “Atomic Dust Bin” tributes to the Mad Max-inspired cycle of films.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion: 984: Prisoner of the Future (1982)

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Before his best known, first studio-backed film, The Gate, and its sequel, The Gate 2: The Trespassers . . . long before he passed up the chance to direct A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master . . . before I, Madman . . . long before he started churning out the mockbuster hoards of Ice Spiders, Mega Snake, and Destruction: Los Angeles for the SyFy Channel . . . before he got into the Hallmark Christmas movie business alongside our equally beloved Fred Ray Olen and David DeCoteau, Hungarian-born Tibor Takács shot this failed Canadian TV series pilot programmer in 1978. Courtesy of the Star Wars-infused sci-fi market, it was shook loose from the analog dustbins onto home video shelves in 1982. Criminally allowed to fall into the public domain, this well-written and produced production (on a budget, natch) turned up as a track selection (aka The Tomorrow Man) on numerous bargain-basement DVD compilations.

Primarily known as a talent manager, studio producer and engineer, this CBC telefilm-pilot was Takács’s first professional feature film project, after his self-produced feature film debut, Metal Messiah (1978), a long-form rock opera/video which starred two bands from his stable: Kickback and the Cardboard Brains. (We’ve wanted to review Metal Messiah since forever, but have been unable to locate a copy. And yes, we’ve had I, Madman (1989; with Jenny Wright!) on our shortlist of must-reviews since our 2017 review of The Gate. We’ll get to it, one day . . . what the hell . . . courtesy of our annual October 2020 “Slasher Month,” Sam reviewed it, finally!

As you read this review, please take into consideration my crazed fandom for Patrick McGoohan’s surreal psychological drama The Prisoner, concerned with the imprisonment of an intelligence agent, of which this Orwellian-influenced tale reminds — only with the resourceful, low-budget production designs of PBS-TV’s 1980 production of Ursula K. Le Guin’s 1971 novel A Lathe of Heaven. (Again, take into consideration of my fandom of that PBS adaptation igniting my sense of nostalgia for Takács’s dystopian tale.) And speaking of PBS-TV, one will also have a sense of Tom Baker-era Dr. Who déjà vu in the production designs (especially in the prison’s Cylon/Cybermen-styled sentries) and its cast of Shakespearian-skilled thespians.

Since Takács knows we are, at the very least, familiar with the dystopian tales of Aldous Huxley with Brave New World and more importantly, George Orwell’s 1984, 984: Prisoner of the Future dispenses with long-winded set ups in establishing how The Movement came into power and gets right into it: how affluent businessman Tom Weston became “984” by way of his entries in a ratty diary from the walls of his prison cell, which triggers a series of flashbacks to the mind games played by Warden Dr. Fontaine (the steely-excellent Don Francks (his work dates back to ’60s TV’s The Man From Uncle), his interrogator.

Don’t let the fact that this Canadian TV tale fell into, it seems, public domain territory due to a lack of legal due diligence on the part of the CBC, deter you from watching. This is a quality work by Tibor Takács that rises above the usual public domain or still legal, yet forgotten, odds ‘n’ sods from the VHS-era finding a new, digital home on these DVD box sets that brings the ol’ ’80s video store shelves to the abode.

You can watch 984: Prisoner of the Future on You Tube or own it as part of the “Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion Box Set.” You Tube also offers the trailer. Be sure to join us as we examine Tibor’s career and films with our “Drive-In Friday” featurette.

Our thanks to the digital librarians of Wikipedia for referencing this review as part of the “List of Dystopian Films” page.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

ANOTHER TAKE ON: Amazon Women on the Moon (1987)

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We covered this movie on February 23, 2019, but to be perfectly honest, I could watch this movie every single day. Directed by five different people — Joe Dante, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Horton, John Landis and Robert K. Weiss — and starring tons of folks that I love, it’s the most perfect of all cinematic junk food.

Rather than give you a breakdown of everything that airs on WIDB-TV (channel 8) during its broadcasting day, I’ll just touch on the fact that this movie unites so many of my favorite people in one place.

There’s Russ Meyer as, well, Russ Meyer the video store owner, because what other place would have giant movie posters all over it for Supervixens? An assortment of comedians enacting a roast in the place of a funeral, with Charlie Callas, Rip Tayor, Jackie Vernon, Slappy White, Henny Youngman and Steve Allen being upstaged by Joe Dante favorite Belinda Balaski, who goes from sadness to anger to comedic force in one incredible performance. Ed Begley, Jr. as the Invisible Man. William “Blackula” Marshall as the leader of the Video Pirates. Henry Silva appearing in Unsolved Mysteries years before that show was a thing (it debuted in 1987, most of this film was shot in 1985). David Alan Grier as Don “No Soul” Simmons, something that never fails to make me smile. Andrew “Dice” Clay before anyone knew who he was, shooting Ken Wahl’s wife and getting Jimmy Olsen in trouble. And oh yeah — the main segment has Steve Forrest (the star of S.W.A.T. and Mommie Dearest‘s Greg Savitt), John Travolta’s older brother Joey, Lana Clarkson (Barbarian Queen and, sadly, a future Phil Spector victim), Sybil Danning and Forrest J. Ackerman as the President of the United States in a movie that should star Zsa Zsa Gabor. Stick around after the credits or you’ll miss a picture-perfect Kroger Babb riff starring Carrie Fisher and one of my favorite movie people to ever exist, Paul Bartel. Oh! I almost forgot Monique Gabrielle as Taryn Steele!

I have no idea who this movie was for other than for me. It’s a movie that speaks the language of the movie geek long before the internet existed and was doomed to bomb (or play HBO forever and find worshippers).

I’m so happy to have the new Kino Lorber blu ray of this. Beyond featuring a documentary with interviews with nearly everyone involved, it also has the deleted segments Peter Pan Theater, The Unknown Soldier and The French Ventriloquist’s Dummy. Plus, there are outtakes of every single routine from the roast of Harvey Pitnik and audio commentary from Kat Ellinger and Mike McPadden.

You can get the new blu ray from Kino Lorber, who were nice enough to send us a copy. This is one of those movies that I feel that everyone should have in their collection. There is no way that I can be unbiased on this one.

Ladies Should Listen (1934)

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Directed by Frank Tuttle (A Cry In the Night) and starring Cary Grant, this romantic comedy is all about switchboard operator Anna Mirelle (Frances Drake, Les Misérables) who falls in love with Grant’s character of Julian De Lussac, a man she has only met over the phone. To win him over, she’ll have to break him up with his current love, Marguerite (Rosita Moreno, The House of a Thousand Candles), which is actually a good thing, as she’s already married to Ramon Cintos (Rafael Corio) and the two of them are about to swindle him out of a nitrate mine.

Meanwhile, Julian’s best friend Paul Vernet (Edward Everett Horton, the narrator of Fractured Fairy Tales) is growing mad at him because he’s lost the eye of millionaire heiress Susie Flamberg ( Nydia Westman, who was in two Bulldog Drummond movies).

If this feels like a stage play, that’s because it was based on one by Alfred Savoir and Guy Bolton. The screenplay was by Claude Binyon and Frank Butler.

You can get this as part of Kino Lorber’s Cary Grant Collection, which is a great opportunity to own some of the actor’s earliest films on blu ray.

Noise In the Middle (2020)

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After the sudden death of his wife Sara (Tara Buck, Ginger from True Blood), Richard (John Mese) is left behind to care for his non-verbal autistic daughter Emmie (Faye Hostetter). Before she died, Sara had set up an experimental therapy for her daughter and rented a house near the center that would treat her. However that house is haunted, as is Richard, who has started to indulge in drinking and drugs, all while the voices in that house — and the ones in Emmie’s head, begin to possess her latent psychic powers.

To add to that cocktail, now Sara has seemingly come back from beyond, speaking to Richard, who is sure she’s here to help him. But is it really his wife? Or something evil?

Noise In the Middle has an intriguing idea, which was written by Glen Kannon and Marcus McCollum, who also directed. You may grow frustrated with Richard, who is continually pointed in the right direction by, well, everyone in this movie, only to do the exact opposite at pretty much every turn.

That said, there’s some solid acting here and the actual emotion of loss and trying to understand how to be a parent afterward seems honest, even when the horror elements get in the way.

You can see this exclusively on the Kings of Horror channel until it is available on demand on December 11.

 

Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion: War of the Robots (1978)

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Editor’s Note: This review previously ran as part of our Mill Creek Chilling Classics Box set tribute on November 8, 2018.

Paul Andolina, whose writes the site Wrestling with Film, is in charge today. Beyond loving wrestling, he also knows a ton about Russian and lucha films (and he even speaks pretty good Spanish, so we hear!).

War of the Robots — originally titled La Guerra dei Robot — is an Italian science fiction film released in 1978 most likely to cash in on the franchises of both Star Trek and Star Wars. I’d like to imagine this film came about when Alfonso Brecia and Aldo Crudo were as high as cucuzzi (Italian squash) are long which just so happens to be extremely.

I could not ask for a more crazy colored sci-fi romp than what this film offers. Female scientist Lois and male professor Carr are on the cusp of something extraordinary; they soon will be able to create any creature they want and make the first immortal man! However, their plans are cut short when a mysterious group of gold-clad humanoids attack and abduct them. It’s up to Lois’ lover Captain Boyd and crew to rescue them from their captors.

War of the Robots has a lot of twists and turns during its hour and thirty-nine minute runtime. There also is a cut of the film that is four minutes longer but the cut included on the Chilling Classics set is the shorter one.

When the crew finally gets to Lois and Dr. Carr it turns out nothing is what it seems at all. Louis is now an empress and Carr is mad with power over the gold-clad humanoids who turn out to be androids. The inhabitants of the planet Louis and Carr are taken to also happen to be wrinkly old monster folks. The latter half of the movie turns into a whole scale war. Battle is waged in caves, palaces, command decks and even in starship space battles.

This movie has a bit of everything; it’s got phasers, it’s got laser swords, it’s got mutants who live on irradiated asteroids but most importantly it has West Buchanan! West Buchanan is an American actor who starred in his fair share of Italian genre films. It just so happens that West Buchanan looks like he could be Harley Race’s twin brother. Harley Race is a wrestler who has worked for NWA, WWE, and WCW. I was really surprised how similar they look. Now the reason I bring that up is that I’m a collector and avid watcher of films that star professional wrestlers. That’s not the sole reason I enjoy this film so much it’s not the greatest film by any means but those who like campy science fiction films should find plenty to enjoy. I think most folks will especially like the scenes where androids are sliced in half by laser swords.

I must also point out the amazing score is by Marcello Giombini who also scored some of the Emmanuelle films, Sabata and even Antropophagus. If you have the chance to watch this I do recommend it. Apparently it is part of a series of science fiction films by director Alfonso Brecia, The films that precede it are War of the Planets, Battle of the Stars and it is followed by Star Odyssey. I hope I stumble across the other films as I truly did enjoy this film.

You can watch this one of the many uploads of War of the Robots on You Tube.

Don’t forget: We also reviewed Brescia’s Star Odyssey as part of our month-long tribute to the release of Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker. You can catch up with all of those reviews with our “Exploring: After Star Wars” featurette. And we way over thought Brescia’s “Star Wars” movies with one of our weekly “Drive-In Friday” featurettes: “Pasta Wars with Alfonso Brescia.”

Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion: Hands of Steel (Vendetta dal futuro) (1986)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sean Mitus grew up watching Chiller Theater from Pittsburgh and has been a drive-in enthusiast for the last six years. Sean enjoys all genres but has become interested in Italian horror, thriller and action movies most recently.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is one of Sam’s favorite movies to write about. As such, it’s appeared on the site before, first appearing on June 24, 2018, and then again as part of our Mill Creek Pure Terror Month on November 5, 2019.

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Hands of Steel (1986) is the tale of two films divided by the sad death of actor Claudio Cassinelli. By 1986, the copycat Italian film industry was in full swing. A major influence was Terminator spawning many sci-fi actioners. Hands of Steel was directed by Sergio Martino and produced by his brother Luciano Martino under Dania Film. To capture American audiences the Martino brothers were credited under pseudonyms – directed by Martin Dolman and produced by Frank Cook.  A major sign of the schizophrenic nature of the script is that Hands of Steel had 7 credited screenwriters. The budget was largely spent on location shooting and stuntwork.

So first the story: Hands of Steel begins in a dystopian future New York City, shades of Soylent Green. Daniel Greene in one of his first starring film roles, after many TV appearances, portrays a cyborg assassin sent to kill a leading pollical candidate. Greene begins to feel emotions and flees the city. Big corporate bad John Saxon sics his top agent portrayed by Robert Bisacco after the cyborg. Here the film shifts to location shooting in a sparse Arizona setting.

After failing to capture Greene’s cyborg, John Saxon orders Bisacco’s assassin “fired” (killed) and new corporate hunter played by Claudio Cassinelli is now sent out to kill the cyborg. Along the way Greene becomes entangled with a bar owner played by Janet Agren which further awakens his emotions and memories. In addition to being chased by a corporate assassin, Greene runs afoul of George Eastman’s evil truck driver. After Cassellini fails to kill Greene’s cyborg, John Saxon’s character comes to Arizona to “fire” Cassellini and take care of the cyborg himself.  A tense showdown with many chases and explosions eventually leads to the film’s final showdown between Greene’s cyborg and Saxon’s big bad. Admirably, Martino ends with an unresolved situation between Greene’s cyborg and Agren’s bar owner.

So what happened? Due to scheduling and/or budgeting, the outdoor and action set-pieces were shot first on location in Arizona. Tragically, Claudio Castellini and his Helicopter Pilot were killed during filming the stunt of flying their helicopter under a high-span bridge. Their craft hit the steel span of the bridge and plummeted over 500 feet into the Colorado River below. The Pilot was never recovered but prescribed drug (appetite suppressant) was found in his room. Controversial to this day, is why Cassellini was in the aircraft. Director Sergio Martino insists Cassellini wanted to impress his son.  Whereas actors George Eastman and Daniel Greene challenged the need for Cassellini to be in the helicopter for such a long shot.

Castellini’s death left all the early New York City scenes unfilmed. It led to Martino and the 7 screenwriters to overhaul the script by creating the Bisacco corporate assassin first, have him replaced by Castellini, and then have John Saxon take over for the conclusion.  Sharp observers will note the rapid cutting of the medium shot of Cassellini’s “firing” with an apparent double. Hands of Steel makes the most of its low budget with some decent action set pieces. Sadly, Claudio Castellini didn’t live to finish the film and go on to continued success. Daniel Greene went on to a prosperous career in action films, many more with Director Sergio Martino.  In a surprising turnabout, Hands of Steel may have influenced an American film in return. Universal Soldier (1992) anyone?

Recommended!

References

  1. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091166/reference
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vendetta_dal_futuro
  3. http://www.arizonawrecks.com/wrecksfrombradgray/pagechopper.html

Again, we’ve previously reviewed Hands of Steel as part of Mill Creek’s Pure Terror Set, as well as part of Mill Creek’s Sci-Fi Invasion Set and our “Fucked Up Futures” feature chronicle of post-apoc films. We also reviewed the ripoffs of the ripoff that is Hands of Steel with Top Line, aka Alien Terminator, and Cy-Warrior, aka The New Terminator (check out that art work!).

The Beast Beneath (2020)

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We’ve covered a few of Dustin Ferguson’s movies here before — we have a few more in the stack of films to watch as well — and he’s been as busy as anyone I can think of in years when it comes to getting out new horror movies. He’s made everything from Die Sister, Die! and Silent Night, Bloody Night 2: Revival to two (going on three) Amityville films and continuations of the Meathook Massacre and Nemesis films. He’s definitely a fan in his heart — he had dreams of owning his own video store — and the fun of that comes through in his films.

The Beast Beneath is all about a 2,000 year old monster — I’ve seen it described as a daddy long-legs — that gets released after an earthquake. There’s only one person who can stop it and that’s brilliant and gorgeous scientist Charlene Brinkeman (Brinke Stevens, the model for Betty in The Rocketeer comics as well as the scream queen who was in such favorites as The Slumber Party Massacre, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Nightmare Sisters and so many more). Luckily, she has her brother Aaron (Eric Prochnau, Meathook Massacre Part VI: Bloodline) along for some help.

However, the town has a mayor who has seen Jaws way too many times, Mayor George Reid (Mel Novak, Black Belt Jones, Truck Turner and, of course, the Chuck Norris movies An Eye for an Eye and A Force of One and the Bruce Lee film Game of Death). Fergusson is smart to keep his movies tight — 70 minutes — and filled mostly with in-camera effects and good looking cast members. There’s even a bonus scene in 3D, if you can find a pair of glasses.

And how cool is it that this movie debuted on WGUD, an actual low power television station in Pascagoula, Mississippi?

Ferguson claims that he was inspired by films like Rattlers, The Savage Bees, Bog and Blood Beach, as well as made-for-TV horror movies. It shows — this is a fun throwback to those movies while it’s constantly changing look ads fun for movie geeks.

Also appearing are Shawn C. Phillips (who will be in Ferguson’s upcoming Amityille In the Hood), Jennifer Nangle (who is horror host Malvoila The Queen of Screams and also is in the upcoming sequel to the Italian film series Zombi VIII: Urban Decay), Sheri Davis (Blind), Mike Ferguson (who was in the DMX and Steven Seagal movie Beyond the Law), Ken May (Meathook Massacre 4), Raymond Vinsik Williams (Los Angeles Shark Attack), Geovonna Casanova (Angry Asian Murder Hornets), Lee Turner (who hosts the After Hours Cinema TV show that this movie debuted on) and Tino Zamora (Tales from the Campfire 3).

You may notice that several of the movies mentioned come from Ferguson. Like I wrote above, the guy sure is prolific. It feels like he would have fit right in to the Shot On Video horror section of some imaginary mom and pop video store, right alongside Spine, The Ripper and Splatter: The Architects of Fear.

You can get The Beast Beneath on DVD right here. You can also learn more at the official SCS Facebook page.

Cold Light of Day (1989)

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Detectives have been called to a residential address in the London suburbs after a blockage in the drains turns out to be human remains. Dennis Nilsen is brought in for questioning, and while he seems like a normal person at first, he would come to be known as the “British Jeffrey Dahmer.”

If you haven’t seen or heard of this fictionalized account of these murders before, no worries — after winning the UCCA Venticittà Award at the 1990 Venice International Film Festival — it went largely unnoticed.

A grainy 16mm effort with sound design that seems to want to punch you repeatedly in the face, this is by no means an easy watch. In no way does it glorify the violence or reasons behind these killings, but takes a dispassionate, almost documentary-style approach to the proceedings.

This is writer/director Fhiona-Louise’s only full-length film, but the Arrow re-release also contains two of her shorts, Metropolis Apocalypse and Sleepwalker, as well as a new commentary track from her. This limited edition — 2,000 copies only — release is a must for lovers of true crime and confrontational experimental cinema.

You can get this from Arrow.

 

All Joking Aside (2020)

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Shannon Kohli has worked in TV, directing episodes of Riverdale and The Magicians. With a script from James Pickering (his first full-length film. although he did write a short version of this called Comedianne in 2014), she tackles the world of what it takes to be a stand-up.

Charlene Murray (Raylene Harewood, who has been in some small roles but really seizes her moment here) was inspired by her late father’s dream and wants to try comedy at an open mic night. However, she’s heckled by Bob Carpenter (Bruce Markinson, who has also been in several movies in small roles but really is great in this), a burned-out comedian who just may become her mentor.

I really enjoyed that Bob makes Charlene realize that she has to determine what is different — or even wrong — about who she is before she can create the kind of comedy that will win over the crowd. It’s not enough to be funny. She has to be different. She has to be herself.

All Joking Aside is available on demand. You can learn more at the official site.