Author Archives: R.D Francis

Checkered Flag or Crash (1977)

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If it looks like a low-budget Drive-In potboiler and plays like a low-budget Drive-In potboiler . . .

Hey, be nice! This isn’t a duck . . . this a Paul Heller and Fred Weintraub production backed by Universal Studios!

Come on, now, you VHS packrats. You know your Weintraub-Heller oeuvres by now. Fred and Paul brought us the martial arts classics that are Enter the Dragon (1973), Black Belt Jones and Golden Needles (1974). Then they went blaxploitation with Isaac Hayes in Truck Turner (1974), went apoc with The Ultimate Warrior (1975), and gave us Jim Kelly in Hot Potato (1976) and Peter Fonda in Outlaw Blues (1977). Behind the lens is Alan Gibson who gave us Goodbye Gemini (1970) . . . .then ended up doing things like Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972) and The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973). Behind the Brother P111299 Valiant is Michael Allin, who not only brought us the aforementioned Enter the Dragon and Truck Turner, but also gave us a big-screen Telly Savalas in Border Cop (1980) and the beautiful, Star Wars* dropping-disaster that was Flash Gordon (1980).

And who’s up on the big screen thespin’ with burnin’ rubbers and oil?

Well, we’ve got Joe Don Baker (who, in the same year, also tore up the asphalt in Speed Trap; reviewed later this week . . . then he ended up in Joysticks), Susan Sarandon, Larry Hagman, and brother of Jesse, Alan Vint (Earthquake, Macon County Line, Unholy Rollers).

Now, with a pedigree like that, this duck is gonna fly . . .

Baker is washed up NASCAR driver “Walkaway” Madden, known for his hardcore “crash or win” attitude . . . and he always walks away from those crashes. Larry Hagman is Bo Cochran, the slippery Southern entrepreneur who convinces Walkaway to be part of “The Manilla 1000,” his big, 3-day off-road spectacle tearing through the Philippine jungles. And Bo tosses Susan Sarandon’s photojournalist C.C Wainwright in the cockpit to capture all the action.

And what “action” do we get?

Well, lots of grumpy-sexist Madden and bitchy Wainwright innuendo-cum-PG profanity bickering on their way to love . . . and lots . . . and lots of sand rails, retrofitted VW Bugs, and “motorcicles” (courtesy of Hagman’s good ‘ol boy drawl) racing around . . . and around . . . and around.

Hey, wait a minute! Back up the Bug, there Joe Don.

This sounds exactly like Harry “Tampa” Hurwitz’s Safari 3000 . . . only with Joe Don Baker and Susan Sarandon in the David Carradine and Stockard Channing roles . . . who were actually in the Burt Reynolds and Sally Field roles . . . hey, this is a Smokey and the Bandit** rip off!

And “quack” goes the duck. But if you’re a Joe Don Baker completist, then this soggy Mallard is for you.

Oh, and emptor the caveats, kiddies . . . this Universal Studios epic is not to be confused with Charles Band’s 1976 occult-cum-car crashing epic Crash! starring Sue Lyon and John Carradine (and ripping off 1975’s Race with the Devil) or 1963’s The Checkered Flag, the directing and writing debut by William Grefe (Mako: Jaws of Death and Whiskey Mountain).

You can watch a free rip of Checkered Flag or Crash on You Tube.

* We reviewed a gaggle (I know that’s a geese reference, work with me, Cletus) of Star Wars droppings and ripoffs with our “Exploring: After Star Wars” featurette.

** Hey, Cletus! Did you know we also reviewed a tar barrel load of hicksploitation flicks? Be sure to check out our “Top 70 Good Ol’ Boys Film List” featurette. It’s a good ol’, down home load ‘o fun, son!

About the Author: You can read the music and film reviews of R.D Francis on Medium and learn more about his work on Facebook.

Deadline Auto Theft, aka Gone in Sixty Seconds III (1983)

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This second and final film in H. B. “Toby” Halicki’s Gone in 60 Seconds trilogy is a meta-fiction piecemeal effort that incorporates the opening chase scene from The Junkman (aka Gone in 60 Seconds II), which chronicled the making of a car chase picture; thus Deadline Auto Theft is the “movie” that was being made in The Junkman. Adding to the meta: since this film is the actual “sequel” to 1974’s Gone with 60 Seconds, this is also marketed in other quarters as Gone in 60 Seconds II. And if it all looks familiar that’s because this is a trimmed-alternate cut of 1974’s Gone in 60 Seconds with footage from The Junkman cut into it. And Hoyt Axton, for the sake of continuity, returns from The Junkman for new scenes.

“You got that, B&S reader?”

“I think so. Is there at least a plot or is this just a lot of racing around?”

Well, there’s a little both.

Watch the chases and crashes.

After the theft of his whiny future son-in-law’s priceless Bricklin (Dan Grimaldi of Don’t Go in the House fame), LAPD Captain Gibbs (Hoyt Axton; who was an “actor” in The Junkman, but a real character here, based on his role in The Junkman, ugh.) declares an all-out war on master car thief Maindrian Pace (H. B. “Toby” Halicki); meanwhile, Pace avoids capture to fulfill a contract to steal 40 cars.

That’s basically it: a rewrite of all the chases by plane, by car, and by helicopter — and the ensuing crashes — that you know and love, shot and edited to the tune of $1 million. And it made bank via the drive-in circuit and VHS shelves. And it’s awesome.

You can watch the full movie on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

The Junkman, aka Gone In Sixty Seconds II (1982)

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H.B. “Toby” Halicki, the director of 1974’s Gone in 60 Seconds fame, wrote, directed, produced, and stars in this second installment of his Gone in 60 Seconds trilogy — a meta-film that presents that 1974 drive-in blockbuster as a film-within-a-film alongside the filming of Halicki’s “new film,” which is Deadline Auto Theft. The Junkman and Deadline Theft Auto are both centered on the theft of a rare 1974 Bricklin SV-1.

Watch the trailer and the car crashes.

When we meet junkman-turned-stuntman-cum-filmmaker Harlan B. Hollis, his movie Gone in 60 Seconds has taken Hollywood by storm and is set to premiere at L.A.’s famed Cinerama Dome. He’s also in production of his new movie, The Junkman, which stars Hoyt Axton as Captain Gibbs.

Does this have a plot? Or is it just a lot of car chases n’ crashes?

Well, a little of both.

Jealous of his brother-in-law’s success and angered by his sister’s crash in the new, red Mercedes that came as result of the film’s success, sociopath Michael Fox (Christopher Stone, wife of Dee Wallace; both starred in The Howling), who works as Hollis’s public relations manager, hires a team of assassins (two hitmen and one slinky-sexy hitwoman with a designer handgun) to kill him on the way to the yearly “James Dean Festival” in Cholame, California, to promote the film.

Of course, the bullets fly as the cars, the crop-dusting biplanes, and the helicopters crash in a flurry of non-stop action — or guffaws as result of all the improbably, over-the-top crashes. There’s even an epic scene with the Goodyear Blimp (!), which Harlan commandeers to save the Cinerama Dome from being blown up by the assassins under Fox’s employ. And if pinching John Frankenheimer’s 1977 epic Black Sunday wasn’t enough, Halicki and Christopher Stone sport tux and three-piece suits as they battle it out on the movie theater’s roof James Bond-style.

Seriously. For reals. This movie is sick . . . and a bag o’ chips.

So, yeah. If you want action and crashes, this is your film, but wow . . . since much of this was filmed on-the-fly without permits, it offers strained acting that leaves the proceedings look like a Larry Buchanan conspiracy fakeumentary — about H.B. “Toby” Halicki dealing with the price of fame — and not an actual H.B hackjob of his own film.

But, my god, do I love this friggin’ movie!

You can watch the movie on You Tube HERE and HERE — and based on the clean rips, they’re from the 2001 DVD officially reissued by H.B.’s wife Denice Shakarian Halicki. Remember: H.B. died in August 1989 completing a stunt for the “official” Gone in 60 Seconds 2 sequel to the 1974 original.

The caveat of those DVDs: They’re void of the rock ‘n’ roll and country music soundtrack (four tunes written by Hoyt Axton, with two performed by Axton and two by Freddie Cannon and the Belmonts) from the original film and its initial VHS release — and replaced with a generic synthesizer music score. For example: The great, original theme song written for the film and sung by Axton, “James Dean and the Junkman” is excised for an awful Beverly Hills Cop synth-ripoff.

But alas, we found a fan-restore soundtrack version HERE. So if you want to own this — with the original soundtrack and uncut scenes — you’re better off finding the original VHS by Trans World Entertainment, which contains the original unedited/unaltered film.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Double Nickels (1977)

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Editor’s Update: We’ve recently learned this car-crashin’ classic will receive a hard media reissue via Dark Force Entertainment. Learn more with their January 2022 Facebook post.

While it’s not an official sequel, car aficionados and ’70s drive-in connoisseurs consider this rebel-rousing Smokey and the Bandit ripoff as a “sequel” to 1974’s Gone in 60 Seconds, as result of most of the cast and crew — Jack Vacek in particular, who serves as writer and director — from Gone appearing-working on this film; when Burt Reynolds broke box office records in his Pontiac Trans Am infomercial, this was re-released to drive-ins as Split-Second Smokey.

Watch the trailer.

If you’re familiar with the plot and action of Gone in 60 Seconds, then you’re up to speed and ready to enjoy this loose hicksplotation entry in the drive-in derby. This time, instead of a professional car thief . . . Smokey is the bandit, aka car theif, as two highway patrolmen (Jack Vacek and Ed Abrams from Gone) who pick up extra cash repossessing cars . . . and come to realize they’re working for a car theft ring. They, of course, spring into action to break up the ring and stay out of the slammer.

Is it dumb and pointless? Yep. But it’s also a lot of fun and the amateur Vacek and Abrams actually make an affable screen duo and the comedy is well-written and executed. Vacek went on to work with H.B Halicki on his own follow ups to Gone: The Junkman and Deadline Auto Theft.

Vacek’s second and final film is the even more obscure and hard-to-find 1988 Dirty Harry knockoff Deadly Addiction (that made it onto home video as Rock House), starring Vacek and his wife, Trice Schubert, from Double Nickels.

To say this film has fans is an understatement. You can find a wealth of extended clips centered on the car chases and crashes — with at ’72 Plymouth Satellite and ’68 Chevy Chevelle going head-to-head, among others — as well as uploads of the film, on You Tube.

From the Phantom 309 files: In addition to the film trivia assist (see the comments, below) with Double Nickels, the Phantom schooled us on a Smokey Bites the Dust and Escape to Witch Mountain connection. No, really! Who knew?

From the “New World Pictures Month” files: In March 2023 we had a Roger Corman blow-out and offered up a second take on Double Nickels.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Gone in Sixty Seconds (1974)

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Editor’s Note: All this week, from Sunday, December 6 to Saturday, December 12 we’re featuring car flicks. Welcome to our “Fast and Furious Week II” of reviews.

When the commercials ran on television for this . . . oh, man, we, the wee-little middle schoolers freaked out. Everyone in my class went to the drive-in to see this, and my parents took me, along with Kevin and Tommy from the neighborhood, along with a sky-blue-metal-with-red-logo Pepsi cooler filled with drinks and snacks to the neighborhood quad-drive in.

The theatrical original.

The late H. B. “Toby” Halicki developed his lifelong affection for speed while working as a young boy at his family’s New York towing business and assisting his father in his second-hand car dealership business. After experiencing the loss of his two brothers, he decided to move to California for a fresh start; he came to own an impound and towing business, H.B. Halicki Mercantile Co. & Junk Yard.

Fascinated by the world of film around him Los Angeles, he decided to use his impound and junkyard’s resources to make the ultimate car-based action film: Gone in 60 Seconds. And with no previous film experience, he assigned himself as the film’s writer, director, producer, star, and, most importantly, its lead stuntman and coordinator. He was Tommy “The Room” Wiseau before Tommy — only better.

Since this was all about car chases and automotive destruction that’s centered around the now iconic (dialogless) escape of Maindrain Pace (H. B. “Toby” Halicki) — a 40-minute car chase ensues, with 93 vehicles destroyed across six California cities stretching fom Long Beach to Carson.

Halicki had the action sequences all planned out, so there’s no “official script” for the film, outside of a few pages that outlined its thin plot and its related dialog, which was mostly the product of improvisation and ad-libbing by the amateur cast. In addition, Halicki incorporated some good ol’ fashion Roger Corman ingenuity: when he heard about a train derailment in the area, he incorporated the tragedy into the “plot,” so as to increase the film’s production values.

Drawing from his life experiences, Halicki’s anti-hero of Maindrian Pace is a respectable insurance investigator who runs an automobile chop shop in Long Beach that serves as the homebase for his professional car theft ring. He conceals the stolen cars by incorporating parts (and VIN numbers) from legitimately purchased wrecks.

His profitable business goes off the rails when a South American drug lord makes Pace an offer he can’t refuse: steal 48 vintage and exotic cars, along with limos and semi-trailer trucks for $400,000 under a deadline. Pace accepts the work order.

And that takes us back to us wee-lads convincing our parents to take us to the drive-in on the film’s opening weekend: shot for $150,000 the film went onto gross $40 million.

Now, everyone knows about the has-nothing-to-with-the-original 2000 remake starring Nic Cage (we’ll always be a “Nic Cage Bitch”), but did you know (as with Easy Rider), there were no less than four sequels to Gone in 60 Seconds?

The first was the sort-of 1977 sequel titled Double Nickels, so dubbed because it featured most of the cast and crew from Gone, including Ed Abrams, Mick Brennan, George Cole, and Jack Vacek.

Then, in 1982 and 1983, Halicki recycled footage from Gone into the meta-fiction “sequels” The Junkman and Deadline Auto Theft, both which feature Mick Brennan from Gone. The cinematographer from Double Nickels, Tony Syslo, also worked on those “sequels.”

While “Gone in Sixty Seconds II and III” are interchangeably used as titles or subtitles on The Junkman and Deadline Auto Theft in their various reissues in various markets, Halicki began shooting the actually Gone in 60 Seconds 2 in June 1989 with himself and his new wife, Denise, as its stars. Not taking any chances, and as with most sequels, Halicki stuck to the original story — only a bigger and badder version — concerned with the exploits of an international car thief.

Two months later, on August 20, 1989, the film — with its plans to crash n’ smash 400 cars, was over. Halicki died while filming a dramatic stunt centered around the destruction of a 160 foot water tower that fell on the car and killed him instantly.

After several trials over his estate culminating in 1994 with a final decision, Halicki’s wife, Denise, vowed to finish the sequel. And that film eventually became the Jerry Bruckheimer-Nic Cage 2000 remake (Sam’s review).

The remake with the Cage!

There’s two choice to watch the 1974 original HERE and HERE — the second with a fan-restored, original soundtrack version. Here’s the official Mill Creek reissue trailer.

From the “New World Pictures Month” files: In March 2023 we had a Roger Corman blow-out and offered up a second take on Gone in 60 Seconds.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Drive-In Friday: Elvis Racing Nite!

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Hopefully you joined us — and enjoyed — our “Fast and Furious Week” tribute during the first week of August as we honored the Universal franchise, along with its ripoffs and knockoffs, and the obscure and off-beat, rubber-burning drive-in epics from the ’50s through the ’80s that influenced the those films.

And guess what?

That 40-plus film blowout still wasn’t enough . . . as one car flick skidded into another, then another . . . and before we knew it, we had another 40-plus reviews. So, to get you ready for our second “Fast and Furious Week Redux” to run from Sunday, December 6, to Saturday, December 12, we’re rollin’ out Elvis’s car racing trilogy.

Facts are facts: Elvis flicks served us heaping helpings of cheesy camp starring “The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll” in a wide array of professions. He was a convict, a boxer, a cowboy, a riverboat captain, a helicopter pilot, and a cowboy — who always found the time to sway his hips and sing his latest hits for a bevy of skintight, carpi-panted ladies. And road racing, be it stock cars, Grand Prix or road rally racers, was a hot sport in the ’60s. So why not place Elvis in a flame retardant suit, strap on a helmet, and slip him into a cockpit?

Viva Las Vegas (1964)

The best and most popular of Elvis’s race excursions was his role as Lucky Jackson. He’s a down-and-out waiter and aspiring racer who dreams, schemes, and parties with Rusty Martin (Ann-Margret) as he gathers up the cash to buy a new engine for his cherished Elva Mk VI Maserati so he can enter the First Annual Las Vegas Grand Prix. His man competition is mean ol’ Count Elmo Mancini and his Ferrari 250 GT. And Yep. That’s good ‘ol Uncle Charlie (William Demarest) from the iconic ’60s TV series My Three Sons as Ann’s pop.

And get this: the music and dance scenes were choreographed by David Winters . . . yes, the very same David Winters who gave us — wow, it’s not even a Star Wars dropping — the Battlestar Galatica pile that is 1988’s Space Mutiny.

Only on B&S About Movies, baby.

Spinout (1966)

Poor Elvis. Col. Tom Parker never let The King rest. But in Col. Tom’s defense: he was a master at keeping Elvis in the spotlight while he was overseas serving in the military. After Viva Las Vegas, we got seven more films within a two year period: Kissin’ Cousins, Roustabout, Girl Happy, Tickle Me, Harum Scarum, Frankie and Johnny, and Paradise, Hawaiian Style.

This time out, El is Mike McCoy, a band leader moonlighting as a race car driver who must decide between breaking up with Cynthia Foxhugh (Shelley Fabares) or lose her father’s sponsorship for the big race. This time, El’s trades out his Elva Mk VI for a Cobra 427. And keep your eyes peeled for the eye pleasing ski n’ snow bunnies that are Diane McBain — who’s determined to steal Mike from Cindy — and crushed on by his band’s female drummer, played Deborah Walley.

Speedway (1968)

MGM went all out for El’s third and final race flick, casting NASCAR stars Richard Petty, Buddy Baker, Tiny Lund, and Cale Yarbrough in cameos — to help us forget we’re watching a film comprised of stock footage with El process-shot onto the race track. This time out, El is Steve Grayson, a stock racer who only has eyes for IRS Agent Susan Jacks (Nancy Sinatra) and sees his career going up in smoke thanks to bad bookkeeping courtesy of his manager’s gambling addiction. And keep your eyes open for Bill Bixby and ’60s drive-in warhorse Ross Hagan in support roles.

“We gotta win this race, Elvis!”

We’ll see you bright and early, 9 AM, on Monday, December 6th as we roll out a week of over 40 more road rippin’ and rubber burnin’ flicks, as well as a “Drive-In Friday” tribute to Drag Racing documentaries, as part of our “Fast and Furious Week” round up of reviews.

Flicks not starring Elvis . . . but about Elvis.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Vinyl Generation (2020)

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Imagine a world where undercover cops attend record swaps and concerts — and arrest people for crimes against the government.

In Czechoslovakia, it was a reality.

In our recent “Rock ‘n’ Roll Week” review of the Sex Pistols The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle and The Filth and the Fury, we discussed punk — the music, the fashion, and attitude — was an artistic expression of the frustrations of the British working class and unemployed against the stodgy and greedy British class system. In America, with the advent of the Ramones in New York and X in Los Angeles — while it was admittedly less street and more Tribeca and Sherman Oaks — an antithesis subculture to mainstream music arose; a coterie network of fanzines, stores, and club venues to promote the music and the (commercialized, new-waved in America) message.

And those same frustrations — with even greater political and cultural consequences — flourished in the Czechoslovakia.

In this 2016 Czech import, Vinyl Generation chronicles the generation that came of age during Czechoslovakia’s Velvet Revolution — a non-violent transition of power that lasted from November 17 to December 29, 1989 — which signaled the end of communist totalitarianism in Eastern Europe.

As with their late ‘70s British brethren, late ’80s Czech teens used the West’s punk and burgeoning alternative-grunge music to initiate a cultural shift — even if it meant breaking federal laws, as it was illegal to buy or sell Western records and magazines (at swaps held in city parks) or attend underground, unauthorized concerts. Some of those illegal concerts featured Lou Reed, Frank Zappa, Mudhoney*, and Lydia Lunch (Cha Cha), whose never-before-seen concert footage is seen here — at least by U.S. audiences — for the first time.

You can learn more about this Dark Star Pictures release at the film’s official website vinylgeneration.net and official Facebook page. You can begin streaming the film on Amazon Prime and Vudu and on Tubi (as a free-with-ads-stream) on November 26, 2020.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Disclaimer: This was sent to us by the film’s PR company. That has no bearing on our review.

* We explored a wide array of Grunge-era films with our “Exploring: 50 Gen-X Grunge Films.”

There’s also more music-oriented films to be discovered with our “Exploring: Radio Stations on Film” featurette. Other recent rock-docs we’ve reviewed include Suzi Q, Desolation Center, Lo Sound Desert, and CREEM: America’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll Magazine.

Asteroid-a-Geddon (2020)

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“Don’t make the mistake of judging me based on my appearance. Ignorance can be a real bitch.”
— Alexandra Svoboda, the world’s leading punk rock metallurgist and geochemist

This movie has two things going for it: Eric Roberts and no IMDb reviews (at least not at the time of this writing). That means when PPV surfers and VOD streamers discover it on their cable menus (like I did) or on Amazon Prime streams, they’ll hit the IMDb for some plot and production background, and B&S About Movies sees an uptick in traffic. It’s a win-win for everyone. Yes, even for the studio that made it: The Asylum.

Uh, oh.

Is this another Shark Encounters of the Third Kind? And are we finally launching a fleet of mechanized robo-space sharks to save the Earth, you know, like back in good ol’ Godzilla days, when the green guy became a friend of man? Are the space amoebas of Yog (1970) kaiju’in us a space octopus and only marine biologist Eric Roberts can save us?

Nope.

Déjà vu of the rock. Only cheaper.

But we do get an asteroid ready to hit the Earth in fifty days. And a bickering multinational summit more interested in their individual country’s ambitions than the world’s safety. And — once again — bad, bad Russians (see Airliner Sky Battle) who don’t listen and launches the nukes everyone told them not to launch — and makes the situation worse, natch. Luckily, we do get Eric Roberts (The Arrangement, Lone Star Deception) with a set of four stars on his shoulders — with his under 10-minutes of screen time spliced throughout the film — to keep us watching. And we get a hot, fuchsia-haired punk rock geochemist (Veronika Issa) to keep us watching . . . and is it just me, or she wearing Ron Keel’s demin vest?

You’ve got the right to rock, and break my heart, Alexandra.

And we get Alex’s cancer-stricken, metallurgist-expert billionaire father who dies before he finds the answer, you know, so we think we’re watching Carl Sagan’s Contact. And we’ve got a Russian shuttle — that looks suspiciously like a decommissioned U.S. shuttle — launching rockets, because it makes us think about how the Russians stole our Skylab guidance system in Space Cowboys. And we’ve got a U.S. rocket meant for a Mars mission overhauled to carry a nuclear payload. And we get a CGI space plane, Copernicus, launching a CGI space probe, Aristotle, sporting a nifty rock-splitting laser known as a “Transducer” that punk rock girl built. And we’ve got the Divine Will, lead by one named Malachi (because all religious whack jobs must have a biblical first name), a merry band of mountain-based paramilitary religious nuts who — instead of praising God for giving man the intelligence to build techno-trinkets like a Transducer to stop asteroids — hacks the Tranducer weapons platform to thwart the mission because, well, destroying the asteroid defies “God’s Will.” And we get weapons that don’t work so — instead of being hit by one big ass rock — we’re bombarded by, as the title implies, an CGI asteroid-a-geddon that lays waste to Las Vegas and the Philippines. Oh, and Australia, but that’s okay; the “hits” are mostly in the unpopulated Outback, because, well, what’s a few dead aborigine natives down under when you’re covering up your f-ing up Armageddon.

And what we don’t get and desperately need: more past-their-prime celebrity actors that make these Asylum mockbuster disaster rips so much fun in the first place. Yeah, it’s cool to have Eric Roberts on board — even if he sits in a chair the whole time. But where’s Ian Zierling (as a hero astronaut), Tara Reid (as the Geo-scientist), and John Heard (as the religious nut) when we need them?

To that end: Most of the actors here are new the game, with our leading-lady Veronika Issa making her big screen debut in Fast and Fierce: Death Race, released by The Asylum earlier this year. The real standout of the cast is the most experienced actor of the cast — sans Eric Roberts — Craig Gellis, as Malachi. His 70-plus resume features support roles in TV series across the Big Three networks, including a leading role in the recently reviewed indie-horror Legend of the Muse. He’s really good here, so we’re looking forward to seeing more of him on screen — and in bigger, marquee-quality roles.

In the writing and directing chair we have reformed stunt man Geoff Meed˟*, who racked up 60-plus acting credits in TV series and indie films (and a role in Fast Five) before an on-set injury led him on a journey as a prolific screenwriter — with 14 credits since 2007. We reviewed Meed’s Final Draft and Canon Red debut in our quest to review all things Amityville* with 2011’s The Amityville Haunting. And if you’ve spent any time with the SyFy Channel or got swept up in the streaming-verse, you’ve watch his mockbuster-penned flicks Bermuda Tentacles, Independents’ Day, Operation Dunkirk, Atlantic Rim, San Andreas Mega Quake, and yes, his Eric Roberts-starring aerodynamic ode to all things Tom Cruise, 2020’s Top Gunner.

As you can see from the trailer, while the dueling asteroid odes of 1998 — Armageddon and Deep Impact — are clearly the mock-models here, what we’re actually left with is a mock of the Star Wars-inspired** asteroid ode of 1979, Meteor. In that film we also got a lot of Greek designations like Icarus, Orpheus, and Hercules for the rocks and weapons. But we also got James Bond as the rock-expert dude, the dude from the old American Express Card commercials who did a Dario Argento giallo*˟ (Cat o’ Nine Tails) as a boondoggling politician, and Brian Keith from Hardcastle and McCormick ranting with a bad Russian accent about the L.A. Dodgers.

However, to Meed’s credit: he does his research and has a way with the techno-exposition, so everyone sounds like the experts they’re suppose to be. And the “science,” while not exactly grounded in reality, sounds convincing, never the less. But isn’t it all just a wee-bit too talky? Yes. Do we want more CGI-action? Yes. But for his second directing credit, Meed’s delivered us a serviceable retro B-flick — and for significantly less green than the $120 million spent on Warner Bros.’ Gerald Butler-starring boondoggle, Geostorm — which received across-the-board negative reviews criticizing it as a “lackluster” and “uninspired” work. And I still haven’t made it all the way through — in spite of its incessant cable airings — and never will. I have, however, since watched the Chinese-made The Wandering Earth three times.

And so it goes for film 600-or-something for good ‘ol Eric. And because of Mr. Roberts, I made it all the way though. And I had a good time. And the next time I see Meed’s name on a film (as with Eric Roberts) I’ll watch it, for Meed’s got the Brett Piper-cum-Mark Polonia to retro-touch I love (Queen Crab).

Now, let me go a eat fudge banana swirl with Dr. Alexandra Svoboda, for she is my punk rock girl.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies and publishes short stories and music reviews on Medium.

* Seriously, we really did watch ALL of the Amityville films, as our “Exploring: Amityville” featurette, proves.

** Our love for all things Amityville is only matched by our love for all things Star Wars, as our “Exploring: After Star Wars” featurette, proves.

*˟ Oh, boy! Do we love our Giallo round ‘ere. Check out our “Exploring: Giallo” featurette on the genre.

˟* Several of Meed’s films are available as free-with-ads streams on Tubi TV, so check ’em out:

Amityville Haunting (2011) — screenwriter and director
Airline Disaster (2010) — actor
Atlantic Rim: Resurrection (2018) — screenwriter
Bermuda Tentacles (2014) — screenwriter
D-Day: The Battle of Omaha Beach (2019) — screenwriter and actor
Hold Your Breath (2013) — screenwriter
I Am Omega (2007) — screenwriter and actor
Independents’ Day (2016) — screenwriter
Kickboxer 5: Redemption (1995) — actor
Operation Dunkirk (2016) — screenwriter
San Andreas Mega Quake (2019) — screenwriter
6 Guns (2010) — screenwriter and actor
Universal Soldiers (2007) — screenwriter

Airliner Sky Battle (2020)

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Am I nuts paying a $7.99 PPV rental fee for a direct-to-video potboiler from The Asylum? Should I have waited until it appeared on the Syfy Channel for free or, better yet, as a free-with-ads stream on Tubi TV?

Yep.

Ah, but this non-stop action potboiler stars the never disappointing, Chinese-American actress Bai Ling (Dumplings*) hoping back into the cockpit after the fun ride that was Exorcism at 60,000 Feet. And that was, if you haven’t guessed from the title, basically Evil Dead on an airliner. So, does this mean we’re getting a 747 going head-to-head with sharksodactyl?

Oops. Never assume anything when it comes to The Asylum.

This time out, The Asylum dispenses with their usual genre mash-ups and gets back into the mockbuster disaster movie business — under the skilled eye Asylum workhorse Rob Pallatina. You’ve seen his work as an editor and director for the studio with the likes of 2-Headed, 3-Headed, 5-Headed Shark Attack on the Syfy Channel and . . . if you’re a holiday dork like Samuel and I, you’ve watched Pallatina’s Christmas flick oeuvre of A Christmas Wedding Date, A Very Merry Toy Store, and A Very Nutty Christmas. Will we watch the upcoming Dear Christmas, Feliz NaviDAD, and Once Upon a Mainstreet?

With Pallatina’s name on it? Of course, we will! Remember, the B&S About Movies crew worships at the altar of Brett Piper (Queen Crab) and Mark Polonia (Shark Encounters of the Third Kind). Seriously, how can you not like a guy who does his part to bring us movies like Nazis at the Center of the Earth, and now, battling 747s?

So, yes. B&S About Movies is all in with Mr. Pallatina on this, his eight directing effort that, if you know your Pallatina oeuvres like we do, he’s familiar with the airline disasters milieu, courtesy of his third film, which was the 2018 Satan-on-a-plane romp Flight 666. The script comes courtesy of editor and casting director Alex Heerman (reality TV’s America Ninja Warrior and Masterchef) in his screenwriting debut — which we trust we be his first of many Final Draft ditties for The Asylum.

Yeah, I know. Everyone knocks The Asylum. But you know what? Pallatina and Heerman brewed one hell of an entertaining, non-stop over-the-top actioner . . . that’s lacking in realism, rife with strained acting encased in bad sets accentuated with obvious CGI-shots that fail to cover plot holes large enough to, well, fly a 747 through — with plenty of space to spare. But like a celluloid Energizer bunny, this movie just keeps on giving and giving, just like the low-budget Drive-In romps of yore. Just when you think it can’t get any more absurd . . . it does! And we love it!

So, in today’s in today’s sociopolitical climate, it’s all about bad rappin’ the Russians, as Middle Eastern baddies are now cinema passé. But we’re sure U.S. filmmakers will soon be serving up Chinese baddies to pinch-hit for the Reds. Or give us a Russian-China tag team dropping virus-filled bombs from a Goodyear Blimp on a football game in some Black Sunday-cum-Two-Minute Warning knockoff. Eh, so much for Sting’s commentary-out cry regarding Russia’s Cold War foreign policy and MAD doctrine. Obviously, these Reds of Airliner Sky Battle didn’t attend Sting’s October 2017 Russian concerts. Or appreciate Stallone’s big speech (Ugh, I know that clip embed, beneath, won’t last.) at the end of Rocky IV.

So, our cliched bad-Russian operatives are up to their usual international hijinks as they hijack a commercial American jet, which they’ll kamikaze into a nuclear power plant near Washington, D.C. — all for the love of Mother Russia — resulting in a fallout that will devastate the Eastern seaboard. And while the Russians (posing as airplane cleaners; so much for the cogs n’ gears of The Patriot Act) go all kamikaze on our Yank asses, the U.S. Air Force — when we’re at Defcon 1 and need to flush the bombers — goes all Keystone Cops. Where’s General Jack Beringer to piss on a sparkplug (Again, cursed fan-clip embeds!) when we need ’em? Not here! For this is the Asylum-verse, kiddies.

But how is this possible? We’re the world’s foremost superpower! Well, it seems a computer virus locked down the U.S. military mainframe, disabling our ability to launch a counteroffensive, because well, you know, the voting machines hacking-scam became boring.

And who will save us? Why, the marquee named Bai Ling, as Dr. Meili Liu, of course!

Meanwhile, up the air, the crew and passengers of another flight (the new-to-the-screen DeAngelo Davis, Xavi Isreal, and Alyson Gorske; each holding their own with aplomb in their first starring roles), which took off from the same airport, chase down the Russian terrorists. Of course, those passengers have just enough military and civilian-professional training to make it all work. And beware of the free-falling beverage carts!

Yeah, this is a big, dumb, stupid retro-sky where the rules of aerodynamics and physics do not apply . . . and so were the blinded-by-science ’90s actioners this Pallatina-Heerman brouhaha pinches from, such as Die Hard 2 (1990), Speed (1994), Executive Decision (1996), The Rock (1996), Air Force One (1997), and Con Air (1997), and Fast Five (2011). In fact, if you change out the airliner, here, for a skyscraper, and cast the Dwayne Johnson, and have Universal throw in a $120-plus million, you’d have, well Skyscraper. Okay, actually the cheaper-but-fun knockoff Crystal Inferno, aka Inferno: Skyscraper Escape, but you git what we’re gittin’ at, right, Cletus?

The Abortionist *

Speaking of Dumplings: Bai Ling and Fruit Chan are back together — in a familiarly-themed film — in the 2019 Cantonese-Mardarin language drama, The Abortionist. Nominated in the “Leading Actress” and “Best Director” categories for this year’s Golden Horse Awards held in Taiwan (in November), Ling stars as a Tai chi teacher with a secret life as a black-market abortionist. You’ll remember Ling won dual “Best Supporting Actress” awards at the Hong Kong Film Awards and Golden Horse Awards for Dumplings, Chan’s segment of the Three Extremes omnibus, in 2004.

Watch the trailer.

Hopefully, Ling and Chan will win in their respective categories, which will encourage an American distributor to release The Abortionist in the Western-domestic marketplace. At the very lest, we’ll hopefully be able to see The Abortionist on the free-with-ads stream Tubi TV platform, which afforded us the opportunity to discover and enjoy the recent Asian-imports Daughter and 0.0 MHz.

Argh! Bai Ling lost her leading actress nod to Chen Shu-fang in Little Big Women, while Fruit Chan lost his director’s nod to Chen Yu-hsun for My Missing Valentine. But we still have our fingers crossed The Abortionist will make it to American streaming shores.

You can watch Airliner Sky Battle as a PPV across various cable systems and stream it as a VOD on Amazon Prime and Microsoft, and as a stream or DVD rental from Red Box.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies and publishes on Medium.

Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion Recap!

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Every November we tackle a Mill Creek box of fifty movies. We started with the Chilling Classics set in 2018 and also did the Pure Terror one last year. You can grab the Sci-Fi Invasion set for $11 on Amazon, which is a great price for a ton of strange films.

As a matter of fact, whenever a “theme week” gobsmacks us and we need a gaggle of films to review — such as our recent “Fast and Furious Week” — a Mill Creek 12-pack never lets us down, as is the case with the Savage Cinema set. And, back in March, we were so giddy with glee that we finally got our own copy of 9 Deaths of the Ninja courtesy of the Explosive Cinema 12-pack, we paid it forward to Mill Creek and reviewed all of the films in the pack.

Here’s the list of 50 films we reviewed on the set. Many thanks to Eric Wrazen, Sean Mitus, Dustin Fallon of Horror and Sons, Robert Freese of Videoscope Magazine, JH Rood, Paul Andolina of Wrestling with Film, Jennifer Upton of Womany.com (she also writes for Horror and Sons), Bill Van Ryn of Drive-In Asylum, Phil Bailey, Cat Waller, Herbert P. Caine, and Andy Turner helping out with the reviews.

You can also see the list on Letterboxd.

Sam and I are exhausted. We go sleep now.

You can learn more about Mill Creek’s box sets and other releases at MillCreekEnt.com.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.