Mill Creek Sci-Fi Invasion: Hyper Sapien (1986)

“In the tradition of E.T.,” they say. Well, they aren’t talking about Leeza Gibbons and Mary Hart!

This is the next to last movie* directed by Peter R. Hunt, the venerable filmmaker who brought us the Bond films Dr. NoFrom Russia With LoveGoldfingerThunderballYou Only Live Twice and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. It was originally going to be directed by Michael Wadleigh (Woodstock, Wolfen), but he dropped out.

Three people are credited with the story: Christopher Adcock, Christopher Blue and Marnie Page. None of them ever made another film again, either so happy with this experience that they didn’t wish to sully it or so depressed by it they never came back. Or they were aliens and this is their story, then they went back to their homeworlds many lightyears away to make further movies that some strange life being is writing about as part of a box set of holocrons of movies that failed many life circuits — what you humans call years — ago.

The jury is, as they say, out.

Robyn (Sydney Penny from The Bold and the Beautiful and All My Children), Tavy (who was in the BBC series Holby City) and a furry beast named Kirbi are aliens that have left the planet Taros to visit Earth, where they befriend a boy named Dirt (Ricky Paull Goldin, who had the trunk full of class rings in the remake of The Blob).

Dirt decides to introduce the aliens to his grandfather (Keenan Wynn in his last role), who allows Kirbi to drink gasoline and join him as they shoot Coors cans. Then grandpa brings the alien to meet a Senator, and, well…things don’t go so well.

Talia Shire shows up in this, probably to get another name another than Wynn’s to sell this to foreign audiences.

So yeah. This is the kind of movie parents rented in the 80’s and put their kids in front of it, not knowing that it has an alien that looks like how women’s private parts did before shaving and waxing came into fashion. I mean, it’s supposed to be cute and it’s The Thing-level terrifying.

*The last one was the Bronson movie Assassination.

You can watch this on YouTube.

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