Lover of the Monster (1974)

Filmed at the same time as The Hand That Feeds the Dead, this was also directed and written by Sergio Garrone. It uses a similar cast and crew which is why so many confuse these films for each other. They also share some footage, so that is an easy mistake to make.

Anna (Katia Christine) is the heiress to the Rassimov fortune. The Ivan Rassmimov fortune? Well, if they built that crypt for The Hand That Feeds the Dead, they weren’t going to spend more money getting another last name put on it!

She brings her husband Alex (Klaus Kinski) to her family’s home, where he soon finds the diary of — yes! — Dr. Ivan Rassmimov, who learned how to reanimate the dead with electricity. Alex is impotent and despises his rival Dr. Walewsky (Ayhan Isik), who makes no secret of how he wants to cuck his rival. As he works on learning how to defeat death by attempting to bring his wife’s dead dog back, Alex is electrocuted and gets another personality because that’s how science works. He starts killing people, including his wife but he assaults her first because this is an Italian exploitation movie, and then has his conscience come back. A villager has been blamed for his crimes, so he runs to the city to stop an innocent man from being lynched. It’s too late — the man is already dead — and as Alex climbs the gallows, he is shot and killed.

Don’t believe the cast list you see online. Carla Mancini, Alessandro Perrella and Stella Calderoni aren’t in this movie. If you’re one of those people — I walk among you — that try to find Mancini in movies, well, save your time and energy for one of the other 240 movies that she may or may not be in.

This movie is an absolute mess, as production was halted and by the time shooting started again, Kisnki was gone. That’s why so much of it uses POV shots, stand-ins and murder scenes from The Hand That Feeds the Dead. You have to admire that kind of carny ingenuity, right?

Bollenti spiriti (1981)

Giovanni (Johnny Dorelli) has inherited a castle from his uncle Ubezio and this will help him escape all his many creditors as a company already wants to buy it for a luxury hotel. The problem? The nurse who took care of his uncle, Marta (Gloria Guida, La casa stregata), has been given a percentage of the property. He works on talking her out of her share so that he can sell, but falls in love. There’s also the problem of the randy ghost of his ancestor Guiscardo (also played by Dorelli) who has had sex and has stayed in the castle for three centuries. And oh yeah — the buyer of the castle? His wife Nicole (Lia Tanzi) is Giovanni’s latest girlfriend.

Directed by Giorgio Capitani and written by Franco Marotta and Laura Toscano, this feels a lot like the other sexy haunted house movies of this time, C’è un fantasma nel mio letto and La casa stregata. There’s also some funny — and sexy — moments with Lory Del Santo (The Great Alligator) as a sex worker hired to relieve the ghost of his virginal burden.

C’è un fantasma nel mio letto (1981)

There Is a Ghost in My Bed was directed by Claudio Giorgi, who worked as an actor in fotoromanzi or photo comic books. It was written by Luis Maria Delgado and Jesus Rodriguez Folga and it’s in the genre of both Italian Gothic and commedia sexy all’italiana.

Camillo (Vincenzo Crocitti) and Adelaide (Lilli Carati) are on their honeymoon in Scotland. They can’t find a place to stay and get lost in the fog, finally finding the ancient castle of the Baron of Black Castle (Renzo Montagnani) and his servant Angus (Guerrino Crivello). Despite being a ghost, the Baron still wants to make love to Adelaide and I mean, have you seen Lilli Carati? Can you blame him? How did Camillo keep from sleeping with her during their five-year engagement?

Carati started her career as the runner-up for the 1975 Miss Italy contest. She started work as a fashion model before starting her career with La professoressa di scienze naturali. Her work was mainly in “school” movies where she was a young teacher or a student who was often nude. She also starred with Tomas Milan in Squadra antifurto and had her biggest success in the film Avere vent’anni (To Be Twenty). She was in four Joe D’Amato movies —  La Alcova, Christina, The Pleasure and A Lustful Mind — before acting in adult films in the late 80s. At that point, she was addicted to cocaine and heroin. She retired from public life in 1990 but returned to acting to play an occultist in Violent Shit: The Movie, which was dedicated to her as she died before it was released.

Spirits of the Dead (1968)

Directed by Roger Vadim, Louis Malle and Federico Fellini, this has a different title in Italy, Tre passi nel delirio (Three Steps to Delirium). It’s an anthology that has each director show his own version of an Edgar Allan Poe story.

Vadim starts the film with “Metzengerstein” which is unique in that it’s the only on-screen pairing of Jane and Peter Fonda, who play cousins who have never met due to a family feud. She played Countess Frédérique de Metzengerstein, who has inherited the family castle and leads a life of debauchery. He is Baron Wilhelm, the man who just saved her from a trap in the woods. She falls for him but he wants nothing to do with her life of sin, so she sets his stables on fire, killing him and most of his prized horses, save for a black one that she becomes obsessed with taming. Eventually, the horse carries her into an inferno made by a bolt of lightning.

“William Wilson,” directed by Malle, has Alain Delon as the titular protagonist, a man who has dealt with a twin version of himself his entire life. After he plays cards all night with Guiseppina Ditterheim (Brigitte Bardot), the evil twin convinces people that he cheats. He finally challenges his other self to a duel with a deadly outcome for them both.

In “Toby Dammit,” directed by Fellini, Terrence Stamp plays the actor named Toby Dammit. His career is in ruin and, ironically, he comes to Italy to make a movie — Trente Dollari, an Italian Western — where he will be paid with a Ferrari. He keeps seeing a young girl with a white ball played by Marina Yaru who he becomes convinced is the devil. After he finishes the movie, he gets drunk and speeds his new car around the city until it becomes filled with replacement people and he races into a void, his head chopped off by a wire across the road, and now the girl holds his head. The Ferrari in this story is a reference to the car Clint Eastwood was given for appearing in The Witches.

if this seems to take a lot from Mario Bava’s Kill, Baby, Kill!, Fellini meant it as a tribute. In an interview, Bava said, “That ghost child with the bouncing ball… it’s the same ideas as in my film, exactly the same! I later mentioned this to Giulietta Masina (Fellini’s wife) and she just shrugged her shoulders, smiling and said, “Well, you know how Federico is…””

The difference is that Fellini would be celebrated as a great artist his entire life. And as for Bava, sadly not as much.

There’s a modern reference or coincidence in this story: When Toby Dammit arrives at the Rome airport, a Catholic priest introduces him to the Fratelli Manetti, two brothers who work in film. That’s the artistic name — the Manetti Brothers — of Marco Manetti and Antonio Manetti, who made the recent Diabolik movies.

This movie almost had Luchino Visconti, Claude Chabrol, Joseph Losey and Orson Welles as directors, with Welles and Oja Kodar writing a story that combined “Masque of the Red Death” and “The Cask of Amontillado.”

While Vadim was filming “Metzengerstein,” his friend Terry Southern — who had come to Europe to help him make Barbarella — started talking to Peter Fonda and ended up writing Easy Rider with him on set.

Tales from the Crypt S2 E5: Three’s a Crowd (1990)

Directed by David Burton Morris, who wrote the story with Steven Dodd and Kim Steven Ketelsen, “Three’s a Crowd” is based on the story of the same title from Shock SuspenStories #11, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Jack Kamen.

“Hello, party animals. Are you ready to bop till you drop? Dead, that is. Tonight, I’ve chosen a fiendish little tale from my hold of moldy oldies. We’ve been invited to an anniversary celebration of holy deadlock. You know, to love and to perish; for richer, for horror; in sickness and in stealth; till death do us part. This is one anniversary the husband will never forget.”

Richard (Gavan O’Herlihy, Death Wish 3) and Della (Ruth de Sosa) get invited to a cabin — the same one from The Great Outdoors — owned by their best man (Paul Lieber), but he’s sure that his wife is having an affair. They’re keeping a big secret from him. Want to know what it is? It’s his birthday. She also has another thing she’s not telling her husband. She’s pregnant with his baby.

Too bad he killed both of them.

Sometimes, this show can get pretty dark. At least the Crypt Keeper gets to wear a party hat.

La bimba di Satana (1982)

Director Mario Bianchi made some interesting movies. Kill the Poker Player AKA Creeping Death combines the Italian West with giallo. He was the director of the “Lucio Fulci Presents” films Sodoma’s Ghost and The Murder SecretNightmare in Venice, which adapts Arthur Schnitzler’s Traumnovelle before Eyes Wide Shut. He wrote Tragic Ceremony. And he finished his career doing adult under the names Nicholas Moore, David Bird, Tony Yanker and Martin White, making movies like Sexy Killer, a remake of La Femme Nikita and The Castle of Lucretia.

Producer Gabriele Crisanti and screenwriter Piero Regnoli wanted to remake Malabimba The Malicious Whore and even brought back Mariangela Giordano, who had stopped working with Cristiani and dating him after that movie, saying that she felt “used, abused and exploited.” That should tell you how far the movie went, as she had worked with the producer on movies like Giallo In Venice and Patrick Still Lives, two of the most reprehensible late 70s Italian exploitation films, not to mention her stunning scene in Burial Ground where she allows her zombie son to feed on her bare breast.

Where the original film was very sleazy, it did not go all the way into hardcore. This one goes all the way and had softcore (La Bimba di Satana) and hardcore (Orgasmo di Satana) versions.

In a remote Spanish castle, the Aguilar family is mourning the passing of Countess Maria (Marina Hedmann, who appeared in Emanuelle in America and Images in a Convent as well as adult films) whose body lies in state. The family doctor (Giancarlo Del Duca) claims that her death was from a heart attack, yet everyone thinks her husband Antonio (Aldo Sanbrell) murdered her.

Everyone has been seduced by Maria, from the doctor to Antonio’s wheelchair-bound brother Ignazio (Alfonso Gaita) to the nun, Sol (Giordan) who cares for the ill uncle. The family butler Isidro (Joe Danvers) brings her spirit back into Maria’s teenage daughter Mira (Jaqueline Dupré) and helps her get revenge.

Sanbrell had issues working with adult stars. In Roberto Curti’s Italian Gothic Horror Films 1980-1989, he has a quote that says, “We had to shoot a love scene, Marina and I… Well, I was lying on the bed, waiting for her, and when she showed up we started making out; after a while I realized that she was doing it for real and I had to stop her.” Sambrell contacted Crisanti to say that he could not work under these conditions and he was replaced in the lovemaking scenes by Gaita, who also worked in pornography.

Not to be outdone with just being outright filth, the poster also rips off Boris Vellejo’s “The Vampire’s Kiss.”

Malabimba (1979)

Andrea Bianchi, you lunatic. You made Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror and for some directors, that would be enough. But you also made Cry of a Prostitute and Strip Nude for Your Killer, so I know that you aren’t kidding. You really have your heart in the wrong place. And I love you for it.

A seance has been held to contact the spirit of a murdered woman but instead, it calls forth the spirit of Lucrezia who possesses the quiet and restrained Bimba (Katell Laennec), who is the daughter of master of the house Andrea (Enzo Fisichella) and the woman who has just been killed. The spirit within her wills the young girl to sexual mania and exposes the many affairs within her family. And oh yeah, going down on her invalid uncle Adolfo (Giuseppe Marrocu) and throwing furniture around like she’s Regan.

They hope that Sister Sofia (Mariangela Giordano, who Bianchi would abuse in Burial Ground; she was dating producer Gabriele Crisanti and also appeared in his movies Giallo In Venice and Patrick Still Lives, later saying, “I shouldn’t have done them. But I was in love with Gabriele, I would have done anything for him.”)  can tame the flames of passion that are inside Bimba. The opposite comes true, as women become lovers and decimate the entire house.

Malabimba was remade as the even more sexually themed — is that possible? — La bimba di Satana.

You can get this from Vinegar Syndrome’s dirty older brother Mélusine.

My Friend, Dr. Jekyll (1960)

Marino Girolami is also the Frank Martin who directed Zombie Holocaust and the Franco Martinelli who directed Special Cop in Action and Violent Rome. He’s also the Dario Silvestri who made God Was in the West, Too, at One Time.

In this film, Professor Fabius (Raimondo Vianello) has learned how to possess other people. He takes over a teacher at a lady’s reform school by the name of Giacinto Floria (Ugo Tognazzi) and becomes a sex maniac, ruining that man’s nice relationship with his girlfriend Mafalda (Abbe Lane, the former wife of Xavier Cugat).  Nobody really has sex but just the idea of it in 1960 seemed to be enough.

Basically, this movie is Werewolf In a Girl’s Dormitory as a comedy. Look for Hélène Chanel (The Witch’s Curse) and Linda Sini (Seven Blood Stained Orchids) in the cast.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA 15th Anniversary SteelBook Collection 4K Ultra HD: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Bill Condon — the guy who made Chicago and started his career with Strange Invaders — was the new director for the last two movies in The Twilight Saga.

Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) are getting married. Jacob (Taylor Lautner, the inspiration for Taylor Swift’s “Back to December” and I have lost all of my Eurohorror sleazy movie cool points now) comes back but becomes angry when he learns that they plan to consummate their relationship while Bella is still human. This could kill her. Vampire bang it out hard (I have that sleaze back now, thanks).

Well, they raw dog it — actually, wouldn’t it be raw dogging if she was with Jacob? — and the vampiric sperm is so strong that it made her pregnant in just two weeks. Both Edward and Jacob want her to get an abortion but she’s going to have this baby if it kills her. The arguments over this vampire fetus get so bad that even the wolves break up with Sam (Chaske Spencer) and Jacob starting their own packs. Edward hates his unborn baby until he learns that it can read his mind.

Baby Renesmee is born and she kills Bella in the delivery. Jacob attempts to kill the baby but then they look in each other’s eyes and eyes, he imprints on her. This keeps the Lycans from killing her as their most absolute law is not to harm anyone who has been imprinted on. Bella heals and becomes a vampire. But what of our friends the Volturi? Well, they’re about to go to war with the Carlisles.

Everything in the other Twilight movies only served to prep me for this. All the baseball games, all the teen romance games, it all led up to a vampire baby falling in love with a werewolf.

As part of THE TWILIGHT SAGA 15th Anniversary SteelBook® Collection 4K, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 has extras like a commentary track by Bill Condon, another part of the series-length documentary, extended scenes, Bella and Edward’s personal wedding video and music video’s for Bruno Mars’ “It Will Rain,” Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years,” Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” and The Belle Brigade’s “I Didn’t Mean It.” Get this set exclusively from Best Buy.

Un gioco per Eveline (1971)

A Game For Eveline has Nathalie (Erna Schurer, Scream of the Demon Lover) and Pierre (Wolfgang Hillinger) arguing over having children when they nearly drive off a cliff. They find their way to the home of Phillipe (Marco Guglielmi) and Minou Giraud (Adriana Bogdan), another couple who are mourning the loss of their daughter Eveline. That night, in bed, Pierre hears the cry of a child and during other times, a doll seems to be moving around from room to room. Phillipe is the only one who can see her and he claims that she’s a ghost while Eveline claims that her daughter is alive and being hidden from her. In the midst of all this weirdness, the hosts seemingly want to keep them there as long as possible and keep trying to sleep with both of their guests.

You might find this boring but I loved the mood. And who can turn away Rita Calderoni when she shows up in a film, this time hiding up a platinum blonde wig, bestill my Italian Gothic loving barely beating right heart. She also looks just like the housekeeper who supposedly died with Eveline. And why is Phillipe kissing her?

The fact that Eveline is playing with a ball is no accident, particualrly after Mario Bava’s Kill, Baby, Kill! and Fellini’s ripoff act in his segment in Spirits of the Dead. Bava himself said, “That ghost child with the bouncing ball… it’s the same ideas as in my film, exactly the same! I later mentioned this to Giulietta Masina (Fellini’s wife) and she just shrugged her shoulders, smiling and said, “Well, you know how Federico is…””

Director Marcello Avallone was also the assistant director of The Horrible Dr. Hichcock and its believed that he directed most of the sexualized foreign scenes. He would go on to make Maya and Specters.

You can watch this on YouTube.