Bill Condon — the guy who made Chicago and started his career with Strange Invaders — was the new director for the last two movies in The Twilight Saga.

Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) are getting married. Jacob (Taylor Lautner, the inspiration for Taylor Swift’s “Back to December” and I have lost all of my Eurohorror sleazy movie cool points now) comes back but becomes angry when he learns that they plan to consummate their relationship while Bella is still human. This could kill her. Vampire bang it out hard (I have that sleaze back now, thanks).

Well, they raw dog it — actually, wouldn’t it be raw dogging if she was with Jacob? — and the vampiric sperm is so strong that it made her pregnant in just two weeks. Both Edward and Jacob want her to get an abortion but she’s going to have this baby if it kills her. The arguments over this vampire fetus get so bad that even the wolves break up with Sam (Chaske Spencer) and Jacob starting their own packs. Edward hates his unborn baby until he learns that it can read his mind.

Baby Renesmee is born and she kills Bella in the delivery. Jacob attempts to kill the baby but then they look in each other’s eyes and eyes, he imprints on her. This keeps the Lycans from killing her as their most absolute law is not to harm anyone who has been imprinted on. Bella heals and becomes a vampire. But what of our friends the Volturi? Well, they’re about to go to war with the Carlisles.

Everything in the other Twilight movies only served to prep me for this. All the baseball games, all the teen romance games, it all led up to a vampire baby falling in love with a werewolf.

As part of THE TWILIGHT SAGA 15th Anniversary SteelBook® Collection 4K, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 has extras like a commentary track by Bill Condon, another part of the series-length documentary, extended scenes, Bella and Edward’s personal wedding video and music video’s for Bruno Mars’ “It Will Rain,” Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years,” Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” and The Belle Brigade’s “I Didn’t Mean It.” Get this set exclusively from Best Buy.