Junesploitation 2022: Fungicide (2002)

June 9: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is monsters! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

David Wascavage is probably best known for Suburban Sasquatch, but before that movie, he made this berserk film that is all about a scientist named Silas Purcell (David Weldon) whose parents (played by Loretta and Edward Wascavage, the director’s mom and dad) send him to a bed and breakfast to try and calm down. He brings his work — trust me, I get it — and ends up transforming the woods around the home of Jade Moon (Mary Wascavage, who also wrote the movie with David) into a killing field populated by mushrooms who live on human meat.

Also staying at the B&B are overly stressed and roided out pro wrestler Tony Ignitus (the much beloved Dave Bonavita) and a smarmy real estate agent named Jackson P. Jackson (Dave Wascavage, getting into his own movie), as well as a survivalist named Major Wang (Wes Miller).

By the end of the movie, hundreds of mushrooms of all shapes and sizes have taken over and the only weapon that destroys them is balsamic vinegar, a fact that made me laugh so loudly and for so long that I lost consciousness.

There’s also a moment where a humanoid mushroom vomits a human skeleton, which is everything that I want movies to be. I also absolutely love that every time someone encounters one of these mushrooms for the first time, they think they’re cute and try to pet them, which always goes bad.

More movies should be less concerned about video fidelity and more about having fun. This film proves it.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Unborn (2022)

There aren’t many life events more frightening or emotional than being pregnant. That’s why horror movies have uniquely been able to translate those fears, from Rosemary’s BabyThe Brood and Demon Seed to I Don’t Want to Be BornIt’s AliveInside and Beyond the Door.

Now, Tubi exclusive Unborn tells the story of Rachel and Amber, whose wedding was marred by the death of Rachel’s mother. When the dead mother’s face shows up on the ultrasound, I think we all know which way this is going.

Don’t eat any tannis root!

You know when a pregnancy is really rough to deal with? When the obstetrician (Stephan Smith Collins, once Pinhead) stabs himself in the throat and bleeds all over you while yelling warnings about Lilith. I mean, that’s worse than people looking at you strange just because you have a glow.

Director Steven R. Monroe (Teardrop, the remake of I Spit on Your Grave and the sequel) and writer Joe Rechtman realize that they’re making a quick moving thriller that you shouldn’t think too much about. Instead, you should just grab a beer or ten and watch this movie about a cult trying to grow something in someone unsure whether she should allow the baby to be born or stop it before it can destroy our world.

Or you know, you could really into this and wonder, in our hellscape where even Roe vs. Wade can get overturned and women no longer can control their bodies, will organized religion lead to demons taking hold of more wombs?

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Hellblazers (2022)

Vietnam vet Bill Unger (Bruce Dern) is just trying to visit his wife’s grave when he hears Joshua (Billy Zane) and his followers conjure a demon, a fact that no one seems to believe. They better — the coven plans on feeding that demon every single person in town.

The real reason many genre fans will want to watch this Tubi original is the cast:  Courtney Gains (Malachai!), Meg Foster (Evil Lyn!), John Kassir (the Crypt Keeper!), Tony Todd (do I even have to tell you?) and Adrienne Barbeau as a DJ not named Stevie Wayne, the nightlight at KAB.

It’s also a The ‘Burbs reunion and doesn’t miss the opportunity to throw in a line between Dern and Gains.

Director and writer Justin Lee (Apache JunctionBig Legend) has excelled at making movies with monsters in them. This one has a great demon — you barely see it but when you do, it’s quite incredible — and a cult determined to destroy a town that is in no way ready to go down without a fight.

Sure, VFW and The Void did this before and better, but if Tubi is now our video store, this is certainly not a bad film to grab before the store closes and you promised everyone you’d get a horror movie.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Rondo and Bob (2020)

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, The Howling, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Tourist TrapDon’t Go Near the Park. Beyond the villains and stars of these films, they’re memorable for the scenes they take place in, the look of menace within each. That’s all due to Robert A. Burns, the man who taxidermied an armadillo and built the bone furniture with the Sawyer home, that made Mr. Slausen’s home so frighteningly strange, that created the adult shop that Dee Wallace finds a werewolf in and even plays a customer that runs past her.

Beyond the films and art pieces that Burns created, he was obsessed with Rondo Hatton, a man who turned his acromegaly into three films for Universal before dying way too young. The disease caused Rondo’s face, hands and feet to grow monstrously larger than the rest of his body, which caused him to hide from the world until his second wife Mae gave him the support that he needed.

The image of The Creeper, Hatton’s horror film character, would become a symbol of Burns’ lifelong belief in his inner ugliness. It’s this idea that director and writer Joe O’Connell (Danger God) explores in this combination documentary and narrative film on two lives.

With appearances by Fred Olen Ray, Daniel Pearl, Edwin Neal, Joe Bob Briggs, Stuart Gordon, Dee Wallace and more, the film also steps away from being a straight documentary to dramatize the life of Hatton (Joseph Middleton) and Mae (Kelsey Pribilski). She later meets Burns (Ryan Williams), who we see meet Tobe Hooper, become friends with Gunnar Hansen and be on the front lines of the day Charles Whitman opened fire on the University of Texas.

This is a messy movie that doesn’t always perfectly work, but that’s actually to its benefit. It’s like drinking at a party and someone trying to explain just how amazing their friend was, why you would have loved them and all the wild, strange, dumb and sad things that their friend did. And now their friend is gone and you can only experience them through the art and tall tales that they left behind.

And yes, the Deep Throat pinball machine shows up.

Rondo and Bob is available on digital platforms from Electric Entertainment. You can learn more at the official site.

Ten Tubi picks (week 6)

It’s week 6 of our Tubi picks. Need something to watch? This week, like every week, here are ten movies to check out. Want to share your picks? Let me know in the comments?

1. Hardbodies: TUBI LINK

Thanks to Tubi, you can turn this on at 11:55 pm on Friday and pretend that it’s Cinemax and you’re getting away with something. Are you ready for the BBD (Bigger and Better Deal) to change your life?

2. Strip Nude for Your Killer: TUBI LINK

Is this the scummiest week of Tubi picks ever? Look, I’m driving this sleaze bus and you’re locked inside, so sit down and stay on this side of the white line. When a movie starts with a fashion model’s illegal abortion being covered up as a drowning and ends with the heroine being offered tradesman’s entrance love from the hero — not that great of one — of the movie, you know that it was directed and written by Andrea Bianchi, someone who made other giallo directors say, “Mi fa cagare!”

3. Angel: TUBI LINK

Student by day. Streetwalker by night. You’ll never want to run away from home again, because the Sunset Strip that Angel steps out on is covered in blood. Actually, you totally will want to run away from home after seeing this and hang out with fun weird people and dress fabulously.

4. The Tough Ones: TUBI LINK

Rome is about to explode and a hunchbacked lunatic is the one setting fire to the fuse. Umberto Lenzi didn’t make anything halfway and this movie is a great example of him at the very height of his violent powers.

5. Picasso Trigger: TUBI

None of the good guys can shoot a gun to save their lives, there’s a cane that shoots both shotgun and mortar rounds, exploding boomerangs and RC cars, as well as more showers than anyone has ever taken in 99 minutes. Killing is an art form and Andy Sidaris perfected it.

6. Enter the Devil (The Eerie Midnight Horror Show): TUBI

Someone — Satan? — challenged director Mario Gariazzo to make a movie that was the absolute most filth-ridden possession movie ever and he overachieved. Mothers get beat with rose bushes while their daughters sneak watch them, the devil promises youth if the heroine seduces a priest and a statue literally gets down off its crucifix to make unholy whoopee with said lead. It’s the movie that Becca said — more than once — “Why are you watching this absolute piece of shit?” to me and saw the absolute smile on my face. Black tar Italian movie drugs.

7. The Nightmare Never Ends: TUBI LINK

You’d think one of the full movies from Night Train to Terror would make more sense when it isn’t edited down into a shorter version, right? Wrong. This is pure bullshit madness. Richard Moll gets the Nobel Prize for saying God is dead. Cameron Mitchell is a cop. Marc Lawrence is a concentration camp survivor. The officer who ruined his life is a demon who never dies. A disgraced priest battles a succubus. And then there’s disco. 666 out of 5 stars, can have and will watch it again.

8. Venus In Furs: TUBI LINK

Jess Franco is the most dangerous of movie drugs, making endlessly similar movies that when viewed in the right mind state achieve near murderdrone levels of nothingness balanced with zooms into anatomy that challenge your sanity while blaring synth seems to drift in the ether like a Spanish fog. Jazz cigarettes. Venus in furs is rising, baby.

9. Master of the Flying Guillotine: TUBI LINK

The One-Armed Boxer thought it was over. No, when he killed the students of Fung Sheng Wu Chui, the master of the weapon right there in the title. Bloody violence ensures, scored by totally stolen tracks by Tangerine Dream, Neu! and Kraftwerk. Never watched a martial arts movie before? This one will get you started.

10. Don’t Torture a Duckling: TUBI LINK

As much as I celebrate the gore of Lucio Fulci, I find it a sadness that he is not more well-known and considered for his movies made before the 1980s. This pre-Argento giallo is in my top five films of the genre, a scandalous blast against religion, small minds and herd mentality set far from the modern streets of Rome. Barbara Bouchet makes a claim to be the giallo queen here. You won’t even care about the very obvious wooden dummy that makes an appearance.

To see our past Tubi picks, check out our Letterboxd list.

Mill Creek Through the Decades: 1990s Collection: One True Thing (1998)

Ellen Gulden (Renée Zellweger) is a career woman writing for a magazine who can’t understand her mother (Meryl Streep) while looking up toher father, George (William Hurt), a fellow writer and literature professor. Yet when her mother gets sick with cancer, she must come home and learn to love her.

This will force her to evaluate how she sees her father, as she discovers several long buried secrets from her mother. It also means giving up her life, a fact that she resents.

The film was directed by Carl Franklin and written by Karen Croner, whose script was based on One True Thing by Anna Quindlen, a book based on her real life experiences.

I usually avoid dramas like this, but I can recognize when a movie is well made.

Mill Creek’s Through the Decades: 1990s Collection has some great movies for a great price like HousesitterWhite PalaceDonnie BrascoThe Devil’s OwnThe MatchmakerAnacondaI Know What You Did Last SummerThe Freshman and The Deep End of the Ocean. You can get it from Deep Discount.

Dark Tower (1987)

You’d think that Michael Moriarty would have had enough of window washers falling off of high rises, but he’s back — well, he’s playing a security expert instead of a thief, this time Dennis Randall — and he’s trying to figure out why people keep dying inside a possessed high rise.

The mystery that I will solve for you is that director Ken Barnett is really two people.

Original director Ken Wiederhorn (Shock Waves) was replaced by Freddie Francis. Yes, the Amicus director, making his last movie.

He wasn’t the only replacement. Moriarty replaced Roger Daltrey and Jenny Agutter (An American Werewolf In London) replaced Lucy Guttridge.

Released in the U.S. as The Curse V and as Demons 7: The Inferno in Japan, this movie starts with some great deaths — and Agutter in some of the most ridiculously unrevealing lingerie ever seen in a movie — and becomes a haunted high rise movie that can’t compete with Demons 2 or Poltergeist 3.

It does have Kevin McCarthy playing a psychic trying to investigate what’s happening as well as a finale that has Agutter’s hair and wardrobe looking different in nearly every scene.

This was a Sandy Howard production, just like Blue Monkey, so it definitely was on the shelf of your video store.

Lycan Colony (2006)

Director and writer Rob Roy has had a strong connection to wolves his entire life. It started after he first saw Balto, which inspired him to create his own wolf film. The film you’re about to reach about. The film during which he attempted to contact Balto star Kevin Bacon for a cameo before being somewhat ironically chased off the actor’s property by dogs.

He told the Nashua Telegraph, “Let me say first of all that I am an animal lover. No werewolves were hurt during the making of Lycan ColonyI’ve always loved werewolf movies, but I’m tired of seeing the same storyline over and over again. The werewolf is always a sick tormented beast. He’s always the bad guy. In Lycan Colony, we filled a whole town with them. Some are good, some are bad. None of them are these simple monsters that show up for five minutes at the end of the movie. They’re the life and blood of a modern town, and much closer to us than we’re used to seeing in these movies.”

Roy is self-taught and learned every aspect of filmmaking – from make-up effects to building his own camera dollies, animatronic heads and blood sprayers as well as building his own blue-screen shooting area in his garage – while making this movie. 

Dr. Daniel Solomon (Bill Sykes), a disgraced alcoholic surgeon, and his family move to a small town in the wake of one of his surgeries under the influence costing a patient their life. He has an AA sponsor so bad that he takes him to a bar afterward, a bar where he meets a brother and sister who are ex-military and looking for their adventurer father. Seconds after they explain the inscription on their father’s watch, the bartender ends up dropping it on their table, which is like Chekov’s gun going off before you even see it. This leads to a werewolf attack within the bar, the military brother getting killed and Daniel falling through what can only be a warp zone to escape.

Meanwhile, Daniel’s son Stewart (Ryan O Roy) has fallen for Sarah (Libby Collins), who comes ot his room late at night and brings him to a graveyard where she bites his chest and makes him one of the cursed under the full moon.

Who can save the day? Maybe it’s Athena, the witch played by Kristi Lynn, who loaned all of her exotic animals to this movie which still doesn’t explain why a spider monkey randomly shows up at the end. She licks everything with sight and then explains the history of werewolves in animation that I am not even remotely sure can be referred to as animation. Speaking of animation, the military guy has a neck tattoo that was added in post and it flickers. It’s the most disconcerting take-you-out-of-the-movie thing I’ve ever seen and yes, it is awesome.

Made in Hudson, Bedford, Goffstown, Merrimack and Manchester, New Hampshire — which is why this had the tagline “Welcome to New Hampshire…Live free or die!” — you’ll perhaps struggle with some of the accents. These towns are the homes of stars like Seth Meyers, Sarah Silverman, Jane Balder from V, Grace Metalious who wrote Peyton Place and Adam Sandler. Perhaps most relevant to this film are the facts that GG Allin was born there as well as The Howling star Christopher Stone.

Keeping it local, the movie premiere at Chunky’s Cinema Pub in Pelham on Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005 with a concert/film screening/Halloween costume contest extravaganza. At Chunky’s you can order a Caesar Romero Salad, Wizard of Ozzarella Sticks, Reservoir Dogs (yes hot dogs), the Parmageddon Chicken Sandwich, a Kevin Bacon Burger, a Carrie Cosmo, the Catalina Wine Mixer Sangria, Jurassic Pork Tacos, Rum Forrest Rum or a Jabba the Hot Fudge Sundae.

If you ask Rob Roy, he says that this movie is about “The sensual underbelly of animalistic human beings and what happens when we surrender to that.” He’s expanded the universe of the film in Rage of the Theriomorphs, a book in which Dr. Dan, Dave, Russ, Stew, and Sarah are back and getting accustomed to their new lives and new rules. A new mysterious death has caused an uproar and a new threat to the entire town has arrived. This needs to be a movie, right?

Lycan Colony is the kind of movie that shuts off my brain and lets someone else drive. I never really recovered.

All About Evil (2010)

Following its world premiere at the San Francisco International Film Festival and a limited theatrical run in 2010, Peaches Christ’s All About Evil disappeared. Now, it’s back and coming out on blu ray from Severin during their mid-year sale and then will start streaming on Shudder June 13.

After a scene that echoes Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? yet also has a small child urinating all over a microphone and electrocuting herself — set the tone! — we meet Deborah Tennis (Natasha Lyonne) — pronounced Deb-or-ah — who takes over her late father’s cinema and attempts to keep his dream alive. After disposing of her wicked stepmother (Julie Caitlin Brown), Deborah transcends her quiet librarian origins and discovers that she has a gift for cinema. Snuff cinema, that is.

With the assistance of her projectionist Mr. Twigs (Jack Donner, The Night God Screamed), identical and insane twins Veda and Vera (Jade and Nikita Ramsey) and Adrian (Noah Segan), she takes the Alamo Drafthouse pre-movie PSAs to the next level and creates short films during which she murders those who either annoy her or get in her way, making it look like Herschell Gordon Lewis gorenography. After all, the security camera footage of her first murder goes perfectly with Blood Feast.

As Deborah and the theater grow in popularity, the murders increase in frequency and intensity, including sewing a librarian’s (Mink Stole!) mouth shut. The theater also begins to fascinate a high school movie nerd named Steven (Thomas Dekker, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) while upsetting his mother (Cassandra Peterson!).

If a warped director making a torture movie called A Tale of Two Titties — starring a guillotine — makes you laugh, if a marquee displaying Blood Orgy of the She-Devils makes you feel the vapors, if you like to see good people meet bad ends from worse people, All About Evil was made just for you.

This goes on sale this Friday from Severin. It comes with an exclusive slipcase, audio commentary with writer/director Joshua Grannell (Peaches Christ) and actors Thomas Dekker, Ashley Fink, Jade Ramsey and Nikita Ramsey, a making of feature, a roundtable discussion, Evil Live: The Peaches Christ Experience In 4D World Premiere At The Castro Theatre in May 2010, Grindhouse short film, a second behind the scenes featurette, a trailer, teaser, bonus soundtrack CD and a bonus booklet The Tour De Fierce Diaries: On The Road With All About Evil by Michael Varrati.

Peaches Christ herself will present the film at “Peaches Christ 4-D Screenings” along the West Coast, including the Los Feliz 3 in Los Angeles on June 9 and the Victoria Theater in San Francisco on June 11 where the film was shot. Fans in Los Angeles can also attend a blu ray signing event at Dark Delicacies on June 12 with Peaches Christ and members of the cast.

Junesploitation 2022: Cannonball Run II (1984)

June 8: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is cars! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

This movie is the end of an era in so many ways. It’s the last time the Rat Pack — Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Shirley MacLaine — would appear in a movie together as well as the last movie for Martin, Sinatra and Jin Nabors. It’s also the last car comedy from Burt Reynolds, who made his superstar status with movies like this.

Director and writer Hal Needham wouldn’t give up so easily. After making Rad and Body Slam, he’d make four more Bandit TV movies with Brian Bloom taking over from Burt.

After the events of Cannonball Run, Sheik Abdul ben Falafel (Jamie Farr) has angered his father King Abdul ben Falafel (Ricardo Montalbán) and brought shame to the name Falafel. King Abdul demands that he win the next Cannonball; when told there won’t be one, he orders his son to buy one.

Bringing back nearly everyone from the original movie — no, not Cannonball or The Gumball Rally — the race is on, even if Don Don Canneloni (Charles Nelson Reilly) wants to kidnap the sheik after learning that he paid for the debts of Jamie Blake and Morris Fenderbaum (Martin and Davis), as well as the debts of the man hunting them down, Hymie Kaplan (Telly Savalas).

In addition to Falafel, who has hired away Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing (Jack Elam) and brought his servant (Doug McClure), the racers this time are:

JJ McClure and Victor Prinzi (Reynolds and Dom DeLuise, who also plays Don Cannelloni and Victor’s other side Captain Chaos), who are dressed as soldiers and driving a Chrysler Imperial limousine. They pick up two fake nuns played by Betty and Veronica (Marilu Henner and MacLaine) as well as soldier Private Homer Lyle (Neighbors, pretty much playing Gomer Pyle).

Mitsubishi engineer Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan, once again playing Japanese) being driven by the gigantic Arnold (Richard Kiel) in a Mitsubishi Starion that can drive underwater.

Jill Rivers and Marcie Thatcher are back driving a Lamborghini, but Susan Anton and Catherine Bach take over for Adrienne Barbeau and Tara Buckman, who was too busy getting her throat slit by Santa Claus in Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Mel and Tony (Mel Tillis and Tony Danza) who are driving a limousine with an orangutang.

Don Don’s enforcers, Sonny (Michael V. Gazzo), Tony (Alex Rocco), Slim (Henry Silva) and Caesar (Caesar) also join in, as does Shawn Weatherly who falls for Jamie. Plus there are cameos by Foster Brooks, Sid Caesar and Louis Nye as fishermen, Tim Conway and Don Knotts  as policemen, Molly Picon as Seymour Goldfarb’s mother (without Roger Moore who regretted his decision to turn down a role in this movie after finding out Sinatra was appearing, saying in his book My Word Is My Bond, “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but too few to mention.”), Joe Theismann as a trucker, Arte Johnson as a German air ace from WWII, George Lindsay (Goober Pyle from the aforementioned Gomer Pyle USMC TV show), American restauranteur Jilly Rizzo (whose name Sinatra would substitute when he sang “Mrs. Robinson” so he didn’t misuse the Lord’s Son’s name), Western character actor Dub Taylor, monster truck Bigfoot* and, yes, Sinatra himself as himself.

Roger Ebert said that this movie was “one of the laziest insults to the intelligence of moviegoers that I can remember. Sheer arrogance made this picture” and Gene Siskel countered by saying that it was “a total ripoff, a deceptive film – that gives movies a bad name” and the worst movie he and Ebert had ever reviewed on At the Movies.

There’s a third movie in the series that few no about, Speed Zone, which only has Jamie Farr returning but boasts a pretty fun cast, John Candy romancing Donna Dixon and John Schneider playing a Duke.

*Bigfoot also appears in Take This Job and Shove It, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Road House, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Tango & Cash, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and Ready: Player One.