George Armitage wrote Gas-s-s-s, Private Duty Nurses, Night Call Nurses and Vigilante Force before scoring mainstream success with Miami Blues and Grosse Point Blank. He told Film Comment, “I wrote Darktown Strutters in three days, and the script form is all one sentence, the entire script is one sentence.”
While he had wanted to direct this, William Witney ended up making it. Witney was a Hollywood vet, starting all the way back at Republic where he worked n movie serials. He worked a lot with Roy Rogers and at the end of his career, made a few movies with Gene Corman, including I Escaped from Devil’s Island and this movie.
This is less a narrative film and more a collection of hijinks as a gang of black bikers interacts with the police, all until Syreena starts to search for her missing mother, Cinderella. Turns out an evil barbecue chain — with an owner in full Klan regalia — has her.
Trina Parks from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and Diamonds Are Forever is Syreena, backed up by a cast featuring former Ikette Edna Richardson, Roger E. Mosley (TC from Magnum, P.I.), Stan Shaw (Detective Sapir from The Monster Squad), Alvin Childress (Amos of the Amos ‘n Andy TV show), Zara Cully (Mother Jefferson!) and, this being a Corman family film, Dick Miller.
Get ready for a fairy tale mixed with blaxploitation, basically, with plenty of great tunes from The Dramatics as well as John Gary Williams and The Newcomers.
And remember: “Any similarity between this true life adventure and the story Cinderella … is bullshit.”
“Hey, just wait a minute there, you smug and pretentious, know-it-all pseudo-film critic . . . what’s this disaster-suspense drama doing in the middle of a “Rock ‘n’ Roll Week” of reviews? This is just a knockoff of Dirty Harry crossed with Earthquake, and instead of Clint Eastwood’s police inspector, we get an amusement park safety inspector. And while George Segal is pretty cool in the role, he’s no Dirty Harry Callahan.”
“Well, don’t forget that George is teamed with Richard Widmark as FBI Agent Hoyt.”
“Uh, no. Sorry. Still not Dirty Harry Callahan.”
“Well, do the factoids that Rollercoaster not only has a rock ‘n’ roll connection, but a connection to Pittsburgh and Star Trek as well, Mr. Critic of critics?”
“No, not really. But you’re going to ramble about it anyway. I’m going to go take a piss. Later, dude.”
Critics of critics. God, how we love ’em at B&S About Movies. . . .
So, the connection to Star Trek comes courtesy of director James Gladstone, who directed the classic September 1966 episode, “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” you know, third episode of the first season that served as the second series pilot when the first pilot, “The Cage” (starring Jeffrey Hunter as Kirk), failed . . . you know Gladstone’s episode: Gary Lockwood (2001: A Space Odyssey, Earth II) and Sally Kellerman (the original “Hot Lips Hoolihan” in the theatrical version of M.A.S.H) obtained psychic powers after the Enterprise crossed The Great Barrier. And, as we learned, courtesy of B&S’s Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, Sam, in his review of 1974’s Cry Panic, James Gladstone directed that John Forsythe-starring TV movie written by Jack B. Sowards who, in turn, came up with one of the greatest tales of Federation folklore: the Kobayashi Maru, a no-win scenario for new Starfleet captains that was first brought up in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
Gladstone also directed the ’70s duplex favorite, When Time Ran Out (1980), an Irwin Allen-produced disaster-suspense boondoggle about an island volcano. That film reteamed Paul Newman and William Holden from the disaster bonanza The Towering Inferno and Ernest Borgnine and Red Buttons from the water epic The Poseidon Adventure. And Gladstone, along with producer Jennings Lang (Airport ’75, Airport ’77, The Concorde : Airport ’79, as well as Play Misty for Me, Slaugtherhouse Five and The Nude Bomb!!), previously worked together on Swashbuckler (1976), Universal’s forgotten “pirate comedy” flop starring Robert Shaw from Jaws. (Yep, Lang also did the one that started it all: Earthquake.)
The plot of Rollercoaster was described by Gladstone as more of a Hitchcockian cat and mouse story than as the disaster movie it was marketed; Segal concurred: he saw it as a well-structured, Hitchcock-styled action-adventure, combined with Universal’s (“Sensurrond”) technology. And Rollercoaster was, in fact, the fourth film in the studio’s “Sensurrond” oeuvre: the aforementioned Earthquake, the WWII epic Midway (1976), and the theatrical version of Battlestar Galactica (1978).
The film stars Timothy Bottoms (Up From the Depths! Thank you, Charles B. Griffith for that duplex classic!) as a mad bomber blowing up the nation’s rollercoasters to extort a million dollars from a Chicago-based amusement amalgamate. Now, if you’re keeping track, that is pretty much the plot of Dirty Harry — only with the mad bomber replaced with an assassin, and Georgy-boy not slingin’ a .357 and quipin’ one-liners. And if it all sounds like Speed, with Dennis Hooper’s “mad bomber” blowing up a bus-for-bucks (which is just Die Hard on a bus), then it probably is.
“Hey, man. I’m back from my piss. And one hell of a loaf-pinch. You’re still rambling? Did you get to the rock ‘n’ roll part, yet? Time’s a-wastin’. I need to go do my yard work.”
Ugh. Critics of critics, again I say. . . .
Anyway, as for the Pittsburgh connection: Mine and Sam’s beloved Kennywood Park out in West Mifflin in Allegheny County was originally set as the location for the film’s opening “crash” segment. When the park got cold feet at the last minute, producer Jennings Lang reset the scene for “Wonder World” at Kings Dominion outside of Richmond, Virginia. (This extended interview, seen below, with King’s Park Manager, Dennis Speigel, who also starred in the film, tells it all.)
The Rock ‘n’ Roll Part!
So, do you remember during your MTV youth, the quirky “Cool Places” that featured the annoying and least-attractive member (well, opinions vary) of the then hot the Go-Go’s, Jan Wiedlin? Well, you might recall that wasn’t a Jan Wiedlin solo tune: it was the lone U.S. Top 50 radio hit by Sparks, which was featured on their twelfth studio album, In Outer Space (1983), issued by Atlantic Records.
Anyway, Spark’s previous label, Columbia (the band burnt through six deals over the years), decided a great way to promote their new signee was by casting them in movie and feature the planned singles of “Fill ‘Er Up” and “Big Boy“(the official single upload) from their mutual debut, Big Beat (1976; produced by Rupert Holmes . . . yes, the “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” dude). Sadly, the genius of the Columbia promotions department didn’t work: after one more flop album, 1977’s Introducing Sparks, the label dropped the band. And here’s the big scene doing “Big Boy” from the film.
If you look closely at their “big scene,” you’ll notice that album’s ex-Tuff Dart Jeff Salen on guitar (“(Your Love Is Like) Nuclear Waste” and “All For The Love of Rock and Roll“), along with ex-Milk and Cookies (You Tube) bassist and drummer Sal Maida and Hilly Micheals. And since we’re talking MTV: You’ll recall Hilly Michaels had his own MTV video hit, “Calling All Girls,” from his solo debut, Calling All Girls (1980). As with Columbia pushing Sparks via film, Warners also failed to break Micheals to a mass audience by placing tunes from the album in the uber-obscure (flop) Robby Benson (The Death of Richie) rock flick, Die Laughing (“Shake It and Dance“), and Chevy Chase’s Caddyshack (“Something’s On Your Mind“).
Coco for Sparks!
Okay, so this is where Sam just says, “F it,” and lets me free range across The Point, gushing in gaiety over the quirky, they’ll-never-be-The Cars-no-matter-how-much-the-label-wishes-it-so Sparks. But I say “bollocks” to the industry: I love Sparks!
It all began for the Los Angeles Mael brothers with their ahead-of-its-time new wave precursor, Halfnelson (“half nelson,” get it?). The band featured the likes of Earle Mankey (later of the Pop and 20/20), his brother, Jim (later of the alt-rock chart-topping Concrete Blonde), along with Leslie Bohem and David Kendrick of L.A.’s Bates Motel. With fellow Bates Motel/Sparks’ members Jim Goodwin and Bob Haag, the quartet became the Gleaming Spires. Their new wave hit, championed by Rodney Bingenheimer (The Mayor of Sunset Strip), “Are You Ready for the Sex, Girls,” appeared on the soundtracks to The Last American Virgin and Revenge of the Nerds.
Halfnelson signed with Bearsville (home to Foghat, Todd Rundgren’s Utopia, R.E.M clones the dB’s, and NRBQ), with Rundgren producing. After one belly flop of an album, the label wanted a name change (their moniker was “dumb and confusing” per the label) and reissued the album. Three ignored albums later, Sparks were signed by “fan” Muff Winwood (Steve Winwood of Traffic and Blind Faith’s brother) to Island. So off to England Sparks went, to ride that country’s then hot “glam” wave, where they fit right in with the likes of David Bowie (his long time producer, Tony Visconti, produced them), T.Rex, Mud (Never Too Young to Rock), and Slade (Slade In Flame).
Then, when glam became passe in the U.K. under the rise of punk rock and the Maels didn’t fit in with that Sex Pistols-inspired scene, they returned to the U.S., where hard rock was on the rise in a post-Van Halen world. And Columbia’s brain trust had Sparks make a “big rock move” for two more albums. And that “move” led to Sparks’ appearance in Rollercoaster — a role that the Brothers Mael described in a September 2006 Mojo interview as “the biggest regret” in the career of Sparks.
Regret? I went screaming from the duplex to find used Sparks albums at the local used record store. Hey, at least Columbia converted one person into a “Sparkhead” via the film.
And how is this not on TubiTV, considering it’s been re-released on Blu by Shout Factory (Thank You!!!), who has their own Tubi channel? No online stream, either? Not even on Amazon Prime? What the hell! Well, we found this — as a commenter dubbed it — “Glaucomavision” copy (you’ll get the joke when you open the link) on You Tube, for those of you that have never experienced the wonder of the members of Sparks fleeing the shrapnel of a rollercoaster.
Yeah. I love this movie.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes forB&S About Movies.
This was Bob Shaye’s — and New Line Cinema’s — first full-length production after a decade as a pure distribution company. Director Mark Lester would tell The Pink Smoke, “They were distributing Truck Stop Women to college campuses and they already had a script, so I was hired to direct it. We hired Robert Forster because he had done Medium Cool. Don Stroud was supposed to star in it but he got into a motorcycle accident the night before shooting.”
The film starts with the death of one of Greg Wilson, one of its stuntmen, who was set up. His brother Glen (Forster) arrives on the set, along with B.J. Parswell (Fiona Lewis!), a reporter who wants to write about the danger of the stunt game. The minute Glen gets there he gets hit on by the producer’s wife (Candice Rialson, in one of her last roles; she’s also great in pretty much everything she ever did, like Chatterbox, Hollywood Boulevard and Moonshine County Express).
Glen joins the stunt team of the film, who all promise one another that if anyone gets hurt, they’ll always pull the plug for one another, predating Dr. Kevorkian by several years. Screw the law. We’re stuntmen!
One of the people that have to get the plug pulled on them is Chuck, played by Bruce Glover, always a welcome sight. He’s married to Joanna Cassidy, who is — again, you’re going to get this a lot with this cast — astounding in everything I’ve ever seen her in. In this one, more than aardvarking with Crispin’s dad in a waterbed in the back of a custom van, she’s punching the faces of an entire bar of rednecks.
The death keeps coming, as Paul (Ray Sharkey? This is like a B&S About Movies dream cast and it gets even better) gets trapped in a burning building. That means that our hero has to finish the film, figure out who the killer is and get some revenge.
Former pro wrestler Hard Boiled Haggerty shows up, as does Richard Lynch. And you know how I feel about Mr. Lynch and the fact that he can make any movie better just by walking on set. Suffice to say he does way more than saunter on here.
This is why we’re doing an entire week of Mark Lester’s films. He knows how to get a story told, gather the right people to help tell it and get out of the way. He’s never let me down yet.
If you’ve spent any amount of time at B&S About Movies, you’re sick of our waxing nostalgic for USA Network’s “Night Flight” weekend, four-hour programming block that ran on Friday and Saturday nights . . . it’s what got us through middle school and high school, and even college, from 1981 to 1988. But what more can we say about the visual-arts magazine and variety program that hasn’t already been said? Just drop “USA Night Flight” into Google or You Tube or Letterbox’d and you’ll have a good night’s nostalgic reading n’ watch.
The snack bar will be open in five minutes. . . and we don’t pee in the popcorn (you’ll get the “joke,” soon)!
The great news is that “Night Flight” is back as an online subscription service, Night Flight Plus, and as an entertainment news and information site at Night Flight.com. The greatest aspect of the new online version of “Night Flight” is their programming of a whole new batch of quirky, underground programming — such as I’m Now: The Story of Mudhoney, American Hardcore, and L7: Pretend We’re Dead — in addition to streaming all of the ’80s classics we know and love: such as the films on tonight’s Drive-In roster:Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains, Liquid Sky, The Brain, and Kentucky Fried Movie.
So strap on the popcorn bucket and lite up that cathode ray tube. Let’s rock!
Sam, the chief cook and bottlewasher at B&S About Movies (I just clean the grease pits, scub the grills, and mop up around here the best I can), loves this movie (as do I). And we’re both gobsmacked as to how acclaimed screenwriter Nancy Dowd made her debut with, of all things, the raunchy Paul Newman-starring sports comedy Slap Shot. Then to the Oscar-winning war drama Coming Home and the acclaimed prison flick Straight Time with Dustin Hoffman. Then one of the best football flicks of all time, North Dallas Forty. Then a second Oscar winner with family drama, Ordinary People . . . to end up with a movie that was only seen by a mass audience courtesy of USA’s “Night Flight” overnight-weekend hodgepodge sandwiched between rock videos and film shorts.
How?
Well, it’s because Nancy Dowd met music impresario Lou Adler. And we met her “Rob Morton” nom de plume as result. And her rock-centric statement on female empowerment — that could have ranked alongside Times Sqaure as the greatest female empowerment rock flick of all time — became, as we look back on the film all these years later, as a slightly creepy titillation fest. Could you imagine Tim Curry’s DJ Johnny LaGuardia leering endlessly at Pammy and Nicky with the same camera-lingering “male gaze” as on Corrine, Jessica, and Tracy?
True, Adler had the rock-centric Cheech and Chong’s Up In Smoke under his director’s belt, and it was a huge hit for a first-time director. But that feature film debut for the stoner comedy-duo was not so much a narrative-movie, but a series of dope-inspired skits masquerading as a movie (as is the case with our fourth flick on tonight’s program). And sure, Adler produced The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and it was a huge midnight movie. But it was also huge a box office boondoggle during its initial release. In the end, as with the equally successful film composer and arranger Richard Baskin (Nashville, Welcome to L.A., Honeysuckle Rose) taking his first step behind the camera with the disaster that was 1983’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Hotel, Alder probably should have stuck to his forte as a record producer and music svengali and shouldn’t have been directing a movie in the first place.
In then end, while our big brothers and sisters were out hitting the rock clubs and going to concerts, we, the wee-lads haunting the middle school halls and shopping malls, fell in love with Diane Lane courtesy of Nancy Dowd’s well-intentioned rock flick airing on the USA Network. It’s what geeky, socially maladjusted kids did back then. And besides: where else can you get a punk-supergroup comprised of Paul Simonon from the Clash on bass and the Sex Pistols’ Steve Jones and Paul Cook on guitar and drums (and journeyman Brit-actor Ray Winstone from the Who’s Quadrophenia) as The Looters?
Factoid: The Looters were actually . . . the Professionals, Jones and Cook’s first post-Sex Pistols band (rounded out by guitarist Ray McVeigh and bassist Paul Myers). You can listen to their one and only album, 1981’s I Didn’t See It Coming released on Virgin Records, on You Tube. “Join the Professionals” from the film eventually ended up on the 2001 CD reissue. The Professionals, sans Jones, is back in business since 2017 and you can visit them on Facebook.
Update, 2022: In addition to a second take on this film by contributor Jennifer Upton (the main link, above, takes you to Sam’s view), Imprint now offers a one-disc 2 K Blu-ray version, to be release on December 16, 2022. You can learn more at Blu-ray.com.
It goes without saying that we, the wee-lads spending our Friday and Saturday nights by a cathode ray tube’s glow, watched an edited version (as with the Mike Ness and Social Distortion-starring Another State of Mind) of this . . . well, as Sam pointed out in his review . . . we’re not really sure.
It’s a dizzying kaleidoscope of colors, music, and fashion about New York’s City’s night-life denizens falling victim to endorphin-addicted aliens extracting the “Liquid Sky” chemical from human brains during sexual orgasms — and when the human’s die happy, the aliens suck up all of that energy as well. And to what end, who knows? And who cares: it was on Variety’s top-grossing film chart for over half a year.
Star Anne Carlisle, who played both male and female roles in the film, also starred in Susan Sidelman’s (Smithereens; with Richard Hell of Blank Generation) Desperately Seeking Susan and appeared as the transvestite Gwendoline in Crocodile Dundee (You Tube). Oh, you’ll remember that “Sheila.”
INTERMISSION: The shorts Hardware Wars (1977), Recorded Live (1975), Living Dolls (1980), Arcade Attack (1982)* and Porklips Now* (1980).
Ah . . . more sinfully-quenching brain fluids courtesy of “Night Flight.”
What more can we say about this Canuxploitation shocker from writer-director Ed Hunt? If he can’t go “all in,” he just doesn’t make a movie at all: you never get run-of-the-mill storytelling with Eddie-boy. And to that not-run-of-the-mill end: you’ll root for the evil alien (we think it’s “alien”) Brain and not the dick-whiny high school hero and his screechy girlfriend. That’ll never happen in a mainstream movie and that’s what made The Brain perfect, gooey fodder for us, the wee-tween denizens of the “Night Flight” hoards.
What’s it all about? Hallucinations of inward-pressing walls, come-live teddy bears bleeding from the eyes, demon hands tearing through walls, and monster tentacles punching out of TV sets. It’s about mind control of the Don Coscarelli’s Phantasmand David Cronenberg’s Videodrome variety. It’s about Dr. Carl Hill from Re-Animator as a self-help guru of wayward teens. It’s about a giant-brain-with-teeth that munches on nosey lab assistants, it’s . . . oh, just watch it!!
“The popcorn you’ve just been eating has been pissed in. Film at 11.”
And with that “classic” line, disconnect your brain and just roll with the childish insanity of John Landis, Jerry and David Zucker, and Jim Abrahams — before they unleashed the likes of National Lampoon’s Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Airplane!, and The Naked Gun upon us, the wee triplex hoards (with our older ‘rents or brothers and sisters in support). This quartet of box office-bonanza writer-directors had to start somewhere . . . and Kentucky Fried Movie is it . . . and we love them for this beautiful mess of a “movie” that we watched on USA’s “Night Flight” and taped-from-cable via HBO.
Back in the day, the ‘rents let us watch Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert and NBC-TV’s The Midnight Special. But under no circumstances were we allowed to watch Saturday Night Live. It was “inappropriate” for us. It was “for the adults.” But thanks to HBO and USA, this “film” comprised of non-narrative sketches and parodies of popular films and TV commercials got by our parental guidance sensors.
This cleaned up at the Drive-Ins during its initial release, and yes, that was a night where you were stuck with a babysitter, as mom and dad went for a “night out” — without you. As I watch this all these years later — as with Midnight Cowboy with Dustin Hoffman, Shampoo with Warren Beatty, and Patty Duke in Valley of the Dolls — I fail to see what all the fuss was about.
Yeah, Kentucky Fried Movie is all about “the times” and a case of “you had to be there.” And to that end: if you’re watching this for the first time in 2020, you’ll either love it for its nostalgia, or dismissed it — the same way we then kids dismissed our elder’s variety TV series from the 1940s and 1950s — as “dorky.”
And that’s our show!
Be sure to join us for “Rock ‘n’ Roll Week” coming Sunday, June 19 and running until Saturday, June 25, as we’ll be reviewing a few more of the films we enjoyed as part of The USA Network’s “Night Flight” weekend programming block.
* While we recall watching Arcade Attack and Porklips Now on HBO, readers have told us both shorts also aired on the USA Network. It’s possible, as we recall seeing all of the above shorts on HBO, as well.
Special Thanks: To Jennifer Carroll for reminding us about Living Dolls. Great catch, Jen!It ran not only on USA’s Night Flight, but during USA’s Saturday Nightmares and Commander USA’s Groovie Movies.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook.He also writes forB&S About Movies.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This originally ran as part of our Bastard Sons of Jaws week on December 22, 2018. Seeing as how it is a Mexican shark film, how could we not bring it back for leftovers?
When I was a kid in the 1970’s, I was sitting in a B. Dalton’s reading — parents routinely dropped kids off places to read without any fear of kidnapping back then — and discovered a copy of Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex on a shelf. I had no idea what it was at the time, but the drawings (by Chris Foss, who would go on to work on Alien, Flash Gordon and Jodorowsky’s Dune) were upsetting to me. Hairy soft focused seventies post-hippies getting it on didn’t jibe well with my single digit mind.
I forgot what that feeling was like. And then I watched Tintorera…Tiger Shark.
This movie is based on the novel of the same name by oceanographer Ramón Bravo, an undersea explorer who studied the 19-foot-long species of shark known as “tintorera” and also discovered the sleeping sharks of Isla Mujeres. You may know him better for his role as the underwater zombie in Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2.
Here’s the thing — this is a shark movie, but it’s also pretty much a softcore adult movie about the three-way relationship between the heroes. As such, this is the only shark movie I’ve watched all week with full frontal male nudity, which is something of an accomplishment.
Hugo Stiglitz from Nightmare City plays Steven, born in the US but a Mexican businessman here in Cancun for vacation. He falls for Patricia (Fiona Lewis, Dr. Phibes Rises Again) but breaks up with her when he can’t decide whether or not he’s in love with her. Ah, the 1970’s.
Jealousy ensues when she starts hooking up with Miguel (Andrés García, a real-life former diving instructor who is also in Bermuda: Cave of the Sharks), the swimming instructor at the resort. After those two dance the devil’s dance and Steven gets all misty-eyed, she goes skinny dipping and ends up being eaten by a tiger shark that seems to have breathing problems, judging by the soundtrack.
The two fight over what happened to Patricia, but neither ever learn that she was devoured by a shark. That night, the two hook up with Kelly and Cynthia Madison, two American college students looking for fun, and swim to Steven’s yacht as the heavy breathing shark follows them. They swap beds all night long before heading back to the resort and the shark decides to leave them alone. Kelly is played by Jennifer Ashley, who was also in Phantom of the Paradise, Chained Heatand Guyana: Cult of the Damned, while Cynthia is Laura Lyons, which is her real name and not a stage name inspired by the Sherlock Holmes story The Hound of the Baskervilles. She was the Playboy Playmate of the Month for February 1976 and actually led a strike amongst the club bunnies that led to better wages and rights for them. Other than an appearance on TV’s Love, American Style, this is the only other acting role in her career.
Steven and Miguel decide to partner up both in a shark hunting business and in being womanizers. They start shooting all manner of sharks, but Miguel warns Steven that if they ever meet a tiger shark that they must immediately get out of the water.
The guys meet Gabriella (Susan George, Die Screaming, Marianne) and take her shark hunting. She hates it, but falls for both men. They decide to form a triad relationship where they can’t be with any other woman or fall in love with her. Remember those The Joy of Sex drawings I mentioned earlier? Get ready to watch them play out as the three make love, make omelets and sightsee the Mayan ruins.
Sadly, the next time they go shark hunting, the tiger shark reappears — surprise! — and bites Miguel in half. Gabriella is so upset that she leaves, never to return. Steven vows revenge on the shark and beats up every shark he can find, upsetting even the most hardened fishermen. Surely, they tell him, he has killed the tiger shark by now.
Nope. It’s still out there, killing fishermen and lying in wait for Steven. At a beach party with Kelly, Cynthia and two new American girls (one of them is Priscilla Barnes from TV’s Three’s Company and The Devil’s Rejects), everyone skinny dips. As Steven and Cynthia make out nude in the water, the tiger shark comes back and tears the woman literally out of his embrace. Everyone is injured by the shark’s attack and Steven makes a promise to kill the shark himself.
You may be wondering: how will Steven go about killing this shark? If you guessed “he’s going to blow it up” then congratulations. You’ve been watching just as many shark movies as I have. Are explosives the shark’s natural predator?
Anyhow — Steven uses a devilfish to lure the shark close and then he hears its breathing, because that’s how sharks work. He succeeds in turning that shark into a million pieces, but loses his arm in the process. He wakes up in a hospital bed, minus an arm but filled with happy memories of the sexy times he shared with Miguel and Gabriella.
Keep in mind when you seek out this film that there are two versions. One is 85 minutes long and is more of a shark film. Then there’s the 126 minutes long cut that’s chock full of swinging Mexican resort sex. Also, a warning for those of you sensitive to these matters: many of the scenes of fish being caught and killed underwater are unsimulated. That should be no surprise to anyone who has seen a René Cardona Jr. directed film, as he threw live birds through windows in Beaks: The Movie and a cat over a wall in Night of a Thousand Cats. He’s also responsible for the borderline insane film Bermuda Triangle, as well as the scum-ridden cash-in Guyana: Crime of the Century.
Tintorera…Tiger Shark is one of the stranger films I’ve watched, not only in my shark obsessed week of trying to watch every single pre-Sharknado film of this genre, but really in all the films I’ve watched. I have no idea who it is truly for, yet appreciate its willingness to indulge in spectacle and scum, whether that be people hooking up or being eaten in front of your very eyes.
Update: Kino Lorber is re-issuing Tintorera on January 5, 2021 to Blu-ray. In addition to a new audio commentary track by film historians Troy Howarth and Rod Barnett, the Blu also features the original theatrical trailer and optional English subtitles packed in a limited-edition slipcase and reversible cover art. You can learn more about Kino Lorber’s complete roster of films at their official website and Facebook, and watch the related film trailers on You Tube.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This originally ran on October 26, 2017. If we’re discussing Mexican horror, we need to talk about this movie.
Alucarda is:
A 1977 nunspolitation/vampire/Mexican horror/Exorcist inspired film about two girls who become possessed by Satan.
The source of many My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult samples, specifically the song “And This Is What the Devil Does.”
A movie filled with so much screaming, it upset my dog.
All of the above and so much more.
Juan López Moctezuma, the director of the film, was close with Alejandro Jodorowsky (some claim he was behind the camera for El Topo). So you should expect something much stranger than your average horror film.
In a Mexican convent and orphanage, a new girl named Justine arrives. She becomes close with another orphan named Alucarda, who was born in a mysterious barn and may be evil before this film even starts. In fact, she often appears in the film out of the shadows, filled with menace and questioning everyone’s faith.
While the two girls — whose relationship is nearly sexual — play in the forest, they discover a band of gypsies and the barn where Alucarda was born. Then, of course, they open a casket and unleash Satan, who possesses them. They take part in an orgy where the literal goat-headed one himself shows up, which is only stopped when Sister Angélica prays for Jesus to intervene. The witch conducting the ritual is struck down in bloody fashion.
A title card comes up telling us that this is the end of part one. I stood up and cheered. I was home alone.
Justine and Alucarda start questioning every mass and even praise Satan out loud, questioning the faith of every member of the convent. Father Lazardo demands an exorcism, one that costs Justine her life. Alucarda is saved at the last moment by Dr. Oszek (Claudio Brook, who also appeared in Del Toro’s Cronos and who also plays the hunchback who leads the women into the forest). Now, Alucarda has a new love interest, the Doctor’s daughter Daniela.
Alucarda isn’t done. She must have her revenge. She possesses a nun and sets her on fire. Father Lazardo beheads her and the entire monastery must self-flagellate to prepare themselves to fight Satan.
Justine’s body is gone — it’s in the barn where Alucarda was born. When they open it, it’s filled with blood and she emerges, now a vampire. While Alucarda kills everyone else. Sister Angélica attempts to save Justine. The doctor tries little spurts of Holy Water but it’s not enough. He barely escapes with his life, while the sister pays the ultimate price. Only Angélica’s dead body can stop Alucarda, who screams and disappears.
You know how I get evangelical about movies? Well, Alucarda is one of them. From the sets to the clothes to the acting to sound design to the just plain weirdness of it all, there’s never been a movie quite this weird. And with the movies I’ve seen, that’s an achievement.
Maurizio Pradeaux only directed one other giallo, Death Carries a Cane. The translation for this is off, as Passi di Morte Perduti nel Buio really should be Death Steps Lost in the Dark. It has a bigger name American actor, Robert Webber (The Silencers) in it.
Leonard Mann, who was in The Humanoid and Night Schoolbefore retiring to work in prison reform, plays Luciano, a reporter whose train trip to Greece is interrupted when a woman is killed with his letter opener. Working with his Swedish girlfriend (Vera Kruska, Assignment Skybolt), he must solve the murders and clear his name. There’s also another couple who find the murderer’s glove and try to blackmail him or her.
Oh yes — our hero also has to hide out in drag.
This isn’t my favorite giallo, due to too much comedy and not enough fashion or pure craziness. That said, you can watch it on Amazon Prime.
This is a movie that features a shark movie parody called Jews. That alone should warn you of the heights that this movie will dramatically trip and fail before it even gets close to takeoff. It isn’t helped by another parody called King Dong, which is exactly what you think it is. Then there’s The Happy Cooker, a show hosted by Xaviera Collander. That’s a joke only I would find funny, to be honest.
Three people, other than myself, have reviewed this on Letterboxd. That should give you an idea of how bad it is. Its one saving grace is that it’s the first movie that Joe Piscopo ever made.
Imagine all of the worst Saturday Night Live sketches, the ones that seem to go on for on and on and on, with people noticeably silent and every cast member looking uncomfortable. Now make an entire movie of that.
At least the poster is nice.
You can watch this on YouTube. Well, you could. It’s been pulled. But here’s a clip with Joe Piscopo!
Also known as Jabberwalk, you have to love any mondo movie that starts with “America the Beautiful” being destroyed by The Dictators and then explains that demolition derbies are the top sport in the U.S.
Drive-in churches. Satanic masses. Mud wrestling. Fast food. If the world of America in this movie was true, I’d feel a lot better about our future.
Writer/producer/director Romano Vanderbes made two of these movies, as well as America Exposed, which I’m certain shocked the hell out of people in Finland.
There’s a scene with a nude competition and adult stars CJ Laing — who was in Barbara Broadcast — and Bree Anthony appear. You can also see the all female band Isis and a young Arnold getting his pump on at Gold’s Gym.
Funeral parlors where you can just drive on in? Dildo factories? Dungeons? This Is America has all that and yes, so much more. It’s exactly the type of mondo you’d hope would be in this kind of sleaze. It lives up to that and way, way more.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie originally ran on our site on January 27, 2020, back when we were doing two weeks of Satanic films. Seeing as how it was just re-released by Mondo Macabro, we’re bringing it back.
Sister Maria should be living the quiet and chaste convent life, but she has a fantasy world in which she runs free and wild, the servant of Satan. In our world, her acts of violent blasphemy are on the increase as she begins to realize that her job is to lead her sisters in Christ down the left hand path to Hell. The Devil has his hooves into Sister Maria and he isn’t going to let go.
Gilberto Martinez Solares also directed Santo and Blue Demon Against the Monsters, but there’s no way that will prepare you for this movie. I’d compare it — obviously — to Alucarda, a movie that it has similar themes to but less eye popping visuals. That’s not to say that this movie plays it safe, but man, it had a high bar to reach.
Sure, Maria is good with medicine and animals, but once she sees Lucifer — who tells her “Call me Lucifer. If you want me, just think of me, I’m everywhere.” — and eats the apple he offers, all Hell breaks loose. Where she once self-flagellated herself, now our heroine — I guess? — is making love to the other nuns when she’s not watching them hang themselves.
There’s also an interesting subplot about a black nun who is treated badly by everyone, including her Mother Superior, which seems a deep subject to tackle in a Mexican nunsploitation film. Also — lots of stabbing. And obviously, this is where Salma Hayek’s character in From Dusk Till Dawn got her name.
You can get the new blu ray re-release from Mondo Macabro, who were kind enough to send us this movie.
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