Bill (Christopher George, taking a vacation from his wife, who is in nearly every movie with him), Jamie, Dan (Preston Pierce, Angels’ Wild Women) and Diana (Roberta Collins, Matilda the Hun from Death Race 2000) are on a treasure hunt deep in the Southern backwoods, seeking an inheritance of prices Civil War rifles. Sure, why not?

After thirty minutes of more of travelogue and dirt bike footage, you may wonder, “Has slasher month gone to Sam’s head? When are we going to get to the senseless violence?” Patience, slashawan.

The deeper into the South our protagonists find themselves, the less hospitality they get from the locals, but hey, there’s plenty of money on the other side of the rainbow on Whiskey Mountain, right? Well, there’s also a drug operation that runs everything around, even the cops, all headed up by Rudy (John Davis Chandler, probably the only actor I know that appeared in both Adventures In Babysitting and High Plains Drifter).

This is a movie that has all real marijuana as props and a soundtrack by the Charlie Daniels Band, along with the exact kind of horrors you know await them yankees when they ask too many questions and push too hard. It’s also filled with Peckinpah-esque slow motion — most effect with Heorge is double firing shotguns — to go with a brutal scene where we only hear the assault on the girls and see still evidence as it develops on Polaroids. Also — it’s 1977 and a technically a motorcycle movie. so that means that it also has a potential downer ending freeze frame.

I tell you what, William Grefé has never let me down. You can get this as part of the He Came from the Swamp box set that Arrow Video has just release. Diabolik DVD is a great bet to find a copy.

You can watch this on YouTube.

You have to admire the balls of the makers of this movie. Actually, you can probably see them from space. They bought footage of Sir Christopher Lee from another movie and treated it as the beginning and ending footage in this movie, then said that the film stars the venerable thespian. Learning that a lawsuit would be long and expensive, he just had to fume. I wonder if he was as angry as when he walked out of A Bay of Blood?

Lee’s speech has nothing at all to do with the rest of the movie. Let’s all admire his plaid slacks, however.

Anyways, the real meat of the movie involves the death of a dog named Poopers, four college students killing one of their professors and lots and lots of paintings, then Morak, an evil force, comes out of the possibly dead professor.

You’ll be forgiven if this movie seems like it makes no sense because it doesn’t. And that’s probably why I liked it, because I watched it five drinks into a bender and it was perfect for that moment when alcohol goes from tasted wonderful to tasting like way too much.

This was probably made in 1975, but who cares? How many movies do you know where dead teachers command cacti from beyond the grave to kill their students? I can think of one and I’m writing about it right now.

Seriously, Christopher Lee spent as much time looking at contracts as all my favorite horror stars. Work is work, but I have no idea how he thought reading a script about a shaman convention inside a wood-paneled room was going to work out all that well.

Evan Lee made one movie. This was it. If he made any more, the world would have exploded.

In case you need to know just how odd and weird and whatever other descriptors you need for it, Ed Wood himself shows up in a cameo. Now that’s a guy that knew how to throw a non sequitur speech directly into a movie. Pull the strings!

You can watch this on YouTube.

Somehow, some way, this movie played the Cannes and Berlin Film Festivals in 1973 as The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell. It also was named The Fun House, which is possibly how Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse became a video nasty. It was finally released in 1979 under this title by Cinematic Releasing Corporation, who tried to pass it off as a film connected to The Last House On the Left.

Because every name the film is a pseudonym and no one came forward to claim making this movie, there were rumors for years that this was a real snuff movie. In 2000, Roger Watkins came forward to take ownership, even telling how Otto Preminger had gifted him with the Bolex camera he used to film the snuff sequences. He was also hooked on amphetamine while making it, spending $2,200 of the movies $3,000 budget on drugs.

Watkins, who apprenticed with Freddie Francis and Nicholas Ray, would go on to make several adult films under the name Richard Mahler. His films Her Name Was Lisa and Corruption are less porn than art movies with penetration.

Let me state this up front: this movie is not for those looking for an easy watch.

Terry Hawkins just got out of jail for a year on drug charges and wants to make something beyond pornography. He wants to capture murder on film. He rounds up a crew of like-minded people and gets Jim and Nancy Palmer involved. Jim’s a porn director who says that people are getting too desensitized. Terry’s just the guy to shock everyone.

From real animal mutilation to people being forced to orally satisfy goat hooves — and oh yeah, body parts being torn apart while smelling salts are used to keep people awake — this is a movie about horrible people doing horrible things.

As for the square up reel at the end, where a voiceover claims everyone was punished for their crimes, distributor Leon Fentonand his assistant Bernie Travis added that as they felt that some punishment had to be delivered to the bad guys. Watkins felt that this ruined the film.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Made in Charlotte, North Carolina by one and done director/writer/producer/editor/stunt coordinator/casting director Dave A. Adams, this movie isn’t even about David Berkowitz — or whoever was really the Son of Sam — much less a new version of this occult killer. No, instead, it’s about Harvey.

Who is Harvey, you may ask. Well, he’s a killer escaped from a mental hospital in a movie that has moments that seem to be Halloween a year before that even hit theaters. Don’t think that this has any Carpenter directorial highlights or moments of Dean Cundy-esque camera brilliance. The movie tends to pause for several seconds while dialogue just keeps running and the camera seems to be a window into the mind of someone tripping balls while the coolest synths ever play.

Speaking of music, the real star of this show is a lounge singer named Johnny Charro who still plays shows to this day. Oh yeah, there’s also SWAT officers in action, a stuffed dog who seemingly wants to take a shower with his owner and an abortion, because, well, I honestly have no idea why.

Harvey has been killing people because his mom assaulted him as a child. Why did the cops bring her out to try and talk him out of a hostage situation? Seriously, that’s some giallo-level police buffoonery.

You can get this movie on the AGFA blu ray for The Zodiac Killer or watch it on Tubi.

Oh man, this movie.

An Interpol agent and his entire family — minus their young son — are all killed. A wealthy industrialist who that agent once saved is in turn saved, made better, stronger and faster, then gets his revenge.

That boy, Sonny Lee, is now the Bionic Boy.

Bionic Boy takes place in the same universe as Cleopatra Wong and for that, I am forever grateful. They would even end up teaming up in 1979’s The Return of the Bionic Boy.

If this is your first foray into the cinema of the Phillipines, let me warn you. This kid is going to be put into more danger than ten showings of The Goonies put together. Also, he has no issues with killing every bad guy who comes his way, which seems pretty adult for a ten-year-old.

There is so much Moog synth in this and its punctuated by punches that sound like megaton explosions. I want every movie to be like this, to be perfetcly honest.

Record City is no High Fidelity, Empire Records, or even FM. Not even Trax in Pretty In Pink. Nope, Record City is a huge story filled with way too many people that all meander around with no story whatsoever, but if you’re interested in film as time capsule of an era, this is certainly one worth opening and looking inside.

DJ Gordon Kong (Rick Dees, the creator of “Disco Duck,” which along with “Dr. Disco” appear in Saturday Night Fever; Dees also wrote the theme for Meatballs, plus hosted Solid Gold and the late night show Into the Night Starring Rick Dees) has a fake gorilla arm and is hosting a talent show in the parking lot while we watch the records get sold inside.

This is an American-International Picture, believe it or not, but it comes at the end of a great run. Get ready for 1978’s best — or worst depending on your point of view — cast, replete with pop culture bit players, the kind we love most around here. There’s Jeff Altman, two years away from The Pink Lady and Jeff (the kind of culture clash that we really would write about if we covered television series, as an engineer. Altman’s in a ton of stuff that I love, like American Hot Wax and Easy Money, as well as some stuff I downright hate like Wacko and Highlander II: The Quickening. Familiar faces include Ed Begley Jr., Sorrell “Boss Hogg, but he’s also in Devil Times Five” Booke, Ruth Buzzi, Pittsburgh native Frank Gorshin, Ted “Isaac the Bartender” Lange, Gallagher, Harold “Oddjob” Sakata, Larry Storch, Tim Thomerson and Wendy Schall (who is in everything from Innerspace to Creature, Munchies, The ‘Burbs and Small Soldiers; you’ll also recognize her voice as Francine on American Dad).

But the film excels at presenting those on the fringes of relevance, even in 1978. Like Dean Martin’s dancing uncle Leonard Barr. Sylvia Anderson, who was in She Devils In Chains, Angels’ Brigade and Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway. John Halsey, who was Barry Wom in The Ruttles. PSA star Joe Higgins. Russell Howard, a skateboarder who also ends up in two Andy Sidaris movies, Hard Ticket to Hawaii and Seven. Nadejda Dobrev from Ed Wood’s Orgy of the Dead. Alan Oppenheimer, the voice of Skeletor, Man-At-Arms, Beastman, Cringer, Inch High Private Eye, Vanity Smurf and more. Alice Ghostley (Bernice from Designing Women and Mrs. Murdock in Grease). Tony Giorgio, Satan in Night Train to Terror! March 1974 Playboy Playmate of the Month Pamela Zinszer. And weirdest of all, one-time leader “The Texas Jewboys,” writer Kinky Friedman.

I can’t stop you from checking this out for yourself. I can only tell that this is a total mess. But sometimes, those are the movies we love best, right?

You can watch Record City on Amazon Prime.

You know how some idiot always ends up pulling the stake out of Dracula? This time, a moron does the same thing to Dracula’s dog Zoltan. Yes, an entire film about vampiric dogs — not to be confused with Devil Dog Hound of Hell — directed by Albert Band.

PS: We have more dogs on our list of Ten Horror Movie Dogs.

Veidt Smit (Reggie Nadler, who would go on to be Mr. Barlow in a much better vampire film, Salem’s Lot and Van Helsing in Dracula Sucks) was once the owner of the dog in the title, but Dracula (Michael Pataki!) turned man’s best friend against him.

Pataki also is the ancestor of Dracula, who Smit wants to carry on the family curse. So they start biting every dog — the family has four, which seems close to hording — including a really cute puppy that ends up surviving at the end — and looking like my much-missed long-eared pal Angelo, so this made me happy.

Star Trek fans will be overjoyed to see Arlene Martel (“Amok Time”) show up for a few minutes, as well as Jan Shutan (“Lights of Zetar”).

Let me tell you how dumb this movie is. We’re repeatedly told that Pataki is the last descendent of Dracula, but he has two kids. That’s how dumb it is.

The Zoltan

• 1 oz. Kahlua
• 1.5 oz. vodka
• 4 oz. milk
• 1 splash cola

Pour the Kahlua and vodka over ice. Add the milk then top with cola before stirring.

Also known as A Man Called Blade, this late in the game Italian Western was directed by one of B&S About Movies’ favorite directors, Sergio Martino. Yes, we tend to discuss him pretty frequently here, but look — the guy made Torso, Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key, The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, All the Colors of the Dark, 2019: After the Fall of New York, Hands of Steel and many more.

I’ve been really looking forward to this film and it did not disappoint.

Maurizio Merli (Violent Rome) stars as Blade, a bounty hunter who favors a tomahawk as his weapon. After all, Mannaja means hatchet. I have no idea why they didn’t just call him that instead of Blade. Anyhow, our hero comes to the mining town of Suttonville with Burt Craven (Donald O’Brien) as his captive, but he just wants to kill mining boss Ed McGowan, who he blames for the death of his father.

However, when he meets the man, he’s in a wheelchair and “not worth it.” However, he will take the man’s money and decides to rescue the man’s daughter from Theo Voller (John Steiner), who is really working with her to take over the mine. They kill a prostitute who is in love with Blade right in front of him and bury him up to his neck in the desert, leaving pins in his eyes to force them open, blinding him. He’s rescued by Craven, even after he took that man’s hand. Now, that vengeance that Blade has always been looking for will finally be his.

This movie stands out — not just for its prog soundtrack (which sounds a lot like the music in Keoma) by Guido & Maurizio De Angelis (Oliver Onions!) — but for the foggy ending and the sheer weirdness of the proceedings. It doesn’t feel like any other Italian Western you’ve seen and credit is due to Martino.

Someday when we can travel, I want to drink at Saloon Brew in Brazil. They feature a different Italian Western star on every one of their bottles. A good cold Mannaja would be perfect right now.

Speaking of that theme song, let me share the lyrics with you: “You’re alone. A solitary man. And when the sun goes down, your memories back around with you and your heart is breaking down. This here was your father’s land. Nothing bad, you can’t pretend. You love justice and you love peace. When the time will come to kill, to destroy who loves to kill and your hand will stop the axe and your conscience will be satisfied. Yes. You’re a good man, no one will put you down. Your feel is right, down worry man. Keep going, you know the way. That’s the right way. Keep going. You’re alone. A solitary man.”

I loved every single second of this. If only all movies could make me this happy. Also, this has more fog than The Fog but less than Conquest, because no more can ever have that much fog.

You can watch this on Tubi.