When she’s given one last wish before moving into the Tranquil Gardens retirement home, Grandma (Jane Connell, Hepzibah from Bewitched) makes sure that her son Frank (Paul Avery), daughter-in-law May (Kate McGregor-Stewart) and granddaughter Greta (Kelly Wolf) all discover just what a drag it is to get old.

Directed by Warren Shook (who acted in Dawn of the Dead, Creepshow and Knightriders and directed three episodes of this series and two of Monsters) and written by Jule Selbo, who went on to work on Young Indiana Jones and several Disney direct to video sequels, this is yet another message and comedy episode of the series. It’s not bad but not the greatest either, as it’s packed with unfunny humor, a message that gets hammered home and so much overacting.

Frank Bigalow (Richard Romanus) is trapped inside an apartment where he’s tortured every time he tries to smoke with only a hole in the wall where he can talk to a fellow smoker. If it makes you remember Cat’s Eye and James Woods trying to quit, well, everyone was trying to stop smoking in 1985.

Director Timna Ramon made two other episodes of this show, “Mookie and Pookie” and “Dream Girl.” The story for this comes from Kenneth Wayne Hanis, who was the construction supervisor for the show, and Craig Mitchell, with the script being written by Michael McDowell, who went on to write Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The house in this is crazy as lights and sirens go off with each puff. I don’t know how this makes you quit. It seems like it makes you lose your mind.

Carl Gropper (Vince Edwards) wants to pay Chinese laundry man Chow Ting (James Hong) to wash away all his sins. It’s funny, because one of the commercials that George Romero and his crew worked on was the “ancient Chinese secret” ad for Calgon.

It’s a pretty simple concept: you really can’t wash away your guilt. It’s another morality episode instead of a horror one, which is better than the comedy episodes.

Frank De Palma directed eight episodes of this show and edited six, while writer Harvey Jacobs would write five scripts for this and two for Monsters, which is pretty much the same show with a less frightening open and close.

Frank (Brad Cowgill) and Arnie (Anthony Tomkins) have traveled for hours to see Kharma (Joe Turkel, Lloyd from The Shining) perform. Frank had heard that Kharma could do the kind of magic that only Houdini was able to conjure, yet he learns that the magician just does the simplest of magic. His assistant Flora (Cynthia Frost) explains that he’s exhausted but Frank gets past her and asks why Kharma no longer does his levitation trick. He tries to explain how dangerous it is, but Frank isn’t satisfied. He starts to heckle every time Kharma tries to perform until he’s called on stage to be part of it. He should have perhaps not pushed an occultist so far.

Directed by John Harrison, who directed eight episodes of this series and the movie, as well as music for Effects, Creepshow and Day of the Dead, this was written by David Gerrold (who also wrote the “If the Shoes Fit…” episode) from a story by Jospeh Payne Brennan.

It’s one of the best episodes of the show, setting up the idea, creating a great story out of it and even better, having a dark payoff. If someone asked me for an episode of the show they should watch, this would be it.

Armand Mastroianni directed The Clairvoyant, The Supernaturals and He Knows You’re Alone, so he has to have some understanding of horror. Sadly, this is another funny — so they say — episode. David Gerrold wrote plenty of TV — maybe we can’t blame Louis Haber, one of the credited writers, who didn’t — so one wonders why an episode where the entire plot is summed up as politicians are clowns ever made it to air.

Dick Shawn is Bo Gumbs, a politician drinks whiskey, dancing with a maid and talks about politics with the bellboy. Then, as he sends his clothes to the laundry, surprise, he ends up having clown shoes.

Remember when George Romero was once the guy who had nuanced commentary in his films and then suddenly his later movies felt like the most obvious messages ever? I worry that he was compromised by this show, which often takes the easiest way to 22 minutes of syndicated storytelling.

Directed by John Hayes (the director of Dream No Evil, Grave of the Vampire and Jailbait Babysitter!) and written by Thomas Epperson, this episode of Tales from the Darkside has Edward Osborne (Stuart Whitman!) and his much younger wife Cathy (Therese Pare, who was the lead in Hayes’ previously mentioned Jailbait Babysitter) — along with employee and his wife’s secret lover Michael Fox (Nick Benedict) — discovering that there is a secret room within home thanks to the use of a spirit board.

They begin speaking to Ben, the last owner of the house and now a ghost, who relates that the Madness Room hidden inside the house, but with a name like that and also the fact that it’s a room filled with hanging dolls that looks straight out of a giallo, nothing good can come of this. Sure, it’s a scheme by the two secret adulterers to give the weak-hearted Edward a cardiac overload, but when this has one more than one twist in its short running time.

After a few weeks of unfunny and not frightening episodes, the simple Ouija and haunted house elements in this, handled by a more than competent director, show just how good this show can be.

Want more Ouija info? Here’s an entire article on spirit boards in movies.