EDITOR’S NOTE: This article originally appeared during a week of Stallone movies on August 15, 2019. A major film in Cannon’s journey to respectability, I was inspired to go back and update and add to this.

Stirling Silliphant wrote the Oscar-winning screenplay for 1967’s In the Heat of the Night, as well as The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure, Village of the Damned,  Telefon, The Enforcer, Shaft In Africa and more than 700 hours of prime-time television drama to his credit. He was also a close friend and student of Bruce Lee, who he featured in the movie Marlowe and four episodes of the series Longstreet. They also worked together on a script called The Silent Flute, which was eventually filmed as Circle of Iron.

Those are some fantastic credits. Somehow, someway, he eventually found himself working with Sylvester Stallone to write the screenplay for the movie that would take arm wrestling from the bar to the mainstream. And who was ready to direct?

None other than Cannon Group co-owner Menahem Golan, the director of Delta Force, Enter the Ninja and The Apple. Yes, that Menahem Golan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ8d_czhqeA

Lincoln Hawk (Stallone) is a man trying to rebuild his life. While he does that, he’s driving a truck and arm wrestling. His ex-wife Christina (Susan Blakely, My Mom’s a Werewolf, The Concorde … Airport ’79) wants him to bond with their son Michael (David Mendenhall, Space Raiders, Streets and the 12-year-old drug dealer in the Diff’rent Strokes episode where Nancy Reagan shows up) because she knows that she’s dying.

Michael has been in military school and calls everyone “sir.” His grandfather, Jason Cutler (this movie is yet another in my quest to see every film with Robert Loggia in it), hates Hawk and never wants him in their family.

On the journey from Colorado to California, Michael develops a deep bond with his father, who teaches him the art of arm wrestling and the essence of manhood. However, their reunion at the hospital is marred by the news of Christina’s demise. Blaming his father for not being there in her final moments, Michael returns to his grandfather’s home. Hawk, in a desperate attempt to free his son, ends up getting arrested. The mansion where Cutler resides may look familiar, as it was also featured in The Beverly Hillbillies.

Michael visits Hawk in jail, informing him of his decision to stay with his grandfather. Determined to win back his son’s trust, Hawk sets off to compete in the World Armwrestling Championship in Las Vegas, with a grand prize of $100,000 and a new, larger semi-truck. In a bold move, he sells his truck and places a $7,000 bet on himself at twenty-to-one odds. The discovery of the letters Hawk had written to him over the years, trying to establish a connection, further fuels Michael’s belief in his father.

Hawk advances to the final eight but suffers his first loss in the double-elimination tournament and hurts his arm. Cutler summons our hero and tells him that he’s always been a loser, but if he leaves forever, he’ll give him $500,000 and a better truck than the prize.

Hawk refuses and makes it to the finals, taking on his rival, the undefeated Bull Hurley. His son finds him and gives him the emotional energy he needs to survive, just as Hawk doesn’t only beat Bull but gains his respect. Somehow, Cutler gets over ten years of being a complete asshole and is happy about Michael and Hawk being reunited because that’s how eighties movies work. The guys get so sweaty in the final battle that they have to get the strap, and people go wild for it. It’s pretty impressive, and you’ll yell, “Get the strap!” too.

The film’s climactic finals were shot during a tournament organized by Cannon, the production company. This year-long competition, starting in Beverly Hills, featured events across North America, Europe, Israel, and Japan. The actual crowd and the B-roll footage of matches at the Las Vegas Hilton are what you see in the movie. The scene where Michael Bociu breaks his elbow? That’s as real as it gets.

If you’re into pro wrestling, Terry Funk, Reggie Bennett and Scott Norton show up here (Ox Baker, who was in Escape from New York, and Manny Fernandez and The Barbarian almost made it into the movie). Plenty of professional arm wrestlers like professional arm wrestling personalities such as Allen Fisher, John Vreeland, Andrew “Cobra” Rhodes, John Brzenk (who inspired the story) and Cleve Dean are also on hand.

The music in this movie is astounding. Kenny Loggins sings “Meet Me Halfway” numerous times, and there is also some Giorgio Moroder, some Asia, some Robin Zander, some Eddie Money and Sammy Hagar singing “Winner Takes It All,” which was also made into a music video to promote the film.

The film received three nominations at the 8th Golden Raspberry Awards in 1988. David Mendenhall won two for both Worst Supporting Actor and Worst New Star, which seems kind of crappy for them to abuse a kid. Sylvester Stallone was nominated for Worst Actor, an award he’s won four times, but he lost to Bill Cosby in Leonard Part 6 this time.

Stallone has claimed that if he had directed this, he would’ve changed the setting to an urban environment, used scored music instead of rock songs, and made the Las Vegas finale more ominous. These changes would have significantly altered the film’s tone and atmosphere. So why was he in it? He answered, “Menahem Golan kept offering me more and more money until I finally thought, “What the hell – no one will see it!””

Speaking of Stirling Silliphant, he only did the screenplay. Actor/writer Gary Conway (American Ninja 2: The Confrontation) and director/writer David Engelbach (America 3000, Death Wish II) created the original story. Engelbach cried when he saw the finished movie, remarking that his original draft “wasn’t nearly as dumb as the final film and was more about truck driving and arm-wrestling than it should’ve been.”

When this movie came out, my brother and I were in our early teens and couldn’t wait for it. There was an entire line of toys that had knobs in their backs that allowed them to arm wrestle and, even better, an actual competition table. We begged our parents for it nearly every day for six months, but our mother continually told us to use an actual table. She had no vision. At this point, I could have a father-in-law who hates me, a bedridden ex-wife and a son who doesn’t know me, but I could flash anyone and put their arm down in no time. Get the strap!

Even more magical, fifty miles from the filming of this movie, Sergio Martino had assembled an Italian/American crew to create Hands of Steel, the only Road Warrior by way of The Terminator truck driving movie that also has arm wrestling in it. Coincidence? Do you know anything about Italian cinema?

You can listen to The Cannon Canon podcast about this movie here.

A movie with many working titles — My Affair With the President’s Wife, then The President’s Wife and The Assassin — star Charles Bronson set the record straight: “Someone thought the original title might be insulting to the presidency of the United States, so they changed it. There’s an assassination involved so they stuck with that. They didn’t want to scare off people who come to see my films with a title like President’s Wife. It’s not what people expect from one of my pictures.”

It was also Bronson’s wife Jill Ireland’s first in three years following an operation for breast cancer. She told The Ottawa Citizen, “I’d thought the cancer might have ended my acting career. They (Menahem and Yoram) asked me to do the film at my birthday party last year and it was the best present I could have received.”

Jay Killian (Charles Bronson) is a senior member of the Secret Service and he’s upset that instead of guarding President Calvin Craig, he’s been put on the detail of the First Lady, Lara Royce Craig (Jill Ireland). Neither of them likes the other at all, but they have to work together when she’s targeted by someone potentially in the White House itself. Meanwhile, Killian has to keep his relationship with co-worker Charlotte Chang (Jan Gan Boyd) alive.

The final theatrical film of director Peter Hunt (he would make the TV movie Eyes of a Witness in 1991; he’s best known for On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) and writer Richard Sale, as wel as the last of sixteen movies that Ireland and Bronson would make together, Assassination feels like the end of an era. It was near the end of the glory years of Cannon, so don’t be surprised when music from Invasion U.S.A. gets re-used and whole pages of the script were torn out to cut the budget.

The best part of this? When Chang asks Killian why he doesn’t want to move in with her and he answers, “I don’t want to die from a terminal orgasm.”

While I didn’t enjoy the other movie David Landsberg and Lorin Dreyfuss did for Cannon — Detective School Dropouts — I have to say that I totally adored this movie, probably because the Dolly Dots make such infectious music. Made up of Angela Groothuizen, Angéla Kramers, Anita Heilker, Esther Oosterbeek, Patty Zomer and Ria Brieffies, they’re a real band from the Netherlands that were popular in the 1970s and 1980s. They even had their own TV show, Barbie Girls.

Jerry Morgan (Landsberg) has just got out of jail for 250 parking tickets that were actually the fault of his friend Norm (Dreyfuss), who told him to plead guilty as nothing bad could happen. A few months later, Norm picks Jerry up outside jail and tells him that he’s rented out his apartment and that his girlfriend has left him.

For some reason, Norm’s big plan to make money is to go to Holland and perform as a knife throwing team. This just ends up with both in jail and with them meeting the Dolly Dots, which is a great reason to see them play in concert. Norm tells them that Jerry is Capitol Records boss Lou Winters and to look them up whenever they get to Los Angeles. Then they’re kicked out of the country.

When they get back home, Jerry works in a hotel kitchen and Norm drives a cab. The Dolly Dots really do come to LA and want Lou Winters to manage them. They stay at the same hotel where Jerry works and our protagonists have to keep up the illusion that they’re both employees of the hotel and also very important music execs until the band Dead Meat ruins their scam. The Dolly Dots end up defeating the metal band in concert, the real Lou Winters signs them and it all ends rather happily.

Imagine if no one knew who the Spice Girls were when they made Spice World and you’ll have an idea what this movie is. Directed by Boaz Davidson, this movie moves fast and has the same goofy humor as Detective School Dropouts, but the synth fun of the Dolly Dots makes it feel so much better.

In an alternate universe, this movie is much bigger than it is in ours.

I mean, at this point I feel like I may have written one of these movies I’ve seen so many of them. Even the description — Hughie, Bobbi and Benny are looking forward to a summer of hot girls when Johnny’s parents leave him alone in the house — could be any of the other Lemon Popsicle movies.

At this point, none of the original creative team worked on this, with Anton Moho writing the script and Walter Bannert — yes, the same man who directed the rough as hell youth fascism movie The Inheritors — directing.

I may have gone on record numerous times of my intense displeasure with most Troma productions, but this was actually produced by The institute, a production company formed by George, Craig A. Colton and Robert Tinnell, and distributed by Troma.

After the earthquake that’s always been prophecized that will destroy the coastline of California finally arrives, Adolf (Barry Brenner) declares himself the Führer of the new beach and has his Surf Nazis attack all of the other rival surf gangs*. But when he murders Mama Washingon’s (Gail Neely) son, he’s finally made the mistake that will undo his foamy Fourth Reich.

The original box of Surf Nazis Must Die used to practically shouts “Rent me!” from the shelves of every video store I ever went to, yet somehow I’ve never seen it until now. Probably the biggest selling point to me was the appearance of Bobbie Bresee, who won my heart in Mausoleum, showing up as Smeg’s mom, who is very concerned about the path her son is going down.

Somewhere in here is an idea for a really fun movie, more of The Warriors on a post-apocalyptic beach, and I love that. But it doesn’t really have a focus, but then again, Mama Washington is such a great character and I love every moment that she’s on screen. So…secret success?

The new Troma blu ray of Surf Nazis Must Die has a new introduction by Lloyd Kaufman, an exclusive interview with director Peter George, an on-set interview with producer Robin Tinnell, deleted scenes, an episode of The Projection Booth with Peter George, scenes from the Tromaville Café!, a feature on the Soul of Troma, promos for Radiation March, Indie Artists vs. Cartels and Gizzard Face II: Return of Gizzard Face, a Blood Stab sort and more #FanTOXIC featurettes. You can get this blu ray from MVD.

*The Samurais, The Pipeliners, the Skate Rats, Biker Bar and Designer Waves, made up of Curl Blow and Dry. Thanks Edith on Letterboxd!

Reverend Thadeous Sutton (Bill Shaw) and citizens have gathered for the hanging of Frank Clements, who curses the preacher and all of his family before he dies. A century later, that curse — and the undead gang — continue to haunt the preacher’s grandson and his family. And when it comes to bad hombres who can’t be killed again, things look pretty rough.

Directed by Alan Stewart from a script by Clay McBride (who wrote Look Who’s Toxic, another movie Stewart was involved on) and James Desmarais, this film pits a Vietnam vet, a woman interested in the history of the Clements outlaws and the professor who is the grandson — also played by Shaw — of the preacher from the opening of the film.

Shot on the Western set and using cowboy actors from Texas Safari Ranch in Clifton, Texas, it’s kind of weird that the bad guys look nothing like the cover and are killed with normal bullets, but hey — it’s a low budget regional horror movie that somehow got a video release and then was brought back for today’s boutique video rediscovery market.

The actual blu ray is great, with extensive commentary that shows how a movie like this could be made and make money. The extra features are way more interesting than the actual film and allow me to recommend this, as there’s a lot of great information within this release.

Ghost Riders comes from the producers and writers of Action U.S.A. and is now available on blu ray. It has commentary from director of photography/producer Thomas L. Calloway, writer/producer James Desmarais and moderator Steve Latshaw, a documentary featured named Bringing Out the Ghosts: The Making of Ghost Riders, Low Budget Films: On the Set of Ghost Riders, a photo gallery and trailers. You can buy it from MVD.

Lina Romay directed 13 movies in between starring in 123 films, most of them with the man for whom she became a muse, Jess Franco.

Surprisingly, this film — despite a title that means The Girls In Thong — is nowhere near as racy as the other movies Franco made on this end of his career, feeling more like a comedy than anything else.

The men are stupid, the women are attractive, there’s no translation and no awkward anatomy zoom lenses. That said, this is quite obviously for people that have created their own Letterboxd lists to track how many Franco movies they’ve watched.

Maybe it’s so chaste — well, for Franco — because Antonio Mayans had his wife Juana de la Morena and both of his daughters, Ivana and Flavia, in the cast (actually, that’s BS because Flavia was also in Emanuelle Exposed and Bahía blanca). Speaking of that Emanuelle Franco movie, its lead Muriel Montossé is also in this, as are Eva León (Voodoo Black Exorcist, Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll) and Analía Ivars (Gold Temple Amazons, Lust for Frankenstein).

Tsai Chin is the daughter of the infamous — and now dead — Fu Manchu, so she’s one Sax Rohmer character. As she controls a large empire of women soldiers who command erotic chemical hypnosis powers, she’s also another Rohmer supervillainess, Sumaru, who Jess Franco already made two movies about — The Million Eyes of Sumaru and The Girl from Rio.

Of course, she’s played by Lina Romay and yes, there’s lots of torture, as she kidnaps a rock band and a private detective named Mandell seeks to chop and kick his way through her forces. As for Fu Manchu, he’s in hell and can only speak through an urn, while Nayland Smith hired Mandell.

This whole thing was shot in a hotel, which is a late career Franco directorial trademark it seems, and there’s no concern for coherence or continuity. It does, however, have its female army dress in thongs and high heels, which doesn’t seem to be the most intimidating of uniforms, but when Franco and Romay build a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude, I guess they can really do anything they’d like.

Sure, Lily C.A.T. is Alien, but isn’t Alien also Queen of Blood, Planet of the Vampires and It! The Terror from Beyond Space? Hey, what if they throw in some of The Thing too?

The Syncam Corporation is investigating a new planet and has hired the deep-space cruiser Saldes to take a hypersleep trip of 20 years — which will feel like a month for its crew — to see what they can find. At least two of the crew are imposters and one of them is definitely a killer, which gets worse when each dead body disappears, a victim of a super bacteria, while another member of the crew — perhaps one you’d least expect — is something more than they seem.

Director Hisayuki Toriumi directed Gatchaman, the anime that was translated here as Battle of the Planets, while writer Hiroyuki Hoshiyama wrote episodes of The Ultraman, Urusei yatsura and Mobile Suit Gundam. These shows will not prepare you for how gory this movie is, even in its American version. That’s due to creature designer Yoshitaka Amano, who worked on Gatchaman and Vampire Hunter D.

My favorite part of this is when the captain explains how once you start time jumping, the things you are working for and the people you are making the money for no longer matter and you become forgotten. It’s a shockingly raw and honest moment of pain in the midst of a science fiction gore cartoon.

You can watch this on Tubi.