Also known as …And Give Us Our Daily Sex, this film finds director and co-writer (with Sergio Garrone, who also directed and wrote Django the Bastard, SS Experiment Love Camp and If You Want to Live… Shoot!) José Ramón Larraz making a Commedia Sexy All’ Italiana except in Spain, but you’ll forgive him as he was smart enough to get Laura Gemser as the lead and really, most of the movie has a good chance of me liking it.

She plays the unnamed friend of Veronica (Bárbara Rey, The Ghost Galleon) and the two live upstairs from a couple and their teenage son Albert, who is driven near-mad by the fact that two gorgeous lesbian nurses live upstairs. That’s why he builds a periscope — it’s there in the original name — all while the parents basically lead their own sex lives outside their marriage.

That’s what leads to Albert getting pains in the groin that Ms. Gemser correctly diagnoses as blue balls and then jerks the kid off with his parents in the room. Her husband Gabriele Tinti is also in this and why not? I loved that they used their movie careers to basically travel the world for free.

The porn inserts in this cheapen the film somewhat; it’s certainly erotic enough what with Laura Gemser in garters (I get it, I feel like Evelyn Quince) but you know, much like how Bava only worked once with Vincent Price and it’s Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, I can’t even imagine if Larraz made one of his trademark houses in the London countryside and women who murder with Gemser. More people would be talking about it than me writing a few hundred words about a softcore movie that only had a VHS release and is not known all that much in the U.S. Oh well.

The one thing you may recognize as Larraz is that the mother is using her lover to buy a mink coat that her husband refuses to purchase as most of their money goes to improving his balding hair. The fact that the nurses end up with it and the son’s virginity just sticks it to the upper class even more. But seriously, if you were to lose it to Gemser and Rey, would you even need to be alive any longer? Your life will not improve.

Post-Moonraker, there seemed to be an interest in creating new Eurospy ripoff movies like The Nude Bomb; No. 1 of the Secret Service (I realize it came out in 1977) and its sequels Licensed to Love and Kill and Number One Gun. The Golden Lady literally says in its ads that it’s a female James Bond; most curiously it was directed by horror and sex film fiend José Ramón Larraz from a script by Joshua Sinclair, who went from working in Calcutta with Mother Teresa to making Marlene Dietrich’s last movie Just a Gigolo, writing Keoma and making 1985’s Shaka Zulu.

Julia Hemingway (Ina Skriver using the name Christina World, already famous from her love scene with Koo Stark in The Awakening of Emily; she was also in episodes of Space: 1999 and The New Avengers)  has been hired by a millionaire named Charlie Whitlock (Patrick Newell, the Mother spymaster of The Avengers) to destroy his competition in the oil fields of Saudi Arabia.

The film also decides to up its Eurospy cast by having Q himself, Desmond Llewelyn, appear as a mentor to our heroine and, you knew it, give her a few gadgets.

Julia is helped by three agents who in every way are to remind us of Charlie’s Angels: the tech-savvy Lucy (June Chadwick, Lydia from V and Dolby mispronouncing Jeanine Pettibone in This Is Spinal Tap), military superwoman Dahlia (Suzanne Danielle, who shows up in The Wild Geese and Carry On Emmannuelle as Emmannuelle) and supermodel and nymphomaniac — it says so right on her file! — Carol (Anika Pave, who had a cameo in The Spy That Loved Me and was also in Confessions of a Window Cleaner). They’re joined by a pneumatic lady of the evening named Anita (Ava Cadell, who is in the Andy Sidaris films Do or Die, Hard Hunted, Fit to Kill and Return to Savage Beach as Ava, who goes from an evil hitwoman to a good agent of L.E.T.H.A.L. and a DJ/sex therapist who does her radio show from her hot tub; she is literally a woman made for Andy Sidaris films) who uses her orgasmic yelps and gyrations to flummox their enemies.

The girls come up against industrialists like Dietmar Schuster (comedian Dave King) and his bisexual henchman Wayne Bentley (Richard Oldfield, who shows up as one of the rebels in Empire Strikes Back) as well as Greek shipping tycoon Aristotle…I mean Yorgo Praxis (Edward De Souza, who is also in The Spy That Loved Me) and finally, Julia’s ex-lover Max Rowlands (Stephan Chase).

Also, Hot Gossip —  a British dance group who backed Sarah Brightman on her single “I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper” and also sang “Making Love on a Phone” — appear. They were also on The Kenny Everett Video Show and even recorded a second album — Geisha Boys and Temple Girls — that was produced by Martyn Ware (Human League/Heaven 17) with one song, “I Burn for You,” written by Sting. Several of the members of this dance band went on to bigger things, like video queen Bunty Bailey (who is also in Spellcaster and Dolls), Bruno Tonioli of Dancing with the Stars, Perri Lister (who sang the French parts in Billy Idol’s “Eyes Without a Face” and part of the Blitz Kids with Boy George, Steve Strange, Spandau Ballet and Marilyn; she’s also the mother of Idol’s son Willem Wolf Broad) and the aforementioned Brightman.

Girl group Blonde on Blonde —  made up of Page 3 girls Nina Carter (who was married to Rick Wakeman for a while) and Jilly Johnson — also are in this and on the soundtrack. They were big in Japan and best known for their disco cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.”

Somehow, despite glitz, fashion, disco and spying, this movie makes me wonder how and why this movie’s producers — Sinclair, Keith Cavele (he produced Queen Kong), Paul Cowan (The Crying Game) and Jean Ubaud (who moved on to make The Burning, Tag: The Assassination Game and Terminal Choice after this) — picked Larraz to make an action movie, a genre he’d never attempted before nor will he try again. The Spanish Eurosex and horror standout would later say that Sinclair “couldn’t write a letter home to his mother let alone a script.”

Alfredo Salazar wrote 65 movies (Frankestein el Vampiro y Compañía, Doctor of Doom and The Panther Women to name a few) and directed 11 and none of them prepared me — not even the black magic clown movie Herencia Diabólica for this movie.

Somehow, this movie seems Italian despite being made in Mexico and that’s a supreme compliment in my world. Josefina Hill (Ana Luisa Peluffo) and her sister Sonia (Anaís de Melo) have purchased a run-down mansion for a too good to be true price and you know how that goes in a horror movie.

Josefine is the more level headed of the two, a college professor, while Sonia has had mental powers since she was a child, using her abilities to predict the death of their mother and find lost items. And I say they’re sisters, because the movie tells us so, but they also indulge in topless massages and discuss that they’ve never been married so that they can always be there for one another.

There’s a painting of a mean-looking woman over the fireplace that ends up being the portrait of the madame that once ran this house of the rising sun and if we’ve learned anything from The Nesting, if there’s a bordello being turned into a house, there are ghosts. The madame was killed by a lover she hurt, but she may have also have been the person who sold them the house. Seeing as how the girls have already left their lease, they decide to move into the mansion with no electricity or telephone, because what could go wrong?

The madame begins to visit Sonia and comes between the sisters — psychically — and then the ghost — is it a ghost? — ends up seducing both of them. This movie is completely unconcerned with being incredibly sleazy, so perhaps this ghost is seducing me by knowing exactly the strangeness that I want from my entertainment.

Panties are stolen, rats run wild and the real identity of the madame is probably going to upset a lot of people if they ever see this movie. It doesn’t explain the flying objects, little earthquakes or the fact that the madame’s hands glow blue when she appears. There’s also a lovemaking scene that sends Josefina into the kind of bliss that makes her imagine that she’s dancing around a piano.

Peluffo was one of the first Mexican actresses to appear nude — in 1955’s La fuerza del deseo — and she’s also in a movie that may challenge this for being as weird as it gets, El Violador Infernal, which has her play El Diablo and give a condemned man the chance to live forever as long as he sexually assaults people, kills them and then carves 666 into their bodies. Trust me, Mexican sleaze horror defines the term problematic and then pisses all over the dictionary.

You can watch this on YouTube.

John Huston was originally going to direct Charles Bronson and Jill Ireland in this movie, working from a script by Wendell Mayes, the writer of Death Wish as well as From Hell to Texas and The Poseidon Adventure. Huston worked for some time on the film, but a mixture of illness and creative issues led to him leaving and being replaced by Stuart Rosenberg (The Amityville Horror, Voyage of the Damned).

Charlie Congers (Bronson) has been assigned to bring gangster Joe Bomposa’s (Rod Steiger) girlfriend Jackie Pruitt (Jill Ireland) back to the U.S. so that she can testify what she knows. The truth is, she knows nothing, but that doesn’t mean that Bomposa won’t take her out and the FBI won’t hang both her and Congers out to dry.

This movie was produced by Lew Grade’s ITC Entertainment, which spent millions on movies like The Legend of the Lone Ranger, Movie Movie, Raise the Titanic, The Golden Gate, Escape to Athena, The Golden Gate and Road to the Fountain of Youth with Bing Crosby and Bob Hope (the last two of these went unmade). The only two of their movies that made money were The Boys from Brazil and The Muppet Movie. Bronson would make two more movies for ITC, Borderline and The Evil That Men Do.

It’s not the best of Bronson’s movies, but it does have lots of great character actors in it, like Strother Martin, Bradford Dillman, Henry Silva and Paul Koslo. Not that it mattered to Bronson, who was a success on this no matter what, as he made $1.5 million, a percentage of the film’s profits, a role for his wife and the traveling expenses for an entourage of more than fourteen people and the blended Bronson-Ireland family.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Who is the lead character in this? Batman? The Golden Bat of Japanese culture? The Batman of Zur-En-Arrh?

Who knows, but when a bunch of kids and their pet dog find supervillain Black Star and his army of henchmen, they must find the hero they worship and get his help, all to show their dying friend that they can be brave. Also, cats and dogs in this universe have the power of speech while humans are animated so poorly that they stand in place for several minutes at a time.

I always hated teen characters and sidekicks, because I never wanted to be Wendy and Marvin or Bucky or Robin. I wanted to be Batman. Years later, I still can’t figure out why comics and cartoons and pushed these second bananas our way. Well, this movie has like six Snapper Carrs in it and one’s dying and his mom died and now he’s going bald.

Made in Korea, dubbed in Spanish, combining a Japanese superhero with an American one. It’s a wild world, huh?

You can watch this on YouTube.