El periscopio (1979)

Also known as …And Give Us Our Daily Sex, this film finds director and co-writer (with Sergio Garrone, who also directed and wrote Django the BastardSS Experiment Love Camp and If You Want to Live… Shoot!) José Ramón Larraz making a Commedia Sexy All’ Italiana except in Spain, but you’ll forgive him as he was smart enough to get Laura Gemser as the lead and really, most of the movie has a good chance of me liking it.

She plays the unnamed friend of Veronica (Bárbara Rey, The Ghost Galleon) and the two live upstairs from a couple and their teenage son Albert, who is driven near-mad by the fact that two gorgeous lesbian nurses live upstairs. That’s why he builds a periscope — it’s there in the original name — all while the parents basically lead their own sex lives outside their marriage.

That’s what leads to Albert getting pains in the groin that Ms. Gemser correctly diagnoses as blue balls and then jerks the kid off with his parents in the room. Her husband Gabriele Tinti is also in this and why not? I loved that they used their movie careers to basically travel the world for free.

The porn inserts in this cheapen the film somewhat; it’s certainly erotic enough what with Laura Gemser in garters (I get it, I feel like Evelyn Quince) but you know, much like how Bava only worked once with Vincent Price and it’s Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, I can’t even imagine if Larraz made one of his trademark houses in the London countryside and women who murder with Gemser. More people would be talking about it than me writing a few hundred words about a softcore movie that only had a VHS release and is not known all that much in the U.S. Oh well.

The one thing you may recognize as Larraz is that the mother is using her lover to buy a mink coat that her husband refuses to purchase as most of their money goes to improving his balding hair. The fact that the nurses end up with it and the son’s virginity just sticks it to the upper class even more. But seriously, if you were to lose it to Gemser and Rey, would you even need to be alive any longer? Your life will not improve.

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