TUBI ORIGINAL: TMZ No BS: Hollywood’s Dumbest Moments (2024)

The TMZ crew all gets together and yells at one another about the dumbest celebrity decisions, like how T.I. wanted to be there for his daughter’s gynecologist visits and to be sure she was still a virgin. According to Global News, his daughter said that T.I. had been going with her to these doctor visits since she was 14 or 15 and she “couldn’t have said no” to her dad when he asked to join for the appointments. She also revealed on Instagram that she has harmed herself in the past to deal with her emotions.

Want even dumber? There’s Justin Bieber saying that Anne Frank would have been a “Belieber,” “Live for Now” the Kim Kardashian Pepsi commercial where she solves a protest and police unrest by giving a cop a soda — created by a team of white people and which caused Pepsi to have to write “Pepsi was trying to project a global message of unity, peace and understanding. Clearly we missed the mark, and we apologize. We did not intend to make light of any serious issue. We are removing the content and halting any further rollout. We also apologize for putting Kendall Jenner in this position.” — as well as the celebrity “Imagine” video during the COVID-19 era and Adam Levine cheating with a woman and using his band’s Instagram account to send messages.

Of all of these decisions, the fact that I watch multiple Tubi TMZ shows in a row to write about them on this site may be among the silliest.

That said, this is just like lying on my grandmother’s bed with a stack of National EnquirerStarNational Examiner and Globe newspapers and tearing through them, learning about Liz Taylor’s sad last days and who was on drugs, who was on the watermelon diet, who was a friend of Dorothy and who was a cheat. Those are some of the best days of my childhood.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Gossip to Die For (2024)

Quinn Walker (Susan Ateh) has just returned to detective work after the death of her police officer husband, a man who everyone loved and who she knew as an abuser. She’s kept that a secret from everyone but most essentially from her son Liam, who idolized his dad. She’s become even more of the mean mom that he forced her to be, keeping her son from his interest in detective work and using true crime websites to help others solve crimes.

On the first day back on the job, she nearly shoots a suspect who ends up being an actor in the middle of a scene. It gets her noticed and while some of the press is bad, many see her as a hero for the way she tried to save someone, even if it was on a movie set.

She’s also just been assigned a new partner, Carter (Jay Rincon), a London detective who has come to America to — as we learn later — find the murderer of his father. They don’t get along and she doesn’t trust him, but her son sees him as someone worth knowing.

In the middle of all this drama, there are also murders.

Mia Bailey is the hottest actress in Hollywood and she’s about to star in a movie based on her friend Anna’s (Roisin Browne) script, Blind Items. At the same time, there’s a blind items website that reveals who will die next, from Mia in the place where her career started to her business manager Jason Cohen (Luis Donegan-Brown) and almost everyone connected to Mia and Anna, who came to the city of dreams together, living with a circle of friends, all of whom are either dying or suspects, like Ozzie, a former military veteran and now spiritual healer.

As Quinn tries to deal with her grief, her new partner and being a mother, she starts to depend on her son, who is able to find clues that she never saw and use the internet way better than she ever would be able to. However, this puts him in danger.

I really liked Quinn’s boss, Captain Ellis (Doña Croll), who has a really great scene with Quinn where she explains that she knew that she always had a hard time being the wife of someone that everyone saw as a much better person than he really was.

The strange thing is deciding to have a London detective in the U.S. When does this ever happen? It’s kind of strange, but not enough to put me off the movie.

Director and co-writer — with Daniel Mahler Landman — Nanea Miyata also directed A Party To Die For, another Tubi Original. I liked how whoever is behind the murders goes through some twists and turns, using Quinn’s recent incident in the news against her. And by the end, there’s a moment that makes who the killer is up in the air, as the messages haven’t stopped on the site.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Tales from the Crypt S3 E7: The Reluctant Vampire (1991)

“I want to suck… Oh, hello kiddies. You caught me in the middle of my homework. Your old pal the Crypt Keeper’s a real believer in continuing dead-ucation. Which brings us to tonight’s murderous morsel. It’s a juicy little tale about a real blood sucker who never learned to go for the jugular. I call this plasma play “The Reluctant Vampire.””

Directed by Elliot Silverstein (The CarA Man Called Horse) and written by Terry Black (Dead Heat), this stars Malcolm McDowell as Daniel Longtooth, a vampire who choose to get his fix from the blood bank he works at. It’s run by Mr. Crosswhite (George Wendt) and he takes every chance to be rude and mean to his workforce, saving his sexual harassment for Sally (Sandra Dickinson).

It turns out that Daniel is drinking so much that the blood bank is in danger of going out of business. He decides that he must use his vampire abilities to get victims and refill the plasma to save the job of Sally, who he is in love with.

Meanwhile, the police — led by Detective Robinson (Paul Gleason, forever a jerk in every movie) — have brought in Rupert Van Helsing (Michael Berryman, looking like Judge Doom) to hunt down the vampire who they believe is haunting the streets, draining muggers and low level criminals of their blood. What complicates matters is that Mr. Crosswhite knows that Daniel is a vampire and is using him to fix his business.

Maybe Sally knows too, as we find out in this episode’s happy ending.

Terry Black wrote five episodes of this show, including three using the name Donald Longtooth. Yes, the same last name as the character in this episode.

I’m not a fan of the total comedy episodes of this show, but what can you do?

This episode is based on “The Reluctant Vampire!” from Vault of Horror #20. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis.

Late Night With the Devil (2023)

An international co-production of Australia, the United States, and the United Arab Emirates — with all the logos before the movie begins to prove it — Late Night With the Devil takes place on Halloween night 1977 in New York City. Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian) has been the host of a show called Night Owls with Jack Delroy for several years and try as he might, he has never come close to the ratings of Johnny Carson, something that numerous people — Joey Bishop, Joan Rivers, Alan Thicke, Les Crane, Bill Dana,  David Brenner, Pat Sajak, Ron Reagan, Dennis Miller, Steve Allen, Arsenio Hall, Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett, David Frost, Jerry Lewis and Regis Philbin — all tried to do. The only night that he came close with on the evening when his wife Madeleine Piper (Georgina Haig) came on the show to discuss her brave fight with cancer.

On this night, the sponsors who want to pull out are there, producer Leo Fiske (Josh Quong Tart) is trying to manage the pressure, Jack’s sidekick Gus McConnell (Rhys Auteri) keeps bugging the host and a guest just might finally tip the ratings Jack’s way when he needs it most.

Lilly D’Abo (Ingrid Torelli) is the last survivor of the mass suicide of the followers of Szandor D’Abo (Steve Mouzakis). D’Abo is based on Anton Szandor LaVey, as we see from a documentary within the movie, La Satanisme aux U.S.A. ’71 which is obviously taken from Angeli Bianchi… Angeli Neri AKA Witchcraft ’70.*

Yet Lily — and the parapsychology helping her, Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) — aren’t the only ones experiencing the occult.

There are rumors that Jack is part of The Grove, a highly influential group of rich and powerful men. It’s based on the Bohemian Grove — a two-week encampment of some of the most prominent men in the world where the first Manhattan Project meetings were held and also where a yearly Cremation of Care ceremony in front of a giant owl representing old god Moloch, complete with the voice of Walter Cronkite — and there are whispers that Jack got his show as the result of his membership.

Along with Lily and June, the other guests are psychic medium Christou (Fayssal Bazzi) — whose name may reference philosopher, metaphysician and composer Ianni Christou and who may be inspired by Doris Stokes, a psychic who regularly appeared on the Australian talk show The Don Lane Show, and the look of Australian hypnotist Reveen) and a former magician turned professional psychic debunker and leader of the International Federation of Scientific Investigation into the Paranormal by the name of Carmichael Haig (Ian Bliss, playing a character definitely based on “Amazing” James Randi, who called Stokes a liar on the aforementioned Don lane hosted program, at which point Lane said, “You can piss off,” and kicked him out of the studio). Both of these characters are amazing and so well acted; in fact, Bliss wasn’t even the original actor and had been a reader for the film’s auditions.

Plus, they show Haig investigating Amityville and making fun of the Warrens.

As the show starts — complete with monologue — Christou takes the stage and he’s obviously doing cold reading, where you blast out multiple cues to a large audience, such as “Is there someone who is thinking of a name that starts with R?” and “Someone has lost a family heirloom, where are they?” He’s also obviously using someone that interviews all of the guests before the show, which enables him to do his best psychic reading. This again is very similar to how James Randi figured out how televangelist Peter Popoff was knowing all about people in his audience.

Yet Christou must have some psychic power because he’s suddenly overtaken and brings up someone named Minnie, which is Jack’s wife’s secret nickname. Haig questions everything about his methods and at that point, Christou throws up black bile and soon dies in an ambulance, unknown to the studio audience.

Then, we finally meet Lily, who came from a cult that worshipped Abraxas, the ancient god who Epiphanius said was “the cause and first archetype” of everything. Even when not possessed, Lily is disquieting in the way that she speaks to people. Yes, she’s a teenage girl and awkward, but there is something that doesn’t add up. Her eyes are too wild.

She refers to the demon inside her as Mr. Wriggles. Jack wants to see the demon on his show, something that June doesn’t agree with. After all, Satan was big ratings in the 70s, as seen on one of the magazines shown in the film, saying that a movie of the week was entitled Hail Abraxas. Also, Dr. June’s book, Conversations with the Devil, brings to mind Michelle Remembers, another occult paperback that made the talk show circuit (you can learn all about that book in the doc Satan Wants You). The demon makes her levitate, speak in a strange voice, scars her face and everything else you expect from the decade that gave us The Exorcist (there’s even a black and white photo of Lily floating in the sky above an apartment building, just like another 1977 Satanic moment Exorcist II: The Heretic).

Carmichael claims that Jack set all of this up and to prove it, he hypnotizes Gus and the entire audience sees him pulls worms out of his body, something that doesn’t show up on video. Yet when they watch the footage of Iris, they can see the same demonic events and even Jack’s wife’s ghost on the stage — she shows up multiple times in the movie, if you look** — at which point the prophecies in the film about Gus (make your head spin means he dies with his head turned around, Regan-like, after pulling a cross and saying, “The power of Christ compels you.”) and Carmichael (“He’s all wax no wick,” as he burns from the inside out) brutally happen and even Dr. June is killed as revenge for slapping Iris when she revealed that she and Jack have been sleeping together.

Only Jack remains, now trapped within his show, finding out that he has met the demon before at the Grove and that he lost his wife for the show that made him famous. He finds Madeleine dying in the hospital and she begs him to end her pain. He takes a ritual dagger and stabs her, waking only to find that he has killed Lily. Surrounded by dead bodies, he keeps repeating the phrase that brought the audience and Gus out of a trance: “Dreamer, now awake.”

Directed and written by Colin and Cameron Cairnes, this is a movie almost made to appeal to me. I have a huge affection for the talk show celebrity of the late 1970s, as well as the occult decade that eventually fell to the Satanic Panic. And quite frankly, no matter what you think of the movie, David Dastmalchian is incredible. He got the role based on a Fangoria article about his love of regional horror hosts. That’s why there’s a line to references Berwyn, Illinois, which is a shot out to Svengoolie.

One of the major issues people had with this movie is that three of the title cards used AI. There was almost a boycott fo the film, which led to the directors and writers saying. “In conjunction with our amazing graphics and production design team, all of whom worked tirelessly to give this film the 70s aesthetic we had always imagined, we experimented with AI for three still images which we edited further and ultimately appear as very brief interstitials in the film.”

You won’t notice.

Another issue that many had was that this plays fast and loose with it being found footage with so many camera angles backstage. Forcing the film to fit the constraints that nobody has set down betrays a lack of intelligence and creativity, in my opinion. The ending also upsets some, as they see no need for it, but it makes so much sense. After all, the demon of the grove appears as an owl, which explains where Jack got the name of his show from.

This quote by the Cairnes sums up my fascination with this time: “In the ’70s and ’80s there was something slightly dangerous about late-night TV. Talk shows in particular were a window into some strange adult world. We thought combining that charged, live-to-air atmosphere with the supernatural could make for a uniquely frightening film experience.”

This film captures that feeling.

Sure, it’s a lot of the same ideas that were explored in Ghostwatch and the superior WNUF Halloween Special (and its sequel, Out There Halloween Mixtape).

But any movie that starts with a fake documentary that feels like The Killing of America and has “Forever My Queen” by Pentagram playing is going to be hard for me to hate, after all.

*During a ritual, Szandor says, “So it is done.” Those same words replace “End transmission” as the movie ends.

**According to IMDB, “At the end of the prologue explaining Jack Delroy’s backstory, she can be seen (at around 8 mins) in a TV monitor behind Jack when he is leaning on the doorstep. 2. at 19:18 When the psychic is talking to the mother and her child she appears as a ghostly image near jack after an audio glitch. 3. Early on in the film (at around 24 mins) in a mirror backstage just as the crew is about to go back on the air; and again in Carmichael’s pocket watch as it sits on a table on set. 4. She also appears (at around 1h 17 mins) on the stage in one quick shot after Jack asks the producers to step through the playback frame-by-frame, standing behind him with her hand on his shoulder and one minute later also for a quick shot just after lights turned off.”

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

Directed by Zelda Williams, the daughter of Robin, in her debut, Lisa Frankenstein was written by Diablo Cody, who claims that it takes place in the same universe as Jennifer’s Body, It’s set in 1989 and really feels like a movie made for those who may not have been alive at that time and want to feel a cinematic version of it rather than those who lived through it and saw films that inspired this movie, like Weird Science.

Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton, who was in Big Little Lies, Blockers and Freaky), besides being saddled with that name, has lost her mother to an axe murderer and now has a horrible stepmother Janet (Carla Gugino), who has pretty much taken her father (Joe Chrest) from her. The positive things in her life include her somewhat goofy stepsister Taffy (Liza Soberano) and best friend Lori (Jenna Davis, the voice of M3GAN). And oh yes, the cemetery where she sits near an unnamed musician (Cole Sprouse, who was Cody on The Suite Life of Zack & Cody) who had fallen in love with a woman before she left him for another man and he was struck by lightning.

After a boy named Doug (Bryce Romero) tries to assault her at a party, Lisa ends up back at the grave, wishing she could be together in death with the musician. Lightning hits his grave and he comes back from the dead as a zombie who follows her. He’s missing body parts, ones that he soon gains by killing anyone who has wronged Lisa, who uses a tanning bed to fuse their parts with his body before the police start to figure out that everyone dead has a connection to Lisa.

I realize that this film may not be for me as a target audience, but I liked its look and soundtrack. Cody’s dialogue is an acquired taste, as hardly anyone speaks like that in real life, but hey, we’re watching a movie. The leads are charming and if this came out in 1989, when I was 17 and the audience for it, I probably would have loved it way more than I did in 2024 when I am 51.

Frog Dreaming (1986)

Everett De Roche also wrote a ton of films that more people should see: RoadgamesPatrickHarlequinLinkRazorbackFortress and more. I can say the same for this film’s director, Brian Trenchard-Smith, who said of his own work, “There is something you always get in a Trenchard-Smith movie: pace, a strong visual sense, and what the movie is actually about told to you very persuasively. Whatever I do, I’ll still be applying a sense of pace: trying to find where the joke is and trying to make the film look a lot bigger than it cost.” I’d recommend his film’s Stunt RockDead-End Drive-InTurkey ShootNight of the Demons 2 and even Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, which is way better than it ever should be.

This was originally to be directed by Russell Hagg, who wrote Trenchard-Smith’s BMX Bandits and was the art director of A Clockwork Orange.

Henry Thomas, Elliot of E.T., plays Cody, an American orphan living in Australia, raising by his guardian Gaza (Tony Barry). He’s a smart kid, intelligent enough to build his own railbike, and also interested in the cryptozoological legends of his adopted home. In Devil’s Knob national park, there are water monsters known as Bunyips, including one called Donkegin. There’s also another creature called the Kurdaitcha Man who is some kind of supernatural judge who comes after those who do harm to one another, murder animals without the need for food and destroy the environment.

Cody decides to explore the bottom of a pond in a diving suit of his own design. He gets stuck and everyone but his friend Wendy (Rachel Friend) thinks he is dead. What he thought was a monster is instead a steam shovel that has been stuck for years. That’s what satisfies the adults; the kids still can see the Kurdaitcha Man as he returns it to the pond.

For a kid’s movie, this is pretty terrifying. But I always think that there should be an element of the fantastic — and frightening — in these films to inspire.

The title refers to an Aboriginal myth. Alternate titles include The Go-Kids in the UK, The Quest in the U.S., The Mystery of the Dark Lake in Italy, The Boy Who Chases Ghosts in Bulgaria, The Spirit Chaser in Germany and Fighting Spirits in Finland.

You can watch this on YouTube.  You can also order it from Kino Lorber.

88 FILMS BLU RAY RELEASE: The Inspector Wears Skirts 2 (1989)

After the Police Academy with stunts awesomeness of the first movie, this has four new squad members join the Hong Kong Police Academy to be join the Banshee Squad led by Madam Wu (Sibelle Hu). However, many of them don’t get along with the existing team, like Susanna (Amy Yip), who is so well-endowed that she has to cut holes in the chest of her bulletproof vest. There’s also the male team, the Tiger Squad, who are led by Inspector Kan (Stanley Fung). Just like the original, Wu and Kan have a thin line between love and hate in their relationship.

That said, this time there’s competition for Madam Wu’s affection, as there’s a new antiterrorist trainer, Mr. Lu (Melvin Wong). The majority of this movie is all training until with twenty minutes left, it remembers that they need to bring the Banshee Squad and Tiger Squad back together and have all the good girls and guys stop fighting with one another.

There’s more dancing than fighting in this, more pranks and hijinks than fisticuffs. And you know, I don’t care. I love these movies, with their 80s fashion looks, lovable characters and blasts of action from producer Jackie Chan’s Jackie Chan Stunt Team. There are four of these movies and I will watch every single one of them with a huge grin.

So yeah, nothing happens, but when the first movie was such a success, they rushed this one. Just enjoy it for what it is and that we can watch movies like this in high definition now and not 20th generation VHS tapes that we bought at a convention that tape rot in months.

The 88 Films blu ray release of this movie has a 2K remaster from the original negatives and extras including a new commentary by Frank Djeng, interviews with director Wellson Chin and stuntmen Go Shut Fung and Mars, a trailer, stills gallery and a reversible cover with new artwork by Sean Longmore and the original poster art. You can get it from MVD.

APRIL MOVIE THON 3: Poison Ivy (1985)

April 30: Teen Movie Hell — Mike McPadden’s other book. List here.

Airing on NBC on February 10, 1985, between when Michael J. Fox was a star on Family Ties and then a huge star after Back to the FuturePoison Ivy was directed by Larry Elikann (who did eighteen ABC Afterschool Specials) and written by Bennett Tramer, who wrote Without Warning and would go on after this to create Saved By the Bell.

If you enjoyed High School U.S.A., well, this will be something else you will probably get into, as Fox and his love interest, Nancy McKeon, were in both and were also NBC stars. Fox is Dennis Baxter, the Bill Murray of this and McKeon is Rhonda Malone, who is studying to be a psychologist. There’s also a Color War — yes, this movie is Meatballs — and it has Robert Klein as the owner of the camp, Cary Guffey from Close Encounters of the Third Kind as a kid that wants to escape camp, Adam Baldwin as one of the bad guys, Joe Wright from Silver Bullet as a camper who runs scams and flams,  Thomas Nowell (who was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives) as a young writer with a crush on Rhonda and Matthew Shugailo as a chubby kid who uses humor to get through the summer’s hijinks.

Oh yeah — Fox and McKeon met on the set of High School U.S.A. and dated for three years.

You can watch this on YouTube.

RADIANCE FILMS BLU RAY RELEASE: Allonsanfan (1974)

Set against the backdrop of the Italian Unification in early 19th-century Italy, after the fall of Napoleon, Fulvio (Marcello Mastroianni), an aristocrat who has dedicated his life to the revolution, has become disillusioned.

You will understand why, as the movie starts with Fulvio being released from prison after authorities spread the rumor that he sold out the Master of Sublime Brothers, a secret society of revolutionaries, to be freed. His formers friends put him on trial until they find out that their missing Master committed suicide days earlier. The group disbands and Fulvio finally goes home after decades gone, just as his relatives mourn his death.

His lover Charlotte (Lea Massari) wants to go to Sicily to start another revolution but Fulvio is exhausted by it all. He decides not to tell his fellow revolutionaries that the authorities are coming and most of them die, including Charlotte, moments after they are reunited with their son Massimiliano (Ermanno Taviani). The survivors have no idea that Fulvio has turned against them and think the money his lover left will go to the struggle; he wants to take their son to America.

He manages to nearly convince one of the revolutionaries, Lionello (Claudio Cassinelli), to kill himself before their boat capsides and kills him anyway; he also seduces his lover Francesca (Mimsy Farmer) while using the money to send his son to a boarding school while making it appear as if he were robbed. It all seems to come together, except for the titular Allonsanfàn (Stanko Molnar).

Directors and writers Paolo and Vittorio Taviani were inspired by 19th-century Italian operas, as well as an ill-fated 1857 revolutionary expedition led by Carlo Pisacane. Originally, the movie ended with Fulvio choosing not to betray his companions, but the Tavianis were themselves disillusioned with Italy itself.

It also has a great team working on the soundtrack, as it was composed by Ennio Morricone and directed by Bruno Nicolai.

The Radiance Films blu ray release of this film has a new 2K restoration of the film from the original negative, presented on blu ray for the first time in the world. There’s audio commentary by critic Michael Brooke, an archival interview with the Taviani brothers by critic Gideon Bachmann, a trailer, a reversible sleeve and a limited edition booklet featuring new writing by Italian cinema expert Robert Lumley and a newly translated contemporary interview with the Taviani brothers. There are only 3000 copies complete with full-height Scanavo packaging with removable OBI strip leaving the packaging free of certificates and markings. You can get it from MVD.