La Momia Azteca contra el Robot Humano (1958)

You may worry that you haven’t seen the first two Aztec Mummy films, but trust me, there are so many recaps here that you’ll get caught up really soon.

Somehow, Dr. Krupp has come back from a snakepit to become The Bat and lead a whole new gang. To get what he wants — that gold breastplate that has led him to battle Popoca, Dr. Eduardo Almada, Flor and Pinacate across this film series — he’s made a robot with a human brain that can deliver electronic shocks through its clawed hands.

If you learn anything from this film, maybe you shouldn’t. Aztecs never practiced mummification and used hieroglyphic writing, instead using cremation or simple burial, as well as pictographs. Maybe the filmmakers meant the Incans and the Mayans? Well, they buried Popoca as if he were an Egyptian style mummy, but one thinks that they based that knowledge on Universal horror movies and not any textbook.

You can watch this on YouTube.

La Maldición de la Momia Azteca (1957)

K. Gordon Murray seems like the perfect person — if Jerry Warren wasn’t going to do it — to bring this movie to the U.S. as The Curse of the Aztec Mummy. None of the voices seem like they fit the characters — which if you know the world of Murray’s films — makes perfect sense.

The evil gangster Dr. Krupp escapes from the police and hypnotizes Flor into telling him where the mummy’s tomb is. But didn’t the tomb and the mummy himself get blown up real good in the last movie? Why should we let common sense get in the way of things when there’s a masked wrestler named The Angel showing up to help the forces of good?

You know what Krupp gets for his trouble? Popoca comes back, kills every one of his men and then throws the baddy into a pit of snakes. Watching that, Flor and her leading man say, “Let’s get married.” That seems to make sense after you’ve seen an undead version of your past life lover kill everyone and everything just. to get a gold breastplate back.

You can watch this on Tubi.

La Momia Azteca (1957)

Across three movies all shot at the same time, Popoca the Aztec Mummy wreaked havoc across Mexico before his adventures were remixed by — you guessed it — Jerry Warren and retitled Attack of the Mayan Mummy. His version ends with the mummy killed by a car off-camera in one of the most anti-climactic scenes I’ve seen in a horror film.

Popoca was buried alive after being caught having an affair with Xochitl, who was put to death for her sin. Popoca must forever guard her remains within the Great Pyramid of Yucatán for his sins.

As we move into modern times, Dr. Eduardo Almada uses hypnosis to get his fiancee Flor Sepúlveda to go back to her past lives. You guessed it, she’s really Xochitl. They use her memories to find the pyramid and take a gold breastplate, which brings Popoca back from the dead. As things happen, some gangsters get involved as well, as they want the treasures protected by the mummy.

Obviously, this movie is incredibly influenced by the Universal series of films, down to the lighting and music.

This film is 80 minutes, but the net two films are much shorter while filled with flashbacks to this movie.

Secta Satanica el Enviado del Senor (1989)

This Arturo Martinez-directed film — he also made Macabre Legends of the Colony and The Mummies of San Angel — is quite literally an all-star team-up of two of Mexico’s most well-known horror actors.

Joaquin Cordero, who played Dr. Satan in two films, as well as appearing in los peliculas de terror like The Book of StoneThe Hell of FrankensteinLa Loba and Vacaciones del Terror 2, is Father Esteban, a Catholic priest who is losing his congregation.

He must deal with German Robles character, who is the dark leader of a Satanic church. Robles is perhaps best known for playing Count Karol de Lavud in El Vampiro and Nostradamus in the serial that gave birth to four different vampire films. He also played Satan in 1970’s El Pistolera Fantasma.

It doesn’t help that Robles’ character can help the blind see and the lame walk. How can the church keep up with that? Well, this being Mexican film, the Satanic priest also starts making his way through the wives and daughters of the village of San Andres, who are left mumbling, “The word of the envoy has penetrated my mind.”

After a Black Mass where Robles eats a girl’s heart and then nearly kills the older priest, there’s only one way to fix everything. Cordero must put on a crown of thrones and carrying a cross through the streets of his city.

My favorite part of this movie that was even after reducing the evil priest to a quivering mass of guts and bones, he keeps laughing. If you ever wanted to see the Mexican version of Needful Things mixed with the right parts of The Devil’s Rain!, this movie is the spicy recipe you’re after.

You can watch this on YouTube.

El Trono de Infierno (1994)

The title of this film is The Throne of Hell and madre de dios do I have a story to tell you about it. This movie is quite literally everything you want a 1994 cheaply made Mexican movie about possession to be, and by that, I mean it’s packed with gore and bad taste. That’s pretty much the description for nearly every movie that I love.

A group of archeologists excavating some Aztec ruins in Mexico City uncover a bizarre jar that has fumes that come out of it and before you can say Pazuzu, the main one has been possessed and begins wiping out people in all sorts of creative ways, like crucifying a woman upside down with a crown of thorns.

If you wonder, “Will they slowly take the nails out and have blood spray everywhere?” you have been watching too many Mexican horror films just like me.

A Catholic bishop figures out the solution: call for the Angel, who can walk on water and already has a demon-killing sword which may be Excalibur and the Seven Seals. Luckily, they also have a giant attache case with a gleaming gold shield, too. He’s some kind of Templar Knight. The big bad turns into a rubber-suited monster and they do battle.

This movie moves slowly in points and at other times, it rewards you with scenes of priests being launched out of windows and cops exploding. There’s also a solar eclipse and an earthquake, if you’re into those kinds of things.

Sergio Goyri plays both the knight and directed this, so I’m kind of hoping that it was some kind of crazy passion project. Every time I was ready to check out, this movie would reward me with something off the wall.

La Verdadera Historia De La Llorona (2006)

Every few decades, we get another La Llorona movie. The description for this one could be the same for any of them: “A woman dreams every night that she wanders around the city screaming for her dead children and realizes that the old house where she lives is actually the tomb of murdered children.”

This telenovela title translates as The True Story of the Weeping Woman. I do not think that this one is anywhere near the truth. I just have a feeling.

This was directed by Aurora Martinez, whose credits stretch way back to 1989 as a director. His Bloody Tarot has been a movie I’ve been hunting for some time. But after this, I’m not so sure.

You can watch this on Tubi or on YouTube.

We Are What We Are (2013)

This film is a remake of Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 movie of the same name (Somos Lo Que Hay), but made with an entirely Westernized crew. It’s all about the Parkers, a family who is engaged in a myriad of rituals that help them survive in the modern world. However, all, as always, is not what it seems.

The film begins with the matriarch of the family bleeding from the mouth and drowning. Her daughters Rose and Iris argue over which will take over her duties in the family’s religious ceremonies when we learn that they are all killers, taking turns murdering a girl that their father had abducted.

Director Jim Mickle didn’t want to make an outright remake of the original, instead finding inspiration in the pacing of Japanese horror.

There are plenty of gruesome sights here, as we learn just how deeply the family’s roots of cannibalism stretch.

There’s a great cast here, with the mother played by Kassie Wesley DePaiva (Bobby Joe from Evil Dead 2), Julie Garner (Sin City), Ambyr Childers (The Master), Bill Sage (who was just in The Dinner Party), Kelly McGillis, Wyatt Russell (the son of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) and Michael Parks (if I have to tell you who he is…).

You can watch this on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

Viaje Directo Al Infiero (1990)

The title of this movie translates as Direct Trip to Hell, which is probably a good description of 90 some-odd minutes of an evil uncle abusing his niece (Daniela Castro) while also being obsessed by death.

He’s also upset because she has feelings for his limo driver, which is kind of a queasy thing, but not as bad as the fact that he has a basement filled with dead people that he makes her hang out in and touch corpses.

The uncle believes that he will soon die, so he asks Castro to bury him in a shallow grave and to keep his body above ground for two days so that he doesn’t wake up in a grave. She refuses, so he locks her in that basement I mentioned above and all the corpses begin to come to life.

I fear that I’ve made this movie sound way more exciting than it is. Because trust me, it was so memorable that I had to job my memory by watching it again before writing this and it wasn’t any better the second time around.

You can watch this on YouTube.

ROKU users: Check out Midnight Movie Unchained!

Today, MVD and Rue Morgue sent us word of their new ROKU service, MIDNIGHT MOVIE UNCHAINED.

This FREE horror-centric curated channel offers free with ads movies “carefully selected from the vast MVD film catalog, from underground horror to cult classics.”

For those curious about Midnight Movie Society — their paid service — this new channel is a great way to see what they have in store.

A quick scan of the offerings shows some good picks like FrancescaMrs. ClausPatrickThe VelocipastorShark ExorcistNext of KinHouse SharkSecret SantaThe Neon DeadInvasion of the Blood FarmersDark WatersThe Other Hell, Jess Franco’s Devil HunterDeath Warmed UpThe UncannyZombie 3Eaten Alive! and many more.

For more details, visit the Roku Channel Store.

Drive-In Friday: Your Movies Here!!

If you’re a regular visitor to B&S About Movies, you know that beginning in March the site started a new feature where, each Friday at 11 AM, we share movies that would play at an all-night drive-in — provided if we owned our own drive-ins.

Some of our guest writers, such as loyal readers and good friends Paul Andolina, Roger Braden, Eddie Harrison of Film Authority, and overall drive-in movie fan Sean Mitus have shared some of their favorite drive-in flicks. You can write whatever you want. A double feature? A triple feature? A four or five film event? A theme night with your favorite actor or director? A slasher night? A zombie night? Go nuts! Mainstream films, underground films, trash flicks . . . share you films and your knowledge of film with the world.

Is a “Drive-In Friday” feature unable to contain your excitement for films?

Then how about doing a “Top Tens” feature? Paul Andolina of Wrestling with Film, Mark Begley of Wake Up Heavy: Recollections of Horror, Jesse Berberich of Disreputable Cinema, Roger Braden of Valley Nightmares, professional wrestler Derek Direction, Craig Edwards of Let’s Get Out of Here!, wrestler and film fan Kris Erikson, filmmaker Matt Frame, Robert Freese of Videoscope Magazine, YouTube‘s Roslyn Frost, Donald Guarisco from Schlockmania, Gregg Harrington of Neon Brainiacs, Ted Lehr of Super No Bueno, Adult Swim animator William Mendoza, Lana Revok of Starts Today, Bill Van Ryn of Drive-In Asylum, and Slasher Trash of Slasher Trash have come through with great reviews of their favorite “tens”.

Or would you rather show us what DVDs and VHS tapes are in your collection? For that we have a “Show Your Stacks” featurette. You can check out the stacks of Dustin Fallon of Horror and Sons to get an idea. Pick a letter or pick a theme. Just snap a pic, write it up, and send it on over.

But you don’t have to be a writer or a curator of a magazine or online ‘zine to write for B&S About Movies. You can just be a fan with a love of old UHF-TV of the ’60s, drive-ins of the ’70s, home videos of the ’80s, and DVDs of the ’90s. All fellow WordPress-member followers of B&S About Movies are welcome. Or if you are just one of the many who have us bookmarked the site or visit us from the IMDb or Letterbox’d, you’re welcomed as well.

So drop us a line at bandsaboutmovies@gmail.com or add a comment below. We’ll get in touch and share your “Drive-In Friday,” “Show Your Stacks,” and “Top Tens” with the world.

As always . . . make sure to drive with your parking lights on and clean up after yourself, as those darn burger and hot dog foil wrappers wreck havoc on the bush hog. And don’t forget to try our snack bar, which will remain open until the last feature starts.